Savoir Aimer
by FBI Bones
Summary: Knowing how to love, knowing how to love each other, and knowing how to love something new. Time changes people and Daniel and Vala can't change who or what they are... carpe diem!
1. PK6254

**Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG1 or any of it's affiliated characters and locations. **

**Title: S****avoir Aimer **

**Summary: ****Knowing how to love, knowing how to love each other, and knowing how to love something new. Time changes people and Daniel and Vala cant change who or what they are... carpe diem! **

**Pairing: Daniel/Vala**

**Rating: PG13.**

**Genre: Drama/Romance **

Chapter 1: PK6-254

As he stepped free of the event horizon and onto the dais at the other side, Cam glanced back briefly as the rest of his team followed suit before turning back to survey the lush landscape before him. Sharing a brief look with Carter on his right he turned to the others, taking a breath "let's-"

"Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c's abrupt tone cut him off and his steady stare to somewhere behind him, the same expression in some form or another on Daniel and Vala's faces he turned slowly around.

Peering out from behind the shrubs and trees were dozens of people, their piercing gaze fixating on the newcomers to their world, curiosity getting the better of many as they straightened and took tentative steps forwards.

"Hello!" Vala moved from her position behind Daniel "we're from a planet called-" a hand on her shoulder made her pause, silencing her quietly but not without rolling her eyes.

"Earth," Daniel continued "my name is Daniel Jackson," he stepped from the dais and gestured back to his team, pointing at each in turn "this is Teal'c, Colonel Cameron Mitchell, Colonel Samantha Carter and Vala,"

One particularly 'daring' woman moved further forward, coming to a halt maybe three feet from Daniel, large green eyes wide with a childlike curiosity "you come through the circle?"

"Yes," he confirmed what they had seen softly, smiling when the woman reached for his hand and held it palm against palm against her own.

She tensed when an almost unperceivable noise broke through the harmony of the songbirds that whispered in the background as Cam altered his hold on his gun. "We will not hurt you," she said staring straight at him, he almost backed up at her intense stare but instead squared his shoulders and went to stand by Daniel "good," he said raising his eyebrow as Daniel removed his hand from the woman's hold.

"My name is Amina," she beckoned her people out of hiding "come," she said, her fiery hair shimmered in the sunlight that had bronzed her skin over many years of playing and working. Her shawl slipped a little in her enthusiasm and she shifted it back.

As Daniel was tugged away in a tide of eager people, chattering amicably with each other and him as they headed towards what Cam assumed was their settlement some two miles away from the 'gate.'

"Woah there Jackson!" he called after them "wait up!" he jogged a little to catch up with the cheerful brigade, Sam, Teal'c and Vala on his heels

The town was a bustle of talk and movement, trading taking place at market stalls, children playing outside the large tents that were presumably homes, laughter buzzed and no one seemed very unnerved by the small crowd that moved swiftly through their presence.

"Haayth!" Amina called loudly "Haayth there are visitors from the great circle!"

'Haayth' was a friendly looking man, regal in his sand coloured robes, blue eyes twinkling in delight "welcome!" he declared spreading his arms wide and smiling broadly at his guests.

"Uh… hi," Cam gave him a half wave, glancing at Teal'c who simply raised his eyebrow, he cleared his throat "Jackson,"

Daniel brushed off the last of the villagers and moved back to the metaphorical 'safety' of his team. The chatter had mostly not been aimed at him although he had managed to ascertain they were a peaceful people with no intention of harming anyone. Visitors from the 'great circle' were not regular.

It also seemed that Amina held a position of great power within the community, not necessarily as a leader but more as someone whom the villagers respected and adored, and was easily able to influence with her gentle manner and fearless air.

"Looks like you got yourself a fan club there," Cam muttered and Daniel gave him a look, took a breath and turned to Haayth who addressed him almost immediately;

"Where do you travel from?" Haayth asked, stepping closer to the group, the crowds falling silent as he did so "what do you seek?"

"We're just looking to make friends," Vala piped up from behind Teal'c's bulky figure, quieting when she received no response from her company.

Cam ignored her "Earth. We're from a planet called earth,"

"How did you come to this planet?" Daniel attempted to spike conversation but Haayth avoided it, laughing slightly.

"That does not matter my friends, for now let's celebrate! will you join us?" he gestured to the lengthy table that had previously been empty but was now decorated from top to bottom with fruits and meats of all kinds, floral decorations and needlessly lit candles interspersed the plates and goblets lining the edges.

Benches fit to be seating three or four a time were side by side along the table edge, and no one was given chance to respond as they were rapidly ushered to seats.

"Well these people seem a happy bunch," Vala slipped onto the bench next to Daniel, snagging a what-looked-like-a-chicken-leg from a nearby platter and biting it as the villagers lunged at the food as if they hadn't eaten in days. Plates piled high with food placed in front of them all and Daniel nodded in thanks to his 'waiter' before she ducked her head in embarrassment and muttered something to her friend.

"We have much to be content about!" Amina grinned at them, sipping her goblet of wine "we are blessed with good fortune and long lives!"

Cam raised an eyebrow, leaning into Sam's personal space he whispered "does she seem drugged to you?" he received no reply.

"We have the ability to love and be loved. What is there not to be happy about my dear?" she fixed her gaze on Vala who paused.

The leg of meat half way to her mouth, her eyes flicking from Daniel to Cam who sat either side of her "what?" she said with her mouthful, swallowing soon after "what?"

* * *

Haayth frowned in worry, these people seemed insistent, concerned and most certainly not as light hearted as they should have been "we have seen no one of your description" he said "why don't you come and-"

"Can you hold on there for just two seconds?" Vala interrupted, smiling sweetly at him and tugging at Daniel's sleeve and Teal'c's arm when Haayth nodded graciously their exit and departed without another word.

"What?"

"So the Prior's haven't been here yet that means it won't be long before they arrive right?"

"Right," Cam agreed.

"Well why don't we take advantage of the resources they have here and see if they have anything useful we could use?"

"I doubt there's anything here that would help us but I suppose it's worth a try," Sam looked at each of her team members in turn.

"Sam and I'll go talk to the locals, Jackson, you and Vala go check the town archives and Teal'c…"

"I will continue to question Haayth," Teal'c inclined his head.

"So we're sorted," Cam clapped his hands together "we'll rendezvous back here in thirty minutes,"

"We'll be there," Vala said, enthusiasm shining through before she ran to caught up with Daniel who had begun his walk back to the main bustle of the town, his pack in his hand.

"Try and find out why they're all so chipper!" Cam called after them, receiving an off beat wave of acknowledgement from Daniel in response.

* * *

"So what exactly are we looking for?" Vala asked as the young boy, Ratej, scurried away after showing them the small stone building off to the side from the rest of the village.

"I have no idea," Daniel muttered, tracing a finger along the bookshelf nearest him and plucking one out at random.

Vala stood next to him, attempting to read the minute text from over his shoulder "what's it say?" she rested her chin on his shoulder.

"I have no idea," he breathed, brow furrowing as he attempted to figure out which language the strange dialect derived from "maybe – Vala get off," he shrugged her away and pouting suitably the young woman began perusing the shelves on her own.

Dust ridden volumes stacked high in to the rafters of the circular room, leather bound tomes all in the same language as the one in Daniel's hands. She had barely gotten half way round the room when Daniel spoke "it's a code," he announced, pulling pen and paper from his pack and began scribbling notes down.

"Well?" She hopped up onto the table crossing her legs and snatching the paper from his hand, much to his annoyance "well this isn't English,"

"No" he snatched it back "it's a form of-"

"What's that?" Vala asked, staring straight over Daniel's head, Daniel scrambled from his seat and stared also at the approaching duo.

Two floating forms sped towards them, an ethereal glow emanating from them. Their dress similar to that of the villagers but seemingly older.

"Hello?" Daniel tried but all that did was speed up the couple's approach, neither made a sound, he stepped around the table backing up towards the door, pulling his zat out at the same time as Vala armed hers and followed his example.

"Daniel?" Vala asked, "shouldn't we-"

He did not reply but rather fired the zat, giving Vala the answer she desired she did the same, both blasts went straight through them, hitting the opposite wall uselessly. Daniel and Vala shared a look of horror and before they could make quicker move to the door all went black.

* * *

"Where's Jackson and Vala?" Cam asked as he and Sam walked over to where Teal'c stood passively waiting where they had agreed too.

"They are not here," Teal'c stated.

Cam gave him a patented 'yeah?' look before glancing in the general direction of where Daniel and Vala had gone "you have any luck?"

"I did not. Haayth seemed most reluctant to speak of his heritage. Although he appears to be particularly fond of consuming much food,"

"We'll head down to the library,"

Their boots crunched heavily on the gravel path earning the three fifths of SG1 cheery smiles and waves of greeting, smiling in acknowledgement Cam quickened his step before coming to a halt near a group of playing children. "Hey kid," he called to the nearest, a boy, a mop of straw coloured hair flopping into startlingly blue eyes, he looked to be little older than four, five at most "what's your name?"

"Iskal" the boy replied "you looking for D'nel and Valah?"

"Yep,"

"Town arch… archi…" Iskal grew frustrated "this way," he ran on short legs ahead of the trio and as he disappeared round the corner Cam had to jog to catch up. Iskal was faster than he looked "there," he announced, puffing a little from exertion.

"Thanks," Cam patted Iskal on the head, which made the boy giggle with delight before scampering back to his friends.

Eyeing Teal'c's amused expression and Sam's soft smile Cam twisted the handle of the strong oak door in front of him, allowing it to swing open he was hit by a wall of darkness. "Jackson?" he called the torch on his weapon illuminating a thin strip of the room, it was immediately accompanied by two more.

"Vala?" Sam's voice echoed through the chilly room, ricocheting of the stone walls.

A sudden noise behind him made Cam whirl round his torch beam landing directly on the duo they had been looking for.

Daniel had Vala pinned against the wall, their lips locked together whilst her hands wandered in places Cam did not want to think about. Daniel had one hand entwined in the silky dark hair spilling over her shoulders as it appeared the ties for her pigtails had long since been removed and his other arm holding her flush against his body.

Cam looked both to his left then to his right, Sam and Teal'c had come to flank him and both held their own respective looks of surprise as his gaze turned once more to the couple in front of them.

_Author's Notes: Second SG fik, first one that isn't a tag please don't flame or be mean, reviews are good though:P_


	2. Home Run

Chapter 2: Home Run

"Well?" Landry entered the gate room, the blast doors sliding shut behind him as the wormhole deactivated and SG1 walked down the ramp, the grating rattling with every step.

"The Ori have not paid visit to the world as of yet," Teal'c pursed his lips in an attempt to ignore the antics of two rather excited people behind him.

Daniel and Vala were stood near the top of the ramp, his arms round her waist as she squirmed and laughed in his grasp, his fingers dancing over her stomach as he laughed along with her.

Landry nodded "did you find anything?"

"A whole bunch of happy-go-lucky villagers sir," Cam said, standing in front of the General "and Jackson and Vala making out in the dark,"

Landry's eyes widened in search of the mentioned couple, and then paused in shock as he saw them. "Doctor Jackson?" Landry asked slowly, concerned when there was no response, the only thing that changed was Vala turned in Daniel's arms and looped her arms round his neck, her fingers tugging playful on the short hairs at the base of his skull. He cleared his throat and two sets of sparkling eyes landed on him.

"Perhaps we should take them to the infirmary," Sam suggested, breaking the uncomfortable silence in the room.

"Good idea," Cam took Daniel's elbow, pulling him away from Vala and striding from the gate room, Teal'c holding Vala in a similar way on his heels.

* * *

"I wish to speak to my love!" Daniel cried as Carolyn pushed him back down on to the bed and checked his pulse, he pulled away "no more of this! Take me too her!" his shouts desperate as he cradled the wrist she was using against his chest, curling protectively round it.

"What's the verdict doc?" Cam stood with his arms folded just outside the cubicle, avoiding looking at Daniel for all it was amusing it was also very unlike the normal behaviours of the SGC's premier linguist.

Carolyn gathered her clipboard and left Daniel quickly, drawing the curtains closed she led Cam, Teal'c and Sam a little further away "nothing's wrong with them as far as I can tell. Slight hormonal imbalances but nothing to suggest anything particularly serious wrong with them. Medically both Doctor Jackson and Vala are in perfect health,"

"So why are they acting like this?"

Carolyn shrugged, her clipboard hugged to her chest, opening her mouth to say something but Teal'c spoke first.

"I agree with Colonel Mitchell. Their behaviour is most unusual,"

"I need to see him!" Vala's cry from the next cubicle over as she fought the nurses restraining her, kicking and writhing like a fish out of water. The nurses backed off when Carolyn nodded to them, immediately Vala scrambled from the bed and into Daniel's cubicle.

They were doing no harm to each other or, physically to anyone else so there was no reason to keep them separate. "I've redone the tests three times already. As I said, I can find nothing medically wrong with them" she took a breath "I have no choice but to release them"

The words had barely escaped her mouth when Daniel and Vala were stood right behind her "we may leave?" Vala asked, an adoring gaze shot straight at the man whose hand she held so tightly in her own, the personal space that was normally so carefully guarded invaded easily by this slim woman.

"Uh-" Carolyn barely had time to answer before Vala was dragging an equally joyous Daniel from the infirmary, only Cam's hand on the collar of Daniel's fatigues stopped them.

"Hold on there, lover-boy," he hauled them both back "we've got a briefing to attend,"

* * *

Cam muttered an apology as Sam jumped when his pencil broke in two with a loud snap, no louder however than the giggles and moans coming for the seat just down from him.

"I believe it would be most appropriate Daniel Jackson if you were to desist in your activities with Vala Maldoran until this briefing has adjourned," Teal'c said calmly, earning himself two matching glares accompanied by two equivocal pouts before they did however heed his request.

"What happened on PK6-254?" Landry asked, sighing impatiently as Vala's hand sneaked up behind Daniel and began stroking the back of his neck, seductive whispers uttered enough to make him both blush and smile "Doctor Jackson?" he tried.

"Must we do this now General?" he spoke slowly, almost faintly, a dopey smile on his face as he melted against her gentle touch.

"We were greeted by a whole bunch of really happy villagers," Cam started "and they insisted we joined in their feast,"

"Could it be that something they ate did…" he gestured.

"It's unlikely," Carolyn argued "if they'd ingested some form of chemical or drug then it would have shown up in the blood tests,"

"They didn't eat anything we didn't. And with all due respect sir we haven't started acting like a coupla sexed up bunny rabbits," Cam shot an irritated look at Vala who was now staring straight into Daniel's eyes. He mimicking her actions and both giggled softly in adoration of one another. Cam raised his eyebrows before turning back to the General "or at least two really drugged up teenagers,"

"Indeed," was Teal'c's only contribution.

"Colonel Mitchell, Teal'c and I went and spoke to the villagers-"

"Doctor Jackson, Vala, you're dismissed," Landry said shortly.

"Apologies General," Vala retracted her hands "we will behave," she sealed her promise with a smile.

Landry sighed, the tension in the room was almost audible but technically both of them had a right to be present "Colonel Carter, please continue,"

"Daniel and Vala went to the library to research and we were supposed to met up after thirty minutes. When they were late we went to the archives and found it in darkness. The next thing we saw was Daniel and Vala-"

"Having bypassed first base altogether and heading straight for the home run," Cam said "sorry sir," he lowered his eyes briefly at Landry's disapproving look then sighed as he heard whispers behind him "for God's sake could you two keep your hands to yourself for a few minutes? Please!"

Daniel was grinning broadly at 'his love' her hand clasped in his, as she smiled back, her dark hair spilling over her shoulder and onto the table "but I love her," he breathed.

"And I him," Vala continued.

"Would you _please_ do something?" Cam exclaimed, looking at Landry for an answer.

* * *

"Jackson and Vala checked out nearly forty minutes ago," Cam reported, sliding onto a stool in Carter's lab.

"I do not believe Daniel Jackson is himself right now,"

"What gave you that idea?" Cam said, as Sam cross-referenced something in her book "who's hungry?" his abrupt change of subject caused Sam too look up.

"Well shouldn't we go after them, see if they're okay?"

"If you wanna go catch them half way through 'doing the deed' then you go right ahead Sam,"

"I agree Colonel Mitchell. It would be most disturbing," his vague attempt at humour going amiss on his companions and his tiny smile dissipated.

"See…" Sam hesitated "it's like they're not even themselves,"

"You've just noticed?" Cam gave her a disbelieving look.

"No, I mean … Vala's much more compliant to people's suggestions, particularly Daniel's" she gave Cam a reproachful look as he grimaced at the 'suggestions' most likely made "she's just not-"

"I know," Cam agreed, waving her quiet "but what exactly could have happened? I mean it's not the usual Prior 'kill everybody who won't worship' scenario is it?"

"We do not know if the Ori are involved in this situation. They may just be acting of their own accord" Teal'c offered, as Sam closed her book and tidied a selection of diagrams and notes to a designated area of her desk.

Sam shrugged, "could be,"

* * *

"Nanith!" Vala cried as Daniel tugged her towards his car "what is this?" she stood next to the vehicle.

"It is some sort of transportation craft, this one's mind is strong, he tells me many things,"

"You do not know how to use such a thing!"

"But this 'Daniel' he knows," Nanith responded, his voice soft.

Vala look uncertain.

"Do you not trust me Akhiyaa?" Nanith took her hands in his, focusing solely on her.

She squeezed his hands "I do Nanith. I do. But are you certain you know how to operate this craft?"

"I am," Nanith answered confidently, a self-indulgent smile on his face.

"Then I will do as you wish," Akhiyaa smiled "for you I will do anything,"

_Author's Notes: I don't know how clear the whole Daniel/Nanith and Vala/Akhiyaa thing is but I hope it isn't too confusing. Shorter than last time I know :)__ please review! _


	3. Escape Plan

Chapter 3: Escape Plan

Sam got up to retrieve her second cup of coffee of the morning, masking a yawn behind her hand as she returned to her seat next to Teal'c. It was silent in the briefing room aside from the ticking of the clock and the tapping of Cam's pen against his palm as he drummed it there in boredom.

"Perhaps we should proceed with the briefing General Landry," Teal'c folded his hands on the desk in front of him, glancing at Sam as she sipped her coffee.

Landry ignored him "has either Doctor Jackson or Vala signed in this morning?" he asked Cam, agitation evident in his tone of voice.

"No sir" Cam reported "maybe Teal'c is right,"

"Daniel is supposed to be the one briefing us," Sam said, replacing the mug on the table, her hands curled around it.

"Sam are you all right?" Cam frowned in concern at her, turning slightly in his chair.

"I'm fine," she said "I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night – I was thinking,"

"Oh?" so maybe he wouldn't understand _everything _she said if she went off on one of her techno babbles but some of it might make _some_ sense, he _had _read every mission report she had written, that any one of the original SG1 had written. A fact he was rather proud of actually.

"Sir," she addressed Landry "maybe Daniel and Vala are under the influence of some sort of device back on that planet,"

"I doubt it," Cam contributed "they didn't seem entirely up to things like that, a little preoccupied by 'the wonders of life',"

Sam looked sceptic "I'm not so sure,"

"Would we have not found it upon scouting the land?" Teal'c suggested.

"Not necessarily," she shifted in her seat, straightening more "I mean we were didn't check anything thoroughly enough to be certain,"

"Well with Daniel and Vala getting frisky it was kind of hard to search for anything. I don't know about you guys but I certainly didn't want to see, and I don't think the locals would have appreciated it either, the free porn show curtsey of our resident thief and her friend the archaeologist,"

"Mitchell," Landry warned, although seeing his point.

"Yes sir," Cam nodded his head, then to Sam "so you want to go back to the planet?"

"Couldn't hurt could it sir?"

"Except that two of you end up like them," Landry got to his feet "no, go and find them, get them back on base,"

They all stood as Landry left the room; a brief look of discomfort was shared at the prospect of two of them ending up in the same predicament.

"Of course," Cam tried to tone the matter down by repeating something mentioned earlier "they could just be playing off their own backs,"

* * *

"Daniel Jackson's car seems to be most oddly parked Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c mused as he unfolded his bulky frame from the passenger seat of Cam's car.

"Parked? It looks more like it was abandoned," he replied as he and Sam headed up the path into the apartment building.

"Daniel?" Sam knocked on the door listening for any sounds to indicate anyone was there "Daniel it's me Sam," she tapped again.

Cam waited a moment before hammering a little harder on the door "Yo Jackson! You in there?"

"It does not appear that Daniel Jackson and Vala Maldoran are here at present,"

Sam tried the door and was a little disturbed the find it swung open easily. Cam's jaw dropped at the state of the place, food wrappers, beer bottles were all over the floor, pitched in darkness the only light filtering through from closed curtains and the door way the trio stood in.

"Daniel," Sam called again a little louder "Vala?"

A low groan from the bedroom had Cam heading for there, Sam and Teal'c closed behind "Daniel!" Sam breathed in relief.

"Go 'way!" Daniel's sleep haggard voice came from beneath the duvet, followed by an indignant yelp and a "do not poke me!"

Teal'c raised his eyebrow and looked at Cam who looked momentarily horrified "Daniel Jackson are you and Vala both dressed suitably for us to view you safely?"

The duvet moved some more "no,"

Sam tugged it back anyway, smiling at the wide-eyed look of surprise on Mitchell's face "he was lying," she said, the removal of the quilt having revealed Vala wearing one of Daniel's shirts and Daniel in sweatpants and t-shirt as they reflexively tensed against the chilled morning air.

"I can see that," he replied, choosing the ignore the expression of pure amusement on Teal'c's face "how did you-"

"Turn off the light," Nanith squinted and buried his face further into the pillow as Akhiyaa curled into him "s'too bright,"

"Its called daylight Daniel. I know we can do a lot of really amazing things but I don't we can turn off the sun," Cam smiled in both mirth and sympathy.

Akhiyaa rested her head on the pillow mere inches from Nanith's face "I believe the substance we drank last night-" she ran her hand through silky hair, coming to rest at the back of his head.

"Beer. The woman in the market house called it beer," he winced at the pain his pounding head.

"It was potent,"

Both their voices smooth and soft, barely audible to the other three people in the room, except the occasional piece "market house?" Cam mouthed at Sam who although recognising what it meant was a little confused as to why the liquor store would be called such a thing.

"It is time for you to get up," Teal'c announced.

Curled together in a tight ball in the centre of the bed two heads shook violently then stopped when it caused yet more discomfort.

Taking control of the situation Cam clapped his hands together "come on sleepyheads, time to get up,"

"Leave us," Akhiyaa answered him, her nose wrinkled in disgust "we are in great pain,"

"Nothing a cup of coffee won't cure," getting increasingly more disturbed when it did not serve to rouse Daniel any further, he turned to Sam "maybe we need to get them to the infirmary,"

Sam nodded her agreement "General Landry is waiting for us,"

"We do not care," Akhiyaa replied shortly.

"How do you know whether he cares or not?" Cam snapped at her, gesturing at Daniel.

"We love each other. United as one body and soul, like the moon and the stars, like-"

"Okay, okay," Cam cut her off, sighing "just get up. Please," he added as an afterthought.

"She said no," Daniel murmured "now as I think we have already requested. Leave,"

"There's definitely something wrong with them," Cam surmised, mentally smacking himself in the head at stating something so obvious.

Strangled exclamations of surprise broke through Cam's self rebuttal and he raised his head to see Teal'c, Vala under one arm and Daniel under the other as he strode purposefully towards the bathroom.

He dropped them both unceremoniously in the shower and turned on the water, soaking their clothing in mere seconds.

He left promptly "I have found a shower can be a most effective way of awakening,"

Poorly masked matching smirks met his eyes and he smiled at them, all thoughts of amusement faded when giggles erupted from the room followed by splashing and Vala's squeals of delight.

* * *

"Nothing" Carolyn reported.

"What do you mean nothing? There has to be something wrong with them!" Cam cried in disbelieve at the doctor's prognosis.

"Well if there is I can't find it" her arms folded neatly across her chest and she fixed him with an expectant look "their blood alcohol is up by a mere minority, it should be back to normal by mid afternoon providing they both have lunch,"

"Are you sure you can't find anything?" Sam proceeded in the questioning as Cam turned, throwing his arms above his head in exasperation.

"As I've just told Colonel Mitchell, and I said yesterday, there is nothing medically wrong with either Doctor Jackson or Vala," she seemed slightly exhausted with repeating herself.

"Do you not see that their behaviour is most abnormal?" Teal'c fixed his steady glare on Daniel and Vala who desisted in their flirtatious activities until he turned his head to Carolyn once more.

"I'm not saying there isn't something strange going on with them but I there is nothing that I can treat them for." She tucked a stray lock of hair back behind her ear, her ponytail flicking in irritation the only indication that she was as disturbed by this as the rest of them.

"Isolation," Cam turned back round, explaining "we put them in one of the isolation rooms until we can sort this out,"

"I'll see what I can do," no sooner had she finished than Landry entered briskly.

"Do it. Mitchell, Carter, Teal'c? Get to the bottom of this.

* * *

"Let us out of here!" Nanith screamed at the device that he had searched Daniel's mind for the name off and found rather quickly.

"Nanith," Akhiyaa breathed, tearfully "why do they lock us up like wild beasts and traders? We have do no harm,"

Nanith jumped from the chair he had placed nearer to the camera and rushed over to her, arms open as she dived to his chest "we do their friends good not bad," she rested her head against his shoulder as his arms enfolded her frame in a tight embrace.

"My love I do not know why they have acted like this. I vow we leave," he stroked her hair gently, twirling the curls around his fingers idly.

"Now?" She gazed up at him with pleading eyes, pulling away.

"We shall," he whispered, getting to his feet and rapping curtly on the door.

"Doctor Jackson," the airman addressed him.

"I wish to use the facilities," he said politely, arms behind his back.

The airman unlocked the door and before he could open it even half way a fist smashed into his face, collapsing to his knees another blow fell to his back.

Akhiyaa laughed in delight and clapped her hands, bouncing on the balls of her feet as another airman came running and received a well delivered hit to the stomach before Nanith seized Akhiyaa's hand and they slipped from the room.


	4. Shatter

Chapter 4: Shatter

The alarms howled and the lights flashed, the corridors of the SGC illuminated by bright red lights "security breach!" an airman near the surface called through the com _"we have a security breach! Doctor Jackson and Vala have left the mountain, repeat, Doctor Jackson and Vala have left the mountain!"_

Nanith laughed as he pulled Akhiyaa behind a tree with him, pressing her body to his chest and peering round the trunk, breathless "we should not have succeeded!" he exclaimed in a whisper, tucking a loose lock of dark hair behind Akhiyaa's ear gently.

"We should not, the warriors here are not as strong as they look," Akhiyaa replied, a finger was pressed to her lips before she could continue.

"Hush my love, you must not say such things, the warriors here are strong but they trust this man, to greatly, they were not anticipating an attack from us,"

Akhiyaa nodded her ascent "I am sorry Nanith – we must go! They will find us here!" she stepped out a fraction as she heard orders and commands being called out through the foliage, Nanith pulled her back.

"We must,"

* * *

"They escaped?" Cam was incredulous "how did they escape?" 

"There were guards posted on their door – airmen on the surface should have been able to stop them, they were notified of Daniel and Vala's temporary grounding," Sam put across, leaning forward on to the table, as Cam slumped further into his.

"They are no threat to this world are they?" Teal'c pointed out serenely.

"Unless you count their lack of a problem with performing public peep shows then no," Cam replied, glancing at Teal'c who stood at his shoulder, hands clasped behind his back.

"There has to be something wrong with them,"

Cam looked at her.

"I mean, they aren't even behaving remotely like the Daniel and Vala I know, the way they talk… their mannerisms its as if they're-" she got to her feet, Cam following suit as General Landry entered her lab.

"How did this happen?" he demanded, nodding for them to take their seats again.

Cam got comfortable once more "I have no idea sir,"

"Perhaps we should return to PK6-254 and question the locals concerning this matter," Teal'c suggested looking at Landry with calm integrity.

Landry nodded "you leave in one hour – is that enough time Colonel Carter?"

"Yes sir,"

"What about it happening to us sir?" Cam pointed out in recollection of the General's refusal to permit their return and his reasoning.

Landry looked at him "be careful," was his only reply.

* * *

Nanith's eyes widened at the bustle of the town centre, men, woman and children rushing back and forth, in and out of shops, laden with bags and boxes of everything from books to groceries. 

Akhiyaa clapped her hands with glee, bouncing on the balls of her feet, only stopping when the barking of a large dog tore through her excitement, leaping behind Nanith with a squeal of terror.

Nanith's eyes narrowed and he glowered at the dog, his gaze jerking up when the owner, a young man spoke.

"I'm sorry lady, he won't hurt ya, just gets excited s'all," he gave the duo and wary look when neither spoke just fixed stares on him, he walked on, quickening his pace muttering about 'crazy ass people'

Nanith turned around, "Are you all right my love?" he crooned softly.

Akhiyaa nodded, allowing him to guide her head to his chest and hold her there tightly "we do not have those beasts on our world," she murmured.

"We do not," he agreed, pulling away and cradling her face in his hands, planting a chaste kiss on her forehead "but I will protect you from any more we should come across,"

"I love you," she breathed, wrapping her arms round his torso and hugging him, her mood brightened however when she caught sight of something in the window across the street "look! Nanith my darling look!"

Nanith whirled round, smiling at the dress in the window "it is most attractive," he conceded.

"I want it Nanith, please, I want it!" she sounded so elated by the prospect of owning such an item of clothing Nanith laughed and nodded his consent.

* * *

"Chevron six encoded… Chevron seven… locked!" Walter's voice filled the gate room as Cam clipped his P-90 to his vest, one hand holding it there he watched as the wormhole formed, the walls glowing blue for a moment from the light emitted by the kawoosh. 

"Good luck SG1," Landry said, watching the trio stood at the bottom of the ramp.

"Yes sir," Cam gave an off-hand salute and walked up the ramp, Sam and Teal'c on his heels.

The planet looked the same as they had left it, and Amina and her people came rushing forth greeting them happily. "You have returned!" she exclaimed as Cam extricated himself from the centre of the cocoon of villagers he had been sandwiched in, checking to see Sam and Teal'c were managing to do the same thing he turned back to her.

"Yeah we have," Cam said, giving the disgruntled villagers a warning look "we need to talk,"

"Where is Daniel and Vala?" she queried, a frown creasing her prefect features, her hands clasped together in front of her rested against her petticoat.

"That is what we wish to talk to you about Amina," Teal'c answered.

Amina's frown deepened "what is wrong with them? Are the sick?"

Mitchell glanced at Sam who replied "no, no they're not sick they're just… is there somewhere we can talk in private?"

"There is my dwelling, 'tis not far, come," she started off down a path slightly to the left of the market place. SG1 followed.

* * *

"Can I help you sir?" the shop assistant was smartly dressed and polite, wearing a smile that seemed to be genuine. 

"My lady requires that dress," he pointed "if you would be so kind as to retrieve it for us,"

"I see," he said "a fine choice if I may say so sir, if you could go with Lola miss she'll see what we have,"

Akhiyaa took the hand Lola offered her quietly, Nanith went to follow "oh no sir" Lola said "it's bad luck for a husband to see his bride in her dress before the wedding," her eyes reflecting the broadening of her grin.

"I shall wait here then," Nanith said gesturing to the shop floor "until you return,"

* * *

"Make yourselves comfortable," Amina said, stoking an already lit fire. 

Teal'c raised an eyebrow and looked disdainfully around for a moment, the seats too small and too low for him to sit comfortably. He continued to stand as his comrades tentatively sat on rickety wicker chairs that looked as if they were break any moment. Cam grappled at the table as his chair wobbled a little.

Amina stood in front of the fireplace, smiling still "what seems to be the problem?"

Sam glanced at Mitchell "Daniel and Vala… they aren't exactly behaving as they usually would,"

"What do you mean? They seemed most content upon your departure only one night ago," confusion tainted her voice.

"That's our point," Sam said hesitantly "they don't normally act like that,"

"They appeared to be happy," a knowing smile flitted across her face "perhaps it is love,"

"Jackson and Vala are not in love," Cam said certainly then to Sam "are they?" all he got was an equally confused look "I don't think they are," he turned back to Amina.

"What you think and what is are completely different things. You think we are strange when on this world you are the strange ones. Daniel and Vala may have not realised before so you had no reason to believe it either. I could see from your arrival they have a deep emotional attachment to one another," Amina's voice was low, the shadows the flickering fire created highlighting her face.

* * *

By the time Lola and Akhiyaa came back through the male shop assistant had disappeared, where to Nanith had not paid attention too, preferring to peruse the pockets of the jeans he had put on back at Daniel's apartment. His and Akhiyaa's refusal to wear the BDUs they had had been a battle easily forgotten when they were put in the holding cell shortly after arriving at the base. 

The wallet the jeans had in one of the back pockets, held multiple cards and he pulled one out immediately as Lola returned with the dress boxed up carefully. Before she even had a chance to tell him the amount he thrust the card out to her "I do not care how much," he told her when she tried again, she shrugged and handed him back his card and receipt after a moment.

"Congratulations," she said cheerily as Akhiyaa picked up the box and both her and Nanith left with carefully returned waves.

"Bride?" Akhiyaa said "are we too wed Nanith?" she was breathless with excitement.

"Do you wish it so?" he replied in all seriousness.

"Oh yes let's! Let us wed Nanith! Let us be bound as one for eternity!"

"Then it shall be so,"

"But where should such a ceremony take place? This world is so different to our own and I do not believe that my host, Vala, knows much of this place either,"

"She is from another world too?"

"She is," Akhiyaa confirmed "but the ceremony! The union! Where shall it be performed?"

"A place of worship," Nanith replied "Daniel… a place of worship is where sacred unions are performed here,"

* * *

Amina's eyes twinkled a moment, a glow of a blue barely, noticeable laced her dark iris' Cam jerked back in his seat "what the hell…?" 

"Colonel Mitchell what is wrong?" Teal'c glanced at him.

"Her… she… what the hell are you?" he scrambled to his feet "Carter, Teal'c did you see it?"

"See what?" Sam said, glancing from Amina who looked as shocked as she felt and then to Cam "what's wrong?"

"Her eyes… they glowed!"

Sam frowned "I don't think-"

Cam shook his head and gave no vocal reply "what are you?" the safety catch slid from his P-90 quickly and he held it poised in front of him.

Amina's eyes turned completely blue again, only they stayed and Sam and Teal'c held their weapons ready, "I mean you no harm," she said, her voice intense and yet still holding a sense of innocence.

"What are you?" Sam stood next to Cam who glanced only briefly at her.

"I am Amina of the-"

"I'm gonna cut to the chase here," Cam said slowly "I'm gonna ask you straight up and I want a straight answer; what has happened to Daniel and Vala?"

Amina's entire stature changed, she seemed less cheery, more desperate, her body held in a different manner, more pleading, even tense. Her eyes returned to normal and her voice became higher, begging "they had no choice" tears began down her face, salty water trickling over her rosy cheeks "they had no choice,"

"What do you mean; they had no choice?" Sam shifted her feet, and squared her shoulders, her finger deadly still over the trigger of her gun.

"The old ones… they died, my siblings needed new hosts!"

"Hosts!" Cam exclaimed "hosts?"

"Please," Amina wept, "please do not hurt me! I mean you no harm! My people mean you no harm! _We_ mean you no harm!" she curled into herself, doubling over as if in great pain. Stepping back and Sam automatically released one hand from her weapon and seized the elbow of the trembling woman, pulling her away from the greedy flames of the fireplace.

Teal'c lowered his zat gun as Sam guided Amina to a chair, Cam, reluctantly, also lowered his weapon.

"Tell us exactly what has happened to Daniel and Vala," Sam said stepping away from Amina to a safer distance, even if the alien woman was not dangerous regarding this revelation she did not want to risk it.

"The old ones-"

"From the beginning," Cam cut her off "start with what you are,"

"We are the Katar," Amina replied "slaves of the Goau'ld for centuries, we were spies, we could use the knowledge of the hosts, their thoughts and emotions were not accessible to us but memory was a resource we could– we are a peaceful people! We mean no harm-"

Sam held up her hand "we know you don't want to hurt us," she comforted her, crouching down in front of Amina "just tell us the rest. Which Goau'ld was it?"

"The system lord Yu. He left us many years ago, he trapped us in the vatish'ka for we knew to much about his plans, and we found a way to release ourselves very soon after his departure,"

"We?"

"My people," Amina looked at Cam as she answered "we were weak and could not keep our corporeal forms,"

"Corporeal?" Sam asked.

"We had the ability to shift in and out of phases, to change our forms, when we grew weak or injured we could not maintain a physical place and so we needed something which we could sustain and they could sustain us. Our time in the Goau'ld's enslavement changed us, we could no longer heal ourselves as we had once been able too,"

"How did they do that?" Cam looked at Carter.

She shrugged "presumably they could rearrange their bodies on a cellular level, permitting them to change the way they looked and when they wanted to shift phase they simply separated the cells by a minute fraction which allowed them to become part of their surroundings,"

"The villagers travelled through the circle during the period of time in which we were attempting to vacate the vatish'ka and many were sick. Their previous dwelling had become uninhabitable. We offered them hope,"

"You spoke with them?"

Amina shook her head "we became part of them,"

Cam looked once more to Sam at this cryptic answer "they scrambled their molecules and those of the villagers so effectively instead of phasing normally they-"

Cam nodded "so all those people out there, they're possessed by you guys? You didn't even talk to them first, just hijacked their bodies?"

"They needed help, we offered sanctuary, we can heal them and together we live as a joined unity of hope and love and of strength,"

"Leave them. This people, they-"

"We cannot,"

"Why not?"

"Our…" she looked at Sam, sounding out the word "molecules," she turned back to Mitchell "they have interlocked. They will die and so will we should we ever separate,"

"What happened to Daniel Jackson and Vala Maldoran?" Teal'c put the conversation back on track.

"The old ones, two of the elders of the village, they were Haayth's parents and the hosts died two full moons ago, far sooner than we anticipated, there will not be any babes for many, many months yet. The vatish'ka sustained Nanith and Akhiyaa for a time, they would not have survived much longer without the aid of another host. When Daniel and Vala went in to the town archives… the vatish'ka is stored there,"

"Well how do we get…" he looked at Sam.

"Nanith and Akhiyaa,"

He nodded in her direction "too leave Jackson and Vala and let us go on our merry way?"

"You must not! Nanith and Akhiyaa will die!" Amina jumped to her feet but sat down once more when Teal'c raised his still powered up zat.

"So they haven't 'interlocked' yet then?"

"You must not, you must not, you must not!"

"We must" Cam corrected her "now how do we get them out?"

"Nanith and Akhiyaa, they need-"

"Amina," Sam's voice was soft "Nanith and Akhiyaa, they may not mean anyone any harm but they are hurting people,"

"No! They are peaceful! They will heal! Daniel and Vala need them!"

"Why?" Teal'c's arm did not falter.

Amina ignored him "please do not kill them," she whimpered "do not kill my family!"

"We need Daniel and Vala back, just put Nanith and Akhiyaa back in the vatish'ka,"

"They will not survive it," fresh tears fell.

"How long before it's too late?" Sam asked.

Amina gazed at her "when the sun has set and risen high once more the process is complete," she whimpered "they will not leave your friends, they need them,"

"Amina you must understand why"

"They will die!" she cried.

"We are sorry about that,"

Amina sniffed and dabbed her eyes with a corner of her petticoat "return your friends, I will speak to my siblings,"

_Author's Notes: This was supposed to be a lot longer but as it's already hit eight pages and there was still a fair bit to go I figured I should split it :)__ Please Review. _


	5. Holy Matrimony

Chapter 5: Holy Matrimony

"Receiving SG1's IDC sir," Walter reported as the blue light flickered on the wall opposing the control room, the iris blocking the full extent of it's rays across the room.

"Open the iris," Landry ordered, making his way back down to the gate room to greet earth's premier defence team.

He did not speak as the wormhole deactivated behind the team and they came to stand in front of him, his expectant look gave them all the prompting they needed.

"It's a long story-" Cam was cut short.

"It seems Daniel Jackson and Vala Maldoran have been possessed by once-slaves of a Goau'ld system lord," Teal'c corrected calmly.

"-That's apparently not that long," he continued, giving the jaffa a disdainful look "any luck in finding them?"

"None yet" Landry said "we'll debrief in an hour,"

* * *

"A place of worship? A temple?" Akhiyaa asked curiously.

"Yes," Nanith replied "there is one not far from here apparently,"

"Then let us go! Let us be wed!" she exclaimed, her hold on the box containing her dress vice-like.

"Come!"

* * *

Cam jumped from the infirmary bed as Carolyn finished her exam, tucking his t-shirt back into his pants and pulling on his jacket "we good to go?"

"We are," Teal'c replied.

"Let's go then," he led the way from the infirmary to the briefing room.

"Colonel Mitchell, Colonel Carter, Teal'c," he nodded their entrance as he came from his office to take his seat "what did you find?"

Cam opened his mouth to explain came up short and turned to Sam who gave him a half-grimace but took on the role.

"Yu-"

"The system lord?"

"Yes sir. He enslaved a race called the Katar, their abilities to scramble their very beings on a cellular level meant that they could change the way they looked and infiltrate Yu's enemies and retrieve any information that would be of use to them." She paused to see how best to shorten the tale without missing anything of any importance out.

Landry nodded at her to continue.

"When Yu lost his need for them, they were past the point where they could regenerate, and heal themselves and so their molecules stayed separated. Preventing them from being entirely corporeal, they were at the point where they hadn't phased into their surroundings completely but were unable to eliminate the gap between each molecule. The device, the vatish'ka, that Yu had trapped them in sustained them only for a short time, fortunately for them the villagers we met on PK6-254 came through the Stargate, they scrambled their molecules even further and that of the villagers so they could blend together-"

"Without the villager's consent I might add," Cam pointed out, raising a finger and looking suitably disapproving.

Sam nodded at him "Now. Two of the…" she paused, searching for a better word and failing she used it anyway "hosts, died two months ago, the Katar that were in them were returned to the vatish'ka, because there were no offspring for them to join with-"

"This device… where is it?" Landry queried, absorbing the information with the same degree of acceptance, as he did everything else he had come to learn was normal everyday activity for those employed within the Stargate Program.

"Apparently it is stored in town archives. When Jackson and Vala went in there…" Cam waved his hands in a way that completed his sentence without need for verbal confirmation.

"So how do we get these…"

"Nanith and Akhiyaa," Sam supplied.

"Out of our people?"

"Amina wants us to take them back to the planet where she'll talk to Nanith and Akhiyaa and try and get them to leave," Cam answered, wincing at the reality of the term 'try'

"Try?"

"Sir," Sam started "After midday tomorrow they can't be separated,"

"Then let's make sure we get them found before then," Landry got to his feet.

"Yes sir," Carter and Mitchell agreed in unison.

* * *

Akhiyaa wrinkled her nose, pressing herself up against Nanith's body "I do not like the smell of this place," she said, glancing around the church with wide eyes, the stained glass windows bright and colourful in the afternoon sunlight that filtered through the panes.

"Excuse me," Nanith strolled over to a man in flowing robes stood by the altar.

The man turned "Yes my son?" he said, one hand held flat to his stomach as he inclined his head politely.

"My lady and I wish to wed," he announced proudly.

The vicar smiled brightly as Akhiyaa nodded her agreement with much enthusiasm "when?" he asked politely.

"Now!" Akhiyaa cried with childish glee "oh please now! Now! Now! Now!"

The vicar's eyes widened "do you not have friends… family that you wish to attend?"

Nanith considered it a moment "no" he replied slowly "I do not believe so"

"You will need witnesses," a slight increase in the number of creases on his forehead were the only indication of his possible surprise at the request.

Akhiyaa cocked her head to one side, still clutching the box tightly, hugging it to her body as she stood as close as was possible without actually bringing herself into physical contact with her lover.

Nanith looked around, moving briskly to a couple in the third pew from the back. "Excuse me," he whispered, they raised their heads from prayer and looked at him "thank you – would you be willing to…" he glanced back at the vicar and Akhiyaa, both of which were watching him intently. Akhiyaa tense with excitement and the vicar, hands clutched together in front of him as he surveyed him with wide, shocked eyes "witness our wedding?"

They got to their feet, "name's Bernie mate," the elderly man seized Nanith's and shook it heartily "this be m' wife; Dolly!" his eyes an electric blue so light they were almost white "ah'd be honoured if ya'd let us!"

The vicar's eyes nearly popped out of his head; this man had charm!

"Aww don't be silly Bernie!" her accent strong and her words slightly slurred together as if her voice reflected her age. "Ma name's Dolores," she gave her husband a reproachful look; she barely reached his shoulder "silly ol' fool calls me tha' all th' time; can't never get the silly bugger to stop!"

"So you will witness?" he straightened, practically glowing joy.

"Ah course we will! Handsome young thing like you? Lov' ta!" Dolores looked round "now where be tha' …oh my!" she laid eyes on Akhiyaa as she hopped from one delighted foot to the other "she's gorgeous!" Dolores scurried past, her joints stiff and barely co-operative but as is always proven; determination is the key "here lovey," she placed a cold, vein-roped hand on Akhiyaa's smoother, younger one "let's get you all prettied up, gonna look even more like an angel when I be done with ya',"

Akhiyaa permitted the frail old lady to take her through a door near the back, closing it with a click; it was barely a moment before she bumbled out again. Snatching her purse from Bernie, handing him a handful of notes with direct orders to 'trot along to the corner shop and get a nice bouquet' she went back into the room, leaving an elated Nanith and a rather overwhelmed vicar to prepare themselves.

* * *

Bernie sat in the front pew, the bouquet of flowers he'd been ordered to get, lay in his lap untouched. The vicar stood at the front of the church, looking considerably calmer than he had twenty minutes ago but none the less confused.

Dolores peeked out of the room, squeaked loudly and hurtled out… Coming to a screeching halt in front of Nanith, clucking low in her throat she produced a comb from her purse and deftly ran it through his hair, straightening his jacket. "Ya'll have to do," she mumbled to herself, she rapped sharply on the door of the room Akhiyaa was in "ya can come out now lovey," she then took her seat by Bernie, who got to his feet as she did so, bouquet in his hands.

Nanith grinned broadly as Akhiyaa came out of the room, a flowing white gown, embroidered in patterns and beads adorning it, it sparkled in the multicoloured lights from the windows. Bernie passed the flowers to Akhiyaa with a charming grin "you look beautiful," he assured her softly, earning himself a thwap on the arm from Dolores and a muttered;

"Course she does, ya pig, I dressed her!" she admired with scrutiny the ornate pile of curls she had piled on top of Akhiyaa's head holding it fast using a pack of new hairpins from her purse.

The vicar cleared his throat as Akhiyaa came to stand next to her husband-to-be "do you have rings?" he asked.

Akhiyaa's eyes widened "we do not!"

As Nanith's eyes flitted around the room, the vicar capitulated, in fear of what he would manage to produce in place of them "it doesn't matter" he added, "they're just symbolic," he cleared his throat again. "We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of these two people, does anyone have any objections as to why these two should not be wed?"

A brief pause.

He took a breath "do you…?"

"Nanith" he offered, then gesturing to his partner "and she is Akhiyaa"

"Do you, Nanith, take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife. To love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, 'til death do you part?"

Another pause.

"Sir?" The vicar prompted.

Nanith's brow furrowed.

"Say I do!" Dolores called.

Nanith smiled "I do," he echoed proudly, rocking on his heels once.

The vicar raised an eyebrow before proceeding "do you… Akhiyaa," he tested the word "take this man to be your lawful wedded husband. To love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer 'til death do you part?"

"I do," she replied abruptly.

"I then now pronounce you man and wife," he sighed in relief "you may now kiss the bride,"

* * *

"What'd you mean you still can't find them?" Cam exclaimed hotly.

"I mean sir," the lieutenant replied "that we've checked the base twice and they are definitely not here, the search extended to topside about two hours ago and is just extending towards town. No one claims to have seen them sir,"

Cam sighed, stepping away from the young man reporting to him and leaning against the wall heavily, exasperated.

"Sir?"

Cam turned around "yes lieutenant,"

"With all due respect sir; Doctor Jackson and Miss Maldoran… they're not hostile…"

"That doesn't mean we don't need to find them pronto," he snapped.

"Yes sir, sorry sir," the lieutenant "I'll see about quickening the search," he departed far more hastily than he had entered.

"Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c said "would it not be prudent if we were to join the search party?"

Cam shook his head "Landry wants to keep us on base; he and Doc Lam say they can't be certain we haven't been… infected… yet,"

Teal'c indicated his acknowledgement.

* * *

Nanith smiled, Bernie and Dolores had kindly offered them a ride back to his host's home, Akhiyaa sat next to him, her head on his shoulder as she dozed contentedly, her fingers intertwined with his and the rested against his abdomen. As the car pulled to a halt Akhiyaa jerked awake.

"Where are we?" she murmured.

Nanith smoothed down her hair "we are at the apartment my love" he breathed, stroking her face with two fingers "are you well?"

She nodded "I am,"

He opened the car door and both of them slid out, they made their way to the building, Dolores crying out as they hit the entrance made them stop "yes?" Nanith queried politely.

"Ya mus' carry her!" Dolores said, rushing out of the car and over to the newly weds.

"Carry?"

Dolores clucked her tongue "here," she took Akhiyaa's hands "dearie you're catching a chill my love!" and wrapped her arms around Nanith's neck "now," she looked at him. "I want ya t' put one arm 'neath 'er knees and one at th' small o' her back," her head bobbed up and down "that's it, that's it," she said once Akhiyaa was safely ensconced in Nanith's embrace.

"Dolly leave 'em be! Th'y deserve some peace and quie'!" Bernie hollered from the car.

"Oh hush up Bernie!" Dolores scolded him "now where be ya keys babe?" she said already searching Nanith's pockets and drawing the items loose before he could even answer.

"Follow me, follow me," she held open the door and Akhiyaa giggled girlishly as Nanith stepped inside and followed the meddlesome old woman as she scampered away.


	6. Homebound

_Author's Notes: If any of you have this story on alert you may have received multiple emails telling you about updates. I'm sorry about that; I was revamping the previous chapters, mostly grammatical errors that I only notice after I uploaded the thing lol. If there are any more mistakes I notice I will edit them and sort them out as soon as is possible :) Thanks to all who have reviewed!_

Chapter 6: Homebound.

"Why have we returned here?" Teal'c questioned "surely the other search teams will have already checked Daniel Jackson's home,"

Cam opened the car door and got out, shutting it loudly as Teal'c followed suit, "no harm in checking again," Cam said.

Teal'c accepted his reasoning, General Landry had permitted that they leave the base after he had been convinced that they were really the people they said they were, and Sam had taken the town centre leading one of the other teams.

It was late afternoon and the sun was staining the few clouds in the sky with a golden hue as they once more began the journey up to Daniel's apartment.

Cam knocked on the door and received no response, much like the last time they had been there; he only hoped they were in the same state of dress if not more as then also.

Teal'c opened the door, letting them both easily into the unlocked apartment, curtains remained open, but no lights were on, no sound could be heard and the general state of the place the same it had been that morning. "Nanith," he called "Akhiyaa," no response. "Daniel Jackson, Vala Maldoran," he tried, raising his eyebrow when Cam made a strange noise of disapproval and made a beeline for the open bedroom door.

"Bingo" Cam muttered, seeing the two figures curled together in the middle of the bed, sound asleep. He reached for the radio in the pocket of his jeans "Search team alpha this is Mitchell, do you read?"

A crackled reply came through "Carter, go ahead,"

"We've got them Sam,"

"Where are you?" she asked.

" Jackson's apartment,"

"I'll let the other teams know, I'll meet you there as soon as I can, Carter out"

Cam pocketed the radio again "now to wake 'em," he took a readying breath.

* * *

"I do not know what you speak of," Nanith insisted, sat up in the bed shirtless, sheets pooled in his lap. 

"We know what you are," Cam said slowly "now come with us,"

"We will not!" Akhiyaa cried, "We are content here!"

"You can't just take control of someone else's bodies because you feel like it,"

"We need them," Nanith explained softly "we do not do harm,"

"You attacked two of our men!"

Sam looked at him then back at Nanith and Akhiyaa "please, just let us return you to your planet, we need Daniel and Vala back,"

Akhiyaa shook her head "we cannot return them too you,"

"No I know that's bull," Cam said, contemplating for just a second the pros of knocking them both over the head and forcibly returning them to their planet.

"If we do, we will die," Nanith said in all seriousness.

Sam took a breath, glanced at Teal'c then back at Nanith "we know that,"

"You wish to kill us?" he exclaimed "when we have not hurt you in any way?"

"We know what you are; we know what you've done to the villagers,"

"My siblings have given them life! We are their salvation!" he would not be so easily swayed.

"Please" Sam tried, her voice soft and her eyes sincere "please,"

Akhiyaa began shaking her head vehemently, biting her lower lip as tears overflowed, clutching desperately at her new husband with a death grip "do not ask this of us, do not, do not!"

Nanith closed his eyes and nodded his head stiffly "we will return with you"

"No!" Akhiyaa howled, "Nanith do not do this! Do not do this!"

"We must return home Akhiyaa, we must speak to our siblings," he soothed her cries with a tender touch to the side of her head.

For a moment it was easy, for a moment it wasn't aliens before them. For a moment it was just Daniel and Vala. Sam could see a tenderness in his eyes she had not seen so powerful since Sha're, a smile gracing his lips with such passion in it she was fooled by the power of the Katar. That this was her friends not two strangers from another world.

She smiled encouragingly at them, hoping that the simple action could convey the sympathy she could feel. Yes she wanted them back, both Daniel and Vala, but she could feel the tendrils of empathy making their way into her heart, Nanith and Akhiyaa had only done what they thought they had too, they loved each other, loved each other in a way she almost envied.

* * *

The gate sprang to life in front of them, Nanith and Akhiyaa dressed in the military issue fatigues that they had been instructed to dress in and neither had done so without protesting loudly. 

Landry could think of nothing to say as SG1 began their way up the ramp and through the 'gate and so simply watched, conveying a silent message of 'good luck' to the team as the gate closed behind them.

* * *

"Amina!" Nanith cried, arms open wide as the woman came rushing for the 'gate, her skirts gathered in her arms, she dropped them abruptly and threw her arms round her brother's neck "you are well?" 

"Very much so Nanith" she squeezed him tightly before releasing him "you know why these people insist upon your return?" her tone took on a candid air, faint lines at the corners of her eyes became more prominent and she looked entirely fatigued.

"I do. We must explain to them the consequences of our-" even though he had heard what they wanted to do already he had to be sure, the suggestion they were making was proposterous, it was insane... it was... it was...

Amina raised a hand "they know Nanith," she said softly.

"They know of our fate should we to do as they request?" his brows knitted together, his eyes narrowing, and his arm around Akhiyaa's waist tightening reflexively.

"Nanith, your hosts have friends, their friends need them back,"

Nanith shook his head "no," he was firm and his voice steady.

"Look Nanith-" Cam started, taken aback at the furious look he was given.

"We will not die! We deserve to live!"

"No more than Daniel Jackson and Vala Maldoran do," Teal'c's voice was precariously low, Nanith took no heed.

"We were enslaved for centuries! We have the right to live!"

"No!" Sam exclaimed, sympathy draining far faster than it had crept it's way in "no more than anyone else,"

"Do you not see?" Akhiyaa trembled, pressing herself so close to Nanith it was as if she were trying to share his skin "we cannot survive without our hosts, we cannot"

"What is going on?" Haayth called, cheery in his brightening way, eyes twinkling, arms thrown open in greeting, he came to a halt in front of the team "what is wrong?"

"Nanith and Akhiyaa have combined with their friends, Haayth," Amina explained, eyes downcast "and they are requesting that they leave,"

"We cannot!" Akhiyaa's voice was shrill and high pitched, Cam winced and clapped a hand to his ear in response, Haayth wrinkled his nose in discomfort before raising any eyebrow.

"Mother" he said softly.

Akhiyaa fixed her gaze on him "your time has passed," he was sad, that much was obvious.

"No," Nanith said firmly "you must not ask this of us,"

Haayth sighed "Father you love my mother, correct?"

Nanith scowled "of course," he replied, Akhiyaa once more moving closer "true love is like-"

Haayth raised his hand to silence them "you died many months ago," he stated "you taught me to teach others as to what is the right thing to do, that love is more powerful than anything else. That sometimes you must forsake your own wishes to help others," he paused, ignoring everyone but his parents "this pair, this couple you have chosen… they have friends and families that need them… that love them. You have had your time father; do you not believe they should have theirs also?"

Nanith let the words sink in, they held much truth, echoed from his own words of wisdom many a year ago "very well" he breathed, hugging Akhiyaa to his chest as she broke into anguished sobs, sinking to his knees, the woman in his arms "my love… my darling… we can still be together…"

"'tis not the same Nanith!" she wept "'my love, my love…"

"The afterlife holds many, many things for us, these people deserve freedom," he kissed away the tears that fell as quickly as they slipped down her perfectly sculpted cheeks, "do not weep my darling, we have done great things for our kind, let us permit these people attempt the same for their race,"

Akhiyaa nodded, eyes squeezed shut, sheltering herself in an embrace she would sorely miss "I love you," she whispered "I love you, I love you, I love you…" a mantra, a prayer repeated again and again by two voices in a unified whisper, clinging to each other before darkness crept forth and there was nothing.

* * *

All he could think about was the almighty pain in his head. What the hell had happened? Where was he… steady beeping, acrid smell of disinfectant and… oh how could he forget? He thought sarcastically, infirmary. 

The soft buzz of voices only caused the drum beat in his head to intensify; he opened his mouth to speak only his throat was too dry for anything other than a moan to escape as he moved to attempt to sit up, failing miserably.

"Daniel!" Sam exclaimed, rushing to her friend's bedside once more, a glass of water in her hand instantly, pressing it to his lips, he gulped the refreshing liquid greedily, regretting his haste as a wave of dizziness hit.

"Easy," Carolyn soothed as he collapsed against the pillows again, slightly breathless, images swimming in and out of focus as he swallowed and forced them back.

"What happened?" he said once he regained control of his voice, reaching on instinct for his glasses which were pressed into his hand by Sam the second he flexed his fingers to move for them.

Each of his team mates and Carolyn shared a look "uh…"

He sighed and closed his eyes for a second, then opened them again, replacing his glasses as he looked at each of the people staring at him in turn.

"You were possessed," Cam jammed his hands into his pockets "cliff notes version, as was Vala,"

Daniel nodded "how long?" he said, wincing as his headache began to double.

"Just over twenty four hours," Sam answered " you were unconscious for another fifteen"

As if guessing his next question, Cam said "its 0830,"

Fifteen hours… he'd been unconscious for fifteen hours, and possessed by an alien before that… "Vala?" he asked breathlessly.

"She awoke approximately an hour before you did Daniel Jackson;" Teal'c replied "she is well,"

"Is she here?"

Cam bit back a smile "she's asleep again,"

"As should you be Doctor Jackson," Carolyn said, needle in her hand "I'm going to give you some more painkillers," she inserted the needle into the IV line.

"I just…" he trailed off as he succumbed to the exhaustion he could feel tugging at him and the drug took affect as he once more slipped into slumber.

"Is he okay then?" Cam turned to Carolyn who nodded and to his surprise replied;

"Everything looks good, providing both he and Vala have significantly improved when they wake up, I should be able to discharge them both tonight, although more probably tomorrow morning,"


	7. Familial Responses

_Author's Notes: I was gonna wait 'til at least tomorrow to update this but I thought it wouldn't harm to update now would it? lol. Also I'd like to say; if you're going to review a fiction by me or anyone else then review it don't use it as somewhere to post infomercials with no reference to the stories, yes I understand what you want to do and am as much appalled at the cancelling of SG1 as the next person, but it's not helpful, nor what this site is for. Thank You._

Chapter 7: Familial Responses.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c smiled slightly in greeting to his friend "are you feeling better?"

"Yeah thanks Teal'c," he replied absently, mind racing but trying to harness it so as to concentrate on the contents of the files under his arm; copies of the strange script he and Vala had found on PK6-254.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow at the mug off coffee in his hand "Doctor Lam has permitted you leave the infirmary?"

Daniel nodded "last night. She wasn't too pleased but I promised her I'd take it easy," he flashed a tight smile hoping it didn't look as fake as it felt.

"I see," he sounded doubtful "I will see you later Daniel Jackson," he bowed his head and left the elevator as Daniel continued down another floor.

"Good morn-ing, Daniel!" Cam sing-songed, as Daniel left the elevator.

"Morning," Daniel said absently, nodding and smiling in greeting to an airman who acknowledged their passing with a casual 'good morning Doctor Jackson'

"I gotta say Jackson," Cam said as they reached another elevator and Daniel stepped into it "I expect to at least be _told_ when two members of my team decide to tie to proverbial knot," a teasing smirk on his face only served to fuel the bemused archaeologist's confusion. His mocking seemingly falling on un-informed ears he handed the large brown envelope to him as the elevator doors closed and Daniel managed to juggle his files, coffee and the envelope with only a minute amount of difficulty.

He flipped the light switch with the back of his hand before he set his mug down on his desk, along side it the files before examining the envelope at closer value, intrigued by it's appearance but it's presence not unfathomed, he received plenty of files and documents.

_Feather light touches like silk on warming skin, two bodies moving as one in perfect unison. Passion and lust thick in air he was greedy to breathe... _

His eyes widened and he shook his head, banishing the image, or rather patched memory from his head, turning the envelope over he opened the seal and pulled out the paper it pertained, a slip of paper from a legal pad gliding to the floor. Daniel picked it up, in Cam's tidy print it read; 'Landry got the names changed, Sam and Teal'c don't know yet. Congratulations!' Dread filled him and he stood, reading the paper in front of him; 'certificate of marriage' he saw emblazoned at the top of it then two names 'Daniel Jackson' and 'Vala Maldoran'

He did not get a chance to read further.

"Hey!" Sam sidled into his office smiling brightly, tapping the palm of one hand to the side of the other loosely curled one. Her eyes narrowed "Daniel?"

He slid behind his desk, taking the seat with the air of a man who took the phrase 'sit down before you fall down' seriously. He stared ahead of him as if something of great interest and fortitude had just appeared the certificate still in his hand but it was of little interest to his unnerving gaze.

"Daniel are you okay?" her voice filled with concern snapped him out of his daze.

"Huh? Oh sorry Sam. What's wrong?" his pseudo cheery smile did not pass for what he wished it too.

"I was just going to ask you that," she said sceptically, the movement of Daniel's left hand had her eyes dart in that direction "certificate of marriage!" she cried.

Daniel dropped them on his desk and shot to his feet and slammed the door almost as fast as she'd seen him move with enemy fire on their tails, he slumped against the door and looked as if he were greatly considering collapsing there and then.

Sam read the certificate and note atop the mountains of books on the desk, her jaw dropped for a second before she composed herself once more and she regained the ability to speak "married?" she sounded almost hurt.

He gave her a sarcastic look, moving back over to the desk but not taking his seat "don't worry, I would have invited you if _I'd_ actually had any knowledge at all of this happening," his tone was what O'Neill had referred to occasionally as 'snippy'

"You don't remember?" Sam asked, a crystalline stare fixating on him.

_A snow white dress, slightly tanned skin… dozens of perfect curls pinned and twisted at the crown of her head… "I do…" _

"No," he lied, ignoring his subconscious mind "I don't remember anything,"

Sam raised an eyebrow "probably a side effect of the Katar combining," she mused.

"Sam?" he prompted.

"Not only your bodies were intermingled Daniel, you're minds were as well, they had to have been for them to know so much about this base, about the programme – you,"

Silence reigned for a moment, a comfortable one but with an under tone of thought, metaphorical cogs whirring in heads as each tried to make sense of one thing or another.

"I'm married to her Sam," he breathed after a moment.

She was left speechless, several phrases wandered in and out of her head before she actually replied "yes you are," she agreed.

"This… I have to do something," he snatched up the certificate and made for the door, or at least would have had not one compassionate blonde air force colonel stood in his way "Sam," he warned.

"Have you spoken to her?" she asked softly.

"No," he replied, side stepping, she followed.

"Don't you think you ought to?"

"Why?" he paused in his escape attempts.

"She's the one you're married to"

"Not for much longer," he pushed passed her completely, tired of her game.

"Daniel!" she exclaimed in desperation as he went to open the door.

"What Sam?"

"Just… Just talk to her. Please?"

She didn't get a reply.

* * *

Married.

He was married to her, friendship was what they had, albeit a strained and unique one but nothing more right? Marriage, he'd been there and done that and he no overwhelming desire to go through it again, to tarnish sacred memories by a mistake.

Vala was pretty. He couldn't deny it, beautiful, he'd even go as far as to say she actually had the sex appeal she flaunted so freely but that didn't mean anything. It didn't mean he loved her. Being 'tricked' into marriage once was enough, and he doubted he'd be lucky enough for 'love to find its way' again.

He stopped and leant back against the wall of the corridor, eyes closed, his head once more beginning to ache and for a fraction of a second he almost regretted leaving the infirmary the night before. At least then he wouldn't have to deal with this right now but then again he'd be bound to bed rest and the nurses' incessant mothering, boredom would win the battle between it and pain and he'd only have ended up finding out later anyway.

"You okay?" Cam's voice was unnaturally loud, as if he were shouting rather than speaking as softly as Daniel knew he was.

Daniel opened his eyes and straightened again "I'm fine," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose, and then jerking his head up to stare at the Colonel "marriage certificate?"

Cam gave a wry smile "not so happy about that I see,"

Daniel frowned at him, his entire body screaming 'ya think?'

"She doesn't know yet," Cam announced suddenly "thought it might be best for you to tell her,"

Because he was so looking forward to that conversation 'hey Vala, you want my charge cards? Sure, after all we are now _married!' _"Oddly Cam, I can't bring myself to look forward to that particular conversation,"

Cam changed the subject "General Landry wants SG1 to sit in on the debriefing for SG19 they got back an hour ago from PJ7-129,"

Daniel nodded without saying anything.

"I'll see you there," Cam said, making his way back down the corridor, turning back when he was called.

"The certificates…" he let his sentence trail off.

"Some woman – Dolores I think she said her name was – caught me as we were taking… Nanith and Akhiyaa back here, said you'd left them in the car," he gave an encouraging smile, paused a moment as the words sank in then continued on his way.

Dolores… Who was Dolores?

_"Name's Bernie mate, this be m' wife; Dolly!" _

_"Aww don't be silly Bernie! Ma name's Dolores, silly ol' fool calls me tha' all th' time; can't never get the silly bugger to stop!" _

_Two people, a church, pews… a dress, a woman… "I do…" _

No dammit! This… this was insane, it was completely insane, then again, he reasoned, insane things usually did happen to him, to anyone in this place, might do him good to remember it _all _the time.

"Daniel," Sam again, touching his arm as he shook himself free of the whirlpool of strong accented voices and disjointed images.

"I'm fine," he breathed, smiling weakly at her "I'm fine,"

* * *

"The indigenous peoples of the planet were very willing to share their knowledge sir…" the voice of the Major was low and monotonous, never faltering.

Daniel closed his eyes, the pull of his headache forcing the lids to fall no matter how much he protested against their movement, it wasn't that what was being said was boring or uninteresting, in fact it was fascinating but…

_Twin movements, each copied, each mimicked to perfection, hands wandering and moving and stroking, soothing hurts he hadn't known existed, relaxing muscles that should never have tensed and responding to soft moans and whispered requests without fault nor failure… _

_Panting for another breath of heavy air, filling his lungs to burning point but still not enough. A scythe like form quivered beneath him as she stole kisses from his lips, wandering lazily but with purpose down his neck, suckling and licking at his shoulders "love you..." her husky voice whispered "love you…" _

"Daniel!" Sam raised her voice slightly as was a little concerned as he jumped far more than necessary.

His eyes snapped open and he found everyone looking at him, he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, uncomfortably aware of how his body was beginning to respond to the mental stimuli. "Sorry," he mumbled, he kept Sam's gaze which studied him long after everyone else's had stopped before she finally broke their link and turned back to the briefing at hand.

"Daniel," Vala said softly "are you all right?" tracing a hand up his arm and one finger brushing against his chin, he jerked away far more quickly than even he expected to. She frowned and pouted but didn't say anything.

Taking a breath he was relieved to find the remnant… reactions to the memory turned daydream died down far more quickly than they had arrived, "sorry Vala," he said, and to the rest of the people sat at the table "General I-"

"You can go Doctor Jackson," Landry said "perhaps you should go back to the infirmary,"

Daniel nodded gratefully, stood and left the briefing room, not sparing anyone a second glance, letting a breath loose had not realised he was holding until the briefing continued in his absence. He had no intention of going to the infirmary, a couple of painkillers, a cup of coffee and some quiet would do him the world of good. Oh yeah, and a divorce.

"What's wrong?" Vala asked following him from the room, her departure having no effect whatsoever.

"Nothing's wrong Vala," he assured her as they came to a halt in a semi empty corridor, lying, of course he was lying.

He was not attracted to her… he'd told himself that already, yes she was a beautiful woman, she was very much so, but he wasn't interested… was he? He _was_ married to her… he was angry about that remember? He shook his head, don't go there, this is just the aftermath of the alien possession, everything would be normal again in a few hours… okay days? That was why he -

"Ow!" he yelped, hand flying to his now smarting cheek he fixed a steely glare on his assailant "what was that for?"

She shrugged "you were going off in another little daydream," she said proudly "and you lied,"

His glare intensified "there's nothing wrong with me Vala," he repeated, not expecting her to once again slap him "ow! Will you stop it?" he should step out of her personal space but yet he couldn't bring himself too.

She smirked, "want me to kiss it better?" she stepped closer to him, she could feel the warmth of his body against hers, this was different, _something_ was different, it felt more right, it felt real and it felt strong, if he would just –

"Vala," he said, teeth clamped together as he hissed out the warning.

She sighed and stepped back "infirmary," she took his wrist and began pulling him down the corridor.

"Vala I don't need to go to the - let go of me!" okay so his voice told her no but his body told him yes, he wasn't fighting her, just protesting. Loudly.

They came to a halt in front of Carolyn who stopped dead in her tracks as now in them was one alien and one rather disgruntled looking linguist. Who seemed to be searching his mind for a suitable phrase to describe his companion, or maybe he had found it but was reciting it in every language he could to stop himself from saying it aloud "what's-"

"Daniel has a headache," Vala announced, surprising her companion at her perceptiveness "I suggest you examine him,"

Daniel finally tugged his wrist away from her, scowling "sorry to bother you Carolyn. I've got some Tylenol in my office; I was just on my way there-"

"I could do it," Vala teased, smiling.

Daniel's eyes widened, swallowing against the urge to either wipe it off her face or to photograph it "and what exactly would I need to be examined for?" he demanded the still grinning brunette.

"You just woke up from something similar to a severe concussion yesterday Doctor Jackson" Carolyn pointed out "and alien possession before that. Vala does have a point"

He turned on the mentioned party "and if this is part of the effect the Katar have on their hosts then why aren't _you _affected?" he snapped petulantly allowing Carolyn to usher him to a bed and remove his glasses. Before shining a penlight into each eye, trying not to shy away as it caused his headache to intensify.

Vala shrugged "I had a headache earlier," she piped up.

"And she came to see me," Carolyn added, pocketing the light.

He frowned at them both.

"I can always examine her too Doctor Jackson if it makes you feel any better," Carolyn's voice was somewhere between serious and teasing, teetering on the edge of blatant mockery. Picking up a needle and canister, she rolled up his shirtsleeve.

He ignored her condescending comment and stayed sat down only long enough for her to retract the needle and send a nearby nurse off with orders to perform more tests.

"How much sleep did you get last night?" she said as he rolled his sleeve back down and replaced his glasses.

He looked confused for a moment "I went to bed pretty much as soon as I got home," he replied.

She nodded "it's probably nothing to worry about; you both underwent severe stress both physically and psychologically. Apparently headaches aren't abnormal in situations like this, at least according to Colonel Mitchell's report," off their identical expressions of prompting "a woman on the planet told him so,"

* * *

Vala was bored.

She was far from comfortable with this entire situation, the last thing she remembered was backing away from two advancing figures, side by side with Daniel as they watched in horror as the blasts from their weapons proved useless against their 'attackers'

Despite her discomfort she smiled brightly as she entered her topic of thought's office, chin resting on his hand as he watched the tape of scriptures SG19 had brought back from their latest excursion, making occasional notes on the pad of paper near his right hand.

"Anything interesting?" she asked, moving round to lean against his side of the desk, before hopping up onto it and swinging her legs idly.

He pressed the stop button "it's mostly fairytales and stories for children," he replied, extracting the tape and flicking through the papers littering his workspace; her hand snatched it up before he could stop her.

"Certificate of marriage?" she looked from it, to him, expectantly "Daniel," she spoke slowly.

He sighed, took off his glasses and ran a hand over his face "we're married," he confirmed reluctance lacing every tangible note of his voice.

"Oh," she answered, handing him back the certificate and shrugging "wanna go for lunch?"

His eyes narrowed "We. Are. Married," he repeated slowly.

"So?"

He felt a bubble of fury rise in his chest "doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Um…" she thought about it "not really,"

"It means…" he was supposed to be a linguist dammit! Why couldn't he think of how to explain it to her? "It means we're together," he winced; 'together'? What kind of lame-ass explanation was _that_?

She nodded "I know what marriage is Daniel,"

"Then-"

"It's not that big of a deal," she picked up a small statue from across the desk, squinting at it; ascertaining its value subconsciously.

He took it from her hands, replacing it with a steady glare fixed on her "I'm going to speak to General Landry about it later,"

"Why?" she cocked her head curiously.

"Too see if he can get it annulled,"

She frowned in confusion.

He capitulated… "Uh… cancelled, made void… divorced. It would normally take months but I think if he explains the situation to the President…" he felt a sudden stab in the chest he was not expecting when he saw a defined hurt creep into the young woman's eyes as she slid from his desk. Was it _supposed _to hurt that much? It shouldn't. Not if he didn't have the feelings for her he thought he didn't. No, that was stupid, he'd feel guilty no matter who it was, and obviously lack of tact was contagious today.

"I'll be in the commissary," she said in a faux cheery tone, her lips curved in a smile that did not reach her eyes no matter how hard she seemed to be trying.

Neither of them felt the way they should for marriage to be true, she was a flirt plain and simple and he… he wasn't interested. She didn't seem the type to want to be tied down to just the one person, and he wasn't sure he ever wanted to marry again.

But if that was the case why did it feel like all the air was being sucked from the room as she left without a suggestive comment or a playful smirk?

Surely it didn't mean that much to her? They weren't even themselves, they didn't have any memory of the ceremony, and certainly neither had any desire to wed, their relationship was one of tolerable colleagues and nothing more, or so he had thought.

He put his head on his folded arms on the desk and sighed exasperatedly; and two days ago everything was as close to normal as he would ever get but then again if normalcy were what he wanted he would never have joined the Stargate Program. They meant what they said; all good things really do come to an end and far, far too soon it seems.

_Author's Notes: Updating spree! Woot! Who wants to do coursework when you have Daniel and Vala-ness to write? I already have chapter 8 written! lol :) Please Review!_


	8. Democratic Dictatorship

_Author's Notes: And since you asked so nicely..._

Chapter 8: Democratic Dictatorship

"What?" he breathed, staring at the General in shock "what do you mean; he said _no_?"

"The President doesn't think it to be a matter of great significance, if you really want to divorce her Doctor Jackson you're going to have to do it the old fashioned way; through a court of law,"

"But-"

"There's nothing I can do,"

"Yes sir,"

* * *

Vala paused outside Landry's office, voices drifting out of a pushed-to-but-not-closed door, he sounded so disappointed, looked pretty much the same as well as she peered through the crack. 

Why did this even matter to her? It shouldn't, she'd faced rejection before, lived a life of solitude for many a year. It didn't take a genius to realise that she and Daniel… that was just… it just shouldn't.

It didn't matter, it _shouldn't_ matter, this was like something out of those movies she'd spent hours watching, she was sure she'd seen something about two people doing something they regretted whilst inebriated. But they hadn't been drunk; at least she didn't think they'd been.

_Arms surrounding her, comforting her, warmth and safety conveyed by touch and by scent. He was solid and real and unmoving and she had never, ever felt so protected in her life…_

"Vala!" Sam sounded genuinely surprised to see her "what're you doing down here?"

Vala jumped and turned around, hoping she hadn't been spotted spying on Daniel and Landry "wandering," she smiled.

"Are you okay?" Sam said as Vala approached her.

"I'm fine," she answered, falling in to step along side the blonde, oddly silent.

"So uh…" she was at a loss as to what to say, was there anything to say?

"Daniel's spoken to General Landry," she said as Sam held open the door to the commissary and she stepped through, she'd been here earlier as she'd told Daniel but was not against returning.

"About what?" Sam asked, heading for the food counter, Vala on her heels.

Vala ignored he question "I heard them talking, apparently it's going to take months to get a divorce," she tested the word, so she knew what marriage was and divorce. She was slowly becoming accustomed the legal ways of earth but that didn't mean she understood the technicalities.

"Oh," Sam picked up her tray and headed for a table, taking a seat with Vala opposite her, she frowned, eyes widening in realisation as to the sadness she could just about hear in the other woman's voice "do you want one?"

She shrugged "I don't even really understand it," she laughed, suddenly her mood brightening, pinching a fry and popping into her mouth "besides, it's up to Daniel," she swallowed then took another.

"No it's not," she said, "it's up to both of you,"

Vala shook her head "nope," she smiled, more meaningfully "doesn't make a difference,"

"To what?"

Vala didn't reply, far to absorbed in stealing food from Sam's plate.

"Vala," Sam warned, to no affect.

"So," she was practically bouncing in her seat, the chance to change the subject a welcome intervention "when's our next trip of world?"

Sam stuttered a moment "uh… two days, we're going to PQ5-457, MALP telemetry shows nothing hostile there; basic recon," she swallowed a mouthful of vegetables, sipping her glass of water "has Doctor Lam got you and Daniel back on active duty again?"

"If we pass the examination she wants to give us tomorrow then she said we were good to go," Vala ignored Sam's imploring look and stole another French fry.

* * *

Was it really worth all the effort? Getting a lawyer, and explaining it all to Vala, and then the court hearings and – it wasn't even like either one of them was ever likely to want to marry again was it? Working in a top-secret facility didn't exactly make dating easy, Sam had proved that, and Vala? She wasn't likely to date, or be _allowed_ to date, anyone on earth and off-world their marriage would be unlikely to abide by laws in those cultures. 

But _married? _It sounded so odd, him and her, Daniel and Vala, Jackson and Maldoran… did she change her name? Vala Jackson? That sounded… odd… and why the hell was he having to fight smiling at the thought?

_"I love you..." every touch sent shivers down his spine, his skin on fire every time hers moved across it, heat and fire, burning, agonising, beautiful._

_She fell back on to the bed, pulling her on top of him, her tongue exploring his mouth much like his hands were her body, every curve, every dip, not an inch left untouched. Satin, velvet and silk, desire and passion filling every thought and every breath…_

The coffee mug fell from the desk; it's contents splattering across the floor and his boots, soaking them, a tinkling sound as it shattered, he watched indifferently as the mug's contents spread over the floor.

* * *

_Solid wall against her back matched the solid body trapping her against it, she couldn't breath, her chest tight and yet it wasn't painful, just exhilarating, even with her eyes closed she could see in her mind the expression on his face. He shivered; pressing himself impossibly closer to her as her fingers began and teasing dance along the scar where his appendix had been removed years ago, smooth against her fingertips. He swallowed her smile in a possessive kiss…_

Vala forced back the satisfied smile that was gracing her lips at the daydream… no it wasn't a daydream; it was too clear, too real…

* * *

Daniel dropped the wad of paper towels he had used to absorb the spilt coffee into the wastepaper basket, he picked up a forgotten shard of pottery and threw that in too. 

"Jackson?" Cam raised an eyebrow as Daniel replied 'down here' and got to his feet.

"Spilled coffee," he explained, taking his seat once more as Cam put both his hands in his pockets, feet squared as he stood in front of the desk "something wrong?"

"Landry said you spoke to him about getting the marriage annulled,"

"The President doesn't think it's of enough significance,"

Cam nodded his head "well, it's not like you're down at the clubs every Friday night looking to hook up with a girl," he grinned, "and it's not like Vala's in any situation to go out on the prowl,"

"Vala is always 'out on the prowl'," adding, off his CO's raised eyebrow, "your words not mine,"

"There's a difference between meaningless sex and a lasting relationship Daniel," he grinned, at the disgruntled look on the other man's face.

_He collapsed sideways next to her, no sooner was he flat on his back had she crawled on top of him, her legs between his and their bodies flush against one another. Her warm breath creating a trail of fire across his chest with each puff of air, he felt sated, comfortable, relaxed, more so than he had for a very long time._

Daniel blinked harshly "it wasn't meaningless," he mumbled, a quirk of his eyebrow in a manner eerily like Teal'c's as Cam waved his hand in front of his face "what?"

"You zoned out on me for a second there," he put his hand back in his pocket "and what wasn't meaningless?"

Daniel felt a slight blush begin to creep up to his face "nothing" he cleared his throat, then deciding on the perfect escape. "These translations," he gestured to his notes on the scripts brought back by SG19, "they're children's stories but…" he trailed off, realising his rambling was serving little purpose except to fuel the smirk growing bigger and bigger on Mitchell's face.

There was a stiff silence for a moment.

Cam cleared his throat "can I ask you a question?" he said hesitantly.

Daniel simply looked at him.

"Back on PK6-254… Amina said something…" he received no prompting and gave up on trying to act tactfully "do you have the hots for Vala?"

Daniel choked suddenly "I'm sorry?" he wheezed out, squeezing his eyes shut to blink back the water that had risen to them "um… I… no!" he glared at the other man disapprovingly.

Cam gave a knowing grin "thought so,"

"Look… that was neither me _nor_ Vala, I don't even _remember _what happened,"

"Meaningless sex Jackson?" Cam ribbed his team member playfully.

"Mitchell this is – I have no feelings for Vala what so ever, she is my friend and colleague-"

"And wife!" he added brightly.

Daniel glowered at him "by mutual error I assure you. I am nor more attracted to her anymore than I am, Sam… Carolyn, o-or you or Teal'c!" he stammered, tripping over the words, - God why'd he say that?

Cam laughed "Jackson, you dog!"

Daniel gave him an aggravated look, "ask a question," his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Cam rolled his eyes "sorry," he apologised, still smiling, for a guy who didn't feel anything to the dark haired alien he sure was getting rather flustered over a little joke.

Daniel sighed, "it's okay," he said, his voice distant, "it's fine,"

Cam had a feeling he wasn't talking about his jibing.

_Author's Notes: Okay that was just weird, I have NO idea where the Mitchell taking the piss out of Daniel came from but… freaky person here! Shorter I know but hey! Fast updates… Lol, please review. Chapter 9 is already written :) _


	9. Revelations

Author's Notes: Another update! Here you go... for any of you who like Sam and Vala friendship pieces this chapter has a whole lot of it :) I am trying really hard with keeping everyone in character...

Chapter 9: Revelations

"PR2-493 looks like a viable next mission for SG1 sir," Sam said to Landry, who nodded.

"Any signs of the Prior's?" Cam asked, arms folded across his chest as he watched the young woman who was stood with her hands folded neatly in front of her.

"Not as yet, no," she answered before turning to look back at the General.

"You leave at 0900 tomorrow," Landry replied, frowning in concern at Vala "are you all right?"

She looked up, as if suddenly jumping out of her own little world "oh? Yes I'm fine," she smiled forcing back the discomfort in her stomach and the nausea rising to the back of her throat.

Landry believed her, smiling slightly in forced encouragement "dismissed,"

As Sam gathered together her papers Landry left for his office, closing the door behind him, "so…" Cam started looking at Daniel who was reading something in front of him with interest.

Daniel looked up expectantly, glancing from Sam to Mitchell once, turning his head slightly when Vala excused herself and departed hastily.

Teal'c noticed that neither Colonel looked willing to continue Cam's started sentence so he took it upon himself to finish it himself "have you and Vala Maldoran received any news on your separation?"

Daniel's brow furrowed a moment, then "uh… no, not yet," truth was over the past couple of months it hadn't so much slipped his mind but he had avoided having to deal with it. Another four planets had fallen to the Ori, two of which had been hit by the Ori plague before they had succumbed to the will of the Prior's. His own trips off-world had meant the amount of paperwork in his office had risen to almost uncontrollable amounts and he had pulled several all-nighters without even realising it.

Why he had been so insistent originally was beginning to be a lost reason for him, no he wasn't happy about being married to Vala, but there wasn't much he could do; did he even have time for the hassle a divorce would cause? No he didn't think so, especially if the past two months were anything to go by and with the President refusing to help… "I have some work to do," he got to his feet "I'll see you later," he gave them all a brief smile before leaving the briefing room.

"This is just weird," Cam announced.

"What is?" Sam replied absently.

"This," he repeated, before explaining, "Jackson and Vala,"

"Indeed," Teal'c said, "it is most disconcerting,"

"It's almost like they don't even want to get the divorce,"

"I don't think they really have time for it," Sam answered, her notes under her arm and standing still to continue the conversation.

"Daniel Jackson was most insistent that they separate as soon as possible," Teal'c offered "and yet he does not seem willing to put in the effort required to complete such a mission,"

"It's not really a lot to do with us," Sam reasoned "it's up to them," she smiled and nodded at Cam and then dismissed herself.

* * *

Vala groaned softly, glancing only briefly at the lock on the stall door, sat on the closed toilet lid of the women's rest room, she ran her hands through her hair. 

_Eyes sparkling blue, a well toned body, tanned skin glistening with a slight sheen of sweat as he leaned over her… _

She felt another wave of nausea washed her and she scrambled of the toilet. Flipped up the lid and promptly emptied her stomach's contents once more, breathing heavily as it passed, she pressed her hot forehead against the porcelain rim, uncaring, and feeling to ill to move for the time being.

_Soft, warm and strong, a welcome heavy weight against her body, musky scents of spices and a tiny hint of cologne mixed with a faint smell that was simply him… _

She raised herself from the floor once she was certain the sickness had passed and she left the stall, moving over to the sinks to wash her hands and glance in the mirror. Splashing water into her face and swilling some round her mouth, she dried quickly as she could feel herself cooling down with paper towels and then pulled a hair tie from her pocket and using it to roughly hold her hair back in a ponytail.

She felt better now, the fatigue that had rolled in alongside the nausea dissipating quickly she was able to think more clearly. She'd felt like this before, she remembered and then when the cold feeling of doubt and of something she refused to label as fear it hit her hard; Adria.

* * *

"Hey," Sam greeted softly as Vala entered her lab, looking much better than she had in the briefing "you want something?" she looked back down at the alien device in her hands, moving it under the microscope once more she peered inside what looked to be the control panel. 

"I'm pregnant," she replied matter-of-factly, slipping on to the chair opposite Sam's desk.

Sam nearly dropped the device, placing it carefully out of harms way she fixed wide blue eyes on the other woman "what?" she said slowly, trying to mask a variety of feelings that rose at those words "Ori?"

Vala shook her head, that had been her first thought until she had decided to pay attention to the scattered memories that had been sneaking their way into conscious thought ever since Akhiyaa had left her body. Her mind slowly fixing the intrusion and permitting her access to the events that had happened whilst she had not been in control.

Sam stared at her, choking on the word before she could get it out, her mind racing far faster than even she could speak _"Daniel?" _

"Yes," Vala replied.

"Are you sure?" stupid question Sam, stupid, stupid question, she covered "have you taken a test?"

Vala shook her head "I know what pregnancy feels like Colonel Carter. I've been a mother before," she gave her a wry little smile "although they were extenuating circumstances,"

"You need to take one; to be sure," she moved round the desk so there was nothing between her and Vala, "have you spoken to Daniel?"

Vala laughed "he's avoiding me," she replied "I get the feeling he doesn't really want anything to do with me at the moment; and walking in to his office and announcing I'm carrying his baby might not be such a good idea,"

Sam saw her point "have you seen Doctor Lam?"

"No!" something other than mirth made its way into her expression, her eyes becoming darkening "no," she repeated calmer.

"Vala you need to-"

"I don't need everyone on this base knowing," she cut her off "I came here because… well because you're a woman," she said it as if it were obvious.

Sam appreciated the sentiment all though it did throw her for the punch, _because you're a woman, _that sentence made her peripherally aware of her own biological clock ticking. Frustrated by it she quashed the thoughts worming their way into her conscious mind; she didn't want children, not in her job. Maybe if she lived the fairytale life with a white picket fence and no fear of intergalactic villains wanting to take over the planet – wow did _that_ sound like something from a science fiction movie, "you really should go the infirmary,"

"I can't," Vala insisted sadly "please Sam. He doesn't need to know. Not yet,"

Sam glanced at her watch, it was getting reasonably late and she could probably get off early if she spoke to Landry; for once in her life she was completely lost for words, ignoring protocol and following instinct? "do you want too… you could come to my place and…"

Vala took a calming breath and eased Sam's discomfort, "thank you," was her whispered reply.

* * *

Sam was suddenly self-conscious as she and Vala perused the shelves of the drug store, she shifted her hold on her purse, and glanced at the brunette who seemed to be picking up everything and anything she could get her hands on and examining it. Her friendship with Vala seemed to have sky rocketed to a whole new level; her understanding of the alien woman was not as complete as she wished it were. She almost laughed at the notion; she could go exploring other planets fairly certain Vala had her six, but shopping for pregnancy tests… 

Vala snatched the pink box out of Sam's hand, who barely even realised she was holding it; standing in the que by the counter her thoughts elsewhere. A fine eyebrow disappeared under her side fringe "This can tell me if I'm pregnant or not?" she sounded sceptic.

"Yes," Sam replied, smiling politely at the young man at the cash register as he took the box from Vala's hands when she passed it to him and he scanned it, Sam glanced at Vala who shrugged and showed empty hands, sighing Sam pulled out the right amount of cash and handed it over.

Vala followed intrigued as Sam left the store, the pregnancy testing kit in a shopping bag as she headed towards her car, getting in to the driver's seat as Vala got in the passenger she started the engine, did up her seatbelt and pulled back out onto the road. As wrong as she knew it was she felt part of her praying that Vala's guess wasn't right.

* * *

"So what do I have to do with it?" she looked at Sam as she turned on the coffee maker so it could boil and took of her jacket, laying it on the back of a kitchen chair. 

"Read the instructions," she said far more calmly than she actually felt. Why was she so nervous? She was only a helping hand in a situation that was aftermath to the fallout one Goau'ld had managed to make, a renewed hate came forth; if those guys had ever had any idea…

Vala nodded and headed from the kitchen engrossed in reading the back of the package.

She should have insisted that Vala go to the infirmary, or told Daniel, Daniel deserved to know. This was so completely above her head! She was just saying less than two hours ago that whatever Vala and Daniel wanted to do was their purgative but her she was, marriage was something she could get her head round; a baby? That was bigger. If they did decide they wanted to divorce, a couple of phone calls, a few tedious months and then it would all be over, obviously no one was meant to have a quiet life.

* * *

Sam poured her coffee, the smell of the wonderful beverage calming in an odd way; she then glanced at the clock on the wall. Vala had been in the bathroom an awfully long time. Placing the mug back down on the counter she went and knocked on the door. 

"Vala," she said loudly through the wood "you okay?"

No reply.

Concerned Sam moved to turn the handle "I'm gonna come in," she warned before opening the door.

Vala was sat once more on a closed toilet lid and she looked up as Sam entered, eyes wide and shining with tears, the little stick in her hands that were laying in her lap, shaking fiercely and looking like she was seriously fighting crying properly.

"Vala," she said softly.

"I'm pregnant Sam," she whispered, voice whisper quiet and fragile, a sob hitched in her throat, she raised a hand and pressed the back to her mouth momentarily, wiping furiously at tears she did not want to fall. "What do I do?" she breathed, her voice so faint it was barely audible, then after a moment, even quieter she repeated, "What do I do?"

She barely noticed she had been addressed by her first name; propriety and detachment flew out of the metaphorical window and Sam moved forward slowly, she crouched in front of her and placed a steady hand on top of two shaking ones, in an effort to convey silent comfort. She started when the hands moved and arms wrapped themselves round her neck, reflexively she hugged her in return, rubbing her back just once she tried as hard as she could to ignore the convulsive tremors and the voice in her head screaming at her.

She hadn't seemed too bothered before, as if it didn't matter, like she could take on the world, do it all over again but now… it was if Vala had gotten a huge reality check, tears streaming unbidden down her cheeks and dampening Sam's shirt. She had no idea what she was expected to do; dealing with bawling pregnant alien friends oddly wasn't covered by training. Relying completely on instinct Sam made the decision just be whatever she had too for tonight, tomorrow she would tell Doctor Lam, and Daniel. For now Vala didn't need examinations and the cold shoulder, for now she needed a friend and Sam was going to do whatever she had to, to give her that.

* * *

Sam sighed as she signed herself in and waited for Vala to do the same. After her crying jag last night she seemed much more like her lively self, although mental conflict was obvious in her eyes to whoever took the time to look. 

The silence between them was not overly uncomfortable but it was not easy either, she thumbed the button for the infirmary floor hoping Vala had not seen the move, she did.

"No," she said insistently, pressing another button "I'm not going to the infirmary,"

"Vala you have too," Sam pleaded "we have a mission this morning-"

"Which I will go on," she said matter-of-factly.

"Vala!" Sam cried "you're-" she lowered her voice as a Major 'Franks' entered the elevator, smiling at them.

"Good morning Colonel Carter, Ms. Jackson" he nodded in greeting, perfectly serious but earning himself twin looks of surprise.

"Morning Major," Sam answered politely then turned back to Vala, hissing in her ear "pregnant!"

"It's Maldoran," Vala stepped from the elevator on the next floor, Sam following "Ms. Jackson?" Vala turned on her, when Sam did not respond she sighed "I can't miss this," she begged "if I do then Colonel Mitchell and Teal'c and Daniel… he cannot know yet Sam," eyes wide and desperate.

"Why not?" she couldn't let her do this, couldn't let her go off world, the consequences for the both of them should anyone find out that they knew…

"Because," she started "because… just because,"

"You can't-"

"I'll be careful,"

"It doesn't work like that Vala," she was desperate for her to understand.

"Sam," she sighed, "I gave birth to Adria on an Ori ship, far away from your doctors, I used the communication device, was starved and dehydrated pregnant… I don't think going through the Stargate is going to do me any harm," the only thing missing from her chipper tone of voice was the twinkle in her eyes.

Sam knew she shouldn't, hell she considered checking _herself _into the infirmary because she feared she was actually loosing her mind when she replied "fine," quietly "but you have to tell him,"

"I will," Vala replied "just…" she closed her eyes and licked her lips then opened them again "after the mission," she assured her "after the mission, I'll tell Daniel,"

* * *

Sam looked up as Daniel entered the gate room, taking his gun from the airman who handed it to him before heading over to join the trio already there "where's Vala?" he asked shifting to hold the weapon more comfortably. 

Cam shrugged "I haven't seen her this morning" he admitted.

"Nor have I," Teal'c added.

They looked at Sam "she…" best not tell them she stayed the night at her house "I saw her about an hour ago," she replied "but not since then,"

"What's the hold up?" Landry's voice echoed through the intercom.

"Vala's not here sir," Cam reported back.

Landry glanced at his watch "Have you seen her Doctor Jackson?"

"Not today sir," Daniel replied, all four of them looking up towards the control room.

"Colonel Carter, you left base with her yesterday," he turned to Sam.

"I was with her this morning, about an hour ago she was heading to the – excuse me sir." She did not give him time to give her permission to leave the room, she brushed past the airmen and opened the blast doors, moving quickly down the corridor she headed for the women's restroom.

* * *

The door was partially open and the sounds of someone retching in the third stall across had Sam heading straight for it, placing her gun down carefully she knelt in the door way as Vala straightened, placing a hand on Vala's back she said her name quietly. 

Vala jumped and turned her head, seeing it was Sam she relaxed only a tiny bit and tucked her hair behind her ear, giving her a small smile "I'll be fine in a minute,"

Sam shook her head "Vala I have too tell them,"

The smile disappeared and her voice lowered, her tone commanding, "don't,"

"Vala, we were meant to leave for PR2-493 ten minutes ago," she eyed the green BDUs and then glanced down at her own blue fatigues and vest.

Vala rested her head against the cubicle wall, taking a breath "go, tell them I'll be there in five minutes,"

Sam shook her head "I can't Vala," she said sorrowfully "come on,"

She opened her mouth to object but Sam had already pulled her to her feet. With Vala in one hand and her newly picked up P-90 in the other Sam exited the restrooms and headed for the infirmary.

* * *

"SG1 stand down," Landry entered the gate room at a quick pace. 

"What? Why?" Cam replied as the General came to a halt in front of the team.

"The mission's been scrubbed, Doctor Jackson report to the infirmary at once please,"

Cam looked at Daniel expectantly, sighing exasperatedly as they each began handing off their weapons to the airmen who had given them, them in the first place.

"Why do I have to go to the infirmary?" Daniel asked as Cam unclipped his P-90.

"I don't know, Doctor Lam has just asked you report immediately,"

* * *

"I've asked that Doctor Jackson report here," Carolyn said softly to Vala who sat on the edge of the infirmary bed, Sam stood nearby, her hands folded in front of her and watching the usually outspoken young woman sit in silence. 

"What's wrong?" Daniel came in, ever so slightly breathless from his rush there.

Carolyn glanced at Vala then at Sam who gave her an approving nod "can you come to my office please?"

A new dread filled him, fear lacing it as he nodded an 'of course' and followed the CMO to her office. It had to be something to do with Vala, else why would she be sat on the bed, _and_ be late for the mission? Ignoring all the ideas and possibilities flitting through his mind he watched Carolyn intently as she closed the door behind him before moving round to look at him straight.

"I…" she paused, hands in the pockets of her coat "have some news," she spoke slowly and hesitantly.

Her tentative manner was making him nervous "what?" he prompted, at the same time unsure he wanted to know at all.

Carolyn licked her lips "Vala's pregnant," she watched him carefully for a reaction, and a reaction she did get, not verbal, no this was beyond being able to _talk _about it. This was bigger than an accidental marriage, this was bigger than anything that had ever been between the duo, he stared at her for a fraction of a second before he turned, opened the door again and left. His stride strong and purposeful as he ignored Sam who said something Carolyn did not hear and left the infirmary all together.

_Author's Notes: Chapter 10, oddly enough hasn't been written yet :O!_

_Next Chapter: Daniel avoids everyone, Cam, Teal'c and General Landry hear of the latest drama unfolding beneath their very noses and Sam makes a phone call._


	10. Silence is Golden

_Author's Notes: I have a splitting headache and have done for four days now and no amount of painkiller, eating, drinking, sleeping, even not being on the computer is shifting And the fact mom is making me eat and in turn that makes me feel sick is not helping at all. You think Daniel needs slapping for /that/? Oh boy…_

Chapter 10: Silence is Golden

His chest felt tight and it was hard to breathe. Suddenly it was hot, far, far to hot but at the same time it also felt freezing, his stomach clenched and somersaulted and he fought the urge to just sit down right there in the elevator. The low rumble of metal on metal and of machinery as he travelled up another floor, created a haze he could not pull himself out of. Having changed mechanically back into normal SGC wear he had not noticed when he had stepped inside or indeed pressed the button to the floor he needed.

_"I do…" passion, lust, need, love, all at once, and so, so strong, so strong it hurt to even be away from her… one moment, one touch… "Vala's pregnant..."_

His office was his sanctuary, an escape, somewhere where he felt safe. Loosing himself in ancient texts, artefacts, religious items, masks, ornaments… the past was unchangeable, fixed in it's path with no way to move it, alter it or make things better.

Sometimes that hurt; the knowledge that you couldn't stop bad things happening; moving past that, past Skaara, Sha're… past his parents… thousands and thousands of years of wonderful, interesting cultures; their names, their jobs all lost in the sands of time but sometimes the legacy goes on…

He closed the door and took a seat at his desk once more.

Vala pregnant.

Pregnant Vala.

Didn't make it better whichever way he thought about it. It was still real, still wrong and still steadfast.

He hadn't even toughed the vatish'ka this time, he'd done nothing and yet this time it was causing more damage to him than anything else had done. Dying was done in the name of a cause he was willing to risk his life for; marriage, pregnancy… starting a god damned family was _not _something he had even contemplated not since Sha're… why was she on his thoughts so much anyway? … And even then it had only been in passing.

"Daniel," Sam said, opening the door without waiting for a reply to the knock she had rapped smartly.

"Sam-"

"Vala's pregnant!" she exclaimed, as if she thought he didn't already know or was too stupid to comprehend that fact.

He laughed dryly, and checked the tape in the VCR before inserting it fully, not paying much attention as the screen flickered to life as he picked up his pen "I'd gotten that part,"

His voice was so unlike his own; he seemed uncaring, almost amused by the situation, this worried Sam "are you okay?" she said slightly more empathetic.

He glanced at her briefly, avoiding eye contact. Of all the things he had managed to learn from the likes of Jack, Sam even Janet the one that seemed to have caused him the most grief was making eye contact unnecessarily with anyone of them. When he did he became an open book and right now psychoanalysis was not something he wanted.

"Daniel, you need to talk to her,"

His head snapped up "no I don't," he replied coolly "I have work to do,"

"God Daniel! She needs to talk to you!" where was the Daniel she wanted to talk to? The sweet, caring wonderful Daniel, her surrogate little brother, her colleague, comrade, her _friend. _

This time he did make eye contact, the shock that registered on her face was only momentary "Not now," he whispered "this… this is just too much for me to deal with right now,"

Obviously pleading was a fruitless exercise. Time for plan b… "Too much for _you _to deal with, Daniel, _she_ is pregnant, it is _yours_ and she _really _needs someone to talk to,"

"You talk to her," well that sounded petulant, he chided himself.

"I'm not the one she needs, I'm not the one _you _need. You need each other to get this sorted out,"

He frowned… _"I do…" touch, kiss, steal, take… "I love you…" want… have… need… "Vala's pregnant…" _memories, solid and clear. Unwanted yet craved. Needed to have because they made him feel so much more alive, but despised because they weren't what he wanted to believe in "Sam please just go," his eyes were closed and his glasses lay abandoned on the desk, he did not remember taking them off.

His. Hers.

Real. Theirs.

Unwanted. Craved. Needed.

Result.

"Daniel-"

"Just go!" his gaze icy and yet clouded with doubt and fear and so many other things Sam could not or did not want to describe "please," he added desperately.

Nodding curtly, expressing her distaste but also her sympathy she left immediately.

* * *

General Landry was not an unreasonable man, valid reasons and excuses were permitted, even welcomed as to why a mission was scrubbed, however he did not like being 'out of the loop' as it were. SG1, minus Doctor Jackson but plus his daughter were sat at the briefing table waiting calmly but not without confusion on all but Colonel Carter and Vala's faces, both of which looked solemn. Sighing he left his office and strolled across the room to his designated seat "someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?" he nodded for everyone to retake their seat.

Carolyn glanced at Vala "where's Doctor Jackson?"

"Doctor Jackson will not be attending this briefing, as per his request. I was assured there was good reason for it; I'm hoping someone can clear this up for me," he ignored the expression of hurt that flitted across Vala's face and Teal'c moving to pat her comfortingly on the shoulder.

Carolyn turned to Sam who spoke before she got the chance "as you know sir, Daniel and Vala whilst under the influence of the Katar got married,"

Landry nodded "yes,"

"Well it appears that-"

"I'm pregnant," Vala announced, pause "again,"

Carolyn would have smirked at the look on Landry's face; a cross between disbelief, shock, awe and deadpanned amazement. Teal'c raised his eyebrow and Cam just looked at Vala, a moment before "what?" the word was quick and clipped short.

"Is there any reason why I have to repeat it every time I say it?" pause, sigh "I had sex with Daniel,"

Teal'c's other eyebrow raised before both descended and his lips moved into a smirk at the expression on Cam's face.

He opened his mouth a few times to say something, closing it unsuccessfully every time "woah… you… Jackson… se-… _pregnant?"_

"Yes Colonel Mitchell," her tone almost patronising.

Cam leaned back in his seat "at least it's normal this time," he breathed a sigh of relief "although it is yours and Jackson's so…" matching looks from Landry, Carolyn, Sam and Vala had him shutting up.

Landry was lost for words when he finally regained his capacity to speak he had everyone else watching him expectantly "you're off active duty Vala," he said apologetically at the look on her face "I'm sorry, it's protocol,"

Vala nodded "I need too…" she blinked once "I need to go," and she left without backwards glance.

"So how's Doctor Jackson dealing with it?" Landry asked.

"Well judging by the severe _lack _of his presence here sir, I'd think we can safely assume it's not going well,"

* * *

Daniel glanced briefly at his watch, lunchtime yet he wasn't hungry, more nauseous, tired. What was he supposed to do? Logically he knew he should talk to Vala. Of course he should talk to her, see how she felt; try and get all this sorted out but his heart… that was screaming, crying and panicking all at once, unable to understand what it was supposed to do.

He hadn't looked at her, hadn't glanced, hadn't listened; had she said something to him as he had stalked out of the infirmary so hastily? He did not know, he wished he did.

A baby, a human life, a tiny, frail being, he'd held many, delivered a few. Sha're, no _Amaunet _and Apophis' child; been so hurt when Sha're had turned in that tent, her belly round and prominent, her eyes wide with tears and Kasuf's arms wrapped around her as she wept at his dismissal.

He had a chance now, a real chance, a baby, _his child, _it wasn't Vala's fault and if it was it was no more hers than it was his own.

His head hurt.

* * *

Sam checked the calculations again, sighing when she found they were correct, of course they were, she'd gone over them eight times already. Her mind was racing but she needed to do this… now if … dammit! How had she gotten so wrapped up in the middle of this? _You care. _

Vala trusted her, wanted her help, and she had given it. Too hastily she now thought, everything was so wrong, such a mess, no way of telling or showing or even knowing what she was supposed to do now. She felt an icicle of guilt shoot through her abdomen at the thought that maybe she should check on Vala; find out where she was, how she was feeling. Uncertainty made her hesitate.

She could not help on her own, Daniel was her friend, a _great _friend, he was family but she would not pretend to have any idea what was going through his head right now; Vala was a job enough for her.

Her fingers were wrapped around the handset and the other hand dialling out before she knew it. One way or another this had to be sorted out and she could only think of one person who might possibly be able to help. "Hello this is Lieutenant Colonel Carter… Cheyenne Mountain yes… can I speak to General O'Neill please? … Yes I'll hold… thank you,"

_Author's Notes: I been told I back at school tomorrow... God I hope this headache's gone by then! ... please review!_


	11. Third Party Dealer

_Author's Notes: Ahh yes, the return of Jack…_

Chapter 11: Third Party Dealer

"Dannyboy!" he smirked readily when he received a shocked a reaction as he had predicted.

"'ack!" he spoke round the mouthful of chocolate bar he had just taken, he looked as if he were contemplating speaking more but waited until he had swallowed "what're you doing here?"

Jack shrugged, marginally grateful he had managed to change from the dress blues into something more comfortable "I've got a week's leave, thought I'd drop by," he wandered in, picking up and examining off handedly a figurine from a shelf before returning it "looks like not a moment too soon,"

Daniel looked at him "Jack," _tell me the truth._

"Daniel," _I am._

"Jack!" _No you're not; I don't have time for this._

"Carter called," he tucked his hands into his jeans pockets and grinned, "I leave and look at the mess you get yourself in too,"

Suddenly reminded of how condescending the older man could be Daniel averted his gaze "this is nothing to do with you," he pretended to be skim reading something lying in front of him… how on earth had the marriage certificate wheedled its way to the top of that pile?

Daniel pushed it aside, unaware that Jack caught a glimpse of the paper, and although Sam had already told him he was then presented with the perfect opportunity to mention one of the reasons he'd been called back to Colorado.

"Could've invited me," he teased.

Daniel ignored him; he did not know exactly why his friend's presence was so irritating so beyond what he needed right now. There was a time, many years ago when a touch, a hug, soft words, simply having one of his friends close by was something he knew he needed but never felt he deserved and by that he was grateful just to be able to sit in silence with them. Even arguing felt right.

So why was it so different? Why did being around people hurt? Why did breathing ache the way it did and why was he so afraid to leave his office for fear of running into _her? _He had a fleeting recollection of a home, a bed, of hot baths and things he was loath to go near because every thing in that apartment jogged a memory, made him see, made him feel wrong.

A wedding dress hung abandoned in the closet; having no urge to dispose of it, nor bring it to base and give it to her fore she might read something in to it, or the other people on base would – why did he even care?

Nothing made sense, he daren't sleep because the dreams were so real, so… so perfect but they were of her and he should not be dreaming of her, he shouldn't even be thinking of her in the way he had been ever since Nanith and Akhiyaa's jaunt in their bodies. Undressing her in his mind's eye, reliving, remembering and enjoying the one moment that should never have happened but doing so with such compassion and such primal need he could not stop.

"You had lunch?"

"Huh? … Oh … I have work…" he gestured half heartedly to the papers strewn hazardously around him, he couldn't go – no! He wasn't some teenager boy with commitment issues, he was Doctor Daniel Jackson, PhD, the first person to get the gate working since 1945, member of SG1, archaeologist, linguist, anthropologist… husband of Vala Maldoran, father of her baby. He couldn't do this "I'm not hungry,"

He was, of course he was, but he was busy and he was … nervous? She was changing him in so many ways and she did not even realise it. He could not talk to his colleagues and friends the same way he had, he couldn't say good morning to the airmen down the corridor for fear they were thinking something, judging him.

He'd never cared much for being judged; he was who he was, he liked that, he enjoyed it, he accepted the ridicule but this time it was because he knew he was wrong. Why the hell couldn't he just go and _talk _to her? She was a grown woman, and he a grown man, but conversation was not easy when it's discussing a future you are forced to have together far before you are able to even accept how you feel.

Accept? What was there to accept? He didn't feel any differently about her, he had no sudden urges to… yes he did. Part of him wanted to just see how it felt, become the passenger as oppose to the driver but by doing that he was opening himself up for the fall. For giving into the temptation to kiss her, to feel her lips against his again, her body warm against his and whispered assurances and admittance's of love he was convinced did not exist.

Jack nodded sarcastically "c'mon," he'd been called for a reason sure, happy for the reprieve.

* * *

The commissary was about three-quarters full, a low buzz of chatter and the occasional laugh echoed off the walls. Daniel did not remember joining the que for food behind Jack but was starkly aware of standing there, laden with a full tray, glaring at his friend as he noticed that Vala was sat, eating happily, far more content than he felt she had the right to be. 

"Daniel," he sported an innocent look; unfortunately Daniel saw right through the façade and refused to relent.

"Jack I-" he watched Sam wave a hand at them, beckoning them over, his stomach dropped when he saw Vala smile at him gently, willing him over.

"Now Daniel. Don't let's be rude," he ploughed towards the table the team was sat at, leaving Daniel standing in the middle of the room before he uncomfortably moved over as well, sliding into a seat next to Cam, avoiding making eye contact with any one of them.

He could feel her staring at him, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up but he refused to look at her. He was the problem, not her.

"General O'Neill," Teal'c greeted, grinning broadly, "I trust you are well,"

"Good as ever T," he dug into his mash potato with a flourish before recollecting how bad it tasted and slowing down some what but not without the blatant fake acting that it was indeed as tasty as anything he had eaten before. Although it was gourmet compared to some of the things he'd eaten in his time.

"General O'Neill?" Vala dug her spoon in the Jell-O in front of her.

"Yep. Vala?" he took a sip of water, sizing her up.

Daniel ducked his head, this was more uncomfortable than necessary, he didn't need another person on his back; someone else to tell him how unfair it was to avoid her. Jack seemed laid back and comfortable with her, as she with him, all five of them chattering amicably. Her voice piercing over the rest, her accent sharp and different but it did not, to his disappointment, irk him; it was almost soothing in its own odd little way. That in itself was disturbing.

Admit it Jackson, he speared the offending vegetable, you're stubborn.

It had all been a mistake, a stupid mistake but mistakes are regretted with your whole heart, you want to make things different, fix the problem, hide from the consequences. You heart wasn't supposed to skip a beat, your breath wasn't supposed to catch in your chest every time she entered the room, or she spoke. He wasn't supposed to.

_Supposed_ to. _Should_ have. Both the same things, both knowing what was the right thing to do and always had been but refusing to acknowledge it's existence because it was easier to pretend that none of it had happened. When you get lost in work and in play and just forget.

"So General," Cam started, relaxing a little in his seat as he sensed the ease between the General and those around him, "what're you here for?"

"Carter called me; she said I might be needed," was his reply, not glancing at either Daniel or Vala but rather fixing the Colonel with a piercing look.

Daniel's head shot up, glaring from Jack to Sam, he stood, dropping his fork onto his barely touched plate of suddenly unappetising food, "I have work to do," he muttered, voice low and almost inaudible. The smile on Vala's face slipped away completely and he moved even faster as if to evade the guilt that tried to rear it's ugly head at it being directed straight at him.

So that's why Jack had come; Sam had called, told him that 'Danny had screwed up again' and he'd come running once more. Normally calm, compassionate and understanding, willing to listen, at the moment he did not care. Privacy invaded, trust forsaken and his entire life turned upside down once more he was confused, hurt – did he even have any idea what he was?

Nothing made sense. Black and white had long since blurred to grey, dreams long forgotten and light hearted friendships begun to be tested by events and occurrences so far out of anyone's control it was terrifying as well at the same time as being exhilarating.

Part of him wanted to give in, 'go with the flow' see where he'd end up but that part was so small, so bound down by the logical side of his mind that it was trapped, choking for air as it drowned and suffocated in it's blanket of fear.

"Daniel,"

"Not now Jack, in fact, not ever," he didn't even have to look up to know who it was.

"Never thought I'd see the day when you'd be the one running _away_ without thinking first," he smirked, leaning against the doorjamb "you usually run straight for the source of the trouble,"

Daniel frowned disapprovingly, if only things would start making sense, that they would click, he would suddenly see the shades once more, see were the line was drawn, how far he could step before error was too fatal to be of any concern as it's salvation was not achievable.

"What do you want Daniel?" he said sincerely, he could patient, he could wait and he would help if he could.

Daniel laughed dryly "what I want? That's one hell of a question Jack," he pinched the bridge of his nose and threw his glasses down onto the desk, hands moving to his waist, a wry smile on his lips.

"Daniel," _I'm serious._

"Jack," _Don't push it._

Jack fixed him with a steady stare that refused to falter "talk to her,"

"I don't need to talk to her," he snapped hastily, yes I do! Yes I do! Make me! Force me to talk to her because unless someone does I'm going to make one of the biggest mistakes of my life!

"I never said you _needed_ to. I just think you should. Hell Danny, you're the linguist, you figure it out," arms folded, expression judgmental yet compassionate.

Jack had a point; he did usually talk things out with people. But this was different, harder, this meant admitting and feeling and discovering things he was not sure he was ready for. He almost laughed; an archaeologist afraid to find something new, of discovering buried treasures. It was absurd. "This is…"

"She needs you Daniel, and you need her," this was heart-to-heart, never-leave-this-room, how-did-I-get-sucked-into-this material, not his usual idea of conversational chit-chat but it was necessary.

There was a silence that fell upon the room, Daniel closed his eyes and hung his head. "The things I _should_ do Jack" he opened them and looked up "are different to the things I _need_ too."

Jack nodded, preferring to leave the conversation like that. Daniel just needed time, he had a week and he didn't like pushing it. Daniel's mental state was more of a worry to him than that of Vala's. It was blatantly obvious something was way off. Had to be, why else would he avoid all attempts at conversation?

Vala had Sam, she also seemed happy enough. General Jonathon 'Jack' I'm-a-matchmaker O'Neill. Well his life had never been exactly been the epitome of normal, and he'd been a fair few things ever since he first set foot in this mountain, Mr-Fix-It wasn't exactly a new one.

Daniel watched his friend with unfocussed eyes, only mumbling a response when Jack departed with a 'going back to the commissary' before he ran a hand over his face and took a desperate breath. He had so much more to say, so many things he wanted to admit to, to try and explain but until he could accept them he could do no such thing. He could pretend couldn't he? Hope and wait, not risk saying it suddenly, or finding out the answer he had was not the one he wanted?

_Author's Notes: And now we have… you got it! More freaky weirdness! _

_Next Chapter: Vala and Daniel come to loggerheads. _


	12. Protect Me

Chapter 12: Protect Me

"He'll be fine," Jack patted Vala on the back as he entered Sam's lab after having spoken to Landry. The brunette had stationed herself next to Sam, peering in pretended interest at the current project.

"Thank you for coming General," Sam looked up from her tinkering, smiling at him.

Vala watched the brief exchange. She could just leave, forget them all, walk through that gate and pretend like none of this ever happened, that everything was okay.

It was all a matter of relativity; of course she couldn't do that.

_Skin on skin and the ethereal glow the shattered darkness surrounded him, made him that much more attractive, too good for her, to perfect. She was the bad one, the thief and the cheat, the flirt, the one that did not deserve._

"You okay?"

She looked at the him "I'm fine," she replied, if General O'Neill could talk to her when he'd known her less than a day, ask her simple questions was it too much to ask that Daniel look at her? Acknowledge her existence?

Vala wasn't pining, she didn't long for the protection of a man but what she did want was – waiting around was useless, it didn't help. This wasn't a movie, he wasn't going to come rushing through the door and sweep her off her feet, beg her forgiveness for being such an ass. No if she wanted to talk to him then she would have to take matters into her own hands "excuse me," she slid from the stool and exited the lab.

Sam and Jack shared a look of confusion, a message of nervousness sent between them; for now they could only hope.

* * *

His office was bathed in the soft glow from his lamp, no need for main generator lights to be turned on. 

The room comfortable once more, a sanctuary, as wonderful and as treasured as every one of his friends was he was grateful for the peace and tranquillity of the late evening. The mountain still buzzed with activity and would do for many hours yet but it wasn't half as busy down there as it had been.

"Daniel," she had to keep her resolve.

Despite the lack of certainty in her voice Daniel took no heed of it "what do you want Vala?" he got up from his desk and headed over to the bookshelf, pulling several out then returning them before settling on the one he desired.

He didn't need this right now, he had to get away from her, bury himself in work, in books, in the past because that way he didn't have to face the woman who had turned his entire world upside down.

Vala paused, what she wanted? This wasn't about what she _wanted_; this was about what she _needed_. He would listen, Sam had seemed so sure of it, taking a breath she started "I don't _want _anything Daniel,"

"Then why are you in here?" he looked up from the book, a small frown creasing his forehead. She had no right to interfere like this, to stroll in to his life as she had over a year ago, involving him in the most bizarre of scenarios and unique of situations, but this… this really took it to far.

"Daniel… we need to talk about this," even to her it sounded laughable, her talk about something? She didn't talk, she did, and she took what she wanted, worked by herself, how was she supposed to tell him that it was _him _that she needed so much? That every waking moment was spent craving his touch, being able to say that she felt safe and protected and for once, needed, _wanted, _when the last thing she thought she wanted was security. When she _thought_ she just wanted sex. Those were the times; wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, no need to deal with the talking and the relationship, just a quick release, have the party, move on again.

"About what Vala?" his eyes narrowed and the book fell closed, still clasped in his hand, she could barely make out the title on the aged volume but that didn't matter, an insignificant detail.

"Us," this was pathetic, she was pathetic, no more flirting, no more sexual innuendoes this was more than primal need. This was the fairytale I-can't-live-without-you and it was tearing her apart, breaking her to pieces and shattering every single part of her into thousands of minute shards fit to cut and to break and to bleed.

"There is no us," he went back to his desk, retaking his seat as he poured over the notes scattered across his workspace, his tone clipped and clear.

She could feel tears burning the backs of her eyelids, emotional, she just had to get emotional now didn't she? Sure she'd cried last time… with Adria, but this wasn't a pregnancy of the seeming supernatural kind this was the result of two people together.

So the child wasn't the _intended_ result, neither had been in control of their bodies at the time but the point was that it was a little bit of her and a little bit of Daniel "why not?" she almost wanted to stamp her foot.

He raised his eyes "because," he replied, why couldn't he think of anything better to say? Admit it, say you're scared, and say you don't know what to do! Talk to her! She'll listen, it goes both ways, help her and let her help you! He wanted to tell her, try and articulate the convoluted logic swirling round his head like a turbo charge torpedo, but something was stopping him.

"Because? Because what?" he wasn't listening, why wasn't he listening? She was screaming, she knew she was screaming, she could hear it but why couldn't he?

"Because I don't love you Vala, I never have and I don't think I ever will" even to him that sounded harsh, cruel and unnecessary. Why was he saying things like that? It wasn't true but then in most ways it was. He didn't love her, he couldn't. She was Vala; it just would never work.

Her chest constricted "I'm not asking you to love me," oh God, of course she was… he had too, he had too, he had too… "I'm asking you to listen," keep calm. If she kept calm, resisted urges, needs and cravings, then she could be mature, be what he wanted her to be.

Leave! Just go away, don't come back, let me be, let me hide and bury myself in things that would normally backlog, but don't open my eyes, don't try and make me see.

He slammed the book down on the desk, dust rising in great clouds unnoticed "Listen to what? I cannot be what you want me to, I can't be your lover, your partner or your one-night-stand, and I can't be the father to your baby. You are asking the impossible by even coming in here," and she was.

Words flying from mouths that had no control, bullets bursting from loaded guns and piercing broken armour, each shot, each blow as devastating as the last and as painful as the next.

"It's your baby too Daniel," please listen, please hear me, hold me, kiss me, touch me, let me feel you.

"No," he glowered at her "it's not," deny it and it will all go away.

"Daniel!" she exclaimed, "it is as much mine as it is yours!"

"Then I guess it's neither of ours,"

How could he be so childish? Uncaring, ignorant, self-centred, arrogant, unaware, blind conceited selfish-? "You can go to these other planets, talk to all this people and open the lines of communication between your world and theirs but when someone who cares about you needs you, one of your friends, when _I_ need you, you just turn around and run away?"

His eyes narrowed "our situation is a little different to communicating with off-world cultures Vala,"

"I know that Daniel, but the one thing I _need_ from you, you won't give!" tears gone, frustration replacing the pain, anger and fury coursing through her like cold hearted poison. "I don't understand what you want me to do!"

"What do you want Vala? We're in multi-million dollar military facility with the President just down the phone tell me what you want and I'll get Landry to arrange it for you," his voice cool and detached, serving only to fuel her hurt, detachment worked, it stopped the pain for a little why. Be an actor, lie to yourself just long enough for her to leave.

"I need _you_ Daniel, yourself, I _cannot_ walk this alone. I cannot have this baby by myself. I need _you,_"

Shock registered on his face for barely a moment as if in ignorance of his previous words "well I'm sorry I can't give you that," and he sounded it, genuinely apologetic.

"Why not?" she was being selfish and petulant but she didn't care, everyone else gave a damn, even General O'Neill had asked her earlier if she wanted anything, if she was okay. So why could the man partially responsible for her current situation be so uncaring when she had both heard and seen for herself one more little piece of him despair every time they lost one more planet to the Ori?

When she knew every single person was so much more important to him than himself, what would she have to do to make herself appear on that list even level with him? Why was she so worthless to him?

"Because I just… Vala not now okay?" he was calmer, exhausted looking, as he were once more evading the inevitability of sleep.

"When Daniel?" she too was tired, tired of doing everything herself, of being surrounded by so many people willing to help her and at the same time she had never felt so alone, even when she had worked solo for so much time.

He looked straight at her, his face falling a little when he saw her eyes sparkling with tears, her expression sincere, something so rarely sported by the alien woman. He opened his mouth as if with the intention of snapping at her but closed it again for a second before replying "I don't know"

"Please?" accompanied by a pout, a desperate pout, not trying to be innocent, endearing, and the angel she clearly was not, simply begging for him to compromise with her.

She… did she even deserve this from him? Was she really in the wrong? "I can't do this now Vala, really I can't," his eyes strayed to the framed picture on his desk, Sha're, in all her heavenly beauty, smiling at the camera with pure adoration aimed straight at him, innocent, naïve and angelic.

Why now? Of all the times she could have sprung to the front of his mind why now? She was…

Sha're had been the north to his spinning compass needle, the one that had made him realise that he had so much more to give, that not everyone hated him, thought him the insane geeky archaeologist whose inane theorems and speculations had gotten him laughed at. She was willing to listen, to help and to learn.

She had been so perfect, that's why she had been chosen, picked from the group, her light shining through to everyone who laid eyes on her. Even snakes, even those, whose attention she did not deserve.

"I can't be her Daniel," she looked at the one on the wall, her voice whisper soft.

"I don't want you to be!" an ache rising in his chest as he traced a finger over the glass protecting the photo "don't ever try and be her,"

"Then tell me what I need to do!"

"I need… I need some space,"

"You've had that! You have barely spoken to me in two months," Vala felt a surge of anger she had no idea where came from, but it felt powerful and it made her strong.

"Maybe this isn't just isn't supposed to be then," he sounded resigned.

"Fight for it then!"

"I don't think I want to,"

A fire in her chest ignited by the spark that had burned there, blossoming into a full-blown furnace ready to strike out and scar those who touched it. "Why does she stop you from talking to me? She's dead Daniel!"

His head snapped up at her declaration, his heart plummeting and his stomach rolling, dead, lost, another mistake, another failed person on his endless list of those he had not saved. "I know that" his voice dangerously low as he stood, leaning forward onto the desk, his fingers splayed atop the papers and notations "but that doesn't make this… _us_ any easier"

"Why? How does she effect your actions now?" now she had his attention she was not willing to let it waver.

She was stupid, she had to be, was it really that hard to see? Had he really forgotten her that much? Her memory a blur, a lost entry in the sands of time, what kind of person was he that he could forget her like that? No! He hadn't forgotten her… he'd… he'd moved on… but wasn't that the same thing?

Forgetting how bad it feels, how your heart stops in your chest, the breath catches in your throat and when you become your own enemy because every time you close your eyes, every time something slips out of focus you conjure up a thousand more ways you could have protected her?

"Because I still love her dammit! Vala she was everything to me!" he stood once more, shaking, tears springing to his eyes but they would never fall, self-hatred and chastisement his only companion in a whirlpool of thoughts and feelings he could not control, "she was my _wife,"_

"How can you be one person one moment and another the next? Why can't you treat me… like one of your friends at the very least?"

"Because your not one" he felt every muscle in his body tense, each one protesting under years of emotional torment "now… Vala, just go"

"She doesn't matter! She's dead, she isn't coming back, you couldn't protect her but you can at least be there for _me_!"

Fury like she had never seen from Daniel blazed in his eyes, burning behind the tears that rose and the pain that flickered across his face as he devastating words hit home. She thought for a moment he would say something but he simply walked from the room, leaving her alone, her eyes strayed to the abandoned car keys on the desk and she snatched them up, leaving the office also. The lamp stayed on.

_Author's Notes: Chapters 13, 14 & 15 have already been written and I am giving them final alterations, I know ooc is there but I am really trying, hopefully, situations permitting, everything will go back to 'normal' as it were, soon. Please review!_

_Next Chapter: Daniel has to face the consequences of his actions._


	13. Chitty, Chitty, Bang… Crash?

_Author's Notes: In response to the review left by 'Thor for President' thank you so much:) Yeah I am working on some original works at the moment but its taking a while, I hope to one day get it published :P (lovin' the name btw)_

Chapter 13: Chitty, Chitty, Bang… Crash?

Low blow. That had been a terminally low blow. How dare she do that? Get involved in situations that occurred before she had even known of his existence. She could not; at least she didn't have the _right _to judge Sha're and the events surrounding her untimely demise.

Once the initial rush of storming out mid way through an argument had died down he realised, although he had been walking with purpose he had no real inclination of where he was going. And why was _he _the one leaving _his _office not her?

* * *

The keys were cold in her palm, but were slowly warming against her body heat.

"Woah!" Cam stopped just short of slamming straight into her, concern obvious when he asked "you all right?"

"I'm fine," she added a smile for good measure against her lively tone, now was the time where all those years of manipulation and deceit could finally come into play once more and she had no reason to _not _do it now. She couldn't go off world, she couldn't talk to Daniel, everyone else's pity and concern was sickening and the fuss made over her was suffocating.

Cam nodded "well I have to…" he gestured down the corridor and gave her a half smile "so…"

She stepped aside so he passed and then continued towards the elevator. Heading for the surface.

* * *

"Daniel?" Sam pressed as he entered her lab, seemingly furious "what's wrong?"

"Everything," he said pseudo happy "everything is wrong!" he looked about ready to explode and both Jack and Sam cast wary glances at each other.

"What happened?" Jack tried, he didn't get a reply.

"Are you okay?" Sam attempted to continue conversation and alleviate some of his frustration.

"Define 'okay'," he challenged wearily.

"That bad huh?" Jack relaxed back in his seat opposite Sam's workbench.

Daniel gave him a sarcastic look.

"Why don't you go home?" Sam leaned forward on to her desk, palms against the edge "I'll tell General Landry if you want,"

"Sure, why not?" he was past caring at the moment, he left the lab with far less fury than he had entered.

Sam leaned over her work, scrutinising every minute detail, checking the calculations and then looking at it again.

"So what's the deal with these… Katar?" Jack started, picking up a pencil and doodling absently on the corner of a piece of paper.

"What about them?" she removed a tiny control crystal and held it under the microscope, absently pulling the paper away from him with a smile.

"What exactly happened to Daniel and Vala?"

Remembering her brief explanation on the phone Sam put the pieces down, Jack had practically put the phone down there and then when she had uttered the words 'Daniel' 'married' and 'Vala's pregnant' "the Katar people were desperate, they needed somewhere to stay, a host,"

"The more I hear about them the more I think they sound like the Goa'uld. Oh how I loved those guys," a quirky little smile and his voice practically dripping sarcasm.

She gave him a wry smile, looking up when Daniel entered the lab again "what-"

"Can we check CCTV for my office and the parking lot?" he said tersely, adding "please?" as an afterthought.

Sam gave him a baffled look, and moved round the desk "sure, what's wrong?" she lead the way out of her office, Jack on her heels with Daniel walking along side her.

"My car is gone,"

"What?" Sam exclaimed as the entered the elevator, "have you reported it to General Landry?"

"I left the keys in my office," he elaborated "on the desk," he mumbled in response.

"So…?"

"I left Vala in there as well," the elevator stopped and Sam moved down the corridor, opening the door to the correct room and greeted the airman inside, who stood up immediately as Jack followed suit.

Jack smirked at the back of Daniel's head as he stood next to Sam as she took the airman's seat and pressed a serious of keys, bringing up the camera feed for Daniel's office and the parking lot, rewinding them just slightly.

Daniel and Vala argued on screen for a couple of minutes before Daniel left hurriedly and Vala was left stood there, her hand moved onto the desk and picked up the keys.

The other video showed her heading for Daniel's car, and getting in to it. Moments later the engine started, it backed out of it's place and headed for the exit.

Jack clapped Daniel on the back, he smiled knowingly "never leave your car keys with a woman you've just pissed off Daniel, it never ends well,"

"I'm sure she'll be fine Daniel," Sam assured him.

"The car?" Jack asked incredulously.

"I was referring to Vala sir,"

Daniel was silent, another thing stolen, taken and most likely destroyed, first his life, now it was going to be the car. Couldn't she just shoot him in the head? It would be so much easier.

"C'mon," Jack squeezed his shoulder gently "I'll give you a ride,"

Daniel sighed, "fine," he breathed exasperatedly, "just… fine,"

* * *

The sky was clear, Daniel noted as he slid into the passenger seat of the truck, the seatbelt clicked as he did it up and he stared out of the window.

"I take it you and her aren't the best of friends?" Jack eased the truck out and spun the wheel lazily as he turned out onto the public roads.

"Vala _was_ a friend," he stated, "then Nanith and Akhiyaa came and…"

Jack nodded, accepting the bid for silence graciously, or at least terminating that subject of conversation as moments later he tried conversation again "you got beer?"

"Huh?" he shook his head to clear it "yeah, probably,"

"I'll swing by the store just in case, we can order pizza and see if a we can grab a game,"

"Whatever Jack," his reply was disinterested, he didn't care, pizza, beer, hockey games? All normal, all acceptable and everything he had missed; companionable silence, SG1 together as one, a team, a unit, a _family. _This family was loosing what it once had though. Jack was, or should be, in Washington, Mitchell had seemingly joined in, Vala too, a baby on the way and they were turning into their very own soap opera.

The sound of sirens and flashing lights caught Jack's attention, his eyes turning away from the road for a second to fix on the source of the clamour. He went to continue ahead when Daniel stopped him.

"Turn right," he said.

"Daniel we'll be heading straight for a-" then he saw it, illuminated by the glaring headlights of the police car stationed there; the number plate.

The tires spun in the mud as he screeched to a halt at the outskirts of the scene, Daniel was already out of the car by the time he killed the engine and got out also.

"Sirs, I'm going to have to ask you to leave-"

Jack glanced at the police officer "General Jack O'Neill, US Airforce," he stated in response.

"Yes sir, but you see-"

"Jack!" a panicked cry from over by the wreckage had them both turning their heads. Jack clasped the officer's arm for a second before jogging over, kneeling in the dirt by the car.

The car was the right way up now, thankfully, although judging by the state of the roof it had rolled a couple of times before stopping, the windscreen was cracked and the drivers windows was smashed to pieces, shards still embedded in the metal work.

At least two of the wheels barely looked attached and the incessant flashing lights lit up the car's dark interior with ever round they had. The dashboard had collapsed, the steering wheel twisted and rammed down in the lap of the person in the driver's seat.

Vala was unconscious, at least Jack hoped to God that's _all _she was.

He had seen blood in his lifetime. Far too much as far as he was concerned. Droplets forming on the grazed knees of his son as he wept his shock out huddled in his father's lap, too men and women under his service with it gushing from their chests, pooling around them in a shock of red-on-white long after they were dead. He'd even seen it flooding the carpet around the body of said son, it had soaked him to the skin and stained the pristine sheets of the hospital ER.

No matter when saw it and whom it belonged to it still wasn't easy. In fact, if anything it was harder. Memories of people he had failed hit him with the same intensity they always did when he saw such a precious fluid spread so liberally over everything in sight. He found his cell phone was in his hand before he even knew what he was doing. Rattling of their location and glowering at the police officers that were trying to get them to move away from the wreck.

Ending the call with the news that there would be a med team and an ambulance with them in five minutes his eyes shifted to Daniel who was as white as he'd ever seen him and pulling fruitlessly at the mangled metal that held Vala inside. Dear God that woman was pregnant... and the blood...

"Daniel" he said, his voice shaking in his throat "Daniel" a little stronger.

Daniel ignored him, yelping outright when the shattered glass of the driver's window sliced straight through his palm, his blood mixing with that already flooding the car interior.

"Dammit Daniel!" he pushed forward as Daniel ignored his own pain and once more tried to shift the door that separated him from Vala. Knowing without needing to contemplate it that Daniel wasn't listening to a word he was saying he placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder, reeling back when he jumped like a startled rabbit. Ignoring it he took a firm hold of the door, one hand in the handle and one wrapped around the frame. Daniel noted what he was doing and seized a similar grip on the door "...two... three..." he pulled at the door, wincing as the metal bit his skin but did not break it.

The door creaked and screeched as it was wedged open, screaming its protest. Jack barely had it secured back before Daniel released it and half crawled in to the wreckage, one arm beneath her knees, the other around her shoulders he eased her out. Laying her on the ground, he pressed two fingers to her neck and Jack saw him visibly react. It was as if he was holding his own breath, stock still and unmoving for that fraction of a second as hit him; there was no pulse.

_Author's Notes: Drama, drama, looks like Jack jinxed it:P_

_Next Chapter: It's a shame that it's only after disaster that you are prepared to admit that they meant far more to you than even you realised. _


	14. Broken Hallelujah

_Author's Notes: I was gonna wait another few days before updating but I decided that now felt like a good time lol. So here you go._

Chapter 14: Broken Hallelujah

Daniel shook himself from the daze and tilted her head back, wove his fingers together, one palm flat to Vala's now unmoving chest and pressed, hard.

Jack could hear mumbled counting under Daniel's breath "...two... three... four... five..." one hand cupped beneath her chin and the other atop her head, his mouth locked onto her's forcing air into Vala's unresponsive lungs. Two fingers to the neck, no pulse "... three... four... five..." his hands slipped and slid in the blood caked clothing, it was sticky at the same time as wet and there was far, far too much of it. He pulled back from her mouth again, his eyes fading from brilliant blue to a saddened and desperate grey as her heart still refused to beat on it's own.

Furious at his sitting there doing nothing Jack knocked Daniel's hands aside as they went to continue the compressions, their eyes met for barely half a second before Jack took over that task, pausing every five counts for Daniel to breathe into her mouth. Twice they tried before a faint flicker of a pulse was detected, no sooner had the ripple of relief hit them were they pushed aside as medics from the SGC, Carolyn included took over.

"I need to get her on oxygen," Carolyn cried, checking the pulse for herself, as the nurse, ahead of her, attached the mask to Vala's ashen face, brushing her hair aside. "Ten CCs of epinephrine," she stated, inserting the needle into blood slick skin, the drug administered and the needle removed, Carolyn absently rubbing a thumb over the pin prick "let's get her on the stretcher people. One… two… and lift," she and two nurses lifted Vala onto the stretcher, the first nurse held the oxygen mask tightly over Vala's face, squeezing the pump to steady beat.

She did not spare a glance for the two men stood under the night sky. Jack's black shirt showing next to no sign of the blood that adorned it but Daniel's light one soaked, his hands held in front of him as if they belonged to someone else. The latter's knees buckled and the older man steadied him, guiding him back to his car and allowing him to fall into the passenger seat.

Daniel was peripherally aware of Jack easing him into a car, but he neither offered to help nor fought the process. He stared straight in front of him, as police milled around the crash site, taking notes and shooing away journalists who were already trying to take reports on the accident. The only movement he made was to blink owlishly at Jack as the man sighed heavily, leant across him and took the seatbelt, fastening it with a resounding click.

"You okay Danny?" Jack's voice was soft and firm and Daniel habitually nodded his head.

Knowing he was lying – hell, _he _wasn't exactly fine and dandy so how on earth Daniel thought he could be he did _not _know – Jack turned the ignition and reversed back onto the road. Driving far enough that the wail of the sirens could not be heard he pulled up at the side of the road again, four way indicators on, he turned in his seat, "Daniel," he tried, to his surprise he was answered.

"Jack," _God, what have I done?_

"Daniel," _She's fine Danny, it's not your fault._

"Take me to the base Jack," he whispered, his hands lay in his lap, sticky and red, the gash on his palm deep, bloody and swelling.

Jack nodded, then he reached onto the back seat, casually dropping the rag into Daniel's slackened hands "don't bleed all over the car," he deadpanned. An odd sense of grateful relief washing over him as Daniel finally moved, clasping his hand into a fist with the rag in it's grasp to stem the flow.

Daniel was numb. He had to be numb. He dug his fingernails into the cloth, wincing as he felt the sharp sting the increased pressure caused his palm, he shivered and it was immediately counteracted by the blast of hot air from the radiator as Jack instantly flicked the switch to activate it.

The soft purr of the engine cut out and Jack pulled the keys from the ignition "come on," he said, unspoken words hung between them thick and heavy but none as thick as the fog that clouded every thought, every sense, and every feeling Daniel had.

Daniel unclipped the belt with his uninjured hand and slid from the truck, standing beside it as Jack locked it as if on autopilot, every little detail seemed important.

* * *

The corridor's of the SGC were quiet until the rattling of a gurney and heels on hard floor broke the gentle silence with startling intensity "pulse is slow, breathing's shallow," Carolyn reported, running alongside, her stethoscope patting against her chest as it hung from her neck.

"Dear God…" Cam paused, staring straight past Sam who whirled round, jaw dropping and paling considerably she hurried to catch up with then med team, Cam and Teal'c on her heels.

"Carolyn what happened?" she exclaimed, her eyes drawn to Vala's face.

"Not now Colonel," Carolyn said and that accompanied by the look on her face for them to realise that there genuinely wasn't time to explain it.

The gurney rolled into the infirmary and the IV bag hooked to the pole, rigged up to a heart monitor that instantly gave alarming readings. "Pulse is faint, BP's eighty-five over twenty and dropping," Carolyn reported "breathing's – she's flat lining!" she bolted over to the wall and hit the alarm. "Code blue in the infirmary!" she moved back to the bed, starting compressions manually "someone get me the panels!" the trolley was by her in seconds, she seized the panels,"charging… two-fifty and clear!"

* * *

"Daniel!" seeing the blood Sam took a step forward but stopped when she saw him staring right past her, through into the infirmary, she turned her head just in time to see Vala's body thrust up against the sudden electrical surge in her body then thud back onto the bed.

­_"Charging again… and clear!" _

Cam said not a word and immediately went to help Jack support the once more collapsing Daniel into a seat against the wall, facing away from the scene unfolding in the infirmary.

"What happened?" Cam asked as Daniel leant his head back against the cool wall of the mountain corridor, swallowing against the nausea that was rising.

"She crashed his car. Police were on scene when we arrived," Jack said, hands jammed deep into his pockets.

* * *

Carolyn could feel a panic rising in her chest, the dulled sense she had learnt to mask whilst in medical school. The feeling of holding a person's life in your hands, of knowing you were their only chance, it didn't make you feel right and warm, as many seemed to think. It was cold, a heavy weight, you weren't a God, you weren't a miracle worker. You were a simple human being; it reminded you of how weak you were, how useless and ineffectual you were to this planet. Save one life and risk a thousand more, one man's born two more die, but sometimes, sometimes things changed, you made them better, oh how she hoped it was one of those times...

"Come on Vala," she rubbed the panels together again, resisting the urge to tap her foot as the defibrillator took a seeming millennia to charge again, "clear!" she cried, the electric current surged through the woman's body. A sigh of relief was barely permitted escape from her lips as the panels were replaced, "we've got her… get her prepped for surgery,"

* * *

Daniel slumped into the chair, tense muscles relaxing upon hearing Carolyn's voice _"we've got her,"_

It was so human, so simple, a car crash, an accident, mundane, incredibly … normal. No Goa'uld, no Prior's, no Ori, no alien technology, his car. It was just his car and she had… she had…

"Daniel!" Sam exclaimed crouching in front of him "Daniel calm down," she cupped his face in her hands, short shallow breaths puffed out between his lips as his eyes met hers with indifferent reverence.

"I'm fine Sam," he whispered, pushing her hands away, giving them a soft squeeze as he did so.

"Teal'c can you get some..." she broke off, smiling at the jaffa who already held a tray of peroxide, gauze and bandages beside her. "Thank you," she said, taking a seat next to Daniel's and moving his injured hand to her lap – was it that her hands were hot or was he just really cold?

Tipping the alcohol on to the gauze she pressed it firmly onto his palm, tightening her hold on his hand as he tried to pull away on reflex. After a moment his fingers curled over her hand and she let them rest there a moment; letting herself be his anchor for a second before removing the gauze and wiping the blood away with another piece, cleaning it just enough for a temporary strapping to be put in place.

She worked in silence, focussing on the task she had undertaken… around the back, between the thumb and forefinger, across the palm and round the wrist, around the side, across the back, between the thumb…

"Thanks," he whispered, taking his hand back as she finished, he took the glass of water Cam held out to him and sipped it slowly, the cool liquid and oasis on the desert that was his throat.

"We've got her,"

Darkness around them like a muffling blanket, imagining the car hurtling from the road… she would have screamed… the car swerved, hit the curb and rolled…

"_We've got her," _

It was his fault. If he hadn't walked out, if he had just listened to her… they were in this together, it was his baby too… the baby! The baby couldn't have survived that, no definitely not.

Three times.

Three times her heart had stopped, three times it had, had to be artificially pumped, breath forced into lungs that refused to work. Each breath, each beat of her heart, every second that they had stopped was another fraction of time in which the baby would have been deprived on the very things it relied on it's mother to give. He should have been there.

_"We've got her,"_

If only he had listened, if he'd cared, if he'd not locked away his heart in a box of steel, chained it shut and thrown away the key. If, if, if… too many ifs, to many chances, to many roads and paths, a hundred doors and a hundred windows, each lead to different scenarios, to possibilities, thousands of universes, millions of realities, occurrences, and outcomes.

The chair smashed against the wall, the clatter of metal legs against concrete walls ceased all conversation, all words and thoughts being passed between the minds of those people staring at him with so much concern, so much pity. He didn't want pity, or sorrow, tears to be shed, or condolences. He _was _to blame, it _was_ his fault.

His fingers raked through his hair and the cut to his palm protested quietly and he ignored it, tugging relentlessly at the short brown strands. He jerked his elbow out of Sam's reach when she went to touch it, startling her when her eyes met his. She looked upset, he should tell her sorry. Same as he _should _have told Vala the truth, he _should _have been there.

Should, would, can, if, maybe, possibly.

Uncertainties like a plague and its relentless clawing at his heart and his mind like a hungry tiger desperate for its first meal in months. Sick to the stomach yet beyond being nauseated, fatigued yet running on adrenaline.

He lashed out at the wall next to him in an abrupt fluctuation of movements, his fists flying from his hair and one into the wall, his knuckles crunching against the solidity of it but he made no noise of pain. A hand on his shoulder had him whipping round, his other fist ready to make contact, but it was caught in that same hand that had touched his shoulder. Jack's hand, he turned, their eyes met and no words were needed.

"I do not believe violence will help Daniel Jackson. Your wife will be fine,"

Jack glanced back from Teal'c a moment. Violent. Daniel the linguist, the one with words and with hope, the optimist, the heart and soul of the team he had lead proudly for seven long years, where was that Daniel?

Daniel swallowed, "you don't know that," he muttered, tearing away from Jack and stalking down the corridor, away from their pity and misplaced concern.

The men's rest room was not far and he slammed the door behind him, headed for the sinks and began ripping off the bandage Sam had only just put on, hands shaking with the effort it took not to collapse but completing their task to the best of their ability.

Twisting the tap furiously, he thrust his injured hand into the torrent it released, hissing and holding it in place at the wrist with his free hand, squeezing as hard as he could. Watching the swirls of red dance in the basin of water as it filled. Fury dissipating he turned off the tap and stood there, hands poised over the pink tinged water; he did not glance up into the mirror for he knew what he would see.

Moments passed and he plunged his hands into the water, scrubbing of the drying blood, scraping angrily at his fingernails but it would not seem to clean; he couldn't keep his hands still long enough to finish a normally easy task.

The wound had reopened under the water and he pressed his thumb down into it, the pain it caused made him gasp but the pressure relieved the sting. It pounded and throbbed to a beat far slower than his heart which was thumping against his ribcage like a drunken drummer.

_Twisting, turning and rolling on its side down the embankment, the windows shattered and cracked, she screamed and released the wheel, shielding her head on pure instinct… "… She's flat lining!"_

Grief is like a drug that heightens your senses and yet still makes you numb.

He did look up then, his face ashen and her blood and in his mixed with sweat that made his fringe damp to his forehead. The eyes that stared back at him were gaunt and grey. Another spontaneous spur of emotion that was too powerful to control and fist met glass like bullet from a gun, it shattered and cracked – like the windows of the car, beyond repair, beyond saving, just like she was to him – he stared in shock at his other bloodied hand. Now he could understand the need to hurt and damage.

Shards buried deep in his hand eerily reminiscent to those that dug into his gut every time he closed his eyes. Hissing in pain, as he began to regain some sense of control, he hurried over to the paper towel dispenser, using a handful to stem the flow of blood on both hands. Clasped together, palm to palm.

His knees buckled and he slid down the wall, legs straight out before him he rested his forehead against the back of his hand and allowed himself to cry.

_Author's Notes: So Vala's the one in hospital but I'm feeling just a little sorry for Danny right __about now..._

_Next Chapter: As Vala fights for her life Daniel sits vigil and makes his decision._


	15. Never Ends

_Author's Notes: I officially hate MP3 players, I had this chapter along with the next one, my plan and a scene I had spent nearly two hours writing for later in the fiction all stored on my computer. I had to transfer every document on the computer onto the MP3 because my hard drive was having serious issues (my computer, the one that isn't Internet enabled) and guess what… the MP3 gave out, kaput, useless, ceased to function properly! No computer will recognise it because there is now, after I managed to rig it up to work sort of its suddenly claiming there is a 'I/O' device error :( Thank God I had Chapter 15 printed out…_

Chapter 15: Never Ends

"How is she?" Cam asked, getting to his feet instantly as Carolyn came out, peeling of latex gloves and lowering her mask "is she okay?"

Sam and Teal'c flanked the Colonel and Jack stayed seated, his only indication of expectancy was the change in the direction of his gaze.

"The front of the vehicle was crushed on to her legs, the metal folded inside the car and seems to have caused multiple lacerations across her body. Her shoulder has dislocated and that same arm and wrist were fractured in three places," hazel eyes skimmed across the group in front of her, "she's on a ventilator at the moment,"

"The baby?" Sam asked, worry etched onto her face, they didn't need that, _Daniel _didn't need that; knowing him the way she did he was probably blaming himself for Vala's state as it was, the loss of the baby as well…

Carolyn swallowed "it's too early to tell," she said sadly "it really is,"

"What chance does it have?" Jack got to his feet, moving slowly to stand behind Sam, waiting patiently for an answer.

"That's-"

"Carolyn," Sam breathed in earnest "please,"

"Unofficially the chances of it having survived that are less that thirty-five percent, if that." News was so hard to break, elation and joy and relief were welcomed, the smiles on the faces of loving friends and family were enough to send you sky high when you tell them everything was going to be okay and you could genuinely mean it. The tears that brutal truths and cruel realities made you guilty, made you hurt.

"Can I see her?" Daniel's low voice came from behind them.

Carolyn opened her mouth to protest but relented "yes you can Doctor Jackson. She's over there, we don't want to move her for now," she gestured then frowned "what happened to your hands?" her eyes were drawn to the blood stained paper towels still clasped tightly.

"I'm fine," he muttered, slipping past her, refusing to look at anyone as he glided over to the cubicle with the curtains drawn round it, he slid between them silently.

The bed sheets were perfectly white, her dark blue hospital gown vibrant against its background. Pasty grey skin cleaned of all the blood that had stained it, semi damp hair framed her peaceful face. Dusky eyelashes against ivory cheeks, deathly still in their integrity.

He glanced only briefly behind him to ensure there was in fact a chair there before he sat down, the hard plastic stiff against his back but he barely noticed it, only shifting mildly on reflex.

The nurse adjusting the IV attached to Vala's hand smiled pleasantly at him before leaving, moment's later Carolyn entered, her arms laden with first aid equipment, another chair brought in by the nurse who left immediately afterwards.

"Doctor Jackson?" she pressed lightly as she took the seat.

He looked at her, eyes wide and with only casual indifference indicating their grief.

"I can see to your injuries in here if you want?"

He looked down at his bloody hands and released the paper towels as if they suddenly stung to hold on.

She smiled sympathetically at him, taking the hand injured in the attempts to lever Vala from the destroyed vehicle she took the towels away and poured alcohol onto the gauze before pressing it gently onto the wound. "Colonel Carter says she already dressed this," she mentioned, a little concerned when his gaze simply averted to the still form in the bed next to them, "I don't think you need stitches," she said, examining it closely. "Although the dressing will need to be changed tomorrow I should think," she placed the new gauze pad down and bandaged it in silence, taping it down she started on his other hand.

_Tumble, twist and turn, foot on brake, tires screech against tarmac… roll, crash, break and shatter… blood seeping like water through the cushioned seating and pooling around her, staining her clothes… baby… she…his…their baby…_

"Is she going to be okay?"

She squeezed his hand for a second as she finished dressing it and gathered the bloody towels and gauze "Daniel," she breathed softly.

He turned his head, his expression desperate and self-tormenting.

"This isn't you're fault," she chided him, "you did everything right,"

"I gave her CPR," he deadpanned "if I'd done everything right that wouldn't have been necessary,"

"No one blames you,"

He ignored her, then repeated himself "is she going to be okay?"

"I don't know," she admitted, "the injuries she's sustained are extensive and-"

"The baby?" his voice caught in his throat, a baby, a sweet, innocent little human being, relying on her to survive.

"It's too early to tell," she needed to get out of here, the closer she got more it hurt, the more she itched to do something, to try and fix what she knew she could not. The only medicine now was time. She could pump Vala full of drugs; morphine would take the edge off the pain, sedative would leave her in the throes of dreamless sleep, epinephrine could aid her if her heart should stop again but other than catalysts she could not make everything all right and she hated that.

Daniel nodded; he did not acknowledge her leaving and refused the nurse's offer of some pain relief.

It's a shame that it's only after disaster that you can think the thoughts you'd wished you had. That you realised that even though words can sometimes be even more hurtful than a nuclear warhead they are also inadequate to try and articulate thoughts and dreams and matters of the heart.

Things are said in the heat of the moment that are not meant afterwards. Insults are spat out far faster than any compliment ever could. You can hurt and you can damage so much but you do not care because on some level it makes you feel better than wallowing in self pity and recriminations.

Her chest rose and fell in exaggeration, tubes ran from her nose and mouth and the machine that monitored her heartbeat, beeped without respite, a constant in a deafening silence. The rhythm had a faithful likeness to that of a haunted lullaby. Lulling him into a trance he had fought ever since seeing his car mangled the way it was.

_Need, want, take, steal, have, kiss, kiss, kiss… fire, fire burning bright, eyes like crystals, touch like velvet … precious like time, beauty like treasure, passion like need…_

He felt coldness against the parts of his hand that remained unhidden by the dressings; his hand now held hers and he did not recollect taking it. He did not move it though.

Just holding her hand calmed him some what, the erratic pummelling of his heart slowed, even if only marginally. Maybe it was high time he just gave in, admitted it and stopped pretending, putting on an ill-tempered show for himself and everyone around him. They could see through the facade anyway, the lies.

He should say something, speak to her, she might hear him, and she might not. But it was worth a try, "I'm sorry," he whispered "I'm sorry,"

He fell silent once more.

* * *

"Why don't you guys head home?" Jack suggested casually "it's getting late," his eyes were closed and his arms folded as he sat in the now righted chair that Daniel had thrown in his fit of despair hours ago.

"Sir I really think-" Sam started, her fingernails had taken the brunt of her nerves, her usual careful manicure she maintained with far more effort than she cared to realise was ruined.

"That's an order Carter," he opened his eyes and smirked to soften the command "I'll see you tomorrow,"

Sam opened her mouth to protest again but a "yes sir," cam out instead and she looked to Cam who shrugged and both they and Teal'c started towards the elevators.

* * *

The curtain was drawn across the cubicle shielding its occupants from the outside world with the bare minimum of protection. Daniel sat stoic in one of the chairs next to the bed where Vala lay, the melodic beeping and the sounds of the machinery monitoring and aiding the young woman an offence to his ears, "Daniel,"

"I told her I could never love her Jack," Daniel sounded exhausted but did not turn to look at him.

Jack thought carefully about his answer "do you?" he didn't truly expect a reply and was proved right in his assumption when he did not receive one, he let himself stand there on the outside of the situation he had no hope of understanding. Sure when he did not understand the game he made his own rules but now he did not want too, he'd rather be skirting the perimeter than be deeply involved. He'd watch everyone's six. He cleared his throat "I'm gonna go home now, I sent the others a minute ago. You staying here?" he knew better than to try and tear him away.

The anguish and pain in Daniel's eyes when he'd held his fist to prevent it making an impact were far stronger than he expected. So strong he wasn't even sure Daniel could comprehend them himself.

Daniel let his lack of response be his answer and Jack left.

Did he love her? As a friend surely, same as he loved all his friends, but was there something there? Something he hadn't noticed? This hurt, yes, watching her like this; vulnerable, weak. But would he feel the same if it were Sam, or Jack, Teal'c, even Mitchell in this situation? No, the voice in the back of his head answered, no you wouldn't, yes it would hurt, it always did, but not like this.

He looked down at their joined hands, took a breath, then back at her face "I'm sorry Vala," he said for the third time, "I… I guess…" how to say it? She couldn't hear him, it was okay, it was all right, and she wouldn't remember what he said here… right? "I guess I was scared," a renewed confidence "this entire situation, you and me, you've got to admit this is all just… it's hard." He swallowed, it didn't help "I don't know what I'm supposed to do," he ducked his head then looked back up again "but then you don't either,"

It was wrong to think she could, think that she knew what she was doing and that she could walk the broken road by herself, with the same confidence and air of invincibility she always had. No, he'd left her to fumble blindly in the dark with no sense of direction, no guide and none of the necessary help. "I blamed you," he admitted "it was easier like that,"

_Smash, shatter; break, torn and broken…_

"I'm not going to say I love you," he spoke in a murmurred whisper "I don't know if I do, I can tell you I care about you, and that you're not in this alone."

Hair-brained stunts! Always risking her life, taking that chance, imagining herself unworthy, unneeded, that feeling was something he could relate to, or had been once, albeit he had, had people who drummed it into him at every known opportunity, who had insisted he was valuable. Who screamed, shouted, ranted and raved every time he had pulled something ridiculously insane. She did not have that… well he called it luxury _now_.

"Doctor Jackson?"

He jumped, turning his head as Carolyn peered into the cubicle, her expression showed no indication that she had heard anything he had just said, "I'm not leaving," he declared.

"I wasn't going to ask you too," she answered, "you need to change and to rest though,"

He looked down at his shirt, pale blue smattered with black, sticky, drying blood.

_Jack's shirt was dark, it hid the blood, his was light and it didn't. Couldn't mask his mistake, his stupidity, his error…_

"I'm fine," he choked "I'll be fine,"

"There's a bed free right here," she coaxed "I can get you some scrubs and you can shower in the morning. No one else is here, we can leave the curtains open and you can sleep,"

Bed, sleep and rest, his body protesting against today's excursions, adrenaline was good while it lasted, dulled the pain, made you faster, stronger… it's effects bared a minute likeness to that of a Goa'uld sarcophagus. Once it had been taken away the residue was like a narcotic.

The tiniest nod indicated his consent and she smiled, drawing the curtains back as he got to his feet. Letting Vala's hand slip from his a part of his was hoping she would wake and say his name, talk, squeeze his fingers and refuse to let go, make some comment but she stayed silent. He allowed Carolyn to usher him over to the bed next to Vala's, that now had crisp clean scrubs folded neatly on the foot of it, without complaint.

_Author's Notes: Chapter 16 will have to be rewritten from scratch now! I'll see if I get enough time this week, I got loads of computer and file sorting to do now… _

_Next Chapter: Visitors to Vala's bedside see how many people Vala has made an impact on. Jack's outside opinion is given._


	16. Empty Places

_Author's Notes: The scene with Walter in it was written on specific request from Tru Skye who has been a great help with this fiction and endured many an hour of my rather disorganised, poorly explained plans. She is also a brilliant graphics designer and has made some pretty amazing stuff to go with this fiction, if you wish to see any of it please don't hesitate to ask._

Chapter 16: Empty Places

When Daniel woke it wasn't exactly late, in fact, glancing at his watch he saw it to be nearly ten, but it was still quiet, nurses puttered here and there but aside from him and Vala there were no other patients.

Flat on his back on the bed it was easy to turn his head and see Vala as still as she had been the night before, still pale, still asleep, and still too close to being not there at all.

The nurse tending to Vala's IV ignored him, busying herself with caring for her patient.

_Sirens flashed blue and it was bright enough to light up the entire area without a doubt. The police officer's confusion at when an Airforce General was showing interest in an everyday car accident, and that an unidentified man had managed to slip past all the officers on scene to get to the car. No explanations had been needed… or maybe they had and he hadn't listened._

He glanced down at his heavily bandaged hands; yes they stung if he moved but not enough to warrant such a severe dressing, but last night, or this morning, or whenever it was, he hadn't cared. He still didn't.

"Good morning Doctor Jackson," Carolyn smiled at him, jerking him out of his reverie with a hand on his leg "you feeling okay this morning?"

He nodded "I'm fine – any news-" he didn't even have to gesture towards her.

"I'm afraid not," sadness crept into her eyes… did it mean what he thought it meant… was Vala really that… this was his entire fault!

"Why don't you go take a shower?" she prompted "you might feel better afterwards,"

He turned his head to look back at Vala again; what had he done?

"Daniel?" she tried again.

"I'll go," he assured her "I think… I think I need some space," he sat up to prove to her he was indeed going to move and she patted his leg once and then went back into her office.

* * *

Space. Spaceship, spaceman, spacebar, space-time-continuum, spacious, spatial, spacecraft, space explorer, even _spacemonkey. _Space.

Just space: the boundless expanse in which all objects exist and move, a portion of which is an empty chasm to an extent of which one can take up residence in the intervening area that takes position between one object and another.

Empty spaces, full spaces, gaps, holes, caverns, ravines, valleys, all spaces. All an 'intervening area that took position between one object and another' He didn't need space.

Space was what he felt now, a gaping hole in his heart and his chest, in his head. The pit of his stomach felt heavy with lead, sunken and full with everything that had once filled those spaces.

She was… how? How had she gotten in so close? Become to mean so much when all the while he was standing there, screaming that he couldn't do it, couldn't let her in because she just… she was… _she just was_?

He thought he needed space, needed to be away but when he was, sitting here, on the surface, with children playing in the park, trees green and bright, boughs full of leaves ducking low over each other, the sky an iridescent blue almost cerulean he knew he didn't.

It was worse here, the feeling of loss and of self-torment. He'd done this, he'd hurt her and he'd left the keys there, he'd let her take the car, let himself push her so far away with no word of explanation that she will have just wanted to know.

But that didn't mean he didn't mean what he'd said before, she didn't have the right to…

"_She's dead Daniel!"_

Sha're had been his life, his world, his reason for being. Was it possible that someone else could take that position, not replace her but mean enough that it would heal the void, patch it over, and not make it deeper?

He'd joined the Stargate Programme for her, had let her get kidnapped, hurt, taken host and murdered all for curiosities sake.

Tiny things, simple things that her death had aroused a new way of seeing the world in him; to see it through the eyes of an outsider. He could travel to other worlds, see their technologies with awe and amazement and yet it had taken one of the most traumatic events of his life to realise that he had the same thing. Just in different forms.

He'd shown Sam a pen, explained to her that although they knew of the Stargate and the DHD long before the people on earth ever had the Abydonians had never seen the normal, every-day ballpoint he used without even thinking about it.

Vala saw that, saw beauty in a world he had grown used to, a world he had seen the good, the bad and the awful in, the world he'd help save time and time again without batting an eyelid as to what it would cost him. A pen didn't amaze her no, the world itself did.

Things such as movies and television, even the irritating ones, the ones he loved, the ones Jack quoted and Teal'c had watched repetitively. Movie nights, pizza, beer and hockey, it had been simple, normal, average to him for so long that he had forgotten the simple wonders.

Artefacts, 'rocks' ancient scriptures of long dead cultures; the accounts of men, women and children of their lives; the town hooker, the taxman, the thief, the sick and the injured.

Hearts poured into diaries as they mourned the loss of mothers, fathers, siblings and friends to age or to sickness or to Goa'uld, or Ori.

They amazed him, they told stories, legends and myths. Alien items had so much to tell new things to try new languages, beliefs and ways of life to be discovered.

Sha're was amazed by pens.

Vala was amazed by the world.

He was amazed by them both.

New places, new pathways, roads and doors not tried. Windows locked with barred escape routes because it was too confusing to try and walk through them. Strange really; jumping in front of a gun he could do without a second thought, considering emotional attachment running deeper than something purely platonic? That scared him oddly enough.

Was Vala worth the risk? Worth the heartbreak and pain, the pressure and the sheer hard work it would take to get them both through this?

Maybe she was.

* * *

Walter Harriman was nervous.

The infirmary was quiet and the ventilator hissed and creaked in the corner of Vala's cubicle, her hands a top the covers were unmoving in the deathly slumber she stayed locked in.

He shifted his hold on the items in his hand; no one was around to see him.

He cleared his throat as he stood by the alien woman's bed "uh… hi," he started, "down at the control room… we… we heard what happened… we don't… I don't… none of us really know you… Vala," he paused, glancing around, still no one to hear him, "here," he thrust out his hand, a bouquet of carnations held over her still body.

He pulled them back to his chest when he realised how foolish a move that was; she was unconscious, of course kept there under controlled circumstances, but no where near capable of taking and accepting a gift.

"I'll uh…" he lay them on the nightstand carefully, giving a small bob of his head as he did so, "so you and… and Doctor Jackson… I hope the baby hasn't… I mean… is… we, the other technicians and I… cookies! Sandy made cookies… she didn't know what kind you liked but she does know what kind Doctor Jackson likes and as you seem to like all types of food and you like Doctor Jackson…" he placed the Tupperware container full of the mentioned confectionary down next to the flowers "well there here if… when… I mean – Doctor Jackson!"

Daniel jumped and looked up as Walter cried out his name in shock, he wondered for a brief moment what the technician was doing in the infirmary, but then he saw the flowers, and the box of cookies, slowly he replied "Sergeant,"

"I need to… there could be a team coming in any minute! I have to get back to the control room, excuse me sir," he slipped hastily passed Daniel who raised his eyebrow at the man in confusion but he did not say a word.

* * *

It became apparent by midday that his presence in the infirmary was off putting too many of the visitors there. Many people came and went, some even went as far with the charade as to go and talk to Carolyn as if the had sought her out specifically to discuss everything from mathematical possibilities to the score of last night's soccer game.

But even then he did not relief himself of his vigil, the chair was not comfortable, the silence was far from welcome and the tension that poisoned the air was like a deadly venom; thick and without reprieve.

"Daniel," Sam whispered softly, as she Mitchell and Teal'c turned up, "do you want to join us for lunch?"

"I…" no, no he couldn't, he didn't want too, if he did… why did it feel like if he left her now it could prove to be detrimental in her recovery… and what recovery? Would she ever be okay? Or had he royally screwed up again and she would lie comatose until Carolyn decided enough was enough and cut everything off?

"C'mon Jackson, the chef's got some sort of 'surprise' today," Cam said, his tone suggested that he should have been overly enthusiastic but had seen how bad a time it was for inappropriate jokes and wisecracks.

"Colonel Mitchell, I have learned during my time amongst the Tau'ri, that a 'surprise' delicacy produced for consumption is not always a pleasant experience," Teal'c contributed wit his usual wise air of superiority.

"Yeah I know that Teal'c," Cam replied candidly "so Jackson, you up for it?"

Daniel became aware that his fingers were still laced tightly with Vala's, his grip on her hand tight enough for it to feel as if she were squeezing his hand back. "I don't-"

"Go on," Jack sauntered into the infirmary.

"Jack," _I can't, I have to stay, she –_

"Daniel" _Go, she'll be fine._

"I'm not really hungry," Daniel protested. Why don't they all just go? He needed time, space… no, no space, too much space but this many people, the questions, the pity, the sympathy the –

"Doctor Jackson, are you going for lunch?" Carolyn came over, clip board held loosely in her hand that swung at her side.

Daniel opened his mouth to tell her no but Jack cut her off "yeah he is,"

Glowering at the older man Daniel got to his feet and allowed himself to be pulled from the infirmary by his friends as they seemingly contemplated saying something but could not think of anything right to say and so remained in an eerie silence.

Jack nodded and smiled politely to the CMO as she went back to her office and left him alone with only the almost comatose alien for company.

Vala was not an unattractive woman, he saw that, he would not say she looked sexy in her current state of being because that would have been morally wrong but pretty yes, even elegant.

Her forward nature had been evident in the short time he had spent talking to or about her, her vocalisation of her thoughts and her opinions on everything around her. Lively, bubbly, vibrant; less naive than Sha're, yet more daring, less reserved in the company of others, more up front; not what he would have considered to be Daniel's 'type'.

But in other ways she was exactly that, curious, bright and in some ways her outspoken nature fitted the bill.

He may as well say something, standing alone at her bedside having kicked out her guilt-ridden guard to go and get some lunch at the very least. Jack looked around briefly before returning his attention to Vala "I uh… geez, I'm not good at this," he shifted his feet "Daniel's one of the best friends I've ever had. I've known him longer than even Carter and Teal'c have, and on first impression he was… oh hell, I don't know what I'm saying here," he ran a hand over his eyes.

The concentration it was taking to try and form the words he knew he was capable of saying but could not put in an order than sounded both English and normal was putting a serious strain on them.

"He's been through a lot," he surmised, there that was okay, it was normal, simple sounding, stating a fact "and I've seen him say and do a lot of things. Sha're… he loved her, and when she died… when she died it hit him hard."

What was he trying to get at here? What was he trying to say? "I've seen him with a lot of different people and I haven't seem him so… gone… since Sha're. Daniel loved her and I think he… at least there's something there, you mean a lot to him Vala,"

* * *

Carolyn looked up from her computer and sighed, running a hand through her hair. It was hard having to watch everyone around Vala, everyone so subdued, her brief venture to the commissary earlier had been short lived; if silence fell like a sudden explosion when she walked in what was it like for Doctor Jackson? She was just the doctor, he was the husband.

She glanced at her watch… time to check Vala's stats again now… she got to her feet and went back to the main ward.

* * *

Teal'c passed no one as he made his way down to the infirmary, he cared neither way but the silence was an unwelcome one.

Surprisingly, it was still silent and empty in the infirmary, a nurse injected more sedative into Vala's IV before excusing herself from the jaffa's presence.

He pulled the card out of the pocket of his jacket and placed it and the daisies he had obtained on the nightstand before clasping his hands behind his back again. "Colonel Mitchell and Colonel Carter send their best wishes," he said in his usual low tone "they requested that I present this card and this floral arrangement to you as they are currently unable to do so themselves,"

The ventilator hissed and the beeping of the heart monitor was melodic "it would be extremely satisfactory to us all if you would get well again soon Vala Maldoran, it would please many, most definitely Daniel Jackson,"

Her chest rose and fell in an exaggerated fashion and Teal'c raised an eyebrow at the scene before him "we all miss your presence greatly and wish that yourself and yours and Daniel Jackson's offspring are healing with much haste."

There was no response; not that he expected one "I will wait here until Daniel Jackson returns," and he took his unmoving position in the seat by her bed, sat in a patient silence.

_I got season three DVDs and 'The Ultimate Visual Guide' for Stargate SG1 for Christmas! I LOVE Crystal Skull – I watched it four times already and plan on watching it later as well and the book has some really useful stuff in it and some rather amusing things like Goa'uld and Unas Dictionaries! Lol._

_Please Review, that chapter was kind of hard to write actually… btw I am working on a Christmas one-shot which should be finished by tomorrow. I also made a DanielVala video to LeAnn Rimes' 'The Right Kind of Wrong' on YouTube, my name on there is xXTempeXx_


	17. Playmaker

_Author's Notes: I forgot the 'next chapter' piece at the end of last chapter! Sorry :( I've started a new Stargate fiction, don't know why considering how many fictions in general I have going but I have. It's called 'Candle in a Hurricane' :) please do check it out if you feel like it._

_I figured days of emotional torment with Daniel, although appropriate and mostly deserving, would be boring to read after a while so I've jumped forward a few days, so any 'flashbacks' you don't recognise are just fragments that have occurred during the period which I have not written._

Chapter 17: Playmaker

"Doctor Jackson," Carolyn said softly, touching his arm "Doctor Jackson," a little louder.

Daniel jumped and then groaned under his breath at the ache in his neck; infirmary chairs were not meant to be slept in. He'd spent the last few days in that chair, moving only to go to the bathroom and to retrieve coffee when the medical staff did not get it for him as they seemed to be prone to doing.

"What's wrong?" he blinked, reaching under his glasses and rubbing still-tired eyes.

"I'm going to do the ultrasound now; I thought you might want to be awake," she answered gently, a tiny encouraging smile on her face as she stood up, having crouched next to him for a moment, and moved to the machine on the table next to her.

"Oh," he breathed, unable to think of what else to say.

"Doctor-"

"Daniel," he corrected her under his breath.

"_Daniel,_" she started again "you need to know…"

"I know," he cut her off, "I know," he repeated, much quieter, as if to himself.

Carolyn nodded and then went back to her work, turning the machine on and meticulously pulling back the comforter from over her patient.

Squeezing a liberal amount of gel onto Vala's abdomen and picking up the transducer, she took a breath before running the handheld device across the gel and watching the monitor apprehensively.

Daniel closed his eyes and did not reopen them, despite what his original intentions were. His stomach was performing the strangest acrobatics, his head was spinning and the whole time he felt like his entire body was full of lead.

Not wanting to hear anything, or see anything, or even _feel_ anything, because if he did that would mean more disappointment.

"Daniel," Carolyn whispered, staring in awe at the monitor.

He opened his eyes and it was if that action unblocked his ears as well; the steady pitter-patter or an infant's heartbeat could be heard, soft, gentle and melodic, not sharp and heavy like an adults just light, feather light.

Carolyn could not help but laugh at the smile that broke onto the archaeologist's face at that point; she stopped moving the transducer and looked away from the screen.

It was… the baby was alive! A choked laugh escaped his throat, as he could not tear his eyes away from the flickering blue image on screen, a tiny figure writhing and wriggling by the tiniest of movements.

Carolyn's manicured fingernail tapped the screen very lightly as she pointed out the baby's head, disproportionate in regards to the size of the rest of its body at this point.

"The baby is doing fine," Carolyn said after what felt like mere seconds but also like a lifetime "it's developing nicely. The skeleton is almost fully formed and all of its organs are beginning to function properly and as far as I can tell…" she moved the transducer slightly "everything is clear,"

Daniel did not respond, in fact he was barely listening to her. The baby, _his _baby was doing fine, it was alive, and it had survived.

"Doctor – Daniel," she corrected herself "I'm going to have to take Vala off the sedative now," she turned serious again.

He turned his head sharply, then realised why she had to do so and nodded.

"I'll get something to wake her up in a moment,"

He nodded and turned back to the monitor without a word.

Carolyn smiled again "I'll print you some out," she said.

* * *

"What you got there?" Cam asked in an almost jovial tone of voice as he and the rest of SG1 plus Jack entered the separate room Vala had been transferred to two days ago. 

Daniel looked up from the just-bigger-than-palm-sized photographs in his hands and to his fellow team members "Doctor Lam did an ultrasound," he told them.

Cam gave him an expectant look "and…"

"The baby's alive," he announced happily, holding out the pictures.

Jack took them as Sam let out a rather uncharacteristic, half-smothered squeal and rushed forward to hug her friend delightedly.

"That's great," she whispered in his ear, squeezing him tightly before pulling back "how's Vala?"

"Doctor Lam gave her something to wake her up about an hour ago, she should come to any minute now,"

Teal'c looked over Jack's shoulder as he shuffled through the images he had taken and raised an eyebrow "it does not resemble either of it's parents, Daniel Jackson," he mused, a perplexed expression adorning his usual serious features.

"Oh I don't know," Jack turned them sideways and squinted "I think it looks sorta like Daniel,"

Daniel scowled at him as Sam snatched the photos to look at herself. She smiled at them, a tiny human infant, minute to the naked eye but still every bit as amazing as it was expected to be, ultrasound images always were. She felt someone's eyes on her and she looked up just as Jack looked away, ignoring him she handed the photographs back to Daniel who took them gratefully.

A slight noise from the direction of the bed had silence descend on the room and all eyes fix on the woman that occupied it. Her eyelids flickered and her fingers flexed atop the comforter beside her.

Daniel put the photos on the nightstand, behind the empty coffee mug and next to one of the vases of flowers that had been left "Vala?"

"'omin?" her voice was rough and caught in her throat and she squinted against the light.

Daniel felt a stab in the chest at that point. 'omin? Who was that…? Tomin! She was asking for Tomin… who was Tomin? Oh… the man she'd met whilst in Ori-Land… he deserved it… "No," he said gently, he licked his lips "no it's not," he was an ass. Who was he to think she would say _his _name when she woke up after what he said to her?

"Because I don't love you Vala, I never have and I don't think I ever will… I can't be the father to your baby. You are asking the impossible…"

_"…It's your baby too Daniel…"_

_"…No it's not…"_

_"…I need you Daniel… I need you…" _

_"…Why can't you treat me… like one of your friends at the very least?"_

_"Because your not one…"_

"Daniel?" she tried again, then shifted in the bed, whimpering when it caused agonising pain to shoot up her legs. Did she sound disappointed or was that just him hearing things?

"Yeah," he replied, taking the cup of ice-chips Sam handed him.

"I'll go get the doc," Jack excused himself.

* * *

He rapped on Doctor Lam's office door, and waited for her to answer, he sighed impatiently when there wasn't a reply and knocked again. 

"General O'Neill," Carolyn said as she came down the hallway towards him, "what's wrong?"

He turned "Vala's woken up," he announced and Carolyn turned on her heel and walked briskly back down the path she had just taken.

She didn't check to see if O'Neill was on her heels but was not surprised when he joined her in the elevator half a second after she had entered it.

* * *

"I'll give you a shot for the pain now," Carolyn said, taking the drug filled canister off the tray next to her and attaching a needle to it. As she administered the pain-relief she said. 

"You're going to be tired for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours Vala. Don't fight it, if you do have trouble sleeping though, please let me know. I can't give you any more sedatives at the moment as it could cause severe damage to the baby but there is probably something I can work out,"

Vala nodded, pushing herself up and crying out in all out pain as the action proved to be too much for her battered body.

"You can sit up for a little while," she produced two more pillows and arranged those and the one's the dark-haired alien already had so she could recline against them "do you want me to send them back in now?"

"Doctor Lam," Vala began, okay… heart-to-heart, not that hard was it? All she had to do was ask… "Daniel…"

The CMO took the hint "Daniel has spent every minute by your bed Vala, he hasn't left you," she assured her.

_"Go home Doctor Jackson, get some sleep, you need it,"_

"_I'm not leaving her," defiant, insistent and yet a touch of exhausted vulnerability amongst desperate words. Trying to maintain a shield, a mask, a wall… hiding even when he knew it was obvious to everyone around him what he felt._

"_She isn't going to wake up for hours, I've just given her another-"_

_"I am not leaving her," blue eyes pinning her in a steely glare, glistening with tears that could not fall and flooded with emotions to strong to bare. An agony he alone could cure._

She gave a derisive snort "Daniel wants nothing to do with me,"

Stupid, steal his car but forget you haven't got a clue how to drive the damn thing, crash it and end up tied down with bonds no one can see and unable to move without wanting to cry out in distress. Hooked up to an IV pumping drugs into her only powerful enough to take the edge off, not to numb her completely.

"He's had time to-"

"I don't want to see him," she said definitely.

Carolyn gave up for the time being, not defeated just withdrawing for the time being, she left the room and frowned when she did not see Daniel out there.

"Where's…"

"He said he had some stuff he had too do," Sam filled her in, sharing a look with the other woman.

Men! He'd waited a week for Vala to wake up, hadn't left her side for any more than thirty minutes at a time and even then it was under extreme, and often loud, protests and now she was conscious? He'd run off.

"Vala… doesn't wish to see him right now," she informed them diplomatically "but I don't think she'll object to other visitors. I need to go and check on the main ward but I'll be back to check on her soon,"

The group entered the room once more, and were greeted by a cheery smile "who made these?" she said, the open Tupperware container in her lap and one of the cookies, half eaten in her hand not attached to the IV.

"Uh… one of the technicians down in the control room," Sam said, taking Daniel's vacant seat as the three men took position at the foot of the bed "how're you feeling?"

"Like I just woke up after a _very _long sleep," she replied nonchalantly, holding out the container for the others to take a cookie, the only one to decline was Teal'c who did so with a small smile on his face.

"We are all very glad you have awoken Vala Maldoran," he said politely as Jack and Cam took the proffered treat without argument.

An uncomfortable silence reigned for several moments in which the only sounds that could be heard were that of cookies being consumed. Vala closed the now half-empty container and put it back on the nightstand, she paused and picked up the photographs that had been left there "what're these?"

"They're pictures," Sam said "of your baby,"

"How…"

"We have a machine, using a small device attached to the monitor called a transducer that sends ultrasonic waves that penetrate the skin we can scan for anomalies inside the body. It is used as a common way to check on the status of a pregnancy and how the foetus is developing in the uterus. So long as the apparatus is used correctly no harm can come to the baby-"

"Doctor Lam gave you one earlier," Cam cut Carter off, as Vala seemed to be loosing track of what the blonde was saying.

"Daniel asked for some print outs," Sam said quietly as Vala turned her gaze to the pictures in her hand "from what I can gather-"

"Carter," Jack cut her off, and gave the enthralled brunette a pointed look as she examined the pictures of her unborn child.

"Daniel Jackson has spent much time by your side Vala Maldoran. Perhaps it would be prudent for you to permit him to see you," Teal'c contributed, he was ignored.

"Carter," Jack said again.

"Yes sir?"

"Outside for a moment?"

Sam got to her feet and followed him from the room, closing the door behind her she turned to the General. "Sir?"

"I'm going to go find Daniel," he announced abruptly. "You need to get Mitchell and Teal'c out of there as soon as possible,"

"Sir?" she asked dubiously.

He did not reply.

* * *

"Not now Jack," Daniel said, without even turning around, he hadn't worked out for a week, and was beginning to regret the maybe-not-so-wise decision to camp out in a chair for the past few nights. He sighed as he threw the ball at the hoop again and it missed completely. 

The half-healed injuries he had sustained the night of the accident burned at the inappropriate usage of them but he ignored the pain and picked up the ball as it bounced off the backboard at his poor-aim, his concentration way off.

Jack simply walked round him, snatched the ball from his hands and picked up a towel that was at the side. He threw it at his friend's head. It had taken him a good twenty minutes to find the other man and was not amused by his avoidance tactics in any way.

Daniel caught the towel and glared at O'Neill "what'd you want?"

"Go have a shower, I'll see you in Vala's room in fifteen minutes,"

"Are you ordering me to do that in your capacity as a friend or-"

"Now Daniel," his eyes narrowed as Daniel ran the towel over his face exasperatedly.

"You're an ass Jack,"

Jack simply looked at him.

Disgruntled and muttering to himself he headed for the showers, completely unaware that Jack was grinning broadly.

* * *

Sam sighed, it, surprisingly, had been harder to get Cam and Teal'c to understand that they had to leave because she was under orders to take part in a little 'matchmaking' than it was to do so without Vala noticing. She was far too interested in the ultrasound pictures to realise what was going on around her. 

In fact, Sam would have been surprised if she would have torn her eyes away from them had a Prior suddenly materialised and started tap-dancing at her bedside.

Hair wet from the shower and looking as though it had not been combed entirely properly a rather irate Daniel entered the room, and Jack, bearing a rather self-satisfied smile followed close behind.

"You two," Jack moved to stand on the other side of Vala's bed so he could look at the mentioned couple clearly, he snatched the photographs from Vala "are both behaving like a coupla teenage kids,"

Daniel opened his mouth to protest.

"Ah, ah!" Jack cut him off, finger raised "you're married to her," he looked at Vala "and he's married to you. Issue number one." Back to look at Daniel "she's pregnant, it's yours," to Vala "you crashed his car, issue two." Again, to Daniel "you said you didn't want anything to do with her," once more to Vala "and you're being unfair, issue three" and to both of them "now deal with it!"

With that he left the room, with a half glance at Sam who followed, biting back a smirk at the twin looks of disapproval Jack had managed to raise.

Daniel said nothing, standing uncomfortably, by the bed.

Vala said nothing, plucking at the loose cotton on her navy-coloured scrubs. "I'm leaving," she stated after a pause.

Daniel took his seat again "what?"

"I'm leaving, as soon as your doctors give me the all clear I'm leaving," she said, not raising her eyes.

"Why?" God, he'd screwed this up, leaving? Why would she leave? She couldn't leave! She was pregnant, it was his. He had… no custodial rights of the intergalactic kind…

She looked up "you don't want me here Daniel, and I have places I could go-"

"You don't have to leave!"

"There's nothing for me here," she retorted "it's not like anyone will miss me,"

Daniel looked at the various bouquets of flowers, the cards, cookies, candy, fruit baskets, stuffed bears departments and individual personnel had left for her over the time which she had been unconscious.

Was she blind? She was one of the most popular, most loved member's off the facility, every one saw her light and her good sense of humour. They enjoyed her presence even if at times they pretended it irritated the hell out of them.

Her forward nature made many of the officers blushing at times even as they tried to conceal it and the marines certainly welcomed her, although, he had to admit, some of them would welcome anything that resembled a human and was female.

"I would," he admitted, barely even aware that he had said it out loud.

She laughed dryly "you just feel guilty,"

He glared at her; did she have to make this so hard?

"I already know what you think of me Daniel. There's not point trying to pretend you like me," she said, despite what the words themselves could be interpreted as she was not whining and she wasn't being selfish. She was stating a fact and making it clear what she thought.

"No you don't," he answered, she had no idea, she had no clue, she was, she was…

She laughed again, it was evident she was tiring but despite what Carolyn had told her not to do she was fighting it, determined to see this through to the end "you told me!"

"You…" she what? Pissed him off? Wound him up? Drove him crazy? "You…"

"I, what?" she said, hands folded neatly in her lap as she stared at him intensely, as if daring him to say anything against what he had told her last time they had spoke.

He glared at her, she was infuriating! Of all the unbelievable, self pitying, arrogant – his hands cupped the back of her neck, steadying her but not forcing her to do anything she did not want to, unresponsive at first but not tense, she remained frozen for the first second of the kiss.

Her free hand carded through the silky, damp strands of hair at the back of his head and she kissed him back tenderly. She did not initiate anything stronger, not because she felt too injured to do so but because she was simply enjoying what he was giving her then, too much.

He pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

"This doesn't change anything," she said half-heartedly, licking her lips; they tasted of him.

"Didn't say it did," he smiled at her and stroked he hair back away from her face and kissed her again, this time she responded without hesitation.

* * *

"Finally," Sam breathed, peering through a gap in the door that was not completely closed "Doctor Lam, I wouldn't go in there-" she said, moving to bar the other woman access. 

"Why?"

"Look," she said, moving aside for Carolyn to do so.

"I'll… come back later," she excused herself quickly, hurrying off down the corridor.

He and Sam moved in the opposite direction, walking in silence until Sam asked, "when's your flight back to Washington sir?"

"This afternoon," he replied casually "1500 hours,"

The elevator journey was silent and Sam found herself examining the walls with a scrutiny she could not decide where came from, she jumped when she saw Teal'c standing just outside the doors as they opened.

"General O'Neill, Colonel Carter," he greeted politely "perhaps you would like to participate in a game of basketball. Colonel Mitchell wishes to play and without Daniel Jackson and Vala Maldoran we are without enough people to do so,"

Jack looked at Sam then back at the inquiring jaffa "sure, why not?"

_Author's Notes: I researched ultrasound information on the net, as, being only 15 years old, I really don't know that much about them, (my youngest brother was born when I was six so I have no chance remembering that) so I'm sorry about any inaccuracies._

_Next Chapter: Do missions for SG1 EVER go according to plan?_


	18. Open Earth

_Author's Notes: I've made a Stargate message board, I have loads of message boards, but none seem to ever go anywhere! _

_www(dot)z8(dot)invisionfree(dot)com/ChevronSeven _

_I am ninja-spacemonkey on there, please do join I really want to try and make this one work out._

_Iv managed to fix the css problem on there! yay!_

Chapter 18: Open Earth

Vala's hand rested on the small bump that was her slowly developing abdomen, and she could see the reflection of General Landry, who was stood behind her, in the glass as she looked down into the 'gate room where her team was preparing to embark on another mission.

The confinement to the base was making her nervous and at times even claustrophobic, the fact that she was pregnant really did not help that. Occasionally she was taken off-base by Sam and Daniel had even ventured out with her once or twice, each time swearing to himself that he would not do it again but doing it anyway. Teal'c had offered but the thought of the both of them going out into the 'big, wide, world' with no escort that was a native to the planet had even General Landry paling.

Landry gave the order for the team to step through the horizon and she smiled brightly and waved when Daniel glanced back. He responded half-heartedly, but she did catch the tiny smile he sent her way and despite the swell of abandonment she could not shake the smile she wore became genuine for just a moment.

"Vala," Walter said softly after the 'gate had shut down and everyone had gone back to their normal activities, Landry had retreated to his office.

She was still stood, watching the 'gate she was forbidden to step through for months yet, an ache in her chest she recognised as a response to tight restrictions; something she had not had to abide for quite some time, at least not under orders.

With Tomin in the Ori galaxy she had been restricted, yes but she was allowed to leave his home should she want too and to explore as she wished to. Here it was like a jail cell, it even had guards.

Not that every one wasn't being nice to her, they were, but it was an odd sort of nice, knowing smiles and nods of greeting that were given only because she was 'Doctor Jackson's wife' and he had now at least acknowledged their new status' in each other's lives. She was – where were these insecurities coming from?

"Hmm?" she shook herself from her contemplative state and looked at the sergeant.

"Are you… okay?"

She sighed, sick of the question "yes," and she left without another word.

* * *

The landscape at the other side of the Stargate was not at all like the images that the MALP had sent back several hours ago, instead of the lush green woodland that surrounded the 'gate and edged the nearest village, it was a bomb site. 

Debris and splintered, charred wood littered the area, brittle twigs snapped underfoot and plumes of smoke could be seen hovering in the air in the direction of the village.

"What in the-" Cam was cut off as he only just managed to duck stray weapon fire "holy-" he twisted round to avoid more. "I think we've out-stayed our welcome!" he stated, heading for the DHD.

"Wait," Daniel said, holding up a hand to silence the others, a faint whimper could be heard, minute and barely audible; a whisper carried on the gently breeze.

Sam slipped the safety off her P-90 and took a step towards Daniel "what is it?"

"Help! You must help me!"

Daniel whirled round and frowned when he saw no person for the voice to have come from.

"Help me!" the voice was pain-filled and it's owner female.

Cam frowned and began looking around also, as Teal'c stood deathly still so as to determine where the sound was coming from.

"Where are you?" Daniel called out.

"Over there," Sam stepped over a tree stump and moved deeper into the wood, where the trees were not all destroyed yet.

Slumped against a thin-trunk was a young woman, no more than twenty-five, shaking and far to pale to be healthy.

"My name's Daniel," he knelt next to her immediately "this is Colonel Mitchell, Colonel Carter and Teal'c," he gestured to each of them in turn.

"Freya," she replied, swallowing and grimacing as she did so, her right arm lay across her lap, the wrist obviously broken.

"Let me see," Sam sat on Freya's other side and hit the release clips of her pack, pulling out her medical-kit and pulling out strapping so as to provide some basic support for the injured arm.

"What happened to you?" Cam asked, glancing around in a quick check for their safety.

"I was… ahh," she squeaked when Sam straightened her wrist "… the country has been at war for many months," she watched Sam's ministrations carefully "my village did not join the battle until a few hours ago, we were attacked by our neighbours, the Tarkans."

Sam returned her arm to her lap and nodded to Daniel to move so she could check her patient's other side. Upon lifting the hem of Freya's jacket she found an ugly wound, similar in shape and size to that of a staff weapon, dirt and leaves were stuck to the laceration and an infection was beginning to set in.

She pulled out a pair of latex gloves to prevent anything on her hands from contaminating it further.

"I was walking through the wood when the attack began, I ran, of course," she blinked wide brown eyes at Cam then looked at Daniel was following her story intently. "But their weapon fire was long-range, I got hit," she gestured to her side which Sam was currently trying to clean, Freya bit her lip as Sam pressed an alcohol soaked gauze pad onto the wound.

She waited until Sam had removed it and muttered an apology before she took a breath and continued "I stumbled over a tree root, and when I went to get up." She looked at an embankment that was masked by darkness, and almost impossible to see behind the tree she was leaning against.

"My skirt caught on the brambles and I slipped down the hill, I moved away as much as I could, which was not far," her accent was strong and her words well pronounced, she sounded very akin to an upper class English woman. "Thank you," she told Sam sincerely as she packed away the remaining supplies and pulled off the gloves.

"When did you receive your injury Freya?" Teal'c inquired.

"Mid morning, approximately," she answered, brow creasing as she tried to remember.

"It's 1410 now," Cam said, shocked "none of your people came looking for you?"

"My family are dead," she snapped abruptly. "a great sickness claimed them in the fall of my seventeenth year,"

"I'm sorry," Sam touched her shoulder sympathetically.

Freya was quiet and jumped startled when Cam froze and moved stealthily to the shelter of another tree, P-90 aiming towards the village, he motioned for Sam to follow his example, she did, motioning herself for Daniel to take seat beside Freya.

Then the footsteps could be heard.

* * *

The planet they had transported him too was a strange one, the people were knelt low in the town square, heads bowed low as a tall man in grey robes moved among them. 

"Hallowed are the Ori!" he declared and the townspeople chanted it back to him in the same low tone of voice as they had already done twice before.

Curiosity getting the better of him, he took a step forward and the muttered repetition stopped, the door of the building he had taken cover in shortly after arriving creaked.

"Who goes there?" a townsman demanded, after the priest nodded at him to do so.

He moved out onto the street and opened his mouth to introduce himself but was cut off when a white-light surrounded him and he was once again some where else.

* * *

The footsteps faded away without any trouble and Cam released a breath he had not realised he was holding, turning to his team he said "we need to get moving, Freya, you're coming with us," 

Freya did not argue, and leaned heavily on Daniel as he helped her too her feet, she did not look what anyone could consider to be 'well' but she looked subsequently better than she had before.

"We need to head deeper into the woods," Freya said "the further we get from the village…"

Cam nodded his agreement and started trekking deeper into the forestation. He soon regretted letting his guard slip though.

"You!" a man cried from their left, instinctively Cam pressed himself against a nearby tree as did the rest of his team, unfortunately Daniel, slowed by Freya could not move fast enough for them not to be spotted.

The group of three men, dressed in animal hide and simple fabric clothing came forward, stomping heavily on the damp undergrowth. Two of the men lunged forward and seized Freya and Daniel, forcing them both to their knees, the third seized Sam as he looked behind a bush in search of any other people.

"You are not from Sara'tona," the first man declared, spitting his words as Sam's hair was released and she was thrown to sit beside Daniel, her weapon and his confiscated. "From where do you venture?"

"We come through the Stargate-"

"The what?" the second man interrupted.

"Chaapa'ai?" Daniel tried hesitantly.

"The circle of water?" the first man interpreted "you trespass on newly claimed land with no effort of warfare?" he glared "fools!" he backhanded Daniel who struggled to keep balance as the blow was strong and heavy, rather like a small club more than a fist.

"We don't want your land," he said, blinking back the tears that had risen at the sudden pain.

The second man leaned down to Daniel's level and took a handful of his hair, forcing his head back "you want our women?" he leered.

"What?" he breathed as he was released "no!"

"She," he pointed at Sam "is a warrior correct?"

"Yes," Sam replied, not giving Daniel time to answer at all. She received a blow across the face, somewhat lighter than the one Daniel had gotten but still painful, her head whipped to one side and her neck ached as she shook her fringe from her eyes.

"You will speak when spoken too!"

Sam opened her mouth to object but she felt Daniel's foot nudge hers and closed it again resisting the urge to ignore him completely and tell the disgusting sonovabitch where he could go and what he could do when he got there.

Suddenly the third man grabbed Freya by her long dirty-blonde hair and threw her against a tree, her back pressed against the rough bark of it's trunk she forced the light spots dancing in the corners of her eyes to diminish.

The first man laughed "yes!" he grinned, "she will pay for your insolence!"

"What insolence?" Daniel exclaimed as a weapon was produced and a button was pressed to charge it "don't! She hasn't done anything wrong!"

Daniel jumped to his feet and lunged forwards to try and detour the man holding the weapon, he fell back down when the second man, who he had not heard move, kicked him in the back of the knees.

"Please… don't… you can't…." Freya whimpered, terrified and trying to get away, but returned roughly to her place by the third man.

Sam got backhanded once more when she got as close as to touch the man's shoulder and both she and Daniel watched in horror as the blast was released and Freya slumped to the ground, lifeless.

* * *

"Where am I?" he looked around him, awed. 

"You are aboard an Asgard mothership. My name is Thor." Thor greeted his passenger carefully "the planet you were transported to was one of many that have fallen to the Ori in your galaxy."

Thor moved from behind a console to stand in front of his guest, watching with slight amusement at the expression on the human's face as his host's appearance was revealed. "I was contacted by the race who's planet you have resided on for seven of your earth years, the knowledge you have is a valuable treasure and must be protected. We will arrive in orbit of Earth in a short time,"

* * *

Daniel tore his eyes away from Freya's broken body as he was hauled to his feet; he heard a sound beside him of Sam presumably getting the same treatment, the men restrained both of them. 

"Pretty," the first man gripped Sam's chin tightly, turning her head from side to side "you will make a good bed-mate,"

Sam looked horrified and jerked out his grasp, letting her hatred of him be known with a single look.

"And you," he turned to Daniel and paused as if considering his fate "you will be an example," he did not explain further and if Daniel was honest, he was glad of it.

* * *

Cam watched as two members of his team were led away, their hands being bound as they walked, weapons had been removed before they had started walking and were being examined and either kept or discarded by their assailants. 

Teal'c stepped out of his hiding place as Cam signalled the all-clear "Colonel Mitchell, I do not believe attempting a rescue at this moment would be wise,"

Cam knew he was right but that didn't not stop the fact he already had the order on his tongue "I'll go call for backup," he came up with a new plan "you follow them,"

Teal'c nodded "I will ensure no further harm comes to Daniel Jackson and Colonel Carter,"

* * *

The blast doors slammed closed and the airmen pointed their weapons at the intruder stood on the 'gate ramp, a look of awe on his face. 

"Identify yourself," Landry ordered firmly.

He raised his eyes to the man addressing him and answered "My name is Nicholas Ballard, I have to speak to Daniel,"

* * *

As the wormhole activated he heard a soft rumble and the ground began to shake beneath his feet. 

Cam turned and could see a crowd surrounding a man who seemed to be stood on a stage of some sort. His words could not be heard but his voice was clear and the cheers that punctuated every sentence he spoke from the crowd would have been deafening had he been stood amongst it.

The rumbling grew louder and the shaking more forceful, his hand moved to the MALP that was standing where it had been left so as to open a radio link with the SGC but a violent shudder of the ground had him thrown backwards into the shimmering event horizon.

_Author's Notes: Had a sudden thought whilst watching Crystal Skull the first time I saw it (Christmas Day) what would it be like for Vala to meet Nick? And after Nick said he'd be back at the end of the episode and him apparently never returning…_

_Please Review!_

_Next Chapter: As Cam is taken the infirmary, Jack is back again, and there is some rather alarming news regarding the dial back to the planet Sam, Daniel and Teal'c are still on..._


	19. Fall Out

_Author's Notes: Got a call last night, well more early hours of this morning, and it was my friend who came up with a rather odd little idea for my returning Nick, and even stranger; it fits into the plans I have for him without me having to alter anything else. _

_I have no clue how old Nick was when he was in Crystal Skull but I made him around seventy-eight._

Chapter 19: Fall Out

The whooshing roar of the gate closing was drowned out as Mitchell tumbled through backwards; hitting the metal ramp with such a force he rolled over backwards, smashing face first down into the grating.

The only thought in his head was one of 'ow' as he did a quick inventory of his body to find that the vast majority of it hurt after his unprepared trip through the 'gate but all limbs were still attached… how many times had he gone through now?

"Colonel Mitchell!" General Landry's voice was louder than Cam appreciated as he moved towards his seemingly immobile officer midway up the ramp. "Where's the rest of SG1?" he knelt down on one knee.

Cam rolled onto his back and found he could breathe better there, gave himself a moment to re-orientate himself before Landry's words gained any proper meaning to his spinning mind. He pushed himself to his feet, ignoring Landry's offer of help as he attained the task with far more speed and less grunts of pain. "They're still on PJ8-761 sir. We need to get reinforcements,"

"What happened?" Landry said, following a step after Cam as he went to stand on level ground.

"Jackson and Carter have been captured by natives of the neighbouring village. I need a fully armed retrieval team, now," he ordered, straightening up and taking charge of the situation, uncaring that maybe giving orders to not only his personal Commanding Officer but also the CO of the entire base was not his wisest choice of words.

Carolyn and a couple of SFs had entered and Cam brushed the CMO off as she reached to apply a temporary gauze pad to the gash he had not yet acknowledged above his right eye, blood trickling down the side of his face, however now that she pointed it out he found it was now stinging furiously.

"You're not going anywhere Colonel," she admonished, trying again and once more she was prevented from tending to him.

He shot her a look then turned back to Landry "request permission to be head the rescue team sir,"

"Denied," Landry answered, stepping past him and heading to leaving the 'gate room.

"Sir!"

He did not get a reply.

"Come on Colonel-" Carolyn took his arm and was taken aback when he jerked out of her grasp.

"Stop it," he snapped, furious, a headache pounding at his temples "I'm fine, Jackson and Carter-"

Carolyn had, had enough "- will be fine, a team will be sent to rescue them, you're injured, and will only be a liability to any rescue effort that goes through the 'gate, now please Colonel; to the infirmary."

* * *

"Excuse me Doctor Lam," one of the nurses said as Carolyn applied antiseptic solution to a graze on Mitchell's palm, his injuries superficial but still she was not prepared to give him the okay to go on a rescue mission, especially after a risk of injury to the head, and impacting the 'gate ramp at that speed had done little to prove to her that, that had not happened.

"Nurse?" she took off her gloves and turned.

"The man who was beamed into the 'gate room… he's still insisting he is Nicholas Ballard and frankly ma'am… I'm inclined to think it's a possibility,"

"Who's Nicholas Ballard?" Cam asked, standing up and picking up his discarded jacket.

"Where is he now?" Carolyn said, the nurse glanced away from her for a moment, to Cam and then back at the CMO.

"A holding cell,"

* * *

"Jack!" Ferretti exclaimed as he entered the commissary to find the other man sat on his own, a mug of coffee in front of him. "What're you doing back?" he slid into a seat opposite him.

"There's some business I need to see too, thought I'd drop by,"

Ferretti nodded and pushed his plate of fries into the middle of the table, taking one himself and eating it as Jack spoke.

"When's SG1 due back?" Jack helped himself and Ferretti swallowed before answering.

"You not heard?" he said seriously.

"What?"

"Mitchell literally fell through about thirty minutes ago, seems they ran into some trouble back on PJ8 - whatever it was, they're getting a rescue team together now, Reynolds is leading it,"

O'Neill nodded his approval, the usual sense of uselessness twisting in his gut at the thought that he could not be of any help when his team – he still thought of them like that, Daniel, Carter, and Teal'c… they'd always be _his _team, despite promotions and new jobs, that was how it would be – was in danger.

He drained his coffee and got to his feet.

"Oh yeah… some guy got beamed into the 'gate room not to long before Mitchell got back. He's claiming to be Nick Ballard,"

* * *

"If Daniel isn't here is Jack O'Neill… Colonel, I _must _speak to one of them!" Nick was growing rapidly short tempered with the not-so-helpful infirmary staff.

He'd been released from his cell to be taken to the infirmary where he was seriously beginning to feel like a pin cushion from the amount of times various nurses and Doctor Lam had poked him with needles.

"Who're you?" Jack asked, having bypassed his intended trip to the 'gate room where he would have served to be of little help and even he knew he would just get in the way.

"Colonel O'Neill!" Nick went to jump to his feet but was stopped by two nurses standing in front of him; he peered past them to observe the man who had just entered the room.

"Yes," Jack replied slowly "who're you?" he repeated.

"I'm Nick!" he exclaimed tiredly "you remember me surely…"

Jack raised an eyebrow in a way that had Carolyn thinking of Teal'c for a second "Nick? Didn't we leave him on that planet…? P – whatsists, with the giant aliens?" what a great name, he mused, giant aliens, priceless.

"And they sent me here!"

"You, my friend, are _not _Nick," Jack said "Nick was _definitely _older than _me,_ and _old_ as I may be there is no way I have enough years on me to be Daniel's grandpa,"

"But it's me!" Nick declared in earnest.

"He's… right," Carolyn looked down at the test results she had in her arms along with Nick's medical file "the DNA matches what we have on file, and his blood is direct match… he is Nicholas Ballard,"

Jack stared at her "he – he looks like he's about forty and that's an _over-_estimate!"

Nick grinned at him, it unnerved him so he looked away, fixing his gaze on the dark haired doctor.

"When Doctor Fraiser performed her examination of him seven years ago – the last record we have of him – Nick was seventy-eight years old, and by my calculations…" she flicked through the papers, then brought one to the top and skim read it. "He's around thirty years younger. There's a unique marker in his blood, which we found after we retested and it seems to be similar to nanite technology-"

"Thirty five years," Nick informed them "they reversed my age by thirty-five-years,"

"Who did?" Carolyn asked.

"Well the giant aliens of course!"

Carolyn seemed to be having a hard time deciding whether her patient was a perfectly sane man or whether she needed to call Mental Health and get him re-admitted.

"Of course," Jack muttered under his breath "of course it was,"

* * *

"Chevron six engaged,"

The klaxons sounding as the 'gate was dialled had the same effect on him it always did, making his entire body shake as he stood a safe distance from the 'kawoosh' that would rocket from the event horizon as it formed.

"Chevron seven… will _not _lock!" Walter exclaimed and the Stargate came to a screeching halt.

Reynolds turned to look at the stationary 'gate then up to the control room where Landry was now standing at Walter's shoulder and looking at the computer screen, a look of avid concern on his face.

Doctor Jackson and Major Carter were extremely important people to the SGC, all the men and women were, _never leave a man behind, _the words echoed in his head as he watched the technicians confer and discuss with each other and the General in desperate attempts to figure out what was wrong with the program, if anything at all was wrong.

"Colonel Reynolds, stand by," Landry called as the 'gate came to life once more.

"Chevron one engaged… Chevron two engaged…"

* * *

Cam flexed his fingers, since his trip to the infirmary and the adrenalin kick wearing off he became very aware of every graze, cut and bruise his body had sustained on his impromptu landing in the 'gate room.

The shower, despite what he had hoped, had not eased his discomfort in anyway, he just ached. Superficial injuries did often hurt more than the life-threatening ones, or the ones where he could actual hear the bone splinter or crack as something impacted it.

He found himself wandering the halls, no real sense of purpose but it was either that or breath down the technician's necks as he waited for news on the rest of his team. He should have stayed behind.

He should have stayed and followed the bastards who had killed Freya and captured Daniel and Sam, lured comments, incomplete and vague threats… he and Teal'c could've taken them… couldn't they?

Even as guilt curled its sickly claws around his gut he knew he had, on some level, done the right thing. An entire village, an army, it would have been close… too close? He felt antsy, nervous, and he sure as hell couldn't sit still long enough to do any of the paperwork he knew he had to do.

A sudden thought swept through his mind; Vala. Her's and Jackson's relationship had certainly moved to new heights, public displays of affection were still declined. Bickering and 'silent treatments', which lasted for no more than twenty-four hours at a time, were infrequent but present and often over trivial matters that were of little importance in the grand scheme of things. But at the time it was like their little fracas held a meaning far more valuable than they actually did and it affected everyone around them, whether it irritated or amused them.

Cam had even walked past Daniel's office and had seen Vala lying full out, as she regularly did, on the desk, Daniel leaning over something in front of him, their hands intertwined, no words, just simply touching and working in a silent harmony of unspoken communication. Had it not been for Teal'c pinning him with a steely glare he would have said something to them.

He knocked on the door.

* * *

"Chevron seven… will _not _lock!" Walter announced again as once more the dial in failed.

* * *

Vala opened the door "Colonel Mitchell!" she exclaimed brightly, then seeing the grim look on his face she stood aside to let him in "what's wrong?"

Cam accepted the invitation and she closed the door behind him as he turned to face her; no one had told her he was back? Then that meant…

"Where's Daniel?" she broke through his trail of thought, wide eyed and staring at him.

"He and Sam were caught by some hostile natives. Teal'c's tailing them,"

* * *

"What d'ya mean it won't work?" Jack was stood in Landry's office, questioning the man regarding the failed attempts to dial back into PJ8-761.

"Siler seems to think there was some sort of seismic activity on their side of the 'gate when Mitchell came through," Landry took his seat behind his desk, his hands clasped in front of him as he surveyed his old friend sincerely. "The 'gate was probably buried,"

Jack shrugged "we could call the Asgard, they dropped Nick off didn't they?"

Landry shook his head "the President doesn't think that we should get our allies involved,"

Jack looked pissed to be frank, very much so, crying loudly; "then how are they going to get home?"

* * *

Cam shifted his feet uncomfortably, watching Vala who had taken a seat on the edge of her bed, her hand on her stomach protectively "they'll get home," he assured her.

"I need to do something," she got to her feet again and made for the door, Cam stepped in front of her, blocking her way "Colonel Mitchell-"

"They won't let you through the 'gate Vala," he stated firmly, refusing to move and he almost flinched at the angry glare she sent her human blockade. "The best you can do, that we can _both _do is wait,"

* * *

"We've got three teams due back within the next hour and a half," Landry addressed those stood in the 'gate room, Jack, Mitchell and Vala all watching him with disapproving looks that were just the tip of the ice-burg of the desperate desire to do something productive towards the rescue.

"We've redialled PJ8-761, every twenty minutes since Colonel Mitchell's return, and the 'gate hasn't come even close to locking even once sir," Walter said, his chair turned to face the superior officers in the room.

Landry looked at the trio still watching him intensely, "the members of SG1 stranded on PJ8-761 are-"

Walter whirled his chair round and looked and looked at the monitor as the klaxons sounded again "incoming wormhole,"

The iris was closed "who's IDC?" Jack stepped forwards as the seventh chevron lit up, the process painstaking slow it seemed even though he knew it was the same speed the 'gate always connected at.

"I'm not getting anything…" a smile lit up his face and he turned round "it's SG1!"

_Author's Notes: Erratic, fast, but written at odd times – like on my mom's laptop as my dad watched 'Doctor Who' repeats; murderous robot Santas and psycho Christmas trees are VERY distracting and then later I was watching Atlantis… basically, if it sucks I'm sorry!_

_Next Chapter: The missing members of the team come through the 'gate badly injured, and Jack reveals what the 'business' he has to attend to really is…_


	20. The Return

_Author's Notes: One or two of you have expressed concerns that some of the issues that arose/were dealt with in chapter 17 have been 'glossed over' or 'forgotten.' Odd as it sounds; thank you for mentioning it._

_Now, I assure that Daniel and Vala are far from 'happy' as it were. At the moment the status of their relationship is little more than 'friends' despite the kiss that chapter included. I tried to explain it last chapter but as they were separated and so I couldn't use them and Teal'c and Sam were… incapacitated, I had to use Cam. And lets be honest, can any of us see Cam thinking through Daniel and Vala's relationship to a degree of that intensity? _

_They will however, come to a further understanding in the chapters following this one hopefully 'Memories of Cairo' and 'Invasive Manoeuvres' with a little help from our wonderful friend Nick._

_However if you still are not satisfied please do let me know specifically the problem you have and I will see if I can either explain it to you, or address it in further chapters._

_Wow that was a long 'author's notes'! On with the chapter… I'm avoiding coursework, I go back to school tomorrow after the Christmas break and personally I'd rather face a Goa'uld System Lord unarmed! (I have suspicions that my tutor may actually be one)… Okay now I sound nuts!_

Chapter 20: The Return

Walter had barely finished announcing who was returning before Mitchell and Jack were hurtling down the 'gate room at break-neck speed.

The blast doors opened as the two anxious men ran through, bolting up the 'gate ramp as Teal'c stumbled through the event horizon. Sam unconscious in his arms and not looking as if she would regain consciousness any time soon.

Daniel had come through on his own although now seemed to be leaning rather heavily on the injured jaffa without realising it.

All three were injured badly, Daniel's eyes were sliding closed and he was favouring his left leg, his shirt ripped in multiple places and glasses no where in sight.

There were no visible injuries to Sam that would cause her to be the way she was, cuts and bruises but nothing other than superficial injuries. Teal'c was sweat drenched and blood from a nasty looking gash near his hairline was trickling towards his eye.

The jaffa slumped to his knees and Jack reached him just in time to relieve him of his load so as to prevent further injury to either of them. Crouched next to him with Sam in his arms Jack adjusted his position when his knees began to make their objection, so he was sat with his former 2IC in his lap.

Daniel followed Teal'c's example and his legs buckled beneath him, as they struggled to take his weight again after his support disappearing, Cam seized his waist and put on of Daniel's arms across his shoulders to keep him upright.

"Doctor Lam to the 'gate room!" Walter's voice could be heard as Landry and Vala also came to meet the team, they were kept at a distance as the requested medical team rushed in, three gurney's rattling as the SFs that pushed them left them at the foot of the ramp.

Carolyn took Sam's wrist and checked her pulse, then moved onto Teal'c, pressing a pad of gauze to his head, he took it, glancing at her through sluggish eyes and holding it their himself. "Let's get them to the infirmary," she said, helping, or at least attempting to, Teal'c get to his feet and to the gurney, he did not argue and for that she was both grateful and concerned.

Jack had already put Sam on another and was helping Cam get a now unconscious Daniel on to the third. Both of them stepped back as the injured members of SG1 were taken down to the infirmary.

* * *

Nick had not been allowed to leave the infirmary, he had not wanted to really, O'Neill appeared to be busy and if Daniel was not on the base then the chances of any one else he knew from his last visit to the mountain being there were not high. Besides, the nurses seemed to be intrigued to listen to his stories.

"What's going on?" he got up from the bed he had taken seat on as he was being examined earlier on, "what happened?" he peered over Carolyn's shoulder as she hooked Sam up to an IV. And nurses did the same to the two other patients that had come in with her.

"Sir, if you could step back…" a nurse not occupied with tending to SG1 said, guiding him back to his seat as Jack, Mitchell, Landry and Vala rushed in after them.

"What happened to them?" he turned to Jack for an answer.

"There was an accident," Cam replied before "wait a second… who the hell are you?"

"Nick," Jack supplied his eyes flicking only from Teal'c to Daniel to Sam, only to start the cycle all over again once one circuit had been completed.

"Could you all please wait outside?" Carolyn not so much as requested but ordered "we need the space to work,"

Jack was about to object as was Cam, but Landry gave them both a look and all five of them, including Nick, were pushed out the door.

* * *

"There was an earthquake shortly after Colonel Mitchell departed for the Stargate," Teal'c supplied, his injuries healing fast and the few drugs he had permitted Carolyn administer him aiding his recovery far faster than they were Daniel and Sam but that was to be expected.

"I was thrown from my feet and lost consciousness for approximately five minutes. When I awoke I followed the path which Daniel Jackson and Colonel Carter's captors had taken them prior to the earthquake,"

"It took me considerable time to find them, they were located in separate make-shift cells, I noticed that they appeared to be made of something akin to human bone, but were far stronger. Neither Colonel Carter nor Daniel Jackson were conscious and both appeared to be badly injured, I managed to revive them both, Colonel Carter however drifted off once more,"

"Once I was certain that Daniel Jackson was well enough to attempt escape I formed a plan and we managed to make it almost to the Stargate before we were caught. A short battle ensued, there were not many who followed us."

"We couldn't dial in, we tried frequently," Carolyn said gently, she did not approve of the probing of her patient at this time but realised she had little choice in the matter.

"The Stargate had been buried beneath a rockslide that had been triggered by the earthquake, it took me several hours to free it as Daniel Jackson and Colonel Carter were unable to help,"

Jack's eyes slid from watching the jaffa to the no-longer unconscious but slumbering soundly Daniel and Sam in neighbouring beds, a surge of anger filled his chest; injuries sustained in a fair fight, or by accident were, although not welcomed and definitely not acceptable were understandable most of the time. But injury by torture…

First hand experience had him hating it even more, both Sam and Daniel had been through it. He'd watched them take far more than he believed any human being possibly could and both of them simply shook their heads and climbed back up again, never uttering a word of what their attackers wanted to know, or jeopardising anyone or anything else.

He knew they'd watched him be tortured, recalling his time in Ba'al's fortress he shuddered, he'd been furious that Daniel's only offer of help was to tell him to ascend, to join him in the land of the glowy, but the anger had been misdirected, his usual was.

Not that he'd been under any illusion that ascension was possible for him; good and pure of heart; he'd done things he did not want to remember, killed to many people for him to discern the exact number. He sure as hell wasn't headed for the big happy kingdom in the sky… he chuckled to himself at the bad pun.

"Will they be okay?" Nick asked Carolyn suddenly, watching the monitors giving readings on his grandson and his friend's stats.

"They'll be fine," Carolyn assured him, squeezing his elbow gently.

Jack looked at Cam when he gave him an odd look, the poor man still didn't know who 'Nick' was. "Mitchell, meet Daniel's grandpa Nick"

Cam blinked and looked from Jack to Nick, back to Jack then to Nick again "my _dad_ looks older than him," Cam retorted.

"The giant aliens made me young again!" Nick announced, grinning like a loon.

"Giant aliens?" Mitchell raised an eyebrow at him and Jack could not help but grin at Teal'c who was doing the jaffa equivalent to an amused smile; it looked more like the kind of grin you'd expect to see on a rather hungry predator. "Did he escape from somewhere?" he jerked a thumb at Nick.

"Nick spent twenty years in a psychiatric home in Oregon, the Crystal Skull incident-"

"The one where Jackson went out of phase right?"

Jack gave him a funny look "we took him with us to try and get Daniel back and we left him there with the giant aliens,"

"Giant aliens?"

"The Mayan God Quetzalcoatl and the remainder of his race," Teal'c translated calmly.

"Giant aliens sounds so much better," Jack countered childishly.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed after a moment, enjoying the taunting of Mitchell as much as he could.

* * *

Jack had not left the infirmary since Carolyn had permit the concerned friends back in, she had told them to leave several hours ago and had so far been as successful in getting the General to leave as she had in convincing Teal'c stay for over-night observation.

Lounging in a chair between the two beds, he was able to keep an eye on the both of them. Each had flickered in and out of sleep for most of the afternoon and never for long enough to say much of anything comprehensible by any one who wasn't fluent in a vague slur of words in both English and Egyptian.

He found himself staring at Sam; her blonde hair had fallen in her eyes since she had turned onto her side, facing him, although he had not been sat there when she had shifted. Curled up, hands beneath her cheek as she slept, the crisp white sheets and dark blue scrubs sharply contrasting but folding to every curve of her body.

He brushed her hair back and let his hand linger, the strands of hair silky soft and slipping through his fingers as he carded it back, she sighed in her sleep and he pulled back, afraid to get caught, even if it didn't matter any more.

* * *

Vala sat on Daniel's bed in his quarters on base cross-legged, preferring his room to her own at the time being, she pulled a pillow from behind her back and hugged it to her chest as she fell back to lie prone on the bed.

Fleeting moments of perfection, of a world so similar to that which she had experienced before Quetesh, of happiness and sincerity. Where a single look or just a touch broke a silence and filled it with words, not sickly words of love and adoration, words beyond articulation; a humming buzz, a soothing melody that no one else could hear.

But those moments were interspersed with bickering and arguing and even when the world seemed perfect and she could think of nothing but him she did not know where she stood, where he stood.

Did she _want _a relationship like that? The thought scared her, being around him was fun, always had been, even back on the Prometheus, flirting was a game she was good at, perfect even, the art of seduction a second nature. But family… she hadn't thought of starting a proper family in a long time.

Tomin had been sweet, caring and a doting husband but he was not her type. Quiet and far more loyal to his Gods than to his wife, willing to sacrifice her at the drop of a hat – that was an odd saying, one Cam had taught her – and not bat an eyelid in the process.

Adria had been a 'gift' from the Ori, a child she was note ready to have, nor wished to give birth too, she had grown in hours, and her entire body had ached to hold for just a second, her new born baby.

Daniel was strong, far stronger than Tomin, not so much physically, although she was pretty sure that if it came down to it and no weapons were involved Tomin wouldn't stand a chance. But he was loyal to his _friends _and she was reasonably certain that if one of _them _told him to kill her that he wouldn't do it.

The soaring feeling she felt in her chest when he smiled at her, a tiny little quirk of his lips that she could not help but love about him, was a wonderful sensation, she had not felt that even when she had been engaged before.

This baby would be human, could have dark or brown hair, blue eyes, she found herself hoping for blue eyes, Daniel's eyes, that way if… no _when, _things didn't turn out she would at least have one way of remembering him clearly. It could be a boy or a girl; it could be quick or slow, intelligent or… love. She'd thought love.

Love, love… what was love? Was it simple sex… no there was nothing simple about sex, or was it that feeling of completion? Was it the heartbreak and pain or was it the feeling of invincibility it gave you?

Was it him looking at you with that smile on his face and that look in his eyes and you knowing exactly what he is thinking and feeling? Was it refilling his coffee maker every time it neared empty just because you like the confused little frown that creases his brow when he comes across a line of some ancient text that doesn't quite make sense?

Or was it all of that and more?

Sick to the stomach yet bursting with energy that has no source, flying like a bird without any wings and ready to jump because you know he'll catch you before you hit the bottom.

Even if she did, even if it was true, then she couldn't do anything about it, she couldn't risk the pain. Having sex with him, kissing him, that was physical, she could give him her body and her mind without a thought, she trusted him with that. But her heart…

She felt no malice for the car accident, had felt guilty even, offered him her paycheck once and a haunted look had hit his eyes, and he had refused to take it.

She had never given anyone that much of her, men were her toys to manipulate and her mind a bottomless pit of unused ideas, her body a mere tool in the seduction. She used the tools and weapons she had within reach to her advantage. Vala had learnt long ago that the only thing her own heart could do was break and that was just not acceptable.

* * *

The infirmary was dimly lit and Jack was slumped in his seat, he appeared to be asleep, his neck at an angle Vala knew would hurt in the morning, she made no move to help him.

A snort from the other side of the infirmary had glancing over her shoulder; the source of the noise appeared to be a lump under the blankets of an infirmary bed.

Moving silently and with a stealth she knew she would loose much of in months to come, she took a seat beside Daniel's bed, he lay flat on his back, hands by his sides and the occasional breath caught in his throat as if it caused him pain.

His right foot was in a perfectly white cast, a bandage round his left wrist and bruises; grazes and scratches were scattered across the skin she could see. And, according to Teal'c's report which he had relayed to her personally, with far more detail than the impromptu one had apparently given before his release, he was going to have one hell of headache when he woke up.

She curled up, tucking her feet beneath her, and making herself as comfortable as possible in the chair she had claimed, her head resting on her hand and her elbow on her knee.

Daniel shifted and frowned in his sleep and she automatically reached forward, taking his hand and she smiled to herself when he turned and half-curled around it, squeezing it lightly before relaxing again as his dreams took a turn for the better.

* * *

"Sir?" Cam interrupted, the base was buzzing with life but the infirmary was eerily quiet, Nick was still sound asleep, as were Sam and Daniel. He noticed Vala had taken up residence in a chair on Daniel's right and was holding his hand loosely.

Jack jumped from the doze he had slipped into after having woken properly nearly two hours ago "Mitchell," he answered.

"How're they doing?"

"Both seem fine, Carter's been out like a light and Daniel hasn't moved since Vala came in," he answered, stretching before moving to sit more comfortably.

"With respect sir-"

"Carter says that right before she says something downright _dis_respectful," he smirked playfully, enjoying the look of discomfort that flashed across the younger man's face for a fraction of a second before it faded into a smile.

"What're you doing back?"

Jack froze; that was the million-dollar question wasn't it?

"Sir?" Cam prompted after Jack did not reply "sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it," he turned on his heel.

"I've retired," Jack's words stopped Mitchell in his tracks and he could not help but smirk when he turned around to stare at him.

"Why?" Mitchell asked, to shocked to add a formality and it did not seem that the now _ex_-USAF General cared.

Jack just smiled at him before glancing at the two still sleeping people he had sat by through many a sickness and injury and had no qualms about having had to do it again. They were part of his family, his team, and he never left _anyone _behind, now he was back, and this time, it was for good.

_Next Chapter: The man who is most important in the confirmation that Nick is who he says he is needs to be convinced which leads to him finding that Nick had more of an interest in his childhood than he originally suspected._


	21. Memories of Cairo

_Author's Notes: My friend (who changes her pen name frequently, through the duration of this fiction I believe she's been 'Tru Skye' 'The Sweetest Words' and is now on 'SesaGirl'… Anyway, she composed a poem, 'Kiss You' as a tag for this fiction, it's very good, and I gave her permission to post it so go check it out if you have a spare minute or two!_

Chapter 21: Memories of Cairo

You know that place, just between dreaming and waking, your eyes still closed and to all intense and purposes you're still dead to the world. Only instead of being involved helplessly in dreams that make no sense, you can control them for just a few moments as you try and escape a reality you know is just around the corner? He liked that place, that place was perfect.

Even as he fought to stay in that pain free place where Sha're, Skaara, Kasuf, parents he had long since stopped dreaming of nightly and all the other people he had loved and lost still existed, he lost the battle.

The sheets of the infirmary bed were crisp yet warm where they had absorbed his body heat. The pillows rustled if he moved his head and the sheets and blankets on top of him were thin yet layered high, and somehow he had managed to cocoon himself in them whilst he slept.

His last clear memory was not a pleasant one, fists and boots colliding with his torso, curling round his head protectively as Sam did the same not four feet from him. Tazers fired at close to point-blank range and manic laughter echoed the zap that precluded the inevitable pain.

Daniel moved his fingers and after the initial spike of a dull ache tore through his body he found they were enclosed round someone else's. Reluctant, but curiosity getting the better of him he opened his eyes and unsurprisingly it was Vala who sat beside him still asleep but a blanket had been tucked round her, presumably by a thoughtful nurse.

He wiped the stupid smile he found his lips had formed off his face the second he realised it was there. Pulling his hand away from hers as if it were scorching hot he turned onto his back, his left foot brushed against the heel of his right, and despite the pain that shot through it at that touch he recognised the cast that it was fixed in.

Six weeks on crutches were straight ahead of him, he wouldn't be going through the 'gate for a while then, not that he felt at all up to it right now anyway.

"Dannyboy!" Jack greeted delightedly from somewhere on Daniel's left; he winced at the volume of his friend's voice.

"Wha' you doin' here?" he croaked, blinking against the lights as they burned his retinas like an ice pick through the skull, it took a moment to pass but eventually it did.

"How're you feeling?"

"Sore," he muttered back, fumbling round for someway to sit up properly, succeeding only with Jack's help that was given without a word.

"Welcome back Jackson," Cam said nodding smartly, rocking on his heels at the foot of the bed. "Met you're grandpa last night, now I know where you get it from,"

Daniel frowned, "Nick? How'd you meet Nick?"

"Giant aliens sent him packing, Thor picked him up and beamed him into the 'gate room," Jack replied as Nick re-entered the infirmary after having taken a visit to the commissary under guard. "Hey Nick, Daniel's awake now,"

Daniel blinked, even without his glasses on, or contacts in he could tell that was not Nick. Even so he reached for them anyway and stopped only when the memory of them being removed for fear they might be a 'weapon' of some kind back on P… his head hurt to much to think about that right now.

"Daniel," Nick greeted a soft smile on his face as his gaze slid to a still slumbering Vala before back to his gaping grandson.

"Who're you?"

Nick raised an eyebrow, the movement stiff and unnatural as if he had just recently learnt the action from a certain resident to the base.

"You're not Nick," it wasn't an accusation just a presumed statement of a fact he genuinely believed.

The short dark hair was only flecked with grey and bright eyes twinkled and sparkled with the same delighted curiosity that had been narrowed in a disapproving glare for most of the times Daniel had ever seen him.

Only fading at those tiny moments where it was not two academics fighting for their believes but just two men. The only connection either had too the same woman who had been both a daughter and a mother for too short a time, was each other and an understanding was reached far beyond the level they recognised to exist.

Daniel looked at Cam "what happened?" he demanded, his frequent expression of not so patient understanding breaching his still sleep-ridden features.

"Don't ask me," Mitchell held up his hands in an 'I surrender' motion.

"Jack?"

"Giant aliens," was the honest reply.

He returned to looking at his 'grandfather' "Nick?" he said testily, okay, so maybe it was true… they'd seen this before, encountered devices that could change the physical age… the Argosians for example, they were aged years in just a matter of days.

So it was technically possible to age in the opposite direction, the Goa'uld lived far, far longer than the human body was capable of. So a gene therapy or a nanite that provoked such an occurrence… the wraith in the Pegasus Galaxy regenerated at a phenomenal rate, the Unas… this was Sam's area of expertise.

Nick nodded and stepped forward, taking a seat on the end of Daniel's bed and smiling "I will tell you more later Daniel, Doctor Lam says you need rest,"

"I'm fine," he assured the other man "now-"

"Later Daniel," he enthused "I will tell you everything you need to know _later,"_

"Daniel?" Vala murmurred, squinting against the lights as she awoke.

Daniel turned his head "yeah,"

Her eyes snapped open as she pushed the blanket away, swinging her feet to the floor "are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he found himself repeating.

"Far from it Daniel Jackson, Doctor Lam informs me you are not even in the vicinity of fine," Teal'c intoned, stepping into the room where the only person still asleep was Sam.

"The word he used was 'sore'," Cam offered.

"I'm still not convinced you're Nick," Daniel pushed the topic back to the matter at hand, far more important than words he had used to describe his health since waking less than fifteen minutes ago.

Nick held up a finger was a motion to 'hold on' before delving into a pocket on the inside of the cardigan that looked rather odd and strangely misshapen on a man of Nick's new age.

He produced a bundle of papers, held together by an elastic band that he removed carefully, the papers, varying in type, and all folded to approximately the same size were well thumbed as if they had been handled many times. There were not many in the pile, some were identifiable as photographs merely by the thickness of the paper.

Turning them to the right way up Nick flicked through them before holding one out "this is you at six years old," he handed the picture over.

Daniel's eyes drawn straight to the small blonde boy in the centre of the image, his smile cheery and innocent, his father crouched next to him, hands on his waist and smiling at the person holding the camera.

"And this one," he handed over another, smiling as Vala and Jack strained to see them but the photos were shielded from their view "was taken ten months later, you're father was worried sick that day,"

"What happened?" Cam asked as Daniel finally relinquished his hold on the pictures and let Vala examine them.

"Melburn had taken Daniel to a market in Cairo," Nick began "Daniel wandered of,"

"Started young then?" Jack interrupted his eyes met Nick's only briefly.

"Claire nearly had a fit when she found out, Daniel had been missing for four hours before Melburn found him wandering amongst the stalls, completely oblivious to being alone-"

"He told me not to tell her," Daniel recalled, his voice soft "but one of the other men on the dig had been into town as well-"

"And had overheard, he told your mother as soon as he got back,"

Vala handed the photographs to Cam "nice hair Jackson," he teased, the longish blonde hair resembled more of a birds nest in the second picture.

Nick unfolded the top sheet of paper "this was sent when you were… five I think… Dad," he began "You should join us soon, I haven't seen you in nearly a year now and the height of the dig season is coming up. It would great if you could join us…" he skimmed further down the page of minuscule but neat handwriting, "… Melburn wishes you his best and Danny misses you, enclosed is something he made for you, hope to hear from you soon, all my love, Claire."

Nick picked up he next sheet and smoothed it over carefully, a charcoal-drawn image of a sphinx was on the left the word 'Nick' written underneath big and with a shaky hand and on the right, in pencil, painstakingly copied hieroglyphs. "The seeker has need of a master to guide him and lift him up when he falls, to lead him back to the right way when he strays."

Daniel muttered the words along with him under his breath, unperturbed by the four pairs of eyes that were fixed on him.

"Believe me now?" Nick asked as the photographs were returned to him, then "she was my daughter, you and Melburn her family," he tucked the bundle of paper back into his cardigan, blissfully ignorant of the stares that were flicking between the two of them.

"Bad history?" Mitchell mouthed to Jack who nodded soundly.

Nick handed three pieces of paper back; the two photographs along with another he had not displayed, Daniel took them, smiling sadly at the third picture. Claire was in that one, her, Melburn and a child of no more than two all sat on the floor of a tent together, smiling and happy.

"Daniel," Carolyn greeted warmly "how're you feeling?"

* * *

"So you two are married?" Nick asked Vala as she and Mitchell walked through the corridors of the SGC with him in tow, giving him the full tour of the mountain in all its details. He turned to Mitchell "and alien entities had possessed them at the time?" 

"Yep," Vala nodded cheerily, a sudden weight had been lifted with Daniel's awakening, and with it the overwhelming desire to leave the base had dampened, albeit only slightly but enough for her to be comfortable again.

"This is fascinating!" he laughed "a great grandchild on the way as well! Daniel has certainly progressed since I last saw him," he pushed the door to the infirmary open and smiled at Sam who stared at him, having woken only minutes before and been sat up barely two, even with forewarning by the still-refusing-to-leave O'Neill it was a shock. "Major Carter!"

"N-Nick?" wide blue eyes fixed on him.

"That's him," Daniel mused absently, pausing a moment before shifting his bishop forward three spaces, in line with Teal'c's king "check,"

The game was set up on the rollaway table and Teal'c's hand darted forward, and moved the endangered piece backwards out of the way.

"Has General Landry got you settled in one of the VIP rooms?" Sam asked, her voice soft and her usually perfect complexion marred slightly with scratches and the threat of a rather prominent bruise to her right cheekbone.

"He has not," Nick said, gliding over to her bed, and perching on the edge, much like he had done to Daniel hours before.

"Doctor Lam wished to observe him further yesterday evening," Teal'c said just as Daniel declared a 'stalemate.'

"You could always stay with Jackson," Mitchell offered, arms folded, smirking at the startled expression on Daniel's face at the proclamation.

"I-"

"Yes!" Vala exclaimed, much to her husband's dismay "family bonding!"

Mitchell snorted and had to bite his fist for a moment in a very poor attempt at hiding his smile.

"I believe the phrase is 'get your mind out of the drain' Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c admonished his comrade, mirth twinkling in his eyes even so.

Daniel who had flushed at both the offer and Mitchell's implications muttered "gutter Teal'c," before regaining his composure "I don't think-"

"That's quite a good idea," Carolyn said "with you injured Doctor Jackson you're going to need all the help you can get and Vala can only do so much,"

Nick remained silent throughout the entire exchange, preferring to observe from his position near Sam's feet. Staying with Daniel… well it had its obvious obstacles, their clashing opinions would provide certain entertainment for anyone listening, or if Daniel was still as much of an extrovert when he got worked up over something as he always had been, watched.

But it had it's merits; somewhere normal to stay, he could catch up on what he had missed over the past seven years, and maybe even in more detail than he already knew regarding what had happened before then.

Vala was a unique woman, and from the brief description he had gotten of Sha're there were blatant similarities but also some rather more obvious differences.

"But-"

"Why not Daniel?" Vala asked innocently "it would be fun,"

"Fun," Daniel mumbled to himself "is _exactly_ what it _won't_ be,"

_Next Chapter:_ _Daniel finds himself with two new 'roommates', is he up to the challenge or is it just a disaster just waiting to happen?_

_If any of you haven't already please do check out my message board (link in previous chapters and on my profile)_

_Please Review!_


	22. Invasive Maneouvres

_Author's Notes: Nick takes it upon himself to give Daniel a swift kick up the – a big talk from Nick on the way, a rather irate Daniel, a story about a camel and a fish called Daryl. (That name has no meaning if you haven't seen 'The Quest Part 2' but I assure you the episode has no relevance to this fiction as yet, when and if it does I'll let you know. However I can tell you that if you haven't seen it and would like to, it's available in five parts on YouTube)_

Chapter 22: Invasive Manoeuvres

He'd always hated crutches; they were too restrictive and made him clumsy and unbalanced. Daniel was an independent man and even predicted expressions of sympathy and offers of help were patronising, only serving to fuel the realisation that he actually _did _need the help.

Add to the fact that one of his wrists was only half healed and so the weight it could bare was barely a quarter of what would be have been preferable, even so he had refused the wheelchair. The prospect of Nick and Vala being let loose on the SGC together with him incapacitated was not a welcoming thought.

He smiled politely at the airmen who held the elevator for him before they both made their ways to their respective floors. The rumble of the floor made the crutches shake. Why was he in such a bad mood? Oh. Yeah.

"Daniel!" Vala exclaimed brightly from by the Airforce car Nick was already sat in.

He smiled at her "hey,"

She bounced forwards and took the bag containing his laptop and multiple notebooks from his shoulder, handing it to a second airmen who put it in the trunk, along with what appeared to be everything Vala owned.

One guest is accepted.

Two is company.

Three is an invasion.

* * *

Vala looked like he had upon seeing Stargate the first time when she entered his apartment, circling on the spot and skimming a critical gaze across every wall, chair and book in the room.

Transfixed by the ornate artefacts that Jack had once or twice called 'clutter' and upon seeing the fish tank in the corner she swept over to it and placed her palm flat against it, leaning in close as the multicoloured tropical fish swam in front of her face. "Do they have names Daniel?" she breathed as the airmen began putting the bags in the doorway.

"Uh no…"

Vala gave him a quizzical look as he stood several feet from her, Nick had moved to help the airmen with Vala's luggage; she turned back to the fish. "I'll do it!" she volunteered happily, she pointed one out "that one," she pointed a colourful red and blue one "can be Sam," she announced.

"And that one," she pointed a yellow-gold fish with a black stripe down it's fins "can be Mitchell. And…" a dark orange fish with black circles round it's eyes and stripes on it's tail "that one is Teal'c," one of the larger fish caught her attention, swimming right up to face her.

With light and dark blue colouring and big eyes "Jack, that one is Jack," then her smile broadened, Daniel saw it in the reflection in the tank "now _that _one." She tapped the glass gently with her fingernail as a tiny little black fish with white markings down it's finds appeared from behind a rock "_that _one is Daryl,"

He ignored her, turning his head to watch another load of belongings were deposited in his hall.

"Sit down Daniel," Nick patted his back "Steve and I have got it."

* * *

He wasn't a loner by choice; in fact he loved being around people, particularly his friends. Friday nights at Jack's place with Sam and Teal'c, or at Mitchell's for a movie night. Teal'c's quarters on base for Kel-no-reem that the jaffa no longer needed but the relaxation it provoked was almost addictive. They were all wonderful places to be, comfortable, homely. Not like his own apartment right now though.

Chinese had been a good idea at the time he had ordered it, now looking at the barely touched box of egg-friend rice in his hands and the egg rolls on the coffee table he no longer felt hungry.

Sat on the couch, his feet up on the cushions on the opposite end, the broken ankle well cushioned by pillows Vala had obtained from the linen cupboard. Before she had taken the dozen or so cases of her belongings into his bedroom despite his protest that she could use the spare room, only to be silenced by her retort of "I am _not _sharing a room with Nick, Daniel,"

The cast was now not entirely white, Mitchell having insisted that he had it signed had been a mildly embarrassing process as Jack and Mitchell had spent a good fifteen minutes discussing what _exactly _to write themselves.

However they had been merciful after Carolyn had threatened to have them both thrown out of the infirmary and that despite Jack being retired she was sure she could give them _both_, _full _physicals next time it was necessary.

Teal'c had not seen the point in the process but had relented when he saw Vala's apprehension. He'd had to agree with Teal'c, he'd broken bones before, and would break them again, why sign it at all, although he had to admit he had felt a little disappointed Vala had not contributed.

He tossed the box and utensils onto the coffee table, sighing belatedly he leant his head back only to find it resting in yet _another _pillow Vala had propped there without him noticing before she had gone to sit outside with his newly returned grandfather. He straightened up again and reached to the floor to pick up the crutches.

Getting to his feet was always one of the hardest parts of being reliant on something other than his own two feet to get up, that and stairs. Delighted to find the coffee maker half full he simply flipped the switch and got a mug out as he waited for it to boil.

Frowning at the full mug once he had made it he suddenly realised how hard it was going to be to get back to the couch with it. For a second he contemplated calling for help, he banished the thought.

However the normally easy task became a mammoth one, and tilting off balance for just a second had the mug shattering on the tiled floor, him grabbing at his crutches as they threatened to fall away and hot coffee spilling down his pant leg.

Swearing in about four different languages he shook his leg to try and alleviate the sting of the scalding liquid, taking several breaths before making the decision to attempt cleaning the mess up. He had got no further than reopening his eyes than Vala and Nick were in the kitchen, shocked expressions of 'what happened?' on their faces.

"Daniel?" Vala asked, eyes drawn from the mess of coffee and porcelain on the tiles to his face.

"I'm fine," he muttered as Nick crouched down and began collecting the pieces of the mug and dropping them in the trash.

Vala took his wrist and tugged on it lightly "you need to change," she reminded him when he resisted, going to help Nick, he relented and let her lead him into his bedroom where she immediately went to unbutton his jeans. Thankfully he was near the bed when he released the crutches and knocked her hands aside, as he sat down with more a fall to his descent than he wanted to recognise.

"Daniel," she chided.

"Vala please, I just… can you go away?"

Hurt raced to her eyes even as she tried to dampen it "I was trying to help,"

The urge to snap at her was overwhelming "I don't need it," he added a tight smile to his sentence and she left, closing the door with a soft click after her.

He let himself lie back on the bed, the sheets cool against his skin he lay there for a moment before checking his watch; barely eight thirty, but at least if he went to bed now he could read in quiet. So much for the coffee.

* * *

Nick replaced the mop and sweeping brush in their rightful places as Vala returned. "Are you okay?" he asked as he followed her example and sat next to her on the couch "hey?" he nudged her shoulder with his.

"I'm… I don't know,"

Nick frowned "what's not to know?"

She shook her head dismissively, going to stand up but Nick's hand on her shoulder forced her back down again.

"Vala," he warned.

She sighed "it's just… it's like he's two different people, for a moment it's like he cares, and the next it's more as if he can't stand to be anywhere near me. I'm trying, and I know I'm not… well let's just say Daniel and I don't always get along,"

Nick nodded "Daniel is stubborn," he stated softly, a matter-of-fact expression on his face.

Vala smiled slightly.

"He loves you,"

She snorted derisively "no he doesn't. He _pities _me,"

"Do _you_ love him?"

Did she? Of course n… maybe? Possibly, a little bit? Yeah right, 'in love a little bit' that's a stupid as the human phrases 'half-dead' and 'a little bit pregnant' could she admit it? No. No she couldn't, that would be like handing the enemy the gun and asking them to fire, three words so brilliantly self-destructive it was laughable.

She was so sick of being the one head-over-heels, trying so hard it hurt and not getting anything back. It was pathetic and whiny and childish and so… not her.

All those months ago, trapped in bed, threatening to leave, no not threatening, she'd meant it, then he'd kissed her and then sat with her and talked to her. For just a few hours she'd been a heaven she could never have imagined; why wasn't it like that any more?

Why did it feel like if she should initiate a kiss she would be pushed away violently, eyes burning with disgust would sear her skin and she would be left worse off than she already was?

And on top of it all she was pregnant… was she forever bid to have children no one wanted? That she had not been in control of the conception? That no one had? The memory of Adria's birth blazed in her mind even as she tried to forget. This child was no creation of the Ori or the Ancients or of anything of that kind. It was a normal conception. It wasn't easy to remind herself of that, and sometimes… sometimes she just wanted a little reassurance.

"Go talk to him," Nick said firmly, squeezing her shoulder encouragingly.

* * *

Smiling briefly at Nick as he did so, she carried a new mug of coffee with intention to present it as a peace offering into Daniel's bedroom, closing the door softly behind him. She went to speak but didn't when she saw he was beneath the comforter sound asleep.

He was lying on his right, his injured foot tucked behind his left knee and the duvet had been pushed back to his waist. Vala did not know how long she stood just inside the closed-door way, but it was long enough for her back to start aching. Not that, that was very long now. Her stomach was prominent and it was no longer possible for her to disguise her current predicament.

Placing the mug on the chest of drawers against the wall opposite the bed amidst various books and papers she was careful to shift aside so as not to damage them.

He looked peaceful in sleep; the lines that creased his forehead during the day were smooth and non-existent, his chest rose and fell with a comforting strength. His left wrist, still bandaged was crisp and white against the dark red of the bedspread.

Changing slowly and quietly so as not to wake him she crept beneath the covers once in her tank top and shorts, pulling the duvet up round his shoulders she watched him frown and flinch in his sleep jerking away from her. She waited a moment before reaching forward and brushing a stray hair from his eyes, he calmed and she felt an odd sense of joy wash over her at that.

* * *

There was a lightweight on the side of his head, his eyes flickered open and he found that it was Vala's hand, her fingers twitching every so often and stroking his hair.

He took her wrist and pushed it over to her. She was in his _bed. _What the hell was she doing in his bed… He had a perfectly good couch she could sleep on, two armchairs… why was it aggravating him so much?

He'd been short-tempered and easily irked ever since he'd been roped into permitting the 'invasion' but it wasn't an invasion if they had his permission was it?

Throwing back the blankets he reached for the crutches and left the room silently, once out on the balcony he regretted having not put on a robe or jacket of some sort instantly.

"Daniel?" Nick's voice drifted outside along with a thrum of music a party two blocks away. "How're you feeling?"

Daniel turned his head and blinked at him, he glanced at his wrist.

"Midnight," Nick offered when Daniel found he wasn't wearing his watch.

Daniel nodded and turned to look back outside.

"Did Vala talk to you?"

"If by talk you mean get into bed with me…"

"Daniel," he chided.

"Look…" he rubbed his eyes exasperatedly "I'm sorry-"

"You should be," Nick stated sternly "after what that girl is trying to do for you, you should be sorry."

Daniel sighed "here we go," he mumbled without even realising he'd spoken out loud.

"Why don't you just give her a chance?"

"It's not that easy!"

"What's not easy Daniel? The fact that you love her? Or the fact that you feel it so much it's like all the air is sucked from the room like a vacuum when she leaves it? I've seen your face Daniel; I've seen the way you look at her. You love her and you're terrified."

Daniel whirled round to look at his grandfather, it was impossible to have this conversation, to look at this man and call him 'grandpa' as he had done only once seven years ago, back when he'd still be mourning the loss of Sha're and celebrating Skaara's successful release from Klorel.

His hair wasn't grey and sparse; it didn't glitter in the light with a regal air to it that echoed his eccentricity. He wasn't hunching over, his skin wasn't wrinkled, he wasn't so pale, his stature did not alternate frequently between being as frail as porcelain and looking as strong as many of the soldiers that walked through the 'gate did. He wasn't _Nick_.

"You don't understand," he snapped viciously, this was insane, this was his apartment, his home.

His kitchen should be empty except for half a box of crackers and coffee because he hadn't been there in a week and had neglected to go to the store for at least two weeks before then, not full of food she had ordered to be delivered using his laptop.

His fish should be in the living room, clamouring for food that he was yet to give them, not named after fundamental officers of the US Airforce.

His bathroom cupboard should have a toothbrush, toothpaste, a few razors, and a bottle of cologne he rarely wore. Tylenol, aspirin and a half-empty bottle of sleeping tablets.

It shouldn't have skincare products, mascara, eye shadow, lipstick… some rather unique smelling bath oils that didn't smell half as appealing before they had made contact with water. And more perfumes than Vala had gone through after using his card to buy out half the store when she had first come to Earth, many of _them,_ he noticed, were missing.

"No Daniel," Nick said definitely, his temper even and his tone although insistent and if Daniel wished to name it, authoritative, "_you _don't. That girl loves you. All you have to do is look at her. She's fun, she's lively, she's playful, she's flirtatious and she will do _anything _to make you happy, and all you can do is brush her off. Very few people ever meet someone who will look at them like that; you got lucky Danny, really lucky, you met a woman who would give the _world _and everything in and surrounding it just to see you smile. And you did it twice."

"Nick just… stay out of this!"

"Don't be selfish Daniel,"

Daniel gave a hollow laugh "Vala… Vala and I made a mistake,"

"You have to live with that."

Daniel snorted and turned out to lean on the railing of the balcony, darkness was like a cold sheet that blanketed the city, his thin white t-shirt was a bitter protection against the icy chill of the metal railing.

Nick went to stand next to him; leaning back against the railing, arms folded "when you were a young boy, to young for you to remember. I visited you and your mother in Egypt, you saw an infant camel on the outskirts of the camp alone, and you got to your feet and you ran as fast as you could. The camel was injured, we never found out how it came to be so, but it was not going to survive, your father told you that."

He paused to see if Daniel would acknowledge him. He didn't.

"It was too badly injured to hurt anyone and you refused to leave it so your mother gave it a shot of morphine for the pain even though she knew it would do little good. And you sat there with the camel for three and half-hours, you didn't move, just sat there stroking its head again and again."

He paused once more.

"When Claire was putting you to bed, I asked you why you did that, why you stayed and you said because it was alone and it was scared, because it needed somebody with it to stop it hurting for a little while. You need _her_ Daniel, maybe she can stop _you_ hurting." He straightened up and went to go back inside.

"It's hard,"Daniel looked down at his hands as he fidgeted slightly.

Nick smiled "I know it's hard Daniel. And I know you think you're betraying Sha're but your not. From what General O'Neill and Colonel Carter have told me she loved you more than anything else, she wouldn't want you unhappy and I think that Vala is exactly the kind of person Sha're would want you to be with. She's beautiful Danny, and you know it."

_Author's Notes: Go Nick! So…_

_No 'Next Chapter' this time, mainly coz I have no idea what happens next chapter because I might be putting another chapter in..._


	23. Just in the ‘Nick’ of Time

_Author's Notes: After re-reading what I have written for this fiction rather than the brief plan I have stored I found that in every single opportunity that Daniel and Vala had to actually reconcile **something **had happened which had prevented them from doing so. I mean, in the plan they were supposed to have been fine after 'Open Earth' and 'Fall Out' but for one reason or another they just didn't._

_I have since discovered that I appear to… well… suck at romance, and was putting it off because I didn't know how to write it. They reconcile or at least **begin **to in this chapter, Vala may be too forgiving and hopefully her thoughts in this chapter and the next few ('Bernie and Dolores' – yep they'll be back – and 'Be My Lady') will clear it up._

_But then again they're may be more chapters put in than is in the plan – originally this fiction was pushing 19 chapters, in the **basic **plan it's now pushing 40 and I still don't have an ending! Enough of my rambling! On to Daniel's!_

_As far as I know there has been no recollection of time in this fiction, so I've picked a random month; March._

Chapter 23: Just in the 'Nick' of Time

Daniel stayed outside long after Nick had headed off to bed; the chilly night air bit his skin and he shivered but he could not bring himself to move. He knew he would have to soon as he had work in the morning and couldn't very well sleep in when he had a Mitchell coming to pick him up.

Nick's words rang true, and they were personal which is what surprised him; his grandfather had never been a personal man, never mentioned having letters, or photographs, never mind carrying them around on his person. But then again why _couldn't _he carry them? Claire had been his daughter, he had raised her, and okay he might not have been nominated for 'world's best parent award' same as he had missed the closing date for the entry for 'best grandpa' but he still had to love her.

Nick had never expressed an open opinion about Melburn he was simply 'Claire's husband' and 'Danny's dad' nothing special. Sometimes they had shared ideas; usually conflicting on the one or two visits the old man had treated them with in Daniel's early childhood but never said whether or not he liked him. Whereas Melburn had been very clear on his feelings for his father-in-law, at first he had not had a problem with him but then, as his reasons for not visiting became less valid and his responses less regular he had expressed a rather prominent dislike for the man.

And there was the other thing, Nick had only called him Danny in his early years, maybe until he was three or four, so why now? He was very different now though, more vocal, less bitter, still stubborn and still curious but none the less he was far more… well not grandfatherly but friendly was a good term to use, than he had been twelve years ago… twelve years! That was a long time.

Twelve years since he had sat down and had a conversation with the man. The Crystal Skull incident not withstanding, any conversations then had been under due course, without him Daniel would more than likely have stayed trapped, maybe not forever but considerably longer than he had in the first place.

He sighed, his warm breath creating a cloud with the icy air, he pushed off the railing and hobbled back inside, shutting the door and feeling goose bumps rise on his skin as the apartment was far warmer than outside.

Suddenly feeling exhausted once more he went back to his room and climbed back into bed, blankets up to his chin he watched the young woman next to him, her face expressionless but beautiful. What was he doing?

Why was he waiting? Was Nick right? Fear was always a possibility; fear of the way he felt but he had never considered himself to be a man with commitment issues. However settling down had never been something he had been particularly good at. Living in Egypt and going on digs meant a few months here and a few months there.

Then to New York and that fateful day when his entire world had capsized beneath his tiny-eight-year-old feet, orphanages and foster homes, never once adopted just fostered. The word itself an echo in a child's mind of 'not quite wanted.' Abydos for a year with the perfect fairytale life of an archaeologist, then back to Earth, living with Jack for a few weeks. Then to his apartment, ascended for a year, back to earth… the list got more intricate and more detailed as he thought about it. Maybe he did fear settling down.

He and Sha're had never considered having a child; it had been an idea, a mere thought in the backs of their minds that one day, yes, they would, it was expected; Sha're was a princess. But it was never as if they were actually _trying _to have one, neither would have been disappointed if she had fallen pregnant but it was just not something they had discussed before Apophis had so cruelly snatched her away.

Or maybe it was the way Vala made him feel that he was afraid of… it had been a long time since his heart had pounded in his ears and his breath had caught in his chest when a woman had walked into the room. Sure he could appreciate them, but there was a difference, a very solid difference; Sam was pretty, intelligent, he'd even go as far as to say she was sexy, not that he'd ever say the latter aloud, but Sam was like a sister.

Carolyn was attractive, many of the officers on base certainly thought so, and Janet had been but it didn't mean that they meant anything in particular to him. He loved them all, but the same way he loved his _friends_, all his friends, okay it would be weird to say he loved Jack, Teal'c and Mitchell but it was the basic principal he was after.

He reached across tentatively and placed his palm flat against Vala's stomach, tendrils of fire twisting up his arm in a pleasant way at the contact. He jumped when she moved in her sleep, one hand coming to rest on top of his as she shifted closer to him and laced her fingers loosely with his using their unoccupied hands; a simple gesture but enough for him to be staring at her, tense and wide-eyed.

He waited several moments before relaxing, both his hands in hers but it didn't feel as wrong as he thought it would; it was almost nice, besides, it wasn't like he was able to move without waking her anyway.

He knew he should stop trying to control it, it wasn't possible to control who you loved and who you didn't, who you wanted and who you had but it wasn't that easy; he may _think_ that she's wrong, but was it possible that she was also _right?_

* * *

"Wakey, wakey! Come on everybody rise and shine!" Can's eerily cheery voice vibrated through the walls, loud and offensive for it being so early, what he was doing there Daniel did not know although he did have every intention of finding out just as soon as he felt the suddenly non-existence urge to move.

Vala stirred and immediately Daniel found himself pulling away, and closing his eyes which were oh so eager to do so after the unwanted wake-up call. If he was going to do something he wanted to make a definitive decision before questions started being asked and answers he did not know demanded.

A rapping at the door followed by a "c'mon Jackson! Up and at 'em!" had him rolling dramatically on to his back. He was beginning to hate that voice. No wonder when off-world missions lasted over night and sharing the tents was required he bunked with Teal'c, leaving Sam and Vala to share and Mitchell on his own. At least _Teal'c _understood the meaning of 'morning'.

"Daniel?" Vala asked sleepily "Why is Cam in your apartment?" she blinked wide-eyed at him and suddenly he had to resist the temptation to flatten her sleep mussed hair.

"I have no idea," he muttered, running a hand over his face as Nick could be heard chastising Cam out in the hall.

"I'm sorry," she said after a few moments of silence, he squinted his eyes in the semi-darkness the curtains provided and looked at her.

"What for?"

She was silent and went to look back at the patterns on the ceiling, leaving him to ponder the meaning of her apology. What was she doing? And why hadn't he kicked her out of his bed yet? The daring that had accompanied the act of getting _in_ to it the night before had long since dissipated leaving her feeling rather foolish and for once, as if she had been too forward in any action that could have been translated as forward.

"I'm…" he found himself unable to finish the sentence and she jerked her head to look at him, he swallowed, "for…" he sighed "everything,"

She snorted derisively and opened her mouth to speak, however Cam's knocking on the door and declaring "coffee's on sunshine!" had her snapping at him instead with a well deserved "we're busy Cameron!" in a tone of voice that promoted no room for arguing.

About to protest at how that probably had come off without even realising that it would be pointless Daniel found himself suddenly pinned to the bed. With the quilt still round her shoulders Vala had moved with far more grace than Daniel had thought possible for a woman so far pregnant and was straddling his hips, her hands pinning his arms to the bed, careful of his injured wrist she stared at him.

"Er… Vala?" he gave an experimental wriggle and then bit back a noise of pain as she dug her knees into his ribs for a second until he stilled; he shook his head slightly once when she gave him a concerned look as she recalled his injuries.

This was fun, the flicker of fear in his eyes, the trademark glint of waning patience and what she found herself liking the most; the rush of suppressed excitement that blazed there.

Her patience had been wearing thin; her vulnerability and her waiting for him to move and she had just stopped. For just a second she had let her normal self rule her behaviour and it had led to this. More exciting, far more interesting and with far better leverage than she had, had before.

Leaning over him, her hair tickling the sides of his face as she got closer her heart soared as he did not resist her ministrations and she kissed him deeply, more lust involved in the kiss than anything else, lips bound to bruise with the intensity, she released his hands so as to use one to tuck her hair behind her ear before using both to cup his face beneath hers.

Once freed his hands immediately caught her hips before gliding up her body, one catching the back of her head and the other tracing firm patterns on the skin beneath her pyjama top, eyes closed the one long kiss turned into plenty of short chaste ones, all and echo of what they both wanted. Oddly no part of him was screaming that he shouldn't be doing this, in fact, he'd even go as far as to say he hadn't felt so perfect in a very long time.

"This isn't-" she kissed him again "what I had-" he pushed her away and his hands returned to her waist keeping her where she was "in mind,"

"You're stupid," she accused abruptly "and," she sat up, her defiance nothing but comical sat on his lap with her thumbs stroking the thin cotton shirt beneath her palms "I think I might hate you,"

Daniel paused, unable to think of a reply "… oh,"

"Which is also stupid,"

If she was making sense it was obviously on a level he was yet to engage with. "Vala?"

Bite the bullet here, just do it, just tell him, it's not like he can reject you any further, besides, your sat on his lap in his bed, pregnant with his child, he's all you can think about and damn, he's a good kisser. "Because I think I love you too,"

He stared at her, this was… far further than he had intended to go when he woken up, a quick apology, a lecture, maybe a smack in the face but this… this was just…

"You've been a jerk," she accused, staring at him intensely.

"I-"

"And I don't know why I still care, because I shouldn't, not after everything you've done,"

What the – okay he might have deserved that, oh hell yes he deserved it, and more, she should just hit him already, it would make them both feel better. "Vala-"

"Don't say sorry," she cut him off "I don't want you to say sorry,"

Gone was the invincibility, sadness haunted her eyes and pleading noted her voice and he found himself nodding and muttering "okay," tentatively he lifted a hand to tuck a lock of loose hair back from her eyes and she tensed for a moment but didn't not knock his hand away. His thumb brushed her cheek as he cupped her face for a moment and her hand came and met it, interlocking their fingers as her eyes drifted closed, silent tears leaking out from beneath closed lids.

She let him pull her down to lie on top of him comfortably and her breath hitched as he wrapped his arms round her, pulling the duvet up over them both and kissing the top of her head uncertainly.

She opened her eyes, not that he knew that, as he rubbed her back gently, whispering something she wasn't sure she could be bothered to try and understand. What was going on here? Last night he had been so evasive, short tempered and dismissive, this morning… this morning was almost dreamlike, so much so she wasn't sure she wanted to believe it. That's why he couldn't apologise because in every single dream she had had, the moment he said it she woke up and was forced to face a cruel reality.

But what if this _was _reality and he _had_ tried to apologise and she really _was _lying in his arms on a chilly morning in March but then that would mean…

"You two finished yet?" Cam knocked on the door "we're leaving in twenty minutes,"

* * *

The briefing room was far fuller than usual. Landry was yet to arrive but there was still Jack, SG1, Nick and Carolyn sat at it, idle chat filling in the uncomfortable areas of silence and at others just letting the blanket fall.

Mitchell and Sam got to their feet as Landry entered, Jack gave a half salute but didn't bother and Landry nodded at the two Lieutenant Colonels as he took his seat and they retook theirs.

"Doctor Ballard," Landry greeted the new face at the table with his usual cheerful smile.

"Nick," he corrected, smiling back and nodding, giving everyone at the table a good couple of seconds a solid stare.

"_Nick,"_

Nick nodded and didn't take the offered hand.

Sam looked a little worse for wares but otherwise okay, despite the scare she had given when she had not woken for several hours after Daniel had in the infirmary. She had suffered from a severe concussion, various cuts and abrasions but nothing that would keep her off her feet for very long, albeit she was yet to be cleared for active duty. SG1 was earth-bound for a while yet, as Mitchell was adamant that he wasn't going to go off world without every member of his team ready and raring to go.

"So what exactly happened to you?" Cam addressed Nick and suppressed a shudder when he was pinned by the blue eyes.

"The Giant Aliens told me everything," he turned to face Daniel, smiling a little in reminiscence "it was… amazing,"

Daniel nodded in understanding.

"Then a man came and visited the planet, the aliens hid me of course and he shouted a warning and it echoed off the walls of the pyramid."

"What'd he say?" Mitchell drummed his pen on the desk in front of him.

Nick turned again "he said something about the Ori and then he left,"

Jack nodded encouragingly "and then…"

"Then they said that they must hide me, and so they made me young again!"

"How'd they do that?" Carolyn asked, leaning forward on to the desk, intrigued.

"I have no idea!" he declared "they said that I must return home, but they could not send me there directly."

"Why not?" Cam addressed no one in particular.

"Well…" Sam shrugged "maybe they thought that the Ori could trace him,"

Nick nodded "the planet they left me on was a strange one. All the people were kneeling and praying, there was a man like the one who visited the Giant Aliens and he was walking amongst them, then an As…" he trailed off unable to recall the name "small and naked grey man, well _alien_,"

"Asguard,"

Nick pointed at the source of the correction, making Vala jump at the sudden movement "that's it! He said his name was Thor, and he that he had been contacted and asked to pick me up, then he used his ship to beam down into your 'gate room,"

Daniel shifted in his seat and was absently pulling the cap of his pen off and then putting it back on again as he watched his grandfather recall his journey back to Earth. "Why did they make you younger?"

"To hide the knowledge they gave me, Thor told me it was important and had to be protected, that was why they did it and then sent me here,"

Jack sighed and rolled his eyes and Daniel glanced sideways at him before back at Nick "what knowledge did they give you?"

"I can't tell you,"

"Why?" Daniel demanded; an almost petulant whine to his voice as he frowned at the other man.

"Because they hid it,"

His frown deepened "so you don't know it anymore?" he asked slowly.

"I know it. I just can't tell you,"

"What?" Cam's tone was short and clipped, his impatience showing.

"I know it. I just-"

Sam cut him off "they made you younger, transported you to another planet and hid the knowledge, you still know it but can't tell us?"

"Yes, they hid the knowledge in my head, I can't get to it until the time is right,"

"Was this knowledge concerning the Ori?" Teal'c stated.

"Yes," Nick nodded enthusiastically.

"This is gonna be one of those just-in-the-nick-of-time situations isn't it?" Jack asked dryly.

Daniel gave him a disdainful look at the extremely poor pun, rolling his eyes when Jack just grinned.

"I'd say so," Cam sighed.

"Well it's better than not knowing anything at all," Vala intoned.

"Indeed,"

_Next Chapter: Vala's still unsure of her place in Daniel's life and decides to try and do something about it, her mentors none other than our old friends Bernie and Dolores and does Jack have ulterior motives for returning to Colorado?_


	24. Bernie and Dolores

_Author's Notes: I've been adjusting and adding to my chapter-by-chapter plan and… wow… I hope you guys are in for a ride because this isn't even half way through yet, and I finally have an ending! At 52 chapters! Wow. I had no idea this was gonna go on so long, so for all you guys that are hating every minute and want this to end soon… I'd say now would be a good time to jump of the roller coaster!_

_Information given regarding the Egyptians and Daniel's lecture, was taken from the original draft script for the Stargate movie I found online._

Chapter 24: Bernie and Dolores.

"General O'Neill!" Nick answered the door with the usually edge of delight in his voice and he bright twinkle in his eye "come in, come in,"

"It's Jack," he corrected, stepping inside and nodding politely to Vala as she peered out of the kitchen for a moment and smiled at him.

Nick nodded, hurrying back over to the couch and using the remote to turn of the morning news channel he had been watching before the knock on the door had interrupted him. Jack watched him through the corner of his eye, the _younger _man seemed to be wearing some new clothes, thank God, that fitted him far better than the ones he had been sporting when he wasn't in the BDUs he had been requested to wear on base. Sam really seemed to like buying clothes for new people at the SGC.

He wryly remembered the pleading look Daniel had worn way back after their first trip to Abydos with the blonde captain when she and Janet had insisted that between the old outfit Jack had given him and his robes from Abydos he _really _needed a new wardrobe. And so had dragged him to the nearest mall for nearly four hours. The poor man had come back exhausted and with more bags of shirts, pants and jackets than Jack was sure he had owned in his entire life.

And then there was Cassie who had enjoyed it immensely but even she had tired after the first hour and a half.

Vala… well Vala was more likely to have been the dragg_er_ than the dragg_ee._

He only hoped Nick had been spared the indignity of 'giving her a twirl' every time he had changed into something new. For someone in the military that woman really went all out when the time arose that she could turn into a 'girl'. Briefly he wondered whether or not Carolyn or Vala had gone with them, before deciding rather hastily that his train of thought was far too feminine for his liking.

"Hey Jack," Daniel emerged from the kitchen, seemingly ignoring the 'oops' that had followed the tinkling sound of cutlery on a tiled floor as he picked up the bag with his laptop and books in and swung it over his shoulder before regaining his hold on the crutches.

"Ready to go?" he said, opening the door.

* * *

Vala was bored, she wanted to be on the base, but Carolyn had told her to relax for a while after her last check up, and had so multiple people from Teal'c and Mitchell to Daniel and Nick had told her she was to stay home for a few days. 

Home. This was home, not the base, not some village in a galaxy she knew she did not belong, but here, amidst dust, books, papers, artefacts, statues and delicate looking games that Teal'c had told her of but had never been explained to her.

She got to her feet and picked up the photo album on the corner table, flicking through the wispy thin pages where pictures were tacked and tucked inside protective sheets of plastic she lost herself in thought. Many, many pictures, most of people she knew, Jack and Sam, Teal'c, Daniel with far longer hair she found herself smiling under her breath at.

A young girl that grew more noticeably older than any of the others did as she continued through the album, sometimes the girl was with a rather short, pretty woman, others she was with another member of the team, a dog featured in a few with her. Some of the photos had captions and she soon found that the girl and the woman were Cassie and Janet.

She replaced the album as she got to the end of the pictures, the book far from full. Oddly she felt a sense of disappointment, it had everyone in it, it seemed, except her, even Carolyn and Cam had featured a few times. A family, it was obvious from the smiles on their faces and the laughter that echoed in silent waves from the pages. It was stupid.

The apartment was empty, uncomfortably so, Nick had gone to work with Daniel and Jack and she was left alone. Deciding rather abruptly that this place, and everything in it was just one huge unwanted reminder that she was new here, probably not even meant to have ever set foot in this… haven, she headed to the hall.

* * *

Nick smiled at Sam as he followed Jack and Daniel into her lab as she used the whiteboard to determine the results of the scrawled calculations and equations that her latest project had put out. "You're hair looks nice today Colonel Carter," his smile broadened as she smiled back at him, unsure of the expression on his face she turned her head to Daniel briefly asking for an explanation. 

"Nick," Daniel said tightly "just… don't,"

Nick gave his grandson a perfectly innocent look "what do you mean?"

Daniel raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's manners Daniel, to compliment a beautiful woman when you greet her," he rocked back on his heels as he looked back to Sam "if you don't know _that _I haven't clue what Vala sees in you,"

Jack bit his lip as Daniel looked sorely tempted to bang his head against the walls of the room and would have done had it not have been too much effort. Turning to the Colonel he shared a smile with her at Nick's flirtatious antics and Daniel's blatant discomfort, "so what're you up to then Carter?"

* * *

Walking slowly towards the town centre Vala noticed off-handedly that the coat she had seized on her exit from the apartment was Daniel's denim jacket, she didn't mind, it was comfortable, and it helped her think. 

By law, on this planet, it seemed that anything one partner owned the other owned half of once married but it did not appear that there was a trace of her in anything that was 'shared.' Yes her clothes hung in his closet, and her products lined the shelves of his bathroom cupboard but no other evidence outside those two rooms was visible that more than one man lived there.

Nick was insanely tidy, he didn't really move anything of Daniel's unless it was in the way, let him spread papers and books all over the living room floor and leave them there until days end, but he did clean up after himself.

Whereas she… she almost felt nervous to leave anything out of the place in which Daniel had put it, there were no photographs, no jointly bought ornaments or pieces of furniture, no bedspreads they had fought over in the store; just plain colours. She found herself pulling at a loose string on the cuff of the jacket and stopped as if it were on fire, the sleeves hanging off her hands kept the chilly breeze from nipping at her fingers.

A shriek from several feet in front of her had her looking up and staring at the elderly woman practically running towards her, the man with her, presumably her husband was following at a more leisurely pace.

Eyes wide with surprise she stared at the woman as she came to a screeching halt in front of her 'Akh-Ayak… ma dear ya look wond'ful!"

Vala gave her a strange look, the memory of this woman was vague and dreamlike and for a moment she paused, wondering whether or not to turn and run, she didn't, nodding stiffly as the man came and stood by his wife with a gentle smile on his face instead.

"'M sorry love," he said, his voice far softer than his wife's "Dolly can be a little overwhelmin' a' times,"

"That's okay," she said as the memory became somewhat clearer.

"Ak…" Dolores tried again to pronounce the name but once more fell short of being able to do so.

"Call me Vala," Vala offered in sympathy as she realised what she was trying to do "it's uh… my friends call me that," she supplied as Dolores fixed her with a strange look

"Vala," the woman tried "tha's a pretty name," she complimented "now where's tha' handsom' young boy of yours then honey?" she peered around behind Vala, even though it was blatantly obvious that there was _no _way Daniel could be hiding behind her and not have already been spotted.

"At work…" she said slowly.

Dolores nodded "good man, 'e is, earnin' the money unlike _some-"_ she gave Bernie a look "-people,"

Bernie sighed and rolled his eyes with the air of a man who had heard the same thing many times "I retir'd Dolly, almost ten year' ago now,"

Dolores waved a non-committal hand in his direction "so wha' you up to then lovey? Ya lookin' like a li'l lost lamb you are,"

Vala shrugged "just out for a walk-" she was cut off almost instantly and the forthcoming attitude of this woman surprised her for some reason.

"Al' on ya own?" she inquired, concerned as she glanced down at Vala's stomach "ya pregnant love!" she exclaimed as if she thought Vala hadn't _noticed. _"Congratulations!" she reached forwards automatically to touch and looked a little disgruntled for a moment as Vala shied away.

As Dolores went to touch her stomach she found herself almost flinching and stepping back, pulling the jacket closed she made the movement as discreet as possible with next to no success. Only _Daniel _could do that without permission first, stupid as she knew it sounded in her own head that was the way she felt, grateful when Bernie shared a split-second-look with her before speaking.

"Dolly, dontcha think ya shoulda ask'd before ya be goin' 'bout tryin' to pet the poor lass like some sor'a dog?"

Dolores flushed, glowering at her husband then turned back to Vala "sorry honey," she said gently "ah di'nt mean to upse' ya,"

Vala shook her head in dismissal, the self-hug she found she had wrapped her arms into loosening slightly.

"We're on our way to a mus'um, if ya not up ta an'thin' d'ya wanna come with us?" Bernie offered his voice soft, almost guilty at his wife's overwhelming behaviour.

A museum… hmm… it was something to do and it was quiet, besides, despite the initial impressions the duo gave she liked them. They seemed warm and friendly and at the moment, friends is what she wanted to be around the most "yes," she smiled brightly at them.

* * *

Jack busied himself doodling on the corner of a piece of paper; Nick and Daniel had left not too long since, Daniel heading for his office and Nick for the commissary. 

Sam was examining something under the microscope, every so often she would look up to jot something down on the notepad beside her.

It was definitely still there; he could still feel it all that was left to find out was whether or not it was reciprocated. Years of conditioning meant that the sudden doorway that had been opened which he could step through was causing a violent rush through his body, almost anxious but he'd long since forgotten how to register insignificant things like that when it came to his personal life.

Besides, he didn't deserve her did he? She was young, beautiful, and intelligent, her entire career lay ahead of her, who was he to get in the way of that?

"Sir?" Sam said, frowning a little in concern.

He ran a hand through his hair, making the silver strands spike up, a boyish smile spread across his face "Carter?" – see there were problems like that, although was it really a problem? 'Sam' wasn't hard to say, yeah he could say that he just didn't think it to be appropriate right now; hang on, what's so inappropriate about a _name? _He _was _retired… his trail of thought was abandoned when she smiled at him before returning to her work.

* * *

The museum smelled oddly, an underlying mustiness was flushed out by the air-conditioning system that definitely did _not _make it feel any more 'authentic'. 

"Oh look Bernie!" Dolores exclaimed before being 'shushed' by a couple in front of her "there's tha' Egyptian exhibit tha' Georgie an' Tulula wa' on 'bout las' week,"

Vala followed them into the exhibit, a few people were around but not many, they moved on quickly when Dolores entered, as if they anticipated her easily excitable personality.

"Would ya loo' a' tha'?" Bernie murmurred, standing next to a display case, the artefacts inside everything from shards of pottery to slabs of stone, hieroglyphs carved into it.

"That's not right," Vala whispered as she read the information board just beyond where the elderly duo were admiring the contents of the first display case. Resisting the urge to laugh at the utter naivete of the people on this planet.

"I'm sorry?" a middle aged woman approached her, dressed smartly, her blonde hair pulled back tightly into a pony tail, horn rimmed glasses perching on the end of her nose "I assure you that this is all correct-"

Vala shook her head, "The pyramids weren't built by Pharaohs," she announced abruptly, she knew she couldn't say exactly who had made them but for some reason it really annoyed her.

The woman's eyes narrowed and her arms crossed across her rather small chest that Vala noticed she was trying to flaunt by wearing her blouse undone by the first three buttons, it didn't suit her. "I assume you are _qualified _to make statements like that _ma'am," _the word sounded forced.

"Well _I'm _not," she laughed lightly, trying to ease the tension, it didn't help "but I know…" recalling the papers of Daniel's she had found she forged ahead "the Egyptian culture here shows no evidence that it developed, and through… the studies of… people, every… thing… has to develop. The idea that the culture could just suddenly have an extensive knowledge of how to read and write and-"

The woman made a sound that sounded distinctly like a rather unladylike but poorly disguised snort, "that's the same farfetched theory posed by _Doctor_ Jackson eleven years ago." Her lips pursed, and the way she said his title sounded almost mocking "he was laughed out of the auditorium and hasn't published anything since." the smile on her face indicated she was enjoying this. "The man was insane,"

Vala felt a surge of annoyance in her chest, it must have shown on her face as the woman continued. "You friends with him?"

Her fists clenched for a moment before she relaxed them, the irritability was just another part of the…

"Come alon' love," Bernie fired a particularly distasteful look at the woman as he took Vala's elbow and began to lead her away.

Dolores, although at least a foot shorter than her gave the woman a look that was distinctly intimidating look before following the others from the exhibit.

* * *

"Ahah!" Nick clapped his hands together delightedly as he removed one of Teal'c's chess pieces from the board. 

Teal'c smiled as he pretended to study his next move, a moment later he did so and announced smartly "check,"

Nick frowned and deftly moved another piece, looking up afterwards he called "Daniel!" delightedly as the man entered the commissary accepting the gestures of welcome being thrown his way.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c inclined his head in greeting "you are well I presume?"

"Yeah thanks," he said, having once more perfected the art of sitting down with putting any weight on his injured foot.

"How is Vala Maldoran?" Teal'c said, before turning back to his opponent and announcing "checkmate,"

"She's… well when we left this morning she seemed to be all right, she hasn't called so…"

Nick finished scowling at the chessboard as Teal'c got to his feet "it has been a most enjoyable game Nicholas Ballard," he nodded at Daniel "however I must leave you now as I am to have a sparring session with Colonel Mitchell in approximately fifteen minutes,"

Daniel nodded and Nick waved his hand as he went back to trying to figure out exactly how he had been beaten as the jaffa departed without another word.

"Hey Doc!" Ferretti exclaimed, waving from the next table down "how's the wife? She's starting to look pretty big now huh?"

"She's fine thank you," he managed a small smile in his direction and Ferretti nodded, going to speak before his attention was demanded by someone else sat with him.

"Daniel," Nick said solemnly, as he started to pack the chess game away.

Daniel went to help "yeah?"

"I think it would be best if I were to move back to Stargate Command."

"What? Why?" he had hated them moving in before, dreading the inevitable arguments that although they had seemed to begin had never continued.

"Because I think you and Vala need the space," he spoke slowly as if there were more meaning to the words than was obvious, "I don't think my being there is at all conducive to the two of you being able to function as a normal couple," his eyes twinkled.

Daniel almost flinched at the connotations to that sentence and banished any thought from his mind that his grandfather wished to try and discuss his sex life.

Seeing his discomfort Nick waited a moment "you have a baby on the way soon Daniel, and I should think you would want to raise it as normal family, rather than have me hanging around. I'll be fine here,"

Suddenly wanting the conversation to end as soon as possible "if you sure,"

Nick nodded once "I am sure Daniel."

* * *

"Ya al' righ' now love?" Bernie said, as he handed Vala bottle of water that Dolores had given him from her purse, now sat on a bench outside the museum "she seem'd to getcha right riled up," 

Vala ignored him, sipping at the water and getting more and more irritated by the fact the remnants of her fury refused to go away.

"Vala?" Dolores said, sitting next to her, her cream bag in her lap "ya know Doc Jackson dontcha?"

Vala smiled at the innocent question "married to him," she handed the bottle back to Dolores who put up a hand, saying she could keep it.

"Tha' wom'n had not righ' to say anythin'," Bernie said gruffly.

"Ya righ' she di'n't!" Dolores jumped to her feet, livid "'m half tem'ed ta go back in there an' give the obnoxious ba' a piece o' ma mind. Ya husban' seem'd like a very nice man, an' I don't care wha' she thinks 'bout theories. That' all they are! Theories! People ain't allow'd theory no more? I though' we lived in a democra'y!"

"Calm down Dolly," Bernie soothed.

"Well Bernie! People like tha'? They ge' righ' on ma nerves they do, thinkin' they own the goddamn place-"

"Dolly," he said a little firmer, the to Vala "anythin' I can getcha love?"

Vala paused, "how long have you been together?"

If they thought the question was odd they did not show it "met when I was seven'een," Dolores replied proudly, "I marry 'im when I turn' twen'y, an' we been marrie' for nigh on fif'y-nine ye'rs."

Fifty-nine years… that… that was a long time.

"Somethin' wrong honey?"

Vala hesitated, this… should she… they were friends, she could, and so she began to explain.

_Author's Notes: I finally got my non-internet-enabled computer to register my MP3 as a mass-storage device rather than non existent! Yay!  Sounds like an easy feat? Not when the computer is wrecked lol!_

_Next Chapter: Vala puts Bernie and Dolores' advice into action._


	25. Be My Lady

_Author's Notes: I don't know how many of you are reading any of my other fictions but for some reason I am getting WAY to many ideas, and so I'm working on what I can, resulting in many, many half finished chapters saved on my computer. _

_I haven't abandoned any of them. Stargate is proving to be a lot easier than the other fandoms I write in at the moment (i.e. Bones) and this seems to be the predominant one, along with I think 'Glimpses of Forever' and my Atlantis fik 'Cheap Liquor' despite the fact neither of them has been updated beyond the first chapter :P _

_I am working on it! And even though I'm on half-term at the moment so I have a week off I seem to be busy even whilst I'm not doing anything… Although I must say a lot of that time is spent cursing either the computer which keeps crashing or my brothers who keep going out and not telling me where they're going. Even though I'm the one held responsible for where they are and when they get back when my parents are at work. (rolls eyes)_

Chapter 25: Be My Lady

Carolyn smiled at the young lieutenant propped up in the infirmary bed, his impromptu fall down the cliff side had been nothing compared to what could have happened. However it didn't stop the poor young man from panicking with it being his first trip off world since his joining the program less than a month ago.

"Ma'am?" he pressed lightly.

"You'll be fine lieutenant," she assured him "I can discharge you tomorrow morning, I just need to keep you in for observation. You had quite a fall,"

"Yes ma'am," he nodded politely, resenting his bedridden state yet not beyond being mildly embarrassed for his team having to cut the entire mission short because he'd managed to loose his footing.

Carolyn squeezed his hand gently and was just heading to her office when Sam caught her. "Colonel Carter," she greeted warmly "everything okay?"

"Yes," she said, smiling.

Carolyn opened the door to her office and stepped inside, Sam followed after a moment "and General O'Neill?" a hint of teasing in her voice indicated her insight into the situation, whether it existed or not.

"He's gone to see Daniel. I think he was getting bored in my lab,"

Carolyn took her seat at her desk and gestured for Sam to take the other chair, which she did without hesitation "so what d'ya need?"

Sam paused, turning her head slightly "when's Vala's due date?"

Carolyn gave her an odd look "uh… about two months from now… why?"

Sam looked at her, she and Carolyn were the only ones likely to do it and it would be something nice they could give them especially after… everything "I was thinking…"

* * *

"Thank you," Vala said sincerely as she got out of the car outside Daniel's apartment.

"It ain't no bother love," Bernie opened the trunk and pulled out some of the shopping bags "no bother a' all,"

Vala smiled and went to pick up the last two bags but Dolores smacked her hands aside "ya shouldn' pick up stuff so 'eavy honey, could do ya self some real 'arm ya could." She picked them up herself "you just lead us on up to where ya want 'em and then we'll be on our way,"

Nodding Vala lead the way up to the apartment and the helpful couple deposited the bags on the counter.

"No, if'n ya be needin' anythin' honey, anythin' a' all jus' give us a call," Dolores hugged her tightly, handing her a piece of paper with a number written on to it once she had released her.

Bernie hugged her too, gently though, putting his hands on her shoulders he looked her in the eye "you bein' a special lass girly,"

"Ah 'ope everythin' turns out okay!" Dolores said as she retreated, Bernie following her.

"Give us a buzz when tha' young'un ah yers shows up wontcha love?" He backed out the door and smiled at her.

Vala could do nothing but nod and smile at them. Once they had gone she looked down briefly at her stomach, running an absent hand over the growing bump she was once more grateful for their help.

Now, where to begin…

* * *

"Nick's moving out,"

"Oh?" Jack picked up the bowl from the desk, examining it "this is broken," he stated, pointing at a crack along the base.

Daniel raised an eyebrow, taking it from him.

"Grandpa getting to you Danny?"

"No," he replied shortly, having Jack in his office was almost like having a band of three year olds hanging around, although he wasn't sure which was worse, considering now Jack was retired he could wander about freely and no actual work to do. "Why are you here?"

Jack shrugged "what time is it?" he nodded his head towards Daniel's computer screen.

"Uh… nearly five,"

"Ready then?" he brightened some what at the prospect of being able to do something.

"Jack, there really is no reason for you to be in here. You-"

Jack just looked at him, and for once, the younger man took the hint. He really didn't want to talk about it, about her; it sounded stalker-ish even in his own head. 'I'm watching Sam' 'I'm keeping an eye on Carter' even 'I was helping Carter in the lab' – that one was bad.

No matter what way he put it, his reason for not being at home, or at his cabin, was for no other reason than his perverse imagination and overly excited ego at the possibility that maybe, after all these years, she might just feel the same.

"I have some work still-" off Jack's more intense glare "fine, fine, I'll just… Jack?"

"Is Carter seeing anyone?"

Ah… so _that _was it "she hasn't mentioned anybody to me..."

Jack looked thoughtful – hang on _thoughtful, _Jack didn't do thoughtful… did he? At least not to that intensity… or on normal subjects… or… big hole here, stop digging.

* * *

Vala frowned and blew at the strand of hair that had fallen into her face from the rough ponytail she had tied it into at the top of her head. The hoover had proved to be rather obstinate in its refusal to go back into the cupboard but at last she had defeated it.

The kitchen was a mess, flour coated almost every surface and most of her – whatever it was that had bid her to wear black today was obviously not anticipating her cooking. Various herbs and spices were scattered everywhere along with a bit of everything else that had gone into the meal that was cooking treacherously slowly.

The washing machine had managed to soak her feet when she had attempted to mop up the flood that had taken nearly half an hour to stop.

Taking a breath, insistent that it was all worth it, she moved on.

* * *

"Sounds like a great idea," Carolyn agreed "when were you thinking?"

Sam leaned forwards in her chair "In about a month? We don't want it too early and we have to plan everything for it."

Carolyn nodded "that's about right… late April… early May? That gives us just over four weeks, but where… my house is open for it… Dad might let us use the commissary-"

"My place is big enough," Sam shrugged "and that way they won't guess to easily,"

* * *

Showered and changed into one of the many outfits that Dolores had insisted she have and Bernie had bought for her. The skirt was long and surprisingly comfortable although she found it made her feel rather clumsy and the top was thin. She wasn't dressed up, the outfit casual and yet still she was uncertain of herself in it. The cooking, having prevented her from getting cold.

"-The very _idea _is _insane _Jack!" Daniel argued as they entered the apartment, he froze.

Everything was tidy, nothing out of place, hoover-ed, dusted, cleaned, couch cushions fluffed and replaced, books piled either neatly on the coffee table or back on the book shelf. Anything that had, had no order that morning had one now.

"Something smells good!" Jack's smile spread right across is face as he inhaled the delicious aroma floating through from the kitchen.

Vala jumped, cursing herself for being so on edge as she put the plate of bread rolls in the middle of the table, having only just begun to set it she was partially grateful that Jack was there too "hey," she said, trying to sound as natural as possible.

Was this really a stupid idea? Should she have bothered? But then again they _had _said… this was right, of course it was right, she had to do this…

"Hey," Daniel breathed, taking in the sight of the tidy apartment, the lights although not fully dimmed were not up to their full capacity, and she was… she looked…

"General O'Neill!"

"Jack," he corrected her warmly.

"Are you staying?" that's what Dolores had said wasn't it? Invite his friends to dinner, it was polite, and expected of her. If she did then he would be happy with her…

"Uh…" he glanced from Daniel to her "there's a game on tonight-"

"You can watch it here," she offered, stay, he had to stay because then… then everything would be going right and then maybe, Daniel might… dammit this was harder than she had expected, but she could do it, she had too.

"I… I guess so,"

"Great!" she said, clapping her hands together and heading back to the kitchen.

Daniel stared at Jack who was giving him an odd look, what on earth had happened today? Where… that wasn't Vala was it? She'd been fine this morning, happy, so what was going on?

* * *

Pulling three plates from the cupboard along with the right cutlery from the drawer she checked the sauce in the pan. She was missing something, what had she missed? Hoover, check, dust, check, tidy, check, dinner, check, laundry, check… that was it!

She went calmly back into the living room, walked straight up to Daniel and kissed him. Before drawing herself up to the tips of her toes and wrapping her arms round his neck "missed you," she whispered in his ear before pulling back and going straight back to the kitchen leaving Daniel staring after her, open mouthed as Jack gave him a teasing smirk.

* * *

Dinner was an interesting affair, consisting of Jack and Vala talking animatedly, discussing everything from the one hockey match she had watched last week down to the finer details of 'The Wizard of Oz' arguing insistently over which characters were their favourites and why.

Daniel watched the exchange through guarded eyes. Something wasn't right. Over the past few days Vala had become, or at least he thought she had, more comfortable with him, there relationship was taking slow steps towards becoming something that was more complex, and harder to work for than most wanted to believe.

Her hair shone in the light, the smooth curls falling over her shoulders as she moved her hands when she spoke, more than one he found himself resisting the urge to reach out and touch them.

Seven months ago life had been… different, simple colleagues, and somewhat, unconventional friends, then it had changed and for a long time he had been certain it had been for the worse. It was hard to pinpoint an exact moment where the word 'eureka!' had flown in to his head and then everything had fallen into place. He wasn't sure such a moment existed.

Of course there were times, brief moments where he would wonder whether any of this was real or just forced because it hadn't been planned nor wanted at first. But then there were the other ones, the ones like these, where all he could do was watch her and wonder the life-long question of; why?

There was no particular continuation of that word, because there was nothing in particular he wanted to know exactly, but when it was question in it's own right… it sprung to his mind in many aspects of his life, but was most predominant and accepted in this one.

* * *

The hum of the hockey game in the background was a pleasant undertone in the comfortable silence that reigned.

Vala glanced up, Daniel was sat at the table, typing away on his keyboard on some report for the next SG team to go off world in the morning and Jack was reclined in one of the armchairs, feet up and beer in hand as he watched the game. As relaxed as he looked, every time the team he was supporting came close to scoring he would lean forwards and should they actual achieve it he would cheer.

She looked back at the items in her hand. Knitting. It was _supposed _to be simple, that's what Dolores had said, she'd even 'cast her off' and yet now… now it was hard.

Up, round, down and off… she scowled in frustration as she tugged off two stitches at once and came precariously close to pulling off another. Glancing up again at Daniel who hadn't even looked away from his laptop, she picked up the dropped stitch with too much difficulty and went to try again. Almost dropping the needles at the awful screech that came when a she pulled a stitch too tight and it raked across the metal needle.

She'd done everything she could but it was so _hard. _How was she supposed to do any of this if it was so difficult? Dolores didn't find it difficult and… and… she threw the ball of wool in frustration. Looking up wide eyed as it landed on Daniel's keyboard and he looked from it to her, raising his eyebrow "Vala?" he said slowly.

"Sorry," she murmurred, getting to her feet to retrieve it, his hand caught her wrist once she had done so and refused to let go.

"What're you doing?" he asked, looking from the knitting needles and wool to her.

She shook her head and tried to pull away again, it wouldn't work if she _told _him. And it obviously wasn't working _already _because she was too stupid to be able to master the simple art of being the perfect wife.

"Vala," he tried again.

"I can't knit," she admitted "I can't knit and I hate the stupid machine that washes clothes, cooking is _hard_ and tidying up-"

Neither one of them notice the game finish and Jack leave.

"Woah, woah, what?"

Tears burned her eyes and try as she might she couldn't stop them from falling "it's too hard!" she threw the wool and needles on to the floor petulantly "I _tried _but it's too _hard!"_

Pushing the laptop away with one hand, he hesitated a moment before pulling her to sit on his lap, something she had, had no qualms about doing before off her own accord, but it was different now he was the one making her do it "what's to hard?"

Despite the fact the heating was on she shivered and leant against him, resting her head on his shoulder "knitting."

He had to resist the urge to laugh "if it's hard why were you trying to do it?"

"Because that's what I'm supposed to do," she traced a pattern on his chest stopping only when he took hold of it gently.

"Supposed… Vala you're not _supposed _to knit. It's just… something some people do as a hobby,"

But… Dolores… Bernie… they _said._

"Start at the beginning," he found himself wanting to kiss the top of her head and mentally kicking himself for pausing to wonder whether or not he wanted to he did so. "Who said you had to knit?"

She was silent, lightly twisting her captive wrist, not really tugging away just reminding herself of her tangible connection to him.

He nudged her head with his nose "hey?"

"I was… I went for a walk and Bernie and Dolores-"

"Who're they?"

"They were at the wedding," she stated, and he nodded, remembering the lively couple vaguely "they took me to a museum – which was wrong by the way."

He decided not to press that matter,

"Then I asked them some things." This whole pregnancy thing was doing her head in; the raw emotions, the mood swings and the apparent overwhelming needs for comfort were unnerving.

"Like?"

She was silent again, and it slowly started to slide into place. "Vala." He began "dinner was great, and everything else… thank you," he said sincerely "but you don't _have _to do any of those things, I _can _cook, _and_ do laundry, _and_ tidy up."

She nodded "I know,"

"So what's wrong?"

She waited a second "I'm not here,"

He frowned "you feel pretty 'here' to me,"

"No," she straightened as much as she could without falling off her perch "I'm not _here_."

His frown deepened "I don't get it,"

She sighed, got to her feet, and stood in the middle of the living room "I'm not _here _Daniel." She gestured around her.

"Oh," he struggled to his feet "Vala you've been here less than a week-"

She snatched up the photo album she'd been looking at earlier "no! Here!" she opened it and flicked through the pages "see? Jack, Sam, Teal'c, Cameron, Doctor Lam… people I've never even met are in here Daniel but…" she was stupid, this was stupid, all over a ridiculous photo album.

"You want your picture taken?"

She gave him a judging look and when she did not respond he reached onto one of the shelves, pulled down the digital camera and cable. Snapping a shot before she could protest he went back to his laptop, took it into the study and hooked it up to the printer as he waited for the camera to load the photograph onto the computer.

"Daniel…" she protested, even as he was making it so light-hearted it was almost embarrassing "just forget it…"

He ignored her until the photo had printed, cutting it out he took the album from Vala's hands, flicked to a space after the last one in there and slid the picture into the pocket "there." He handed it to her, the simplicity of the situation made the expression on her face all the more surprising as she put the album down and hugged him.

"I don't… I don't know why I did that," she shook her head, using the back of her hand to wipe away the stray tears.

"It doesn't matter," he smiled, then more insistently "at all,"

_Author's Notes: I really don't know what happened there at ALL. It just kinda appeared so… well… uh… sorry?_

_Next Chapter: As Daniel and Vala fight over baby names, the entire mountain grinds to a shrieking halt when it's personnel start trying to help._


	26. 3AM

_Author's Notes: This chapter was a special request from Jess and considering the amount she has put up with and the ideas she has helped me to develop I could hardly refuse her it. I have added my own little twists and touches to it but I'm the author I can do that! It's a little fluffy, but as there has already been a lot of angst and considering the events yet to unfold (don't worry they don't happen for some time yet) there is gonna be a lot more I think it's only right._

_Warning: Obviously there have already been spoilers throughout the fiction, in this chapter there are slight spoilers for 'Arthur's Mantle.' And I guess if you were being pedantic you could say 'Line in the Sand' and 'A Road Not Taken' as well but only because of what Sam's trying to do with device, there is nothing taken directly from the story lines. Obviously I altered them for the fiction. For now I think that's it but there will be more for season ten in future chapters, I will let you know as and when. :) And if any of you haven't seen the episodes and want to they are available on YouTube, as many of you already know._

Chapter 26: 3AM 

Daniel sighed, his head beginning to ache, this had been going on for… oh look, another _hour and a half _had passed, funny how it felt like forever. A… well as uneventful as it was possible for his life to be with Vala such a major feature it… month had passed since her probably well reasoned insecurities had come to his notice. The cast on his ankle had been removed nearly a fortnight ago and the fact he had full mobility back again was probably what made his current predicament more bearable.

"D'argo!" she exclaimed delightedly "what?" she frowned when he stared at her.

"It's a little… weird don't you think?"

She glared at him "that was my brother's name," she defended childishly.

"You don't have a brother!" he replied in earnest, staring at her.

She huffed, "well if I _did _then that would be his name,"

"How… never mind," he shook his head, reaching for his mug; feeling extremely defeated when he found it was empty.

She looked back at the book a Russian Major had given her not two days ago with a bid of 'congratulations' when Vala had given the young woman a strange look at the kindness. Ahah… "How about Douglas?"

His jaw dropped "huh?" he stared at her wide-eyed.

She sighed; looking rather put out "then why don't you suggest something?"

He took the book from her, flicking through it for several moments "what about… Claudia?"

"Frumpy," she stated, plucking a chocolate bar from Daniel's desk and opening it.

"Amanda, that's a nice name."

"Dull," she said shortly, not giving any time for consideration.

Was she doing that on purpose?

"Michael," Vala pulled the book back to her when he failed to find another.

Daniel shrugged.

"I don't like it either… hmm…"

"How's it going?" Cam asked as he entered Daniel's office, look of amused curiosity on his face.

Daniel just looked at him, then went back to glare at Vala for a second, running a hand over his face. A pseudo smile on his face when he reappeared "fine," he replied tersely.

"Ya know," he crossed his arms casually "you might find it easier if you let Doctor Lam tell you what it was,"

"Tell her that," Daniel sighed, leaning back in his chair as Vala perused the book of names with a stern look of concentration on her face.

She looked up at the pause "I like surprises," she announced brightly.

"I know," Daniel breathed defeatedly "let me look," he held out his hand impatiently.

She slapped his hands away "no," she snapped "it's mine,"

Cam smirked, "so what have you come up with so far?"

"Nothing,"

"Nothing?" he echoed.

"She doesn't like _anything,_" he realised after he'd said it how immature his tone had been.

"They're boring names," she defended.

"At least their normal," he hissed, eyes narrowing.

"Claudia?" she teased.

"That's nice-" Cam put his hands up in a surrender motion when Vala cut him off with a vicious look.

"It's better than D'argo!"

Cam bit the inside of his mouth to not laugh, whether it was at the name or at the stupidity of the situation he did not know. Obviously the task was not as simple as he would have thought it would be, hadn't they thought at any point during their lives 'if I have a kid I'd like to name it…'? He knew he certainly had.

"Any suggestions?" Daniel fired at him as the bickering between himself and his wife ceased for a second.

"Uh…" naming your own if-I-ever-had-them kids was easy, naming someone else's was far harder "Elizabeth is nice…"

"Yeah," Vala rolled her eyes "okay," the sarcasm in her voice did not go amiss.

Rather put-out Cam shrugged "I'll see if I can come up with anything else,"

* * *

General Landry knew first hand how hard baby naming could be, he and his wife had, had a considerable amount of discussions when it came to naming Carolyn. He distinctly remembered having spent more than one night on the couch when he impromptu mood swings had let to her becoming somewhat offended by a few of the suggestions he had made.

The mission had begun less than two days ago and it seemed that the entire complex was discussing it at every opportunity they had. The hand picked personnel who stood on Earth's first line of defence against an enemy most of the planet's occupants were blissfully unaware of, were planning the name of a single baby and it was turning into one of the biggest missions they had ever faced.

He sighed and looked back at the stack of mission reports on his desk, relieved that had not been dragged into the fracas just yet.

* * *

"You come up with anything for Doctor Jackson and Vala's baby?" one member of commissary staff asked another as he served an airmen absently.

The other opened his mouth to speak but stopped when he saw Daniel walk in, looking rather irate as Vala followed him, a book in her hands as she looked down to it then up at him, talking animatedly.

"… Steve?" she tried as he slid into a seat in front of Sam who had just finished her meal and was moving on to her Jell-O. "That was the name of my prison guard back when-"

"Vala?" he began "I don't want to know,"

She huffed indignantly, looked back at the book and then smiled brightly "Meredith?"

"As in _Mckay_?!" Sam and Daniel spoke in unison, astonished looks of half-horror on their faces.

"Oh…" she looked back at the book "that's a no then…"

Sam gave her a guilty nod, as Daniel said "definitely no,"

Vala ignored them both "you're not very helpful Daniel," she accused, and before he could reply she continued "I'm going to see if anyone else will help," with that she 'flounced' away.

Unable to resist the urge to tease Sam spoke; "you know Sam's a unisex name right?" off his expression. "Only joking, I take it, it's not going well?"

Daniel's only response was to bury his head in his folded arms that rested on the table, giving him a sympathetic look she patted his head gently before returning to her food.

* * *

Vala scanned the room for a good target, as an ex-thief that was a talent she had long since discovered and perfected to an art form. Zeroing in she smiled cheerily as she approached.

"I need help," she announced, the table of technicians stared at her wide-eyed. "Daniel is being _useless_. And I need ideas."

"On names?" Walter was the most daring person on the table.

"Yes!"

"Uh… Peter?" a woman she presumed was 'Sandy' piped up.

She pretended to consider it "sorta… boring… Siler!" she caught the man as he walked past "any ideas?"

"Baby naming," Walter informed him happily.

"… There's always my brother's name," the Sergeant suggested.

"Which is?" Vala prompted.

"Tank,"

Vala gave him a tight smile "I take it your mother was a fan of… _unique _names,"

Siler knew enough of the young woman to know that she meant no offence by it and shrugged "baby naming isn't my strong suit,"

She nodded and a real smile flashed into existence briefly before turning back to the table of technicians.

"What about Harriet?" Walter suggested hesitantly, the popular young woman made him nervous, however much he liked her.

She grinned and stood up "I like it!" she declared, leaning over she kissed the top of his head in thanks before bouncing away, humming a tune no one recognised under her breath, leaving the Sergeant blushing furiously to finish his lunch.

* * *

Teal'c's quarters were dimly lit by flickering candle light, sat cross legged in the middle of the room he opened his eyes when he heard a knock on the door. "Come in,"

Vala peeked around the door and smiled at him, he returned the expression.

"How can I be of service?" he said, getting to his feet and pulling out a chair, she took the hint and sat down in it as he sat on the end of the bed.

"Baby names," she sighed "Daniel and I are having trouble picking any,"

Teal'c nodded fixing her with a fond look, "when choosing a name for our son, my wife Drey'auc and I attempted to pick one of great meaning," he began. "I believe many parents do so."

"Daniel's name means 'God is my judge'," she said softly.

"Indeed. And what does your name mean?"

"Chosen one," she replied wryly.

"Both equally fitting."

There was a pause before she broke it "so any ideas?"

"Rai'Shar," he gave her a pointed look "is a most honourable name,"

She froze, staring at him, his dark eyes were filled with various emotions, the most tangible one sorrow, along with a distinct idea that he felt extreme honour for the namesake. Startled by the conversation, or lack of, that would ensue should she suggest it to Daniel, because if she got it then he most certainly would. "I'll… we'll think about it big guy,"

* * *

"Bob," Jack said firmly as he entered Daniel's office.

Daniel glowered at him "funny,"

"What?" Jack said indignantly "it's a cool name, no one ever uses it any more,"

"I am not naming my child 'Bob' just because you think it's 'cool',"

Jack shook his head dramatically "some people just don't appreciate me anymore," he sighed.

Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Daniel!" Vala cried pointing at his computer screen delightedly, "Daniel I've found the _perfect _name!"

Daniel looked up "oh?"

"Ebay!"

"What?" he exclaimed, "no!"

"Why? Teal'c said names that meant something!"

"Ebay isn't a name! It's a web site!" he gave Jack a warning look as the older man seemed to be very tempted to say something.

"It means something though!"

"To who?"

"Me,"

"You mean my credit card company!"

She flashed him a hurt pout.

"Vala… don't,"

"Afraid you might not be able to resist her?" Jack teased, this was highly amusing, why hadn't he invited her to stick around back when he'd been General? Sent a message up to the Prometheus and told her she could come and stay on Earth? Live entertainment would have definitely made those briefings ten times more interesting.

"Jack?" _if you're not going to help-_

"Daniel," _oh, but I am helping…_

"Jack!" G_et out!_

Jack turned to Vala "see? Unappreciated," shaking his head he absently raised a hand in an effort to dismiss himself and left.

"Ahh!" she jumped and Daniel whirled round again.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned, moving over to the other side of the desk so as to see what had started her, "well there's a good name; Jessica,"

"That… thing, is scary. No Jessica,"

"It's just a doll,"

"Scary," she reiterated.

"Fine," he sighed, "no Jessica,"

She closed the web site with a shudder, those beady little eyes… she shivered again before looking up at Daniel who straightened as the site was closed. "Christopher," she said suddenly.

He paused "hmm… suppose we could put it on the list,"

"Great! That's two!"

"Two?" He said uncertain he wanted to know the other.

"Harriet was what Walter – you know from the control room? – Said."

Daniel nodded.

"We need more than that though,"

"... Angel?"

"What? Are we church goers now?" she snorted derisively, once more ignoring the despairingly look on her husband's face.

* * *

Sam sighed, she had been perfectly calm before the call but as always the arrogant astrophysicist on the other end had her nerves grating.

"… So many problems with what you're suggesting Colonel that I can't even begin to…"

She ignored him for a moment as Daniel walked into the room "hey,"

"She suggested Ebay," he sighed, sitting down, not sparing a look for the video up on screen.

"That's nice Doctor Jackson but we have slightly more pressing matters at hand here," Mckay gave him a terse look before drawing his attention back to Sam.

"Oh?" Daniel looked in the same direction.

"You remember Merlin's device that we found last year?"

Daniel nodded "uh huh,"

"Well I'm trying to expand the field it generates so as to shield a wider area,"

"The planet?"

"That's the eventual goal yes, only we have the slight problem of-" Mckay chipped in.

"Why is he helping?"

Sam sighed; "General Landry said he might be able to provide some speculation, so far…" she shrugged, then to Mckay "it's not like we have a choice,"

"Hey!" Sheppard appeared on screen behind Mckay, "Colonel Carter,"

"Colonel Sheppard," she breathed a sigh of relief that the call would somewhat more bearable now someone less self-absorbed was on the other end of the transmission.

"Doctor Jackson," Sheppard greeted Daniel also who raised a hand in greeting.

"Daniel! There you are! I have another name!"

Daniel shrank back in his seat as Vala approached them, and Sam gave him a pitying look.

"What's wrong?" Sheppard asked, a concerned frown on his face.

"We're baby naming Colonel," Vala announced, smiling brightly at him and waving.

"Neat! Any ideas yet?"

"Not really," she answered "hey Daniel, how about Zep… Zephr… this one!" she pointed at the book and held it out.

He didn't even look up "if you can't say it Vala then it's probably not a very good idea to name the baby it is it?"

"Baby?" Sheppard asked, then Vala came into clearer view and waved at him "oh! Congratulations then," he grinned boyishly at them, Vala returned it and Daniel just rolled his eyes at Vala's blatant excitement.

Mckay gave them all a rather irritated look "yes, yes, she's pregnant now can we just-." Once more he was cut off and Sam had a sneaking suspicion that if they kept at it he was going to loose his rather short temper very soon, however in the meantime it was sickly amusing to watch him try and maintain a 'calm' air.

"So names huh? What've you got so far?" Sheppard sat down and put his feet up on the desk, his boots just visible through the video feed.

"Harriet and Christopher," Vala declared happily.

Off Sheppard's look Sam explained "they don't know if it's a girl or a boy yet,"

He nodded.

"Any suggestions?" Vala asked, perching on the edge of Daniel's lap, handing him the book of names over her shoulder and resting the notepad and pen she had on her knees.

"What is going on here?" another person came into view, the pretty Athosian woman smiling at the trio on the other end of the feed.

"We're baby naming," Sheppard turned his head and grinned at her for a moment before looking back at the screen.

"Congratulations," Teyla inclined her head politely, if she was confused by the fact the video call that was supposed to be over a matter of great urgency was over something so trivial in perspective she didn't show it.

"You're welcome to help!" Vala nodded encouragingly, ignoring Mckay who looked about ready to terminate the call until a later date.

"John's a good name," Sheppard playfully suggested.

"That's _your _name," Mckay accused bluntly.

Sheppard just rolled his eyes at him, fixing him with a look that basically said 'well done genius' before turning slightly more serious "uh… I dated a girl in high-school called Melissa, that one's nice,"

Vala looked at Daniel, her pen poised over the notebook; Daniel nodded absently as he closed the book and put it on the empty chair next to him. She wrote it down.

"Kaylee," Teyla said gently.

Vala wrote that down as well.

"Paul… Caleb… Liam… Scott… Michelle… uh…" Sheppard listed a few, pausing every once in a while when one elicited a response "Amy… Jay… David… Victoria…"

"Halle…" Teyla offered.

As Sheppard seemed to run out of names and Teyla didn't say anything else Vala looked pointedly at Mckay, fixing him with an expectant look.

"What?" he demanded.

Sheppard nudged him "c'mon Rodney, you gotta have something,"

Mckay sighed tensely "I don't know," he snapped "Jason… Joe… Rachel… Jeannie…" his sister's name out before he actually thought about he looked up when he caught Vala grinning at him, "what?"

"I like Rachel," she said, glancing at Daniel briefly as he nodded clearly saving any argument he had to any of the suggestions for another time, another day, she jotted that one down as well.

"General O'Neill," Sheppard said when Jack walked into the room.

Jack nodded at him "what's going on?"

"They're helping us," Vala explained looking back towards him and gesturing at the screen with her pen, before turning rapt attention back to their 'guests' again.

* * *

For some reason Vala's mood was not brilliant when they returned home that evening, in fact she was short tempered and getting more and more irate with every minute that passed. Over half the names that had been suggested by Mckay, Sheppard, and Teyla had been scribbled out so violently holes had appeared in the paper.

"That one's stupid too…" she muttered as Daniel headed straight for the kitchen, "_and _that one…"

Daniel breathed a heavy sigh, this… this was expected he supposed, mood swings although not always premeditated not unusual. What was it with him and hot-tempered women? Sha're had certainly had a temper on her, Sarah had not been one to sit back and take what came at her and Vala…

"Daniel!"

Daniel emerged from the kitchen, they had been back for several hours already and it had been interspersed with cries much similar to that one, leading either to her screaming at him for being so obstinate or crying because 'it wasn't working'. "Yes?" his patience was waning but he was determined not to loose it just yet.

"Haven't you got _any _more ideas?"

"Every time I suggest something Vala, you shoot it down in flames," his worse harsh but his tone joking, she obviously didn't get it though because she glared at him from her position on the couch.

"That's because they're all stupid. I don't see why D'argo is such a bad idea,"

"It's not very normal," he would stand his ground on this one, her insistence over it meant that unlike some of the others he had given in to just to sate her she wouldn't just scribble it out later.

"But I _like _it,"

"There's plenty I've liked that you don't, its called compromise," he coaxed.

She knew he was right, but this was just so frustrating, Adria had been… simple. It was just… well there had been no discussion of baby names, there'd been no ultrasounds, check ups, options to take, decisions to make and even if there had been Tomin would have decided most of it. The way in that galaxy seemed to be primitive to Earth in that sense, still wrapped in the belief that men ruled the houses, and religion ruled the men.

Of course it wasn't a completely domineering way of life, nor barbaric except when Priors came along but here… here half the things women on Earth were able to do were still taboo. Not just in the Ori galaxy but in many places, in others they were as equal if not 'more so' although that was technically impossible. Why was she thinking about stuff like that anyway?

However despite what she _knew_, what she _felt _was annoyance and irritability, as if it were _his _fault that it was so hard, and she was so indecisive and… and well everything else. Like the way her back hurt and head swam when she stood up to soon, the way standing up was becoming more of a task than it ever should have been.

The way she would wake up in the middle of the night craving the oddest things; ice cream on it's own was wonderful and yet with things such as pickle or vegemite with chocolate sauce? It made her stomach turn in retrospect; vegemite at the best of times wasn't very appealing anyway.

"But I _really _like it,"

"No Vala,"

"Fine," her voice cracked "I'm sleeping out here,"

Daniel opened his mouth to speak waving a lazy hand in dismissal, if she wanted to sleep on the couch that was just fine with him. Some battles are just not meant to be fought.

* * *

The stream of light from the hall that fell across his bed was not welcomed; instinctively he curled in on himself and hid his eyes from the assault but when it did not go away he found himself too curious to stay shielded. Barely awake he slowly straightened and forced his eyes open, blinking twice through narrowed eyes he made out a figure in the doorway.

"Wh'sat?" he mumbled, it was supposed to have been 'who is it' but the sleep still clouding his brain refused to co-operate.

"Daniel?"

Okay, it was Vala, now if she would just go away…

"Daniel," she said more insistently and he blinked again, determined to stay awake long enough to find out why she had woken him in the middle of the night, given her mood earlier on.

"What?" he slurred.

She stepped from foot to foot, arms wrapped round herself in a rather insecure gesture, he sat up immediately when she didn't answer "Vala? What's wrong?" voice filled with concern and far more alert, not just-had-a-caffeine-kick alert but enough to actually have some semblance of control of his reactions.

"I had a nightmare,"

He relaxed somewhat, that was okay, no premature labour, no 'I accidentally set fire to the kitchen' or 'I just sold most of your belongings on ebay'. "Oh…" he responded when she stayed stood there, pulling a face as his eyes darted back to the hall, she kicked the door so it closed softly. "Uh…"

"Can I have a hug?" she had no idea where the need for touch came from but everything just seemed stupid now, ridiculous little jibes, and petulant 'foot-stamping' over things that didn't even really matter.

She sounded so desperate and lost, had he been capable of fully cognitive thought he would have known that any nightmare she had, had would not have shaken her that badly, but he wasn't.

Running a hand through his hair roughly in an attempt to rouse himself even further he straightened the comforter "um… sure… yeah,"

Her bare feet padded softly on the carpet and she crawled into bed, snuggling up close to him and wrapping an arm possessively across his chest she squeezed slightly and he lay back down again, he hugged her back "okay?"

She shifted and gave a tiny sigh of content as she pushed him over slightly so as to lie more on the already warm part of the bed "thank you Daniel." She murmurred, she lifted her head and kissed his cheek before settling back on his shoulder, drinking in the smell of him.

He flinched as he moved his leg and came into contact with what felt like ice blocks "you're feet are freezing!" he accused, pulling away enough for her to scowl at him.

"I've been stood in the hall for twenty minutes," she replied "the whole of me is freezing,"

"Why were you…"

She lay back down "I didn't know whether or not you'd let me in,"

"Oh," he replied softly, they lay in silence for several minutes, the clock ticked but it was not irritating, more melodic, and had he been trying to sleep he would have probably done so almost instantly. Instead a mischievous smile crept onto his face and with no warning he flipped her on to her back and leaned over her, smiling in the semi darkness. The move was probably not wise but she seemed to be fine with it.

She yelped in surprise "Daniel!" she liked this side of him, the fun, laid back, rarely-seen-by-others Daniel, _her_ Daniel.

He cocked his head to one side in thought before leaning to one side, flicking on the bedside lamp and picking up a pair of socks from the pile of clean laundry on the floor, he'd forgotten to put away before he'd gone to bed. Sitting up he unrolled them and tugged them onto her feet; he froze however when she squirmed as his thumb traced across the inside of her foot. Had she… he did it again. Yep, she giggled.

"You're ticklish," he accused, as he finished.

She shook her head as she recognised the look in his eyes "no I'm not,"

Sitting on her legs so as to prevent her kicking him on reflex he ran his fingers down her sides and smirked when she writhed, twisting away from the teasing touch. Slightly firmer but lasting longer he did it again, and she giggled outright.

"Liar," he whispered in her ear before launching a full out attack, squealing she pushed at his hands and gasping in laughter, as soon as she started to struggle to draw a proper breath he stopped and stared at her for a moment. Completely off-guard he found himself falling onto his back and the attack being reversed, realising she had tricked him he fought back, both gentle, and both fully aware of each other's limits it turned into a full on game, peals of laughter echoed round the room.

She went to scramble of the bed but he caught her round the waist, pulling her back beneath the sheets and spooning behind her, he stroked her stomach firmly.

"I love you," he breathed.

She turned her head, one hand already resting on his "what?"

"I love you," louder but non the less sincere.

She kissed the tip of his nose before settling completely into his embrace "I love you too,"

_Author's Notes: And the award for the weirdest chapter in this fiction goes too… lol! BTW I have nothing against the names mentioned; Jess and I were just coming up with whatever we could. Elizabeth is one of my middle names (and for anyone who cares the other is Jayne) however I had no idea that was on the list Jess had come up with. As for 'Jessica' being used, Jess' namesake was apparently a china doll, and I know both her and I find those dolls kinda freaky looking (although I'd take them over them scary little clapping monkey toys) so we figured what the hell?!_

_Next Chapter: Daniel makes a suggestion, Cam walks in on them, Jack makes a crib and the Sam and Carolyn's plan comes into action._


	27. Official Interludes

_Author's Notes: This writing spree isn't gonna last for long! I know exactly when I'm gonna hit the next roadblock lol, it'll be Chapter 31 'A Nightmare Scenario'! – Ironic really._

_And wow – 200 reviews! Thanks guys!_

_You know when you hear a song and you can't stop listening to it? Well I heard one yesterday when I saw a vid to it (which was AMAZING btw) and so far I haven't stopped listening to it, the damn thing is annoying the hell outta me – I've even started a fanvid to it (rolls eyes) it's driving me insane!_

_A little shorter than last time (only seven pages) but last time it was 13 and a half! Lol!_

Chapter 27: Official Interludes

"So what's left to do?" Carolyn asked Sam. The infirmary was quiet for once and the two were alone save for a Captain O'Reilly who had come down with a nasty virus that left him light headed and not entirely with it. And considering he had no one to look after him off base Carolyn had insisted he stay until he was back on his feet.

"Nick is at my house now, decorating with Siler. I called them about half an hour ago and they said they were nearly done, I know Sandy said that she's bringing cookies, and General O'Neill is going to the store…" she checked her watch "well he should have just gone, to get some more food and… Cam!"

Carolyn whirled around to see Cam frozen outside the door, staring at Sam expectantly. "Colonel Mitchell," she said cheerily, beckoning him in.

Cam did so with a half shrug.

"Where are Daniel and Vala?" Sam asked as she checked the list in her hands.

"I just came from Jackson's office, it seems they _still_ haven't decided on a name," he shook his head and smiled. "So what d'ya need?"

"You," Carolyn said authoritatively "are in charge of getting them to Sam's house in say…"

"An hour and a half?" Sam supplied, frowning at the list.

"And how exactly am I going to do that? Bundle them both into the backseat and hightail it over there before they call me in on kidnapping?"

"Use your imagination," Carolyn challenged "it won't be that hard,"

* * *

Teal'c's quarters were always quiet and they never seemed to be fully lit, the warm glow of candles that flicked dancing shadows up the walls the only source of illumination and it was oddly calming. 

Vala was sat on a pillow in front of the jaffa who was watching her intently as he tried to teach her once more how to meditate effectively, but it seemed every time she did so she became acutely aware of just how uncomfortable she was.

"Relax," the deep bass voice was as soothing as the room itself but it still didn't help yet she was adamant that she would succeed because she was sick of being so edgy all the time.

She opened her eyes and sighed, slumping and sighing in frustration "I can't do it," she said, defeatedly. She felt out of place and part of her wished that the baby would hurry up and come already because she was well and truly past the oh-wow-I'm-pregnant stage and reaching the point where anything was better than this. She jumped and her eyes widened.

"Vala Maldoran are you well?" Teal'c's voice was laced with concern.

"It… the baby… it…"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow in confusion, concern still evident although not so prominent now he was certain she was not in a great deal of pain.

"Adria never and this… it's never moved before," a look of awe on her face as she sat bolt upright as the baby moved again.

"Did not Doctor Lam inform you that it would happen?"

"Yes but it hasn't until now… at least not so… it did it again!" The smile on her face was of sheer joy, and she reached forwards, forcing him to either get to his knees and move over or risk falling flat on his face, and seized his hand, pressing it against her stomach. "See?" she breathed "it's never kicked like that before… not so hard!"

Teal'c smiled fondly at her as the soft pat against his palm caused her to laugh in delight "it is most special Vala Maldoran," he pulled back "I am honoured,"

She went to jump to her feet but stumbled and he helped her up without hesitation, nodding politely when she thanked him "I have to go see Daniel now!"

* * *

"So…" Jack sauntered into Daniel's office with a smirk on his face as Daniel's hands immediately closed over each other and a startled expression spread across his face "whatcha got there then Daniel?" 

"Nothing," he opened a drawer and slipped the object inside with as much discretion as possible.

"Uh-huh," he said disbelieve evident "ya know-"

"Sir!" Sam said, almost horrified "don't you have somewhere to be?" she glanced briefly at Daniel who seemed completely lost.

"Huh?"

"Sir!" she hissed, giving Daniel a brief look then back to Jack with pointed intensity "you know…"

"Oh! Right…" then to Daniel "it's about time," he winked at him and then left with Sam following hastily on his heels.

Daniel shook his head after trying for a moment to figure out what on earth was going on but then decided it wasn't worth the effort. Returning to the drawer and pulling the little box back out, he barely had time to open it before his topic of thought came barrelling through the door, breathless and looking ever-so-slightly flustered.

"Daniel!" Vala cried elatedly "I was… with…" she paused to catch her breath and he watched her calmly "with Teal'c and… it moved!"

"Hasn't it already done that?" he got to his feet all the same as she dropped into a chair by the door.

"Not like that," she grinned brightly pulling his hand to her stomach and then releasing him when it caused the box to fall to the floor "what's this?" she leaned down awkwardly to pick it up.

"Nothing…" he went to take it off her but didn't succeed when she tugged it out of the way "shouldn't you go see Carolyn?"

"Don't be silly Daniel, it was nothing," she opened the box slowly, the hinge stiff "oh…"

Daniel rubbed the back of his head, uncomfortable "yeah…"

"Wow…" she plucked the delicate silver band from it's cushion and held it up, the pattern on it intricate and on the inside the word 'always' was engraved in script "Daniel…"

"It's nothing special," he began, feeling more than a little awkward "I just thought that… maybe you'd like to do it again,"

She looked up from examining the ring "hmm? What?"

"Marry me, it doesn't have to be anything special, in fact we don't even have to do anything at all. I just thought that… well that says it really and as we weren't exactly ourselves last time and we didn't have rings-" he was cut off as she sprung to her feet and threw her arms around his neck.

"I love it," she pulled back and held the ring up between them, not that she allowed much space "always," she murmurred as he took it from her and slid it onto her wedding finger, not taking his eyes off her.

The kiss that followed was soft and slow, and did not last long; there was no need for it too. He rested his forehead against hers, smiling just slightly as she leaned up to kiss him again.

A throat clearing from the doorway had them nigh on springing apart and Cam laughing.

"That never gets old Jackson," he laughed "she's pregnant and you _still _act like a kid caught stealing from the cookie jar when someone catches you kissing her. I mean geez; it's kinda obvious you've passed that stage already," off Daniel's unimpressed look he continued "I need your help with something,"

"And what makes you think that we want to help?" Vala said, arms folding, obviously as irked as Daniel at Cam's remark.

"Fine, what about if I said that _Sam _needs your help?"

* * *

Jack clapped his hands together as an indicator of a job well completed, looking up at the table on the other end of the room, plates of food and pitchers of juice decorated the plain white table clothes that Sam had dug out from somewhere. 

"Good job on that Jack," Ferretti slapped his back in congratulations "how much did you pay Siler to do it for you?"

Jack glared at him "I didn't,"

"The man's loosing his touch! Doing it for free,"

Jack shook his head, unable to prevent the smile the jovial teasing nature the Airforce Major always seemed to sport no matter the situation, elicited.

At the mention of his name Siler looked up from fixing the banner and balloons to the ceiling "actually sir, he did it himself," he corrected politely.

Ferretti gave Jack a mock look of surprise "you retire Jack, and decide to take up carpentry?"

Jack ignored him.

"That looks great Siler!" Carolyn congratulated putting her hands in the back pockets of her jeans as Siler climbed back down the stepladder to survey his work.

"Isn't this supposed to be a woman thing?" Ferretti said as Sam nodded in acceptance of Siler's completed task and he went and put the ladder away.

"That would have been a great party wouldn't it Lou?" Carolyn's eyes narrowed "me, Colonel Carter and Vala?"

Ferretti shrugged "could've called a stripper, gotten the Doc and Jack riled up,"

Carolyn smiled sweetly at him "looking forward to your next physical are we?"

Ferretti blanched "no ma'am,"

Jack laughed.

"It's not like it's a 'baby shower' as such," Sam said slowly "more just a congratulations party," she continued absently as she reached into her pocket for her ringing cell "Cameron… yeah, we're ready…" she hung up "they're here,"

* * *

"Shouldn't you have knocked Cameron?" Vala admonished as he ushered both her and Daniel through the door. "Oh…" 

"Surprise!" Came several shouts.

Sam stepped forwards as no one seemed sure what to do next and wrapped her arms round Vala, before releasing her and doing the same to Daniel. "We just wanted to say… well…"

"Congratulations," Nick said from by the buffet, raising his open beer bottle.

"Wow…" Vala breathed yet again, happy tears starting to fall "God, I'm crying now…"

Carolyn walked over and hugged her tightly "like it?" she said as she pulled back, squeezing her hands she was about to step away "what's this?" she held up Vala's hand for a moment then let it go, she looked at Daniel "about time," was all she said.

The silence that followed was broke when Ferretti called out "who's for drinks?"

* * *

Vala looked disdainfully down at the glass of apple juice in her hand "I want a beer," 

"It would damage the baby," Simon Wells, said as he finished talking to Teal'c who had arrived a few minutes after Daniel and Vala had with sincere apologies as he'd been talking to Landry who was unable to attend for obvious reasons. "Marci was just the same before Janet was born,"

"Isn't Janet the woman in your photo album?" Vala straightened.

"Yeah,"

Wells looked at Daniel for a moment; "she died saving my life. So I named my daughter after her,"

"Oh," Vala said, unsure how she was supposed to react.

"She'll be three soon," he brightened the mood that seemed to have descended upon the trio in recollection of that day "you'll have to meet her Vala, she'd love you,"

Vala nodded enthused, relaxing back into the couch.

"Oh!" Wells exclaimed, rushing off before returning seconds later "Marci wanted me to give you this," he handed the stuffed bear to Vala, much the same design as the one Daniel had given little Janet years before, except darker. "She said she's sorry she couldn't make it but Janet's come down with a cold and neither of us thought it would be a good idea for you to catch it,"

"Thank you," Vala said sincerely, taking the gift and setting it next to her on the couch, Wells nodded and excused himself. "You could drink you know," she said, resting her head on Daniel's shoulder.

Daniel shook his head "I'd rather not,"

"Why?"

"Because he's a cheap date," Cam teased, taking a seat on the coffee table before Sam shook her head at him and he got up again rolling his eyes.

Vala smiled, looking towards the gifts in the corner, the crib Jack had made along with a children's street hockey set that made Daniel roll his eyes and Sam and Carolyn share a look that said clearly why men shouldn't be let loose in shopping malls. Clothes in such abundance she thought there was no way that one baby could go through them all from Sam. Some rather strange presents that included everything from a bath mat to diapers from Carolyn and some of the nurses most of, which hadn't been able to make it, but she assumed that was just them being practical.

There was football from Cam, and a set of rubber ducks from Ferretti, which had, had several rounds of laughter echoing round the room. A water pistol and stuffed rabbit from Teal'c. Along with the bear from his wife Wells seemed to be responsible for the stack of towels that now sat in the crib along with the other gifts with his sincerest assurances that no matter how many they already had they would need more. And from Nick a delicate looking music box that seemed to hold some deep meaning to Daniel and from the look on his face as Nick had handed him it she had no intention of asking about it, at least not for some time anyway.

Her gaze travelled across the room, it wasn't filled to the rafters but had enough people for her to be practically glowing with delight. Each person in there was special, part of the unique family she had been at first shut out of for reasons she now understood; they were close, so close it was terrifying at times and yet once they let her in, and she could see the real people…

Sam was so much more relaxed; Carolyn smiled more, and seemed to be flirting without even being fully aware of it. Mitchell was just as teasing and almost as new to the whole tight-knit-family thing as she was. Nick… you just never knew what he was going to do next, he wasn't dramatic, he tended to be quiet and would watch you carefully, ready to pounce if anyone needed a hand which he would gladly give. Daniel… well Daniel was _hers_, she smiled as he unconsciously squeezed her gently, and she shifted to settle more comfortably next to him.

Teal'c, Ferretti and Jack… that was the thing about them, what you saw was what you got, no strings attached, no possibly-maybes. If they liked you they let you know and if they didn't? And if they didn't then… you know what? It didn't even matter.

_Author's Notes: I think as half term is drawing to a dreaded close :( my mind is turning to sap – that proposal scene was… urgh! Not supposed to be that… Anyway review? _

_The inclusion of Wells was because I really liked him and Janet was really amazing, (I'll be mentioning her again at some point) and – no, not saying anything more. XD_

_Next Chapter: Jack makes his move and Vala… well Vala tries her hand at the art of matchmaking only to have some… unexpected consequences…_


	28. Temptation

_Author's Notes: I should be doing my math homework. Or my science. Or maybe design, but oddly enough this is FAR more interesting, can't possibly think why…lol._

Chapter 28: Temptation

"Hey," Jack said, stepping into Sam's lab, with a soft introductory tap on the door "everything okay?"

She frowned at Merlin's device "yes sir," she said automatically with the air of someone far to preoccupied to actually be paying much attention to who ever had to audacity to speak to them.

"Still working on that device huh?"

She hissed and shook her hand as said device sparked and her finger caught the current "yes sir-"

"Carter," he said, and she looked up at his tone, he wasn't sure what he wanted to say next. There were so many things going on in his head it was almost deafening, yes, no, maybe, should he, could he, to many questions, not enough answers, and yet it was as if a hundred voices were all screaming at once with no hope of being heard.

Her eyebrow quirked in a way that was impossible to be described in any other way but cute in his current state of mind, she shook her head as the action caused her fringe to fall into her eyes.

Sam couldn't quite figure out the expression on her ex-CO's face, that in itself was unnerving. The man had never really been an open book, there were so many times when that had irritated her, and yet at the same time as wanting to hit him for being so closed off she was also grateful he did. It made obeying regulations so much easier when they weren't so attune to one another.

The silence was killing him, the air between them was almost electric and he had absolutely no idea what to do next. Thinking it through was doing nothing for either of them except possibly making his cold water bill sky-rocket and in one swift movement his hands were at her neck, fingers lost in thick blonde locks.

He felt a twinge of guilt when she did not immediately respond, however it dissipated the moment she relaxed into him, her fingers ghosting across his jaw.

"Sir?" she whispered as she pulled back, even if the back of her chair had not been there she would still not have moved away, his breath tickled her skin and felt odd against the flush she knew had risen.

"Carter…" Dammit, even now, he still couldn't say it, couldn't say 'Sam' couldn't ask the simplest question, Sara had been his world for over a decade and he never once been so lost for words.

"Guys?" Daniel knocked on the door, smiling slightly when he noticed them both turn to look at him, eyes wide as Sam cleared her throat and turned back to her desk for a second before turning back, her movement giving Jack enough time to step out of the way. "Am I interrupting something?"

Sam glanced at Jack from beneath her eyelashes "nope," she tore her eyes away from Jack and smiled brightly at Daniel.

Daniel looked at Jack who after the brief eye contact that Sam had initiated was examining the walls with an interest so intense it couldn't possibly be real, giving the older man an odd look that was ignored he held up the papers in his hand. "You said you wanted my help with Merlin's device,"

She nodded "uh-huh, yes" she beckoned him over.

Jack gave Daniel a tight smile, ever so slightly put out by the fact that Sam had so candidly said 'no' when asked if they were busy. He'd had the decency too… no; he hadn't, what about…? Nope not then either. Okay so the guy had every right to walk in on them, and he was probably oblivious to anything having happened anyway – was Daniel _smirking _at him?

Jack kicked the table leg in front of him, regretting it immediately as sneakers proved to be little good at cushioning his toes against the hard material.

"Jack?" _what the hell are you doing?_

Of course he hadn't been smirking, the voice in the back of his head said, that was too devious, and possibly even vindictive, you're just disappointed you and Carter didn't get too – he shook his head.

"I'm gonna go home, see ya later," he said, catching Sam's eyes briefly before both diverted their gazes and leaving, his heart pounding in his ears.

* * *

Vala winced, and rubbed her stomach firmly to relief the sharp stab of pain that shot through it. It was another 'perfectly normal' occurrence apparently; she hated 'normal'.

"Vala?" Nick reached forward to touch her hand as she rested them once more on the table "are you all right?"

She flashed a charming little smile "I'm fine,"

"You sure? You know you're getting awfully close-"

"It's nothing," she cut him off "Doctor Lam said it's all normal, I saw her this morning," she lied, and felt a brief spike of guilt when he nodded at her, content with her response "I uh… need to go to the bathroom, excuse me,"

* * *

She took several calming breaths, there had only been the one pain, that was nothing to worry about, now it was just uncomfortable but Carolyn had already told her that would happen, it was just the baby moving around, trying to get into the right position.

The women's bathroom on level twenty-five smelt of peaches; presumably the soap as she highly doubted any of the personnel here would sport a perfume that smelt so sickly or so strong.

The discomfort was easing somewhat only to be replaced by a churning nausea that sent her hurtling into a stall and promptly permitting breakfast to make it's reappearance.

Surprisingly after that she felt better, and a moment of dizziness was the only residual effects of her sudden bout of sickness.

Gathering her hair in one hand she held it aside as she took several mouthfuls of the water from the taps, the cool liquid soothing on her aching throat.

She remembered the last time she had been in there throwing up; Sam's hand on her back as she rode the last waves of nausea, and her voice calming on a sea of turmoil that she thought would never stop rocking the proverbial boat.

Sam who had seemed so unsure of where she stood around Vala was the closest female friend she could have ever have hoped for. Despite her obvious discomfort she had taken Vala home, and had helped her far more than she could possibly ever know.

Who, with the aid of Jack, had forced both herself and Daniel to start mending torn down fences… Jack. Now there was something to think about.

There was blatantly something between those two, stolen glances were not so discreet when it seemed like no one was looking, expressions of longing dancing briefly though their eyes.

She knew military regulations, knew the rules and also knew that the relationship that herself and Daniel had was hardly suitable for a team going into armed combat but no one would stop them, no one would dare try.

But she also knew that Sam was… not shy, nor was she withdrawn, just… apprehensive, there was no way that she would make the first move, would even dream of putting herself out there, the woman was to proud for that. In her eyes she probably thought it would look desperate if not pathetic if, now that Jack had retired, she threw herself at him.

Jack would try sure, but… she smiled to herself.

* * *

Vala stood outside Jack's house, it was nice, the sun was shining brightly and the trees were green, the windows sparkled in the bright light. The airman paused outside his vehicle and Vala waved him away, nodding and with a polite "yes ma'am," he got back in and drove away.

Knowing twice on the door she waited on the doorstep, looking around her with interested eyes until the rap was answered.

"Vala?" he exclaimed surprised "what're you doing here?"

She opened her mouth to speak but the world began to spin so violently her knees buckled, clutching at the door frame as a sharp pain ripped through her abdomen with such force and with so little warning it caught her off guard.

"Vala!" Jack caught her under her arms "Vala, are you all right?"

She swallowed and the world began to right itself, albeit it slowly, pushing away from him and stumbling in through the door way she nodded "fine," she breathed, stepping back "I'm fine,"

"Are you sure? I mean that looked like-"

"It's nothing," she assured him "I'm fine,"

He gave her a sceptical look.

"I… you have to see Sam," she said abruptly.

Concern flashed across his face "why? What's wrong?"

"I think you should-" she cut herself of with a scream as her abdominal muscles spasmed and clenched so tight it was as if they were about to explode, she doubled over, arms wrapped around herself. Her eyes squeezed shut and her breaths sharp and hissing through clenched teeth.

Jack grabbed her elbows, easing her back upright and when she went to collapse again, pulling her close to him, she leaned heavily against him even as she fought to find her feet.

Only two words crossed Jack's mind.

* * *

The only sounds in Sam's lab were of her fingers tapping the keyboard and Daniel's pen scratching against the paper as he scribbled things down in a mess. When Sam caught sight of it she prayed he would write a neater version before she had to try and discern it.

The phone ringing cut through the peaceful silence and Sam got to her feet to answer it, Daniel didn't even look up.

"Carter," she said, she paled considerably "Sir… still working on the device… Vala's with you… she's _what_? Are you serious… oh my God… yes, of course… is she all right?"

Daniel looked up, frowning slightly "what's wrong?" he asked quietly, not wanting Sam to miss anything if something bad _had_ happened.

Sam looked straight at him; "Vala's gone into labour!"

Daniel dropped his pen and stumbled as his foot caught Sam's chair as he lunged for the phone "Jack?" Sam handed him the phone "let me speak to her… I don't care Jack just let me - Vala… yeah… just calm down okay? We're on our way," he slammed the phone down and glanced back at Sam who was already waiting for him by the door.

_Next Chapter: Something borrowed, something blue, something old…_


	29. Something New

_Author's Notes: I was gonna leave you like that but then the depression of half term being over kicked in and I found myself writing so here you go… But please do remember although I have written labors before I am only fifteen and… well I'm as blind with this as I am with romantic relationships – it all comes from what I've seen on TV :S _

Chapter 29: Something New

"Easy, easy," Jack coaxed as he help Vala get her footing again, he'd done this before, it wouldn't be hard… who the hell was he kidding?

"I'm fine," she swallowed and took several deep breaths "I'm-"

"You've been spending too much time with Daniel," he teased, where too? Living room or bedroom? It seemed kind of inappropriate to take his best friend's wife into his bedroom, so that suggested towards the living room, but then it didn't matter what _was _appropriate. Just how to keep Vala comfortable… well as comfortable as it was possible to be whilst, to quote Sara 'trying to push a football through the eye of a needle'.

She seemed to get the idea and was already trying to pull away towards the living room "just… need to sit down," she said breathlessly.

The living room it was then, it didn't really matter, as soon as he could get Doctor Lam there then she'd be taken to the infirmary anyway wouldn't she? He wasn't prepared for Vala's legs to give way completely and she half fell into a crumpled heap on the floor by one of the armchairs.

When he went to get her up again she shook her head "…fine… just need to sit down, that's all," her eyes were drifting shut and her breaths were short and sharp.

Jack had a brief flash of Sara in the hospital. Screaming her head off at the nurses who were trying with the patience of saints to help her, perfectly accepting of the obscenities that she had aimed at them every time they so much as breathed.

"Jack," she whispered, her breath hissed through her teeth.

"Come on," he said gently "just breath okay?" he took her hand and looked around for his phone, insanely grateful to the fact his cell was on the coffee table behind him. Reaching over with his free hand to get it he was startled when her hand clamped round his wrist in a death grip.

"You're not... going anywhere..." she hissed, a deadly look in her eyes.

He laughed, he couldn't help it "I need to call Daniel don't I?" he replied "or would you rather he wasn't here?"

She let go like he was scorching hot "get Daniel," she said, relaxing as the contraction passed, releasing both his hands and her eyes slid closed. The aching burn in her lower half had dissipated for now.

"Carter... yeah... where are you... Vala's with me listen she's… yes… she's gone into labor... yes of _course _I'm serious Carter, you think I'm joking… get Doctor Lam as well… right, she's fine… just… Daniel! For crying out loud, would you get your asses here _now…?_ I don't think she's in the mood right now Daniel… fine…" he handed the phone to Vala, who shared brief words with her husband before throwing the phone deftly across the room in a stupid attempt to relieve some of the pain.

Jack felt a stab of something akin to sympathy although he would never tell her that after Sara's screeches of 'sorry? You're _sorry_? Sorry doesn't even _begin _to cover what you should be feeling right now you horny bastard!' she'd screamed then and collapsed, and as soon as he knelt beside her she'd all but crawled into his skin for several minutes, howling into his chest.

He bit back a rather unmanly squeak of pain as she squeezed his fingers, biting her lip so as too muffle the blood curdling scream that wanted to escape, and pried away from her as the phone started to ring again "Vala, I need you to let go… I'm not going far, I just need to get the phone,"

She nodded "go…"

Darting across the room he answered "O'Neill… Doc! … I don't know maybe five-ten minutes… on my living room floor… I don't think I could move her if I wanted to… I assure you Doctor, we're not going _anywhere_… see you in fifteen then." He hung up and moved back over to Vala, flexing his fingers as if to prepare them to be crushed again.

* * *

Changing took far longer than Daniel liked it and the elevators from the infirmary where they had told Carolyn that Vala was in labor, were running treacherously slowly. 

Finally the doors opened and as if to make up for lost time both he and Sam set off at a run down the corridor, hurtling past the passing marines who looked more than slightly disgruntled at being jostled should either of them falter a step out of line.

"Woah guys, what's up?" Cam called as they passed him and Teal'c at a slightly slower pace so as to negotiate the coming corner.

Sam looked back over her shoulder "Vala's gone into labor," she replied.

Cam's jaw dropped and both he and Teal'c set off after them.

* * *

"Come on," Jack coaxed "we need to get you somewhere more-" 

Vala shook her head in one jerky movement "fine here… oh… God!" she threw her head back and the last word was screamed, her fingers splayed across the floor and her nails digging into the rug.

"Easy, easy," he tucked her hair back out of the way gently, the touch firm "you okay now?"

She nodded.

"You can't be comfortable there,"

She ignored him.

Well if she wasn't going to move, then his furniture was going to have too, the coffee table took more effort than he wanted to admit to push closer to the fireplace.

His front door swung open and four whirlwinds that looked suspiciously like SG1 came flying through it "yes Daniel, you can come in." He said sarcastically as the younger man immediately knelt next to Vala but the other three stood hesitantly in the hall, his attempt at humour was lost and Jack dismissed it with an idle wave of his hand.

"Hey," Daniel whispered, as his hand was taken in a firm grasp.

Sam looked away from the duo on the floor and then to Jack, preferring to ignore the uncomfortable waves of tension flooding between them she spoke "did Carolyn call?"

"She said she'll be here in…" he glanced at his watch "ten minutes,"

Sam nodded.

"Jack, we need towels," Daniel turned his head.

"We're on it," Jack gestured for Sam to follow him out of the room.

Daniel turned back to Vala, trying to ignore the tremors that were currently coursing through his body, he'd done this before, for the Argosian woman, even for Sha're, there was absolutely no need to be shaking the way he was. "You need to take off your pants,"

Cam had the decency to look mildly uncomfortable as Vala sent a glare in his and Teal'c's direction.

"You're not going to get embarrassed on me now are you?" he cajoled, smiling in a way he hoped conveyed encouragement.

"No," she said shortly, arching slightly as a tiny spasm bought back the fire of the last contraction "just wondering…whether I should be…" she grimaced as she leant back against the chair and set about trying to flick the snap of her jeans "selling tickets,"

* * *

"Sir…" Sam started as Jack reached into the top of the linen cupboard and began pulling out various towels. 

"Carter," he warned.

"_Jack," _the word tasted odd, but it also sent shivers up her spine, she could call him that now, they could… "About earlier… has anything changed…?"

He dumped another load of towels into her waiting arms "it depends," he gave her a meaningful look "do you want it too?"

She opened her mouth to speak, did she want too? Of course she wanted too, had done for a long time but too many rules, regulations and complications had gotten in the way. And now all of a sudden everything she had 'wanted but couldn't have' was hers for the taking.

"Jack!" Came a panicked cry from Daniel, swiftly followed by blood curdling scream from Vala.

"I believe now would be an excellent time O'Neill," Teal'c did not have to raise his voice to be heard.

"There's our cue," Jack gave her a smile and gestured her forwards.

* * *

Daniel swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth as he reached to help Vala with the removal of her pants but found that the shivers he'd been trying to suppress were growing to violent for him to be of much use to her. 

"Jack!" What the hell was taking so long? Even he knew where the towels were and it wasn't even his house! And did he have to sound so panicky?

"I believe now would be an excellent time O'Neill," Teal'c followed his example.

Sam was by them in seconds, somehow managing to get a towel beneath Vala without making her move and draping another across Vala's lap to provide her some sense of decency before giving Daniel a sympathetic smile, and pushing his hands aside to help Vala herself.

"You okay Jackson?" Cam couldn't keep the concern from his voice.

"I'm…" he swallowed and the next word came out higher than normal "fine…" he watched as Sam placed the jeans beside Vala and step back as if suddenly realising what she was doing and becoming rather uncertain.

"Have you not delivered infants before Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c asked, eyebrows raised in empathy.

Daniel spared him a cursory glance "it's a little different when it's your own Teal'c," he muttered, jumping when Vala snatched his hand tightly, sat next to her he leant sideways onto the arm of the chair.

"Doctor Lam will be here soon, so you just sit there and-" the punch line of Jack's quip was cut short as the aforementioned CMO came sweeping in, medical kit in hand.

Kneeling at Vala's feet Carolyn immediately set to business "hey," she said softly, catching Vala's eye "how long have you been feeling pain like this Vala?" she opened her bag before looking back to the young woman in front of her.

"Started…" she panted "maybe three… weeks ago… you said it was nor-mal,"

Carolyn nodded, rolling her sleeves up and pulling on latex gloves.

"Then again… yesterday…"

"Yesterday?" Daniel exclaimed, "you never said anything!"

"It's okay Daniel," Carolyn assured him "there was no real way to be certain it's not Braxton Hicks until the water's break and sometimes that doesn't even happen. If she's experienced pain like this before and it was the baby moving then she wasn't wrong to think it was the same thing again,"

That seemed to calm him for the time being.

"Nick," Vala muttered.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"Nick… needs to be… he should be here…"

Jack resisted the urge to make some crack about Daniel having competition – see? He had tact, just didn't use it much, didn't see the need.

"I've got it," Cam said, waving his car keys "just hang in there Vala, I didn't pay ten bucks just to miss the show," flashing a grin at her as he referred to her ticket remark, he left.

Everyone momentarily looked stricken by his comment but relaxed when they saw that Vala simply smiled after him.

Carolyn moved on "Vala I need to see how far along you are okay?" She waited for Vala's stiff nod as she eased her knees up before doing so "you've dilated fast," she reported, taking another couple of towels and positioning them accordingly. "When the next contraction comes I need you to push okay?"

Her lips squeezed together and her eyes wide for just a moment before snapping shut as she howled the contraction through, Daniel's fingers slipping in hand as she squeezed them so tight it elicited a small noise of pain.

"Easy, shh… come on Vala breathe…" Carolyn imitated the breaths she wanted her to take, when she seemed to struggled she gave Daniel a pointed look who immediately tried as well, oddly it helped calm him as well. "Breathe… good girl…"

"I hate you," she whimpered, tears mingling with the sweat that drenched her face "I really, really hate you." Even as she spoke she found herself shifting ever so slightly, turning her head as he stroked her hair in a way that was comforting but at the moment she didn't care "this is all your…" she sobbed as a stab of pain rocketed through her lower half "fault…"

It was strange the response he had to those words, claws at his chest before he took a breath he hadn't realised he was holding, women said things during labor, things although they were very true weren't really meant in the context they were said. "I'm… sorry," he muttered, uncaring to the audience.

In response she sat up enough for him to take the hint and put his free arm around her shoulders, leaving her to lean into his chest, unwittingly the motion giving Vala leverage to, whether she knew it or not, scream in his ear as if in some poor revenge for the agony she was currently in.

"Push Vala," Carolyn encouraged, hands beneath the towel covering Vala's lap.

"I am pushing!" she snapped, the contraction ended, and she turned to bury her face in Daniel's neck, her skin burning against his.

He hugged her with one arm, cupping the back of her head firmly as she whimpered into his shoulder, shaking so much that just by touching her Daniel started shuddering even more than his own tremors had made.

"Push," Carolyn advised again, she sat up again and did so, screaming so loud it made everyone wince. "I've got a head! And again Vala-"

"I can't," she was completely lax against Daniel, her entire body fighting the overwhelming urge to just slip into blissful oblivion "I can't…"

"Vala if you don't-"

Daniel cut the doctor off, cupping Vala's face with both hands "you can," he gave her a pointed look when she tried to shake her head "you can because you _have _too…" he released her and took her hand again, holding them up for her to see "on three okay?"

Biting her lip almost hard enough to draw blood, she nodded, eyes widening when Nick and Cam came through the door and Nick smiled encouragingly at her, Cam giving her a discreet thumbs up.

"One… two… three…"

She screamed, she couldn't take much more of this, it was… Adria had been bad enough but even she didn't come close to the agony that was tearing through her body now.

"You're doing great honey," Carolyn's voice was catching in her throat, although she had been trained to do this, she hadn't been required to be a midwife very often being on the military pay roll and it was, well, nerve wracking, she cleared her throat "Shoulders, we've got shoulders, once more okay? But it has to be hard… really big… on three again…"

"One…" Sam ventured, completely unaware that she had drifted over to Jack and was standing unprofessionally close to him.

"Two…" Jack and Nick both continued, both hesitant to make a sound and so they were much quieter than Sam had been.

"Three…" Carolyn and Daniel declared in unison.

Carolyn shifted her weight as Vala gave one final push, the baby came free, high-pitched cries permeating the air of the house as she reached for the medical scissors in her bag, neatly cutting the umbilical cord she swaddling the baby in a soft towel that Nick passed her, when he had moved closer to her she hadn't noticed. "Congratulations," she whispered, handing the tiny infant over to it's mother's waiting arms "you've got a little girl,"

"A girl?" Vala laughed weakly, her cheeks tear stained and her body exhausted as she used the corner of the towel to wipe the blood away from her daughter's head.

An uproar of applause and cheers accompanied the new-born's wails and as it died down Cam spoke "so what's her name then?"

Panic flitted across Vala's face and a similar expression came to Daniel's, his fingers stilled their stroking action on the baby's head. "I don't… we don't…"

"What about…Lexy?" Carolyn suggested quietly, her latex gloves already removed and laid on a soiled towel beside her.

Vala smiled and looked at Daniel for approval. Unable to take his eyes of the beautiful little girl, he didn't respond.

"Claire," Nick looked straight at Daniel "Lexy-Claire?"

Daniel looked up, to Vala and then back down at his daughter, he nodded.

"Lexy-Claire Jackson," Vala murmurred, leaning back against Daniel, exhaustion setting in but to at awe to sleep "it's… perfect,"

_Author's Notes: Alas! The end of half term!_

_Next Chapter: Sam and Jack discuss what happened between them._


	30. Lexy Claire Jackson

_Author's Notes: Lexy-Claire… in regards to that name I was having some issues coming up with an original name, as a lot of fictions seem to go with names like 'Sha're' 'Charlie' and 'Janet' and I just wanted something original. Anyway, after much deliberation and being told by my mom that it sounded like a pastry Lexy-Claire was formed (okay, I didn't really break the trend of dead-people's-names-being-used but it was something different) and I discovered a short time ago that Lexy means 'defender' and Claire means 'bright' and… I really don't want to say any more!_

_I'm not good at pieces like this, or indeed the past few chapters… fluff and romance… it's not what I do really, probably why they didn't even start to reconcile until ch17 but…_

_I seem to be writing really random things at the moment – I posted 'Yes, No, I Don't Know,' on Saturday, 'Stupid to Resist' today… and Jess has asked me to try and write another fiction which I have to actually figure out the technicalities of if I'm ever to write it (it may never work :P) but I'm going to do that later. For now…_

Chapter 30: Lexy-Claire Jackson

Carolyn had wanted Vala to stay in the infirmary with Lexy but Vala had been extremely against the idea and her seeming 'escorts' refused to leave her, which she certainly didn't seem to be bothered by. Neither the CMO or the General had the heart to tell her no, but both knew it was safer for the both of them to stay on base.

With swift assurances from everyone that any problems and Carolyn would be called immediately, in the mean time she would check on them every couple of hours before her shift ended and then it was up to Doctor Warner.

A bassinet had been retrieved from Jack's basement and after a brief moment of discomfort shared between those who knew who it had once belonged too the battle to construct it had begun. Even if it was only a temporary arrangement as of all the things that had been bought for Daniel and Vala or they had bought themselves it seemed 'bassinet' had never once appeared on the list.

After an exhausted Vala had given up as despite protestations on everyone else's part she was adamant that she try even if it had taken her less than five minutes to burst into noisy tears. Daniel had been to preoccupied with holding his daughter and soothing his now distressed wife to help assemble the offending piece of furniture and Jack had lost the instruction manual which meant he was loathe to even try, Cam had jumped up with a 'I'm going to get coffee' disregarding Sam's remark that he could just get an airman to bring it to him and Teal'c had wisely stayed silent.

Nick and Sam had been the ones left to construct the bassinet and half an hour later Jack was watching with some amusement as the usually patient young blonde and her companion gritted their teeth and forged on with the seemingly impossible job.

Lexy for her part had stayed quiet, sound asleep in her father's arms, snow white footie-pyjamas stark against her pink skin. The small amount of blonde-brown hair she had clung to her head in thin straight strands, and her tiny hand twitched around her mothers finger.

Now, an hour later the bassinet was made and Lexy placed in it much to the chagrin of her parents. Nick was dozing in an armchair comfortably, his arms crossed and his chin tucked into his chest as he skirted the edges of sleep, at the table Jack was dealing the cards again, poker chips scattered across the workspace and Cam and Teal'c discussing the merits of a seemingly intriguing movie that Jack had neglected to catch the title of.

"Daniel," Sam whispered gently, smiling softly at him "you look exhausted,"

"What?" he shook his head and blinked hard at her, "huh?"

"Why don't you go to sleep? Believe me if she wakes up you'll know about it," Jack flashed a knowing grin at the younger man as Cam's voice became a little louder than a strained whisper and Sam turned to shush him.

Daniel wasn't listening, his eyes already drawn back to the bassinet positioned by the bed Vala was sound asleep in.

Sprawled on her back Lexy had half kicked the comforter back, her tiny hands clenching and unclenching in minute fists by her head as she opened and closed her mouth every so often. Cerulean blue eyes were closed and, dusty eye lashes flickered across velvety skin as she dreamt.

Lexy snuffled slightly and her eyes flickered open, fixing on her father with a sleepy blink, smiling Daniel reached into the bassinet and ghosted the backs of his fingers down the side of her face, yawning she turned into the touch, resting her head on the other side to before as she slipped back to sleep.

Sam looked at Jack with a tiny smile, almost surprised to see he was already looking at her a bright grin on his face. "Sir?"

"Sam," he replied softly, a twinkle in his eye that had her stifling a quiet laugh and nodding as he gave her a 'not now' look.

Cam raised an eyebrow at them "sir?" he prompted.

Jack placed some of his chips in the centre after glancing at his cards "Jack," was all he said.

"Daniel Jackson,"

Daniel jumped, eyes flickering open again as he blinked wearily at his friend "Teal'c?"

"The kid ain't going anywhere," Cam teased from over the top of his hands of cards.

Daniel glared at him for a second. "Promised Vala," he whispered.

For Daniel to speaking in gutted sentences it was becoming increasingly obvious that he wasn't exactly 'complis mentis' .

"I don't think she wanted you too exhaust yourself Daniel," Sam said quietly, giving him a sympathetic look.

"I'm not tired." He rubbed his eyes absently "you guys can go if you want,"

"We are not leaving Daniel Jackson," Teal'c announced firmly.

"You must be tired too," his eyes drawn once more to his slumbering daughter.

"We'll be fine Daniel," Nick said, surprising everyone when he moved. "take the rest whilst you can get it," he gave a knowing smile.

* * *

Sam looked up from the notepad on the table, multiple games started, finished and even recreated with new rules scattered numerous pages of the pad. 

Nick had fallen completely asleep shortly after the team effort to convince Daniel that Lexy couldn't possibly be safer therefore why on Earth would he want to stay up all night when she would be exactly where he left her in the morning was a lost concept to his friends.

Cam was sat on the floor at the foot of the bed that Daniel and Vala were sharing, his back against the bed post, arms and legs cross and his head on his shoulder; an extremely uncomfortable looking position to sleep in but he seemed happy enough. Teal'c was sat opposite him, leaning against the wall, in his usual position for Kel-no-reem except he was asleep or at least Sam presumed him so. A half-finished card game lay on the floor between them.

Leaving her and Jack sat at the table playing Hangman.

"Sam?" Jack tapped the page.

"Yellow Brick Road," she said after a moment studying the page.

"Damn," he filled in the remaining letters and throwing the notepad away from them, followed by the pen.

There was a light tap at the door followed by the airman opening it "sir, ma'am," he nodded at the still awake duo.

Doctor Warner peered in "is everything okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yep," Jack smiled at him "one big slumber party in here Doc,"

Doctor Warner gave him a wry smile, satisfied that all was well he left again.

"So what now?" Sam asked after a few minutes of silence and uncomfortable fidgeting on her part.

"You tired?"

She contemplated it "I should be-" she said simply, resisting the urge to add 'sir' on the end of her sentence. It still felt odd to even think about addressing him as 'Jack' but she supposed, fair enough, because they'd only… only what? They'd kissed before, too many times for regulations to accept it, and not enough for it to sate their irrepressible need for one another. "sir… I think… about earlier…" where to start?

"I stick by what I said earlier Carter," Jack's gaze was fixed on a spot somewhere on the floor by the bed "it's up to you. I've retired, I've got nothing to loose,"

Retired, he'd retired. And as selfish as it sounded, she hoped, no, she knew that part of that reason was her, or at least she wished it so badly that it was pathetic and became real in her convoluted and overly-active mind. "I think…"

He looked at her, waiting patiently for a response. The only source of light was the lamp beside them, the rest of the room was pitched in darkness and there was nothing to break the silence that followed.

She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry "I think it's worth a try sir," she felt like she had just jumped off an unbelievably tall building without even thinking about it first, without calculating the distance she was from the ground, how long she could bear the pressure that was building in her lungs as the air rushed through them and how long it would be before she lost consciousness and whether or not it would be before or after she hit the concrete floor.

He grinned at her "Sam," he sighed teasingly "loose the sir,"

She licked her lips and nodded "yes… Jack," smiling a smile that she so rarely sported, one full of contentment and without any bars holding back the true intensity of the expression.

He raised a hand to cup the side of her face and she leant into the touch, letting it stay there for a moment before she took hold of it in her own, interlocking their fingers, a stupid expression on both their faces. But she didn't care because she wasn't falling any more, she'd made the jump and he'd caught her, and it couldn't have possibly felt more right.

_Author's Notes: Ok-ay that was an odd little chapter, I just kind of… wrote, had no idea where I was going with it and it just happened like that… hmm…_

_Well I've just found out why everyone keeps having a go at me: it's mothers day, which I forgot, and mom's annoyed with me because I a) forgot it, b) don't see the point in it (not a huge fan of Christmas, Birthdays etc. either) and c) something to do with my 'inability to express any form of emotion or accept/initiate physical contact with anyone'. _

_Next Chapter: You'll never guess who's going to be Godparents! Okay you probably can. (No actual christening, more the aftermath of it :S)_


	31. A Nightmare Scenario

_Author's Notes: This chapter was an absolute bitch to write! This was I think the… five draft, each turned out different, each just as bad as the other and I think I hassled Jess far, far too much with this one! Damn Sam and Jack! Love them together – they're a classic – but trying to write them when they can actually be a couple and keep them somewhere in the vicinity of 'in character' (so I'm not great at that with any character in any fandom anyway but that's not the point) is really hard for some reason! I think this is probably set a coupla months after the last chapter._

_The beginning scene… Jess said something to me in Science the other day that got me thinking and that was came out of it, you could say it's a random little scene or you could say it's the night before the christening, it doesn't matter either way as there isn't actually a christening written…_

Chapter 31: A Nightmare Scenario

"She's crying Daniel!" Vala exclaimed "she's crying and I don't know why!"

Despite his ill successful attempts at ignoring the caterwauling in a haze of sleep Vala's frantic tugging at the comforter had him waking, or at least pretending to do so, because, let's face it, who could possibly sleep through the crying that had been going on for what was most definitely less than forever.

Originally he had gotten up, had no qualms about it, but Vala had seemingly felt guilty about the fact she was yet to get up at all that night and had, had been taking the rest he seemed to suddenly needed far more than when he'd spent an entire week off world on less than ten hours sleep during that entire time.

Dragging himself out of bed he yawned and looked at her "what have you-"

"I've fed her, changed her, sang to her, read to her, even played that stupid game that Cameron seems to enjoy that involves him hiding his face with his hands and shouting 'boo' every so often," she exclaimed defeatedly, looking sorely tempted to stamp her foot "I don't know what else to do!"

Ignoring his wife for a moment he turned his full attention to his daughter "hey," he breathed, "what's all the crying for huh?" he tapped her nose gently, the crying quietened but did not stop "come on," he held her to his shoulder and began jiggling her up and down gently "shh… come on Lexy… shh… Daddy's here shh…"

Watching his actions for a moment Vala slipped from the room, standing on the balcony with her arms wrapped around herself in a self-hug gesture she hated to used.

She was a mom already, okay not exactly to 'Little Miss Universe' but still… what about maternal instinct and all that stuff Carolyn had mentioned? Daniel could do it. He could talk to Lexy without a single halt in the monologue, holding one sided conversations as if they were a perfectly normal behaviour. Fairytales and stories from cultures she had never even heard of seemed to come to him as easily as breathing. Lullabies muttered in tongues so beautiful even she fought sleep when she listened too. It all came to him like second nature.

She however… she struggled to find which way a diaper went never mind everything else that came with it.

"Vala?"

Vala turned her head but didn't say anything.

"Is everything okay?"

Biting her tongue as she looked back out over the town she nodded.

Daniel didn't prompt further just stood next to her. The last time had stood out here at this hour he been attempting to escape the inevitably of a family beyond carefully selected friends. "Lexy's asleep," he said after a moment.

Vala nodded, inhaling sharply as hiccup tears threatened to escape.

Daniel looked at her concerned "Vala? What's wrong?" he went to touch her and tried not to look too hurt when she shied away. "Vala?"

She shook her head resolutely but no longer resisted when he turned to look at him, using two fingers beneath her chin he urged her to look at him.

"What's wrong?" he said firmly.

She paused before wrapping her arms around his torso, able to relax somewhat in the warmth he provided "I'm useless as a mother,"

"What?" he tried to ease her back but she refused to budge "no!"

"You're perfect with her," she mumbled "you know exactly what she wants and when she wants it and when I try she just cries even more,"

"I am _not _perfect wit her, trust me on that,"

She didn't respond, or if she did he didn't hear her.

"And as for Lexy… I've got about as much idea of what I'm doing as you have,

"You're better at it than me," she replied petulantly.

"No I'm not. It… it doesn't matter _what _you do. What matters is _how _you do it. The things I do with her work for me but they might not work for you, you do what you feel _right _doing,"

"I love her Daniel," she whispered "I love her more than I ever thought I could love anything,"

"That's all that matters," he spoke with the air of a man who had finally gotten his point across "you could read her the phone book if you wanted but as long as you do it in your own way then that's fine. She'll love you for it no matter what, you're her mother,"

"Adria-" it was out before she even though about it, it was irrational but such a simple word 'mother' had brought it all crashing back to her.

"Is that what this is about?" he pushed her away slightly "Adria?"

She stared at him, his hands were warm against her chilled arms and the rush of cold air against her body where it was no longer pressed against Daniel's was unwelcome. She shook her head then stopped "I know Adria isn't my daughter, not really, and I shouldn't care but I do and I don't know why… having Lexy makes me… sometimes I wonder if there was anything I could have done to save her," in direct contradiction to her opening statement "I'm her mother, I was supposed to protect her-"

"There was nothing you could have done for her Vala. Adria… nothing that happened to her is your fault, nothing she's _done _is your fault. The Ori did that to her. There is _nothing _you could have done,"

"I know that Daniel, at least my head but I can't help but wonder if maybe there was. It's irrational," she laughed wryly "I know that too but it doesn't stop me feeling like this,"

He hugged her again "Adria isn't capable of loving, the way she grew up prevented any chance she might have ever had to learn that."

"Thank you Daniel," she whispered heavily "thank you,"

* * *

"Godparents huh?" Jack said, sipping his beer.

Sam smiled at him "yeah,"

"Supposed to make sure Danny and Vala are bringing her up right?" he gave Daniel a mischievous smile "gotta get yourself a dog Daniel,"

"No,"

"See?" Jack looked at Sam "on the wrong track already,"

Sam rolled her eyes at Jack but smiled at Daniel "thank you,"

"You seemed like the obvious choice," Vala complimented.

"Although I'm having second thoughts about Jack," Daniel gave the older man a pointed look.

"I'm hurt, really," the retired General's sarcasm was tangible.

Vala peered out of the kitchen into the sitting room "what on Earth is Cameron doing?" she asked as the aforementioned Colonel used a plastic jet plane – where it had come from no one knew – to nose dive the bassinet Lexy lay in, engine noises supplied by Mitchell himself.

Lexy reached up for the plummeting plane and Cam brought it up from it's course for collision and in a intricate series of loop-the-loops brought it back on track. A stuffed bear was held on to the edge of the bassinet and the plane headed straight for it "mayday! Mayday!" Mitchell cried in a mock serious voice as the jet crashed into the waiting paw of the bear "we're down! We're down, the giant Mr. Cuddles of… Bear-dom has got us, this is Colonel – ahh!" he made a noise like static before the jet dropped to the floor.

Sam bit her tongue to stop herself from laughing as she, Jack and Daniel also looked out of the kitchen to see what Vala was staring at.

Cam picked up another stuffed toy – the rabbit Teal'c had given at the 'baby-shower' – and it jumped up next to the bear with a flourish "never fear! Curtis is here!" he declared.

"Curtis?" Vala exclaimed, Daniel covered her mouth with his hand and she was cut off.

Mitchell remained oblivious "Curtis?" 'Mr. Cuddles' scoffed in a gruff voice "I will defeat you!" with that the bear 'launched' itself at the rabbit and a rather exaggerated scuffle took place in mid air.

It was several moments before the bear fell to the floor with a soft 'thump' and 'Curtis' climbed back up to the bassinet, Cam panting on his part "I have saved you Princess Lexy, from the evil Mr. Cuddles! Let him never again darken your…" Cam frowned "he won't be back!" he finished.

'Mr. Cuddles' then started to 'climb' back up also, with seeming more difficulty than 'Curtis' "you have not defeated me! Ha! Foolish rabbit!"

"Mitchell," Jack called as the bear and the rabbit once more began to wrestle furiously "who are you trying to amuse? Yourself or the kid?"

Sam could have sworn Cam blushed then, putting the bear and the rabbit down as discreetly as possible.

Daniel couldn't help but smirk as Mitchell got to his feet "what have you got against stuffed bears anyway?"

* * *

The chatter that had filled the house not two hours ago was long gone and Vala flicked on the stereo as she walked passed it.

The black bag Jack had in his hand was slowly being filled by both himself and Sam as they collected used paper plates, the remnants of streamers and the odd popped balloon. For a group of Air Force Personnel they sure didn't know how to tidy up after themselves – Sam was sure her kindergarten class had made less mess during Art class.

Vala hummed and moved to the music that was too quite to hear the lyrics but the beat was evidently something that appealed to the brunette as she span around in the door way to the kitchen, kissed Daniel briefly and continued towards the sink, coffee mugs in hand.

Jack threw a handful of for some reason half-shredded streamers at Sam and as she tried to brush them out he threw the last beer bottle into the bag and tied it up.

"Do you need a lift?" he turned to Sam.

"That'd be nice, thanks,"

It wasn't easy. But then again she had never been under the illusion that it would be. Nothing anyone really wanted ever was. However she wasn't sure if it was her that was part of the problem.

She and Jack had been dodging around each other, each walking supposedly straight lines that would never cross, except every so often in the ten years they had known each other they would slip off their respective 'tightropes' and end up doing or saying something that only confused them even more. Now they were actually allowed to say what the felt _and _act upon it… the phrase 'too good to be true' came to mind.

"Hey Daniel!" Jack called, gracious enough to mutter 'sorry' as Vala came into the sitting room, glowering at him and gesturing down the hall.

"Yeah?" Daniel emerged from the balcony, two glasses and a plate in hand.

"We're off now."

"Is that all right?" Sam asked as Vala disappeared back into the kitchen for a brief moment before returning, two napkin wrapped parcels in her hands.

"That's fine," he assured her "you've helped enough already."

"Cake?" Jack took one of the parcels from Vala.

"Cake," Vala grinned at him as he took Sam's also when she went to get her coat.

"Cake is good," he returned her smile "Sam, you ready?"

"Yes sir," she said on reflex, mock grimacing as he caught her on it but not bothering to correct herself.

"See you later then," he said to Daniel as he returned Vala's hug with one arm.

"Bye," Sam said as Jack held the door open for her and they both left.

"Are they…?" Vala turned to Daniel, who gave a small smile and proceeded to the kitchen with the items in his hands, when he didn't answer he she followed, demanding an answer "Daniel? Daniel…!"

* * *

"So…" he felt like a teenager again; standing on the front porch unable to take his eyes of the girl… it was familiar but none the less uncomfortable.

"So…" she held the keys clenched in her palm, self conscious and resisting the urge to shift her weight from foot to foot.

Three months, they'd been 'together' for three months and it still felt so unbelievable it was unnerving. They had some how, managed to, not avoid, but had been unable to spend very much time alone together in that time. She knew she was unsure of where to step, what boundaries she could cross and which lines still stayed firmly drawn in the sand.

"I.. uh… I'll see you tomorrow then?"

She nodded "thanks for the lift,"

"No problem," this was ridiculous! He wasn't shy or nervous and sure as hell wasn't hesitant when it came to women, he was forward as you liked, flirted occasionally even though he knew he had probably seen better days, he was still him, and for as long as he was able to walk, talk and breath he would seize every moment… but if that was the case then why wasn't he seizing this one?

Opening his mouth to say something he closed it again when he could think of nothing suitable to say and headed back towards the road.

"Jack," she said, not giving any thought to what she said next, speaking completely off a whim "do… do you want to come in?"

He grinned at her and she couldn't stop herself from smiling back.

_Author's Notes: That ending… I know it was short but I think it was more supposed to symbolise a kind of 'break through' if you like with their status with each other rather than the actually doing anything… that doesn't make sense… oh well._

_I think that chapter title came more from my inability to write it than from anything that actually happened._

_Next Chapter: Sibling rivalries come into play…_


	32. Primary Defence

_Author's Notes: I finally managed to get most of my SG1 fictions on FanLib! As well as having written two more SG1 one-shots: 'Simple Recon' and 'Twenty One – Forty Five' XD._

_My mom and sister want me to have 'spacemonkey' written on my school leavers t-shirt because we have the option of a name being written on them… I don't even know if we're allowed nicknames on there, never mind whether or not I want to walk around with 'spacemonkey' written on my back for the day! lol... what'd ya think? lol._

_Weird little, or not so little, chapter here..._

Chapter 32: Primary Defence

Jack shifted, not yet fully awake and refusing to fully accept the imminence of morning. When he did, his eyes flickered open despite their previous protest and he found his sight filled with the same blonde hair that was tickling his lips. Smiling to himself he stayed where he was and glanced at the alarm clock; awake before it for once. His eyes slid closed again but it was quite literally only minutes before the piercing screech of the appliance broke through the morning solitude.

Half easing himself out from beneath her he leaned across to her side of the bed and flicked the off switch just as she made a sleepy noise of protest at the noise and slowly floated into consciousness. He didn't let her fully wake before he slid back beneath the covers and kissed her awake.

"Mmm… what was that for?" despite the frown that creased her features she blinked the sleep from her eyes a tiny smile graced her lips.

"Morning," he replied, brushing her hair away from her eyes.

"Work," she answered, an odd sense of reluctance in her voice.

"Call in sick?" he suggested mischievously as she sat up, a sheet clutched to her chest.

Sam just gave him a look and shook her head, tucking her hair behind her ears with one hand before wrapping the sheet more firmly around her body and getting to her feet. She could feel Jack's eyes on her as she got out some clean clothes and underwear, just as she was going to go into the shower she turned and frowned at him "what?"

He shook his head and smiled, in response she shook her head back and closed the door.

* * *

"Unauthorised off-world activation!" Walter's voice echoed down the halls, alarms sounding. 

Landry made his way into the control room, and the sergeant looked over his shoulder briefly when he entered.

"Anyone we know?"

"Uh… P3R 636," Walter looked a the screen in front of him.

"Shyla," Daniel informed them as he came in, "open the iris," it was posed half as a statement, half as a question and with Landry's confirmation Walter did as he was asked.

"Daniel," the woman gave a breathy sigh of relief, her image flickering to life on the screen, the pretty young woman frowned after a moment of silence "you said it was permitted for me to contact you,"

"It's fine, we just…" he glanced back as Sam and Teal'c entered the control room as well "we weren't expecting anything. Is everything all right?"

"A man came through the great circle, he spoke of the Gods."

"The Goau'ld?" Sam asked.

Shyla shook her head "the Ori," she continued when no one spoke "he claimed he was a Prior, he said he will return to hear our decision."

"Did he say when?" Vala queried, looking up at the monitors carefully.

"Not for a few days." Shyla assured her then turned her gaze back to Daniel "the Prior said that the Ori are powerful Gods, that we would do well to follow the path of Origin."

"The Ori are not Gods," Cam said, stepping forward, his voice stern and his expression unreadable.

Shyla looked at him "the Prior healed all the sick in the villages, men who could not walk are able to work… my people… how do I tell my people that they are not Gods when the bestow such gifts upon their followers?"

"Yeah, it's all fun and games until someone looses an eye," Cam muttered to himself.

Vala gave him a funny look.

"Will you come Daniel? Will you help me?"

Daniel nodded "of course,"

"Thank you Daniel!" she exclaimed, a bright smile covering her face, the transmission ended not a few seconds later.

"Isn't that the chick that got you all…" Cam waved his hands around his head "on a sarcophagus Jackson?"

Daniel raised an eyebrow at him and opened his mouth to say something to Landry but was cut off when the General spoke.

"You leave in an hour."

* * *

"Are you sure?" Daniel asked for what felt like the millionth time as Carolyn squeezed Vala's hand encouragingly and retreated back to tend to another patient. 

"I'm certain Daniel." She smiled and jumped to her feet "one day. I need to do this."

"The Priors-"

"Are not going to be on that planet for several days yet. They won't hurt me anyway, Adria wants me alive." Vala exited the infirmary, Daniel on her heels "Doctor Lam has cleared me for active duty,"

"You don't have to go on this mission. There'll be others…"

She turned to face him with a sigh, "if I asked you not to go would you?"

He swallowed, unable to truthfully answer that question. He would have liked to say yes, he'd stay behind but he also knew that being grounded made him listless and uncomfortable if it were for any length of time. And for someone like Vala who had lived off the thrill of adventure for who knows how many years it must be torture; she'd been Earth side for nearly a year now.

"I need to do this. Lexy is with Jack, we won't be gone long," there was a sense of trepidation in her voice and he could see the hesitancy in her eyes about leaving her daughter behind, he didn't get chance to call her on it as she slipped into the women's locker room without another word.

* * *

Jack looked down into the 'gate room, lifting Lexy up to look through the glass he couldn't help but grin at the expression on her face as the Kawoosh rushed out of the Stargate before the wormhole formed and the flickering blue puddle lit up the room. She gurgled happily and clenched and unclenched tiny fists, waving them around and kicking her feet gently as her mother raised a hand and smiled up at them from the bottom of the ramp. 

"You like the 'gate do you?" he whispered, glaring at Walter who seemed to be smirking under his breath at him, the sergeant muttered what sounded like 'sorry sir' before checking something on the dialling sequence that obviously didn't exist, "now." He shifted his hold on the baby so he held her more securely to his chest "how does pizza and a movie sound to you?" Lexy fixed wide blue eyes on him "okay, maybe you should bypass the pizza, but I think Uncle Jack can find a movie we'll both enjoy…"

* * *

"You don't have to do this you know," Daniel whispered in Vala's ear as he watched her waving at Lexy. 

Vala shook her head and turned to face the 'gate with a deep breath "yes I do."

"You two ready?" Mitchell called back without looking at them.

"Yes." Vala answered immediately.

"Good luck SG1." Landry said.

Cam nodded in his direction before turning back and walking up the 'gate ramp, his team following him, even after his original… dislike? Distrust? It had been any number of things he had held against the newest member of the infamous team had long since disappeared as he found himself feeling insanely happy that once again he was going on a mission with a full team rather than only four fifths of it.

The 'gate had barely even shut down before Shyla hurried up to them. Her golden robe glistening in the sun that shone brightly above them. Her dark hair was swept up in a regal fashion and most of it held in a complex series of twists and plaits at the crown of her head whilst free curls hung around her shoulders, bouncing when she moved.

"Daniel!" she exclaimed, her hands clasped in front of her "it is good to see you again."

Daniel nodded "Shyla, this is Colonel Mitchell and Vala," he gestured to the new team members since their last visit and Shyla nodded.

"Colonel O'Neill?" she inquired when she saw he was not in their company.

"General," Sam corrected "General O'Neill is retired."

Concern laced her features "he is well?"

"He's fine." Sam smiled politely at her, no matter what bridges they had attempted to mend after their last visit to P3R 636 she still felt uneasy there.

"So…" Cam said "what is it you need?"

Shyla turned back towards the main village and began leading them down a path towards the palace, "the Ori… they seem like good people. After my father passed it has been… difficult…" she did not elaborate "I need to do what is best for my people. The Ori seem to be exactly that."

"They are _not _good people." Vala skipped a step to catch up with her "you have to trust us on that."

"She's right you know." Mitchell added, cursing as his boot caught on a stone protruding from the path, he glared playfully at Sam when she bit her tongue and looked away to stop from laughing at him.

Suddenly Shyla turned "if Daniel believes them to be evil Gods then I will to, believe so. However my people would not be so easily swayed."

Daniel looked out across the landscape, the remains of what used to be a slave laboured naquada mine still there but slowly being cleared, the mine was still obviously in use but not in the same way as before. It had taken work to get Shyla to stop the labor her father had forced upon his people but it had paid off.

The villagers seemed to be much happier than before and that was obvious even from just a glance; the very fact that villages stood proudly where there had once been nothing but rocky, uneven land and the people that lived there were smiling and their laughter accompanying the bird song that was piercing the cool air was a good enough indicator.

"Queen!" there was a cry as the diverged of the path to the palace and headed towards one of the villagers "the Queen is walking among us!"

SG1 watched in half surprise as people milled from the houses and flooded into the town square as Shyla approached, despite her regal stature the young woman did not seem to be fully comfortable with the attention being given to her, however she lifted the hem of her dress so as to step up onto the platform the people had gathered around and smiled serenely at them all, "these people have come through the great circle to tell us of the Ori," she announced, any plans she had for her speech were cut off when Cam started up.

"The Ori are not who you think they are."

A wave of whispers rushed across the square before one man spoke out "they have great power, the Prior healed my brother after an accident in the mine. He canwork again. How is that not the work of Gods?" despite his words it was obvious the man's loyalties were yet to be decided.

Cam shared a look with Daniel and Sam who were both about to say something when Vala continued, "they seem like Gods but they are not. You think it's a simple case of choosing to follow them or not? The Priors have wiped out entire _planets _because they refused to follow Origin."

The whispering started again.

"They burn what they call 'non believers' alive." Vala's voice might have shaken half way through her sentence, but it was impossible to be certain given the determination that burned both in her eyes and her expression.

"The Ori are no better than the Goau'ld," Shyla interrupted the chatter that was slowly getting louder and louder at the new comers sudden arrival and announcements "they will enslave us once more."

The words seemed to have some sort of extreme effect on the villagers as there was a roar that sounded like a battle cry but given the expression on Shyla's face it was something far better than that.

"You've finally managed to get you're freedom. You've got jobs and families, homes and you don't have guards watching your every move," Daniel pitched "do you want to give that up?"

Heads shook slowly and the man that had spoken before interrupted before Daniel could continue "the Prior will return. If what you say is correct we do not have a choice. We either follow the path or we die."

"Unless you stand up to them the Ori will rule this galaxy. The only people left will be those who-"

"The Ori claim to be our Ancestors." Another man stated, his face stoic.

"They're not," was Cam's only rebuttal of the claim.

"We must go," Shyla said abruptly, stepping off the platform and moving through the throng of chattering villagers.

"What? Why?" Sam called after her as the team followed her, albeit with little choice and even less enthusiasm.

Shyla stopped and looked up.

"That is so _not_ good," Cam said as he caught sight of what she was gesturing at.

"I thought you said they weren't going to return for _days," _Vala snapped as they quickened their pace to try and keep out of sight of the Ori mothership that had just entered orbit.

"They said they were not," Shyla sounded panicked, ushering them into an empty building, "you must stay in here." She said "the palace is too far else I would take you there. You will be safe here."

"We're not just going to sit here-"

"Colonel Mitchell you _must_."

"Shyla," Vala caught her arm as she went to leave and the other woman whirled back around "we can help,"

* * *

"We can't just sit here," Vala said after Shyla had left, an apologetic expression on her face. 

"She's right." Daniel agreed "there has to be someway we can help them."

"If we'd known earlier we could have evacuated them, now… we've just got hope what we said got through to them."

Vala paced the room, running her hands through her hair, her breaths short and sharp as she made a noise of frustration.

"Allowing the Prior's to know of our presence here would not be at all conducive towards this mission." Teal'c said calmly.

Vala ignored him.

* * *

"Have you reached a decision?" the Prior asked slowly, staring ahead in his usual unfocused manner and his staff clutched in one dusty white hand. 

"We have," Shyla stepped forwards, her head bowed politely for a moment before she looked up when she felt the Prior turn his head in her general direction, "we-"

"Prior!" an Ori warrior hurried forwards, immediately dropping to his knees in front of the robed man "the Orisi's mother and her friends are here," he didn't explain how he knew and the Prior did not seem to care.

"Bring them to the Orisi," with that the Prior turned away from the villagers and walked away.

* * *

"How long has it been?" Daniel asked, resting his head against the wall lazily. 

"Thirteen minutes," Cam glanced at his watch and shifted slightly, jumping and slipping the safety of his P-90 when the door opened.

The woman who had opened the door had a fearful expression on her face and her eyes darted back and forth with alarming insistence. In one fluid movement she had been thrown forwards and three Ori soldiers entered, weapons raised.

"To your feet," one commanded.

Slowly the team did as they had been asked.

"You know, you really don't have to point that thing at us," Cam gestured towards the weapon aimed at his chest.

"Silence!" the second soldier ordered, jabbing the aforementioned weapon forwards viciously.

Cam nodded discreetly at Sam and Teal'c and all three opened fire, the young woman who had been thrown the floor curled into a foetal position as the soldier's fell the floor and the gun fire ended.

"Are you all right?" Daniel crouched next to her, touching her arm and helping her sit up.

"I did not lead them here," she said in earnest "I did not."

"We believe you." Cam assured her off handedly "so what now?"

"We should be careful if we are to return to the village." Teal'c intoned "the Prior there may well be expecting us."

* * *

"Okay," Cam whispered, "looks like the Prior's gone for now. Jackson, you and Teal'c-" 

"What are you doing?" Shyla hissed, ducking into their hiding spot being one of the houses "the Prior ordered you be taken to the Orisi!"

"What did you tell him?" Daniel asked, cutting off her reprimands.

"That we will not accept the path," she stated "he left after ordering that you all be brought to the Orisi."

Vala half listened to the following conversation, nodding when they told her to stay where she was as they moved towards the celebrating villagers. Her interests not entirely focussed, her mind wandering to the fate that would befall these people now that they had refused to follow Origin.

Her stomach twisted yet again at the knowledge that she had played a part in the spread of the strict religion. No matter how many times she thought it through and it always came back to hers and Daniel's adventure into the Ori galaxy and every time she found that if she couldn't blame Daniel for that then she could hardly blame herself because it didn't make sense.

It took a moment for it to register as she saw Adria walking slowly along a pathway, guards posted around her, their armour clanking with every step they made. The people here were going to die if she didn't do something. With a quick glance at her friends she slipped away unnoticed.

* * *

"They refused to follow the path of Origin, Orisi," the Prior bowed his head as Adria came to a halt in front of him. 

Adria looked at him as if he were entirely stupid "then burn it," she snapped with an air of extreme impatience, "leave my mother unharmed, do with the others as you wish,"

"Wait!"

The Prior paused when Adria held up a hand to stop him, a smile gracing her lips as she saw Vala running towards them, coming to a stop a few feet away, leaning forwards onto her knees as she panted for breath.

"Mother," Adria greeted softly, walking up to her and resting a gentle hand on her shoulder, helping her to stand straight again "you know I have no choice,"

Vala shook her head, staring at Adria unfocusedly. She wouldn't watch these people die, she refused to play a part in that again.

Suddenly Adria's eyes narrowed "you are wed again?" she sounded as if she thought she had been betrayed by the fact "how could you? And a child? Mother, the Ori will not be pleased that have taken another husband amongst the unbelievers. They must be purged."

"You won't touch them," she said, her voice shaking and her head spinning at the very idea of what she was about to have to do.

Adria reached forward and brushed a lock of Vala's hair flat, tucking it behind her ear "they are unbelievers mother, they are evil."

"Don't touch them,"

"Mother…" she soothed.

"Adria, as your mother I am _telling _you not to touch Daniel _or_ Lexy," her chest felt tight and the urge to run was almost overwhelming but she stood her ground.

"Orisi?" The Prior spoke hesitantly, nervous at interrupting the duo.

"Why are you still here?" she snapped.

The Prior nodded and started to walk away again.

"No!"

"Mother-" the tone of voice one that Vala was sure a mother should use on her child not the other way around.

"If I go with you, will you leave them? My friends as well?" How could she be doing this? It didn't even sound like her own voice except it was, all of this, she had no choice, but did she? At least with Adria she could have a better chance at ensuring that Daniel and Lexy, the others, they stayed _safe_. That they wouldn't be… she daren't even think it.

Adria smiled and without taking her eyes off of her mother spoke to the Prior "leave them,"

"Orisi?"

"Take my mother to the ship," her smile broadened, her dress sparkling momentarily when some of the elaborate embroidery caught the sun's glare.

"Adria," Vala said her daughter's name, the question posed in her eyes.

"You have my word," she said as two of the warriors accompanied the Prior in taking Vala to the ship.

As soon as they were aboard one of the remaining warriors looked at Adria and opened his mouth to ask her something when he was cut off "well? What're you waiting for? Burn it," With that she turned and walked away.

* * *

Vala looked through the window, eyes widening in horror as the houses, with their thatched roofs were set alight, the screams were, of course, not audible from this height but she could imagine them. As Adria entered the room she turned on her "you promised! 

"Oh mother, don't be like that. You and I both know I had no choice."

"Let me go back," she demanded, standing toe-to-toe with the Orisi.

"I'm afraid that isn't going to happen,"

"I came up here so as to save their lives! Now to me that looks a lot like a burning village."

Adria just smiled at her and left without a word, the doors closed of their own accord behind her, leaving Vala powerless to stop what was going on, on the planet's surface.

* * *

The fires spread fast, and as soon as the first house caught completely alight, the desperate pleas of the team with the villagers were no longer needed and they were met with hoards of panicking people. 

"Let's get everybody to the 'gate!" Cam hollered over the screaming "everybody go, just follow me, come on!" letting loose fire on a soldier as he set fire to yet another building he called out again "come on!"

* * *

Sam watched as the villagers flooded through the 'gate like ants on a summer picnic, looking up when Daniel jogged up to her. 

"Have you seen Vala?"

Sam shook her head, opening her mouth to speak before Teal'c grabbed both their vests and threw them into the event horizon with him, holding them down onto the ramp on the other side as stray fire whistled through after them, blowing a sizeable hole into the opposing wall before he hoisted them up again and all three of them dodged aside as Cam came through backwards, firing once or twice for what seemed like good measure as he called out for them to close the iris.

"That was more than the usual burn and barbecue," Cam said, unzipping his vest as he turned around to face the teeming 'gate room "do they usually open fire on us like that?"

No one bothered to answer his question.

"Colonels?" Landry asked over the radio giving the chattering villagers a once over, his eyes fixing on Shyla, picking her face out in the crowd before he looked back at Sam and Mitchell.

"Shyla's Intel was a little…" Sam began.

"Off." Cam finished her sentence for her.

"Where's Vala?" Daniel asked again, scanning the room and not seeing her, he glanced down when he felt a tugging at his pant leg.

"Mister," the boy couldn't have been more than five years old, his hair the colour of straw and his eyes brilliant blue "are you talking about the dark haired lady that was with you?"

Daniel crouched down to the child's height "yes, have you seen her?"

The boy nodded, twisting his hands together "she went with the pretty lady in the big ship."

_Author's Notes: I had a few lines intended to continue after that but saw how long the chapter was (11 pages!) and decided there was a good place to end anyway:)_

_Next Chapter: Daniel is left feeling helpless when Landry refuses him access back to the planet, and Adria is less than pleased with the news that her mother has forged another life for herself amongst the 'non believers'._


	33. Band Aids for Bullet Holes

_Author's Notes: This is an 'inserted chapter' as I found that although I had planned it in my head everything would be rushed without it, so I've edited the 'next chapter' at the end of the 'Primary Defence'. I'm getting sick of saying 'this chapter's a little odd' so let's just settle with the fact that all the chapters are strange and leave it at that._

Chapter 33: Band Aids for Bullet Holes

"We have to go back!" Daniel said after the momentary silence that the boys words preceded, the only sounds had been the rustle of fabric and the echo of someone stepping from foot to foot before they realised they were the cause of the disturbance.

"Daniel…" Sam started.

"Redial the planet,"

"I can't authorise that Doctor Jackson," Landry's voice came over the radio, every pair of eyes in the room was fixed either on him or Daniel, depending on who they thought would speak next.

"Redial P3R 636," he repeated, as if he hadn't heard the underlying order in the General's words.

"Look Jackson-"

"No," his head whipped round to look at Cam, the glare that the Colonel found fixed on him was enough for him to step back, hands raised in surrender "no," he turned back to Landry, seemingly ignorant of his audience "I have to go back,"

"Daniel Jackson," even Teal'c sounded pained "it is most unlikely that the ship on which Vala Maldoran is, is still in orbit above the planet."

Daniel looked at the jaffa, he didn't say anything, the pain in his expression was obvious and it was all Sam could do not to go up and hug him.

Before Nanith and Akhiyaa – had it really been that long ago? – he and Vala had been nigh on inseparable, whether they had realised it or not, wherever one went the other was not likely to be far behind, an invisible force linking them. The months during which both had been attempting to cope with the situation that had been thrust upon them with no warning before they, more specifically Daniel, had come to the inevitable conclusion that the best way to work through the issues was to do so together had been painful to watch. Now Sam found herself looking at only half of a whole.

It took her a moment to register that the tides of refugees had parted and he had left the 'gate room, leaving a stiff silence and an airmen clutching his discarded P-90 behind him, only Landry's declaration of "debrief in an hour" dared try and break it.

* * *

Vala had… why? What the hell had she been thinking? She shouldn't have gone off world. No, he had no right to make that decision for her, and it was wrong even to think that he might have. But she… God what had she done?

She'd left them. She'd left _him._ She'd left him and Lexy for _Adria_. Orisi, preacher of Origin, princess of so-called-Gods and spoilt little brat with a universe at her feet that she had absolutely _no_ qualms about taking. There was no way Vala would have gone through of her own choice.

Which left the only other possible solution which was that she had been kidnapped, but if she had surely she would have tried to raise them on the radio… but maybe she couldn't. Maybe they'd grabbed her from behind… no Vala was not one to go quietly, even if she'd been restrained she would have spoken, possibly screamed… called for help.

None of it was making sense, the fact that she was gone was the only thing that was registering in a sea of thoughts whirling round his head at ninety miles an hour. He was shaking but he was certain that was just the sheer effort it was taking to pull cognitive thought out of thin air, or maybe it was shock. He didn't know.

* * *

"Adria!" she screamed again, her throat was beginning to feel like dry cotton without the amount of yelling she had done since leaving orbit of P3R… whatever it was "Adria!"

The doors swung open with an audible 'swish' and the Orisi came sweeping in, her dress was different to the one she had been wearing when she had been stupid enough to think her fanatical daughter would actually keep her end of the deal.

"Mother," she sighed exasperatedly "please do not shout, it serves little purpose,"

Vala scrambled to her feet, having sat on the floor when her legs had started to ache from the pacing she had taken to doing when watching through the window had become tiresome "let me home Adria,"

Adria smiled a sickly smile "I don't think so,"

"You didn't keep your end of the bargain!" okay, so she hadn't exactly been the galaxy's most truthful person but that had been a long time ago "I have to-"

"You have to do nothing mother." Adria's eyes narrowed "accept the path and they won't matter any more," she spoke with reference to Daniel and Lexy, a sadistic gleam flickering to life in her pseudo-warm expression.

Vala knew what her daughter was doing, knew that she had made it obvious and couldn't have been more up front about her weaknesses, her blatant downfalls but there was nothing she could do about that now, besides, if Adria knew that she had remarried and had another child then there was nothing stopping her from figuring the rest out either. It didn't stop the spike of fear hit her chest, they _would_ matter. They would _always _matter, she would pay no heed to her first born, or any believes that would be forced upon her. She had done this _because _of them, there was no way she was going to forget that. Not now, not ever.

"The Ori are willing to bestow the gift of forgiveness." She walked over to the window, her floor length dress shimmered in the lights and floated around her figure in an almost ethereal manner.

"For what?" she exclaimed incredulous "not following their stupid path? Well I'm sorry that's never going to-"

Adria turned to face her sharply "for marrying a non believer, for having a child with him."

"I don't need forgiveness for that."

"Oh mother," she sighed, her tone earnest "they are our enemies, evil. They must be-"

"Adria," she snapped "shut up,"

* * *

Lexy was warm and soft, a light weight in his arms that curled into his chest and slept on with only the tiniest of noises should he move. The briefing room chairs were comfortable enough, although it was incredibly hard to sit still when the urge to start yelling at the stubbornness of both General Landry and the President, who had agreed whole heartedly with the General regarding his decision to not send any SG teams back through to P3R 636 until they were certain there was not an ambush waiting for them.

Sam and Mitchell got to their feet when Landry entered the room and retook their seats when he nodded his ascent and sat down at the head of table.

"What happened out there?" he asked with a weary sigh, his expression that of a very tired man with a waning patience that he was adamant to keep.

"We were attacked sir." Cam reported, his eyes darting away for a second when his CO fixed him with a very terse glare.

"Sir, whilst we were talking to Shyla's people an Ori ship came into orbit above the planet-"

"They knew you were there?" if the Ori were able to track SG1's activities then things had just gone from bad, to very bad, to down right awful in the space of oh… four hours.

"I don't think so sir." Sam shook her head.

Landry nodded, comforted, even if only marginally by that piece of information.

"Shyla took us to a house and told us to hide. With the Ori soldiers already on the planet we thought it would be best for us to stay out of sight."

"Three of the warriors found us-"

"They were quickly disposed of," Teal'c added, Sam was unsure whether a sadistic little smile was playing across his lips or not, if it did it was only for a brief second before his usual stoic expression regained possession of his face.

"Vala stayed on the outskirts of the village to watch our six. Then the village was set on fire and it all just…" Cam trailed off, he was not one to ignore his mistakes, nor really cover them up but admitting that he had left a man, or in this case woman, behind was tearing at his conscience like he knew it should but too much to be able to actually concentrate on it long enough to admit that he hadn't known if she'd gone through the 'gate before him.

But he'd gone through anyway even if she was his… no she wasn't anyone's responsibility, except maybe Jackson's but she _was _his wife… she was _his_ friend, _his_ team mate, and _his_ comrade and he _failed_ her. That was more than enough to play games with his head.

"We have to go back," he knew rationally why it was impossible, and unfair to ask people to risk their lives which is why he would go, alone if necessary, but he couldn't think rationally.

Logistics didn't matter, facts were as useless as sitting in the briefing room discussing what had transpired in the time before Vala had gone and done whatever it was she had done, and anything other than trying to calm the frantic hammering of his heart and the persistent state of vertigo he felt he was in was insane.

"Doctor Jackson, I can't send a team through the 'gate knowing they could be walking into a trap."

He looked up from Lexy, from whose face his eyes hadn't moved from since he had sat down "then I'll go," he answered simply, "even if the ship isn't there, there has to be something to indicate where they've gone. A sign-"

"Daniel that's impossible, there's no way to trace them, they'll have jumped into hyperspace as soon as they were clear of the planet, they could be anywhere by now," Sam said quietly, what she had said had been necessary but it didn't make it any easier.

"There has to be!"

Lexy stirred but didn't wake at the sudden increase in volume.

There wasn't a way, of course there wasn't. Sam was right. But the nausea was crashing down on him in great waves and the fist around his chest was tightening with every breath he took. He'd left her behind and the guilt was a monster that was looming over his shoulder even now. Even after she had only been gone just over an hour. Funny how that hour felt like a lifetime. How the sinking feeling of defeat was sending his stomach plummeting as the helplessness set in.

"Daniel…"

"There has to be something we can do." Cam said, glancing at Daniel but addressing an open floor.

"Judging from where the Supergate is in comparison to the position of P3R 636 I can plot a possible route for the ship. But there's no way to know if they are heading back to the Ori galaxy, although with Vala with them it is more likely that Adria is going to want her as far away from us as possible so as to prevent a rescue."

"Not guaranteed though?" Cam prompted.

Sam shook her head "I'm sorry."

"That's fine Colonel-"

"Not good enough," Daniel's voice was barely a whisper and he seemed to be addressing the table.

"It's the best we can do Doctor Jackson-"

Daniel lifted his gaze and shook his head "I _need _to go back there. I have to see… to check. Maybe… maybe the kid was wrong, maybe she didn't go with them, maybe…" he trailed off for a moment, his eyes widening "maybe she's still on the planet-"

"She's got her own GDO." Cam pointed out "she would have been able to dial in by now,"

"Not if she's injured." Daniel snapped back.

Sam opened her mouth to say something but when she found she was at a loss for words she stopped again.

"I _have _to go." He repeated.

"Doctor Jackson." Landry got to his feet, his usual well kept temper slowly being lost "I am not going to allow you or anybody else under my command back to that planet for the next twelve hours. After that we send a MALP through to determine the situation and then I'll _consider_ sending a team through," with that he turned back towards his office.

"She could be dead by then!" God, he was shouting now, Lexy woke and her cries pierced the room with a shrill wail, he got to his feet, seemingly ignorant that his daughter was screaming loud enough for his raised voice to have reasonable excuse.

General Landry turned, wincing at the wailing infant "Vala is a valuable member of this facility. She's a member of your team, and she's your wife, I understand that," he placated "I do. However, I refuse to send men and women senselessly to their deaths-"

"Vala wouldn't want people to die to save her." Sam whispered "if she went with Adria of her own accord she must have believed it to be for a good reason, and that reason is most likely to save lives not risk them-"

"That's not the point!" he wasn't making sense, _this _wasn't making sense, none of it.

He'd raised his voice at the General, at Sam, a blaze of fear induced fury was glassing everything over. That was the thing about Vala. No matter what she made him feel, every day it was something new, something ten times more intense than the day before and everyday he swore he wouldn't let it catch him off guard, so far he'd managed to keep some sense of control, at least since the car accident… he refused to think about that right now. But today, now, now it was taking over everything and he had no control over it, and the stupid thing was that he couldn't bring himself to care that he was shouting at his boss, his friends. He couldn't care about any of it. At the moment all colour was gone, everything was in black and white, no shades of grey. Saving Vala was white, everything else? Everything else was black.

"Do you want me too-" Cam offered, cringing and gesturing at the still crying Lexy, her little face was screwed up and red, her cheeks wet with tears that shone in the artificial lighting.

"No," he snapped, shifting his hold on his daughter so she sat on his arm, her head against his shoulder as he hugged her tighter, the very thought of letting someone else take her made him sure he would collapse "don't touch her,"

"Doctor Jackson," Landry's voice was dangerously low and he had to strain to hear it "I suggest you calm down, maybe go home and spend some time with Lexy. There's nothing you can do at the moment."

He wasn't sure if it was because subconsciously he heard the order in the General's voice, even if he did there was no reason for him to follow it necessarily or if it was for fear of what he could say or do next. The briefing had lasted less than ten minutes and he was more furious than he had ever let anyone see. He left the briefing room in a haze of confusion that he would not accept but he did not head for the surface; his office was closer.

* * *

"Ow," she hissed under her breath as she pushed herself to her feet.

"I did warn you mother," Adria said.

"You're well overdue for a time out," Vala muttered, shaking her hair from her face as she tried to recover from being telekinetically thrown into the wall.

"I do not understand you mother."

"Well, I hear I can be a rather complicated person…"

"You were already wed and yet you seek out another husband? And Doctor Jackson? I certainly can see the attraction-"

"Oh…" she wasn't sure how to continue that sentence, there was just something inherently _wrong _with being sexually attracted to your step-father she was certain of it.

"But you and he… I knew you were attracted to _him_ but I never imagined that the feelings would be reciprocated."

That should have stung, and on some level she guessed it did but no where near as intensely as she would have once thought it would.

"Lexy…" she breathed "if you tell me where she is mother, if you allow me to get her we can raise her together, she can learn the path and be forgiven…"

"Forgiven? Forgiven for what? Adria she's not even six months old!" she found herself laughing, why, she did not know because nothing about her current predicament was amusing.

Adria's eyes narrowed again.

"You wouldn't get anywhere near her," she continued.

"You will let me have her," Adria said simply, with the air of someone who did not think anyone would dare argue with them.

"No," invisible hands clutched at her throat, grasping them in an iron grip and even when her own hands flew to pull the telekinetic fingers away, it did not falter.

"She's my family mother," she appeared unfazed.

"Even if…" even though her attempts were fruitless her hands still scrabbled for a hold on her 'attacker', "if I said yes… you wouldn't get anywhere near her."

Adria just smirked and released her.

"What do you want her for?" she rubbed absently at her throat, panting slightly for breath.

The question seemed to anger the Orisi and for the first time Vala saw an expression other than vague indifference and cold hearted passion on her face.

* * *

"Shh…" the sound had become a mantra that fell from his lips so easy he was hardly aware that he was the one making it in the first place "shh…"

In his head he knew shouting at Landry had been wrong, at Sam and Mitchell… all they wanted to do was get her back as well. Of course there were rules, regulations and protocols to follow; he knew that, knew them backwards, forwards, upside down and even knew how Hammond had 'modified' some especially given Jack's tendency to find some loophole when it came to any of his team members being in jeopardy; they all did it.

Logistics said to wait, to not risk anyone else.

_She wouldn't want that._

He almost choked on that phrase, words like that were spoken when all hope was lost, the subject beyond all saving and used in a last ditch attempt to get the mourners to not give up on life so easily. It was stupid to think that his heart had any say, it sounded… fairytale, clichéd, inappropriate and like it was from one of those cheesy chick flicks that Vala had ended up watching for several weeks during her pregnancy; the amount of times he had woken to an empty bed only to find her sobbing over some crappy love story filmed before colour television had been invented was a number long forgotten.

None of it made sense, why she had gone, why he was doing what he was doing… no _that,_ that made sense, even when everything else didn't, what he was feeling was something he could understand even when the physical responses burst forth at impromptu times and _didn't _make sense, over all the intensity of what he currently felt like he was drowning made sense. Even if only to him.

* * *

Landry sat down, running a tired hand over his face and emerging with a fake smile on his lips "so…"

"General, Daniel's just-"

He looked at Sam "I understand what he's feeling Colonel but I won't risk any one else's lives until we've got some more information."

Mitchell nodded silently.

Deciding rather than dwell on the status of her friend Sam cleared her throat and went back to thinking about what exactly she _could _do something about. "I can't actually plot a route per say of what Adria would have taken. I can find the fastest route back to the Supergate, within reason… it is a distinct possibility that they could stay in this Galaxy in order to find some more followers… if we want to send out search teams the best bet would be the planets surrounding P3R 636 – the ones that haven't yet been converted."

Landry nodded "get to it Colonel," he ordered, then "what's the status of Shyla and her people?"

"Doctor Lam has called Doctor Warner in, they're giving everyone a check over before sending them to the VIP suites for now," Cam reported.

"Good. Teal'c are you up for another mission?"

"I am,"

"SG2 is heading out in three hours to P4Y 972, they think they've found a planet that would be suitable for Shyla's people once they are well again."

Teal'c inclined his head in agreement and Landry felt an odd sense of accomplishment. There was no real need for the jaffa to go with the team, other than Ferretti had requested his presence, more than likely for the same reason that the General had agreed to let him go; SG1 needed to feel like they were doing something and whilst pandering to the needs of the men and women under his command was not something he was required to do he had learnt in his time at Stargate Command that he was amongst a unique group of people, the 'best and brightest' and whilst it was possible to help them he would do whatever he could.

"Mitchell, I want you to oversee the accommodation for the refugees."

Cam nodded, understanding. The job was not something he would normally be asked to do and under normal circumstances he would have objected, to a point of course, but at the moment the menial task was something that would engage his brain and he wouldn't be left 'reminiscing over the mission gone wrong' which he was certain to do if he actually sat down right now to write the mission report. Besides, it wasn't like he would be in bad company.

"Dismissed."

* * *

"Daniel," Nick's voice was annoyingly gentle, the level it was set at was infuriating; since his 'de-ageing' the man seemed to have developed some sort of ability to make people know his disapproval in just a word.

Daniel pretended not to hear him, pushing his glasses back up when Lexy knocked them with one flailing hand as she tried to tug the frames from his face, her disappointment was evident as her face scrunched up again and the once-stopped-crying started all over again.

"I'm sorry about Vala,"

"She's not dead," he accused softly, looking at him over the frame of his glasses, fixing him with steely gaze

Nick smiled wryly "sorry," he apologised, sitting down and staring right back at Daniel as if daring him to tell him to leave, "she will be okay."

"I know," he said absently, jiggling Lexy in his arms, in a vain attempt to get her to calm down "c'mon," he whispered desperately "shh… it's okay… shh…"

"Would you like me to try?" Nick asked after several minutes of the noisy tears.

Daniel shook his head "I'm fine,"

"No you're not."

He could not resist the urge to stare at the other man "I'm fine," he insisted again.

Nick shook his head lazily "you're shaking," he pointed out.

Daniel didn't even give him an answer, just got to his feet as if he thought that might help, it didn't.

"It is okay to be upset, you care about her… you _love _her."

"Obviously I'm the only one who does,"

Nick's eyes narrowed "no, you're the only one who's thoughts are being clouded by the way you feel."

Daniel rolled his eyes.

"We all care about her. I cannot think of a single person in this mountain who does _not _want to walk through the Stargate this very moment if it would get Vala back. But that's the point, the key _word _Daniel; if. If it would. It won't. The ship will have long since jumped into hyperspace and it could be _anywhere _by now. The best thing you can do is-"

"Sit tight?" he shifted his hold on his daughter and swaying on the spot "she's my wife!"

The absurdity of that fact is the last time he had, had a conversation with Nick about Vala the insistence had been the other way around. Nick had been the one trying to convince him to take the chance that he could not believe he had been hesitant to take at the same time as being completely horrified he had, had the nerve to take such a risk.

"Yes." Nick agreed amicably "she is, we _all _want to help, we _all _want her back but General Landry has every right to refuse access back to P3R 636 given the nature of the attack that took place. He would have no idea what he would be sending you and the people that would follow you through with or without permission in to."

When Daniel didn't say anything other than whispered words to the gradually quieting Lexy he pressed on.

"There could be an ambush waiting for you. Don't you think the fact that Vala is with Adria at all suggests towards she could be bait? By now Adria will know of you and of Lexy-Claire. Her dislike of you is bound to deepen and if she could lure you there. That leaves Lexy as good as hers because as much as we could try and protect her it would be nothing next to the protection that you and Vala can give her not to mention what would become of Lexy if you got captured also? Even killed?" The nature of the story was grazing so close to a wound that was only barely closed, but if he were to finish and make the point he desired to he had to continue "you know what it's like to be left all alone Daniel, I wouldn't think you would want to put Lexy through that too, young as she is."

Daniel's eyes burned whether with fury or tears he did not know. The proverbial bullet had hit it's target and the cool detachment that lay in a perfected mask across Nick's face was almost enough to make it that much worse.

"As wonderful a people as Sam and Jack are-"

"Get out Nick."

"You have to let these people do their jobs. I have never, in all my life, seen someone as loved as Vala appears to be and there is about as much I wouldn't do for you or Lexy as I wouldn't do for her but you need to just calm down and…" he closed his eyes and then opened them slowly, his tone of voice completely changed to something far more resigned "they're doing everything they can and they will get her back," when he failed to elicit a response, whether he wanted one or not he did not know, he stepped forward to touch Lexy's head as she turned blue eyes too look at him and gave only a sympathetic sigh as Daniel stepped back so as to prevent the action.

He contemplated saying something more but decided against it as he exited the room; there was nothing else he could do.

_Author's Notes: I loose my internet connection midnight on Wednesday, England time, and I don't know when I get it back, in short we're trying to change our providers only it's going horribly wrong. I'll continue writing whilst the connection is gone but obviously there isn't likely to be any updates – sorry!_

_Next Chapter: Shyla meets Lexy (it's a reasonable length chapter and yet very little seems to happen lol)_


	34. Search Unfounded

_Author's Notes: I'm sorry about the lack of updates - we've only had the internet back for about an hour or so now! But I think we're all sorted now, we have TV, we have phone and we have internet... sounds right to me:D_

_Also, I am sorry that the 'next chapter' pieces at the end of chapters are being altered when I update the next one, this area of the fiction is a little tricky to write because as I haven't written anything so… emotional is probably not the right word… for this fiction for a while the chapters are coming out differently and a lot longer than I intended, so please just bare with me, I think I have it all sorted so this chapter isn't what it used to say at the end of last chapter… if that makes sense, it says something different now and what was supposed to happen will happen in chapter 36 'Point of Origin' – it's kind of confusing!_

Chapter 34: Search Unfounded

Five AM.

He should have gone home hours ago.

At least that's what he knew the others would have said. But the thought of the empty apartment, with it's unmoving silent shadows as his only companions and cold sheets that smelt softly of some lotion or other she used made his stomach fall even further into the floor.

Lexy had been content enough to sleep in the bassinet that had been stationed in his office months ago and closed doors stopped the seemingly unending crying when she had woken at two in the morning for little reason and no cause.

Vala was still gone, it had been fifteen hours now. Landry had said they'd send a MALP through after twelve and people would start coming into work within the next two or three hours so sometime during that time a MALP would be sent through, not that it would find much. A once lively village burnt to the ground and the bodies of fallen men, women and children would litter the ground like sparsely dropped leaves. Vala wouldn't be there.

Adria would have taken her light years away, jumping into hyperspace within seconds of leaving orbit of P3R 636, there'd be nothing to find, no indication of where they would have gone. Adria hated them, SG1 was an enemy she could not stand but she would have absolutely no idea what taking Vala from them had done; there was no way she could.

SG1 was always abhorred by the enemies of Earth, they would not be enemies if they didn't but the team seemed to be held on some sort of pedestal that should never have been thought up. Because they weren't that good, they were lucky, took a shot and closed their eyes, not because they believed it would hit, but because they were terrified of what they would see if they missed.

The enemies were always beaten, always 'got their asses' kicked but it was impossible to explain how that felt. How every time they walked back through that 'gate, staggering down the ramp, half blind with concussion and so bruised, battered and broken that no doctor or nurse could even begin to administer the right drugs because there weren't any to give.

Codeine, Morphine, Novocain, they were all good in there own way, all sent you into peaceful oblivion were it didn't hurt so much for a while, where sleep wasn't interrupted by dreams where you'd been standing a couple of inches to the left and the shot _had _hit you, _had _blown your best friend's head of his shoulders. But some injuries always ran deeper than anyone could reach.

Every time they would come back smiling, and every time there was always a little bit less than there was before.

Mission reports weren't the place to say how close it came, how scared you were, how you'd felt so helpless, so angry that all you'd wanted to do was cry. You couldn't possibly explain how loud the shot had been as it had blown the wall apart above your head, how agony had seared through your side as you'd ran for the 'gate because you had nothing left to run for and if you didn't then you'd have to die, again and again, because the enemy never tired of watching you die; it was fun for them, like a game they would never cease to win.

Adria seemed to really, really hate SG1, and even as he knew that unrealistic hatred was usually based on some sort of fear he could not see it. He couldn't see a falter in her expression, a flash of something unknown flickering to life for just a split second in her eyes, heartless, emotionless and completely inhuman, there wasn't a single part of her that recognised compassion.

* * *

Her sleep had been disturbed and if anything she felt more tired now than she had when she had finally given into the bone numbing weariness and curled up on the bed supplied for her. It took her a brief moment to get herself orientated again when she opened her eyes, trying to remember where she was. Once that task had been completed she felt little better.

At the familiar sounds of the doors opening she sat up, self consciously flattening her hair even though it seemed there was no need for it.

"Nicholas Ballard,"

"What?" she blinked at the figure in the doorway, recognising it as her daughter a second later.

"Nicholas Ballard." Adria repeated coolly.

"What about him?"

"Where is he?"

"Are you planning some sort of family reunion or something? Because honestly, I think you'll be a real disappointment to them," all the breath rushed from her body as without even a twitch of her fingers Adria sent her flying backwards of the bed, landing in a rather undignified heap on the floor.

Adria's increased use of her powers against her was a formidable indication that the line she treaded was a thin one, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to care about that; surely if the Ori were that powerful and that worthy of worship then there would be no need for Adria to implement physical force against her own flesh and blood, as she got to her feet part of her wondered how far she could go before Adria tired of her obstinate behaviour all together.

"Fine." Adria snapped in a way that was eerily reminiscent of someone Vala could not place "you will tell me of his and my sister's presence soon enough."

Vala raised a quizzical eyebrow at her but didn't gain a response.

"I have brought some clothes for you." She gestured with a wave of a dainty hand at a dress folded neatly on the back of the couch.

"Adria," she implored "let me go back."

Adria fixed her with a look that could have been mocking or sympathy, it was too hard to tell "I am sorry mother," and with that she was gone.

* * *

He ran a hand over his eyes, the coffee maker hadn't been refilled in hours and what little was left in it seemed to have grown thick and sticky to form sort of sludge at the bottom of the container, he was pretty certain he should rinse it out but even as he thought that his hands did not move to perform the menial task.

Staying up all night had done little good, and pushed no further forwards into the attempts to give something viable to the General so as to force him to instigate a rescue mission that would get Vala back home. He didn't want to admit it, of course not, if he did then he just felt even more defeated, depression was imminent, enhanced by exhaustion but sleeping was impossible, not without her there.

It was ridiculous to depend on someone that much, to trust them with everything about yourself and more, to love them so much it was hard to remember to get out of bed on a morning because you could spend an eternity watching them. It was absurd after everything; words thrown in the heat of the moment, inexcusable actions forgotten, forgiven and lost, hidden in the back of your mind in a box labelled 'things to think about when I want to beat myself up' that was created so long ago you don't know how to function without it.

You expect it in the movies, on the big screen; people declaring 'undying love' to one another so profusely it's all you can do not to throw popcorn at them. You don't expect it to happen to you, as clichéd as that sounded, you don't expect to actually find someone whom you can say too, and mean it with every fibre of your being, that they really are _everything, _because when that happens it's so painful it feels like your entire body is on fire every second that they're away from you and once that's happened there is nothing you can do to stop it.

* * *

The gown was a rich material, it weighed next to nothing and shimmered in the light.

There was a knock at the door and she had no time to answer as it swung open and Tomin stepped through, a tray in his hands.

"Tomin!" she exclaimed, both in surprise and delight at seeing someone familiar.

Tomin didn't look at her, setting the tray of food and drink down on a nearby table and turning back towards the door.

"Hey," she approached him, catching his arm before he could exit and leave her on her own once more, "it's me,"

Tomin looked at her then and she was taken aback at the raw pain thinly veiled by an anger she hated to think was aimed at her that was visible there "the Orisi wishes you to dress. I will wait outside and escort you too her."

* * *

Sam watched with some amusement as Shyla lifted the spoon from her bowl before prodding the contents with some disdain and an expression of utter awe on her face "what's wrong?" she found herself asking as she bit into a piece of toast.

"I do not understand," she admitted slowly "why drown your food in milk, it seems completely ridiculous,"

Sam couldn't think of an answer and shrugged, her discomfort around the other woman had dissipated some what now that she saw that although she still had an air that she assumed she was much better than everyone else she was cautious where she tread so as to not to stand on any proverbial toes "want some toast instead?"

Shyla looked at her for a moment, as if trying to ascertain what she was being offered, her eyes brightening when she saw Sam holding her plate out "yes please."

* * *

Why was it when feeding a baby that most of it seemed to end up in their hair, the floor and mostly everywhere but in the baby's mouth? Despite Lexy's rather artistic tendencies he found at least some of it ended up being eaten, how she managed to he had no idea as the stuff tasted absolutely vile but each to their own he supposed.

"Hey Daniel," Cam's voice interrupted Lexy's contented gurgling as she waved her arms around in delight.

"Morning," Daniel replied off handedly, attempting to coax the infant in his arms to take another mouthful of the disgusting smelling orange goo.

"Security said you didn't sign out last night," his hands slid into his pockets and he rocked back slightly on his heels.

"What do you want Mitchell?" he sighed, looking up.

"You've got baby food in your hair," he said casually, ignoring the question.

Frowning he reached for his fringe and wiped it away.

"So did it do any good?"

"Did what do any good?" he said absently as he scraped the last bit from the bowl and eased the plastic spoon into his daughter's mouth.

"The all night-er; what did you find out?"

* * *

"How is he?" Sam asked as Cam came into her lab, Shyla, once more present, intrigued by the microscope and the slide beneath it.

"Stayed up all night." He leaned forwards onto her desk "but we knew that already. Any luck on those maps?"

"It's impossible, not that I didn't already know that. They could have gone anywhere, there is no way we have enough men or ships to search that amount of space."

Cam nodded, almost thoughtfully.

"Could I speak to Daniel?" Shyla piped up carefully, twisting her hands together nervously.

"Uh… sure but I don't… he's upset at the moment okay?" Cam could not come up with a good reason for the young woman to not go and see him and gave her an expectant look a moment later when she had not moved, just watched him politely "what?"

Sam looked at him pointedly then at the door.

"Oh! You want me too…"

Shyla nodded and smiled when he seemed to blush slightly or it could have been the light, Sam wasn't sure.

* * *

Shyla nodded goodbye to Cam who hurried off with an excuse of some paper work he was way behind on that he needed to catch up on but didn't stick around long enough for her to actually find out; not that it mattered a great deal to her anyway.

Knocking on the door sharply but not wishing to sound intrusive she accompanied the tap with a soft "Daniel?" she didn't seem stung by the sigh that was audible from within followed by a rather reluctant 'come in'.

"Daniel," Shyla smiled brightly as she sat down on the chair opposite his desk when he gesture the empty seat.

The BDUs she'd been provided with hung of her slim figure with an annoying grace that was highlighted by the regal posture she constantly held; it was as if subconsciously she was loathe to let any part of her body come into contact with the fabric.

"Shyla," he forced a smile as he completed he task of cleaning the mess Lexy made whilst eating at the same time as holding his daughter securely on his lap.

Her gaze shifted to the infant and she smiled at her gently, almost laughing when she received a gurgling giggle and a pure grin in return. Rubbing her hands over her face as if she were almost embarrassed Lexy could not take her eyes off, of Shyla.

"Is everything okay with your room?" Daniel found himself asking, throwing the dirty wipes in the trash can and focussing a little more attention on his visitor.

Shyla didn't look away from Lexy, seemingly enraptured "it is fine thank you Daniel." She looked up, expression serious "I must both thank you and apologise for what happened on my planet. We did not know that the Prior would return so soon or else I would not have invited you there."

"That wasn't your fault." He assured her, looking away and reaching for a pen, hoping it would give her an indication that he wanted her to leave because he didn't want to be rude and if she had to stay then far be it from him to kick her out; her home _had _just been destroyed but at the moment the ridiculous need to blame someone, anyone, _her_ for what had happened to Vala and as much as he could lie if necessary he wasn't sure whether or not he could for very long right now.

It was wrong to think it was her fault, because it wasn't; the words he spoke were the truth and yet the thoughts that whirred around his head were far louder and the feelings they evoked so much more dominant than the logical part of him that said blaming anyone was stupid and irrational.

He looked down when he felt Lexy shift a little more than she usually did when wriggling and saw she was batting at something Shyla was dangling in front of her. An expression of utter amazement on her face as the gold pendant swung a regular beat in the air.

Shyla flushed when she saw Daniel had caught her and jumped back to retake her seat, the necklace slipping from her grip and landing in Lexy's chubby little hands. She seemed unsure until Daniel gave her a tiny smile of acceptance.

"Would you like me to take her? I could look after her for a little while if you wish to aid in the rescue of Vala," she offered, shaking her head and raising a hand in dismissal when Daniel finally managed to pluck the jewellery from his daughter's hand and went to hand it back to her "she can keep it," she added as Lexy gave her father what could only be described as a disdainful look and pulled the necklace from the loose grip he held it in.

"No," he said quickly, then noticing how hurt she looked "I just… I think… I think…"

"It is okay," Shyla got to her feet "I understand that you wish to care for…" she trailed off when she could not think of the name.

"Lexy," he supplied.

"Lexy," she repeated "I must return to my quarters now; I hope that your team finds Vala soon, if there is anything I can do to help please do not hesitate to ask."

"We won't," Daniel said, somewhat relieved that she was leaving, watching her but trying to pry the pendant from Lexy's mouth and resisting the urge to curse when her mouth slammed shut on his fingers, the necklace falling to her lap as she found herself something new to chew on "Lexy," he chastised softly as she took hold of his hand in both of her tiny ones so as to hold it in place "don't do that," he successfully managed to free his fingers and reached for the towel lying on the desk to dry them.

Smiling and raising a hand to wave goodbye to Lexy Shyla left and Daniel was once more left alone with his daughter.

* * *

She had tried to talk to Tomin as he escorted her to Adria but the warrior had remained stoic and silent, not even making a slight indication he could even hear what she was saying never mind actually forming a response that required the formulation of words.

The gown felt even lighter when she wore it; it tickled and chilled her skin and she found herself longingly thinking of a warm bed with… and… the thoughts made her sick, her stomach writhing and twisting to the point she almost doubled over. It wasn't something she could even begin to describe, except that she was nowhere near where she should be, where she _needed _to be. With Daniel and Lexy, Sam, Jack, Nick, Teal'c, Cameron, even General Landry. She didn't need to be here.

A hand on the small of her back, urging her into another room jerked her out her reverie and the doors slid shut behind her before she could realise that Tomin was no longer with her.

"Mother," Adria's voice drifted from the shadows, as she turned a moment later and stepped into the light.

Vala raised her chin slightly in defiance, refusing the actually speak to the Orisi.

"You know Nicholas Ballard," and when her mother did not reply "of course you do, after all, he's the only family that Doctor Jackson has left, or did he leave his dear grandfather out of the introductions?"

"I know him," she said stiffly "what do you want with him?"

"He has some information that I need. Has he told you anything?"

"No."

"But you do know where I can find him." She said cryptically, as if she was finding it amusing to only give Vala just enough information to want more, teasing and provoking her into responding. "Now I really don't want this to get messy, after all we are all-"

"Adria!" she snapped "enough! This is ridiculous! You're acting like spoilt little girl whose so used to getting what she wants that she doesn't know how to ask anybody for anything without the insane expectation that the entire universe wants to bow at her feet!"

"I simply help to guide those who are lost from the path-"

"What about those who don't want to walk your stupid path in the first place huh?"

"They must be purged," Adria smirked calmly.

"Would you burn me too?"

Adria's eyes narrowed.

"Would you?"

She stayed silent.

"Would. You. Burn. Me?" she spoke slowly, her fists clenching into angry fists at her sides, hidden by the folds of her skirt, "would you have me chained down and burned like everybody else? Could you do that? Could you murder your own mother?"

"Stop it mother."

"Answer the question Adria; could you kill me?"

"I said stop it!" her voice rose to the point of a petulant shout, her eyes snapped closed and once more Vala found herself being slammed into a wall with such force she had to bite back a scream of agony, not that any sound was possible as she was lifted barely before she slid to the ground, invisible hands tight around her neck and levitating her even higher.

She could feel her head pulsing as pressure built there from being held only by her neck in mid air. Just as Adria's smiling face blurred and hazed out of focus and she was about to loose consciousness Adria's palm flattened and she jerked it sideways, sending Vala hurtling into the wall and sliding to the floor gracelessly.

"I have had enough mother, of your insolent behaviour. I have tried to help you, and I have forgiven you for every one of your transgressions but you cannot resist pushing me can you? You have married a sworn enemy of the Ori, and you have bed him. Lexy is mine, you owe me that much."

"I don't _owe _you anything!"

"Silence!"

A telekinetic back hand across the face forced Vala to obey the order.

Adria watched her for a few seconds before sweeping towards the doors as they swished open, turning in the doorway she saw her mother staring after her, unshed tears making her eyes shine, for a moment it looked as if she was going to say something remained silent as the doors closed behind her.

Vala stared after her daughter even as the doors closed and she was left with only the soft tremors of the ship to comfort her as she curled into a ball on the floor and cried.

_Author's Notes: The development of Lexy… I haven't figured out an exact age and the information I have implemented is from my little brother's 'Child Health Record' as, as I have said before I can't remember my siblings that small or at least not in that detail and it's different with every kid._

_This chapter and the next were meant to be just one but it would have been _way_ too long so I had to split it, meaning that everything's been shifted (including the 'next chapter' at the end of last chapter as I already said) but this is correct (she says, fingers crossed) no seriously it is _

_Next Chapter: The team grows even more concerned as Daniel refuses to leave his office never mind let Lexy out of his sight and they are determined to help him. Adria's search for Nick reaches a new level._


	35. Referendum

_Author's Notes: I was going to leave this until I got some more reviews for last chapter but then I figured I wouldn't (obviously) so I hope you enjoy this chapter:)_

_Random but vaguely relevant here, I have no idea if Ferretti's married or has a child but for this he does, neither make an appearance but they are referred to._

Chapter 35: Referendum

Sam looked through the control room window, raising her eyebrows in question as Reynolds came back down the 'gate ramp, his team on his heels. He shook his head and mouthed 'sorry' at her in indication to his findings, or lack of. Sighing Sam nodded her thanks and ran a hand through her hair, before letting them both rest on her hips.

"Hey," Jack greeted softly, walking into the room, the 'gate technicians on duty raised their heads and smiled politely at the retired General who glanced at them in response, his concerns lying elsewhere "any luck?"

"Nope," she turned "the Pentagon is breathing down our necks now too."

"It's only been two days."

Sam shrugged "the IOA isn't impressed either."

"We've searched for weeks before!" Mitchell exclaimed, approaching the duo and over hearing the conversation.

"They're saying it's a waste of time. And much as I don't want to say this; they're right."

"What? No! Vala's only been missing forty-eight hours and-"

"We had leads before, some idea of where to look," she gestured at the star map "Adria could have taken her _anywhere _by now. I want to keep searching as much as you Cam but I just…" she turned back to the 'gate, leaning forwards onto the desk and dropping her head.

Jack resisted the urge to touch her, it hadn't been a conscious decision to not tell anyone about their relationship but he got the distinct feeling now would not be a good time to come out with it. Instead he settled for putting his hands in his pockets and "we'll find her."

She smiled at him slightly before slowly turning back to Cam "we're not stopping yet. I'm just saying that General Landry is under pressure and unless we get something soon there is going to be an official evaluation as to whether or not we should be, to quote Woolsey, 'wasting government resources on a search and rescue team for someone who isn't even a resident of this planet'."

"She's been living here… God… nearly… three years? Now. And she's married to an inhabitant of Earth, surely that carries some weight?"

"With the Pentagon maybe, if it comes down to it President Hayes will back us but Woolsey…"

"Woosley's an ass." Jack stated firmly, then off Mitchell's slightly bemused look he shrugged "well he is."

Sam couldn't help but smile for a moment before looking back out at the 'gate, "come on Vala, give us a clue here," she breathed, Jack and Cam were continuing the conversation themselves and didn't hear her.

* * *

"Eat."

The sound of his grandfather's voice and the plate of sandwiches and salad from the commissary descending on his notes made Daniel jump but he didn't look up "I've already eaten thank you," he said distractedly, lifting the plate and depositing it on a pile of books that he wasn't using at the moment before scribbling something out and writing something in it's place.

"Power bars and chocolate don't count."

"They're food aren't they?" he said, trailing off as he muttered to himself and got to his feet, moving to look at the whiteboard he had tacked a star map to and checking his notes against it.

"Daniel," Nick sighed "Vala-"

"Needs help, I'm trying to give her that, now if you could leave?" he was tired, short tempered and well within his rights to get pissed with anyone who tried to disturb or slow him down at the moment.

"Your friends are worried about you. You haven't slept since she left."

"She didn't leave. She was taken," he moved back to his desk, rummaged through a drawer and found a clean sheet of paper and proceeded to copy out what had been on the original sheet yet in much neater handwriting, he didn't bother to defend his sleeping habits.

"You've been awake for going on fifty six hours now Daniel. No human being can function properly on that!" As he saw Daniel about to respond he cut him off "two and a half hours on your office couch isn't sleep, it's a nap."

"I'm fine."

"You're working yourself into the ground!" Nick exclaimed, his voice rising.

"Well somebody has too!" he yelled back.

Nick pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed "you're not thinking straight and your not getting anywhere, if you were properly rested you might have far more success."

"How much do you think I need? Six hours? Eight? Every second that passes is another one that she isn't here, she could be dead by now for all I know and if I… if I stop then…" he blinked hard and refocused the other man in his exhausted eyes, realising a moment later that he didn't have his glasses on therefore that would explain the blur everything had on it, plucking them from the desk he slipped them back on, neglecting to continue his sentence because he already knew that Nick was drawing his own conclusions and he was too tired to try and rebuke them.

Nick resisted the urge to comment on it, deciding that it was unnecessary and at the moment every battle had to be selected carefully, and okay, maybe his tactics left much to be desired but nothing else was working, "where's Lexy?" he said calmly.

Daniel turned his head quickly, eyes widening in shock when he saw his daughter was neither in the bassinet, the high chair or the playpen in the corner.

Cutting him off before a full blown panic set in "it's all right, she's with Lou Ferretti's wife."

"What? Why?" his breaths were short and uneven and Nick's concern deepened for a moment.

"Lou came by this morning. His wife was taking their daughter to the park for the day and she asked Lou to ask you if Lexy wanted to go with them. You said yes."

Daniel ran a hand over his face, the wave of nauseated panic had been instantaneous and his heart was still hammering in his chest. Ferretti's wife, Lexy was with… the memory of Lou dropping into his office to ask him was hazy at best. The fact that he could barely remember the conversation which led to his daughter being let out of his sight for the first time since Vala had been taken should have told him something. In fact in some deep recess of his mind it was probably screaming.

But sleeping meant dreams. It meant time and it meant so many things that he did not, could not, may _never _have. It would mean that for eight hours he would a million miles from anywhere; if he slept then he wouldn't be able to move should he be woken because he was so exhausted now that his body would refuse to start again if he ever let it stop.

"I have to get this to Landry." He said, avoiding Nick's gaze and slipping out of his office, leaving his grandfather looking about ready to start bashing his own head against the wall in pure frustration.

* * *

"Doctor Jackson?" Landry looked up as the paper fluttered to a halt on his desk in front of him.

Four pairs of eyes settled on him and he cared for none of them "it's a list of the planets that seem to be most likely for Adria to be around."

"P3N 4F6?" Sam asked, picking up the paper "Daniel that planet was checked last year; it doesn't have life support. The oxygen levels there are-"

He snatched the paper from her, muttering an apology at her hurt expression, producing a pen from nowhere he scribbled out the last two co-ordinates and stared at the paper for a moment, frowning, as if he were trying to think of how to correct the error without going back to his map and checking it again.

"Daniel." Jack said "you need sleep."

Dropping the paper, seemingly by accident he rubbed his eyes with two fingers "I'm fine Jack," he replied wearily, although the strength behind the tone suggested it was more tiredness of the question, whether asked or not of 'are you okay?' rather than something to support the ever present idea that sleep and rest should be next on his agenda.

Deciding that rather than arguing with the archaeologist any more than necessary was a bad idea and that it was unlikely to be very conducive towards the rescue that needed to get somewhere and get there fast nor anybody's physical or mental health General Landry took the paper back and put it to one side "I'll have MALPs sent to these destinations within the next hour Doctor Jackson."

"Thank you General," he replied sincerely, ducking out of the office before he could be collared by any one of the people still there; all he could hope for now was for Nick to have left his office and that way he could… well do whatever else he could, because, dammit, there _had _to be something else, there just had to be.

* * *

Vala eyed the food on the table warily; she knew she needed to eat but she didn't want to move. Sat on the bed with her legs hugged to her chest and her chin resting on her knees; for anyone to look at her they would have assumed she was cold but she wasn't, or if she was she wasn't registering it.

She wasn't hungry. Definitely not, nausea was tight in her stomach and so long as she stayed incredibly still it was easier to ignore because it didn't twist more violently around her gut. Her ears were roaring, or at least she thought they were. Could be the ship she supposed.

Lexy's face swam before her eyes every time she closed them. The feelings of ill regret and guilt that had plagued her shortly after Lexy's birth had never fully dissipated but had been easier to ignore up until now because now every time Adria spoke she heard Lexy's cries, every time Adria smiled at her, demanded something else before sending her hurtling into the wall or the ceiling or simply decided to choke her for a few minutes she heard Lexy laugh. It was horrible and yet every time she thought about it she wanted Adria to come back; to do it all over again because she got to see and hear and _feel _her youngest as real as she could be without actually physically being there with them.

What didn't make sense was the fact that she knew everything. Adria knew absolutely everything about her, down to the tiniest detail and she made her mother painfully aware of it at every chance she got, everything she had ever seen, done and said was as real to Adria as it was to her and it made her feel sick to think about it.

Why didn't she just go into her mind? Read her thoughts… surely she knew that Nick was on Earth, and Lexy, and if not, how did she not?

Stabbing pains shot through her stomach every so often and even if they had been anything serious she could not have done anything about them. Black blurred at the corners of her eyes and sleep was something she neither welcomed nor despised, it was simply there and she did not fight it as she was sucked into an oblivion beyond the dreams she had not thought to fear.

* * *

"You okay?" Jack asked as he and Sam left Landry's office after a curt dismissal signifying just how much the entire situation was getting to him.

Sam jumped as if she hadn't known he was there "yeah," she answered almost on reflex as they got into the elevator and the metal doors slid to a quiet close as Jack pressed the button for the level her lab was on.

"We'll find her," Jack answered a the unspoken question.

Sam jerked her head to look at him then answered quietly "I know,"

Her thoughts shifted precariously onto a similar subject; that of Daniel. It was not unusual for him to stay up all night, nor was it unusual for him to hole himself up in his office for days at a time but it had been so long since when someone had gone in there to invite him to lunch, remind him of something they'd planned to do or even just to say hello he had declined them so insistently.

Sure when he got really into a project you sometimes had to literally drag him from his office and he would protest and argue until reason won out and he surrendered. And she was hardly innocent either; her lab could become a haven that she could lock herself in for hours but this… this was different.

Lexy needed more than that, she needed to be outside, at home, spending time with her father when he was capable of acting like a fully cognitive human being. She didn't need to be so over-protected that she was barely allowed out his sight. She'd been out with Ferretti's wife this morning because Sam remembered Ferretti coming to see her to let her know, as he had put it, the 'good news' but there just seemed to be something slight off with that; Ferretti probably collared Daniel whilst he was so absorbed in whatever it was he was doing that he would have said yes to anything at all.

The elevator slid to a halt and Jack's hand on the small of her back urged her forwards when she did not move immediately. They were all running on little sleep, high energy drinks and eating sporadically whenever they got the chance but they were all doing a far better job of taking care of 'number one' than Daniel was and it wasn't even as if he were a child; a fully grown man should be more than capable of knowing when to sleep and to drink and to eat without prompt.

She took a slow breath, it wasn't Daniel's fault. That was who he was, he wouldn't be Daniel if he didn't get so absorbed by whatever project he was working on that he forgot the simple things. Her temper was short and she knew it, her thoughts were not gathered as well as they should be and her attention span was waning. A headache was tingling at the back of her head and if she wasn't careful she knew it would progress into a fully fledged migraine.

"You sure you're okay?" Jack pressed again, trying to catch her eye and she nodded instantly.

"A bit of a headache," she admitted with a small smile "I'll take some aspirin then try and get some work done."

Work, menial in comparison but there was nothing else she could do really. Search teams were out, MALPs being sent to every location they could come up with and various planetary leaders being contacted to see if anyone had spotted anything; not that it was likely. But normal work…

Jack nodded "I'm going to see Daniel," he leaned over and kissed her briefly, despite the fact the door was wide open, before departing.

* * *

It was entirely possible he could ware the sole of his boots through if he kept pacing the way he was but Lexy refused to quiet and it seemed she was getting louder and louder; how does something so small make so much noise?

He was tired, he knew that, he wasn't stupid, of_ course _he knew that. He knew he wasn't physically capable of firing on all cylinders this exhausted and he knew that there was more than likely far better ways to speak to his friends and family but he didn't have the energy that would be required to stop that.

It was cruel. What she did to him; it was cruel beyond every measurable thought. No human being should be allowed to have that much power over another, he certainly had never granted her that; to be in control of his every thought and movement and yet somewhere along the way she had obtained that power with such finesse he hadn't even noticed.

She shouldn't have gone with them, he'd said that, said it to her for days before, said it to even as they prepared for the mission but she had been adamant and he had known that it was not his decision to make, it was _hers _but then wasn't it his decision to make as to whether or not he slept? Or ate? Or did perfectly normal things? Did she have any idea what she was doing to him?

Vala; the walking contradiction.

Pigtails and sugared candies, sweet scented spices and flowers. Like midnight when the sun is high in the sky. A completely impossible combination of scents, sights and sounds and yet it was as if she was the only thing that could ever possibly be right in a universe filled with so many wrongs and evils it was hard to being to comprehend. How had that happened? And when had he started sounding like a cliché?

She wasn't perfect, and he'd be a liar to say she was.

Vala wasn't known to do things in halves, intense and passionate with and lively with a love of life and people and yet so wary to let anyone close enough to return it; that almost scared him. She'd wanted him, months ago, right back when even the idea of having a child with her had been something he had refused to think about, and at the time it had sounded like the world but it wasn't. Not really; she'd wanted the one thing he had been terrified to give her and it had been the easiest thing in the world to do.

The fact was she had gone out on a limb, risked getting hurt and rejected, she'd tried again, and again, and again and every time she'd been knocked down she'd got right back up; never faltering, never giving up. Focussing so hard on what she wanted the fear that would set in if she ever didn't get it couldn't get a firm enough grip to drag her under.

She was the epitome of everything he had ever avoided, the irksome child in the seat next to him in the briefing room; the perpetual annoyance.

He wanted that back.

He wanted her to steal his pen in the middle of a briefing. He wanted her too sit in the middle of his desk when his 'five more minutes' of work had turned into two hours and refuse to move until he agreed to come home. He wanted to argue with her over the covers, he wanted to drive to work in silence because neither of them dared speak to each other for fear that what they said would not be forgiven. He wanted her to kick him in the middle of the night when Lexy was crying and she'd already gotten up with her three times. He wanted -

"Let me try," Jack was stood in the doorway to his office and he didn't bother trying to figure out how long he'd been stood there.

"I've got it," he replied off handedly, wincing as Lexy's screaming just got louder.

Jack shook his head and walked over and took the little girl into his arms, remaining completely ignorant of the noise of protest her father made. Within seconds she had started to quiet.

"How…?"

Jack looked up and shrugged carefully, before slowly putting Lexy into the baby carrier as Daniel sighed and rubbed a hand sluggishly across his eyes.

"When was the last time you slept?" Jack asked, putting his hands in his pockets.

Daniel blinked at him before answering "I…" he paused when he realised he didn't know the answer "I don't remember,"

"Go home,"

Daniel shook his head, "no, I have things to do-"

"See if you can answer this for me," Jack mused "what would happen if in say… ten minutes time, we got a radio communication from one of the SG teams currently off world, saying they'd seen Vala and we need to send a team in to retrieve her?"

Daniel frowned at him, "SG1 would-"

Jack shook his head firmly "nope,"

Seeing where it was going Daniel tried to ignore him.

"Do you seriously think Doctor Lam is going to let you through the 'gate looking the way you do?" Jack sighed when he didn't get a response "Landry would be more likely to send an on-the-spot team consisting of me, Nick and the lieutenant suffering for concussion in bed four."

The look on Daniel's face told Jack how unappreciated his joke had been.

"What about Lexy? Has she even seen the outside of this mountain in the past few days?"

"Ferretti's wife took her out this morning," Daniel deadpanned.

"Oh," that threw him a bit "Daniel-" _are you even listening to a word I'm saying?_

"Jack," _fine._

Daniel reached for his car keys, glaring at Jack when the older man snatched them up and pocketed them "Jack." _Don't push it._

"The doc would have my ass," was all he said, smiling to himself at his obvious success and heading for the door.

* * *

"Vala!" Sam's voice carried down the corridor to her and she turned around, leaning on a nearby wall as vertigo nearly sent her sprawling to her knees, "are you okay?"

Vala looked up as the blonde came to a halt in front of her, cheeks slightly flushed with the exertion of running down the corridor "I'm fine," she replied.

"Good," Sam smiled at her "good,"

_Author's Notes: Confused? Good._

_Next Chapter: Teal'c and SG2 with news far more formidable than that which they set out to retrieve. _


	36. Point of Origin

_Author's Notes: If this chapter wasn't hard enough to write in the first place, the fact that I accidentally deleted the file didn't help. It is a little confusing and if you still don't get it after this chapter finished then just ask and I'll explain in the 'Author's Notes' at the beginning of next chapter and/or in a review reply._

Chapter 36: Point of Origin

Vala fought another wave of vertigo as it threatened to send her sprawling to her knees and when she noticed Sam was watching her carefully she smiled in a way that anyone who cared to notice would have seen to be the façade that it was, "what's wrong?"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sam ignored her question by asking one of her own, the concern in her voice sounded oddly fake to Vala but then again her heart was pounding in her ears so it was little wonder that the other woman sounded odd.

Vala nodded, the smile fading only slightly "what did you want?"

"Have you seen Nick anywhere?"

Vala frowned a little as if she didn't understand the question, there was something familiar in her voice but at the same time it sounded so foreign she couldn't place it.

"Have you seen him?" her voice was desperate and had even gotten louder.

Every nerve ending in her body felt like it was on fire and every cell like it was exploding; she couldn't even scream so any thought of answering her question was completely impossible. The floor was closer than it had been five seconds ago and the concrete was like ice against her skin; it burned so much a sob caught in her throat and she could neither release it or swallow it, leaving her gasping for air and choking on whatever she did manage to inhale.

Her vision was blurring and if she had believed in a God she would have thanked him for the reprieve of unconsciousness he gave.

* * *

Vala writhed on the bed before stilling completely and for a second Adria was too stunned by her own loss of control to be able to do anything about it. Was that what _panic _felt like? No, she was the Orisi, she didn't panic, she was cool, collected and _right_.

Taking breath and shaking her head so discreetly it looked like an impossible breeze had swept through the room to cause her perfectly curled hair to tremble slightly, she raised her hands over her mother's still body and set about attempting to fix the – not fix, for something to be fixed it had to be broken and Vala wasn't broken… not so much. Adria was simply… she cleared her head abruptly and set about the task at hand.

* * *

Vala blinked, disorientated and shuddering as everything came back into focus; she saw Adria leaning over something, or someone, on the bed and she moved to get a better look. She barely had time to register the fact she was looking at herselfbefore the darkness overwhelmed her again.

* * *

Balancing a box of donuts and two cups of coffee in one hand Jack used his free hand to let himself into Daniel's apartment. No sooner had he closed the door behind him the phone started ringing and he quickly put the breakfast down on a nearby surface and answered it.

"Jackson residence, O'Neill speaking,"

Jack could tell that whoever it was one the other end of the line was tempted to make some comment about the fact he was answering Daniel's phone and he was not at all surprised to hear Mitchell's voice drift down the line a second later "Teal'c and SG2 have just gotten back,"

"And?" Jack prompted.

"They've seen an Ori ship in orbit above the planet they were scouting for-"

"We'll be there in an hour," Jack didn't give Mitchell time to continue as he hung up and turned around, mentally kicking himself when he jumped upon seeing Daniel stood there, blinking back sleep and leaning against the doorjamb.

If he thought it odd that Jack was there he didn't show it, asking smoothly "who was it?"

"Mitchell. They've spotted an Ori ship – woah there Danny, where're you going?"

"To the mountain?"

"You really can't function properly with coffee can you?" he teased, raising an eyebrow at his friend's current apparel; it was either lack of caffeine or the good Doctor was planning on making a bit of a fashion statement.

Daniel looked down at himself and opened his mouth to say something when his daughter indicated she had, had enough of being ignored by crying emphatically.

"I've got her," Jack said "coffee and breakfast," he gestured to where he had put them absently before heading off to get the baby in the next room.

* * *

The briefing room was silent as the two teams with an addition of Nick, Jack and Carolyn, waiting patiently for General Landry to join them. When Ferretti cleared his throat multiple pairs of eyes turned to fix on him until he muttered an apology and they each went back to staring at inanimate objects with such intense gazes it was a wonder they didn't end up incinerated.

The silence was broken by chairs scraping across the floor when Landry walked in and nearly everybody rose from their seats and it was the General who was first to speak when he nodded his ascent for everyone to sit down again and he asked "so what have we got?"

"We spotted an Ori ship in orbit above the address we last 'gated too sir," Ferretti said with the air of a man who was loathe to speak with that amount of attention on him, "Teal'c thinks that it's the ship that Vala is on,"

Landry turned to Teal'c with an expectant look.

"It is most likely that the vessel is the one on which Vala Maldoran is being held captive. I believe that it would be most prudent for a team to be sent out to rescue her immediately,"

Murmurs of agreement flitted around the table, and Landry glanced at Daniel, a pang of sympathy hit his chest when he noted that Doctor Jackson had stayed silent. Landry caught Jack's eye and Jack shifted his hold on Lexy as she decided to try and play with his collar and, coming to the conclusion that it wasn't doing anyone any harm, he let her continue.

"How certain are we that this ship is the one that Vala is on?" Landry swallowed with a nervousness that was not at all right for a General to sport when he was addressing the men and women who were under his command.

"I am most certain," Teal'c contributed and Landry had too look away for the stare that the jaffa was fixing on him was enough to unnerve the strongest of men.

"It would be too coincidental I think for there to be another ship in this region of the galaxy," Sam said with a bravado that everyone could see through.

"It could be a trap," Jack offered slowly, staring right passed Daniel as that comment finally seemed to elicit a response from him and… well Jack had been on the receiving end of one of Daniel's 'death glares' more than once over the years, only this time it was the kind of expression Jack would have expected if he'd suddenly announced he had a snake in his gut, grown an extra head and announced undying love for Oprah.

"We have to go," Daniel said after looking away from Jack, but not without making his displeasure with the older man known, "we have too," his voice was hoarse and instead of being laced with anger it sounded defeated and small, and for a moment Jack had thought that both Carolyn and Sam were about to get up and hug him.

Landry took a breath "it is entirely possible that Jack could be right." He said slowly and pointedly "Adria knows that we'll be searching for Vala and she could have sent a ship there as a decoy,"

"But it could be a coincidence?" Cam posed the statement as a question because even he wasn't sure how much longer he could put up with the response even Vala's _name _got from people; it was as if she had died. Royalty among the peasants, a rose amongst the proverbial thorns.

No one said anything for a long time.

"SG1." Landry said "I want you to go to PF9 472 – strictly _recon_," he emphasised the last word with a direct stare at each member of the team, he knew far to well how easily they all managed to turn a simple reconnaissance mission into a fight for their lives. "if you do find out that Vala is on board. Do _not _engage the Ori soldiers, dial straight home and we'll send a rescue team out within an hour of your return," the last a promise he would never normally make but for some reason he could not help himself; he must be getting emotional in his old age. "Doctor Jackson-"

"I'm going," he stated firmly, "there is no way I wouldn't."

"You've barely slept-" Carolyn piped up.

"I slept last night,"

Landry rubbed his eyes tiredly "Daniel," he breathed "if… if you see Vala… I'm not telling you that if there is a perfectly safe way to retrieve her without endangering lives and without being seen the you shouldn't but whilst you're not military I do expect you to obey a direct order and I am _ordering _you to not let your feelings for your wife cloud your better judgement."

A stupid thing to say; everything about this team was emotion driven, they all loved each other in their separate ways and there was nothing anyone could do to stop that. People had tried, but no matter what they stuck together.

Daniel had _died_ and he came back. Jack had been given an extremely good job in Washington and he had dropped it, retiring back to good ol' Colorado Springs rather than to his cabin in Minnesota. Carter had been offered so many things and every time she turned it down. Teal'c had, had the opportunity to lead the entire jaffa nation that he had helped out of Goau'ld oppression…

The most fatal blow to the dynamic of the team had been when Jack had been promoted to Washington and it had been a long time coming. His running of the SGC had been something that none of them had been able to come to terms with and all four of them had refused to have anyone onto SG1 to either take Jack's place or Carter's. And when Jack had left for Washington that had been it.

They were either together as the four of them or they weren't a team at all. Daniel had been planning to leave the _galaxy_ that time. And then Colonel Mitchell had come along, and Vala, both within a very short space of time and some how the old flame that was SG1 had been re-ignited and whilst they would never have back what they had – and he wasn't sure anyone of them wanted that – they had reformed themselves. Changing and altering to fit in the two new team members, morphing themselves into something equally as strong as before and at the same time something entirely new.

Daniel gave a gesture with his head that was a barely perceivable nod that would not have been identified as such had he not bee faced with a question.

Sighing Landry got to his feet "you leave at oh-nine-hundred hours."

* * *

"Vala!" Sam's voice carried down the corridor to her ands he turned around, leaning on a nearby wall as vertigo nearly sent her sprawling to her knees, "are you okay?"

Vala looked up as the blonde came to a halt in front of her, cheeks slightly flushed the with exertion of running down the corridor "I'm fine," she replied.

"Good," Sam smiled at her "good,"

Vala felt some of the discomfort dissipate and the smile she had sported became more genuine "is everything all right?"

"I was just wondering where Nick was. I can't find him anywhere," she ended the sentence with a dazzling smile.

"I'm just on my way to see him," Vala answered linking her arm through the other woman's.

"Oh… good." Sam said slowly, allowing herself to be pulled along the corridor by the lively brunette.

* * *

"Where's Pip?" Mitchell said as Daniel entered the 'gate room, taking his P-90 from the airman that offered it to him.

"Hmm?" he frowned in confusion.

"Pip?" Mitchell repeated giving him a pointed look.

"Oh, she's with Jack and Carolyn," he looked up at the control room where they seemed to have a much larger sending off party than usual; the aforementioned trio at the front of the crowd.

Mitchell nodded "everyone ready?"

Unified nods from the other three and him casually saluting the control room before turning back to his team and heading up the 'gate ramp.

Upon exiting the wormhole SG1 was met by a lush green landscape that was entirely empty of human inhabitants as far as the eye could see, UAV telemetry told otherwise and apparently there was a group of settlements about fifteen miles west of the Stargate which would explain what business the Ori had there.

"Uh… guys," Daniel pointed.

They turned and looked as well; and automatically the team skirted for the cover of the bushes and plant life surrounding the 'gate.

"It appears that the ship is no longer in orbit of the planet," Teal'c stated softly.

"Thanks for the update big guy," Mitchell quipped sarcastically and didn't acknowledge the raised eyebrow and look of disdain that was fixed on him.

The ship was maybe three hundred feet from where they were crouched and they stayed perfectly still as the sound of heavy footsteps vibrated through the ground, a shout of "Hallowed are the Ori!" ridded them of any suspicions that the people that could be heard were anything other than Ori soldiers.

"Is that…?" Cam muttered, pulling out his binoculars and focussing them against his eyes "Adria," his voice was heavy as he watched the Orisi come out of the ship, talk to one of the Prior's for a few moments before a group of guards gathered around her and escorted her away.

"Daniel," Sam caught the archaeologist's flak vest as he went to stand.

"Vala's in there," he hissed at her. "I am not going to leave her behind again,"

"There is no way in hell we could possibly get in that ship Jackson, it's heavily guarded. We dial home and – Jackson!" he cut himself off when Daniel slipped free of Sam's guard and headed towards the ship. "Jack-son!" he snapped in a loud whisper before turning back to Sam and Teal'c, "come on,"

* * *

The corridors inside the Ori ship were laced with shadows and the lights that were on and permitted them to form were dim to the point it provided him with some sort of cover.

Upon entering the ship the low buzz of noise that could be heard outside disappeared immediately; it was as if he had suddenly gone deaf and for a moment he froze, unnerved by the seeming sensory deprivation before logic won out and he listened hard for any sound within the ship itself.

Unable to detect anything Daniel pressed on, hand resting on the butt of his P-90 as he crept along the hall. The ship's interior appeared like a maze; a rabbit warren of doors, passageways and possible entries and exits. Subconsciously he found himself noting down a series of vantage points should he get spotted; whether that was an effort the rational half of his brain was making or simply an ingrained routine he had learnt over the years he did not know.

He whirled around as he thought he heard footsteps, after a minute he dismissed it and continued on into the depths of the ship.

* * *

Sam blinked as she, Cam and Teal'c reformed on the bridge of the Odyssey; one second they were hiding behind a series of bushes as Ori warriors marched passed and the next they had been beamed onto the ship.

"Colonel," Mitchell and Sam said at once, nodding politely to the commanding officer of the ship, quashing the feelings of surprise that were rising in their chests.

"Colonels," Emerson nodded in reply "we just received a radio communication from Stargate Command; heard you might be in need of some assistance," after a pause Emerson continued "where's Doctor Jackson?"

"He…"

"Daniel Jackson decided to attempt a rescue of Vala Maldoran," Teal'c explained when the other two hesitated for a second.

"What?" Emerson asked.

"Jackson's gone after Vala," Cam didn't elaborate "we were just going to follow him when you beamed us up here sir,"

Emerson's forehead creased into a frown "where does he think she's been kept?"

"On board the ship sir," Sam answered carefully.

"Adria?"

"She is not on the vessel at this moment," Teal'c replied "I believe that it would be beneficial for us to attempt to retrieve both Daniel Jackson and Vala Maldoran immediately."

Emerson rubbed his chin thoughtfully and nodded "do you need back up?"

Cam shook his head.

"We'll stay as close to the planet as we can without being spotted; if the Ori ship decides to fire our shields don't stand a chance."

"I'll attempt to disable the shields on the Ori ship so you can beam us out once we've got Daniel and Vala back," Sam said, adding on to the rapidly forming plan.

Emerson nodded in agreement before saying softly; "okay,"

* * *

He had seen no one so far, and if he was truly honest with himself he must have around the part of the ships that contained the living quarters at least twice by now. He refused to indulge the whisper in the back of his head that said maybe running off and leaving the rest of his team had not been the most intelligent thing he could have done.

Daniel paused when he came to a intersection of the halls – how many times must he have he gone those _particular_ passageways? – sighing he went for the one on his right without really thinking about it. His footfalls echoed from the walls and he tried to lighten his step, admitting defeat when that failed he proceeded down the hall.

"Jackson!" Mitchell's voice carried down the hall swiftly and Daniel whirled around; finger on the trigger of his weapon before his eyes settled on the man approaching him, a second later it was revealed that Teal'c was with him.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c greeted and whilst the Colonel panted a little for air the jaffa seemed unfazed.

"Any luck?"

Daniel felt himself relax a little as he had automatically started prepping himself for an onslaught of 'what the hell were you thinkings' and 'you are completely insanes'. He hadn't expected calm acknowledgement of his position followed by a question so simple and yet seemed to mean a great deal to him. Realising Mitchell was watching him through impatient eyes and looked as if he were about to smack him over the back of the head he shook his head "not yet – where's Sam?"

Mitchell took point and edged further down the corridor, "she's going to try and deactivate the shields. Turns out the Odyssey was 'in the area' and they got a call from Landry over the radio, which by the way means you are either getting to be rather predictably unpredictable or it was just a lucky coincidence. Emerson is waiting for us to either get clear of the ship or for Sam to deactivate the shields - depending on how long it takes us to get Vala and blow this joint – so-" Cam noticed that Daniel seemed to have stopped listening.

Daniel did a double take when he noticed a door that he was sure hadn't been there the last time he had walked this way… or maybe he really _hadn't _been down that corridor before…

Cam and Teal'c shared a look and as Teal'c stepped forwards to open the door Cam took a hold of Daniel's vest and pulled him further back; however the loose hold he had managed to maintain was useless as he pulled free, again, and took a series of cautious steps into the room.

Vala was lying on her side on the bed and Daniel was beside her in a second, rolling her onto her back and brushing her hair away from her face when she didn't respond to his gentle shaking. He swallowed hard and without even realising what he was doing he found two of his fingers against her neck, hovering over her pulse point as Cam and Teal'c watched.

"Is she okay?" Mitchell asked.

"She's alive," Daniel deadpanned, anything else could wait because if he even so much as began to categorise her current state of being then he wasn't sure he would be able to keep it together long enough to leave the ship.

Teal'c stepped forwards to take Vala's unconscious form into his arms but blinked almost owlishly when Daniel stopped him, thrusting his P-90 at the jaffa as he went to lift his wife himself.

Cam had to bite back the smirk that was playing with his lips at the scene in front of him as for a moment he let the 'mocking friend' part of him take forefront as opposed to being the – well he was _supposed _to be pissed at Daniel for leaving them behind but at the moment that was impossible – calm and collected military man that he should probably be in the mode of right about now.

Vala was light; the dress she was wearing even lighter, and impulsively Cam found himself removing his jacket hastily, throwing it to Teal'c as he put his vest back on and shared eye contact only briefly with Daniel as the jacket was laid carefully over Vala's still form.

"Let's go," Cam said, they'd wasted enough time already and he was unsure how much more of that time they had too loose because that was all they needed; for a greeting party to be at the door when they went to leave the ship.

Daniel followed the Colonel from the room with Teal'c on his heels. The maze of passageways looked entirely different coming in the other direction and he was grateful that Cameron seemed to know exactly where they were going. His heart was still hammering in his chest and he shifted his hold on Vala for a moment, hoping that, that might calm his quaking nerves, needless to say it didn't work.

Any thought of trying to make sense of what was going through his head was wiped clear the moment a familiar voice fill his ears, the very sound of it had him repressing a shiver.

The safety was flicked off of Mitchell's P-90 a second before Teal'c armed both of the ones he was carrying.

"Doctor Jackson," Adria said smoothly, fixing him with a delighted little smirk as the warriors around her aimed their weapons at four-fifths of the notorious team "how nice to see you."

_Author's Notes: Okay so… please review?_

_Next Chapter: Can Sam take down the shields so The Odyssey can beam the team out or has SG1 met its match? (Doesn't that sound like the tackiest 'next chapter' ever?)_


	37. The Odyssey

_Author's Notes: I have an exam every day this week… oh well, if I don't know the material by now I ain't ever gonna (would you believe my exam tomorrow is English?) and I really want to watch Avalon only I can't find my remote!_

Chapter 37: The Odyssey

Daniel's arms automatically tightened around his cargo and he resisted the practically overwhelming urge he had to step back, which would have been completely useless should he have actually followed through on it.

"Adria," Cam said, without taking his eyes off the soldier his P-90 was trained on.

Adria rolled her eyes and sighed, premeditating what he was going to say, "you are of no threat Colonel," she said smoothly "your weapon's are primitive at best," she did not seem at all fazed by Teal'c turning one of his guns on her and shifting his finger none-to-discreetly on the trigger, despite the face that the bullets would proof to be of no use should he actually fire Cam felt vaguely reassured anyway.

"Congratulations by the way," Adria turned to Daniel, her eyes cold and yet glittering with something he couldn't place "does she please you?"

Daniel's eyes narrowed "what do you want Adria?" he asked, his voice edged with exhaustion.

The question was always the same, the answer equally as mundane and the result detailed to perfection. A dance they had long since learnt the routine of and performed a thousand times before; the audience always the unaware, the winners broken champions, applauded and presented with medals, badges, promotions, handshakes and gracious 'well dones' from people they had never met and didn't really care for. It was all the same; a picture perfect reprint.

"What I want? Doctor Jackson it's not about what I want, it's about what needs to be done," her eyes narrowed and her tone of voice became sharper and more pronounced "now give my mother back."

"No."

"She belongs with me," Adria continued "her place is with the Ori, by my side she will be protected."

"Vala belongs with us," Cam snapped shortly.

_Me_, Daniel thought, _she's mine._

No! God, she wasn't a possession she was a person, a living, breathing, human - _alien_ - being, she didn't _belong_ to anybody.

Adria flicked her fingers idly and all three P-90s flew away from the team, were disabled and then thrown to the far side of the hall where no one could reach them, "this is none of your concern Colonel Mitchell. It would be in your best interest for you to stay out of it; that is if you value your life in the slightest."

Adria had never made an _outright_ threat to kill them, she'd allured to it, suggested it but never actually said 'if you don't, I will kill you, no questions asked' at least not at a time that he could remember. Which meant that this time she was riled up, annoyed, irritated even, none of which were befitting of an Orisi, unless…

"You're jealous," Mitchell exclaimed, waggling his fingers at Teal'c to stop him from reaching for his sidearm "you're _jealous_."

Adria blinked.

"That's why you want Vala back. You're jealous of Lexy and Jackson!"

"Colonel Mitchell…" Teal'c intoned warningly but Cam paid no heed.

He laughed dryly; the expression in his voice was sincere and confident despite how he could hear his heart hammering so hard it was liable to leap out of his chest. But if he could keep Adria distracted from hurting anyone long enough then maybe Sam could disable the shields and they could get the hell out of dodge.

The warriors raised their weapons threateningly; all but two of them aiming them at the Lieutenant Colonel, ready to fire on request.

"You want your mom back because you hate the fact she's actually happy away from you. That she has a life, and people that care about her and every single one of them is an 'unbeliever'."

He was so intent upon mocking the Orisi that he didn't see it coming.

* * *

Sam blinked hard; frustrated by the task in front of her and yet determined not to give up. She tapped another round of keys whilst she rummaged, one handed, around in her pack for another wire to see if another connection might serve its purpose and she could hack into the ship's controls; she didn't find one.

Her mind wandered for a moment to the rest of her team and as she waited for her latest data input to register within the system she reached for her radio "Cameron," she said and paused for a response, not receiving one she proceeded anyway "I'm having a little-" she hissed an expletive when static roared in her ear.

* * *

Being thrown into a wall hurt like a bitch, or that's the conclusion that he came to as he now lay prone on the floor after having slid down said wall and currently feeling like he'd shattered half his spine. The silence that reigned afterwards was creepy to say the least as all eyes were either on him or engaging in some sort of playground-esque stand-off between Adria, Daniel and Teal'c.

"_Cameron_,"

Adria didn't turn to look at him but addressed him anyway "Colonel Carter I presume,"

As discreetly as possible he cut Sam off; breathing into his radio so as to cover up whatever she said next; if he so much as whispered 'radio silence' then what little was left of their bag of tricks was blown.

Taking a heavy breath that made his lungs feel like they were full of lead he caught Daniel's eye as he inadvertently took a tiny step backwards; Cam hoped he understood the swift nod he sent in his direction.

* * *

Sam contemplated trying Daniel or Teal'c's radio but just as she was about to the sign on her laptop flashed twice before disappearing; announcing that her data input had been accepted. A tingle of excitement flitted through her as she hit the last few key stokes; the familiarly loud buzz of the shield's dissipating signaled her success.

Reaching for her radio she unclipped it from her shoulder as she clicked the button three times, paused for a short click of response before putting it back on her vest and changing channels so as to let Emerson know they were ready.

* * *

Cam was about to say something else when his radio clicked three times and he discreetly clicking the button once, giving a mental countdown of three before he launched himself, in a flying tackle, at Adria, he felt his shoulder scream in pain as it impacted with her body a split second before everything disappeared and reformed as the bridge of the Odyssey.

He pushed himself back, off balance he staggered into a wall before straightening; looking up he grinned as he realized their plan had worked.

"Well done," Emerson praised the team, his crew standing around him, weapons trained on the Orisi as she blinked at them, fury evident in her cold eyes, he fixed his gaze on Adria "welcome to the Odyssey,"

* * *

General Landry bustled into the infirmary with an expression on his face that Carolyn recognized from her childhood as one that read ''fess up fast' she ducked her head and smirked at the deer-caught-in-headlights Sam was trying, and failing, to disguise as one of sincere apology.

"_Recon_," he spat "I said _recon_,"

"No one got hurt sir," Cam said absently, smiling at Carolyn as she patted his good shoulder to say that she was satisfied with the strapping she had placed on it.

"That can come off tomorrow I should imagine Colonel; it's just a precautionary measure," she muttered to him, smiling back.

Landry gave him a dangerous look that he had the good sense to divert his gaze from, "will someone please tell me what happened?"

Sam glanced at Daniel pitifully, she didn't want to 'sell him out' as it were but she had no choice, not that he seemed to be at all bothered; he'd taken a seat next to Vala's bed as soon as entering the infirmary, and much like after the accident, and Lexy's birth, he had refused to move.

"The Ori ship had landed," Teal'c spoke, not even having to glance at Sam to tell her to be quiet "the goal of our mission was to attempt to retrieve Vala Maldoran," he spoke in such a way that Landry wouldn't have argued with him if he could have been bothered.

He had known that they would have gone after Vala at risk of life and limb, that's why he had called the Odyssey and briefed Emerson through a video link what was going on and given him the co-ordinates of where SG1 had been sent.

Landry decided on a different tactic "why is Adria in a holding cell?"

"We heard she doesn't play so nice with others," Jack quipped, sauntering into the infirmary and eliciting grins from Sam and Mitchell as they tried to bite their lips in amusement at Jack's comment.

The General glared at him and Jack did not seem at all fazed.

"I went ahead to get Vala," Daniel said slowly and all traces of smiles slid from the faces of the room's occupants "the others were beamed aboard the Odyssey,"

Picking up where Daniel left off so as to give the General no time to recover from that statement so that should he actually explode, which seemed to be a definite possibility, he only did it once, Cam spoke "Colonel Emerson told us that you had radioed him and with Jackson already on the Ori ship we had to come up with a new plan."

Taking her turn Sam carried on, "the anti-Prior device was recently modified to hold Adria-"

"You knew it would work?" he was incredulous and his voice held more hope than he actually felt.

Sam paused "not _exactly_,"

Landry exhaled heavily and gestured for them to continue.

"Colonel Emerson didn't agree with us at first," Mitchell felt the need to defend the other man "he took some convincing," his expression supported his comment.

"I was to take down the Ori ships shields whilst Cameron and Teal'c went and found Daniel," Sam glanced at Mitchell.

"We found him and Vala and were just about to make our break for freedom when Adria showed up. Once Sam had disabled the shields I grabbed Adria and the Odyssey beamed us up sir,"

"Which is why she's in a holding cell, anti-Prior device included," Jack tied the story off with a flourish, "she was rather quiet actually," he said, contemplatively.

"Maybe she's feeling foolish about getting caught." Carolyn asked, her suggestion hadn't meant to sound so innocent but it did and she found himself flushing.

"Maybe," came a muttered agreement for several people but it was hard to tell who.

Landry ran a hand over his face again; he needed coffee.

_Author's Notes: Shorter than last time – sorry, I put everything I could think of into that chapter but ::shrugs:: it doesn't matter really. Review please!_

_Next Chapter: As Vala recovers in the infirmary the truth of Sam and Jack's relationship comes out and Daniel and Adria have a little talk._


	38. Subterfuge

_Author's Notes: Thank you for the wishes of good luck guys:) _

Chapter 38: Subterfuge

The entire time that she had been missing he had wished and waited and wanted so much it hurt. He had thought that hurt would go away one she was back, only it hadn't; it still burned, branded and ached as much as it had before the rescue. He still couldn't quite get his mind to give into what his body was yearning for; he still couldn't sleep.

It _had_ been a successful mission, not quite the in and out, no contact kind of mission but no one was dead, they were all home safe… were they? If they were all home safe, if she was within touching distance why did it feel like she was still a million miles away? Her foray into consciousness a couple of hours ago had been brief but – that was not a good example.

Of course she had been with Adria for three days, and judging by the state she had been in when they had found her, those three days had not been painless. It stood to reason that she would be distant; she'd been either unconscious or a sleep for most of the time since they had stepped back through the 'gate and most definitely had been well out of it back on the ship.

But still… back when she had, had the accident with his car, when she had _died _it hadn't been quite like this. She still felt like she was somewhere near him, there to touch and to listen and speak when he finally decided to let her.

Before then, before Nanith and Akhiyaa it had been pretty simple to look at, to just let things happen, because if he thought to much into it then it just meant that things got confusing and then people got hurt… they did anyway, but only after things that he had been so uncertain of even recognising himself had been brought harshly and with no finesse at all to the surface of waters too deep to swim in and all either of them could do was tread water until the imaginary sharks of reality drifted away and all that was left was the overwhelming urge just to find solace, and comfort.

The friendship they had shared before then had been a unique one, her the irksome little girl with the ideas and capabilities of someone five times the age she acted and he… whatever the hell it was he had been. Nanith and Akhiyaa although giving them something they may never have gotten themselves had torn apart what strained relationship they had, had before, and with it's destruction had come a wave of debris and hurt that stung to deep to try and get out in order to try and reshape the pieces to what they needed, no _wanted,_ them to be. Then she had been stolen; now she was retreating herself. It didn't make sense and he couldn't explain it; not even to himself.

She shifted in her sleep, brow creasing and making a noise that sounded suspiciously like 'no', he brushed back her hair on reflex, somewhat sated when she relaxed before pushing him away again with a flinch a second later. He tried not to examine the action too closely as she settled back down again quietly.

"Daniel,"

Daniel turned his head to see the person who had addressed him and then relaxed somewhat as he recognised the friendly face "Shyla," he whispered, turning back to Vala.

"How is she?" Shyla ventured further forwards when he did not appear irked by her presence.

"Asleep still," he replied, glancing at her "how're you?"

Shyla smiled, sitting in a chair a nurse moved from another cubicle for her, she nodded her thanks and the nurse departed "considering myself and my people are on an alien planet?" she laughed to lighten the statement "I'm fine," she assured him "another group of men have gone scouting,"

Daniel nodded "we'll find you a new home as soon as we can,"

"I know," she said quietly and silence reigned for several moments "has she… you know, woken up at all since you came back?" she spoke gently, as if ready to retreat should he show any discomfort at discussing Vala.

"Once," he answered, neglecting to mention it had been for all of five minutes during which time she had been so out of it, it could hardly be considered consciousness.

"Where is Lexy?" she asked smoothly.

"With Nick," Daniel's answer was clipped and Shyla was getting the feeling she wasn't welcome any more.

"I think I will go-"

"No!" he exclaimed and then off her shocked expression "I have too… I have to go do something, will you stay with her? Just in case she wakes up?"

Shyla grinned, delighted to be able to do something important "I will stay with Vala, Daniel,"

"Thank you," he said sincerely, getting to his feet "I won't be long,"

* * *

"Now?" Sam asked, dubiously "you want to tell them now?" 

"It's not like there's any reason as to why they shouldn't know is there?" Jack countered seriously.

"But… now?" she wasn't able to think of much else to say, there wasn't a reason why everybody else didn't know, not really.

Jack grinned at her, "Sam,"

"Jack," she challenged back.

He just looked at her.

"Fine," she sighed "now,"

* * *

The airmen posted to guard the door of Adria's holding cell were fully alert, as would be expected but even with her on the other side of the door, behind the bars and with a device in there that would temper her powers for a good while yet they had an edge of wary fear about their faces. 

"Doctor Jackson," the airman on the right greeted warmly, a wave of relief flitting across his face as if the silence that the two men seemed to have induced upon themselves was strenuous and Daniel showing up had eased the tension.

"Philip," he replied "how's Ella?"

Philip was under no illusion that although Daniel's question may have been sincere and he may actually care about Philip's girlfriend that was not the reason that the man had come to see them, he answered the question politely anyway "she's good thanks Doctor, took her to see my folks at the weekend; they loved her,"

Daniel smiled "tell her I said hello,"

"Will do Doc – take it you want in with our resident Princess?"

His smile became curt and he nodded.

Philip turned and swiped his card in the necessary place "she's been awful quiet since Colonel Mitchell and Teal'c brought her in,"

Daniel acknowledged his comment but didn't say anything, just slipped into the room and the door closed behind him; uneasiness roared to life in the pit of his stomach but he ignored it, glancing at the anti-Prior device on the table in the corner of the room, blinking it's little lights reassuringly he felt some sense of calm wash over him.

"Doctor Jackson," Adria spoke smoothly, her voice like birdsong "it's a pleasure,"

"I can't say the same," he deadpanned, hands in his pockets as he stood a careful distance away from the bars and Adria smirked in the shadows; she probably felt she had some sort of power over him still, she did, but her refused to confirm that for her.

"How is my mother?"

"Do you care?" he snapped back.

Her expression read 'touché' even if she didn't actually say it.

Adria got to her feet and stood right by the bars of her cell, for a second Daniel thought he might have seen a flash of unease in her eyes but he wasn't sure because it disappeared just as fast as it might have appeared.

"I know everything," Adria said conversationally.

"Really?" _Arrogant bitch._

She frowned at his blatant sarcasm "she didn't hold up much of a fight,"

Daniel was silent.

"I know how she _really _feels about you Daniel," she leered, and as if it were possible, she seemed to move even closer "you hurt her didn't you? You kept pushing and pushing and pushing until she got in an accident with that silly little car of yours,"

What the hell? How was that relevant? He didn't say anything, mainly because he couldn't think of anything to say to her that wouldn't appear like she was getting to him.

"And then you were so very sorry, weren't you?"

Okay, he'd known she liked messing with people's heads, it probably appeared half a dozen times on her CV, not that the Ori had flyers declaring 'help wanted, apply via your local Prior'.

Her usual tactic was different, it usually wasn't quite so personal, a display of power, she made an impact, a 'bang' you could say. She wasn't a dirty player; she played to win yes, but undermining basic foundations of her opponent's character? No, that wasn't her style… was it?

"And sweet little Lexy-Claire; pretty isn't she? Looks just like you, an image of her daddy."

Daniel turned to leave, he couldn't remember why he'd come to see her in the first place. He could think of a million and one places he would rather be right now.

"Leaving so soon _father_?" her sarcasm was evident as she smirked at the blink of furious realisation in his eyes, "mother's scared," and in elaboration "of you,"

He chose to ignore her allure to the fact he was, in Earth customs, her step-father, "why would she be scared of me?"

Adria was silent.

"The only thing she has to be afraid of is _you_ and I fully intend to make sure that she never has to have anything to do with you _ever _again."

"Sweet," Adria grimaced as if the word's taste echoed it's meaning "so very sweet."

He ignored her subtle baiting and left the room, shutting the door far harder than was necessary on the way out.

* * *

Nick bit the inside of his cheek and hid his face behind his coffee mug as he watched Cam sit Lexy on the table in front of him, making overly-enthusiastic faces and silly noises to amuse the infant who couldn't have looked _less _amused by his antics. 

"Having fun?" Jack teased as he ambled over to them and took a seat at the table.

Cam jumped as if noticing his audience for the first time and succeeded in sending his fork to the floor with a clatter, using one hand to steady Lexy he leant over to pick it up, "Ow!" he exclaimed loudly as something impacted, hard, with his head.

Jack burst out laughing as Mitchell re-emerged, but using the heel of the hand holding the fork to rub the offending area, "what the he-" he cut himself off "heck was that?"

Nick gestured serenely to Lexy who giggled delightedly and smacked him on the nose with the spoon she had managed to obtain.

Cam bit back a yelp of pain as he the fork fell back to the table and he squeezed his nose momentarily to alleviate the sting, "what did I do to you?" he sounded almost genuinely offended.

Teal'c inclined his head, a smile playing on his lips "I do not believe she found the expressions you were using particularly entertaining. This method seems to amuse her far more."

Cam glowered at the other three, a little surprised to see Sam had joined them, presumably at the same time as Jack. Lexy went to hit him again but Teal'c took pity on the Colonel and pried her weapon away from her, much to her disdain.

"Guys…" Sam said slowly, turning everybody serious, "I…" she glanced at Jack through the corner of her eye but nobody missed it "_we_ have something to tell you…"

* * *

Shyla looked up when she saw Vala stir and watched her critically as her eyes opened fully, squinting automatically at the offensive lights. 

"Hello," Shyla said softly, attempting to shield her upset as Vala made an attempt to scramble away from her and failing as the sheets got tangled around her legs and had it not been for the rails on the opposing side of the bed being up she would have ended up sprawled in a rather ungainly fashion on the infirmary floor.

As if on cue Daniel entered the infirmary and all thoughts of Adria fell away from his mind as Vala fixed a wide-eyed gaze of complete relief on him "Daniel," she whispered, half as a question.

And then, as if he hadn't noticed, Shyla announced; "she is awake,"

* * *

If they were expecting shock they were duly disappointed. 

"You already knew?" Sam said, unsure whether she was feeling embarrassed about having made such a big deal over it or of the fact she and Jack had been less discreet than they though they had.

Cam nodded, as Lexy wrapped her hands around his fingers and started bouncing them up and down, watching in amazement as the act, inevitably, made his arms follow in synch, "yep,"

"How?" she avoided looking at Jack, because she knew without looking at him that he was smirking at her.

"You either arrive within ten minutes of each other or at the same time," Mitchell began.

"There is little need for General O'Neill to be at this mountain," Teal'c looked at Jack as he said it, as if to ensure that the other man didn't take it offensively.

"Don't sweat it big guy," Jack replied to the unspoken remark, he didn't bother correcting the 'General' part.

"How long…?" Sam left half the question unsaid, unsure whether or not she was actually capable of continuing it.

Nick smiled knowingly "since Lexy-Claire was born," he answered, laughing at the twin expressions on both Jack and Sam's faces.

"Daniel," Sam said, remembering him walking in on them months before.

"Snitch," was all Jack had to offer.

* * *

The mountain was never quiet; always a hive of activity even at night, and tonight was no different. He blinked to clear his eyes of the cobwebs of sleep and noticed the television was still on, fumbling around on the nightstand for a remote he switched it off and dropped the remote onto the comforter next to him before getting out of bed and moving to the bathroom. 

Splashing water on his face he tried half heartedly to figure out what had sent him jolting into consciousness and, despite how odd it sounded, he hoped he could wake himself up enough to go back to sleep.

Towelling his face dry he sighed heavily before looking into the mirror above the sink, a flash of bright white light behind his eyes sent him sprawling to his knees, gripping his head in agony, barely suppressing a moan of relief as the pain dissipated, unsuccessful when it seized control again and he cried out, when it faded this time he didn't relax for several minutes. When he did, however, it was if floodgates had opened:

He remembered.

_Author's Notes: And cue suspenseful music… okay that sounds crappy. Moving swiftly on! Enjoy? Hope so because next chapter is going to an absolute bitch to write! I have a science exam in just over two hours (one thirty England time); I think I need to do some last minute studying now... (is there any other kind?) _

_Next Chapter: Vala is not enjoying her confinement to the infirmary and so Daniel enlists Jack's help to cheer her up._


	39. What You See

_Author's Notes: If we didn't have a time scale for this before we do now (kind of) references to 'Memento Mori' in this chapter._

Chapter 39: What You See

"Hey," Jack greeted warmly, tapping Vala's foot to get her attention.

Vala jumped and Jack almost felt guilty at the flicker of fear that flew across her face, he didn't study it too much though because it immediately turned into a smile when she realised who was standing there "Hi Jack,"

"How're you holding up?" he took the seat next to her bed.

"I'm bored," she answered simply, "apparently I'm not allowed to leave," she pouted a little with her sentence and Jack nodded a little in empathy. However he did feel a twinge of sympathy for the CMO; keeping any member of SG1 in the infirmary for the desired amount of time was a miracle in its own right.

"Where's Daniel?"

"Working," there was no resentment in her voice and Jack studied her for a second before he realised what he was doing.

"Let me see if I can bust you out for a while,"

The grin she shot him then lit up her entire face.

* * *

"No,"

"I haven't asked anything yet," Jack said, holding his hands up in a half surrender motion.

Carolyn turned to face him, tucking a stray lock of dark hair behind her ears before putting her hands on her hips "Vala can't leave the infirmary," she sighed "she's been back less than two days and she's still not well enough to go gallivanting about the mountain,"

"I wasn't going to suggest any gallivanting," he said almost defensively. "I just think that it might do her some good to get out for a little while – you've got to know better than anyone how boring those walls are and there are only so many times you can count the ceiling tiles,"

Carolyn could feel herself caving; she shouldn't. Vala had come into her care unconscious less that forty-eight hours ago. She was mildly dehydrated and having eaten very little in the three days she was with Adria it would hardly be indicative of a good recovery for her to start pushing herself to hard. Add to that fact that she was adorned with various bruises and, despite her denial, movement was still painful for her. Vala was yet to talk of her ordeal with her first born and Carolyn wasn't going to push her; she would talk when she was ready.

"Doc?"

"Where do you want to take her?" she sighed.

Jack bit back a smile of success and shrugged instead "Daniel's office or something; not far."

Carolyn nodded slowly and only answered when Jack gave her a pointed look of prompt "go, get out of here,"

"Thanks doc," he grinned at her before leaving.

Carolyn just shook her head in his wake.

* * *

Daniel smiled at Shyla; periodically checking on her as she made yet another circuit of his office, picking up odd artefacts here and there, examining them with pseudo scrutiny before replacing them and continuing her unqualified exploration.

"One of your teams returned this morning," she said slowly.

"Oh?"

"They have found a new home for my people and I," she folded her hands neatly in front of her.

She looked odd, out of place in this environment. Her hair, although not pinned up as it would probably have been elsewhere was still meticulously curled, she still wore enough make up for it to be screaming 'royalty' and the jewellery she wore was garish and strange against the green of the BDUs she sported.

"That's good news,"

Shyla nodded slowly and the silence that followed was long enough for it to become uncomfortable, he cleared his throat and returned to the translation notes that lay scattered across his desk, unable to fully concentrate as he could feel Shyla watching him carefully. After a moment he looked up again "can I help you?"

Shyla looked uncomfortable for a moment and avoided his gaze, looking at her feet; a slight blush had risen to her cheeks but was shielded by her hair as it feel forwards to provide an effective curtain between herself and her observer.

He got to his feet at her obvious anxiety and approached her, easing her chin up from her chest "hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she shook her head and turned her head away, looking intently at the wall.

"Shyla…"

She turned her head at the feather-light touch of his fingers against her cheek, she could see her reflection in the lenses of his glasses and she was almost close enough for them to mist up if she breathed on them. She wanted too… what was she going to say? She had no idea, now if -

"What's going on?"

Shyla stepped away; determinedly studying the floor as Daniel cleared his throat and looked at the visitors "Vala? Jack what's she doing here?"

Jack didn't even get a chance to open his mouth to reply as Vala was already pushing herself up from the wheelchair that Carolyn had briefly released her into and glaring at both her husband and Shyla.

"Vala I really don't-" Daniel went to usher her back into the chair and was more than a little bemused at Vala's response.

"I'll deal with you in a minute," she snapped, she was doing a remarkable job of looking at full health, and if it wasn't for the fact that he knew the condition she had been in for her first few hours back on Earth then he wouldn't have argued otherwise.

Sensing that now maybe wasn't the time to disagree with her he stepped back and shrugged, unwittingly giving her full permission to do as she pleased. He glanced at Jack only to find that whatever it was he had been searching for by seeking out his best friend it wasn't there because Jack was laughing silently, tears of mirth pricking at his eyes. Daniel scowled at him.

"What's funny?" he snapped.

Once more Jack was cut off "shut up," Vala pointed a finger at Daniel authoritatively which succeeded in sending Jack even further into his fit of laughter only stopping when the brunette turned on him "you can leave," and Jack wasn't about to argue.

Shyla blinked at the furious woman in front of her, as if uncertain she was seeing what she thought she was seeing "is there something I can help you with?" she asked politely, taken aback when Vala's eyes narrowed even further.

"Keep your hands off of him,"

"I beg you pardon?" Shyla exclaimed, obviously unused to being spoken to in that manner.

"He's _mine,_" she held up her left hand and with her other pointed at the ring on her finger. It was the only piece of jewellery Carolyn had let her keep on after the MRI and CAT scans she had insisted she take as her having been unconscious for so long seemed to concern the doctor greatly.

Daniel would have protested or at the very least laughed at how possessive she sounded were it not for the look of horror that was now painted across Shyla's face.

"Oh… I'm sorry… I didn't know… I thought…" she scrambled for the right words "I'll just go…" she turned to leave, side-stepping Vala carefully.

"Shyla no… wait… please-" Daniel went to follow her but she had already gone into the corridor and was paying no heed to his calls.

He turned back to Vala who was looking a little less sure of herself standing in the middle of his office, fidgeting slightly as she suddenly didn't know what to do with herself, "did you have to be so harsh? She didn't know,"

"Why didn't you tell her?" she answered petulantly.

"I was about too,"

"Yeah, because that's what it looked like,"

Daniel frowned at her "it wasn't like that,"

"It wasn't?" she paused "huh, looked a lot like it too me,"

"Then maybe you shouldn't jump to conclusions," he snapped, hating how insecure her mistrust made him feel.

"She looked ready to jump you," she answered simply, jaw set as she tried to stare him down.

"It's good to know how much you trust me," he said snidely.

For some reason that remark hit her like a punch in the gut. It was stupid to think that anything untoward was going to happen between Daniel and Shyla but Sam had told her all about the princess-come-queen and her connection with Daniel and it just… Daniel was just unobservant when it came to people around him; wait 'unobservant' was the wrong word, maybe… naïve? Probably not right either.

He just seemed to have this never-ending ability to be completely and totally oblivious to the effect he had on people. There wasn't a single woman – besides Sam because something about that just didn't seem right – who _hadn't_ 'checked him out' and it usually just made her feel all the more special to know that she was the one had chosen but today, now, with Shyla… it just made her… jealous? Huh, who'd have thought it, her, Vala Maldoran, the most notorious thief and most innovative sex partner on well over a hundred planets was jealous of a petty little princess with too many toys.

She opened her mouth to say something but couldn't think of anything worth saying. Instead deciding that she would be better off in the infirmary – maybe she could cajole Cameron into playing cards with her so long as she promised not to cheat – she turned on her heel to leave, stopping only when Daniel's hand caught her arm and refused to let go.

She didn't try and pull away, just stood with her back to him until he turned her gently and pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms carefully around her "I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair, willing her to respond.

"Me too," she slid her arms around his torso and leaned against him, sighing.

* * *

Nick stared at the contents of his mug studiously, watching the un-dissolved granules of cheap, instant coffee swirl about the top of his drink. He reached for the small pitcher of milk next to him and tipped a splash in, stirring it methodically more for the fact that it gave him something to do than actually wanting to drink the lukewarm beverage.

It had been nearly two days his…dream? Vision? Recollection? Whatever it had been that had revealed the knowledge that the Giant Aliens had given him and then shielded upon hiding him on Earth.

Being younger again, looking in the mirror to see the reflection of a man he hadn't seen in thirty years was unnerving at times and despite how vain it probably made him sound he still found himself staring for long minutes because even as it had been that way for over a year now it was still hard to believe.

As irritating as he knew everyone at the SGC found it; that he could not tell them anything as to why the Giant Aliens had done what they had done it was ten times worse for him. The knowledge had always been there, he could sense it, _feel it_ lurking in the back of his mind but every time he had tried to grab it, lunged at the information it filtered through his proverbial grasp and he was left feeling all the more defeated.

The data was like an entity in itself but as an archaeologist and academic he knew better than anyone the need for patience and he had tried again, and again and again, and then one more time when he was so tired he was ready to surrender to oblivion. It never worked, part of him knew it never would but he strived for it anyway because if he didn't then it just made him feel all the more useless.

No one blamed him, at least not to his face, for not being able to say 'this is what they hid…' but he still blamed himself for it. Same as now, after having spent so much time learning and being educated by the Giant Aliens he consciously felt guilty for many other things in his life, not that he was a man who dwelled on his mistakes. He felt the normal amount of guilt for the death of his daughter and his son-in-law; logically he knew there was absolutely nothing he could have done to save them, if the young, fit and healthy men and women helping construct the exhibit couldn't have done anything then what was a fifty-something year old man going to do?

Flares of guilt had risen in his chest upon the memory that he had declined adopting his grandson and at the time the reasons had been selfish. He had been working, travelling and engrossed in what he did and to have a grieving little boy following him around would have been more hindrance than help. Daniel obviously didn't blame him for not adopting him, at least not now, they're relationship had been strained but that was understandable considering that Nick remembered perfectly clearly how scary it had been to be thrust out into 'the big wide world' when he was in his late teens and for that to happen to a child…

Now it was better, they could talk without arguing so vehemently, of course there were disagreements, he was a man of ninety-something in the body of a forty four year old, and Daniel was… well Daniel. They were both stubborn and both rigid to their beliefs; it wouldn't be normal for them to agree constantly.

The guilt dissipated though when he watched his grandson whether he be working on his own, with his wife, daughter or friends. Claire had been lucky to have her mother around because he had never been the perfect, doting father, and he faired no better as a grandfather. The time was long passed where he could make up for that but he could at least try with Lexy. Daniel would understand that, just little moments, gifts, trinkets and words from him seemed to hold an entirely ethereal meaning to the younger man; that Nick could not help but be grateful for his grandson's endless ability to forgive.

Whilst the knowledge was there it was fractured when he tried to record it; in his head it made sense but should he try and say it or write it down it fell apart again and he couldn't structure it properly until he stopped trying to recall it. He would have to give it time, no matter how much he wanted to just tell everyone that he knew where it was.

* * *

She was exhausted, not that she was about to admit that, and nor was he about to tell her that he caught her more than once, fighting sleep as she poured over a text that she didn't understand, because hell, _he _struggled with it.

"Where's Lexy?"

He smiled wryly, that would be the third time in an hour she had asked that question and he knew he should take her back to the infirmary but the battle that would ensue was not one he wanted to fight. For some reason she was feeling insecure and uncertain and it did no damage at all to his ego to know that she felt better around him.

"She's with Sam this morning," he replied patiently,

"Oh."

The phone ringing had him shuffling books and notes out of the way to try and find the receiver, balancing it between his ear and his shoulder as he attempted to stop the landslide of documents he answered "hello… uh yeah she's with me… really? I had no idea… I'll bring her back… yes… sorry… see you in a minute,"

Vala looked at him and unless he was very much mistaken there was a pleading note in her expression as if she recognised who had been on the other end of line. He told her anyway.

"That was Carolyn," he replaced the receiver and got to his feet "she wants you back in the infirmary,"

Vala shook her head "I'm fine," she said reflexively but didn't protest again as he took the handles of the wheelchair and wheeled her from the room.

* * *

"Are you feeling better?" Carolyn asked Vala softly as she walked passed her cubicle on her way to her office.

Vala nodded but didn't say anything more.

"You'll be out of here in a few days," Carolyn reassured her "whatever happened with Adria has left some anomalies on your chart readings." Off Daniel's look "nothing to worry about just something I want to have cleared up before I send her home," she smiled at them both before leaving.

"You staying?"

Daniel shook his head regrettably "sorry, I need to get this report sorted for SG7. I'll be finished in a couple of hours so I'll come and see you for lunch okay?"

She nodded again, giving him a weak smile when he kissed the top of her head before leaving himself.

* * *

"Everything okay?" Jack asked as he stepped into the elevator to see Daniel leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, they immediately opened again as the older man spoke.

"Yeah – thank you for bringing her down,"

"No problem," Jack said, putting his hands in his pockets, a smile spreading across his face "so what's going on with you and Shyla?"

Daniel's eyes narrowed "nothing,"

"Huh,"

"What?"

Jack just grinned.

"Jack!"

"Daniel,"

The mirth dancing in Jack's eyes had Daniel sighing and trying to ignore him, and as silence fell for several moments Jack asked "so is Vala okay?"

Daniel shrugged defeatedly "I have no idea,"

Jack gave him a pointed look, which could have meant anything but Daniel took it as one to carry on "ever since she got back she's been… I don't know… off."

"You two ever been on a date?" he asked abruptly.

Daniel raised his eyebrow, "maybe once, but it was hardly a-"

"Ahh the dinner between colleagues," Jack said, grinning.

"What?"

"Daniel, colleagues go to O'Malleys for steaks. Friends go to each other's houses for pizza and beer. You took her where?"

"Il Fiore Bianco,"

Jack smirked and Daniel glared so he continued "did she like it?"

"She got kidnapped and had her memory wiped," Daniel deadpanned.

"Always knew the food in there was dodgy,"

"Jack," _you're not helping_.

"Daniel," _am I meant to be?_

"I've got to go," he rubbed his eyes absently as he exited the elevator.

"Take her out somewhere, doesn't have to be anywhere special,"

"Why?"

"This would be the… second time you've gotten married before actually having dated the woman?" he teased and if it had been anyone else Daniel would probably have felt a spike of upset in his stomach at the reference to Sha're. Sighing Jack elaborated "just take her out Daniel,"

"How am I supposed to do that? Carolyn's loath to let her out of the infirmary never mind the mountain,"

Jack smiled mischievously "leave it to me," and the elevator doors slid to a close.

_Author's Notes: That last bit… got away from me I guess! Lol. The original plan for this chapter (that was probably finished about ten seconds before I started it) had it about twice this length so I've had to split it. Let's call it a 'double' and so the 'next chapter' at the end of 'Subterfuge' covers both this chapter and the next. _


	40. What You Get

_Author's Notes: This would be part two of the scenario described at the end of 'Subterfuge'. Oh yeah if any of you liked the Vala and Shyla piece last chapter, there's something vaguely akin to it in this, regarding a certain member of museum staff…_

Chapter 40: What You Get

Standing just outside the infirmary, Jack cocked his head to one side, contemplating what Daniel had just said.

"I just think that maybe asking Carolyn first might be better than just sneaking off in the first place,"

"Why?"

"Because it would a more adult way of dealing with it," Daniel replied, his exasperation at his friend's ignorance showing "and this is beginning to feel like a sick re-enactment of high school,"

"You snuck out of the house to go on a date?"

Daniel glared him into silence, choosing to ignore the grin that replaced Jack's mock look of astonishment.

"Go ask Carolyn then," Jack said "just don't come crying to me when she says no,"

"She's not my mother,"

Jack just shook his head and laughed.

* * *

"Carolyn please," 

"I'm sorry Daniel,"

"Carolyn-"

Carolyn turned to face him, sighing impatiently "Doctor Jackson," she said slowly "I know how you feel and maybe she does need to go out," she shrugged "who knows; I'm not a psychologist," she was grateful for his silence "but as her physician I think that the strain would be to much – you saw her after this morning, and all she did was go to your office for a little while. Actually leaving the SGC? I'm not willing to condone that until after she's had some rest,"

"It wouldn't-"

"I said no Daniel;" her eyes narrowed as she brushed passed him to leave her office, she paused at the door "I'm sorry; maybe another day,"

Daniel nodded at her back "thank you,"

She turned and smiled encouragingly at him before walking away.

* * *

"Yes? No? Full physical?" Jack leaned on the doorjamb. 

Daniel ignored him.

"Well I hate to say I told you so…"

"Have you got any better ideas?"

Jack smirked "go get her, I'll see you topside,"

"How am I supposed to 'go get her'? She's in the main ward and there are the security cameras – Jack! _Jack_!"

He was already speaking to an empty room

* * *

Daniel felt a pang in his chest as he approached Vala's cubicle and saw her lying on her side, staring at the floor, however as much as that pained him he couldn't help but smile back at her when she sat up abruptly and grinned when she saw him. 

"Hey," he greeted softly "how're you feeling?"

"Fine," she responded, a little to quickly but he let it pass, she frowned as she saw him glance nervously behind him, "what's going on?"

He turned back to look at her sharply "we're uh… going out,"

She raised her eyebrows "where?"

Daniel shrugged "I don't know yet. You up for it?"

Vala nodded enthusiastically and flung back the blankets, swinging her feet to the floor, she didn't protest, other than to send him a reproachful look, when he silently took her arm to help her up.

Daniel frowned as they left the cubicle and there wasn't a nurse in sight, a few patients that were far to occupied with either their visitors or sleeping to notice that one of their own was leaving.

"I find it hard to believe that Carolyn said yes," Vala said, as they made it out of the infirmary unnoticed.

"She… didn't,"

Vala looked at him.

"Don't ask," he said, hoping she wouldn't press the matter as they elevator doors slid close and the lift started its painfully slow trek to the surface.

Jack was standing there when the doors finally reopened and gave a nod and smile of approval when he saw them.

"This is insane," Daniel said simply.

"Shut up Daniel," Jack replied absently, leading them to the parking lot "I've signed you both out, you should be clear out onto the main road,"

Daniel unlocked the car and Vala got in the passenger as he, the driver's, starting the engine he reversed out of the parking place.

"Have fun!" Jack waved and Vala enthusiastically waved back.

* * *

He'd done some strange things before – walking through the Stargate ranked pretty high on that list – but somehow this felt odd as well. It shouldn't. He'd 'escaped' from the infirmary before, long before when he was supposed to with the help of one of his team-mates but never before had it been strictly on the purpose of going on a date. What was with that anyway? Why go on the date at all? 

He and Vala were married, they had a _child _– Jack better have sorted Lexy out because how bad a father would that make him to have to admit he had _forgotten _to find someone to look after his daughter for the afternoon – they didn't need to go on 'dates'. Out to dinner maybe but at half past one in the afternoon and with her wearing hospital scrubs and him in BDUs - which he _really _should have changed out of before leaving the mountain, oh well – they were hardly dressed appropriately. Where exactly was he supposed to take her?

Vala leant forward and flipped on the heater, angling the vent to face her and settling more comfortably in her seat "where are we going?" she asked again.

"Home first, we need to change, after that…" he shrugged "up to you,"

"Somewhere quiet," she said softly and Daniel had to the resist the urge to check on her.

Somewhere quiet… he could do that but it wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting. She could have suggested anywhere, the mall – God forbid – the cinema, especially given her insistence to go and see whatever-the-hell-it-was that she had seen advertised last week but… quiet. Hmm…

"The museum," she said as he pulled into the driveway, she sounded suddenly a lot better.

A little taken aback it took him a second to reply "sure,"

Once inside the apartment Vala headed straight for the bathroom, locking the door and leaning against it as she took a few breaths. Peripherally she could her Daniel changing in the bedroom and she should probably go and get changed herself but the thought of… no.

But Adria… she… _what was wrong with her?_ Why couldn't she just go and get changed in the same room as her _husband?_ It was Daniel. She'd had no qualms with taking off her clothes in front of him before the Nanith and Akhiyaa incident why now?

It was dark and cold and yet hot at the same time. Burning and freezing when she tried to touch it. There was something she couldn't remember, something she was supposed to but then there was the question of whether or not she _wanted _to because sometimes knowing nothing at all is better than knowing everything possible.

Having finished changing Daniel headed into the hall to pick up the mail he'd stepped over on the way in. Not much really; a flyer advertising the play being performed by the local elementary school, 'free home delivery for you groceries' from a store he'd never heard of and a credit card bill that he decided to avoid opening until later.

Vala took a while to change, and she gradually grew more and more irritated by his 'insensitive hassling' as she had put it when he asked her if had actually gone to the store to by a new outfit. Eventually she emerged and he looked up her up and down – quickly when he noticed her daring him to say something – and couldn't for the life of him see how it had taken her nearly thirty minutes to put on jeans and a pale blue blouse he hadn't seen before. Wisely though, he didn't mention it.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yes," she suddenly brightened as she took her jacket off the peg in the hall and stepped under his arm into the drive.

"So why do you want to go the museum?" he asked; waving in thanks to the young woman who paused and waited to let the car out.

Vala shrugged and he knew already that the answer she gave would be vague and incomplete "something I need to do,"

* * *

He'd been to the museum a fair few times before, various exhibits had been opened and reopened during the time he had been living in Colorado Springs. The Egyptian exhibit was not something he had seen before nor did he have much interest in seeing it, or more he didn't care either way. Vala apparently did. Either that or there was a fire she knew about that he was yet to see. 

"Excuse me," Vala tapped the woman's shoulder politely.

"Yes?" the woman turned around, surveying Vala over the top of her glasses before raising her head to look through the lenses and pursing her lips "can I help you?"

"Daniel,"

Daniel turned as Vala called his name, moving over from the display that he'd been only partially interested in "hmm?" he moved over to her when Vala beckoned him.

"This is Doctor Jackson," she announced smoothly.

The woman raised her eyebrows "I see,"

"Daniel," he held out his hand politely, lowering it when she didn't take it.

"Serena," she said curtly, giving Daniel a once over that made him uncomfortable and apparently didn't please her in the slightest.

"Vala…" Daniel said slowly after a moment of silence.

She took his hand and pulled him over to the wall, pointing at the plaque she had read months ago and releasing him "is that right?"

He gave her a funny look.

"Is it?" she repeated almost desperately.

"No but I really don't-"

"See," Vala snapped at Serena "it _is _wrong,"

Serena gave a shrill laugh "you've brought Doctor Jackson here just so he can make a fool of himself once again?"

Daniel's eyes narrowed but he said nothing, insults and snide remarks were not unfamiliar to him and if Serena wanted to do so, so badly then he was more than happy to let her continue.

That had to be one of the things that had taken the longest for him to accept; the fact that his theories and ideas had been proven right with so much evidence it was overwhelming but that he couldn't tell anybody. Then again he was standing in the middle of a museum with a woman who was technically a form of the very proof his colleagues and mentors had asked for so often.

Vala looked as if she was going to say something but instead just smiled almost sadistically before landing her fist in Serena's face with a sound that made even Daniel jump. Not sparing a glance for his wife Daniel rushed forwards to help Serena off the floor.

Serena clapped her hands firmly over her nose, the blood was visible and it was most probably that her nose had been broken. She jerked away from Daniel's help, giving him a deadly look as various people came running to her aid, security included.

"It's okay," Daniel said getting to his feet as the somewhat over-weight guard showed up and fixed Vala with an almost predatory gaze "we're leaving," and he took Vala's arm and hurried from the building before the guard decided to arrest her for assault.

Vala was silent until they'd driven almost two miles away from the museum and Daniel pulled up at the side of the road.

"What was that?" he demanded.

She shook her head "doesn't matter,"

"You just broke a woman's nose!"

Vala turned her head and looked out the window. She was almost as surprised as he was at what she had just done. Her reasons for wanting to go to the museum had been much along the lines of what had just happened but she hadn't _planned _on decking 'Serena'.

Deciding to go had been a spur of the moment thing, it wasn't something she had thought about, more just something she felt like wanting to do. After everything with Adria… it was like her not wanting to get changed in the same room as Daniel, it was connected to her, to something she was feeling but shouldn't be or at least she should at least have some memory of _why _she was feeling that way.

Punching Serena… it was impulsive, split-second, don't-think-just-react kind of thing. The sort of thing she expected to feel when being faced down by the enemy, or when she had been prowling the galaxy for whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it. Before Earth, before Daniel, before the incident on the Prometheus her life had been run with that concept, it didn't matter what happened afterwards because if she didn't think about it then there was no one around to second-guess her.

She jumped when she felt his hand on hers and she didn't miss the expression of hurt that flickered across his face and then disappeared as fast as it arrived.

"Why? That's all I'm asking; why?" he said gently, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

Vala looked down at their interlocked fingers in her lap, using the fingers on her free hand to ghost them across his knuckles absently but staring as if it were the most amazing thing she had ever seen.

When he spoke again she realised she'd been silent too long "it doesn't matter," he pulled his hand away from her meticulous scrutiny "where d'you want to go now?"

"No," she breathed almost pathetically, seizing his wrist as he went to take the steering wheel.

He looked her straight in the eyes and nodded, indicating that she should continue.

"She's just someone… I've met her before and she said some things about… well she said some things and I don't know... I guess she just annoyed me,"

"So you tried to break her nose," when she looked away, "I'm just trying to understand,"

"I wasn't _trying _to break anything," she replied petulantly.

He couldn't help but smile at her "okay," it didn't matter, well it did but in the grand scheme of things it was completely worthless, if Serena wanted to file any charges against Vala then Landry would get them cleared.

"Can I drive?"

Daniel's train of thought came to a shrieking halt at the question voiced in a tone that was far more bubbly than it had been thirty seconds ago.

"Please?" she added tentatively.

He opened his mouth to politely tell her no but she threw him completely by smiling enthusiastically. Daniel didn't say anything, just got out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition.

"Thank you!" she said, getting into the driver's side and kissing him on the cheek after putting on her seatbelt.

"You _do_ have a licence right?" he whipped his head around to look at her as the thought suddenly came across his mind; _you should know that already_ he berated himself mentally.

Rolling her eyes dramatically she leaned over, opened the glove box and pulled out the little card, "Sam took me to get it done," she showed him, sitting back down when he took the card from her and putting her foot on the clutch to change gear.

He nodded, putting the card back where she had got it from, showed how much he looked in the glove box if that's where she kept it, "where're we going?" he asked.

She smiled "you'll see,"

_Author's Notes: It would appear that this is now meant to be a three-part as opposed to a two-part, I'm either procrastinating the difficult bit or I didn't plan it very well! So again, no next chapter this time either…_


	41. What You Are

_Author's Notes/Disclaimer: Part-three of the scenario described at the end of 'Subterfuge'! Oh yeah and I do __**not **__own the raspberries (or Harry Potter for that matter), the fruit idea was Jess' she suggested and I implemented with lack of any replacement ideas so…_

Chapter 41: What You Are

Daniel fixed her with a patented expression, "Vala," he said slowly, _expectantly_.

"Daniel," she grinned at him mockingly.

If his patience was waning he didn't show it "what're we doing here?"

"Raspberries," she said delightedly.

"I can see that," he said, eyeing the field of plants in front of them.

The look she shot him had 'duh' written all over it.

He tried again "why are we here?"

"People pick raspberries Daniel," she said wearily "I want too," she got out of the car and shut the door, tapping the window and glaring at him when he took too long to follow her example.

"If you wanted some we could have just gone to the store," he said, resigning himself to his fate by getting out of the car and taking the keys from Vala after she had locked it.

"It's not fun like that," she said, looping her arm though his.

"Good aft'noon sir! Ma'am," a boy of about twelve jumped off the fence by the gate greeted them warmly "how can I help you?"

Vala looked up at Daniel and sighed exaggeratedly when he didn't say anything. Instead she plucked his wallet from his pocket, much to his disdain and pulled out a note, handing it to the boy.

The boy took the note, rummaged through his jar of money for some change and handed her it, along with container "have fun," he said, before jumping back onto the fence and going back to his games console.

Allowing Vala to pull him into the fields he waited several moments before asking "how'd you hear about this place?"

"Teal'c," she said absently.

Daniel decided he didn't want to know any more.

* * *

"General O'Neill!"

Jack winced at the sound of the CMO's voice and he turned on his heel to see the rather irate brunette storming towards him "hey Doc, what can I do for you?" he paused "and it's Jack,"

Her eyes narrowed making Jack certain she already knew she could call him by his first name but had neglected to on purpose. She came to halt right in front of him and he had to lean back a little to accomadate her.

"Where's Vala?"

"Who?"

"You know who."

"Isn't he the guy who killed that Harry kid's parents?" off her look of confusion he added; "I've seen the movies,"

She shook her head as if to clear it and her expression of fury slid back into place "where is she Jack?"

"Out,"

"Where?"

"I have no idea,"

She pinched the bridge of her nose before settling her hands on her hips "am I to presume that Doctor Jackson is with her?"

Jack thought about saying something for a moment before deciding just to smile innocently at her.

Carolyn just sighed.

* * *

"Hey!"

"What?" she said, licking her fingers and then flexing her hand experimentally when she realised it still felt sticky.

"You're not supposed to be eating them,"

"That's what they're for," she replied simply, reaching up and pulling several off the branch at once, popping several more in her mouth and only a few in the only half-full container in Daniel's hand.

He shook his head, realising there was no way he was going to win this battle. This was one of the strangest dates he'd been on…possibly? There were a few that sprang to mind but he jumped out of his reverie when he saw Vala's hand hovering in front of his face insistently.

"Eat it," she instructed forcefully, putting it in his mouth when he opened it to object.

"Very nice," he said after swallowing "but I still don't see the point of-" her shriek cut him off, "what's wrong?"

She flushed almost instantly and threw the handful of berries in her hand on the floor, stepping back.

"Vala…" he saw the object of her surprise and couldn't help laughing "it's a caterpillar," he said, once the laughing had abated "they're harmless,"

She glared at him, and gave him a playful shove which must have been harder than she had thought because he lost his footing and went sprawling the ground, the container of fruit rolling away.

The fall stopped him laughing but the expression of surprise on his face had Vala start. His response was to pull her down with him.

"Hey!" she exclaimed "that's not fair,"

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'm sick; you have to be gentle,"

"The amount you've been eating I'm not surprised,"

She went to shove him again but he caught her hands, easily changing her plan Vala pulled him over on top of her and apparently the ground wasn't entirely flat because no sooner had she done that but the added momentum of his weight sent them both rolling down the slop shielded by a few bushes. They crashed through the brambles and leaves before landing with a splash in the stream at the bottom.

Vala found herself laughing so hard she was breathless and it was several minutes before either of them managed to say anything.

"I'm all wet now," Vala complained, gesturing at the water they were both sat in, "and dirty,"

Daniel raised his eyebrow at her; however the expression was completely ruined by the smile on his face "I can't believe you just did that,"

"You're the one that grabbed me," she said, plucking a leaf from her hair then freezing when she felt something brush passed her in the water, "what was that?"

Daniel looked "fish," he replied and he wasn't sure why she decided to them splash water all over him, "what was that for?"

"You were laughing at me again,"

"No I wasn't," he defended himself, standing up and looking down at himself; how was he going to drive home like that? Climbing out of the stream and back onto dry land he twisted the hem of his shirt in his hands to try and ring some of the water out.

"Yes you were," she said, holding out her hand for him to pull her up which he did without saying anything.

As they reached the top of the bank they had fallen down Vala headed straight for the spilt container of fruit and quickly gathered them all up again, hugging it to her chest she shivered slightly "I'm cold now,"

"I'd offer you my jacket but for some reason it's now _soaked_," he said pointedly.

Vala just smiled innocently at him.

* * *

The boy at the gate had gone by the time they exited the plantation and Daniel was glad because he wasn't sure how exactly he was supposed to explain why both he and Vala were soaking wet. He'd thought that _walking _in wet clothes was uncomfortable; he'd done it before off-world because for as much good as the USAF ponchos were they were nothing against the flash floods, gale force winds and torrential down pours of other planets. Ten minutes into the drive back home he was acutely aware of how much he preferred _walking _in wet clothes to _driving_ in them.

Vala seemed to be dozing in the passenger seat and despite his original doubts, it had been fun, strange yes, and not likely to be anything he did again any time soon but it had been fun, even if only in the sense that Vala was no longer as depressed as she had seemed before. She mumbled something in her sleep that he didn't quite catch.

Now only to hope that Carolyn wasn't going to kill him as many times as he imagined she was going to want too.

* * *

There was a knock at the door and Daniel threw the towel on the chair and went to answer it whilst Vala finished showering.

"Jack?" he stepped aside to let his friend in, not that it seemed the older man had any intention of waiting for the invitation.

"Why does it smell like river water in here?" Jack said.

"You came all the way over here to see what my apartment smells like?"

Jack gave him a sarcastic look "what'd you do? Jump in a lake?"

"Stream actually," he replied "and more fell than jumped. What's wrong?"

Jack decided not to ask any more questions about that "so is she any better?"

"Seems to be – thanks for the help,"

Jack didn't seem to hear the last remark, or at least he didn't respond to it "good because Carolyn just chewed on my ass for it,"

"Take it she's after me too then?"

Jack looked mock-thoughtful "yes. Although I'd say she's more pissed at me for having 'coerced you' than at you for taking Vala out,"

Daniel didn't have chance to mention how strange it sounded to hear him say the word 'coerce' as Vala walked into the room and started talking to Jack leaving him to go and put some coffee on before they made the inevitable journey back to the infirmary.

* * *

"Why have I even got to be in this thing? We've spent all afternoon walking around."

"Because Carolyn's already mad enough at me for having taking you off the mountain, at the very least she might not yell loud enough to do permanent damage if you're in the wheelchair." Daniel replied smoothly.

"I can walk,"

"I know you can," he placated her "I just don't want you too,"

"You're not my boss," she snapped huffily, leaning back in the chair and then forwards again when she realised she was only moving closer to him by doing that.

Daniel opened his mouth to reply but Shyla's voice ringing down the corridor had him turning to both himself and Vala to face her "Shyla,"

"Daniel," she said a little breathlessly "I would just like to say that I am extremely sorry for the events of this morning. I did not know, if I had I would never have tried-"

He shook his head "it doesn't matter. I should have told you,"

"I just assumed that-"

"Shyla, its fine. No harm done."

"I hope that we can still remain friends Daniel," she glanced nervously at Vala who seemed to take it as a challenge of sorts and glared at her.

"So do I," he smiled at her.

"I hope you can forgive me also Vala," Shyla said pleasantly, "and that you feel well again soon,"

Vala opened her mouth to say something but Daniel cut her off "she does,"

"I do not!"

"Sit down," he instructed calmly, putting a hand on her shoulder and forcing her to do so.

"I'm not an invalid!" Vala snapped indignantly, making another valiant attempt to stand up but the slight pressure Daniel applied on her shoulder made her sit down again but not without glaring up at him with an expression of fury that only seemed to make him smile.

"I never said you were," he replied softly, nodding at Shyla who was watching them with a vague expression of amusement on her face.

She hated being in the wheelchair, as much as she hated having to have someone help her, including Daniel, with things she knew she was more than capable of doing herself but it seemed no one on the base wanted to believe that.

"I don't want to go back to the infirmary," she said quietly, as Daniel hit the elevator button for level twenty-one.

Daniel didn't say anything and she didn't continue. She was cold but not in the sense that she needed an extra layer on but frozen to the bone and she'd felt like that since the rescue from Adria's ship. She wanted to curl up in a corner and cry at the same time as she wanted to run as fast and as far as she could, it didn't matter where.

"Vala?" Daniel asked gently, crouching in front of her as they had, obviously, at some point come to a halt inside the cubicle she had been designated and escaped from a few hours ago "are you-?" he was cut off as she seized a handful of his shirt and pulled him to her, kissing him with such force it hurt for a moment, he was too shocked to do anything for the first few seconds of the kiss and when he finally managed to move again he pulled back a little too roughly, his hands either side of her face "what was that?"

She shook her head in dismissal, it had been quick, too brief to actually have the affect she had wanted it too have, she needed… needed… God what did she need? She wanted something… sex. The fix all, cure all, remedy of all of life's little upsets; fast, hard and with no room for any thought to get a grasp on reality. Soft and gentle meant love and protection and safety, she didn't want that.

And it irritated her to no end that her plan had not worked and, in all honesty, never really stood a chance of succeeding in the first place; Daniel wouldn't let her bury her problems with sex, he was too sweet for that, hell he seemed to love sex as much as the next guy but one of the most annoying thing about him was the fact he wouldn't go into anything like that when either of them was emotionally 'unstable' and he certainly wasn't about to in the middle of the infirmary.

"Vala?" he prompted again when she struggled to her feet, he followed her example and stood still when she turned her back on him.

"Go away Daniel,"

"No,"

"Daniel…" she sighed, arms folded across her chest; almost turning into a self hug that she refused to initiate with him watching.

He reached out for her arm; hurt when she flinched then shied away "what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she shifted "I'm fine. Just go away."

He reached for her again, startled when she jumped away from him a cry of "don't touch me!" out before she could stop it. She stood facing him now, eyes bright and her arms tense around her torso "please don't touch me," she whispered tearfully; her eyes squeezed shut as she backed into the corner, pressing herself against the wall as if trying to make herself disappear.

A soft, low keening sound started and Daniel stood, frozen on the spot as she slid to the floor, legs bent up to her chest as she seemed to use them as shield to hide behind, "don't touch me, don't touch me, please, please don't touch me…"

"I won't…" he swallowed "I won't touch you… just… Vala please look at me."

"I said no!" she moved forwards with the momentum given when her hands flew to the floor, nails scraping against the floor as she fixed a piercing gaze on him "I said no Adria!"

"Adria?" he crouched down where he was, not taking his eyes off of her "I'm not Adria,"

"I won't tell you, I don't know, I don't know, stay away from me!" she screamed in agony at the end of her sentence and Daniel was vaguely aware of nurses and Carolyn rushing over, flinging open the curtain and freezing on the spot when they saw the duo on the floor, "you can't have them," she shook her head, dark hair falling across her face "you can't have them, Lexy's mine! You can't have her!"

He scooted slightly closer to her but she shrieked and flung herself into the wall again and screamed, breaking down in tears as it trailed off.

"You mustn't touch her… Daniel! Daniel!" she shouted at the ceiling, her hands scraping through her hair and halting at her neck, face buried into her raised knees "he never did anything to you! Stop it! Leave them alone, I'll… I said no! I s-said no…" she sobbed harshly and anything she said after that was drowned out by her own pitiful wails.

Glancing up at Carolyn who looked just as confused as he felt Daniel looked back at his wife, crawling ever so slowly over to sit in front of her, feeling himself relax marginally when she didn't pull away as he wrapped his arms around her. She practically threw herself at him, climbing into his lap and crying into his chest as he stroked her hair and whispered words that made no sense but appeared to be calming.

At Daniel's pointed nod of dismissal Carolyn sent the nurses on their way, hesitating until Daniel looked back to the woman in his arms; the signifier that she was welcome to stay if she wanted too.

There was silence for a long while and it was even longer before Daniel made any noise of discomfort, Vala had long since been stolen by sleep and even as he lifted her and deposited her carefully on the bed he seemed uncomfortable with doing so.

"What was that?" Carolyn whispered as she pulled the comforter up over Vala's tense frame.

"I think…" he licked his lips carefully "I think…"

"Yes?"

"I don't know." He answered decisively "I really don't know."

Carolyn nodded, she had been all prepped to scold, admonish and quite possibly shout at the both of them but now, after having seen that… "What did you do?"

"What?" he asked, almost as if he thought she was accusing him of what had just happened.

"When you took her out, where did you go?"

"The museum," he replied "and then raspberry picking,"

The friend in her smiled "anything unusual happen?"

He gave her a funny look.

"I'm serious,"

He sighed "not really no,"

"So just then… that was the first time she'd done that? She didn't do anything similar whilst you were out?"

Daniel shook his head slowly then froze.

"Daniel?"

"I'm going to see Adria," and he left without another word.

* * *

"What did you do to her?" Daniel exclaimed as he stormed into Adria's holding cell.

"Hello to you too Doctor Jackson," Adria greeted him, eyes widening a little almost in disgust at his apparent lacking ability to control his temper, after a pause she slid to her feet gracefully "you are no better than I,"

"Excuse me?"

"You want your wife, I want my mother and," she smiled sickly "I have more right to her than you do,"

"So what? You screw with her mind?"

Adria looked at him seriously "yes,"

"Why?"

"She's mine Daniel, her, Lexy and your dear grandpa," she sneered, stepping as close to the bars as possible.

"What are you trying to prove? That you're more powerful than we are because we already know that,"

Her lips quirked in amusement.

"Or is that just like seeing people get hurt? If you care about her _at all_ then you wouldn't do this – whatever 'this' is – to her,"

"I am simply trying to make her understand,"

"She thought I was you! She got so confused, so _upset_ that she thought I was _you_!"

"I'm sorely tempted to say that I'm offended by that statement Doctor Jackson," Adria replied silkily.

He said nothing.

"I've done far worse," Adria admitted, her voice gentle but her expression harsh "I wouldn't be worried,"

"Leave her alone,"

"I can't do that,"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I do what is necessary in order to achieve the full potential of each person. Mother just needs…. Extra guidance shall we say?"

"Daniel…" Carolyn shut the door behind her, edging into the room nervously and a little taken back by Adria's harsh gaze fixing on her momentarily before her lips turned into a smirk and she turned back to Daniel.

"How sweet," Adria said, "you have an army,"

"Has she woken up?" Daniel asked Carolyn without turning to face her.

"Yes but-"

Daniel nodded, turned and left the room, Carolyn hesitated only a moment before moving to follow.

* * *

"Hey," he said softly, brushing her hair back as she watched him through wide eyes "you okay now?"

Vala blinked "where is she?" she whispered.

Daniel felt himself tense involuntarily "she's in the holding cell. She hasn't left since she got here,"

Vala sat up abruptly "she was here… before… Daniel she was _here,_"

Daniel shook his head and turned her head to face him "she hasn't been in here,"

Vala looked confused for a minute, before wrapping her arms around his shoulders and hugging him tightly. Daniel's arms reflexively moved to do the same and he rubbed her back gently, feeling the heat of her skin through the flimsy hospital shirt burn his palm.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear "I really do,"

He pulled back a little to look at her "I know that," he assured her softly then he frowned "what's wrong?"

She moved back into his embrace and squeezed her eyes shut. She wasn't just cold now, she was freezing, it felt horrible; she didn't _want _to know anymore, she wanted to forget, and pretend it hadn't happened. After all that's what Adria had done wasn't it?

He felt her trembling intensify as he moved to sit on the bed next to her so it was more comfortable for both of them, it calmed again once he was settled. He didn't say anything, he couldn't think of anything anyway, 'it's okay' seemed pointless and 'I'm here' was ridiculous considering how tightly she was holding on to him.

Vala went to pull away again but Daniel wouldn't let her and after a moment of struggling and Daniel telling her to stop it she relaxed again "when I was on Adria's ship she… wanted something,"

"What?"

"Nick,"

"Why?"

"She wants what the Giant Aliens told him and at first she tried forcing me to tell her but I wouldn't so she tried something else."

Daniel was silent and Vala winced when she squeezed him a little to try and get him to say something and he refused too.

She took a breath and continued "she used some sort of hallucination – I thought it was a _dream_. She knows where Nick is, that's why she's here, it's why she agreed to come with you, she hasn't tried to get out yet because she wants _him_,"

He nodded and moved a hand up and down her back for a few minutes before Vala shrugged him off and continued with her voice catching in her throat.

"It didn't work the first time she tried and then… then something happened and I thought I'd woken up and… and… and…."

"Easy," he coaxed "slow down a bit,"

She pulled away, and he didn't stop her "I _died_ Daniel. She _killed _me and then she pretended like nothing had happened! Just carried on. _That's _what I forgot; that's what I couldn't remember. Adria _killed _me and I forgot!"

He was sure if it were possible his stomach would have hit the floor already by now. Dead. She'd been dead and he hadn't known. _None of them had known_. They'd been too slow, he'd told them she could be hurt but they'd said no and he'd had to force himself to belief that she wasn't just so he could keep searching because without searching then there was nothing and nothing was never good enough.

If they'd gotten there earlier… sooner… If he'd thought of something faster then –

Vala had gotten off the bed it seemed and had promptly swept the glass of water from the roll-a-way table onto the floor, "she killed me and just pretended like it wasn't real, like it never happened. She's my daughter! How could she do that? _Why_ would she do that?"

He scrambled off the bed and moved slowly over to her, she stepped back and he paused.

"I saw myself Daniel! On the bed, I watched her heal me, bring me back to life. _How could she do that?_"

"I'm sorry," he breathed "if-"

"It's not your fault!" she snapped "it's hers so don't even think about blaming yourself for it!"

He swallowed and nodded.

She then buried her face in her hands and Daniel moved forwards and went to hug her again, she pushed him away then stared at him and then down at her hands "I'm sorry… I didn't mean too I just…" the sobs that had built in her chest escaped and she couldn't force them back, her throat was too tight to talk through and her eyes ached that many tears were flooding them.

He hesitated before stepping closer, no sooner was he in reaching distance as she leant against his chest and simply let herself cry.

* * *

"I remember," Nick announced, walking in to Sam's lab.

Sam looked up "remember what?"

"What the Giant Alien's told me,"

Sam put down her pen "you do?"

Nick nodded enthusiastically "I know where the San Graal is," he declared proudly "I know how to destroy the Ori,"

_Author's Notes: This could probably have jumped into four but I say to hell with it because originally the past few chapters were meant to be one and I can't take it into a __**fourth**__ part! And just in case anyone decides to be picky (seriously __**bad **__pun there!) and say that there isn't any raspberry plantations in Colorado Springs; I never actually said where they were… ::shrugs::._

_Next Chapter: Nick's revelation sends the team off in search of the San Graal, only to find themselves with some both unexpected and unsavoury company along the way._


	42. Dress Rehearsal

_Disclaimer: A lot of the words used in this chapter are from 'The Quest Part 1 & 2. I don't own anything you recognise and some may have been modified to fit into context (and some of it said by different people!) and some of the events referred to are probably out of synch with the storyline (Ba'al etc) just… yeah._

_Author's Notes: As indicated above. This chapter has spoilers for The Quest Part 1 & 2 don't continue if you haven't seen the episode yet and don't want to be spoiled. Now I hope that this doesn't appear rushed but I really didn't want to have to rewrite the entire two-hour episode plus modifications as it would have just ended up incredibly long. And as for the 'next chapter' bit at the end of last chapter'?... changed… sorry this is way longer than I thought it would be and is looking at another three chapter split :P_

Chapter 42: Dress Rehearsal

Nick surveyed the room in front of him, the expectant faces staring back at him looked half-eager about what he had to tell them and half dubious about what he was going to say having any value whatsoever. He'd faced similar expressions giving lectures at universities and to his colleagues many a year ago and this time his claims could appear a little farfetched; a way to destroy the Ori was definitely going to be a little bit more than a blip on the radar.

"Doctor Ballard?" General Landry prompted.

Nick jumped "ah yes, of course," he looked down to the notes he half expected to be in his hands but as they weren't there he settled with folding them neatly in front of him and smiling a little. "Cameron, could you get the lights?"

Cam looked a little disgruntled but got to his feet and did as he was told.

"Thank you," he said as Mitchell took his seat again, muttering something to Daniel as he sat down that made both of them smile; Nick decided to ignore it. "On your trip to the Pegasus Galaxy you encountered an interactive hologram-" he took the remote handed to him and pressed a button, images flickering to life on the screen behind him.

"Morgan La Fay," Vala piped up, glancing at Daniel as if seeking his approval, he just nodded and turned back to the screen.

"Right," Nick smiled at her pleasantly. "You have been searching for the location of the San Graal – not very well I might add." He gave General Landry a pointed look that was supposed to be discreet but didn't make it, he tapped the screen as a distraction "the pyramid is a visual representation of 'three into one.' Three addresses into one."

Daniel looked up at this point; suddenly intrigued as if it was all starting to make sense to him as well. Nick couldn't help but give him a smug smile.

"That's what that Morgan was trying to tell you; that the San Graal is located on a planet whose address is made up of symbols from each of those three worlds, Castiana, Sahal, and Vagon Brei."

Nick wasn't sure he could possibly have felt more satisfied as several jaws dropped. He waited a moment before continuing "Sam?"

Sam nodded and got to her feet, moving to stand with him and taking the remote from his hand and fiddled with it absently. "When Nick originally told me about his…" she searched for the appropriate word.

"Dream,"

She glanced at her companion before back at the occupants of the briefing table "dream. I used a programme to cross-reference the addresses in the database with those of Castiana, Sahal and Vagon Brei, searching out planetary designations made up of the symbols from all three addresses. Given the number of symbols and the amount of addresses in the database I assumed we would have been looking at dozens, maybe hundreds, of permutations but," she clicked a button and a new slide flicked onto screen "there was only one," she tapped the screen "this one,"

"Let me catch up here," Cam said, leaning onto his elbows "are you trying to tell us that that is the address to the planet which has a weapon capable of killing the Ori on it?"

"Uh huh," Sam nodded, smiling "that's it,"

* * *

"Are you _sure?"_

"For the thousandth time Daniel; yes I'm sure,"

"Carolyn only released you two days ago…"

"Must we go through this every time I go off world?" Vala sighed, patience waning as she turned to face him.

"I'm just a little concerned that's all." He spoke quietly as if realising that his pestering off her was getting a little annoying and that he should really just take her answer for what it was because if she _wasn't _going then he'd have only tried to convince her; it was complicated.

"I want to do this Daniel. I _need _too,"

He didn't bother to remind her that was exactly what she had said before.

* * *

"She will be fine Vala Maldoran," Teal'c assured the young woman as she handed her daughter over to him, "if I require any assistance I will ask Doctor Lam, or General O'Neill," 

Teal'c wasn't going on the mission; Adria had to be interrogated again and as much as she knew that Daniel had, for some reason, wanted to have a part in that General Landry had said no. Daniel's connection to the situation was too deep for him to allow it and so Teal'c had offered to do so and that was a small comfort to them all. As whilst Adria was unlikely to feel at all intimidated by the jaffa he was the least likely to subconsciously allow himself to fall into the psychological traps and pitfalls the Orisi set up.

Vala herself had volunteered at one point, more out of duty than actually wanting too have anything to do with the SGC's current captive. But every member of SG1 jumped in at that point in the briefing and began making so many protests that Landry had told them to 'kindly; shut the hell up'.

"Relax," Jack smiled reassuringly, appearing at the jaffa's elbow "Spacemonkey junior'll be fine,"

"Please tell me you didn't just call her 'Spacemonkey Junior'." Daniel cringed and turned as his checked something on his P-90 at the same time Sam just smiled at the four of them.

Jack just grinned, before gesturing at Mitchell and muttering "listen up kids," as they turned focus their attention on Cam.

"Ready to do this?" Cam asked.

"I am!" Nick declared walking briskly into the 'gate room, fully dressed in the appropriate clothing and patting his sidearm with fervent regularity.

"Nick I don't think-"

"Of course I'm going Daniel! I _am_ the one who knows where the San Graal is,"

"Well if you'd just tell us…" he muttered to himself.

Nick ignored him and looked to Mitchell for acceptance; the Colonel just looked up at the control room "sir?"

"He has a point Mitchell," the General conceded.

And that was apparently all the assurance that Cam needed because he nodded to Vala to as if she was ready to go before heading up the 'gate ramp, his team on his heels.

* * *

"This is going well," Nick said brightly as they pressed even further down the path they had taken after leaving the village they had found the other side of the wormhole. 

The villagers they had encountered had been helpful and although confused by their presence they hadn't been put off by them, merely… curious. However the news that jaffa had already passed through with a man who 'clearly commanded their fear and respect' was disconcerting at best and down right worrying at worst; Daniel's revelation that it was more than likely Ba'al made matters in even more concerning.

"If that's what you call it," Mitchell replied.

"Do you actually have any idea where we're going?" Vala said, breathlessly and obviously agitated by Nick's vague instructions.

"Of course," Nick replied indignantly.

"We should have just stolen the map," she leaned against a nearby tree for a second, forcing the team to stop.

"No," Nick turned to face her "I know where we are going,"

Vala watched him sceptically for a moment before suddenly pushing herself upright again "lead on Macduff," smirking to herself at the matching expressions of surprise on Daniel and Sam's faces at the Shakespeare reference.

They hadn't got much further before Cam stopped dead in his tracks "what the hell?" he looked at Sam as she produced a device from her pack and fiddled with it for a few seconds "what's the matter with them?" he gestured at the scene in front of them; people and animals alike frozen in position in a way that made Mitchell's abrupt stop look almost amusing.

"I don't know. I'm picking up varying anomalous readings," she moved amongst the stationary villagers "stronger here… weaker here… and then rising again. Well this is weird; they're temporal fluctuations."

For the benefit of all involved Cam prompted "meaning…?"

"Meaning these people are trapped in a time distortion field."

"Are you sure?" Vala interrupted "if it's a time distortion field, why are the leaves moving in the trees," as if to accentuate her point she pointed,

Sam shrugged "it could be an illusion designed to reproduce the standing weather pattern. These readings indicate the time within the field is extremely decelerated. I mean, these people may look like they're standing perfectly still," she glanced at Mitchell "but in fact, they're moving, imperceptibly slowly.

"Do they know what's happening?" Daniel asked.

"Doubtful. Several years may pass on our side of the field in the one pr two seconds it takes them to even take on step.

"Why don't we just go around it?" Cam decided to bypass the scientific explanations, as intriguing as they were, and work on the solution to the problem at hand.

"Well, the outer edge of the field extends as far as I can tell in either direction, and it has a slight curve to it. I mean, for all I know it would form a complete circle." Off Cam's impatient expression "we could walk for miles and never find a way through,"

Cam sighed "Sam, if you've got another idea, I'd love to hear it,"

Determined to find a solution Sam glanced down at the device in her hands again "well, I'm definitely picking up carried readings. It's almost as if…" she paused and scanned the area again, a slow smile flickering to life on her lips before disappearing completely "I think I may have found a way in,"

Vala gave her an expectant look and Sam nearly stumbled over her words trying to explain "there's a circuitous path of real time winding through the temporal field."

Mitchell looked out across the clearing as it dawned on him "it's a maze…"

Sam nodded "yeah,"

Louder, Cam repeated himself "it's a maze!"

"These readings are unmistakable. I can use them to guide us through. Follow my lead," she tried, and failed, to sound anything _but _ominous as she continued "if you stray off the path you could wind up trapped in the distortion field,"

Vala jumped behind Cam as he took point behind Carter and Daniel and Nick fell into step as well. They hadn't taken many paces before Sam signalled them to stop, Vala stumbled into Mitchell's back but he didn't seem to notice, they then turned sharply right and as they did so Vala took a hold of Cam's pack to stop herself almost falling again. Sam slowed again, hesitated to her left but then backtracked and went right instead.

"Uh-oh," Sam said suddenly, the 'doom and gloom' she had kept from her voice before creeping it's way in.

"What do you mean, 'uh-oh'?" Vala asked, almost accusatory.

"'Uh-oh, you left your stove on' right? Mitchell asked, not really giving her choice to argue.

Sam pointed at the blank screen "temporal distortions are affecting these readings… we're blind."

There was silence for a few moments before Cam spoke up again "okay, here's a stupid question; you did check the batteries in that thing before you left Stargate Command, right?"

Sam answered as if weren't the stupid question it definitely was "it's not the batteries,"

Suddenly feeling the beginnings of claustrophobia nagging at the corners of her mind Vala suggested that the retrace their steps, only for Sam to ask her if she knew the way back; she didn't.

Seeing her friend's discomfort Sam gave her a small smile of encouragement.

"We could guess," Vala said lightly.

"We have to be exact. Any deviation from the path of real time and we wind up frozen like the rest of these people."

"If Morgan La Fay left clues as to the whereabouts of the San Graal then we should assume that she thought that someone would eventually reach it. It stands to reason that the tasks would be challenging," Apparently this didn't sway his team mates and Daniel continued "she set this trap to weed out those she deemed unworthy. There is a way out." He reassured them "we just have too…" he selected his next words carefully "be resourceful and carefully think it through,"

Catching his drift Vala added "well, Arthur and his knights would have had access to this advanced technology to guide them through, so, presumably the answer could be deceptively simple,"

Sam nodded slowly before leaning down to pick a rock up off the floor in front of them, she threw it forwards and it stopped a few feet away in mid flight. "Follow me," she looked back at her team who immediately fell back into order and did as they were told. "Dead end," she announced as threw another rock to the left and it stopped almost instantly, she threw another to the right and carried on "you're right.," she didn't look back as she spoke "deceptively simple,"

Vala looked back at Daniel and smiled, delightedly at him.

Moments later Sam announced that they were through "we'd better pick up the pace if we want to cut into Ba'al's lead."

They walked in silence until they reached a new clearing.

"Abandoned me…" the familiar voice, its accent as warm as ever – a direct contrast to the true nature of its source – sounded almost petulant in it's muttering.

Sam and Mitchell shared a glance and stepped forward slowly, the other three following as quietly as possible.

"I don't believe they abandoned me… they're going to pay. All of them are going to pay…" his mumbling was not unlike that of a particularly spoiled seven year old plotting revenge against his parents for refusing him cookies before dinner.

Cam gestured at his team and they nodded their understanding before leaping forwards, their weapons raised, Ba'al's cry of warning was a fraction of a second too late as a circle appeared around them briefly before dissipating; a sure fire indication of a shield activating.

Ba'al sighed "well make yourselves comfortable. We're going to be here a while."

Cam gave him an odd look, walking over to the now invisible barrier and hitting it pointedly, but also half heartedly as if he knew it wasn't going to work.

"It won't do you any good," Ba'al drawled "believe me I've tried; it's a one-way door,"

"How long have you been trapped in here?" Sam asked.

Ba'al glared at her for asking him to humiliate himself "three agonizingly tedious days. Which reminds me – I don't suppose you have any food?"

Vala pointed at the chest Ba'al was next too "what's that?"

Ba'al glanced at it before looking back at her "that's bait." He said venomously, as if he hated it almost as much as he hated no longer being a revered System Lord "when I approached to investigate, I unwittingly triggered the trap."

"You've had the ancient database for months, why did it take you so long to get here?" Sam pointed out.

"I can't think clearly on an empty stomach." He said, in a thinly veiled attempt at coercing some sympathy from his co-captives.

Sam pulled out a protein bar, waved it teasingly before throwing it towards him; it went clear past to Mitchell.

Ba'al sighed "I only possessed two of the three addresses needed to complete the puzzle. As a result I had significantly more possibilities to investigate. By process of elimination I was left with one prospect and when I went in search of the planet it wasn't there."

Sam frowned "What do you mean it wasn't there?"

Ba'al sighed at her incompetence "it wasn't where it was supposed to be. I calculated its position, I sent my ships to it's approximate location, but they couldn't find it."

Vala glanced at Daniel who shrugged before she opened the chest only to find that it was empty. Ba'al spared them only a glance "in the end my only resource was to access it via the Stargate and secure the device with a handful of my jaffa and when I became trapped here they set off in means of in search of a means of freeing me." He spoke through gritted teeth "they have yet to return."

Satisfied Mitchell passed him the bar as Daniel and Vala searched the box over in search of a hidden compartment or some sort of indictor as to its point.

"You're wasting your time." Ba'al said around a mouthful of protein bar "I've had three days to search for a way out of here. There's nothing inside."

"Well that's the point," Nick said abruptly.

Ba'al raised his eyebrows quizzically at him "and you would be…?"

" Jackson's grandpa," Cam said absently.

Ba'al looked between the two of them "the resemblance is uncanny," he said sarcastically.

"The parchment of virtues told us that we'd have to rely on five things in order to reach the San Graal. Prudence, wisdom, charity, kindness and faith," he listed them off on his fingers as he recalled the document they had managed to look at briefly in the village library.

Vala gave him a sceptical look "you're saying the parchment was intended to be interpreted literally?"

Daniel shrugged "why not? We were able to make our way through the time dilation field by patiently and carefully negotiating the maze. In other words we demonstrated prudence as opposed to recklessness which would have stranded us. So ask yourselves… what does this trap exploit?"

Ba'al spoke first "curiosity,"

Daniel nodded "greed. A person approaches a chest expecting to find treasure inside but instead finds nothing and gets trapped for his trouble,"

Once more Vala cottoned on before anyone else "so in order to reverse the trap, you have to reverse the impetus,"

"Right. The opposite of greed is charity; on of the virtues mentioned in the parchment,"

"Instead of taking something, something must be sacrificed," Nick summarised.

Daniel pulled out a pen and dropped it into the chest, Vala closed it and Cam hit the barrier only to find the same result as before.

"Well that was an interesting theory," Ba'al said mockingly.

Daniel quickly elaborated on his plan "well, we're all trapped. So we all have to contribute something."

Cam threw in his hat, Carter throwing in a similar item. Nick threw Daniel a pencil which was also placed in the chest; he then looked at Vala who was rummaging through her bag in search of an item she was willing to part with, she pulled out her hairdryer and Daniel stared at her as if she was insane "no…" she said to herself, continuing her search but Daniel seized the item and put it in the chest.

"I'll buy you a new one," he muttered for only her to hear and any arguments he had died on her lips and she grinned her agreement.

They all turned to look at Ba'al and after a moment of silence Daniel cleared his throat.

"I have nothing to offer," Ba'al looked resentful as Mitchell held him place and Nick patted him down, producing a knife "that particular item holds great sentimental value," he protested as Cam passed it to Daniel and he put it in the box and shut it, instantaneously the shield came down, "well done," he said half sarcastically "another day in there I would have gone mad,"

"Guess that makes it time to say goodbye," Cam pointed his P-90 at him.

Ba'al looked momentarily panicked "it would be foolish of you to kill me,"

"How so?" Mitchell didn't look at all fazed.

"I know the name of the protector of the San Graal,"

"Protector?" Vala asked.

"The dragon,"

"_Dragon?_" the team exclaimed in unison.

Nick gave them a pointed look "the guardian of the San Graal?" he said then sighed exasperatedly "you read the parchment!" he pointed an accusatory finger at Daniel.

"It's not a dragon," Sam sounded certain "probably a hologram.

Cam didn't look convinced "holograms can be dangerous you know,"

Daniel pitched in "could be a ship. Flies, breathes fire, has armoured skin. It's a mistake a medieval storyteller could easily make,"

"And if it's based on technology," Ba'al looked decidedly smug "the name is no doubt a password or a command code. Either way, if you want it, you'll have to take me with you,"

Cam turned and spoke quietly to his team mates "you know, I hate to say this, but…" he paused for dramatic effect "he could prove useful," he barely glanced at Ba'al "come on," and they set off once more.

_Author's Notes: Okay so I'm sorry that not much of that is my own words and it'll probably be that way for the next chapter as well, I hope you liked it anyway :) _

_Next Chapter:_ _"We agreed there's no such thing as a dragon, right?"_


	43. Curtain Up

_Disclaimer: If you recognise it, it's not mine._

_Author's Notes: Sorry about the typos in last chapter and thank you too those of you __who pointed them out. As half of it is script it got a little complicated and I was kinda distracted when I wrote it – a hundred and one things to think about at the moment, but that should all be over now considering that other than one exam on Wednesday I have nothing else that should be hanging over my head as that is my last exam and the prom was on Saturday. :)_

Chapter 43: Curtain Up

As the team continued on their way Ba'al fell into step beside Daniel and Vala glanced back for a second only looking away when she realised that Daniel wasn't going to look at her.

"Yet again we find ourselves the unlikeliest of allies joined together in common purpose," Ba'al's voice was low and purposefully grating.

"You know," Daniel started conversationally "the word 'allies' implies some sort of partnership and that just isn't the case here. You see, we are going after the San Graal, while you," he looked at him serenely "are just tagging along for the ride." He bit back a smirk of satisfaction as Ba'al slowed to an almost stop and he skipped a step and went to continue his trek with his team-mates.

"The San Graal is hidden in a cave beneath a single mountain," Nick pointed straight up ahead where a mountain fitting the description was located.

"Right. We're getting warm," Cam said.

As they approached the cave entrance Nick stood in the doorway and spread his arms delightedly "this is it," he announced happily, ignoring Ba'al as he raised a sceptical eyebrow before rolling his eyes and settling on looking as bored as possible.

"Let's go then," Cam gestured into the inky depths of the cavern with his P-90 and waited for everyone else to file in, in front of him. Sam taking point and Ba'al only two steps in front of him. The man obviously irritated by the fact that he was being observed to closely and yet, thankfully or not, staying quiet as Mitchell had his weapon trained on the former System Lord's back.

The path was dark and the flashlights on their weapons flickered in spectrums against the walls of the tunnels, all too soon they came to a fork in the road, scratches on the wall had Daniel stepping forwards and pointing his torch at them.

"Ancient; 'choose the way that is just and true'." He read.

"Ooh! It's a riddle! I'm good at these," she either didn't notice or didn't care for the look Daniel was shooting her "um… 'The way that is just and true'… just and true…" she pointed right "it's telling us to go that way. The way is just and true that is." She took a few steps down that path "the 'right' way,"

Daniel grabbed her arm and pulled her back to his side.

"Ow!" she exclaimed emphatically, more for the fact she didn't appreciate him manhandling her over him actually hurting her.

"The writing's in Ancient," he explained, relinquishing his hold.

"So?" she made a point of rubbing her arm and glaring at him.

"So in Ancient the word meaning 'just and true' is very different from the word meaning 'right' as in 'opposite of left'-" he frowned as a muffled sound cut him off.

"Did you hear that?" Sam's gaze flicked down the left corridor.

"It sounds like a child," Nick said after a few seconds of listening to the soft crying "this way," he started off down the path and the team had no choice but to follow.

"A child in here?" Vala said, "It's obviously a trap,"

"Or quite possibly a test," Daniel intoned.

"A test of what?" Ba'al looked at Vala "our stupidity?"

Vala was deliberating over whether or not to stick her tongue out at him, as it seemed sorely appropriate, when the child ran off.

"Hey kid… kid… wait up!" Cam called as they followed him "hey, slow down little guy,"

"We're walking right into a trap," Ba'al offered lazily.

"No we're not. The parchment provided us with clues to reach the San Graal. It mentioned kindness as one of the virtues that would guide us. So if we show kindness by helping this child it should bring us one step closer to the device," Daniel corrected him calmly.

"Did the parchment also not mention wisdom which we would be demonstrating by avoiding this trap," his sentence was punctuated by a heavy thud.

Mitchell stopped by the gate as the approached it, the child was trapped behind it, crying "hang on kid. We'll get you out of there,"

Immediately the team tried to pull the gate upwards but it wouldn't move "a little help here!" Mitchell snapped.

"He's tiny. Have him squeeze through the bars." Ba'al objected.

"I suggest you help us," Nick said, sounding more threatening than anyone would have thought possible.

Begrudgingly Ba'al went to help "your grandfather's manners leave much to be desired," he said dryly to Daniel as slowly the gate started to move and he was forced into putting even more effort in.

Daniel chose not to point out that the Goau'ld had hardly been renowned for theirs. The gate finally shifted and no sooner had it done so and the boy grinned then vanished, another entrance appeared further down the corridor.

"Well how's about that?" Mitchell said as they walked along it, coming to a wall "it's a dead end," he announced turning back to his team.

"We should go back," Ba'al suggested more than a little insistently.

"No. It doesn't make any sense that we would have progressed this far only to come up empty," she moved her P-90 around, it's light source settling on an area of the wall, more engravings had her calling Daniel over.

"It's another riddle," he said, eyes skimming across the text."

"Ooh! Goody!" Vala ran over, accidentally knocked Cam as she did so before leaning around her husband to get a better look.

Daniel read out from the wall "I'm struck and cut, shaped and cooled, then bound by rings to release what's stored,"

He had barely finished his sentence when rocks started to fall from the ceiling and a low rumbling sound echoed from the cave walls "you might want to pick things up a little bit here,"

"All right," Vala said, trying to take control of the situation, pleased when she was allowed "well we have to think it through. What's struck and cut and shaped and cooled and then bound by rings? Bound by rings…"

"Key!" Cam exclaimed, side stepping a larger rock as it made beeline for his head "the answer's key,"

"Uh…" Daniel thought for a moment "clavia!"

The wall disappeared and the team ran down the corridor as the cave continued to collapse, they came to another wall, another riddle etched into it.

"I shake the earth with booming thunder, fell forest whole and homes complete. I influence ships, topple kings, sweep down swift, yet remain unseen,"

"Oh wait. I've got this. Uh… suggesting a strong yet invisible force…uh…" as she had proved to be rather unhelpful in regards to the previous riddle she was determined to try and be more so with this one and yet nothing of use was coming to mind.

"Wind," Sam said suddenly.

"What?" Cam turned to her.

"The answer to the riddle; its wind," Sam repeated.

"Ventio," Daniel said; the wall opened and they moved on to try and escape the falling rocks and debris from above, however his celebration lasted all of ten seconds as they reached yet another riddle engraved into the stonework.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Cam sighed heavily.

"Battle-scared in times of strife, resistant to…" Daniel leaned closer to the wall and frowned "resistant to…"

"To what?" Vala snapped, bouncing on the balls of her feet and glancing around concerned at the state of the cave.

"I don't know. I… I can't translate this section of the text."

They shared a brief look before Vala spoke again "nevertheless, 'battle scarred' would suggest-"

"Contegia!" Nick shouted urgently; the threat of the cave collapsing looming over their heads. The rumbling stopped instantly.

A moment of silence followed his exclamation and Cam broke it as it began to edge into unnerving "looks like that's done it,"

"You know. Come to think of it; riddles never really were my strong point," Vala said thoughtfully as the team headed off again "visual puzzles, like 'which of these symbols does not belong with the others' or 'reconfigure the tiles to make the hidden picture..." she trailed off when she realised no one was actually listening.

"Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?" Cam said.

As she followed them around the corner Vala added "well not that you mention it," she came to a stop behind the team "it is a tad toasty,"

Mitchell and Daniel felt around the wall by the wall of fire in front of them for a trigger or another door as there did not seem to be any other way through as the blaze blocked their path entirely.

"Hey, you got anything?"

"No. You?"

Cam stopped "no, but I'm getting a good tan." He ran the back of his hand across his forehead, then brushed his hair back, making it stand up in disorganized spikes, "let's take a break,"

"Okay," Daniel wasn't about to argue and they headed off to join the rest of them team who were standing several feet further away where it was subsequently cooler.

Off Sam's expectant look Cam said; "there are no hidden or secret passages. If there's a way through; we didn't find it,"

Ba'al sighed exasperatedly "then I suppose we should head back," he retorted almost absently.

As if she was actually considering that option Sam looked down the path they had come from "not an option. The passageways have re-sealed behind us,"

"Then I was right." Ba'al sighed "we walked right into a trap,"

"No. We made all the right choices to lead us to this point. I know the San Graal lies beyond that wall of fire. We just have to find a way through."

"It's the only one left," Daniel muttered, walking closer to the fire.

"Daniel?" Sam asked.

"The parchment told us that five virtues would guide us in our quest for the San Graal; prudence, kindness, charity, wisdom and faith. Now, we displayed prudence in finding a way out of the temporal maze, charity, in escaping the force field trap, kindness by helping the child and finding the hidden passageway and wisdom in solving the riddles. The only virtue left is faith." Daniel was speaking as if he was talking to himself and with absolutely no warning he walked straight into the hungry flames.

"Daniel!" Sam cried out at the same time as Cam yelled "Jackson!"

The wall of fire disappeared and there were no indicators left to say it had ever existed, no one moved even when they could see Daniel was perfectly fine on the other side until Vala rushed forwards and punched him none to gently on the arm "you idiot," she hissed and he gave her a half smile in return and her fury dissipated some what.

"Say nothing,' Nick walked passed Ba'al, looking at him pointedly.

Sam avoided looking at the ex-System Lord all together as she followed him into the large room ahead of them, they stopped soon after entering and it took Sam a moment to figure out why; a narrow pathway wound it's way over a dark abyss towards the center of the room.

"There it is; we've found it. Ours for the taking," Ba'al took an eager step forwards.

"Hang on," Cam picked up a rock and dropped it over the edge, realizing what he was trying to ascertain the depth of the chasm the group stayed quiet; there was no sound of the rock hitting the bottom "yeah, that's pretty deep,"

"I'll go," Daniel said, determinedly looking straight ahead and at all costs refusing to look down into the depths the bridge was over.

Nick did not look pleased at being left behind "we both go," he said insistently and felt much more relaxed when Daniel nodded without even looking at him.

"Don't look down," Vala offered as both men began a steady trek across the bridge "take your time,"

Daniel nodded his acknowledgement of what she had said when he felt her staring at his back.

"Problem?" Nick asked quietly, methodically placing one foot in front of the other.

"Minor issue with heights," Daniel replied tersely.

"Just don't-"

"I got it," he waved off the concern or whatever it was that was tainting Nick's voice and a few steps later they were on firmer ground, they stood either side of the pedestal, the San Graal resting on top of it.

"Take it," Nick said.

Frowning at the urgency in his grandfather's voice Daniel replied slowly "after you,"

"Daniel," Nick said warningly.

"What?"

"Take it!"

Daniel gave him an odd look but went to grab the San Graal anyway but his hand went straight through, he glanced up at Nick but the room started to rumble, rocks falling in an entirely too familiar fashion.

"Jackson, Nick _move_ _it!_"

They made it back across the bridge at a much faster pace than the one they had original crossed it with, the rest of the team turned for the entrance but it closed, trapping them as Nick and Daniel approached them. Anything anyone might have said then was drowned out by a distant screeching roar echoing off the walls.

"What the hell is that?" Cam asked reluctantly as they turned around to face the source of the noise as heavy flapping sounds accompanied the roaring.

"We agreed there's no such thing as a dragon, right?" Vala said/

"Yeah," Cam said shakily.

"Hmm," Vala looked up and hers widened, vaguely she heard weapons being armed around her, the dragon screeched again, louder "'coz that looks pretty real to me,"

Fire billowed from the creature's mouth and the group scattered with various cries akin to the phrase 'look out'; as if no one had foreseen the distinct possibility of becoming barbequed, flying from their lips.

The dragon cried out as they got back to their feet and turns to knock them down with its tail.

"Whoa, heads up!" Cam shouted, the team ducking and the dragon's tail broke a hole in the wall behind them "move out!" he ushered Sam, Nick and Ba'al through before heading through himself, leaving Daniel and Vala to follow.

They stopped at the nearest cover and looked back down the corridor, panting Vala announced "he's too big to fit through the opening; I think we're safe."

Cam was not reassured and he stared as the dragon breathed fire down the corridor, flying towards them, its wings thudding a leathery beat as they bolted down the corridor, making a run for the next turning.

"Move!" Mitchell exclaimed, pushing his team to safety and throwing himself after them.

_Author's Notes: The next chapter for last chapter has changed again – sorry – but this was supposed to be, as I mentioned, one chapter and now we're looking at four: 'Dress Rehearsal' 'Curtain Up' 'Premier' and 'Showdown'. :P_

_Next chapter: Merlin's awake and he's willing to help the team._


	44. Breakfast at Merlin's

_Disclaimer: As before, if you know it, it's not mine and hopefully next chapter will be the end of my regurgitating of the script!_

_Author's Notes: Okay, evidently I'm not yet used to typing with tips on my nails because I keep hitting the wrong button, or missing it all together!_

Chapter 44: Breakfast at Merlin's

"Okay," Cam said, panting a little with exertion as they slowed to a halt after having managed to escape from the cave, "what the hell just happened back there?"

"It was a hologram." Daniel said, "The San Graal wasn't real."

"What?" Sam exclaimed "are you saying we came all this way for nothing?"

"We have to go back inside," Nick said earnestly.

"You must be joking," Ba'al replied, staring at him as if he was completely insane.

"The dragon is the final test,"

"It would be madness to challenge that thing,"

Any further conversation was halted as the sickening sound of rocks cracking and breaking pierced the perfect landscape around them and they all looked up to see the dragon free itself and make towards them at an alarming pace.

"I don't think we have a choice…," Cam said.

SG1 automatically spread out into a line, P-90's aimed and firing rapidly as the beast hovered above them and Nick and Ba'al backed behind them, seeking safety behind the onslaught of bullets piercing the air and having absolutely no effect on the dragon.

"Tree line!" Mitchell bellowed over the roar of gunfire and the team headed towards the trees, Sam and him covering the backs and still firing, even if it was pointless.

"So… now what?" Vala asked as they reached the momentary safety of the woodland.

"It can't see us as long as we stay in the trees. We should be able to make it back to the village." Ba'al offered.

"We're not going anywhere. Nick's right. It's the final test. We've come too far to give up now." Daniel stood firm.

Ba'al gave him a sarcastic look "it's just that kind of noble sentiment that's going to get us all killed.

"Aren't you the one that claimed to know the dragon's secret name?" Daniel turned to face him "time to earn your keep."

Thrown by the fact that his white lie had come back to bite him in the proverbial ass Ba'al stammered a moment "ah yes… I may have exaggerated about that slightly. Anyway you didn't think that just by calling out its name you'd suddenly be able to control it." He fixed Daniel with an incredulous look.

"I don't know," Daniel said slowly "name magic is common in most mythologies. To know something's secret name is to steal its power,"

"So what are we supposed to do?" Mitchell sighed, "just start guessing?"

"Darryl," Vala announced "the dragon."

"How about Smokey?" Cam joined in the teasing and Daniel dropped his head wearily.

"Perhaps… Puff," Nick's eyes twinkled in amusement.

"Would you just give me a minute?" Daniel snapped.

The dragon screeched over head "while we're waiting… options?" Cam posed the question to an open floor.

"Well we know the O-90 fire just bounced off its armour," Sam said

"Which means it's not a hologram. If it was the bullets would have gone straight through."

"So it's not that your weapons aren't ineffective, it's that they're ineffective in a different way." Ba'al said sarcasm practically dripping from his voice.

"What I am saying is that if the bullets bounce," Cam opened his pocket "maybe we should try something that packs a little more punch," he held up some C4 and caught Sam and Daniel's as they threw him theirs "right, here's what we're going to do. We're going to lure Darryl,"

Vala grinned at him.

"Down to the ground." He taped the C4 together "and we're going to take this thing and we're going to toss it underneath and detonate it near the expose underbelly. That's where dragon's are most vulnerable,"

Daniel shrugged in a way that either meant he didn't think there was any harm in trying or he thought that his team-mate had completely lost his mind and he couldn't be bothered to tell him so.

"Carter," Cam threw her the detonator "you detonate from the tree line and I," he got to his feet "will do the running," and not giving anyone time to protest he ran off into the clearing, firing into the air to get the dragon's attention.

'Darryl' swooped down over him and he dropped to the ground as the dragon sets itself down before him. Cam threw the C4 into the air and the dragon swallowed it. Sam detonated the C4 instantly and it exploded but seemed to have absolutely no affect on the dragon whatsoever.

"Son of a bitch," Nick muttered to himself.

"Oh no good," Sam added.

"Cameron run!" Vala screamed out and Cam got to his feet, sprinting back towards the trees as 'Daryl' chased after him.

"Hey Daniel!" Vala exclaimed "now would be a really good time."

"Okay…" he sounded more like he was talking to himself than to her, or indeed, anyone else "the first line of virtue said the San Graal belonged to he who speaks the Guardian's name. The Guardian's… name…"

"The Guardian is a dragon," Vala added in a way that she alone would have seen as helpful.

"No," Daniel said "the Guardian is not the dragon. The Guardian is the person who set this whole thing up. The Guardian is Morgan La Fey…"

"Right!" Vala jumped up and ran towards the dragon.

"Wait! No!" Daniel shouted after her but it was to no avail as she either didn't hear him or was completely ignoring her husband calls for her to stop.

"What the hell?" Cam asked breathlessly as he made it back just as Daniel took off after her.

"Wait!" Daniel called again.

Vala stopped in front of the dragon, out of breath and resisting the urge to clutch a the stitch in her side "hey! Morgan La Fey!"

The dragon stopped, growled and flapped it's wings angrily, no longer feeling so certain Vala said timidly "Darryl?"

Daniel reached Vala as the dragon rose in the air, preparing to dive down "Gennos Lal!" and the dragon disappeared in a flash of light.

"Wow," Cam muttered from where he was leaning against a tree.

Vala looked at Daniel, amazed "it's uh…" he took a breath "Morgan's name in… Ancient,"

"Yeah, I know."

"Thanks for the assist," Cam said sarcastically to Ba'al as his breathing became regular again.

Ba'al deflected his flippancy with well practiced ease "well to be honest I wouldn't have been much use to you. My strengths lie in strategy and command whereas yours lie in armed combat and dealing with… uh…"

Sam looked at him, "dragons?"

"Clearly," Ba'al answered crisply as they headed off again, back into the network of tunnels and caves.

Once back in the room the dragon had appeared in they had all crossed the beam and were standing around the dais, staring at the red gem on it in awe.

"It's real this time right?" Cam asked.

"I don't see why not," Daniel replied, attempting to pit it up but once again his hand went straight through.

Sam gave an exasperated cry "oh come on!"

A flash of light filled the room before and dissipated as quickly as it appeared, the room they appeared was dark until a few moments after their arrival and lights activated, bathing the room in a soft glow.

"Okay," Vala looked around "what just happened?"

"I think we were transported into another chamber."

"You know," Cam examined the room with over enthused scrutiny "I'm not seeing anything around here that looks like a San Graal,"

Sam slowed down as something in front of her was illuminated in a soft green glow.

"Which begets the question; what was she protecting?"

"I think I know," Sam said softly.

The team walked over to the object Sam was staring at; an elderly man lay infused in a stasis chamber.

Daniel read of the plaque next to him "here lies Merdin. Arch-Mage of the Round,"

"Alright," Cam turned to him "that's not a hologram; he's the real McCoy right?"

"I think so," Daniel stepped closer to Merlin, curious.

"How long has he been in there?"

"Well over a thousand years,"

Cam walked up along side the archeologist "so how do we get him out?"

"I have no idea,"

"Hey guys!" Vala walked over to a device that was not entirely unfamiliar to the team "look at this," she stepped closer to it, peering into it.

"Vala be careful!" Daniel exclaimed; his heart was hammering in his chest, Vala may think she was ready for this mission but he certainly wasn't, especially if she kept just throwing herself into danger again and again,

Vala jumped back "I…" she turned to look at Daniel in wide eyed confusion but nothing more was said on the matter as the stasis pod opened behind them and Merlin began to wake.

"Hey Jackson!" and as he had no choice but to grab Merlin's arm Cam called again "Jackson?"

Daniel hurried over and helped Cam carry him over to a nearby table as Sam and Nick cleared it.

"He's heavier than he looks," Mitchell groaned as they lay the Arch-Mage on the table in front of them, Merlin woke for a second, glancing around before passing out again.

"No," Vala said disbelievingly "he did not just…"

Daniel checked Merlin's pulse "no he's still alive," he looked up "it may take him a little while to revive completely,"

"Alright," Sam said "in the meantime we should see if there's a way out of here,"

"Let us know what you find," Ba'al called after her.

Cam grabbed his collar and dragged him along as he followed the blonde outside.

"Or I could come too," Ba'al added as an after note.

* * *

"Hey! There's daylight over here," Cam said as he led the other two outside, finding themselves on a sand planet, between them and the 'gate there was a large pillar standing in front of the DHD "you know, I can't put my finger on it," he said "but something is different," 

"We weren't just transported to another chamber; we were transported to another planet." Sam stated, staring at the landscape in front of them in amazement.

"The 'gate must have activated remotely, then the obelisk beamed us through the wormhole." Ba'al said, unable to help but share their surprise anyway.

* * *

"It's amazing how similar this is to the myth," Daniel said, staring at the stasis pod. 

"Hmm?" Vala asked, approaching him and leaning her chin against his back as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Supposedly Morgan trapped Merlin in a cave for all eternity," he rested his hands over hers, "only in reality," he turned to face her, but not pulling out of her arms "I think she was trying to protect him,"

"How do you mean?" Vala frowned and Daniel walked over to Merlin, leaving her to watch him.

"Well I'm starting to think that maybe… Morgan destroyed the San Graal after all. I mean she probably figured she had no choice. That if she didn't do it, the other Ancients would have just sent someone else.

"So instead she did the next best thing." Vala said slowly, thinking she might have caught on to what he was saying but not wanting to hope to much.

Daniel looked at Nick as he confirmed what she had said "she preserved the one man capable of building it again,"

"Well it's official, we are stuck here." Cam said as he, Carter and Ba'al returned 'wherever here is, good news is, we found a 'gate. Bad news is…"

"We can't dial out," Sam announced "somebody tampered with the DHD,"

"I can fix it," Ba'al assured them "reprogramming dialing devices is my specialty,"

Cam opened his mouth to say something he probably shouldn't to him but Merlin waling up again stopped him.

"Whoops!" Vala helped the elderly man sit up "guess who's coming round."

Daniel went to help.

"Where am I?"

"Good question," Sam said, drawing Merlin's attention to her.

Merlin looked at her quizzically "you look familiar," he walked over to her as if to get a better look "Guinevere. Oh my dear," he pulled her into a hug "it's been to long!"

Sam patted his back awkwardly "uh… it's good to see you too."

Merlin pulled away and pointed at Mitchell "Percivale!" he walked over to Daniel "and Galahad! Oh brave knights. Fortune indeed does smile upon me to see your faces again.

Ba'al shifted "looks like Merlin's drawbridge no longer goes all the way across the moat anymore if you catch my meaning.

Merlin turned at the sound of his voice, "what\s that?" his eyes darkened "Mordred. I might have known it,

"We're wasting our time with this old fool, we need to get back to the 'gate so I can start reprogramming-"

"Be silent!" Merlin waved his hand and Ba'al tried to speak, grabbing at his throat when he realized he could not.

"Well how do you like that?" Cam said appreciatively "the old boy still has some tricks up his sleeve,"

"Merlin," Daniel walked over to him "Merdin! We need you to remember; about the San Graal… about Morgan and about how you got here,"

"Morgan," Merlin said slowly.

"You also knew her as Gennos Lal,"

Merlin gave him a sharp look "I haven't heard that name spoken in a very long time."

"We're not Knights of the Round Table," Daniel headed that notion off before it got out of hand.

"Though we are flattered by the comparison," Cam put in.

"A thousand years have passed. We know who you really are. We know about Atlantis and we've encountered the Ori," Daniel ignored Mitchell's comment and continued to try and coax information from Merlin.

"Tell me more," Merlin insisted.

Daniel sighed "I don't know where to begin," he turned to the others "this is going to take a while,"

Cam nodded "alright, we'll get started checking out the cave," he shined his flashlight in Ba'al's face "unless _you_ have any objections? No? Great, move out," and he, Sam, Nick and Ba'al went on.

* * *

"And it was Morgan who finally led us to you. Of course… she didn't come right out and tell us, she had to be annoyingly cryptic about the whole thing," Daniel and Vala was sat on either side of Merlin, explaining things to the Ancient calmly. 

"You have an unusual understanding of the way of ascended beings," Merlin commented.

"Yes…" Daniel avoided looking at Vala "that's partly because I used to be one myself,"

Merlin looked shocked "the human race cannot have progressed that far in only a thousand years."

"No, I had a little help; her name was Oma Desala,"

"Of course," Merlin nodded knowingly "and what happened?"

Thrown Daniel hesitated "well I… I guess I didn't see eye to eye with the others."

"Ah yes," Merlin smiled "I found myself in a similar position."

"Yeah," Daniel matched his smile "I wasn't too god a the non interference thing. I guess there was a few arguments. At least that's the impression I got,"

"You don't remember?" Merlin frowned.

"No. In order to protect me, Oma erased it all from my mind and sent me back.

"Oh!" Merlin exclaimed haughtily as he stood "I'm surprised she still hasn't learned her lesson.

"She's not the only one who broke some of the rules," Vala said softly and Daniel smiled at her.

"The Ori gain their power from the lower plains. So much so that one day they shall be strong enough to wipe the others out. In the face of such a threat the strict poloicy of non interference is absurd!"

"I'm sure Oma would agree with you," Daniel placated him.

"Oma concerns herself with the individual. She may have the best intentions but then so did the Ori when they first began…" as if realizing how bad he had just made her sound he pressed on "she must have seen something in you to believe you worthy,"

"This cave is a bust," Cam returned once more, the others in tow.

"There's nothing else here," Nick said "how is it going?"

Daniel looked at Merlin "I'm not exactly sure.

"Before I agree to join with you, I need to know that you are willing to do whatever must be done to see it though,"

"Surely," Vala stood up "you have some idea of what we've been through to get here,"

"What you have experience so far is nothing compared to what is to come," Merlin looked at Mitchell as if sensing here were the 'leader' of the group.

"Don't worry about us," Cam assured him "we're on board,"

"In that case, there's much work to be done." Merlin walked over to the device on the wall and as soon as he was close enough to it, it sprang to life; he put his head into it as a small round table lit up, over it a flickering hologram of molecules springing to life.

_Author's Notes: I am so __**bad **__at planning! Because I have to, yet __**again **__split it – I'm updating as fast as I can to stop it getting boring but I've had to move the 'next chapter' bit __**again**_

_Next Chapter: Sometimes you have to make choices you don't want to make, do things you don't want to do and watch those around you fall. Falling's the easy part. Hitting the ground is what makes you shatter._


	45. Premier

_Disclaimer: You recognize it? It's not mine. However, this does have a lot more of my own work in it than the previous chapters do, albeit there is still a lot of script (people's opinons might differ a little from the script but Im allowed to do that lol:P)_

_Author's Notes: Just a pleasant little reminder – this is a __**Daniel/Vala **__fanfik and that __**isn't**__ going to change so please take that into account. Everyone is entitled to their opinions but there are times and places to express them. I'm sorry that this story doesn't satisfy you all but primarily this __**is **__for __**my**__ enjoyment and all I can say to those of you who prefer other pairings is that you have my apologies that you don't like this and I hope you find something that you like somewhere on this site. I have written other pairings ('All the Wrong Reasons' and 'Sapor Inconcessus') but I'm a DV fan before anything else. Thank you._

_I was going to wait a while before putting this up but decided that I didn't really want too... _'_Lamorak' was one of King Arthur's Knights by the way._

Chapter 45: Premier

Vala glanced at her watch pointedly "he's been at it for hours Daniel. Want to take a guess at what he's doing?"

"Well from the looks of it, I'd say he's virtually piecing something together from base molecules."

"Another San Graal?" Sam offered, as her and Daniel watched the holograms shimmering and changing above the circle table they hovered over.

Daniel shrugged and then ran over to help Merlin as he stumbled when he stopped using the device.

"I'm fine," the Arch-Mage assured them "just need a little rest,"

There was another flash of light.

"What was that?" Cam asked and Nick was already heading for the door, he, Sam and Ba'al followed.

The scene that met them was nothing like the one they had left; a desolate planet covered in a thick blanket of heavy snow, flakes fluttering down from the heavens to add to the deluge.

"The 'gate must have activated on its own," Nick said breathlessly.

"We've been transported to another planet," Cam stated softly.

"Well if Daniel's right and Morgan wanted to keep Merlin hidden, this would be a great way to do it. My guess is that we're traveling through a circuit of planets cut off from the rest of the 'gate system by a deliberate alteration of the DHD program." Sam added.

"Then you believe we will be unable to dial out from this 'gate as well," Nick surmised.

"Well we can give it a shot… but yeah, I doubt it will work. Until we find the automatic dialing program in the DHD processor and shut it down,"

"You can do that right?" Cam asked hopefully.

Sam hesitated "I hope so," she whispered as she walked over to the DHD.

* * *

"I have lived many lifetimes. First… in Atlantis. Then… on Earth, before the dawn of your civilization, then I joined the ranks of the ascended. And finally… I returned to mortal form, to live out my remaining days among the noblemen of Arthur's Court. Or so I thought. And through all those eons only one thing has stayed the same; there is never enough time." 

Daniel replied to Merlin's recollection gently "well we're safe for the moment," he smiled gently "you can… take all the time you need."

"I slept too long," Merlin breathed hoarsely "my body betrays me,"

Vala shook her head "we're not about to let you give up now,"

"You realize what's at stake. If you don't help us, the Ori will take this galaxy,"

Vala looked at Daniel as he said it; only Daniel could say something like that and make it sound encouraging rather than guilt-trip inducing.

Merlin gave a heavy sigh "one last task, then, before I rest."

Daniel and Vala helped him to his feet and he walked back over to the device, he turned around and looked at Daniel "good luck… Doctor Jackson," he placed his head in his device and as the seconds passed the light surrounding him grew brighter and brighter until Merlin was blasted back.

"What just happened?" Vala asked.

Daniel put two finger's to Merlin's neck. "He's dead,"

* * *

"He said good luck?" Sam said, looking at Merlin as he lay on the table, arms crossed over his chest. 

"It's very strange." Vala confirmed "it's almost as if he knew it was going to happen,"

"Which leaves us with no San Graal and for the moment, no way off this planet." Mitchell said.

"I told you I can fix the dialing device," Ba'al grinned "Merlin's little trick with my vocal chords expired the same moment that he did,"

"Another reason to mourn the ol' devil," Cam muttered.

"Joke all you want Colonel, but I am the only one who can get us out of here,"

Sam looked up and took a deep breath as if her next sentence was one of the hardest she had ever had to say "he is good with dialing programs… maybe if we work together…"

* * *

"I'm having trouble finding the relocation program." Sam called over the roaring winds, shivering "it must be buried in one of the correlative sub-routines," 

"We'll never find it using those search protocols. I'm going to have to make some adjustments to your program,"

"How much longer is this going to take?" Cam asked.

"It's impossible to say. All I know for sure is it would have been a lot easier on that nice, warm, desert planet,"

* * *

Daniel looked from Merlin to the device, "he said he had one more thing he could do before he could rest," 

"Huh!" Vala sat down "I thought he meant 'build us another weapon'."

"No you were right before. He knew he didn't have enough time," he walked over to the device "now this is obviously some sort of virtual interface. Like a computer assisted design program. Only in the past we've seen it used to download information into someone's mind,"

"What sort of information?"

"All the knowledge of the Ancients,"

'That's a lot,"

"Yes. As a matter of fact, it's too much for a brain to handle, it's fatal. But what if you could control it; use it to store and load something more specific,"

"Like?"

"I'm not sure," Daniel looked at Merlin, Vala followed his line of sight and then he rushed over to the device, sticking his head in.

"Hey!" Vala exclaimed as the device activated and she was left staring at his back.

* * *

Cam resisted the urge to blow on his fingers as he was sure they were starting to freeze in place when his radio crackled to life. 

"Vala here, I'm going to need-"

"What is it?" he cut her off.

She was silent for a moment before she replied "it's Daniel,"

Mitchell looked at Sam "keep working,"

"Cam!" she called in protest.

"I do not trust him to finish on his own, Sam!" he didn't look back as he headed into the cave to find Vala sat on the floor, Daniel lying half on her unconscious as his wife absently ran her fingers through his hair, "Jackson!" Mitchell fell to his knees behind the couple and shook his shoulder "Jackson!" when Daniel still did not awaken he looked at Vala who was watching him with overly bright eyes "what did he do?"

* * *

Sam hugged herself tighter, the wind was picking up and the snowflakes still falling were like a thousand little pins pricking every exposed area of skin and biting at her nose. She smiled at Nick when he asked her if she was okay. 

Ba'al rubbed his hands together "try it now!"

Sam checked her computer "I'm still not reading any anomalies,"

"This is ridiculous!" Ba'al exclaimed "I can't… I can't be expected to work like this! I can barely see… my fingers are numb… I say we go back inside, we warm up and we take our chances on the next planet.

"How do you know it won't be worse?" Nick said, shifting from foot to foot to try and keep warm, no sooner had he finished speaking the 'gate activated.

"We're about to find out," Sam said quietly as all three of them watched the chevrons light up and lock in place.

* * *

Daniel had his head in his hands, eyes closed as he tried to get used to the swirling heavy sensation in his head as if something was in there bumping into everything else as it tried to make room for itself when it was twice the size of the available space. 

Vala was sat next to him, her canteen in her hand as he shook his head and declined her offer of water but said nothing else.

"Well that's just weird," Cam commented, looking at the table where Merlin had been lying and was no longer there "Sam what just happened?" he asked into his radio.

"The obelisk transported us to another planet. I think it's scheduled to go off every couple of hours,"

"How are things out there?"

"Well it's a little spooky, but at least it's warm," he could almost hear her smiling "how's Daniel?"

"He's sitting up. I'll get back to you on the rest," he replied cryptically before releasing his radio and looking back at Daniel as he lifted his head carefully, he knelt down in front of the other man "how are you doing Sunshine?"

Daniel looked at him "he was right," he smiled dreamily "you do look like Percivale,"

"Excuse me?"

Daniel looks at Vala who grinned at him "we've spent a lot of time in this room," his voice was distant, ethereal almost; as if it wasn't really him speaking.

Struck Vala asked "who did?"

"We did," Daniel closed his eyes with a frown before opening them again "he did. Merlin," he laughed breathily "sorry, it's a little confusing having two sets of memories in your head. He wasn't kidding about living many lifetimes," he jumped to his feet, Vala stayed seated.

"You have Merlin's memories?"

Daniel cocked his head to one side and looked at her "some of them. Earth, Atlantis… and the different medieval societies he set up throughout the galaxy… and the work he did in this lab," he looked around with a fond familiarity in his eyes.

"Hey ho, hey, hey, hang on a second!" Cam cut him off "are you telling me you can build the San Graal?"

Almost irritated, Daniel replied "he knew he didn't have the strength to finish it. His body had…" he walked back over to the device on the wall "deteriorated too much during the stasis. So he gave me the knowledge," he went to put his head back in the device but Mitchell caught his arm and pulled him back with a cry.

"Nick I need you in here," Cam said into his radio then to Daniel "you can't be serious about using that thing again?"

"I can do this," Daniel assured him "I know I can,"

"And what about what it does to you?" Vala got to her feet and walked over to him.

Daniel looked at her and Vala felt her voice catch in her throat at the distance she saw ebbing at the corners of his eyes, glassing them over as if whatever the device was doing to him was slowing erasing Daniel himself.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked.

"Lamorak!" Daniel greeted him and Vala stared at him in horror.

Nick's cheery disposition faded almost instantly "Daniel?" he said slowly then turned to the other two "what happened?"

"He used that," Vala pointed at the device like it was the most hateful thing in the universe.

Nick nodded "can I…?"

Cam paused in hesitation before nodding and taking Vala's arm, pulling her outside and leaving Nick alone with his grandson.

"I can see it now," Daniel said vaguely "I can do this,"

"Merlin's knowledge…" Nick whispered in awe.

"He left it for me,"

"All of it?"

Daniel nodded.

Nick looked at the device for a long moment "a device like this almost killed Jack right? Twice?" he did not sound like he was trying to admonish Daniel, just like he was curious, reading the last chapter of the story before he'd read the first.

Daniel looked at him oddly for a moment "you knew," he whispered and he waited only a second for Nick's response which was nothing more than the tiniest of nods before he turned back to the device and stuck his head in it again.

Nick watched for a second before going back outside to face the others.

"Where's Jackson?" Mitchell asked, turning around.

"Daniel is inside," Nick chose not to move any closer "he is using Merlin's device,"

Vala whirled around to stare at him; "you were supposed to stop him!"

"No," Nick said firmly "I never said that I would stop him,"

Her momentary open-mouthed expression of horror lasted all of five seconds before she bolted back into the cave, the rest of the team on her heels. "Daniel!" she called her voice echoing off the stonework "Daniel!" she stopped when she saw the iridescent green glow of Merlin's device flickering on the walls of the cave, moving forwards again once she regained some control.

"No," Nick stepped in front of her, "don't,"

"Get out of my way," she hissed; her voice whisper soft and yet at the same time as sharp as a thousand needles "move!"

Nick calmly restrained her when she went to sidestep him but "if you interrupt the process you could hurt him,"

"And that thing isn't already?" she snapped sarcastically.

"Vala..."

"Nick." she said slowly "move,"

Nick shook his head "no,"

Vala turned away with a final glare at him, Nick released a sigh of relief at having 'won' the battle for now but it was a breath breathed too soon as she span right back round again and rammed him into the wall. "You sonovabitch!" she shouted, pressing her forearm across his throat and using her body weight to hold him in position "you stupid, self-absorbed arrogant bastard!"

"Vala…" Sam went to pull her back but Vala twisted her arm free easily.

Nick choked for breath and only when Cam's hand came to rest on her shoulder did Vala release him, stepping back several paces as if she was uncertain whether she could trust him. Or herself.

"You knew didn't you?" she challenged "you knew from the moment we stepped through the 'gate that this would happen. You _knew_ Merlin was here, and you knew… you _knew _that Daniel wouldn't be able to resist going near that wretched machine,"

Nick's hand moved to his throat, rubbing it pointedly "I didn't force him in to doing anything he didn't want too."

"He's your _grandson_. Now I'm sorry, but in my little part of the universe I was under the impression that you were supposed to care about him. Okay my parents were less than desirable and my grandparents little better and I know that you've had problems in the past, with your daughter and Daniel but I thought, _he_ thought that you actually cared now-"

"I care Vala,"

"You've got a funny way of showing it,"

"The knowledge that could potentially create a weapon that will destroy the Ori is in that machine,"

"Then why don't you do it?"

"My mind has already been altered by the Giant Aliens, the knowledge I have of them and of everything else they taught me is practically too much for the human mind to handle. Merlin's knowledge is ten times that amount,"

"It's gonna kill him?" it was Cam's turn to raise his voice.

"It's a definite possibility," Nick confirmed slowly.

"Okay, now I'm tempted to shoot you,"

Nick blinked at him casually which in itself was probably a dare that Cam decided, for once, to be the bigger man and ignore his obvious taunting.

"Sam go and check on Ba'al," Mitchell said as he realized they'd left him alone.

Sam looked reluctant but knew that there was nothing she could do inside and with a brief glance at Vala and a sympathetic smile that in hindsight was probably wrong to give, she went back outside.

There was an eerie silence for a moment, the device humming and churning the only sound as Cam stood between Nick and Vala until the woman turned on her heel and walked to the opposite side of the room. He thought about following but opted for escorting Nick outside again instead.

* * *

Sam stared at the obelisk "maybe we're barking up the wrong tree here. Maybe the re-location program isn't in the DHD processor at all," 

"What?" Ba'al followed her line of sight "the obelisk?" he laughed dryly "you obviously have no idea what you are talking about,"

Stung Sam turned around "say's the brainiac who spent three days trapped in that force field."

Ba'al ignored her comment "that technology is strictly used for localized transport,"

"Yeah I know." Sam answered "I meant it's obviously what's beaming us through the 'gate every time there's an open wormhole," she paused "but what if it also contains a remote dialer?"

"It's one thing to send someone here and there on the surface of the planet. It's quite another to send them half way across the galaxy. It's like… uh… comparing a laptop to a super computer."

"Well it wouldn't have to contain the entire navigational system now would it?" she said sarcastically as she pulled out her handheld and approached the obelisk "just a command code sufficient to override the normal dialing protocols,"

"Yes. But to borrow a rather quaint human phrase; why hide a needle in a small haystack, when you can use an enormous one? It wouldn't be much of a security measure if it could be discovered by the first Tau'ri female who comes along would it now?" he sneered at her.

Sam stopped and turned around very slowly, every movement jerky and a blatant display of her annoyance "I'm sorry, are you dismissing my idea out of hand because I'm human, or because I'm a woman?"

"Huh," Ba'al smirked "a little of both I suppose,"

Determined not to let him get the better of her – they had far more important things to worry about – she dismissed it "you know what?" she smiled tightly "I'll check it myself."

* * *

Daniel stepped away from the device, rubbed his eyes and blinked against the light in the room. 

"Daniel!" Vala jumped up, delightedly, unsure as to whether or not she was annoyed with him or happy to see that he was okay; the latter outweighed the other.

"What is that?" Mitchell asked, pointing at the table as he re-entered the cave.

"Stage one," Daniel announced "the first step towards creating Merlin's weapon,"

"Is it real?"

"Yeah; that's exactly what this device does. It allows you to design it and configure something virtually and then materializes it."

Cam nodded "just like O'Neill did when he created the Anti-Replicator weapon,"

"I thought the San Graal was a tiny red jewel," Vala alternated between staring fixatedly at her husband and then avoiding his eyes all together.

"That's the final stage; the key to making everything work," Daniel trailed off and leaned against the table, holding his head and biting back a groan of pain, Vala immediately leapt forwards and took his arm.

"Daniel?" she asked timidly.

"I'm alright… I'm alright;" she noticed that he seemed to be saying it more for him than for her "this machine takes a lot out of you. The uh…" he took of his flak jacket "level of concentration required is pretty intense,"

She tried to keep the falter from her voice when she asked if she could get him anything.

"Water," answered.

"Sure," Vala went to retrieve her canteen from the table where she had left it and Daniel's glasses but as she reached for it the flask moved through the air and landed in Daniel's hand.

"Okay that happened;" he opened it "it's interesting; Jack got healing powers. I guess I got telekinesis," he took a sip of water.

Vala stared at him, how could he be so… flippant about it? Telekinesis was not a normal talent, it wasn't cool, or good, it was bad… it was _wrong._ Why couldn't he see that? "Jack almost died!"

"I'll be fine!" he replied earnestly, setting the canteen down and getting up again.

"That's crap," Cam cut in "she's right. You don't get fancy mind powers unless there's been major redecorating going on inside you skull!"

"Look," Daniel sighed "obviously creating the weapon requires a higher level of brain function. Now Merlin would have seen that. Trust me, I can handle this." He stepped closer to the machine but Vala ran around to stand in front of him.

"No!" she snapped "you can't. You can't handle this."

"Vala…"

"No Daniel, you're not using it again," she stood firm.

Daniel's eyes narrowed "that isn't your decision to make," he pushed passed her and headed for the device again.

Vala turned to face him "neither is loving you!"

He stopped, and Cam could have sworn his shoulders slump but he didn't turn around just whispered "I'm sorry," before sticking his head in the device once more.

* * *

"Dammit!" Sam glanced at Ba'al, then tensed her jaw and walked over to Ba'al, clearing her throat. 

"What do you want?"

"I need your help,"

Nick looked up.

"I think I'm right about the obelisk but I can't make heads or tails of its programming,"

"Well," Ba'al laughed "that's hardly a surprise. I mean… I know where you come from you're considered relatively intelligent," he walked around the DHD to stand in front of her "but by galactic standards that's not really saying much. Wouldn't you agree?"

Sam smiled briefly as she started to turn away before punching Ba'al in the face; he fell back holding his nose and Nick could not help but smile at the scene.

"You know, if you're not going to help then you're not much use to us. And if you're not much use to us then there's not much point in keeping you alive any longer. Wouldn't you agree?"

Ba'al sat up and smiled, glancing at Nick "I'd uh… be delighted to help," he held out his hand for help standing.

"Great to hear it," she placed the handheld device in his hand and walked away.

* * *

"Stage two," Mitchell breathed as Daniel pulled away from the device, looking even more exhausted than he had before. 

"Indeed." He replied "I must rest," he headed for a chair and sat down "I'm not as young as I used to be,"

Vala was sat with her back to him on the table where Merlin had lain before he had disappeared "Daniel?"

Daniel frowned and turned his head "I know you," he whispered and any promises Vala had made to herself to stay as far away from him as possible were gone as she was crouching in front of him in an instant, her hands resting on his knees.

"Of course you do silly!" she tried to smile "It's me; Vala!"

Daniel placed a hand on her cheek and she covered it with her own, leaning into his touch, "I had the strangest dream," he said "everything was covered in ice,"

Unable to look at him for fear that she would start crying Vala looked at Cam who put a hand on Daniel's shoulder "Jackson!" and when Daniel made no response "Daniel!"

"What's going on?" Daniel blinked and looked around, his confusion evident.

Vala forced him to look at her "we're loosing you that's what's going on! Every time you come back from the machine," she pointed at the hated device "it gets a little worse," her voice was breaking, catching in her throat and her sight was becoming blurred and water laced "and don't tell me you're fine because you're not," she swallowed harshly "you're not,"

Daniel shook his head "no, no I just have too many thoughts in my head. I… I… I can't concentrate… I get confused."

"You have to fight it," she cupped his face in her hands and felt a pang in her chest when he squeezed them briefly before pushing them back to her chest.

"No, no, no… that's the thing; I have to let it happen. That's the only way I can build Merlin's weapon," he got to his feet and took a few steps over to the device again.

"Then don't build it,"

He sighed and turned to face her "I have to Vala,"

"No you don't," she said petulantly, fists clenched at her sides "no one's forcing you, no one's making you do it. You're doing this all by yourself and it's _killing _you,"

"Vala please… just listen-"

"No!" she exclaimed "you listen!"

He nodded and watched Mitchell leave through the corner of his eye.

"You're so used to doing what you want to do that you don't care what everyone else thinks! No matter what anyone else says or does it's always got to be you! You're always the one that has to make the sacrifice; you're always the one that has to loose everything!"

"I have to do this," he whispered wearily.

She shook her head obstinately "no you don't! You don't _have _to do anything! You're just doing it because you think no one else will!"

"Well who else is going to huh?" he shouted back with renewed vigor "I don't see any volunteers!"

"Then I'll do it!" she yelled.

"What?" his said slowly.

"I'll do it," she repeated firmly, swallowing and slivers of light striped her face, her eyes shimmering with tears she refused to let fall, "I'll use it,"

"What?" he barely spoke, his voice so quiet and yet it sounded like it was shouting purely from how ignorant the question was, "Vala, no!"

"Why not?" she snapped, arms folding across her chest.

"Because…" he couldn't think of an adequate reason, no, there were a million and one _adequate _reasons; it was just that not one of them was adequate _enough_.

"Because what?" she spat, her hands falling to her sides and clenching into tight fists that made him wince when he saw how much she was digging her fingernails into her palms, "because you're the great Doctor Jackson on his unending quest for justice?" her mocking was tangible, her shaking was obvious and her lips pressed tightly together as she breathed slowly and heavily through her nose.

He winced again at his title; he'd spent his entire life aiming to get it. He remembered sitting on the cold floor of the curator's office in the New York Museum; one minute he'd been watching curiously as his parents guided the construction workers through their task, the next there had been screaming and the people who had been smiling and waving at the eight year old little boy were ignoring him, rushing over to try and move the heavy rocks that now covered the Doctors Jackson, phones being produced from nowhere and everywhere, numbers being dialled and it wasn't until he edged forwards and then caught a glimpse of his parent's broken bodies that anyone noticed him.

They'd taken him to the curator's office where he had promptly thrown up in the wastepaper basket, whoever the person had been - he didn't remember - they'd been called out and he'd been told to 'stay there'. As soon as they'd gone he'd slipped from the - what at the time had seemed to be huge - leather chair and crawled into the corner, sitting in silence as he heard shouts, meaningless cries and blasphemous accusations as whatever the people milling over the scene of the accident had been trying to do failed yet again.

He had never been 'stupid' and had, more than once, awed people with how intelligent he had been as a child; he'd known what dead was, his parents were archaeologists, _of course _he knew what it was, he'd grown up knowing. He even knew how it happened; diseases, knives, fighting… on some level he'd registered his mommy and daddy were dead before anyone came looking for him.

He'd understood they weren't coming back so he hadn't asked the orphanage supervisor when. He'd understood why he couldn't stay in their rented apartment on his own so he hadn't asked to. He'd understood why the boy three grades above him had liked to try and steal his lunch money. He'd even understood why the adults were concerned about how quiet he'd gotten, surprised when he reasoned perfectly calmly that you can't really talk when you have nothing to say.

And so, upon entering high school, when people started asking him what he wanted to do with his life he had answered the question in detail, explaining to the careers advisor smoothly about Archaeology and Egypt, the complexity of linguistics and how intrigued he was by anthropology; he didn't say 'I'm going to be what my mom and dad were' because that would have been stupid thing to say at fifteen years old and it wasn't like that anyway; he was simply going to keep a promise he'd made to himself years before; he was going to do what _he _wanted to because that's what you had too; you _had _to do that, if you didn't try and hold on to what you had you just ended up with nothing at all.

"Vala, please-"

"Please what Daniel? You're my _husband_ I can't just stand here and watch you die! I _won't_!" He loved her, she _knew_ he loved her but if he did then what the hell right did he have to try and do this too her? None at all, that's what.

"I'm not going to die," he consoled gently, inwardly cringing at how patronizing that must have sounded.

"Like hell you aren't!" she screamed, gesturing at Merlin's device on the wall "that machine is killing you and you're so far wrapped up in yourself you can't see it!"

His eyes narrowed, this wasn't his fault, his stomach twisted as he remembered, less than two weeks ago, being sat in his office knowing that she had turned her back on them all _willingly_. She hadn't been forced; she'd _chosen_ to go with Adria, if she could do what she wanted why couldn't he? "What difference would you doing it make?"

"Because I love you!" there had to be a better reason, no, there was _no_ better reason that, there never was and never could be, love had to be it, it was the reason, the cause and the result; everything at once and nothing at all.

Love stung like a bee, burned like fire and killed you just that little bit more with every breath taken. Love wasn't innocent; despite what people thought, how could love be innocent? It was a killer, a survivor, a tormentor, a rescuer; it ruled with a rod of iron and cocooned you so securely that there was nowhere safer. Love is being jaded enough to know that without it you're screwed to hell, that if it didn't exist chaos was imminent, destruction and anarchy a mere split second away, it caused all of that but at least death as a result of compassion is better than a world that held no compassion at all.

"And you think I don't love you? It practically tore me apart knowing that you'd chosen Adria over us!" There he'd said it, it sounded like he blamed her and maybe he did, he wasn't sure and didn't think he ever could be.

"That's…" she trailed off to regroup "that's different,"

"It's exactly the same!"

"She's my _daughter!"_

"No, she's-" he doubled over and leant against the wall for support, taking a few deep breaths.

"Daniel!"

"I'm fine, I'm fine…" was he? Yes he was, or was that no he wasn't? Good or bad? Right or wrong? Forgive me for I need to be forgiven? "Can we not argue?"

Vala stared at him. How could he claim he was fine? He hadn't moved away from the wall, and as if she'd said it aloud he straightened instantly, and he was as pale as she'd ever seen him "you're not doing this," she stated firmly.

"Vala please… I have too."

"No."

"Vala-"

"No! Dammit! No I won't let you!"

"I need you to!"

"What about the others huh?"

"They can't... they don't... they won't understand." He looked almost panicked at the thought of the rest of his team and at that Vala seriously considered for a fleeting second, running outside and getting them; Daniel could fight verbally sure, but if she could get Cameron and Sam to physically carry him back through the 'gate… hmm, what could she use to bribe them?

Daniel watched her carefully.

"_I _don't understand!" she cried.

"Please," he begged quietly, "please Vala, I-"

"If you are so certain that it won't kill you… that you'll be the same old Daniel, then why are you trying so hard to stop fighting with me? Surely if you thought everything was going to be okay then that wouldn't matter."

He looked at the device on the wall then at Vala; her narrow blue-grey eyes filled with tears that she refused to allow to fall. It shouldn't be a decision he had to make, he shouldn't have to choose between his wife, his family and this… but this was for Earth, for the Galaxy, for Sam and Jack, Mitchell, Teal'c, Nick, Carolyn, Landry, Walter, Lee… it was for them all and so, so many more.

He took another step towards the device. A choked sob ripped through his eardrums as it broke through the dusty air of Merlin's lab. This was worse than anything else he'd felt, dying had it's advantages, a dull reprieve from the pain of living that afterwards he always seemed to find was like a drug that he could not kick the habit too. She was there and it was just so tempting to tell the universe where it could go if it meant he would not have to make this decision.

It was selfish and wrong and filthy, dirty and so… so uncontrollable it was like drowning, no worse than that… like having her insides ripped out by a vacuum, like having the doors to a ship being opened whilst it was in hyper drive.

It was unbearably painful and yet she remained standing even as she thought that the next moment would be the one where the rapid thudding of her heart would cease and her chest would tighten its final string and then that would be it. There would be no more pain, no more love; no more anything.

He turned and walked rapidly towards her, caught her face in his hands and kissed her; desperate and apologetic, tensing as every muscle in his body tried to convey how much she was a part of him but all to soon the kiss was over. Her hands on his wrists, relaxed not gripping them like she wanted them to be, not crunching bone between delicate fingers just resting there as she stared at him, tears were falling as she trembled. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment, her breath tickling his face "I love you," he breathed, then more insistently "I love you,"

Before he gave into the temptation to do just as he wanted to he threw himself at Merlin's device, she watched him activate it and all the while she knew that there was nothing she could do to stop him.

_Author's Notes: Holy… 17 pages! I hope you liked it! Wow… 17… that's the longest chapter I've ever written… please review!_

_Next Chapter: Unwanted visitors mean another close call for SG1 only upon returning home, there's another threat hanging over their heads…_


	46. Showdown

_Disclaimer: If you recognise it then it's not mine._

_Author's Notes: I was going through my computer the other day and I found some of the original things I wrote three or four years ago – my God was it crap, the characters were awful, clingy and just… not only that but I let people __**read **__them? __**And**__ gave my teacher a copy when he moved to Dubai! Now I feel stupid! _

_Well that was random!_

_And yeah I know in the episode Cam was more 'gung ho' for the San Graal than anyone else really but I kinda switched that to Nick because it fits better for my purposes :)_

Chapter 46: Showdown

"It's a command override," Sam said "I can't believe that we actually found it,"

"You work well together," Nick observed and the look the two sent him didn't intimidate him in the slightest; however he was silenced by the glare Mitchell sent him as he went outside.

"How's it going?"

Sam looked at him "well now that we've identified the program, it should be a simple matter to shut it down,"

"That's good,"

Sam smiled at him and went back to work, she wanted to ask about Daniel but from the look on her friend's face it wasn't going to be news she wanted to hear.

"How is the download going?" Nick asked, following Cam as he went off on a perimeter check.

"Shut up," Cam replied.

"Colonel Mitchell I doubt very much that there is any need-"

Cam turned on the other man with a deadly expression on his face, P-90 subconsciously aiming at him "I don't want to hear it Nick," he snapped, turning back onto his path.

"You cannot seriously blame me for Daniel's actions," he objected "it wasn't my fault,"

Once more Mitchell turned on him "you could have stopped him or at the very least you could have tried." He stared the other man down as he raised a questioning eyebrow. "I just had to watch one of my friends throw himself back at that device because he knows no one else will do it. He's sacrificing himself, _again_, not only that but he had to do it with his wife begging and _pleading _with him to stop so forgive me, _Doctor,_ but I'm not really in the mood to chat right now,"

"Perhaps I should go and see Vala…" Nick went to turn back but Cam caught the back of his flak vest and jerked him back.

"You stay the hell away from her," he released the man and shoved him none to gently to walk in front of him

* * *

Cam didn't say anything as he re-entered the cave half an hour later, instead his eyes flicked from Vala to the hologram at regular intervals, he opened his mouth to say something but could think of nothing worth saying so closed it again.

Suddenly Daniel jerked away from the device in a panic "get to the 'gate now!"

"Why?" Cam asked, eyeing Vala carefully as she stared at her husband, her eyes wide as if she was getting too hopeful and at the same time not hopefully enough.

"They're coming," Daniel replied.

* * *

Sam walked over to Ba'al as the 'gate began to turn "incoming wormhole!" she cried out in warning as she ducked behind the obelisk, Ba'al hid behind the DHD and Nick found an outcrop of rocks to use as cover as he pulled out his sidearm and aimed it at the 'gate.

As soon as the soldiers stepped through the event horizon Sam and Nick started firing, several fell but more of them managed to get through and take cover.

"Hold them here! I'll get help!" Ba'al shouted out, making for the cave but a direct hit to his back sent him sprawling to the floor, dead.

* * *

Cam and Vala sped up when they heard the sounds of a fire fight outside and were already shooting their weapons at the soldiers, running down to take cover with Sam and Nick as more warriors poured through like an army of ants on a picnic.

"Hallowed are the Ori," a deep voice intoned and instantly the firing stopped, the soldiers mumbling the words themselves.

"All hallow the Ori," a second Prior added, his cloudy eyes fixing on each member of the team in turn "where is Doctor Jackson?"

As if on cue Daniel walked out of the cave, some what shakily "you're too late,"

"The weapon is incomplete; I would say we are just in time,"

"And I'd say things are different now," his voice cocky and an almost smug expression on his face as a moment later the skies lit up, lightening forking across the clouds like a knife before striking and hitting all of the Ori soldiers, killing them in an instant.

"Daniel!" Vala cried out, rushing over to him as he fell to the ground, weakened some what.

Sam edged closer to the DHD as Vala helped Daniel to his feet. The Priors did not stop them from moving to stand with the rest of the team.

"It is draining; using your powers to help your friends," the first Prior said sickly, his words didn't quite sound right, as if he were a mere puppet and, even though she wasn't there, Adria the one with the strings.

"Dial out," Mitchell whispered and Sam nodded, turning quickly to hit the buttons on the DHD as Cam raised his weapon and stood behind her, covering her back.

The Priors watched some what amused before raising their staffs and readying them to plunge into the ground, Cam fired at them but the bullets simply bounced off.

"Why do I bother?" he muttered to himself.

"Stop this!" Vala exclaimed, if anyone had the power to stop them then she did, she just never thought she'd see the day where she would have to use the 'I'm the mother of the Orisi' card. "Stop this right now!"

"You are an unbeliever," the second Prior said simply, his smile more of a leer than anything else.

The Priors shared a look before plunging their staffs into the ground and a wave of something flew towards the team, Daniel threw himself in front of them, holding up his hands and a light appeared, glowing blue as it blocked the attack.

"Get to the 'gate! Now!" he fell to one knee, struggling to keep up the barrier as the wormhole stabilized.

"We're not leaving you here!" Sam cried.

"I'll be right behind you!" he assured them.

Nick took Sam's arm and pulled her through the 'gate, leaving Mitchell with Daniel and Vala.

"Go," Cam said decisively to Vala.

"I am not leaving him!" she shouted at him.

"Go!" he took her arm and hauled her away from her husband "I've got him!" he pushed her through the wormhole before turning back to Daniel, he was ashamed to say he was torn between grabbing him and hoping for the best and just leaving him on his own.

He'd kick himself for months for that one; _never leave a man behind_.

"Damn you Jackson," he muttered, running forward, seizing hold of Daniel's collar and throwing them both through the 'gate just in time for the shockwave to hit after them and they landed in an ungainly heap on the 'gate ramp at the SGC.

* * *

Teal'c stared at Adria intensely, deepening the glare if she so much as moved. It was a long while before either one of them spoke.

"Are you going to stare at me all day? Here I was thinking that you were a big, strong jaffa, Muscles," she smirked at him "however, if you wish me to give you some useful tips on how to torture someone effectively then I will be more than willing to help,"

"I do not wish to torture you Adria,"

"Huh," she sighed "then may I return to my room?"

"No,"

Adria rolled her eyes and settled back in her seat, waiting for him to make the next move; she did not have to wait long, just long enough for the silence that followed to get uncomfortable.

"What is it that you wished to learn from Vala Maldoran during her time with you?"

"If I told you that it wouldn't be a secret now would it?" she had a smug expression on her face.

Teal'c leaned down on the desk separating them "I do not recommend angering me,"

"No," Adria sighed "you wouldn't," then after a moment "I wanted to know where the Doctor Jackson's grandfather could be found,"

"I trust you found such information?" he said disdainfully as he stood up again.

"I found much more than that," she said cryptically "much, much more," and the look in her eyes was enough to unnerve even Teal'c.

* * *

Daniel practically bounced back onto his feet after his collision with the 'gate ramp, Cam insisted to himself that he would have been faster had it not been for the fact he was hampered by the fact that Daniel had landed, for the most part, on top of him.

"Woah there Nelly," he caught the other man by the scruff of his neck as despite his rubber ball impression his balance was obviously way off and he nearly got a face full of metal, "you don't want to be making kissy-face with the floor when your wife's over there,"

Daniel blinked at him in confusion.

"Everything okay SG1?" Landry's voice hummed through the intercom.

"Oh you know the usual, nice people, nice village, met Ba'al…" Mitchell gave Daniel a decidedly dirty look as he released him "Daniel's sharing his body with an Ancient…"

"What?" Landry's eyes widened.

"Merlin," Nick said, grinning maniacally up at the man in the control room.

"Colonel Mitchell?"

Cam had barely opened his mouth before he felt himself falling, instinctively tucking his arms around his head as he rolled down the ramp and hit the floor with a painful crack. "Jackson!" he shouted as he sat up "what the hell was that for?" he was drowned out by the sound of the alarms going off and the clicking of safety catches being slipped off as the blast doors opened with a slightly forced screech.

"Mother," Adria said sweetly "Doctor Jackson," she nodded "Doctor Ballard,"

Nick's eyes widened only momentarily, as if he was almost expecting her, however no one failed to notice him step closer to the rest of the team. He glanced only briefly at Cam as he got to his feet in silence, holding his hand out to a nearby airman's gun as his was lying useless on the 'gate ramp where it had fallen upon exiting the wormhole seconds ago.

The airman handed over the weapon without fail and no sooner than it was in his hands Mitchell was firing at the Orisi repetitively, despite how they bounced of he didn't stop until he'd nearly burned an entire clip.

Adria sighed "Colonel must we do this every time?"

Cam smiled tightly at her and finished the clip more for the fact that shooting the gun in his hands made him feel slightly more useful than just standing there defenceless.

Adria rolled her eyes "in that case," she flicked her wrist sharply and he flew up and back, smashing through the glass of the control room window like it was nothing more than tissue paper and he a rag doll. "Now," she whipped back round to face the remainder of the team "my prize," a gleam in her eye only Vala had been curtsey too and at the time she hadn't exactly been in any condition to remember it.

She opened her palm and a bright red light hurtled towards the team, Sam and Vala automatically ducked and covered their heads, Nick reflexively shielding them with his own body, however the expected blast never hit. When they did look up it was just in time to see Daniel fall to his knees, his own hands held up in a vaguely defensive posture but a flickering blue force field seemed to have been conjured and had blocked the attack.

No one moved for several minutes and after what seemed like a life time the red beam was deflected and hit the roof instead, puncturing a sizeable hole in the ceiling as the shield Daniel had created dissipated and he staggered to his feet again. Jerking away from Sam when she tried to help.

"Leave Orisi," his voice was low and hoarse.

Adria's eyes widened and her jaw dropped not unlike a kid at Christmas "you have the knowledge," she whispered "powerful isn't it?"

Daniel's eyes narrowed "enough," he saw through the corner of his eye Sam, Nick and Vala walk over to stand where Mitchell had been before he had been tossed, effortlessly through the air, Vala and Sam had their P-90's raised, despite Cameron's demonstration of just how useless the bullets were.

"Who am I talking to?" she said sarcastically "dear daddy or perhaps," she smirked "Merlin?"

There was no response other than silence.

Adria smiled smugly "it's a lot to handle isn't it Daniel?" she seemed to fill the room and yet she was yet to move any closer than she had when she had launched her attack "it's killing you,"

"Adria go,"

Vala let loose a breath she hadn't known she was holding when she realised that it was Daniel talking again now.

"Where is the San Graal?" Adria said, serious again.

Why she didn't already know Vala had no idea, especially considering how easy the Orisi seemed to find it to read everyone's minds. It only took a moment for her to figure it out though as her daughter's forehead creased into a frown and her eyes slid close for a second, snapping open again a moment later.

"It takes a lot out of you doesn't it?" she leered and sure enough, Daniel was panting like he'd run a marathon "there is only so long you can keep that up,"

Had the situation not been so serious Vala would have laughed as Adria was suddenly thrown onto the 'gate ramp in an ungainly heap. The expression on Daniel's face said clearly how much this battle was costing him, especially since he was unable to deflect the attack Adria sent in return once she had righted herself, sending him flying across the floor and into the wall. Vala darted over to him, cradling his head in her lap, as he seemed to be struggling to stay conscious, he muttered something in Ancient and Adria evidently took offence at it and went to attack again.

"Stop it!" Vala cried out "just stop it!"

"Mother…" Adria said wearily "I am simply-"

"Get out! Get out!" she shouted "just go!"

Adria raised an eyebrow at the outburst, before her expression of mock amusement faded into one of genuine enthusiasm, she turned to face to Stargate and the chevron's started to light up.

"Close the Iris!" Landry's voice drifted down.

"I can't sir," Walter replied earnestly and it was impossible to hear anything else over the sound of the 'gate springing to life.

"Stop her!" Landry yelled down and as Adria walked towards the event horizon, barely even blinking at the Kawoosh as it flushed out with a roar.

There was a rush of useless gunfire following the Orisi through the wormhole as it shut down and level twenty-eight was plunged into complete silence.

_Author's Notes: End of script! Yay!!_

_Next Chapter: Merlin's presence is taking its toll on Daniel's mind and he's loosing himself in an attempt to keep hold of the Ancient knowledge._


	47. Someone Else

_Author's Notes: I go on holiday for three weeks at the end of the month and I doubt very much there is going to be much time for me to write between now and then so this will be the last chapter until I get back. I'm not promising an update then but if I can take my mom's laptop with me (it doesn't have 'net connection) then I can write a bit whilst I'm away and so it's a possibility._

Chapter 47: Someone Else

"What happened?" Carolyn asked as she moved away from checking the stats of both of her newest patients, smiling and nodding to the nurse who was fussing over the bandages and dressings adorning the cuts and bruises that Cameron had sustained when he had been thrown through the control room window.

"My apologies," Teal'c inclined his head regretfully "I should not have allowed Adria to escape,"

"It wasn't your fault Teal'c," Sam said gently, smiling weakly at the jaffa who was currently lurking the in the background.

Teal'c looked as if he were about to object in his usual subtle way but instead decided to simply nod in required agreement as the tension in the room was palpable, and the silence was to sincere to be broken for several moments.

"Vala," Sam said gently, she didn't know what else to say but suddenly felt the desire to let the other woman know that she was there and would be for as long as she was welcome.

"She knows,"

"What?" Nick asked, brow furrowing and for once, and Sam was loathe to admit it, looking less than calm because that's all he ever was. Calm, sincere and true. His temper never lost, his wit never to late and the intelligence of his years looming over their heads without him even having to say it; besides, how could a man so smart be so stupid?

The brash harshness of reality declared Daniel's actions justified; they needed a weapon because they were sorely out numbered and over powered to immeasurable extremes. The San Graal was the only way to try and even the score. But just because logic said it was reasonable, that didn't mean everything else had to agree with it.

Reason only took you so far, science and detachment only answered the answerable questions. What you felt and why you felt it wasn't a question that _had _an answer. They were there, whether you wanted them to be or not. Chemical imbalances, secretions of various substances into the bloodstream were the concepts of what love and hate and all the other thousand emotions in between were but they didn't explain why you felt them or what it was like to experience them. There was a difference between answer and explanation; just because you can _explain _the cause, doesn't mean you can answer the effect.

It is said that your heart is what hurts when someone you love is in danger but that's illogical. The heart has only one function and that is to beat; to pump blood around the body to sustain itself and everything else. It didn't have the capabilities to _hurt_.

The chemicals secreted by the brain make the throat contract so breathing becomes irregular and the lack of oxygen makes the lungs overcompensate by forcing you to take deeper breaths. But because of the narrowing of the windpipe it means that whilst the lungs and diaphragm are trying to function faster the condition of the oesophagus prevents such actions taking effect. And because breathing is irregular the heart beat speeds up, aided by the chemical release and so with the heartbeat also erratic for no reason and none of the energy being created being used it leaves you drained. Tired and exhausted; buzzing from an adrenaline overdose.

Love really was that simple.

It was a chemical reaction. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less. It doesn't hurt so much to think of it like that.

"Adria," Vala said quietly "she knows where the San Graal is,"

"How?" Nick exclaimed "Merlin was-"

"Don't call him that," she said slowly, pinning him with cold stare "he's not Merlin,"

Nick opened his mouth to object but Jack smacked his arm to shut him up. The ex-General had said nothing so far. His jaw had set, his eyes had darkened and he had turned back into special-ops-trained General Jack O'Neill rather than just plain Jack the moment that Daniel and Mitchell had been rushed to the infirmary. It wasn't conscious, it was an ingrained transformation that Sam both envied and despised.

When she had first met him she thought it was him being cold, callous and battle-hardened but over the months and the years she had come to realise that it was simply Jack's way. He didn't know anything else, after all; what good does crying do? It doesn't make things right, it doesn't fix things and it doesn't make you feel better. Not really. Time's the only thing that does that and that's only because you want it too. Nothing ever really makes things okay, mankind just needs to believe that something can fix everything that's broken, and time is the only feasible reason, the only thing that's solid and real. The only thing that never changes. It's always there, no matter what. The world could end and somewhere, there would still be a clock ticking.

Everyone dealt with things in different ways. From what she could gather after Charlie Jack had turned in on himself; imprinted every second of that awful day on his memory so he could never forget it. It was his _way_ to get angry with the world, to detach himself until he was alone and then drown his sorrows in the adrenaline rush of battle and deal much faster than anyone else could.

After Daniel had ascended the first time Jack had become fiercely protective of his team. And whilst the foremost reason that Jonas had not been allowed to become a 'fully fledged' member of SG1 was because Jack didn't want to see Daniel replaced because looking like you've moved on and actually doing it are two completely different things, Sam knew that part of it was because he couldn't bare to see another man die under his command. He had no power over Teal'c, and he had done what he could to protect her without it seeming inappropriate but distancing himself from Jonas had meant that should the Kelownan have gotten hurt or killed it wouldn't have hit him quite as hard.

"Colonel?" Landry turned to Sam when after no one continued.

Sam shook herself free of her reverie and looked at her commanding officer in confusion for a second before elaborating "Adria was trying to telepathically gain access to the co-ordinates of the San Graal's location. Presumably Nick's mind was already protected thanks to Quetzalcoatl and Daniel's thanks to Merlin," she glanced at Vala but the brunette was to busy watching the machines attached to her husband. "When Adria tried to reach all our minds at once Merlin blocked the attack. I'm only guessing here but when she threw Daniel down he lost concentration and so she was able to retrieve the knowledge she wanted,"

"That was why she left so abruptly," Nick said, astonishment lacing his voice.

"It was me,"

Jack turned to Vala and frowned "what?"

"She got the knowledge from me,"

"And how do you figure that?"

"Where else do you think she's going to get it from?" Vala looked at him coldly "I'm her mother remember," she smirked tiredly "to her this is just a game,"

* * *

Carolyn looked down at the clipboard in front of her; his blood tests came back negative for anything dangerous, although the pressure was a little elevated. Dopamine levels were normal, no signs of respiratory or cardiac distress. The only concerning things with Daniel's stats were the EEG readings. 

When he'd first been admitted into her infirmary two hours ago the readings had been eclectic; the sort of thing she would expect from combining two people's brain activity. Whilst that fact was alarming at first, she had been calmed, albeit only mildly, when she had, had the events of SG1's latest mission explained to her. And though she was yet to get her head around the fact that Merlin, as in _the _Merlin was residing in Daniel Jackson's body it did explain away the disturbing statistics being read of the EEG monitor. She had quickly separated the two readings so she could monitor the activity of both Merlin and Daniel's brains.

What was concerning her now was how dramatically different the latest set of results were; she wasn't an expert but from what she could see Merlin's EEG was becoming far more active and Daniel's was randomly dipping to levels that she would have expected from someone who was comatose.

She opened her mouth to say something as she looked up and was more than a little surprised to find Daniel's bed was empty, dropping the clipboard onto the vacated bed she rushed to the nearest phone.

* * *

Vala could not help but smile as Lexy flicked her mother's earring and after a moment tried to put it in her mouth. Vala was force to end her daughter's game at that point, absently scolding the infant as she shifted her weight and knocked on the semi-closed door of Daniel's office when she heard a noise from inside. 

"Daniel!" she exclaimed when there was no reply and she pushed open the door "I thought you were in the infirmary,"

Daniel continued scribbling things into every available space on his whiteboard. The scrawl made no sense whatsoever as far as Vala was concerned but it apparently meant a great deal to her husband as he was hovering around it, muttering to himself in both English and Ancient, erasing bits and pieces and annotating others.

"Doctor Lam didn't tell me you were awake," she continued.

He kept muttering.

"I brought Lexy,"

"That's not right," Daniel said a little louder, stumbling over the trashcan in his haste to reach his desk and rummaging through an array of papers and scribbling something out and writing something else in it's place. The mumbling in Latin continued.

"Do you want to hold her?"

"Hmm?" Daniel looked up.

"Lexy," Vala repeated "do you want to hold her?"

He frowned at her "I know not of what you speak," he brushed past her.

Tears pricked at her eyes and for Lexy's sake she prayed that she would be able to stop them falling. "Stop it,"

"Stop what?" the smile that punctuated that sentence was terse and without conviction, despite that he was yet to even look at her, he'd seen her sure, but looked at her? That was something completely different.

"Please Daniel," she begged, swallowing thickly, Lexy was silent and Vala wasn't sure if it would have been easier if the little girl had started screaming.

He moved back over to the desk, putting it between them "I am sorry my dear but I have a lot of work to do," impatience tainted his voice; as if the only reason Merlin wasn't kicking her out was because Daniel was telling him not too.

"Would you look at me?" she snapped harshly, then "please?"

Daniel looked up with a sigh "my dear…"

"No," she hissed "not 'my dear'. Vala. My name is Vala,"

Pet names were stupid; they held no meaning. Sickly reincarnations of the given form of address. Terms such as 'dear' 'sweetheart' and 'honey' suited only those who wished them used; a thinly created veil that blurred reality and kept the edge off temper and hid the insecurity that they were meant to disguise.

Nicknames were useable, they're different, they were pleasant and used in confidence and without intense repeatability they become a signifier of fond disposition. Her calling Teal'c 'Muscles' or Jack referring to him as 'T' was friendly. And for some, maybe pet names were used in a similar fashion and even as she might call Daniel 'my Daniel' it was neither a pet name nor a nickname it was just a fact. He was hers, just as much as she was his. It wasn't a name, it was a statement.

Daniel's eyebrow rose "Vala," he said slowly.

She licked her lips and blinked "yes?"

"Would you please excuse me?" he said, looking pointedly from her to the door.

She closed her eyes and took a breath before reopening them "don't you remember?"

His back was already turned, the squeak of his pen on the whiteboard her only answer.

* * *

"Hey," Jack said, slipping to a seat opposite Vala in the commissary, poking his Goddaughter playfully as the child smiled at him in greeting, waving a chubby hand enthusiastically. 

Vala didn't answer.

Jack was equally silent, firm in his belief that if she wanted to talk then she would. For now he was willing to simply be a small source of amusement to the blonde haired baby currently using a banana to create the biggest mess Jack had ever seen created with a piece of fruit.

"He doesn't remember,"

Jack looked up sharply and nodded curtly, unsure of how exactly to respond.

"I tried." She choked "I tried so hard, and it wasn't enough. It's _never _enough,"

Jack swallowed.

"Everything I do. Everything I have, it's always taken away," she looked at him pleadingly "why is that?"

"I don't know," he breathed when it became obvious she wanted an answer.

"I loved him. I gave him more than I've ever given anyone, and he threw it all away,"

"Hey," Jack was stung to hear her talking about Daniel in the past tense, "he's not gone yet. We've still got time,"

She laughed wickedly "no we don't. He's gone, and none of it mattered, none of it," she slammed her hand down on the table so hard that Lexy stared at her mother, wide-eyed and uncertain, "how is it fair?" she whispered "why is it always him? Always. It's never anyone else." She paused and Jack thought she had finished "why does Daniel always have to be the hero?"

Jack said nothing.

* * *

"You okay?" Jack asked, standing in the doorway as he watched his friend grab his temples and hiss in pain. 

"I'm fine Jack," his voice was tight and strained.

Jack nodded, sauntering into the office, "so I'm talking to Daniel right now am I?"

"Yes," Daniel said slowly.

"Shame you couldn't make an appearance when Vala came by earlier."

"Jack," _don't do this._

"Daniel," _you already have._

"Ja-ahh!" his fists clenched in his lap and he pressed his head into the back of the chair, taking several heavy breaths.

"Doctor Lam nearly had a heart attack when she found you'd gone walk-about," Jack said, refusing to show any concern other than the decency to wait until his friend had ridden out the stab of pain that had obviously taken hold.

Daniel rolled his eyes as he got to his feet "I had some work to do," he went over to the coffee maker and poured himself a mug, not bothering to offer Jack one.

"Finished?"

He raised an eyebrow "did you?" he challenged.

Jack couldn't help but smile "touché," he muttered to himself.

"I'm not sorry," Daniel said honestly.

"You should be,"

"I know,"

The two men stood in silence for several moments before Jack nodded and excused himself. Turning to leave he got no further than the door when he heard a heavy thud and he whirled back round; seeing Daniel on the floor he grabbed the phone and dialled straight through to the infirmary "medical emergency in Doctor Jackson's office. Get a team in here, stat," slamming the receiver down he crouched down by his friend, checked his pulse and when he found it racing Jack ran a hand through his hair, falling back to sit against the wall with a sigh of half relief, half exasperation.

Jack closed his eyes, forcing himself to remember things always got bad. Always, it came with the job, written in the small print of the contract. Near death experiences were just something that happened, you accepted or you didn't, then you moved on. You didn't have a choice and you couldn't argue with it.

Every time it came that much closer, every time you became more aware of how tired you got of it, and every time the question lurked in your mind; what if this time was really was the last?

_Author's Notes: I __**might **__try and get another chapter up before I go on holiday but as I said it is __**highly unlikely **__but considering how I just said that I'll probably be able to lol! Just don't get your hopes up as I want to try and update some of my other fictions before I go as well... Please review!_


	48. Lost In Ice

_Author's Notes: I'm back!! I've written six chapters including this one whilst I was on holiday so updates should be reasonably regular :)_

_Sally' – thank you so much!! Yep, only 15, I'm 16 on August 26. 'Savoir Aimer' means 'Knowing How to Love':) _

Chapter 48: Lost In Ice

Carolyn swallowed a lump in her throat that felt at least as big as a watermelon and blinked hard, hugging her clipboard to her chest in an attempt to quell her trembling. The machines attached to Daniel hissed and whirred before settling back to a lower buzz and she only tore her eyes away when she heard a groan from the neighboring bed.

"Colonel," she smiled a little, putting her clipboard down on the foot of his bed and placing her hand against his forehead in a quick way to gauge his immediate temperature; he didn't have a fever but his skin felt hot and her palm prickled from the contact long after she pulled away. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a truck," he said, opening his eyes and then snapping them shut again as the infirmary lights burned his retinas.

"Close," she said "but not quite,"

Cam was silent for a few minutes and Carolyn almost thought he had fallen back to sleep when his eyes snapped open and he tried to sit up and it was only her hand on his chest that prevented him succeeding.

"Adria!" he hissed when he surrendered "where-?"

"She left," Carolyn replied "but not without getting the information she was after,"

"The San Graal," he whispered frustration evident even in his current state.

"I'm afraid so,"

"Who?" he fixed her with a stare that almost made her flinch in its intensity.

"Vala," she answered "at least that's what she says,"

Placated, although not happy about it, Cam nodded "makes sense," he went to sit up again, slower this time.

"Colonel-"

"Doc," he looked at her "please,"

She nodded "can we have some extra pillows over here?" she asked a passing nurse who scurried off, returning seconds later with the desired items which Carolyn piled behind Cam's back before putting a hand under his arm and helping him to lean against them.

He smiled in thanks and looked around; doing a double take that would have been amusing had it not been for the concern lacing his voice when he spoke "Daniel…?"

In an attempt to distract herself she produced her penlight and shone it into Mitchell's left eye, he flinched but stayed where he was; allowing her to do the same to his right. She didn't speak until she had noted down all the readings from the machines monitoring her patient and he didn't prompt her too.

His mind was buzzing. A thousand thoughts whirling around his head at once, bouncing off each other, sparking and creating new schemes and plans that could have stopped all this, words and simple actions… maybe if he'd reached for Daniel? Pulled him back? Would that have stopped him? _No_, he thought, _he's a stubborn bastard._

Or better still what if he'd pulled rank and said a categorical no three years ago when this had first started? Even if at that point they weren't a team and he was just making idle wishes and subconsciously going over all the files he'd been given by people trying to get on the prestigious team, despite how the people who had given the title a reputation in the first place were no longer a part of it. He'd felt like he was turning down contestants for American Idol.

What if he'd refused to let them use the communications device? They'd have never met the Ori; remained blissfully ignorant of their existence and continued with their happy-go-lucky lives, ordering Chinese take out on a Friday night and watching crappy movies they'd seen a million times until sunrise.

What if Vala hadn't been allowed through the 'gate when she'd turned up with those bracelets? Okay, it had been amusing at first to watch the cool and calm Doctor Jackson revert to 'she started it' behavior in all of thirty seconds and Vala's irksome chatter and vivacious flirting had been a small price to pay.

What if he'd turned down the mission to PK6 254? He felt a vicious stab of guilt as he realized half a second later that Vala may never have calmed enough to see that Daniel, although he seemed content with being her friend, couldn't deal with her inconsistence especially when it meant he might get hurt and Daniel may never have gotten his finger out and accepted the fact that maybe, possibly, there was a significant chance that he actually really did feel something for the bubbly brunette. But all the same, it had been ten times more painful to watch Vala back in Merlin's lab and Daniel when Vala had been with Adria. If it weren't for the sincerity behind their actions, it would have been nauseating.

Too many what ifs, too many maybes. It either was or it wasn't. You don't second guess yourself, or contemplate other routes after the event. You did that in the field you could be dead before you even finished the sentence but he wasn't in the field right now. He was in the infirmary and what else was there to think about other than what he could have done to stop it? It reminded him of the afternoons he'd spent with friends after they'd been injured enough to be condemned to bed rest. Stalemate; couldn't look back because that was pointless and couldn't look forwards because there was nothing to look forwards too.

"Cameron," Carolyn's soft voice made him jump and he mumbled an apology; the use of his first name must have mean she'd been calling him for a while "are you okay?"

He smiled at her "I'm fine," he assured her "verdict?" he gestured to himself with the hand not attached to an IV.

"Nothing much," she reported "cuts and bruises; a couple needed stitches but mostly superficial injuries," she looked down and then back up again just as quickly "you were lucky,"

"You weren't worried were you doc?" he teased, flashing her a genuine grin.

Carolyn looked as if she was about to slap his arm playfully but the desire faded and she rolled her eyes at him. Flippancy was helpful at this point. It annoyed everyone else because there was nothing they could do about it; if you suffered a bullet wound on the field and you were asked if you were okay and you said yes everyone knew you were lying, and as you brushed it aside they grew agitated; scared and helpless as to how little they could do to help but in her position…

Flesh wounds were like paper cuts, broken bones like fractured fingers and a hit to the head like a slap on the back. Of course they were still serious but if it could be treated she could treat it. Sew broken skin back together, realign dislocated joints and monitor concussion better than anyone on base. She was good at her job but that didn't mean she didn't get scared. Fear still gripped her stomach and panic still rose in her chest, blood didn't excite her, it sickened her and the crunch of bone made her flinch. She wasn't inhuman just talented.

"Hey," Cam was looking straight passed her and she turned to look as well.

"You look better," Sam said, detouring from her route to Daniel's bed and standing at the foot of his.

He nodded "Vala?"

Sam sighed, "she's…" pause "she's coping,"

She wasn't. Cam knew that but it was nice of Sam to try.

Sam looked to Carolyn "anything on Daniel?"

Carolyn shook her head "the EEG readings are leveling now." She moved over to the monitors and pointed as Sam stepped over as well "Merlin's are as strong as ever but Daniel's…" she gestured to the lower screen "it's the kind of thing I would expect to someone in a coma; his brain activity is next to none."

"Has anyone gone back to planet change-o-rama?" Cam interjected.

"SG's 9 and 10 have gone to secure the area and they have a team of scientists with them but if Adria comes…"

The silence that followed finished her sentence for her.

* * *

Landry sighed and looked down the briefing room table at the people gathered there. Colonel Mitchell was in a wheelchair as his insistence had meant that Carolyn had agreed that he could be present given that she was to be there as well. Colonel Carter, Teal'c and Jack all wore matching expressions of forced apathy, except in their eyes where their gazes were haunted with something the General recognized but refused to identify officially and Nick looked to be thinking hard about something and the cold shoulder he was receiving was well deserved, even in Landry's eyes. 

"Vala," Sam said slowly, getting to her feet as the brunette walked in only to turn on her heel to leave again "please,"

Vala blinked and bit her lip before speaking, her voice catching in her throat "tell him to leave,"

"Vala…" Carolyn soothed "if-"

She turned "I don't want him in here,"

Jack gave a curt nod "Nick," he said and the other man looked up.

"Hmm?"

"Hoppit,"

"Pardon?"

"Go on," he added "get out,"

"I hardly think that this is necessary…" he looked to Landry "General if I may-"

"I think it would be best if you were not to be present at this briefing," the General answered as diplomatically as possible.

Nick gave an indignant huff "this is-"

"I will escort you Nicholas Ballard, if you would require?" Teal'c intoned, his voice low and gravelly.

Taking the hint Nick got up with as much dignity as he could maintain and left the briefing room with a flourish, he spared a half second pleading look to Vala but she ignored him and moved to take her seat.

"So…" Landry put the briefing back on track "Doctor Lam?"

Carolyn looked up and folded her hands neatly in front of her "Doctor Jackson's EEG readings are alarming," she looked at Sam "I know I said earlier that they had stabilized but they're dipping again."

"Woah," Jack cut in "you're saying…"

"Daniel's dying," she whispered, hating herself for saying it as much as she hated Merlin for causing it "physically he's fine," she added, _like it mattered_ "but if it continues the way it's going then I don't think he'll make it through the night,"

"That's not going to happen," Cam snapped.

"I assure you-"

Jack shook his head "no,"

"General-" she felt like crying. It wasn't her fault this was happening so why was everyone making out like it was?

"I said no Doc,"

"Have we tried contacting the Asguard?" Landry said, trying to ease some of the pressure from his daughter.

Sam nodded.

"Thor sends his apologies," Jack said tightly, all usual light hearted humor gone.

Sam glanced at him and then back at Landry "he's protecting Cimmeria; a Prior visited three days ago,"

Landry nodded. It was unfair to expect their allies to drop everything for the life of one man besides; Daniel would never forgive them "what about the scientists with SG 9 and 10?"

"Nothing yet sir,"

Landry nodded and there was silence for several moments. Carolyn shifted uncomfortable as she caught Vala staring at her.

"What about the pods down in Antarctica?" Cam suggested "like the one Jack was in,"

Jack didn't say anything and so the injured man was forced to focus his attention elsewhere.

"Pods?" Carolyn said, confused and trying very hard to figure out whether she was just slow on the uptake or if it really did sound as odd as she thought it did.

Sam glanced at Jack before speaking, the indiscernible nod one of consent that she felt she should ask for but knew she didn't need "when Jack used the Ancient device to download the knowledge of how to destroy the Replicators, the Asguard had their own problems to deal with and," she decided to cut the story short "we found the drone chair in Antarctica. Jack showed us the pods and he put himself in one,"

"And Merlin was in one of these stasis chambers," Landry said, whether to continue the explanation or as a question no one knew but Sam nodded anyway.

"This would be the most prudent course of action," Teal'c said.

Everyone tactically avoided looking at Vala.

_Next Chapter: SG1 undertake a mission that whilst might save one life, will most likely tear another one apart. _


	49. Shipwreck

_Author's Notes: This was supposed to be a quick little inserted scene at the beginning of the chapter that follows this one (Keepsakes) but, as you can see, that just isn't the case. :P lol._

Chapter 49: Shipwreck

It was like swimming against a swirling current. Her limbs felt heavy and laced with lead, her head felt light and her stomach was so tight she thought she might be sick. Every second felt like an hour yet she couldn't think of anything beyond the here and now, and that was hazy at best which was probably, easier to deal with than if it had been crystal clear.

Daniel had roused from his unconscious state as they loaded him onto the helicopter which Sam was piloting with an ease and familiarity that Vala found far more comforting than if there was anyone else flying it. He'd muttered and whispered things as he slipped back into sleep but no one understood it, or more than likely, tried too. Nick's eyes had darkened as he watched his grandson's eyes slide close and fall silent again and for a second Vala had wanted to ask him about it but the fury had flared and she hadn't.

She shifted in her seat uncomfortably, her back felt stiff from sitting in the same position for so long. They'd set off from the base hours ago, she'd lost count around about the same time that Cam had dozed off in the corner, and hadn't bothered to look at her watch to figure it out.

Lexy had gone home with Carolyn and Doctor Warner had been called in when the CMO had signed off early to look after the infant, he hadn't complained, just agreed solemnly and wished them luck. Luck as to what no one knew.

"ETA ten minutes," Sam's voice came over the gentle whir of the helicopter working and Cam jumped awake, blinking widely at everyone else in the 'copter as if to check no one had seen him fall asleep.

"How is he?" Jack nudged Vala's arm as he slipped into a seat next to her.

She shrugged.

Jack just nodded, jaw set. He'd respected Daniel since that first mission to Abydos. The sneezing, geeky archaeologist, determined to prove himself had stood up to Ra for crying out loud, without even batting an eyelid; in his book that was both a stupid and extremely brave thing to do. At the time he had thought that maybe it was just the actions of a naïve young man with no sense of self preservation and as much common sense as the likelihood of meeting a marine with manners but that notion had been banished from his mind the moment he had looked him in the eye.

Over the years their friendship had, had its ups and downs. They'd argued, bickered and spent a good deal of time yelling at each other. Conversations that consisted of nothing more than their names said far more than should they actually have started using full sentences. 'Shut up Daniel' had become almost as much of a catch phrase as 'for cryin' out loud'.

The months before the Kelownan incident had probably been the lowest point their friendship had ever reached, sniping more than bickering and 'Team Nights' were less frequent. Ironic how it had taken one of them dying to sort that one out and even after Daniel had returned it had taken a little while after that before they had finally managed to declare a kind of truce, all though he only really had himself to blame for that one because Daniel didn't actually remember at that point and it was kind of hard to look at the face of a man you had spent months trying to deal with having been gone. However he was entirely uncertain that Daniel hadn't _purposefully_ called him Jim for as long as he had just to annoy him.

If someone had told him thirteen years ago that his best friend was to be an allergy-ridden, stubborn-to-the-bone, geeky scientist he would have probably shot them.

But of all the stupid things that Daniel had ever done this one really took the cake. Not that Jack wished that any one of the others had received the download but Daniel had just… he'd made his wife watch as he effectively committed suicide, he'd listened to her beg and plead for him to stop and he had still pressed on. It either took an entirely heartless man to do that or an extremely driven one. But there still should have been another way. There was _always_ another way, no matter what there is always another choice. Appealing or no. He'd figured that out over a decade ago.

Ever since Charlie's death every day had been a struggle, every morning he woke up was another lifetime to struggle though and every second that passed was another turbulent moment to live in when he didn't feel he wanted too. Living became a habit, breathing a task he wanted to forget, and day to day things like eating, working and using the bathroom had been such a chore that he'd find himself exhausted after walking as far as the drive. He'd wanted to die.

Sara had been amazing, not that he would have said so then, she'd pushed and prodded, screamed and shouted and done everything she possibly could to help him and he had shuttered her out. Standing in the background at Charlie's funeral as Sara's parents tried to console her whilst intermittently beckoning him over into their embrace. But he had stayed the stoic military man. To the world it would have seemed like he saw the death of his son as just another man down in the field; you mourn in silence, pretend like it hasn't affected you for the rest of your life and the psychologists and commanding officers of the world just nod and turn their heads as soon as they're certain that you aren't going to off yourself.

His own parents had been despairing, coming over for the funeral and the wake, and he'd been polite, hugged and kissed his mother and shook his father's hand with an expression on his face that he now used to greet politicians, senators and members of the IOA.

And so he'd finally come to sitting in his son's bedroom, staring into nothing and the heavy weight of the gun a comfort that he was sickened to believe existed. Even now, even after the weapon had murdered his own son he still felt more attached to it than he could to anyone else; the look on Sara's face when he had woken in their son's bedroom, the gun cradled to his chest would haunt him for the rest of his life.

That had been why he hadn't killed himself that day, allowed himself to be reactivated and put in charge of the mission to unearth the secrets of the cartouche Catherine's father had found. Ironic really, considering how _un_earthly the cartouche was. The thought of Sara finding him dead in Charlie's bedroom wasn't half as appealing as the prospect of dying in the first place.

Growing up he had never even contemplated that one day he might want to die. He finished high school in the summer and had joined the military by the fall, much to his mother's dismay and his father's delight. And it had been fun, zooming through the air at a speed that elicited feelings that were impossible to explain, making friends and conspiring against particularly unpleasant COs without a care in the world. In a way the world of regulation and discipline was far more freeing than that of what one could say were 'normal' jobs.

The first time he had wished he could die had been the parachuting accident where he'd fallen the wrong side of enemy lines; the Jack O'Neill Scale of Pain had exceeded its one-to-five rate and sky rocketed it straight to number seven on the first day.

The second time had been when he was captured by Iraqi forces, tortured for information he either did not know or would not release. It had seemed like a lifetime before rescue teams were sent in too 'retrieve what was left of him'. He had learned three months later that it had only been five days.

The third time was Charlie and that was the one he had been most serious about. The others it had been more of a way for the physical pain to stop but if he shifted his position, bit his tongue and threw himself into the task the aches, burns, and brands had faded for seconds at a time. Sleep had brought reprieve.

Charlie hadn't been physical and that was not something he was able to deal with. No matter how much psychological conditioning the Air Force had put him through and how much more he had taught himself none of it could have possible prepared him for the death of his son. Shifting made it worse, eating didn't stop the nausea, beer and whiskey only gave him headaches and brief amnesia that lasted from about the fourth shot 'til morning and then Sara would just look at him through saddened eyes and bring him a cup of coffee that he wouldn't drink.

Sleeping had been his worst enemy; he closed his eyes in the day and saw red, red like the blood that had soaked the floor, his shirt and the crisp white sheets of the hospital ER. In the night he didn't even have to close his eyes to see the smiling face of his son, floating in the dark, the smile would fade into a thin line and bright eyes would darken and turn cold. The argument over water pistols would stay in his memory forever.

And the first time he had heard a gunshot since the one that had ripped his life in two he had been driving passed a small farm. He'd nearly piled the truck into a tree.

So he had waited, the men from General West's office had shown up and he had gone, to be greeted by a frail old woman whom he was as polite as he felt he could be given the circumstances and, he was afraid to say, he would probably have been far ruder had she not had so many years on her. Doctor Jackson had been a man he wanted nothing to do with, a scientist who was so far 'out there' that his own field had booted his ass out onto the sidewalk.

But the pivotal point of that mission had been both the Abydonian's saving grace and his own.

_"I don't wanna die. Your men don't wanna die. These people, here, don't wanna die. It's a shame that you're in such a hurry to."_

Daniel hadn't known about Charlie then, most people didn't. General West, Kawalsky, Ferretti and a handful of Sara's friends had, had it confirmed in person, the others that knew, knew only from rumor and he had liked it that way. It had taken him nearly two years to come to terms with the fact that not every other person was looking at him, whispering to themselves _"murderer," _as he bought bread, milk and fruit loops down at the grocery store.

Daniel had just seen what the rest of the world had seen; a man lost in despair and depression, moping around and with every intention of killing himself at the first available opportunity; after all, Sara would take it easier to hear that he'd died in the line of duty as opposed to a quick slip of the finger and oops, he's gone.

The younger man had just walked up to him and given him what for, asked him an honest question, as if furious that anyone could possibly consider committing suicide. In that moment he had felt a spike of fury for everyone else; every one else so determined that he needed to be treated like porcelain, like he would shatter should he be dropped, when all he really needed was a swift kick up the ass.

The darkness dissipated, the veil of fatigue faded to nothing and suddenly, for the first time in months, he'd felt _alive_. Skaara's boyish charm, his playful nature and the determination of a man far better than Jack, Kasuf with all his wisdom, Sha're with all her beauty, Daniel, Kawalsky, Ferretti… all of them. He'd been going to kill them _all_. So swept up in his own misery he hadn't realized that killing himself meant killing them as well and as heartless as he could be, there was no way he was capable of that. Not now.

And as time passed by saving each other's lives, or more specifically Jack saving Daniel's, became almost a routine, like whose turn it was to buy beer, or to pay for pizza. They'd watched each other die, survive and get injured, watched them love and loose, cry and laugh and pulled each other back from the brink of despair more times than either cared to count.

He'd watch Daniel loose Sha're. Twice. Shared his grieve both times and watched for the fall out for weeks, even months, after. Sha're was the reason he was on SG1 in the first place.

Now he had Vala, years had passed with very little romantic interest at all – did the guy just not _notice_ every female head in the place turn when he walked into a room? Most men would kill for that kind of attention from the opposite sex! – and finally, he had found someone he could trust, whom he was willing to give what he had given Sha're and know that it was returned. And yet he had just thrown it all away?

It didn't make sense.

Sure. Jack had made the mistake the first time around, Sara had taken all she could and more than she should have been expected too but he wasn't about to make the same mistake with Sam.

Daniel had lost Sha're, through no fault of his own, so there was no parallel to draw there, but he had still lost her; he had Vala now. A beautiful, loving, enthusiastic, bubbly young woman who was ready to give the world and more just for him to look at her; what man in their right mind would give that away?

* * *

"Air Traffic Control this is helicopter Sierra Gulf one-niner requesting permission to land," Sam looked up for a second as Cam came into the cockpit and she spoke into her radio. 

Cam nodded at her, and put on the co-pilot's headset in time for Air Traffic Control to confirm their permission, "Sierra Gulf one-niner, you have clearance,"

"You want to take her?" Sam asked, smiling weakly at him.

"May as well," he said, reaching for the co-pilot controls and tipping the nose of the aircraft forwards as they came into land in an untouched area of the Antarctic ice.

Neither of them paid heed to the fact that piloting a helicopter probably came under the category of 'operating heavy machinery' when on painkillers but nor did they care. It was something to do and Cam was itching to be able to do _something_ to help.

As soon as they were landed Sam and Mitchell jumped out, and began helping the others from the aircraft.

Jack looked out across the landscape, pulling his hat down firmer onto his head but leaving his coat unzipped as his boots crunched on the ice and he turned to help Teal'c lever the gurney Daniel was lying on, covered in multiple blankets out of the helicopter.

* * *

It was slightly warmer in the cave and Vala could feel a trickle of cold sweat run down between her shoulder blades but she didn't loosen her coat. 

"Vala?" Sam's voice echoed off the walls and she looked almost guilty for the disturbance.

Vala turned to look at the blonde, her face flushed pink and flakes of snow and ice had melted on her nose. She was gesturing at the gurney and it took Vala a moment to unstick her limbs.

This couldn't be happening, it was dreamlike, hazy and pretend and it didn't feel any more real as she stepped over the slippery ice and stood next to her husband's unconscious form.

"Daniel," she whispered, stroking his fringe back from his forehead where a mixture of sweat and melted ice had flattened it "Daniel," she shook his shoulder gently, running the backs of her fingers down his cheek.

His eyes flickered open and heavy lids lifted to reveal two bright blue eyes that made Vala's throat contract when she saw them, he smiled at her "my dear," his whispered huskily.

She bit her lip and blinked hard as hot tears burned her eyes, nodding stiffly as she fought to keep some control of her trembling.

"What is this place?" he asked almost dreamily, looking around with as much curiosity in his eyes as a small child would.

"Come on Danny," Jack took hold of his friend's shoulder and heaved, whilst Mitchell took the other side they managed to help Daniel into a sitting position, Sam helped him swing his legs off the gurney.

Daniel shivered and leaned slightly more on his friend's as they pulled him to his feet, he went to take a step on his own but buckled and his eyes rolled, forcing them back into focus he was vaguely aware as Cam staggered under his weight and muttered something about 'less pies'.

He swayed as he stepped into the stasis chamber and his arms fell limply to his sides when he was released, everything felt heavy and weighted and it took more effort than he thought it should to look at Cam.

"Tueor sua,"

Cam blinked in confusion but nodded when Daniel didn't look away.

His movements sluggish and dopey Daniel turned to his wife, their eyes met and he smiled lopsidedly at her "usquequaque vestry," he whispered as the chamber flickered to life and the ice froze around him.

Vala turned and left without another word, Jack glanced at Sam but she wasn't paying any attention as she headed straight after the distraught brunette and Teal'c waited for a moment, before he too followed, albeit it, at a much slower pace.

Cam frowned in confusion as he stood staring at the chamber and he didn't make any sound of acknowledgement as his team left the room and without even looking round he could tell Nick was still stood there.

"What did he say?" he asked, not looking around.

Nick paused, licked his lips and said carefully "he asked you too look after her,"

Cam nodded and by the time he had turned to exit the cave, he was the only one left in there. He hesitated at the door; glancing back he whispered "by God Jackson, I hope you know what you're doing,"

_Author's Notes: Please review! Latin comes from online translators. :) _

_Next Chapter: Picking up the piece isn't easy. Sometimes you can glue them back together, sometimes you can't, but what happens when the shards are too small to pick up but to big to ignore? Then what do you do?_


	50. Keepsakes

_Author's Notes: The 'Golden' chapter! Lol – yeah I dunno what I'm on about either._

Chapter 50: Keepsakes

If you imagine, standing in the kitchen, the counter in front of you and linoleum flooring cold beneath your feet, the refrigerator buzzes to life in the corner and bird song flitters through the cracked window. The glass is heavy in your hand, full of water. The liquid moves by incremental amounts, lapping at the sides of its container almost lazily in time with your breathing because your hand starts to shake with the pressure building in slowly straining muscles.

Suddenly, the glass slips from your hand, slams into the floor and shatters into a dozen pieces on impact; the water slithers a way like it has suddenly graduated to a sentient being in it's own right.

You flinch, quite rightly, and step back, staring for a moment at the mess before moving to the trashcan and bringing it over. Leaving it open as you crouch in front of the broken shards of glass and pick up the larger pieces, dropping them into the trashcan with a clatter as they collide with tins, cellophane and other food wrappers that lie in the bag.

As you pick up a slightly smaller shard you slip, slicing the fleshy pad of your forefinger with the tip, you drop the piece instantly, hissing in pain.

The blood beads around the cut and drips onto the floor, mingling in the water and making patterns in the thin veil of liquid bathing the linoleum. It takes you a moment to stop watching the swirls and move over to the sink to rinse the wound, but by the time you do that it's already started to heal over, a clot forming over the injury and sealing it from all infection. You have no choice but to force it open to soak it in peroxide.

It hurts more when you do that.

That was what it was like watching Lexy.

Vala hated to say it but it was. Looking at her daughter, seeing her smiling, playing contentedly with the toys in front of her was agony. Twisting in her stomach, clawing at her chest; Lexy looked so much like her father.

Daniel was the glass, solid, real and authentic at the same time as being fragile and transparent.

She was the water, able to be contained but quick; once control was lost it was hard to get it back, contained by the glass but not restricted.

Merlin was the bearer; powerful, invasive and strong. Smashing the glass and letting the water flood the floor.

And Lexy was the alcohol; the stinging burn of aftermath.

Vala knew why Daniel had done what he had done; and she wasn't about to deny him the peace of mind that he had, in a way, done the right thing. The worth of the majority out weighs that of the one. If she knew anything, she knew how hard that decision had to have been to make.

It had been easier than she had thought to just watch him being put into the stasis chamber; he wasn't gone then, not really, more… preserved. Yes. That was the word. They were preserving him. He was still alive. Which was good, because if he was dead then it would be an entirely different matter; if he was alive then it meant she could just forget about it and she wasn't starting to sound hysterical. Not at all.

The hardest part of the entire situation had been seeing Lexy again. Because with Lexy there she couldn't forget; she wasn't_ allowed._

It was wrong to resent her daughter and it was wrong to believe her to be the irritation to an already bleeding wound. But that's how it felt. She hadn't really hurt until she'd collected her daughter and now everything around her was a permanent reminder of what she had lost and what she had dared to dream she might have had in the first place.

The Ancients were made out to be these all knowing, all powerful, wonderful, ethereal beings that could do no wrong. But they weren't. They were like everything else capable of intelligent thought; they were selfish. Humans were selfish, every one of them. Be it by accident or fault by design; instinct wouldn't let man be entirely selfless, because to _survive_ is to be selfish.

They may protect others but they protected themselves on some level; Daniel was one of the least selfish people she had ever known but he'd been afraid to take the risk, afraid of getting hurt, of playing a game he was bound to loose even if there wasn't ever going to be an end result.

She was selfish. Always had been, manipulative, sneaky, underhanded and devious. Bartered for what she could have, and stole what she couldn't. Daniel had been the first thing she had, had to really work for in a very long time.

Sam made Daniel seem open to any and all suggestions when it came to 'affairs of the heart' she may never say it but it was obvious in her eyes. Vala had learnt to read the expressions of her companions and enemies alike a long time ago and Sam was easily spooked. She didn't want to risk wanting something she could have just in case she got it and wasn't satisfied; Pete had been a prime example of that.

Cam was definitive; he wouldn't loose anything that was in his power to keep. The atypical white hat. If it was there, it stayed there, if it existed it would not die and if it could be born it would be birthed. Those around him, his friends, his family, were Cameron's world and Vala knew that what ever lucky woman – or man, you never knew – he found would be made to feel like the most important person in the world.

Nick didn't think about anyone else. If it could be got he would get it and if it could be achieved he would achieve it. That was that.

Merlin had stolen… no, _no_ he'd done the right thing. He'd died so that millions of people and creatures alike could live but still… _Daniel_.

Why not someone else? After everything, after Nanith and Akhiyaa, car accidents, pregnancies, arguments, long-lost-relatives, proposals, Adria and…

"_It's nothing special. I just thought that… maybe you'd like to do it again,"_

"_What?"_

"_Marry me,"_

He'd proposed, they'd already been married months by that point but he'd still asked her, still told her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and it was far more than she would have ever been able to imagine. She'd been sure then. He wanted her, he hadn't settled, hadn't said 'to hell with it' he genuinely wanted to be with her and that meant more than he would ever know.

She looked down at her hand, the ring was warm on her finger and when the light caught it, it glittered and sparkled almost dozily. She'd forgotten about it until this point, been to wrapped up in everything else that was going on to pay much attention to the band around her finger and the promise of a man who's bed she already shared and who's hand was already hers.

The pillows smelled of a mixture of him and fabric softener. Of spices and lavender, of everything safe and everything… it was _home_. He was home. She'd never had a real home before. Moving around her entire childhood, then Quetesh, then never even staying in the same place for more than two consecutive nights unless… did prison count? And then there was the SGC and finally, here. Daniel's apartment, _their_ apartment.

Her name was on the bills, – something Daniel had taken great delight in pointing out wasn't really a good thing, at least not for her – her clothes in the closet, her food in the kitchen and, unless Daniel had taken up habits she didn't know about, her curlers on the dresser.

A knock at the front door had her sitting up slowly, flattening her hair and untangling the afghan from around her legs.

"Coming," she called hoarsely, moving over to the door and opening it, her eyes instantly narrowed when she saw who it was and she made to close it again.

"Vala-" Nick put his hand out to stop her slamming the door in his face.

"Go away Nick," she hissed "just leave,"

He pushed passed her into the apartment.

"I mean it," she reiterated her request but didn't sound threatening, more weary.

"I just need to talk to you,"

She sighed, her whole body felt heavy and she wanted to just lie down and either cry or sleep, she couldn't make up her mind.

"Daniel-"

Her expression darkened instantly "I don't want to hear one word about how what he did was right, that it was noble, and that he didn't have a choice, I just… I don't,"

"Daniel made his choice,"

"No," she snapped, spurred on "he didn't, you did. You could have stopped him, he would have listened to you but no, you just let him go right a head and kill himself!"

"He isn't-"

"He might as well be!" she cried, everything was crashing down, the whole world in all it's porcelain wonder dancing to the ground like snowflakes on Christmas Eve.

Nick was silent "everything will be okay," he soothed.

"No!" her fists clenched at her sides "you don't get to say that. You don't get to tell me everything is going to be okay because it _won't_. It can't."

"It will!" he cried in earnest, desperate for her, any one to understand that he wasn't the bad guy because he wasn't "Daniel is a grown man; it's neither my place nor yours to tell him what he can and cannot do. He made his decision,"

"And what? We get to deal with the fall out?"

"Yes!"

"No," she took a menacing step forwards "I refuse to believe that. I _won't_ believe that." She prodded him hard in the chest "Daniel may have made his choice, he may have decided that he wanted to use that device but you didn't stop him, you didn't even try and now he's down there, frozen because his choice is killing him and all you can do is stand there in all your noble, I-know-everything-bull crap telling me it's going to be okay!"

"And it will! Just believe me!"

Her voice softened considerably and she fixed him with a pained stare "why should I believe a anything you say?"

"Vala…" he said a moment later, in an attempt to break through the icy silence.

"Just leave Nick," she answered wearily "get out,"

"Please-"

Vala opened her mouth to interrupt but she was cut off.

"You heard her Nick," Cam's voice was dangerously low "go home,"

Nick went to protest but when he saw the deadly look on the other man's face he surrendered and left with a sigh and a whisper of 'goodbye'.

Vala ran a hand through her hair and took a heavy breath as she wrapped her arms around herself in the basic equivalent to a self-hug "Cameron…"

He smiled weakly at her "I brought Chinese," he said, gesturing.

She smiled back sadly "I'm not really hungry,"

"Aww c'mon," he cajoled "you love egg rolls," he brushed passed her and deposited the boxes on the coffee table.

She opened her mouth to object but didn't have the heart too as he started to unload the contents of the bags and took a seat on the couch. Shaking her head she took a seat as well.

* * *

One would think, after the first half a dozen times, it would get easier. It didn't. 

Sam still found herself standing in his office, taking in the absolute disarray Daniel called filing, the coffee maker stood half empty in one corner, and every piece of visible paper, including the white board, was covered in scrawl that was neither legible nor understandable.

"He'll be fine," Jack's voice drifted over from the doorway.

"How can you be so sure?" she turned slowly "what if he's not?"

"He's Daniel,"

She laughed dryly "everyone runs out of chances," she looked back at the whiteboard sadly.

Jack shook his head "not Daniel,"

"There human body can only take so much." She said simply, then "it almost killed you," she said honestly.

He couldn't argue with that "but I'm not Daniel,"

"He's not invincible Jack!"

"I never said he was," he answered calmly "I just know him,"

Her eyes narrowed, she was short tempered and irritable and now was probably not the time to have this conversation "would you just stop it?" she hissed "one day he won't come back and then what are you going to do?"

His eyes darkened and he just turned around.

"Don't," she could only hope her voice hadn't broken as severely as it sounded.

He turned back slowly, not saying anything, just giving her chance to say whatever it was she wanted to say.

With everything else he accepted it. Tried his damnedest and if that didn't work then he moved on but with Daniel… it could never settle… after he was killed by the Replicator version of her, Jack had refused to do anything that would mean that Daniel was truly gone, okay so they hadn't been certain at the time that he was dead but they had enough intel to come to the conclusion that he was but whilst everyone else was begging for closure Jack refused to yield. Refused to admit it. Refused to say the words 'Daniel is dead.'

"Daniel's fine," he said firmly before turning on his heel and leaving without another word said.

* * *

"Wow," Cam said, leaning back in his seat "I'm stuffed," 

She smiled pleasantly over the top of the box in her hand, chopsticks hovering over the top; she swallowed what tasted like ashes.

"You're really not hungry are you?" he said, looking more than slightly disappointed.

Vala shook her head "sorry," she put the box down on the table with the chopsticks inside it.

"No," he began gathering up the boxes "I shouldn't have assumed."

God he was crap at this! _Why'd you ask me Jackson? Of all the people you could have asked, you chose me? Why?_ He and Vala… they were tentative friends, sort of… hung out when the others were there but alone? Not really something either of them were used to.

"I know what you're doing," she followed him as he went to put the rubbish in the trashcan in the kitchen.

He looked at her "you do?"

She nodded.

He copied her response and then asked, uncertainly "what did he say to you?"

"Hmm?" she looked up "oh," she was quiet for a moment and he almost regretted asking "he said…" a tiny smile danced across her lips before fading into nothing "that he was mine,"

He nodded dutifully.

"Listen…" she spoke slowly as if still deliberating it in her head "I need to go do something… could you stay and look after Lexy for a little while?"

Startled but willing to help he replied "sure,"

"Thank you," she said honestly, picking up the car keys and walking out the door.

* * *

Carolyn didn't look up at the knock on her office door simply called out "come in," and finished making adjustments to the chart in front of her "Vala," she said surprised "uh… how're you doing?" she gestured for her to take a seat as she took in the other woman's casual attire of tracksuit bottoms, sneakers, a t-shirt and a jacket that was only zipped half way. 

"I'm…" she trailed off, as if confused by the question and let silence fall for a second "can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she smiled at her, settling in her seat "fire away,"

"If I wanted to…" she paused "is it possible for me to change my name?"

"As in…" she let the question hang in the air.

"To Daniel's,"

Vala Maldoran. Vala Jackson. Different, not entirely unusual but different all the same.

"I don't see why not," she said slowly "do you… want too then?"

Vala looked at her "you would do that for me?"

"Well I could ask dad to get it sorted but yes," she was surprised by Vala's shock at her agreeing "of course I would,"

Vala nodded and smiled at her "thank you,"

"No problem," Carolyn answered gently "no problem at all,"

_Author's Notes: Got a little fiddly there, not that it will be obvious, just in respective to my plans… oh well, it'll sort it's self out!! _

_Next Chapter: As Vala comes to a conclusion, Sam begins to rethink her relationship with Jack._


	51. Betrayal

_Author's Notes: It's my 16th birthday today (August 26th) so I thought I'd update :) lol_

_So anyone else noticed that Sam and Jack are barely even given the time of day in this fiction? Lol! Let's give 'em a bit of that time…_

_This chapter and the next (should I just give up planning?) were meant to be just the one, but that just would prove to be too easy wouldn't it?_

Chapter 51: Betrayal

Sam turned her head to look at the figure lying next to her; the dark grey of the t-shirt fabric was taut across his shoulder, his hair silver and spiked into a disarray that was almost endearing.

Was this normal? Daniel was gone. At least for now… she hated the fact that a part of her wished it for real this time.

It was a Godsend every time Daniel came back, it really was, the heartbreak dissipated, the laughter and the joy and tears were worthwhile and the SGC became a throng of activity again rather than just another day on the job. He really was the heart and soul of… not so much the complex, but it's mission.

But how many times is one to many? How many times before that really is the end? And how many more times would they be expected to have to deal with the emotions with the 'he's almost-not-quite-could-be-any-minute dead' days? It wasn't that she wanted something to kill him it was that she wished he would stop doing so many damn reckless things.

The San Graal was important yes, they needed it, but Daniel… not that anyone else was all gung ho for throwing themselves at unknown devices. He always did it, no matter the stakes or the offer, it was always Daniel. Were near death experiences like a drug? 'Coz if they were she sure as hell was missing out on the fun.

It was as if he didn't care what anyone else thought, how he affected them, and not in a selfish way but more in a sense that it genuinely didn't occur to him that his worth was far higher than he thought.

In the early days Daniel really did seem to think that he wasn't quite as good as anyone else. He couldn't fire a gun, build a bomb, scare the locals or indeed, eat an MRE and make it seem like the most enjoyable thing he had ever consumed. He was just the guy who talked to much, ran ahead – so often O'Neill had mentioned once or twice a toddler harness in jest – and carried candy bars in his pocket to make up for the mac 'n' cheese that tasted like chicken.

But they had worked hard and for a while it seemed like he had finally come to accept that he was just as valuable, if not more so than the rest of them; they were just soldiers, plenty more where they came from but he was one of a kind.

Was it that he just got so caught up in the moment he paid no heed to anyone around him or that was more insecure than any of them realized? Or was it even that he was just a selfish bastard that liked making everyone around him suffer?

God this was confusing! She felt guilty about things she shouldn't and sick about all the others. She hated Daniel for doing what he did and yet loved him all the more for being so selfless – how can one action be both self_less_ and self_ish? _– She wanted closure but couldn't get it and everyone else was so caught up in their own issues that hers were miniscule in comparison; who was she to claim the 'limelight' when Vala was the one who had just lost her husband? But she hadn't really lost him… or maybe she had? For God's sake Daniel!

Jack shifted and muttered something in his sleep and she sighed heavily when he tugged some what irritably on the duvet until she surrendered and was left with just the corner as protection from the bitter cold of night.

_And therein, _she thought, _lies the problem._

Jack.

When it had happened, when he had kissed it her it had been one of the best few seconds of her life, perfect. It was every time. Alien influence, fear, shock, delight, alcohol, and even – like they were twelve year old girls at a slumber party – truth or dare.

Jack was everything she had wanted and couldn't have, and despite how she knew she was genuinely attracted to him there was just something underlying that made it difficult… years of training won't have helped.

She'd worked with Jack nearly a decade, been his second in command for just as long and sure, bonds grew between people like that, same as they had for all four of them; platonic yet unconditional love.

All of them, brotherly, sisterly… all of it. They were a family in a bizarre little way that couldn't always be named… Jack and Teal'c were brothers in arms, she and Daniel were older-sister-younger-brother… the relationships intermingled and you didn't have labels just feelings that drove you to protect and to run, to cry and to laugh. That made you so sure that you could call them up in the middle of the night and know, no matter the time, that they were there whether it be to listen or to come rushing over in their pajamas. That when you had no where else to turn there was always a bed waiting and a cup of coffee just minutes from creation. Could it be that she just felt some sense of binding to Jack that meant she couldn't let go?

No, that couldn't be it because she'd never felt the desire to bed either Daniel or Teal'c or Mitchell for that matter either.

It was an ingrained thought pattern, something you were taught from the beginning. Office relationships were frowned upon at the best of times but in the military it was almost as much of a no-go as homosexual relationships were. And she didn't even want to go anywhere near that one.

She loved Jack. At least she thought she did… but if that was the case than why did she feel uncomfortable even looking at him?

* * *

Vala swayed from side to side, completely oblivious to her movements and more than slightly perturbed that, that action was accompanied by soft humming to a tune she didn't recognize. 

Lexy waved her arms around above her head and laughed, a small smile lighting up the infant's entire face.

_God_, she thought, _how could I have ever blamed her?_

It wasn't Lexy's fault that Daniel had done what he had, no way, how it could it possibly be her fault? She wasn't even a year old.

Vala smiled wryly; she would never forget the look on Daniel's face as Carolyn handed them their tiny baby daughter. It hadn't been anything describable; just… she'd never seen anything like it before.

Without Lexy…

Would Daniel have ever listened to sense if it wasn't just her that he was throwing aside? Or was it simply that the combined thought of loosing both his wife and his unborn child in that car accident had spurred into more decisive action? Not that it seemed to make the slightest bit of difference now.

He'd had her. He'd had Lexy. He'd had _everyone_ and he'd still turned his back on them. Still gone to use that stupid machine even when she had begged him to stop, even when she'd offered to use it herself.

The numb distance had ignited like fuel; sparking into fury. Daniel had left them. He'd had a choice. The San Graal or them and he'd chosen the San Graal.

Everyone made such a big deal over it but in reality wasn't it a little risky to place everything on one thing? Sure she'd gambled, won some, lost others but – however amoral it sounded and wasn't gambling amoral anyway? – she always had a back up plan for when things didn't go quite as the odds predicted. Besides, how much of a guarantee was there that the damn thing would work anyway?

Daniel was considered to be some sort of hero in the SGC, whispers in the corridor, and hushed conversations over his latest escapade _'did you hear what Doctor Jackson did this time?' 'You'll never guess what Jackson's done…' 'Would you believe it? That Doctor Jackson…' _he wasn't a hero. He was a stupid, selfish man.

She hated him.

She really did.

_No you don't_.

She wanted to though.

Hate and love, love and hate… they were exactly the same thing. Two halves of a whole, both ends of the spectrum, everything and nothing at the same time, contradictory yet completely flattering one another. Without one you cannot feel the other and they are so closely related it's hard to believe that there are thousands of different feelings, emotions and sensations hovering in between the two.

She hated him just as much as she loved him and she loved him so much that she was actually capable of hating him enough for it to feel like fire.

Lies are like fire. Burning embers in the dark, they lick and brand and steal, taking everything within reach of the flame. If you stuck around long enough they burned you too.

Lexy shifted in her sleep, sighing and turning her head.

Little Lexy. The catalyst, her daughter, _her saving grace_. Innocence. Lexy was innocent. Vala envied that.

Innocence is a virtue lost far too soon. She hadn't been innocent since she was seven years old – thanks to her father – swindling and scamming her way out of sticky situations. Virginity lost by the time she was fifteen and wanted on several planets for various different crimes quite unbefitting of a mother before she'd hit twenty. But there was the brilliance; Lexy need never know that. An entirely clean slate.

In Lexy's eyes she could be a hero. A perfect mother, who knew everything worth knowing, after all, with Daniel gone, she didn't really have a choice. But for as long as she wanted, Lexy could be as innocent as her mother could keep her.

It sounded cruel in a way but in others it seemed perfectly acceptable.

She could keep her from ever knowing who Daniel was. That way she would never have to put up with the pitiful conversations and curious questions of _'mommy? Why don't I have a daddy?'_ a disembodied voice that had no substance at the same time as being strikingly real reverberated through her head. Lexy would never have to deal with heartache.

But the questions would still come wouldn't they? If not 'why' then 'where', and would she be able to justify lying to her daughter when such a time came when the child was not only capable of asking such questions but understanding the answer also? _'Sweetie, your daddy was a selfish bastard,' _

No! God no! No. No way. That was just… Daniel didn't deserve that. Maybe he deserved an earful or for her to 'loose' the key to a pair of handcuffs after she 'accidentally' snapped him to the bed… or the car… depends where he was at the time. Or possible for the coffee to 'magically' become decaf. But not Lexy. She couldn't take Lexy from him.

But he'd already taken himself out of the picture and if she couldn't take Lexy away from him, what right did he have to take himself away from her? And who was to say he was ever coming back?

Life was about taking chances, playing the game. Like poker; when things got boring, you upped the ante. Sometimes though, you could take one to many, and you _don't_ survive it and she'd be damned if she was just going to sit around and wait for the dreaded phone call _'Ma'am, I'm from the United States Air Force and I have some bad news regarding your husband…Doctor Daniel Jackson died in the line of duty…' _. No.

Daniel had taken his chance, stood on the cliff edge and jumped without a care for what he left behind. What kind of man did that make him? What kind of _wife_ was she if she'd just watched as he did it?

* * *

She'd brushed Jack off at breakfast, and then again as they walked into the commissary, ignoring him completely when she managed to get to the safe confines of her lab once every Tom, Dick and Harry had stopped trying to talk to her on the way there. 

"Okay," Jack said, picking up a slide with some sort of deposit on it that he didn't want to even think about trying to identify "I'll bite," he put it down "what's up?"

"Nothing," she replied, far too quickly and she cringed because she could practically _hear_ his eyebrows go up.

"Uh huh," he moved on, absently looking through a magnifying glass at a rather strange looking device that looked to be a cross between a small car engine and a play station.

Sam didn't say anything. Not because she didn't want too but more because she couldn't think of a way to explain it. Whatever 'it' was.

Insecurity wasn't normally something she had such a big problem with. She could be an extrovert if she wanted too but preferred to stay on the quiet side and as much as she liked Vala sometimes it was almost cringe worthy to watch her doing something that at the time, could seem quite unethical. And there was another thing to think about; Vala.

With Daniel gone Vala was on her own, she claimed to be dealing with it but she'd retreated, stayed quite and almost monosyllabic at times when someone spoke to her and the only person she really tried to relate to was Cameron, a given really, considering what Daniel had said to him.

Sam was happy… or at least she thought she was… a week ago maybe, possibly two. She had Jack. Everything she had yearned for years and was unable to have because of regulations but they'd never really stopped them before had they?

They'd snuck into the 'gate room to try and stop the happenings Daniel had foreseen in his impromptu visit to another universe. They'd disobeyed direct orders, found loopholes, bypasses and undermined nearly every single rule that they were supposed to be restricted by. Hammond had grown, rightfully, weary at times of their outlandish behavior but he would never do anything because there was always a way to say that it was 'for the good of the planet'.

What was so different about this rule? Okay so great sex was hardly a good defense for the planet… unless the likes of Apophis were into live porn shows and – good God that was disgusting! But they could have been secretive, hidden their relationship from those that would deem it wrong… possibly _not_ having an unbidden adoration for closets had stopped her?

Regulations… could they have been a wall? A sort of barrier between what she had and what she wanted and she used it as a buffer zone of sorts?

She shouldn't be second guessing her relationship with Jack. Not when all Vala wanted was her husband back and it didn't seem that she was going to be getting that any time soon.

Jack waved his hand in front of her face "Sam?"

She blinked owlishly at him.

"You okay?" he straightened up.

She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off as the motor-engine-come-play station hit the floor with a resounding crash, its collision course aided by his elbow.

Her expression of horror was not at all lessened by his comical jump back as the device sparked; part of it caught fire, and began emitting a kind of blue-grey smoke. She just stood there, watching the device burn until the flames slowly fizzled out.

"Sam I-" Jack began.

"Go away Jack," she muttered, kneeling by the device and trying to find out if any of it was worth salvaging.

"Sam-"

"Go!" she snapped, then slightly calmer "please?"

He nodded and left without another word.

* * *

Teal'c nodded and his lips curved into a smile as he opened the door to see Vala standing there, her daughter gurgling in her arms "Vala Maldoran," he said calmly, eyebrow rising when she made a noise of protest, a small silence fell during which time it dawned on him "very well," he half-smirked "Vala Jackson," 

The noise she had made at the mentioning of what – on this planet – was called her maiden name was not something she had thought about, it just happened and she felt a swell of something in her chest – pride maybe? Possibly grief? – as he repeated her name correctly.

"How are you?" he asked.

Mundane really; that questions. Could mean anything. A silly Earth custom to ask the bereaved how they were, what they felt, because no matter what they said, they were always second guessed; as if they had suddenly become liars as well as mourners. If they said that they were fine then they were 'falling apart' and if they said they didn't know they were 'clearly suffering' and if they said that their entire world had collapsed at their feet they were 'attention seeking' so really. They couldn't possibly win no matter what they said.

"I'm…"

How _was_ she? Not fine, definitely not. And if she said she was 'coping' one more time even she felt ready to hit something. She had no idea how she felt at least not in way that she could explain it.

Hollow but fill to bursting, desperate but exhausted, weary but fueled by an endless supply of adrenalin; when was the last time she had slept?

"Can you look after Lexy for a little while?" she ended the sentence with what she hoped was a convincing smile.

Teal'c frowned but graciously took the squirming infant "what are you going to do?" he asked gravely, his voice heavy with trepidation.

"To see someone," she was already walking back down the corridor, her back to the rather amusing scene behind her of the large jaffa cradling the fragile baby in his arms.

_Now,_ she thought, _how do I fly a puddle jumper?_

_Author's Notes: Alas! The end of chapter 51! Please review!_

_Next Chapter: Vala makes a trip._


	52. Pretty Lies

_Author's Notes: Should I be at all concerned about my apparent lack of self control in regards to updating this fiction? I write the chapters so I can be ahead of myself but wait no longer than three days between updates so in actual fact all I'm doing is updating so rapidly that I've actually done myself no favors at all! lol_

_So Nick was a complete jerk in the show (but oh how I loved that episode!) and he sort of turned into Supreme Butt Kicker upon his entrance to this fiction and then became a jerk again, and I figure, the guy can't be completely bad or completely good, he has way to much going on for that to happen so I've inserted a little bit (yeah, like this is only a 'short' fiction) of thinking on Nick's part here that wasn't originally due to exist. _

_Moira is Nick's ex wife, Claire's mother, I don't think she's mentioned in the show so I named her myself, and the name just seemed to fit._

Chapter 52: Pretty Lies

The walls were gray and bare, filled with nothing because he had not thought to do so. The room in general was simple; he liked it that way, having lived his childhood in a room decorated by his mother, his young adult hood in university rooms, hotels and more often than not, tents. And then onto the psychiatric ward in Oregon where the walls had been more of an off white than anything else and very little else was permitted into the rooms that was not plain, simple and or bolted to the floor. The clinically insane were capable of the strangest things.

The only thing that marred the perfect grey paint was an ugly painting he hadn't had the heart to remove or the care to try. Sam had once or twice offered to take him shopping for some more colorful items to brighten the room up a bit but he had declined, preferring the safe confines of simplicity to the boisterous sensations of modern art.

One would have assumed that as an academic and an archaeologist there would be books, notes, artifacts and clutter filling every available surface space but that was just not the case because having spent seven years on a planet where it would seem that food, drink, and personal items were unnecessary, he had nothing other than what he had been carrying with him when he had gone through the 'gate in the first place.

Of course he had gathered various bits and pieces and whilst the need to use every inch of space was not a trait that belonged only to Daniel he had remained conservative, buying only what he needed since his return to Earth and the most he had splashed out on was a library card; speaking of which, the few books he had borrowed, must be long overdue.

Nick sat down on the edge of his bed, the mattress creaked a little under the strain of his weight but he ignored it in favor of leaning forwards and opening the drawer of the nightstand, pulling out the battered pile of paper and photographs and placing them methodically on his lap. He smiled as he pulled a seemingly random picture from the pile and it showed itself to be one of his daughter, grinning at the camera delightedly; she must have been five, or six months pregnant at that point.

Danny. The little boy in whose eyes he did no wrong; understanding far more than he should and betrayed by the man whom he should have been able to rely on. In truth Claire's death had meant nothing to him at first, the news had been nothing more than simple glitch in his plans, attending the funeral more out of duty than remorse, declining the nearing pleas of the social services worker as she had tried to get him to take his orphaned grandson into custody with little more than annoyance in his tone. He hadn't even cried.

He'd crouched in front of the eight-year-old boy and taken his trembling hands in his as the boy tried to act like he wasn't crying, telling him calmly that he was sorry but now was not a good time, maybe in a few months when he'd finished his current job. He'd given the boy false hope, whether that was right or wrong he still could not decide.

He had never asked Daniel about the foster homes, and he wasn't sure he ever would. The subject was a sore one, if only for him.

Whilst most of the papers were yellowing and scuffed the newest of the collection of images was not and he felt a stab of guilt rise in his chest as he saw the photograph in his hands. Taken at the SGC Christmas party, the only people missing from the image were Nick himself and Teal'c who had been the one taking the picture at the time. Everyone from Sergeant Harriman to General Landry was smiling and laughing, cups of eggnog heavy in their hands, mistletoe, tinsel and fairy lights hanging over head. They were happy. Why had he taken that away?

He'd abandoned Daniel all those years ago but he'd done pretty damn well for himself, creating his own family amongst the employees at Stargate Command and doing so with such ease it was unlikely that he even knew half the people who would gladly call him friend. He had friends who cared for him, a wife who loved him and a baby daughter who was the start of a whole new story and Nick had taken that all away.

He had known yes. The accusations had not been unfounded and he did not blame anyone of them for hating him for it, he hated himself, but things had to be done, it was the only way. The Giant Aliens had entrusted him with more information than he could ever possible of dreamed of, he knew more now than he could ever have hoped to have learnt in ten life times excavating burial tombs and reading books. The San Graal had only been a small segment of that.

But still, Daniel _had_ to be the one that used Merlin's device. He did not know why and, stupidly, he had not cared to ask. None of the others could have done it, as much as Sam was the military girl with no sense of fear she would never have been able to keep using that device, not because she wasn't physically capable of it so much as she was unsure about the lasting affects. Sam liked to know what would happen next, whether consciously or not a decision like that would mean cause for dozens of experiments in various different parameters before she would have tried it.

Mitchell was just wrong for it. Relying on those around him too much for him to be able to do something like that. Whilst he had been with the team for as long as he had part of the man was still uncertain as to whether or not he would ever be accepted as part of the close knit group therefore forsaking himself like that, leaving himself open and vulnerable would mean trusting that the rest of the team would have his six not only in battle but for the brazen chill of aftermath.

Vala could have just as easily done it but, and as wrong, in this day and age, as he knew it was, he still firmly believed that women should no more be put at risk than is possible. Sam chose to put herself on the frontline, but Vala was a young mother, it was hard to explain and even harder to justify.

Daniel could do it because he trusted, too much a lot of the time but he was willing to give most people the benefit of the doubt and as much as a flaw that trait could be in regards to being able to keep going back even when Vala was begging him not too that trust was a gift. He had known that no matter what happened someone would be there to catch him when he stumbled, if it were Sam or Mitchell, Vala or Jack, Teal'c or even, Nick mused, him. He knew that there would _always_ be someone there.

Vala's words in Merlin's lab had been painful, not that he would ever admit it out loud. He cared. Of course he cared he just had serious trouble showing it sometimes, too caught up in his work to notice anything other than that which presented itself via the intricate markings of Mayan temples, Egyptian tombs and crystal skulls. He'd lost so many important people over the years for his work, and it wasn't even something he was aware of until far too late. He hadn't even noticed his marriage was on the rocks until Moira had packed her bags and walked out the door - to borrow a Jack O'Neill phrase - for crying out loud.

Daniel was his grandson, he could not help but care, and he had loved Claire also, despite the fact the poor girl hadn't probably heard it from him since her early teens. No, he hadn't cried upon hearing the news of his daughter's death, nor at the funeral, or even at the wake. It had taken him four years before he had shed a single tear over her death; she had come up in one of his sessions with his psychiatrist, how he did not remember, and in a brief silence that followed a question he did not want to answer the floodgates had opened and he had wept for a daughter he had never shown affection to, a son-in-law he had barely said two words to and a grandson he had left alone in a world he was too young to defend himself from.

The guilt was a ghost that would haunt him for the rest of his life, forever looming over his shoulder. He had, had a long time to think when he had been in the psychiatric home and many of the subjects which had resurfaced he had buried so far into his memory that he had hoped never to remember them again; his parents deaths, his divorce… so many mistakes behind fixing; so many shadows without a face.

He had hoped that he would have been able to at least _try_ and make things right. Maybe for Daniel himself it was far too late but there was always the option of building new bridges rather than fixing old ones and Vala and Lexy had been the perfect opportunity.

How had it come to this?

The San Graal. A task, a mission, something that he had fixed his eye on and blocked everything else out, words meant nothing, restraining hands were nothing more than hindrance and hesitation a hurdle that need not to be taken. Narrow minded and driven he had pressed on without a care for what it did for those around them. Like the bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima; the idea itself was thrived upon, the devastation caused by the bombs unfathomable; with wide eyes and hearts filled with dread pilots had looked down upon the destruction they had caused and been horrified to see the results of their actions. The fall out to a bomb he had dropped without thinking.

But everything had to be okay, it was nothing more than a wish in his head but in his heart he _knew_ something. What it was he did not know; similar to when he had first discovered access to the location of the San Graal, slippery and sentient, it avoided his grasp and hid in the deepest reaches of his mind; Merlin was not finished.

* * *

The controls hummed and the lights glowed in a bluish hue that illuminated her face as she stared through the window out onto the vast amounts of white in front of it. She was lucky, she guessed, that she was able to pilot the puddle jumper else she would have been looking at hijacking both a helicopter and a pilot because whilst the puddle jumpers practically flew themselves, a helicopter was subsequently more difficult. 

She neither knew nor cared why she was capable of piloting the craft, ideas popped into her head anyway and she was forced to admit that the most dominant was that which led to Adria; the Orisi had probably left some sort of marker in her blood – similar to that which a symbiote left – and therefore she was allowed to use Ancient technology. It hurt too much to think about. Not that there was great deal she felt she could contemplate without it hurting in some way, shape, or form.

If she closed her eyes all she saw was green; the flickering light from Merlin's device as it cast shadows up and down the walls, the steady hum and buzz melodic and consistent; it seemed almost peaceful – how was that even possible?

The landscape around her was vast, white and completely desolate so she had not too worry about the puddle jumper being seen as she landed it and opened the door; she wasn't exactly dressed for the violent chill Antarctic winds brought with them and she shuddered convulsively as she braved the flurry of flakes dancing down onto the already satin ground.

* * *

"Unauthorized off-world activation!" Walter called over the intercom and General Landry heaved a sigh; could a single day not go by where such proclamations need not to be made? 

"Who is it?" Landry asked, walking into the control room as the technicians busied themselves with the dialing computer and all the safety protocols that went with it.

"We haven't received an IDC yet sir," Walter reported.

"How many teams currently off world?"

"Seven if you include the two guarding the San Graal sir," and then "none of them are due to check in for another two hours minimum," the last few words of his sentence were drowned out by the hissing off a video feed coming to life.

"Hello?" a man's face appeared on screen "hello?" he tapped the camera lens.

"Hello," the General replied.

The man jumped and looked a little taken aback by the sound.

"I'm General Hank Landry of Earth,"

"I recognize him," Ferretti announce his presence in the control room, peering at the screen intently "that's Lulo!" He sounded immensely proud of himself for having remembered the name, and off Landry's look "we met him on PD8 K50 a few months back sir,"

"Lou?" Lulo said, grinning manically when he recognized a friendly face.

"Yeah!" Ferretti had obviously struck up a friendship with this man "how's Semka?"

"She is very well thank you," Lulo smiled at the fact that the other man had remembered his wife.

"Excuse me?" Landry cut in.

"Sorry sir," Ferretti said, even though it was obvious he didn't really mean it.

Landry rolled his eyes.

"What's up?" Ferretti asked Lulo.

"There is a grave threat hanging over my people," the smile dissipated, and it was almost as if he were speaking from a prompt screen "a man in robes visited us many days ago, he returned a short while ago," tears pricked his eyes "there were great fires. Many of our women and children have passed,"

"Priors?" Landry asked, but Ferretti's eyes had hardened as if he felt for the man.

"What do you need us to do?" Ferretti asked smoothly.

"I would not normally ask but these circumstances… you must understand that we cannot possibly care for all our injured; there are so few of us well and so many of us sick…" Lulo paused "we ask only sanctuary,"

"We'll send you medical supplies immediately," Landry reached for the phone.

"No!" Lulo looked stricken "I am sorry but that will not work…"

"Why not?"

"The attacks will not stop!" He cried "so many have already perished in the flames!"

"They just want somewhere safe to stay," Ferretti said, trying to sway his CO.

Landry would not look at him "how many of you are there?"

"Twenty eight," Lulo answered quietly "we…"

"Can you vouch for them?" Landry looked Ferretti in the eye; Ferretti nodded "you leave in an hour,"

Ferretti nodded and hurried away after a brief look at the video camera.

Landry turned back to Lulo "a team will escort you safely to the 'gate," he said, resentment an underlying note to his voice but more for the fact that although unfounded, the idea of the SGC becoming a safe haven was not unusual; they had already housed Shyla and her people with ease. He sighed.

* * *

Vala had been fine until she had walked into the room, a little chilly but not uncomfortably so after she had zipped her coat right up so she seemed to resemble a cross between a giant khaki colored marshmallow and a caterpillar. It was when she had reached the door that her stomach had dropped and her chest had tightened, it had been then when she remembered. 

Everything had been fine, or she'd been telling everyone she was fine and it was… in a way. There were moments when she wanted to just curl in a corner and cry, or simply disappear. And there were others where she could pretend that this was how it had always been, and it was those fragile seconds in between that she treasured; the ones where she felt nothing it at all.

The assault of something entirely new had not been expected and the last thing that she had wanted to do was feel something different, because better meant forgotten and worse… worse felt like this.

Like there was something alive, roaming around inside her stomach, tossing and turning to find a desirable position, trying desperately to fight tears she did not want to fall. He was gone, he'd left her and yet he was right there, exactly as she had left him. Frozen in ice because he'd made a decision that had cost him more than he had probably realized it would.

What was worse? Watching him sustained, preserved and maintained at exactly the same point in time as everyone around him aged and grew and got older. Continued living there lives as they moved on and passed him. Or was it worse just to let him die? Could she have done that?

How could he be right in front of her and yet a million miles away? Ice barely three inches thick prevented her from touching him and her gloves slid against the watery residue skimming across the block he was frozen in.

He'd ignored her, he'd _left _her. Alone when he'd promised her always, without him when he'd said forever… was eternity really that short?

It was almost strange the fact that the entire room was bathed in a soft light, when Daniel had so preferred working in the dark, it had been his way of thinking, as if a lamplight was a focal point, something that helped him think about just the one object in front of him instead of the thousands of thoughts that reverberated around his mind every minute of everyday and yet now… now it was all so bright; as if the offensive lights were supposed to be a permanent reminder that he had faded without a focus, or a pivot, just a total mesh of complete and utter disarray.

She tapped the ice with her foot; it both felt and looked like glass "Daniel," she whispered softly, her voice a hiss in the silence "Daniel,"

"…_I love you… marry me… always..." _

She turned away, trying to take a breath that refused to come; it was like suffocating only much, much worse.

"… _too many thoughts in my head… confused…let it happen…only way… Merlin's device…"_

She bit her lip until she tasted blood, closed her eyes and listened to the roar and howl of the winds around the cavern, clenching her fists tightly at her sides as voices pounded her memory and attacked her ears with a brutality that howled it's ferocity with the gales outside.

"_I had the strangest dream… everything was covered in ice…"_

Whirling around her fist collided with the wall of the pod, as hard as rock and as harsh as stone. She staggered back, her hand throbbing "why'd you do that?" her throat burned as she screamed the words that were no where near as pain filled as her chest was. A mere echo of an echo, a long since spoken whisper of an agony that seared far deeper than any flame could ever reach, "why'd you go and do that?" She kicked the ice and the blow skimmed past; much like her words so blatantly had days before "you've destroyed everything!" she howled her displeasure and leant heavily against the pod "I _told _you! Daniel! I begged you not to do it! And you _did _it anyway!" the smarting in her palm spread down her fingers and up her arms.

She brushed her hair back roughly "you… left me…" did she mean that little? Were her words so insignificant that he could ignore them so easily? So without guilt or remorse or any form of pain or regret? "Wake up!" the icy air made her lungs scream at the sudden invasion of frosty oxygen but that was nothing "wake up! Come on!" she shook the block in front of her violently, throwing her weight against it but it didn't move, didn't even budge.

The ice stayed frozen, the pod stayed dim and he stayed still.

"_I love you… I love you…"_

"Come back! Get out of there and tell me you meant it!" again she kicked it, again it glanced off and again it just angered her further.

A wall of ice keeping her from him that barred her touch, which protected him from her wild punches and vicious kicking. He shouldn't have done it.

God, _why?_ Why? What right did he have to do this, to cause everyone so much pain, so much grief?

They'd warned her, Jack and the others, they'd said he'd forget, that he wouldn't remember them at all eventually but she hadn't believed them. How could he forget her? And their baby, their beautiful little baby.

Had there been a day of solitude?

She was fool to think he gave a damn, to think he would actually care, the words 'I love you' were just that, words, nothing more, nothing less, they certainly weren't the truth because he if loved her he would have listened.

The ice refused to break and her fists refused to stop flying, colliding with the solid wall of frozen water again and again without respite, her arms ached and cramped but she kept hitting it, it didn't shake, didn't murmur, did nothing and it was infuriating.

Where was he to tell her to stop?

Where was he to roll his eyes and sigh as she accused him blindly?

Where was he to hold her so tightly it almost hurt but it was secure, so safe nothing could break through the bubble of serenity that he created just by touching her because he definitely wasn't the man who caused her this heartbreak?

Daniel wouldn't do this, he wouldn't make it hurt this much, and he wouldn't have been so guileless to think it wouldn't hurt her, that he wasn't needed. This was just a trick… a nightmare, she would awaken any minute wrapped in the sheets and screaming as she flailed out, searching sightlessly for an anchor.

And then he would appear, stumble in from down the hall where Lexy had woken crying and hungry, half asleep and exhausted from so many nights of unrest he would crawl into bed and straighten the sheets. Wrap himself around her and either listen as she spoke or just sit there, holding her, not going to sleep until she was once more slumbering.

She howled in anguish as her fists began to hurt as her pounding of the pod continued. "You've got no… right…" her chest heaved and she could barely breathe any more let alone talk; her mind, her thoughts, her entire being filled with _him_. "You can't do this!" she wailed "You can't just leave… le-ave me here! Wake up dammit! Wake up and tell me this isn't real!" the tears were warm rivers against her flushed cheeks, she slumped to her knees, snow parting with a soft patter as she slumped into it's depths, cushioning her fall against the equally frozen floor. "Tell me this… is-isn't… re-real…"

She fell against the pod, leaning against it, curling into herself as she wept so much her entire body heaved with each sob that wracked her chest and tore her throat to shreds, there would never be enough tears to cry or enough words to describe what this felt like. It was unbelievable, far worse than being burned alive because that meant an end, it seared like nothing as it ate at your skin and licked at your hair but it was nothing compared to this. A dull ache that made her sick, yet refused to let her eat, her head spinning and her mind in a constant state of irreparable agony that swarmed and swallowed her every rational believe whole.

Every time she closed her eyes she would see him only to open them to find the room empty, the walls bare and the bed not slept in, his office had not been touched, and his locker remained as it was. Everyone said he'd be back but no one believed it possible, she knew that, that's what made it so many times worse. Everyone she trusted, that she dared to say that she loved was lying to her, telling her that everything was going to be okay when it wasn't going to be. She wasn't stupid; she just was too far-gone to care.

_Next Chapter: When Vala and the puddle jumper are pronounced missing, Carter and Mitchell jump right to the end of the equation and, as usual, find the solution instantly. However, the same cannot be said for Sam and Jack. Also, an unexpected visitor arrives in their midst…_


	53. Despondence

_Author's Notes/Disclaimer: This is a little complicated… it would seem that this entire fiction fits in after 'Memento Mori' using episodes I want too and ignoring all the others i.e. 'The Quest'. Now I finally (two days before I went on holiday) managed to see 'Family Ties' (Teal'c at the end… lmao!) and I had to bring Jacek in and I thought about it and fiddled and altered and moved bits around to find an appropriate place for him to come in and voila! Here it is! I'm not going to write the whole episode in, just have it going on in the background if that make sense … Some dialogue may be altered to fit to context. However it appears, if you recognize it, it's not mine. _

_I'm not sure what to think of this chapter… _

Chapter 53: Despondence

Sam stepped aside and smiled politely at the refugees as they walked down the corridor, muttering and whispering in patched English and pointing at things as they passed. Completely awestruck at the technology around them their fingers brushed across the walls and doors, and Sam could not help but grin when they all jumped as one when an elevator door opened and three marines strolled out purposefully. Shaking her head she continued on towards General Landry's office.

"Sir?" She knocked on the open door and clasped her hands behind her back, standing straight when the General looked up.

"At ease Colonel," he said, leaning forwards onto his desk and gesturing to a chair in front of him that Cam wasn't already sat in.

She nodded and took her seat, glancing at Mitchell as she did so.

"How is it going with Arthur's Mantle?" he asked.

Sam had a feeling that this wasn't the topic of her summons but answered anyway "not so great sir," she admitted, why it wouldn't she had no clue but for some reason… everything was so frustrating, her mind buzzing with a thousand thoughts, her head felt ready to explode if she kept at it the way she was. There was no reason for the Mantle Project not to be going full steam ahead and she felt ever so slightly guilty that she hadn't been spending as much time on it as she should have "I can extend the field," she said "to conceal approximately half of Colorado but I'm having problems getting it to do much more than that,"

Landry nodded and then "we're missing a puddle jumper," he cut straight to the point.

"Sir?" She frowned, not quite sure as to where this was going.

"Captain Owen just informed me thirty minutes ago and apparently the last person to be seen going in there was Captain Fossgrove four hours previously. The jumper was there when she left," he sighed and leant back in his chair, suddenly looking very tired.

"Who can fly one of those things around here?" Cam asked, shifting in his chair.

"Jack… Daniel will be able to now… I can't think of anyone else," Sam replied, eyebrows knitting together neatly in a frown.

"Doctor Jackson is out of the question," Landry said "have you seen Jack recently?"

"He's with Teal'c," Sam answered methodically.

"So…" Landry prompted when silence fell.

Cam's eyes suddenly became wide and he jumped to his feet, "sir I need to…"

"Mitchell?"

"Please sir," he refused to let one iota of the panic rising in his chest taint his voice.

"Dismissed," Landry sighed; completely bemused as Cam bolted down the corridor.

* * *

The windscreen wipers were working overtime and still failing to brush the slew of rain of the glass; each stroke was immediately covered by more rain falling, if possible, even harder. He shifted his jacket collar whilst steering with the other hand and the car juddered as he scrambled to change gear a moment too late. 

He bounced off the curb and gave up entirely when he mounted the sidewalk outside the apartment building at a speed that was probably far from wise. Jumping out of the car he shivered as rain trickled down the back of his neck and pooled somewhere between his back and the fabric of his shirt.

Ducking his head he jogged up to the building's entrance and resisted the urge to shake in an almost dog like manner when he got inside; he made a beeline for the elevator.

He nearly slipped as he stumbled out of the lift but managed to regain his footing and he didn't even bother knocking as he half fell into the apartment. He didn't even have to search the rooms to know that it was empty.

Cursing under his breath he swept his rain-soaked hair off his forehead, sending it into absurd looking spikes.

"Cameron?" Sam appeared next to him; apparently she had followed.

"She's gone," he whispered.

Sam was silent, surveying the empty apartment of her friends she felt a jolt of regret spike in her gut; _Daniel was gone_.

"Dammit she's gone!" he swept the small table next to him clear; papers floated to the floor, pens scattered in various directions and a half empty glass of water bathed the mess with a tinkle of shattering glass.

She jumped at the violent outburst and as she could think of nothing else to do to help him she concentrated on breathing calmly and evenly, hoping he would take the hint and follow her example.

"I promised… I said…" he looked angry that he could not seem to form the right words "he asked me to look after her!"

"You couldn't possibly have known," Sam soothed "Vala's unpredictable,"

"Lexy…" and suddenly the panicked expression on his face had faded into nothing and 'military Mitchell' was back "she'll be with Teal'c…" he span on his heels to face the blonde woman next to him "we need to get to Antarctica,"

"There's an Alkesh at Area 52,"

* * *

Carolyn smiled and backed away from her latest patient, her infirmary was almost full, VIP rooms were going to have to start housing the least sick and the nurses were going to have to go there to treat anyone that needed treating, if many more arrived; more refugees had come in since Lulo's company, and the SGC seemed to be turning into some sort of safe haven. 

"Carolyn," Landry said with a weary smile as he walked into the infirmary "how's it going?"

"How many more?" she sighed.

His pseudo cheery expression faded "how much more room do you have?"

"Dad!" she exclaimed "this is ridiculous!"

"I know," he agreed "but there's nothing we can do; we are their allies. Their homes have been destroyed,"

"What about the Alpha Site? Can't we send any there?"

"We're trying," he sounded exhausted "but it's difficult; where do we send them from there?"

"I have three doctors on duty," she half protested "including me. Doctor Warner should have gone home three hours ago. It's his son's birthday and I'd send him home if I could but the way things are going I really can't afford to,"

"It's sudden I know…"

"Sudden?" she half smiled at him.

He smiled back "you're doing a great job,"

She nodded professionally.

"I'll see what I can do," he assured her, giving her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before he left.

* * *

"Sam," Jack's voice would have once had her turning to face him immediately or at least letting him know that she had heard him some way, now it just made her sigh in frustration. 

She turned "yes?"

"I'm coming with you,"

"No Jack," she said, turning back around and continuing her war with the particularly stubborn zipper on her jacket.

"I'm going," he repeated firmly.

"No," she turned "you're not. This isn't your mission, it's mine and Cameron's, just leave us to it," then "please,"

Jack paused and for a moment Sam thought he had left once her back was on him again "are you mad at me because I broke that thing in your lab?" he pressed, needing to know what he had done wrong so he could fix it.

"God!" she threw her head back exasperatedly and whirled around yet again "you can be so stupid sometimes!"

He looked stung. Or at least as stung as it was possible for Jack O'Neill to look without it being severely out of character.

"Just…" how was she supposed to continue after that? "Give me some space," she spared only a glance for him as she hurried from the room.

* * *

"You must be the General!" a man with dark hair and small eyes exclaimed, and what could already be seen to be a constant lopsided smile on his face as he approached. 

Landry looked up from his meal at the man addressing him "yes," he said slowly "and who're you?"

"It is a pleasure!" he said enthusiastically as he slid into a seat opposite him. "I don't get out to your end of the galaxy much but I do have friends in the area." He examined Landry's meal sceptically however any ideas he had about stealing anything from his plate were thwarted when the other man pulled his lunch closer to him "I was trying to secure a business deal with the people on this lovely little planet, run by a man called… Lilo… Lola…"

"Lulo?" Landry supplied somewhat unhappily.

"That's that guy!" he grinned "anyway I was just trying to come to some sort of bargain with him when a man… a Prior? I think… came through the Stargate and Lulo offered me shelter, which of course I accepted,"

He wasn't sure what to say, this man, whoever he was, was offering up his life story and as rude as it probably sounded; he didn't give a damn "what do you want?"

The man's jovial features darkened and he spoke in grave tones "sir I have some information for you. Information that could impact the very survival of your world,"

It would have sounded comical if it weren't for the fact that, that statement was probably painfully true.

"Who are you?"

"That is of little importance," he went to steal a french fry.

"No," Landry disagreed, pulling his lunch even further away from him "I think it's of the utmost importance,"

The man sighed dramatically, holding out his hand for General Landry to shake "I'm Jacek," he introduced himself "Jacek Maldoran,"

* * *

The frigid winds were like thousands of tiny knifes pricking his skin and all instincts were telling him to run back inside to the warmth and safety of the Alkesh they had just landed and any half formed hopes that Vala wasn't in Antarctica faded the instant they saw the puddle jumper not ten feet from them. 

The cavern was like a fire-warmed hearth compared to the winds they had been forced to battle with outside and Cam almost unzipped his coat but the sound of snow crunching underfoot made him rethink that plan of action, his stomach plummeted when his gaze fell on the pod; obscured by the ice and distorted but not enough to be able to completely conceal the face of the man being stored in there. Cam's head was spinning.

Sam wasn't sure what to expect when she walked into the underground cave. In fact she hadn't got the faintest clue. Vala was unpredictable at the best of times, in many ways she was like a wild animal; content when she was happy and confident but bolted like a rabbit when threatened – not physically but emotionally – her grounding had always been Daniel, whether either had always been aware of she was unsure but enough of the time for half the SGC to have noticed it.

She was surprised therefore, when she saw Vala sat on the floor by the pod bearing her husband and she was not sure why that was the case because in all honesty; what the hell else was she going to do?

Neither she nor Cam knew what to say; what words would be accurate? Which phrases would be a curse or a trap? And more to the point; would anything work? Answer? Probably not.

It would have seemed though, that whilst it was self evident that Vala had been crying, and judging by the scatter and disturbance of the snow, moving around considerably, which Sam was certain meant that the pod had suffered a severe beating from the alien brunette and therefore it was even less shocking for Vala to be seated on the icy carpet of the Antarctic floor. That she had noticed her team mates enter the cavern as she spoke, albeit hoarsely and with a catch in her throat "what am I supposed to tell her?"

Sam felt the hot ache of tears in her eyes, the pressure in her head building and she grit her teeth and blinked harshly against the pain. By 'her' Vala meant Lexy and by 'what' she meant 'how'. "I don't know," she answered truthfully.

Vala snorted derisively "of course not,"

That comment should have stung. It didn't.

Silence fell again and the wind whistled through cracks in the ice and down narrow corridors too small for humans to fit through. Cam jammed his hands into his pockets and ducked his head into his neck as one of the breezes whipped him across the back of the legs and back.

"I want to hate him," she said simply, as if it were a perfectly normal statement.

"No you don't," Sam answered gently "none of us do,"

"I do," she repeated firmly, sending the blonde a stern look over her shoulder before she gazed back into the face of her husband.

"You-" Sam tried again but Mitchell cut her off.

"I should imagine that right now you probably do," he said casually, or at least it _sounded_ that way "I know I for one am pretty pissed at him,"

Vala gave a brief nod that could have been a simply twitch as opposed to an outright agreement.

"He loved you," Sam bit her lip to keep from cringing at how she was talking about him as if he were dead, he wasn't. Daniel didn't die. Annoyed the hell out of a lot of people.

She made a strange noise in the back of her throat "funny way to prove it,"

"He shouldn't have had too," it sounded accusatory but it wasn't meant too, Vala took it that way.

"I did,"

Sam opened her mouth to object but with a soft rustle of fabric Vala rose gracefully to her feet and dusted the sand from the seat of her pants.

"For months I had to prove it too him, show him I genuinely cared. That it wasn't some game," her eyes were red rimmed and her voice trembling even as the words themselves sounded strong and self assured "what right does he have to throw it all back in my face?"

"He didn't…" God how to say it? How was she supposed to defend Daniel from the well reasoned proposals of the one person he should never need to be defended from?

"Jackson had to use that thing," Cam said slowly "we didn't like it and I think," he selected his words carefully "I think that it was probably the hardest thing he'd ever done,"

"Stop it," fists clenched slowly at her sides "stop talking about him like he's gone,"

"Vala…"

"He's right there!" from calm and collected to abrupt and final; voice like a whip and just as harsh.

Scorching fury simmering beneath a pristine surface; like a frozen lake, sliver thin at the centre, one step and with a crack you've sunk.

Sam blinked hard again, her head pounding as she tried to quell the tears rising to the surface and sucking like ocean currents at the walls of her throat.

Vala took a heavy breath and suddenly seemed ten times smaller than she was already, eyes wide and glistening in the semi darkness, her usual fill-a-room happy-go-lucky personality deflating considerably "what am I supposed to do?"

Sam glanced at Mitchell helplessly.

"You hear me?" she whirled around to face the pod again "what do you expect me to do now huh?" she gave the ice a hard kick, her boot bouncing off without so much as chipping at it "you're gone! You gave up and now I'm left here on my own!" she hit the pod with an open palm; it made a dull thud as it collided "it didn't work! The San Graal isn't finished! It was a waste of time! A mistake!"

Sam took her arm and tried to pull her back but Vala easily twisted herself free and launched herself back at the pod with twice as much vigor as before.

"You were wrong Daniel, it's not okay, none of it is okay! You were the only…" she swallowed numbly "the only thing that…" she hit the pod again "you lost Daniel!" hot tears spilled down her cheeks, slipping down the column of her throat and soaking her collar "you lost and… and… _I don't know what to do_!" she fell to her knees again, loose snow scattering with wet patters as it land "what am I supposed to do?" she whispered pitifully, swiping angrily at her cheeks "what am I… I don't… I can't do this! I can't!"

Sam crept forwards again, dropping to a crouch with practiced ease beside the weeping woman and carefully wrapped her arms around her shoulders, hugging her tightly as words caught in her throat, half formed sentences getting trapped as she tried to think of something, anything that would relieve some of the pain.

Cam was left looking blankly at the duo on the floor, the soft sobs muffled by Sam's coat echoed from the walls of the cavern and he had to swallow the lump in his throat and avert his gaze when Sam looked at him. Vala was right; what next?

_Author's Notes: Now that's the last of what I wrote whilst I was on holiday, but I will try and have Chapter 54 written by the time I go back to school on the 5th :( _

_Next Chapter: Landry makes a call and Nick makes a visit._


	54. Pegasus 911

_Author's Notes: I'm gonna say right off the mark that this chapter may bring mixed emotions. Atlantis is going to... play a part in this fiction... and I want to say more I really do because there are reasons but if I do then I'll ruin everything._

_In short the Atlantis idea was for Jess; she's a big Mckay fan, and despite how he is the hardest character I have ever had to write I'm going to give it a shot and hope you can all bear with me (obviously if it's horribly wrong then let me know - __**nicely:)**_

_Disclaimer (in case people get picky): Atlantis isn't mine. Some lucky bugger owns that too. _

Chapter 54: Pegasus 911

"Dammit," Mckay muttered to himself, jabbing a key on his laptop viciously and therefore deleting half the data that was on screen, not that it mattered; none of it made sense anyway.

Shifting in his seat he looked up at the ceiling inadvertently when he stretched, suppressing a shudder at the memories this particular lab evoked; not entirely pleasant but in retrospect large areas of the city had been witness to many less than attractive moments and scenarios. This one was just a particularly stubborn one as the nano virus that had infected himself and, at first, just his team until Peterson had panicked and stupidly gone and infected dozens of other people as well.

The disease itself was proving to be as stubborn as it had three years ago; its secrets were still a mystery to him - and well, if he couldn't figure it out, who could? – As he had said at the time, it was a completely insane idea that the wraith would have created such a thing, and the Ancients? Why would they want to kill humans? And the lingering prospect that there was a possibility, however slight, that they could have, was not comforting in the slightest.

The HAZMAT suit was not particularly easy to work in but it was either that or risk getting infected by the virus again and vivid hallucinations of monsters that weren't there ending with a fatal aneurysm weren't appealing any day of the week.

Sighing quietly he went back to staring pointlessly at his laptop. The city was quiet; there had been no problems with the wraith for nearly two weeks, both on Atlantis and off world. Missions had gone as much to plan as ever, admittedly no one had found another ZPM yet and most of the worlds visited were not even half as technologically advanced as even Earth and so trade opportunities had been either non existent or for cultural investigation.

"Rodney," his radio crackled to life.

He pressed the button to respond "yes?"

"Where are you?" Sheppard asked, almost casually.

"Busy." He replied "what do you need?"

"Beckett's leaving for Earth,"

He frowned and stood up "why?"

"Apparently they've got problems at the SGC – seems they housing a lot of refugees at the moment. Doctor Lam's struggling to keep up with the injuries so General Landry's called him back seeing as there's not much going on here."

Mckay nodded and then realized that Sheppard had no way of knowing he'd responded "I'm on my way,"

* * *

Sheppard's eyebrows rose as he saw Mckay walk into the lab sporting the bright orange HAZMAT, he didn't say anything although he looked as if he wanted too. 

"Thank you very much Colonel," Zelenka said, after a mumbling to himself in his native tongue and observing the now switched on device in front of him.

"No problem," Sheppard shot him a winning smile "how's it going down there?"

Mckay thought about how to answer the question carefully but succeeded in failing as much with that as he had with determining the creators of the nano virus "it's not,"

Sheppard nodded "apparently Colonel Carter's got problems with something she's working on," there was no way that wasn't said just to wind him up, however it would seem that the scientist took the bait without even contemplating why it was being given.

"Oh?" he asked, trying not to sound too interested, or too smug… okay he didn't try to hard on the latter.

"Yeah… some cool shield device thing," he said absently, attention drawn back to the device he had helped the Czech activate minutes ago "she's trying to make it go around the whole planet,"

"Arthur's Mantle," he remembered the device from months ago when he had been asked to offer his expertise through video feed and the business call had suddenly turned into a baby naming session.

"That's it!"

"Well it's not really surprising considering her refusal to accept any of my suggestions, but I suppose if she needs help I better go and fix it." He tried to sound put upon and not anywhere near as eager as he felt to return to Earth and Sam because that would make him seem entirely transparent, besides, it wasn't his fault she was unbelievably hot.

On the practical side of things; saving Earth was imminently more interesting, not to mention rewarding, than trying to figure out who had wanted to wipe out all humans so much they had incubated a nano virus for ten thousand years. A decidedly morbid task that he could not summon very much enthusiasm for.

Zelenka watched as the Head of Sciences walked out of the lab to inform Elizabeth that he too, would be returning to Earth "he was not invited?"

"Nope," Sheppard replied.

"Hmph," Zelenka said, frowning a little before returning to his work.

* * *

Nick swallowed and ran a hand over his face, he felt hot and cold at the same time… uncomfortable was probably an appropriate adjective. His lips felt dry and he licked them reflexively; there was no reason for him to be so worked up over this, it wasn't something huge it was just… whom was he kidding? Of course it was huge. At least for him anyway, in his head, say it out loud and it sounded stupid. 

"Can I help you?" Landry asked and Nick was jarred out of his thoughts as he realized he was standing by the General's office door which by the looks of it, had opened causing the man to stop in his tracks.

"I uh…" he cleared his throat professionally "I would like to ask a favor of you,"

Landry sighed and turned back into the room, leaving the door open and gesturing absently for Nick to follow "fire away." He said, standing behind his desk with a tense smile, Jacek's news had been far from brilliant but did a stranger ever walk up to you and say 'hey, congratulations! You just one the lottery!'? Nope. Strangers were the bearers of bad news, sadly enough.

"Would it possible," he started "for you to track some one down?"

Landry frowned slightly "possibly. I can contact the FBI and get them to search their database,"

Nick nodded and produced a photograph, black and white, the edges worn and yellowing with age and harsh white lines where the image had erased completely due to the paper being constantly folded and unfolded over the years. "She'll look a little different now," he chuckled wryly to himself as he handed the picture of a woman who was unmistakably both blonde and beautiful over to the General.

Landry took it dubiously "her name?"

Taking a deep breath Nick said, "Her maiden name was Castillo, Moira Castillo,"

* * *

1947. The war had been over two years and President Truman was in office. Communism was a real and terrifying threat hanging over most of the Western World. The conferences at Yalta and Potsdam had done nothing to parry the blows each leader had been determined to deliver and Stalin had proceeded to erect his 'Iron Curtain' as so named by British Prime Minister Winston Churchill in 1946. 

Marshall Aid – a by product of the Truman Doctrine and it's namesake the US Secretary of State – was well underway, these publications Truman's desperate attempts at trying to 'save' the European countries occupied by the Red Army.

The wedding had been in late October. He'd been twenty-five, and she only nineteen, the dress was white and the flowers had been a fine pastel pink that had only served to make her brilliant blue eyes shine all the brighter. Golden hair almost long enough to reach her waist had been curled and other than a simple tiara that had belonged to her great grandmother which pinned back her fringe, she wore nothing on her head. She had not wanted to wear a veil, much to her mother's disdain, claiming that she had not wanted to spend her wedding day hiding behind a piece of fabric that served only to make her vision blurry and tickle her face.

They'd stood outside for the photos, underneath a huge oak tree in his parent's backyard that had been decorated with ribbons despite the threat of wind and rain. The following party was held in the conservatory when the threat became a promise and the heaven's opened at mid afternoon – mere seconds after the photo shoot had finished.

They'd spent their honeymoon in her uncle's empty condo in Florida. It had rained the whole time.

"Can I help you?" a woman at the front desk asked him politely, she looked to be in her mid thirties, she yawned "I'm sorry," she said, blushing when he smiled at her "I've got a six month old baby at home – he's not letting me get much sleep,"

"I have a gra – niece around that age,"

She smiled "I'm Lauren,"

"Nick," he answered, the reception smelled like lemons,

She smiled at him "who're you here to see?"

"Ah," he paused, "Moira,"

She gave him a pointed look "does she have a last name sir?"

He mentally kicked himself "of course… maiden name Castillo, married name Ballard?"

Lauren tapped away at her computer for a moment "Moira Ballard… yes she's here. Room 14B,"

Nick nodded and headed for the stairs.

The door to room 14B was ajar and he knocked before pushing it open, the hinges squeaked in protest.

"Hello?"

Nick looked up at the woman commanding his attention, her badge said she was staff and that her name was Judy "hello, I'm here to see Moira,"

Judy's skin was the color of chocolate and her hair was plaited into millions of tiny braids that bobbed about her head as she moved over to the fragile looking woman in the rocking chair by the window.

"Moira," she whispered, her voice soft "there's someone here to see you,"

Nick didn't hear Moira's reply but Judy straightened with an encouraging smile, touching his arm as she passed "today's not a good day," she said sadly, closing the door behind her.

"Moira?" He asked tentatively.

Her silver hair caught the light and sparkled as she turned her head "who's there?"

Nick felt a pang in his chest as he watched eyes once the most enchanting blue, now covered in a hazy white film darted from left to right, trying in vain to focus on something they would never see. Moira, his beautiful Moira. "It's me," he heard himself reply.

One perfectly sculpted eyebrow rose "hello me," she greeted sarcastically, settling back in her seat, staring out the window. Nick could see her reflection in the glass.

"Sorry," he apologized "Nick," he said, stumbling over his words he continued "Ballard, Nicholas Ballard,"

She turned in her seat to stare at him, even though they both knew it was pointless "Nick?" She whispered, the sarcasm had dissipated and all that was left was a whisper of a voice that would have sounded to all the world like the hoarse and scratchy tones of a blind old woman but to him? To him it was the most amazing sound he had ever heard, "you came home," she smiled, eyes filling with tears "Claire and I have been waiting for hours,"

He frowned, Claire? Home?

"She's drawn the most wonderful picture for you;" Moira continued "she spent nearly all day on it,"

"Moira…" he said, the words stuck in his throat, his breaths coming quick and sharp as if something was tugging at his lungs "Moira…"

"Yes?"

"Claire… she's… well…" how was he supposed to tell her Claire was dead? Had been for more than thirty years.

"Claire's what darling?"

"She's dead Moira," his heart fell as rapidly as her expression did. A gross mixture of horror and realization hitting her harder than a speeding truck "she has been for a long time,"

"What? No of course she's not," Moira sniffed haughtily "I don't know what silly notion has gotten into your head but…" she changed, the natural glow she had, had for as long as Nick had known her faded and the expression her eyes still held transformed into haunted chasms.

"Moira?" Nick prompted, he hadn't moved, wasn't sure he could, of all the things he had expected, of all the things he could have predicted having to say or to do this was not one of them.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Nick," he felt a nauseous sense of déjà vu as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

Moira nodded curtly "took you long enough,"

Nick raised his eyebrows but then realized she couldn't see him "I know,"

"Work again I suppose?" she snorted "of course it was. Work, work, work. That's all you ever think about Nick,"

"It was," he said nostalgically "a long time ago," time to bite the bullet "I still love you," he offered.

"That's a lie Nicholas Ballard," she said softly "you don't love me. You haven't in a long time. Maybe once, a long time ago but not now."

Nick nodded, a guilty smile playing on his lips "I'm sorry,"

"Now that," she smiled "I can believe,"

There was silence for a long time.

"Social Services called," she had changed again "you didn't take him,"

Claire had been the one to tell him that Moira was ill. He had been too busy with a dig to be concerned, dutifully sending his daughter off with the message of 'get well soon' before returning to his work. He had not paid attention even when Claire had called every other day, heartbroken with the news that her mother 'might not make it'. But she had. Moira had pulled through what ever it was that had ailed her – he couldn't even remember what it was that had been wrong with his ex-wife – by a miracle chance.

"They asked me," she laughed "as if I could care for Danny in my condition." She gestured to herself off handedly "they told me what you'd said," her volume was low and the tone measured making him feel like a school boy again, standing in his father's study as he was lectured for yet again back chatting his teachers.

"Moira-"

"Don't you dare!" she exclaimed "you weren't there for Claire's wedding; you met Melburn four times, _four_ times. The nicest thing you could say at the funeral was that you were sorry they were dead and…" she panted for breath and Nick almost called Judy back but she managed to calm herself "he's the only thing left of Claire, the only thing left of my baby girl. He's your grandson Nicholas! You're supposed to love him!"

He swallowed. She was stuck, in a moment long since passed, mourned and forgotten, buried so deep it was unlikely anyone would ever get Daniel to talk about it again, that is, he thought sadly, almost guiltily, if Daniel ever got the chance. He wanted to correct her, to tell her was sorry, that he knew he was wrong but what was the point? He already knew it, already wished a thousand things undone but they weren't.

Moira was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he'd thrown it away, as he had discarded Claire and Melburn, even Daniel himself. Everyone that mattered he pushed away. There was probably a psychological factor in there that accounted for his behavior but some psychiatrist with a comfy couch and a soothing voice wasn't going to tell him anything that mattered. They weren't going to fix everything.

"Who's going to look after him now hmm?" she challenged, shaking a crooked finger at her ex-husband furiously "the foster system? The orphanage? They have dozens of other little boys and girls to look after, Danny needs more than that,"

"Moira…" he began gently "Daniel's…"

She looked at him "Danny's what?" she asked, "are you going to tell me he's dead too?" her face fell and she added quietly; "who's Danny?"

He swallowed, his mouth felt dry "Danny's your grandson – Claire's little boy,"

Moira cocked her head to one side and once more there was quiet "I know that," she said as if Nick had called her stupid "I know who Danny is… Claire sent me a letter last week," she fumbled in the pockets of her cardigan "he's started walking," she produced a crinkled up piece of paper and smoothed it out meticulously, holding it out to him.

He took the paper and turned it the right way up, "Moira this…" he swallowed again, "this is a flyer advertising the Nativity," it was dated 1987. He'd been in Oregon at that point, pouring his heart out, then hiding it away, diagnosed crazy and locked up.

She snatched it back possessively "well if you don't want to read it," she folded it back up again and put it in her pocket "you're a dirty liar Nicholas. It's a bad habit,"

"What year is it?" he asked, ignoring the comment.

"It's…" she looked stricken, the thin line of her lips relaxing, her eyes filling with tears again and her gnarled hands trembling her lap "I don't remember," she looked around wildly "I don't… Nick!" she cried out "I don't… what's going on? Where am I? I don't remember!"

He dropped to his knees in front of her, his hands curling around hers as he tried to calm her. She smelled like peppermint and antiseptic.

"Nick?" she whispered breathlessly, one hand twisting free of his and landing on his shoulder, ghosting up his neck and across his face, dancing through his hair and feel just as soft as he remembered "it's you," she smiled, tears creating new tracks down her cheeks "it's really you,"

"Yeah," he answered thickly as she pulled him into an embrace, "it's me,"

* * *

The klaxons sounded and for the first time in days Landry was glad to hear them, all the same he asked Walter who it was. 

"Its Atlantis sir," Walter answered staring at the computer monitor.

"Open the iris," he ordered, heading straight for the stairs to the 'gate room.

He walked through the blast doors as the iris slid open and Doctors Beckett and Mckay materialized on the 'gate ramp.

"Welcome back to Earth gentlemen," Landry said, walking to the end of the ramp "I only wish it were under better circumstances,"

_Author's Notes: I'm not getting email alerts at the moment even though my sister is... odd really... worse still? Back to school tomorrow:(_

_Next Chapter: With the return of Sam, Vala and Cam so comes a whole tide of other issues the SGC Personnel has to face. Nick's visit with Moira continues. _


	55. Step & Falter

_Disclaimer: Some speech in this chapter is either directly from, or altered versions of the dialogue which featured in 'Family Ties' and sadly, isn't mine._

Chapter 55: Step & Falter

"So where's Vala now then?" Landry asked Sam as they exited the elevator.

"She's with Teal'c," she replied, glancing only briefly at Mitchell who was a step behind them, his hair a complete disarray caused by the Antarctic winds she had neglected to tell him about and equally, he had failed to fix.

"Probably as well," Landry muttered more to himself than to anybody else.

"Sir?" Sam asked, bemused.

"Did we miss something?" Cam asked, jumping to catch up with them.

He chuckled wryly "her father has shown up,"

"What?" Cam snapped.

"Her dad…? But…"

"It would seem he was staying as a guest amongst one of the refugee groups, he's claiming that Arkad has a plot to attack Earth,"

"But Arkad is dead," Sam pointed out.

"It would appear that his… legacy lives on,"

"Well that's just dandy," Cam said sarcastically "is he telling the truth?"

Landry shrugged, paused and then "that's not all,"

Carter and Mitchell shared a look.

* * *

Of all the… Mckay. Rodney Mckay was here, in the SGC. Again. 

And it wasn't even as if he was just 'passing through' on the way to see his sister, or whatever it was he did when he got leave for Earth. No. He was here to 'help'. She'd had a choice when Landry had told her; she could have laughed incredulously at how stupid that sounded – since when had Mckay been able to 'help'? He either took charge or griped and shouted until that happened if it was not an immediate occurrence – or she could have cried in frustration. She had settled for a tense smile and a 'of course sir, thank you' before departing.

"Colonel!"

She bit back a sigh as she entered her lab only to be greeted by the smug face of the man she was dreading to see, forcing herself to smile tensely she answered "Mckay," slowly.

"So uh…" he spoke slowly, as if he wanted nothing more than to jump right into the task at hand but he knew that it would neither be appreciated nor received very well. And for all his bustle and arrogance the one thing he never succeeded in doing but at the same time never failed in trying; was impressing her. Three years in another galaxy had obviously made him realise a few things. "I heard about Doctor Jackson,"

"He's fine," she said almost automatically.

Vala had been quiet on the trip back, sat in the rear of the Alkesh as Sam and Mitchell piloted it back to Area 52 and even once they were in the government provided vehicle taking them to the SGC she hadn't said anything. It wasn't as if she were despairing, locking herself into a self contained prison and refusing to come out more… it was as if the incident in Antarctica had been nothing more than catharsis and once it was over she was prepared to take on the world again. The silence had made Cameron uneasy, he had tried a few times to spike a conversation but each attempt had been futile. For her it had been an opportunity to think.

Tueor sua. It was Latin that much she knew and it hadn't taken much research to find out what it had meant. Daniel had asked Mitchell too look after Vala, to protect her. At first she had thought he was a peculiar choice for him to make for whilst both Daniel and Cameron had the whole 'Jackson' 'Mitchell' jock-type-thing going on neither of them were particularly close.

They were friends of course but Cameron would forever be the 'new kid' to follow through on the high school theme. There but not quite. SG1 had eight years of memories together to draw back on, eight years was a long time. And despite the façade there was times when she knew that he felt a little sidelined when it came to 'remember that time on…' 'oh! When we…' the moments were infrequent and scarce. As much as Cam could say he had read the mission reports it would never quite be the same because you never actually included the _'and then I got rip-roaring drunk on the local brew, took off most of my clothes and danced on the bar until I passed out.' _

If it was relevant it was veiled over, placed amongst the numbers and equations that the commanding officers of the world could never hope to fully comprehend and if it wasn't then it was never mentioned. Hammond had known that some of the events on missions were never disclosed, secrets amongst friends, protected by the ties of family and he had never questioned it, and never would, at least not unless it was a matter of National Security.

She almost smiled as it occurred to her; Daniel had chosen Cameron not because he was a close friend but because he _wasn't._ He took each shot as it came, either lying down until there was a pause in the fire or shooting right back. He didn't expect a great deal from people and in turn, people didn't expect a great deal from him. Everyone else was treating Vala like she was about to shatter, Cameron treated her like he would normally, as if nothing was wrong and if anyone else had tried that they could have easily been accused of being tactless but not him. Somehow he managed to get away with it.

Just because something _was_ wrong didn't mean that he had to act like it, and it wasn't as if they guy was pretending like everything was fine, he just neglected to mention it. He didn't bother with the questions that even she felt stupid asking of 'are you okay?' and 'how are you holding up?' because all they served as was an invitation to lie and stubborn and painful reminder that Vala so blatantly didn't need.

Mckay cleared his throat, obviously having had enough of waiting "I've looked over your notes," he announced.

She raised her eyebrows, dreading the answer but asking the question anyway "and?"

"These equations?" he gestured "are wrong. The power supply you're using is painfully small; you can't possibly hope to envelop the entire planet with it." He paused, and she wasn't under any illusion that it was because he didn't know how to continue "It's like using a car battery instead of a naquada generator…" he trailed off, muttering to himself – or at least that's what she hoped because she stopped listening at that point.

Sam bit her tongue to stop herself snapping at him; how could she have forgotten to ask Landry how long they would be being graced with the arrogant physicist's presence?

* * *

"Where's Lexy?" Jack asked casually as he slid into the commissary seat in front of Vala as she stirred a cup of cold coffee methodically. 

"Teal'c," she answered softly, her expression unreadable.

Jack nodded, opening his mouth to say something but he cut himself off as his gaze strayed to where Vala's had landed.

"Vala!"

Her eyes narrowed as the man whom she had been staring at sauntered over in a way that was both casual and purposeful at the same time.

"Jacek," she said smoothly, sipping her coffee more for the fact she wanted an excuse not to speak rather than actually wanting to taste the foul tasting liquid.

"Oh come on," he grinned lavishly "don't you have anything you want to tell your dear ol' dad?"

"I can think of a few select phrases I'm sure you probably haven't heard before," she replied coldly.

Seemingly ignoring her comment he exclaimed joyously "so sweetheart," he slipped into the seat next to Jack, causing the retired man to look at him strangely "how is life treating you?"

Plastering a sickly smile on her face she put her mug down and leaned forwards on to the table "certainly better than you ever did,"

Jacek looked wounded "ouch," he chuckled, leaning back in his chair "I suppose for the benefit of your friend here," he gave Jack a small gesture that left him lucky to still have his fingers intact afterwards "you're gonna want to list all the reasons why I was such a bad father,"

"Oh I wish a could," she said sarcastically "but my break is only half an hour long," she gave Jack a pointed look when he went to argue "and that's hardly enough time to cover your inadequacies as both a parent _and _a human being in general," she got to her feet and gave Jack a curt nod and a small, proffessional smile before walking away.

* * *

Moira felt so light in his embrace it was disconcerting, she had never been a particularly heavy woman, in her youth she had been dainty and graceful but at the same time capable of sending some of the most self assured men running with just a glance. But now instead of gentle ower resting in his arms he felt fatigue, her heartbeat was faint, a light patter against her chest that he could only just feel against his own. 

She pulled back after a moment, seemingly confused, her eyes widening and her mouth shaping into a shocked 'o' "I… who…"

"It's me," he spoke earnestly "it's Nick," he clasped her hands in his; they felt cold and clammy; he hated it "stay with me Moira, just for a few minutes," pleading desperately for a moment, a minute, a _second_ with his ex-wife, where he could look at her and know that he was addressing Moira not some imposter that had stolen her body.

"Nick?" she said dreamily, brow furrowing and then un-creasing when the name triggered something in her mind "Nick!" she smiled to herself "dear Nicholas," she cupped the side of his face and he found himself leaning into the touch.

"Yes," he breathed, as if he thought that anything above a whisper would send her spiralling back into the depths of her warped and twisted memories "yes,"

"It's been so long," she whispered "dancing," she murmurred, swaying to an imaginary song that seemed to echo across the decades and fill her tiny room with the dulcet tones of an artist whose name was long forgotten.

Dancing, the night they had met they had danced until the early hours of the morning, names had been only an afterthought and the steady thrum of the music as intoxicating as each other had been.

"So many colours," she said, eyes drifting close "red and green and purple… blue!" her eyes snapped open "he wore blue!"

"Who?"

She smiled, almost singing to herself "all grown up now, big and strong,"

From strong and adamant that she was right and he was wrong to the dazed ramblings of a woman who no longer made sense to anyone who listened; the words came out but they didn't mean anything.

She hummed to herself.

"Who wore blue?" Nick pressed as if it genuinely mattered.

"He did of course," Moira said sharply "and before you ask; he told me," she gestured off handedly at her eyes but her frustration was evident.

"Who Moira?"

"For someone with so much book learnin'," her accent went from the rich tones of northern America to the warm brogue of the south "you're not all that bright,"

Nick blinked owlishly, bemused. Moira had always been sharp; mind like a whip. The pun was sickening. She wasn't any more, not quick or brilliant just fading and yet through it all she had kept her dignity, she was still proud. She was still Moira.

"Help me up,"

He jumped when he saw that Moira was trying to push herself to her feet, trembling with the effort it took.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked, taking her arm, careful to make sure he was not forcing her into doing anything she did not want to do. There was a time when that would have been hard, now all it would take was the tiniest tug and she would be his, powerless to stop him.

She looked momentarily stumped by the question, then her expression became fearful as she struggled to remember what was going on and who it was she was leaning on before it faded into one he remembered from a lifetime ago "dance with me?"

* * *

Carolyn didn't look away from her computer when she heard a knock on her office door, absently calling for whoever it was to come in as she tapped away on her keyboard and examined the test results of one of the latest refugee's blood work at the same time. "Can you make it quick?" she said, "I've got…" she turned around "Colonel Mitchell," she smiled in surprise. 

"I can come back later," he said slowly.

She shook her head "no of course… what can I do for you?"

"I…" he looked around "Doctor Beckett in the infirmary?"

She frowned "yes," she answered carefully "is everything all right?"

He back pedalled, "yes, yeah of course um… you know what? Maybe now isn't the right time…" he turned for the door but she got to her feet and caught his wrist.

"Colonel?" she prompted "what is it?"

He blinked at her "I was wondering…" God, this was ridiculous! So he had never exactly been 'Mr. Smooth' and he _did_ have some rather painful memories of high school, which generally involved him making a complete ass of himself in front of half the student body but this? This was just plain stupid "would you like to go for coffee some time?"

_Author's Notes: Was that entirely unexpected? I did try and make it gradual but I dunno if it worked…_

_Next Chapter: As Carolyn contemplates Cameron's question, Sam and Mckay try valiantly to come up for a new power source for Arthur's Mantle and Nick comes to terms with Moira._


	56. Heartfelt Irony

_Author's Notes: __The 'Next Chapter' for last chapter has been altered because half of what was supposed to happen doesn't happen until next chapter so yeah… apologies._

Chapter 56: Heartfelt Irony

Crying serves no real purpose; an external expression of inner turmoil or upset that leads you to subconsciously decide you need help or attention in order to deal with it. He supposed that, that was a reasonable explanation as to why he wasn't crying now. When his daughter had died he had been so busy that her passing had been nothing more than a bump in the road; the funeral a duty he could not get out of and the wake to be avoided.

Moira had died three hours ago and he hadn't shed a single tear, not because he didn't care but because he no longer felt tied to her; he loved her yes, always would, despite what she had thought but maybe not in the way he should have.

Many years ago she had been everything he could have ever possibly dreamed of but life goes on, the heart adapts and different things become more of a priority than they once had. His work had taken control of his life shorting after they had settled down together; Moira had become second best. A part of him had long since accepted that his wife had moved on. And so had he.

Love changes just like everything else. It's wrong to assume that anything could ever remain truly still in a world that never stops. Nothing is frozen, nothing can simply halt, disappear from existence without a trace. Survival is to adapt and, despite the odds, everything wants to survive.

In the end Moira had been too weak to do much for herself, but her dignity prevented her from giving up, surrendering to the cold embrace of her illness, instead it forced her to plunder on; robbed of her sight and in part, her sanity.

He should have realised long before he had that she wasn't moving anymore, the pitiful heaves of her chest as her lungs tried to suck in air that they now struggled to process had faded to nothing and her dainty feet were not supporting her weight as they once had. He couldn't pinpoint the moment when he had taken over that job for them.

His throat had dried and his breathing had quickened but that had been all as he lifted her onto the bed, gently resting her head against the pillows, folding her hands over her stomach and brushing his fingers down her still-warm cheek. It had been peaceful, slipping into a slumber she would never be forced to awaken from but he didn't feel despair and he probably should have. By social standards when one's wife dies it hurts, but for him the pain never came; Moira had been lost for so long that death had been a blessing for her.

The daughter she missed so badly and the family she had departed from too long ago would be waiting for her wherever it was she went next.

Nick didn't believe in heaven and hell. The afterlife was an urban myth that should be left up to the deceased to determine the existence of. Scientific exploration into the actuality of it was wrong and invasive. Death was peaceful, it deserved the respect of those still living and therefore it should be left alone, without intrusion and speculative interpretation.

Moira was gone.

And he was fine with that.

* * *

Landry sighed. Jacek was neither the most or least desirable character he had ever encountered but he was fast becoming the biggest annoyance. 

He'd known from the start that the man was not to be trusted but it was hard to be constantly no guard, in battle or war it was different because being shot at or stabbed, having a bomb or grenade dropped on you were acceptable but the enemy didn't very often try to coerce you into buying shares of a company that didn't exist.

Vala at one point had, had much more in common with her father than she would want to believe. Although Jacek seemed to try and scam everyone he met, Vala hadn't ever been so… sleazy and trusting her had been easier when it came to it. Jacek was just slippery. He reminded Landry of a particularly unwanted commercial agent with a bad sales pitch.

God only help the general population, he thought, reading the fax in front of him, Jacek's about to be let loose on Colorado Springs.

* * *

The lab was quiet save for the rhythmic tapping of computer keys as Mckay typed on his laptop and she did the same on hers in order to attempt to determine a power source that would allow the device to encompass the entire planet without short circuiting in the process. 

There was a pause and Sam looked up, raising her eyebrows when she saw that Mckay was no longer working.

"What?"

"Nothing… uh…" He looked vaguely uncomfortable for a moment "I'm seeing some one… sort of," he took a breath "more of an on-off kind of thing,"

"That's uh… nice," she frowned, unsure as to what had brought on this sudden decision to share personal information.

He nodded "Katie Brown – she's a botanist,"

Sam nodded again, still wary.

"You?"

She stilled, Jack was a sore subject in her mind and part of her felt guilty for yelling at him when she and Cam had gone to Antarctica to get Vala but for the most part the only feeling he evoked was contempt, and she wasn't even sure why.

Confused probably effectively summed up her current state of affairs. The rules, regulations and behaviour patterns of the military were still strong in her mind and Jack had always been her Achilles heel in that respect. Wanting what she had thought she could never have… was it possible that all it had ever been was lust, a safety net because after so long working together Jack _was_ safe.

Its human nature to want what you don't, or can't have, what if that was all Jack had ever been?

Mckay cleared his throat, seemingly perturbed by her silence, looking back at his computer with the determined interest of a man who wasn't really paying the slightest bit of attention to it.

"Jack," she replied after a moment, she didn't elaborate.

"General O'Neill?" he looked up again, a spark of jealousy in his eyes that she resisted the urge to roll her eyes at.

"Yeah,"

"That's… how long?" his words were measured, as if he wasn't sure whether he wanted to be having the conversation at all but hey, he started it.

She thought about it "about ten months,"

He nodded, silence falling again. Sam waited a moment before returning to her work.

* * *

She hadn't declined him. 

But she hadn't said yes either.

Office relationships were doomed from the beginning, they rarely – if ever worked – jobs were more often than not lost either in attempts to salvage the relationship or to escape the aftermath of the failure. Doctor-patient relationships were prohibited for those reasons and more – the patient is seen as being vulnerable and so the doctor to be forcing them into something they do not want to do. Her… relationship with Cam was a little bit of both.

They worked together and she was his physician, over the time they had been working together she would have liked to believe that they were friends but… _it's only coffee!_ But coffee leads to lunch, lunch leads to dinner, dinner becomes an evening out, evenings out to staying the night, staying the night to sex and – woah, now that was moving a little fast wasn't it? Cam was nice, she liked him, and in any other situation she probably would have said yes immediately but propriety held her back.

It was only coffee though, nothing serious; it wasn't like he'd proposed or anything ridiculous like that. Simple and easy.

Or at least it should be.

"Are ye all right love?" Beckett touched her elbow gently and she was jerked back to the present, nodding until he seemed placated, smiled back and went off to assess the test results Nurse Bringham brought over.

Cam had seemed disappointed when she said she'd have to think about it but he'd smiled and said that it was okay. She should have given him a definite answer but saying yes meant taking a leap she wasn't sure she wanted to and saying no slammed the doors shut on an opportunity that may never again represent itself. Carolyn sighed; it'd been easier when the only men that hit on her were drunken marines and enamoured checkout boys.

* * *

Vala knocked on the door to Sam's lab, peering in as she adjusted her hold on Lexy who was valiantly trying to untie the band currently holding one of her mother's pigtails in place. 

"Vala," Sam greeted with a smile, "everything okay?"

Vala nodded, noticing Mckay she seemed to backtrack something in her head "oh,"

"What?"

"It doesn't matter, I'll see if Cameron's free…"

Sam frowned, "what do you need?"

"I was wondering if you could look after Lexy for a little while I just need to…" she trailed off, she had no idea what she wanted but what she did know was that with Lexy around it was impossible, "but-"

"She can stay in here if you want, I'm not going anywhere," Sam offered, pointedly ignoring Mckay when she saw he had opened his mouth to object.

"Thank you," Vala said as Sam moved over to take Lexy from her.

"How long do you want me to have her?" she asked, as Vala handed her the diaper bag.

Vala blinked, how long? "Uh… a couple of hours…"

Sam raised an eyebrow "are you sure you're okay?"

Vala nodded firmly "I'm fine," she said, waving at Mckay and smiling at Lexy before leaving the room.

Sam blinked as she watched the other woman leave. Vala wasn't right – a given of course – but it was just. First of all she'd been quiet and accepting, small smiles and 'I'm fines' that shut everyone up because the last thing she wanted to do was talk to distressed and desperate and now, like flicking a switch, she was… okay; as in really okay. That didn't work, it _couldn't_ work.

And the sad thing was she really didn't have time to go chasing up on her. To find out exactly what was going on; it was a miracle Adria hadn't found the San Graal already and it was quite literally an anytime-anywhere kind of thing, there was no telling when Adria would figure it out and take the device for herself.

The Ori were an ever growing threat, as proved by the refuges flooding through the 'gate and it _really_ didn't help that the likes of Woolsey and Pentagon representatives were breathing down their necks to come up with an effective defence against whatever the Ori had to throw at them. It would seem that the old 'we're pouring x amount of money into you a year and you're not coming up with anything of any value; give us a reason not to shut you down and we won't cut your funding' was as effective as ever in their attempts to try and… well what exactly were they hoping to achieve by it?

"Colonel," Mckay cleared his throat, an odd expression on his face that would have been amusing had it not been for the fact that there was a perfectly good reason for it that she was now all too aware of.

"Oh," she breathed, trying not to inhale through her nose; that was… she gave Mckay a hopeful look "Mckay… this is Lexy,"

"I don't care what's it's name is." he snapped a little too harshly, then realising what Sam's expression meant, he got up and stepped back "no, no way, I don't-"

She almost laughed but Jack's appearance in the doorway had her cutting herself off.

"Sam?"

"Yes?" she replied coldly, she did _not _need to do this right now, another… no never. She didn't want to deal with it ever, call it cowardice, call it pathetic but the last thing she wanted to do was try and figure out what was going on with Jack; she couldn't even figure out what was going on in her own head, never mind somebody else's.

"Can I have a word?"

She wanted to say no. She almost did, "I uh… yeah," she sighed, defeatedly "sure,"

Jack smiled at her, saw Mckay and nodded curtly at him, rocking back on his heels as he waited for Sam.

"Uh…" her gaze landed on Mckay, and she had to fight not to grin, "Mckay?"

"Yes?" he said, the silence that followed filled him in with the rest of the unspoken request "I don't do kids, I really… I don't, I-"

"I won't be long," she said, handing Lexy to him and ensuring the bag Vala had given her was secure on his shoulder before moving towards the door.

"Colonel!" he called after her as she left the lab, Jack on her heels and both of them disappeared around the corner "Colonel Carter!"

_Author's Notes: And so ends Chapter 56… :)_

_Next Chapter: The Asguard and the Ori come to heads, Carolyn makes her decision re. Cam. Sam sorts out her 'Jack problem'… as for Mckay and Lexy? You'll just have to wait and see…_


	57. Heads or Tails?

_Author's Notes: You know what? Just don't ask. Really, just don't… :P_

_Last chapter's 'next chapter' has been changed because this chapter was getting far too long, I'm just gonna have to split the original plan for this chapter into two; sorry :P_

Chapter 57: Heads or Tails?

The momentary spark of pleasure at having left Mckay with Lexy dissipated shortly after leaving the lab. It wasn't that she didn't think that Mckay was a suitable babysitter but more that with every step she took the more tense she felt. And with the tension brought the burning desire to do something about it and the only thing that had ever helped really had been exertion and so she sped up.

"Sam," Jack tried, skipping a step to keep up with her as she headed for the elevator.

She had no idea where she was going she just knew that the second she opened her mouth to speak to Jack she was likely to start saying things that would lead to an out and out argument and she really didn't want Mckay eavesdropping on that kind of conversation. However there was always the distinct possibility that half the mountain would have heard by the time – she at the very least – had finished.

"Sam!" he called, practically throwing himself through the elevator doors as they threatened to close on him and she jabbed the button for whom-knew what level.

Sam was silent.

"What the hell is going on?" he finally snapped.

The buzz on the lift an eerie background noise that only served to grate even further on her nerves.

"There's nothing going on," she answered reflexively, irked by the accusing note she heard in his voice.

"Bullshit," he whispered, whether for his own purposes or hers she didn't know.

"Oh yes," she quipped "because you'd know all about it if something was wouldn't you?"

"Obviously I do," he answered coolly "else I wouldn't be asking about it,"

"God," she hissed "you can be so-"

"So what?" he challenged.

She slammed her head back against the wall, frustrated. He was asking the questions she, herself, didn't know the answer to and worst of all he was expecting her to answer.

"Go on Sam," he jibed "so what?"

"Forget it Jack," she stormed out of the elevator.

The corridor was empty; she wasn't sure whether to be happy or annoyed by the fact. She wasn't sure about a lot of things these days.

"Sam!" he followed "just answer the damn question!"

She stopped; fists clenched at her sides, her fingernails digging into her palms and her eyes closed as she took several deep breaths.

"What's going on with you?" the question could have been vicious or gentle but the way Jack said it, it sounded like both at the same time.

"God, you're worse than Mckay," she whirled round "so quick to assume that someone else is to blame,"

His narrowed, and in a flash she recalled all the times she had seen him that angry before, it sent an involuntary shiver up her spine.

It was almost comical really, standing there, in the middle of the corridor, staring at each other like two cowboys in an old western movie. The only thing missing was tumbleweed.

After a moment he seemed to calm down "look Sam…" he began, almost apologetically but not quite.

"Just forget it," she breathed, turning away.

"I'm just…" okay, he didn't do the feelings bit but maybe now was a good time to start "concerned that's all,"

A part of her melted and wanted nothing more than to run up to him like the girl always did in those stupid films. Instead she blinked harshly and took another heavy breath.

"Please Sam,"

Was it stupid to say she wanted to cry?

He stepped cautiously forwards, until he was only about a foot from her, reaching for her shoulder and hurt when she immediately stepped away from him, putting a considerable amount more space between them.

"I need space," she announced suddenly, time to bite the proverbial bullet, it wasn't working and it was stupid to pretend that it was.

It took a moment for it to dawn on him "Sam…" what else was he supposed to say? Please stay? We can work this out? What the hell was 'this'? He sure as hell didn't know, but it had been odd for a while now. She'd been pulling away and for the first few days he'd dismissed it as 'that time of the month' because Sara had been unbearable sometimes but now it had been too long for that to be an excuse anymore.

"Why?" he settled for.

"It isn't working;" she said "_we_ don't work,"

"Yes we do," he argued softly.

She laughed dryly "when was the last time we had sex? Or had dinner together?"

He opened his mouth to reply, and was ashamed to say he couldn't remember.

"The rules were there for a reason Jack," she breathed "just because you're retired doesn't make breaking them any easier,"

"So you're walking away because of some stupid _rule_?"

She didn't bother to dignify him with an answer, just met his eyes for a moment before going to walk away entirely.

"Sam," he said, following her, skipping several steps to catch up "you can't tell me that you don't want this. I've known you too long to be able to accept that. You're not the kind of person that just walks away,"

She stopped yet again and turned, her back almost against the wall opposing the elevator now "Jack… the regulations…" what about them? They didn't apply, not anymore; they were just at thinly veiled excuse for running away. Maybe she just wasn't the committed type.

"I don't _care _what the goddamn _regulations _say Sam, I want to know what _you _feel." He had known this would be hard, years of being trained by the Airforce; of having what they wanted being just out of reach and suddenly it was possible; suddenly they could have everything they wanted and more, "not about the regulations but about me. How you feel about _me_?"

Sam blinked sharply, refusing to look directly at him "I don't," she said quietly, going to step past him.

One arm flew out and his palm slammed into the wall, blocking her exit and she stared at him, her jaw set and her eyes narrowed.

"Look me in the eyes and say that, look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me," he challenged her, leaning in close, her perfume was so light it was only discernible when he got this close.

She blinked and her face relaxed "I don't love you Jack," she replied simply, the shock of what she'd said hit him and his arm fell to his side allowing her to brush passed him with a definitive grace that backed up her statement with disturbing clarity.

* * *

Mckay held Lexy at arms length, surveying her through narrow and disapproving eyes as she kicked her chubby little legs and laughed and gurgled happily. He'd been called back to Earth to help save the planet, not to become a babysitter; a job he had contemplated briefly in high school and dismissed instantly because no matter how much his parents argued, looking after somebody else's kids was subsequently less appealing. 

Taking a frustrated breath and then regretting it he was forced to accept the fact that his next duty did not fall into the category of saving the world but into saving his nose from spontaneous combustion; how could one baby smell so bad?

"There's this new invention you know," he said conversationally as he sat Lexy on his vacated chair so he could retrieve the changing mat from the bag on his shoulder "it's called a toilet – people might like you more if you learnt to use one,"

He'd built an A-Bomb for his sixth grade science fair so he could most definitely change a diaper… right? It wasn't exactly rocket science; which wasn't all that hard actually so maybe it wasn't the best comparison… but it still wasn't difficult. A lot of people could do it and _they_ weren't geniuses.

"Woah," he hissed, stepping back involuntarily and glaring at her "that's wrong, that's really, _really_… have you any idea how disgusting that is?" after a moment he went rummaging through the bag for wipes "of course you don't," he muttered to himself.

"Addy,"

Mckay threw the used wipe and soiled diaper in the trashcan after securing them in a bag "what?"

"Addy," Lexy repeated happily, rubbing a small fist over her eyes as she said it "Addy, Addy, Addy,"

"Daddy?" Mckay found himself asking, curiosity getting the better of him, then realising that maybe he should try and negotiate a clean diaper onto the squirming infant before… well, "your dad's… he's busy at the moment,"

"Nuh," Lexy clapped her hands together and shook her head "nuh, Addy,"

Mckay remained silent for a moment; focussing his attention on the task at hand and feeling mortifyingly proud of himself for having completed it without too much bother.

"Addy!" Lexy repeated again, clapping her hands in rhythmic motion "Addy!"

He frowned at her "I have no idea what you're talking about,"

"Addy!" she sounded impatient and agitated; her eyes were darkening and filling with what he prayed weren't tears.

"Don't cry," he pointed an instructive finger at her "don't you dare,"

Lexy waved her arms above her head, flexing her fingers in a grabbing motion as she stared at Mckay insistently.

"I have work to do you know," he told her, looking back at his computer and looking over what was being displayed on the screen "ow!" he snapped, turning back to look at her when she smacked a pen down across the back of his hand "what?"

"Addy," she said again.

"Stop saying that,"

"Addy!"

"Stop it!"

"Addy," she repeated and he could have sworn she was doing it on purpose.

Right, so 'Addy' didn't mean 'Daddy' which was a perfectly reasonable assumption. Could it be a toy of some kind?

Mckay pulled the bag over and started looking through it for something that could be labelled 'Addy' but when that label came from a child less than a year old it could very well have been anything.

It was sheer luck that had him notice that Lexy was now on all fours on the desk, leaning over the edge and coming precariously close to falling off.

"Hey!" he caught her and settled her back down on the table "are you trying to kill yourself?"

She gave him a reproachful look, then pointed at the floor.

"You want to go down there?" he looked down and then back at her.

Lexy blinked at him.

"There's nothing down there you know," a moment later he sighed and lifted her down, watching her dutifully for about a minute before returning to his computer.

Immediately absorbed once more into the simulations, diagrams and equations it took him a while to notice the silence that had descended upon the lab, or at least to recognise that it probably wasn't a very good thing, however much he may have treasured the peace. He glanced at the clock and winced when he realised it had been a good fifteen minutes since he had last checked on Lexy.

Looking down he was hit with the far too familiar sensation that came with the verification of something he dreaded but already knew had happened. _Shit._

"Lexy," he called out, checking under his desk and finding that it was void of anything vaguely baby shaped.

This was not good. In fact this was bad. Very, very bad… how could he have lost a baby? He could already hear the mocking voices of his team mates and friends back on Atlantis when the found out. Then he was jerked back to the present by the sinking feeling in his stomach; his friends jeers would be nothing compared to the wrath of the child's mother and, he paused for a second, Samantha Carter, when they found out.

Dropping to his knees and cursing under his breath about how his back 'really wasn't cut out for this' until he realised he may as well think the curses because hey, another thing to add to the lists of 'don'ts when babysitting' was to never swear at the baby. Came right after 'don't loose it'.

"Lexy?" he called out half-heartedly as he checked under each bench in turn, panic rising every time every time he found them to be empty.

He wasn't even supposed to be looking after her. Sam was. Vala had asked Sam to look after Lexy so technically if Lexy had gone missing then it was Sam's fault really, not his. He had tried to tell her but no, she hadn't wanted to listen, just like every other damn time he tried to point out something important. She was ignorant really. Hot, but ignorant.

"Lexy," he hissed, dragging her name into an extra syllable, checking beneath another workbench and finding that, that too was empty "you know I have work to do? Very important work, and if you don't come out here right now I'm going to-"

"Mckay?" Sam's voice broke through his rant "what are you doing?"

"I'm – ow!" his head thudded against the underside of her desk and he hissed his complaint as he got to his feet, painting a dazzling smile onto his face that judging by the expression on Sam's was just plain scary.

"Where's Lexy?"

"Lexy? She's uh…" _nice one Mckay, how're you gonna get outta this one?_

"Addy!" Lexy exclaimed.

Mckay and Sam shared a brief look before they both moved around to see the child sat on the floor by Mckay's desk, one hand in her mouth and the other curled around the chair leg.

Sam raised her eyebrows at him and Mckay just shrugged "we were…" think, uh… "Playing hide and seek," he ended lamely, growing uncomfortable beneath her stare and still trying to regain his bearings he tried another tactic "are you all right?"

She scooped Lexy up off the floor, seemingly ignoring him "I'm fine Mckay," she answered after a moment, the reply clinical and weary as if she didn't want to answer the question at all but saw no other option.

Pausing, as if weighing up the situation he replied "you know you can call me Rodney,"

Sam gave him one of her patented sarcastic looks that clearly said 'yeah, okay' in a rather snide fashion that only Mckay couldn't take offence too.

* * *

Cam smiled politely to the woman whom he had just showed to a room, turning away as she closed the door behind her and sighing. From military base to refugee camp in less than a week… The Wormhole Plaza, The Stargate Motel, The – 

"Colonel!"

He looked up, pleasantly surprised to see Carolyn walking over to him, her heels clipping against the concrete floor "seriously doc," he grinned "call me Cam or Cameron, hell even Mitchell, just drop the damn rank,"

She flushed and smiled at him "then it's Carolyn,"

Superficial and kind of pathetic but easy, nothing to heavy duty and… woah why was she snapping her fingers in front of his face? "Huh?"

"I said," she repeated "yes,"

"Yes?" he frowned in confusion, shaking his head minutely to try and clear it.

She took a steadying breath "yes I'd like to go to coffee with you,"

"You would?" he seemed taken aback for some reason.

"Yes… I mean if the offer's still going…"

"No… yes… I mean of course it is," the stumbling over words thing? It had to stop.

"So…" she prompted.

Grinning he replied "how about we change that dinner? At Il Fiore Bianco, say… tonight at seven?"

"Better make that eight," she answered, smiling "I don't finish until half six,"

"Eight it is then,"

* * *

The truck's engine roared into life, lurching when he reversed and set off in the wrong gear. He didn't mind anger, anger was good, he could channel anger. Hell he could _deal_ with anger. What he couldn't deal with however was everything else. 

She made him crazy, made him feel eighteen all over again, and… Sara hadn't done that too him. Comfortable-Friday night sex once Charlie was in bed, the game had finished and the fridge was short a few more beers. It hadn't been complicated, hadn't been hard, just laid back and relaxing. If they argued by the end of the week it was over, and he'd never, _ever_ felt the desire to make such a demand before, to challenge Sara in the slightest, not on how she felt for him.

_"Look me in the eyes and say that, look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me,"_

How ridiculous did that sound? So open, so… she'd done that. She'd made him take the risk again. He couldn't remember the last time he had 'bared his soul' to anyone – could he sound like any more of a sap?

Jack pointedly ignored the Mercedes blasting it's horn at him as he put his foot on the gas and raced through the lights just as they were about to turn red. He wasn't sure exactly where he was headed, and didn't think too much about it as he drove straight passed the exit to his house.

The fury was not directed at anything in particular, it was just there, a throb at the back of his skull that had his heart pounding in his ears for no reason whatsoever. The usual way of dealing with it would have been to head down the gym at the SGC, or the shooting range, even baiting Daniel into an argument about rocks and 'meaning of life stuff' purely because even after all these years Teal'c still hadn't caught on and Sam… Sam…

Only the prospect of going down the gym was not a welcome one; too many people asking too many questions; _"How's Carter sir?" "I saw you and the Colonel last week…" "Hey Jack, the wife's having a dinner party next month; how'd you and Sam feel about joining us?"_

The only weapon he had one him was his own, safely stashed in the glove compartment and even though he knew he could use one already at the range, it's appeal was lost.

And Daniel… Daniel was gone.

Ever since he'd met Sam she had intrigued him. Her cutting sense of wit was enough that his own, rather dry, sense of humour did not always get lost in the wreckage that became their lives far to quickly. And as the years went on, they grew closer, they all had, Daniel was the best friend he'd had since Kawalsky, Teal'c was the brother he had never had, and Sam… Sam was everything else.

It hadn't been 'love at first sight' he was far too jaded to believe in that any more, maybe when he was sixteen and fooling around with Suzie in the back seat of her daddy's car but not anymore. Not after everything else he'd seen.

When your sixteen the world is yours, you drive just because you can, you smoke because it's cool, you drink because you know you can't. You're convinced that you're going to change the world, make it better, all the hundred and one other things that the previous generation tells you are imminent threats to the survival of the human race but in all honesty probably won't affect you in the slightest.

Then you grow up and everything changes. You learn about taxes, mortgages, and health insurance. The aches and pains you remember teasing your parents about become your own. In a flash, that lifetime you thought you had is gone and you're left grasping at straws.

Jack had been bored in Washington; he'd never wanted a desk job, never asked for it. His childhood bedroom had been filled with toy guns, slingshots, army men and model planes; all he had ever wanted to do was fly.

He had retired for many reasons, and although Sam had not been the only one she had been amongst the most important. When he'd handed in his resignation, effective immediately a thrill of freedom had filled his chest, however it had disappeared by the time he had landed in Colorado.

Instantly pulled into the drama that Daniel and Vala called lives, time had been little and thoughts had not been privy to wandering much further than they ever had before. In a snatched few minutes he had kissed her and she had kissed him back.

The Airforce had made him fly.

Sam had made him soar.

* * *

"Orisi," a warrior called Adria over, gesturing to the video screen in front of the controls he was currently monitoring. 

Adria swept over, her dress flowing along the floor behind her, blinking and smiling sweetly as she nodded for the warrior to allow the communiqué through.

"I am Supreme Commander Thor of the Asguard Fleet," Thor greeted, the soft twittering of the Asguard native tongue audible from somewhere behind him.

Adria raised a thin eyebrow.

"You must retreat at once,"

"Hallowed are the Ori," she said almost sarcastically.

"Retreat Orisi," Thor said, his voice low and tense.

"Surrender to the will of the Orisi and none shall be harmed,"

Thor was silent.

"You are surrounded," Adria informed him simply "you're ship's shields will not hold long. I would not suggest activating you're hyper drive either,"

Thor stared at her for several seconds, carefully observing how sincere she was before he replied "very well," and terminated the feed.

Adria turned to the warrior by the controls "raise the shields," she ordered tersely, staring through the huge window in front of her, the Asguard ships in front of them looked to be just larger than her fist.

This would be quick.

_Author's Notes: Please review! I love reviews!! _

_Next Chapter: __Vala's idea of 'moving on' is a little different than what Sam deems to be acceptable and she ends up coming to an important decision (with the help of Beckett)_


	58. Broken Mirrors

_Disclaimer: And here I am singing the same ol' tune; it doesn't belong to me!!!_

_Author's Notes: I've written a few accents before, none to difficult, but I haven't written the Scottish one in years so… yeah…_

Chapter 58: Broken Mirrors

The first thing that Sam noticed was the leather. It looked nice, hell it looked amazing, and even better if you were male judging by the gaping mouths and stupid smiles flickering across the faces of those whose eye Vala caught. Which was also widely apparent to be every man in the room.

Compared to some of the outfits Sam had seen her in, this one was conservative and the material wasn't a head-to-toe number. But the pants were tight enough for it to bordering on illegal and the top – although not leather – was far to revealing, especially considering the way Vala seemed to be flaunting what little wasn't being left to the imagination.

After a few months on Earth Vala had seemingly learnt that it was not always necessary to wear as little as possible or as much as was crucial to look as great as she wanted too. It had taken some explaining but Sam – and Carolyn – had managed to get it through to her that you can look just as sexy in jeans and t-shirt as you can in a halter neck and mini-skirt. Her taste in clothes, although it had not cheapened, grew to be more casual and less… distracting.

She was buzzing, for reasons she did not want to analyze to deeply, Jack was a heavy weight on her mind and her stomach was churning as she pondered over the eternal question of 'what if' again and again.

What if _she_ was the reason everything had gone wrong? And Jack wasn't to blame in the slightest, it had simply been because it had gotten too serious, she'd run again. She'd run from Pete and as much as she wanted to say that she'd left him for Jack she wasn't sure she could. It would have been wrong to hide behind the death of her father as well. She'd left Pete because she'd gotten scared.

Pete had proposed to her and she'd said yes more for the fact that she felt it was high time she settled down already but then talk of flowers, dresses, venues and cake had become all Pete wanted to think about. The sinking sensation of dread one should not suffer from when contemplating their wedding filled her chest and the catalyst had been the house.

It had been a beautiful house and Pete had been a good man. But 'a good man' is never good _enough_, he'd been more than a friend, and she _had_ loved him, more than she had anyone before, that's why she'd said yes but in retrospect it was entirely possible that it hadn't been as serious as she'd wanted to believe. To say he was a 'good man' was just a way of defending her feelings to herself, and herself alone because anyone with half a brain cell could see right through that lie.

When she'd opened her eyes and seen the house of her dreams in front of her, Pete talking about painting the kitchen yellow, it hadn't been amazement that had ricocheted through her, it had been helplessness. The growing feeling that she had gotten herself in too far, water too deep to swim in and air too thin to breath and the distinct possibility that she wouldn't be able to get herself out without hurting someone scared her almost as much as the prospect of saying the words 'I do'.

Sam _was_ a committed person. To her work, to a cause and to a task but to a person? Monogamy had meaning, and she obeyed the laws of society, the thought of cheating on her significant other – whoever they might be – hadn't been something she had ever even contemplated but marriage? Marriage meant a lifetime, and after everything she had seen a lifetime is awfully short.

There were two plausible excuses, one being that she just wasn't the sort of person who settled down with the white picket fence, two kids and a dog in the backyard. The other the more vulnerable sounding but less harsh idea that maybe she just wasn't prepared to run the risk of saying that one day, one of them might not come back but that was something she had lived with ever since she had joined the Air Force all those years ago; after all, you don't log a hundred hours in enemy airspace during the Gulf War and _not_ wonder whether or not you're actually going to make it out alive.

Lexy had been left with her and Mckay nearly four and a half hours ago, and despite his protests, Sam was certain that Mckay actually kind of liked her, particularly considering the way he kept stealing glances at the child. The grin when she had handed him a sheet of paper with scribbles all over it had been a dead give away as well.

It was interesting in a strange kind of way to see how different people reacted to similar if not the same situations and for a moment she understood Daniel's persistent intrigue into culture and anthropological study.

When Vala was gone it had been almost painful to watch how protective Daniel had gotten over their daughter. No one was allowed anywhere near her, offers of help that would have previously been gratefully accepted were declined with far more vigour than was necessary and sleep had become a commodity that Daniel had once again forgotten.

Vala however was distancing herself from Lexy, sort of connecting with her but not, the news that Lexy had said her first word whilst neither of them was there was upsetting, especially when it would seem that her mother had _no_ excuse whatsoever for being absent. Ironic how it had been Mckay – _Mckay_ of all people – that Lexy had spoken to, albeit 'Addy' was hardly a word and the meaning was one lost on anyone but the baby but still…

Sam looked down at the food on offer, remembering – how could she forget? – That she was getting Mckay's as well.

_"I'm mortally allergic to citrus. One drop of lemon and I could die,"_

"You get dinner duty then Colonel?" one of the kitchen staff smiled at her as she served Sam.

Sam gave a tight smile, handing over a tub of baby food "can you heat that for me?"

"No problem," the woman smiled winningly at her, taking the container and handing it to a man who had just come from the back "heat this for me Mike?"

"You got it," he disappeared off and the woman looked back at Sam.

"I'm surprised he's letting you anywhere near his food – I think half the mountain knows about his 'allergies'," she made a point to sound sarcastic without sounding disbelieving at the same time.

Sam shrugged "he wasn't about to let me forget." And despite any jokes she may have made, anaphylactic shock was not something she would wish on anyone, there were times when she had wanted to punch Mckay in the face but she wasn't sure she would ever willing – and effectively – poison him. Was it strange that she hoped he trusted her at least to that level?

Smiling in thanks she took the now heated food from Mike and placed it on her tray, which was now full enough that it should satisfy the three of them for a good long while. Turning, her eyes automatically narrowed when she saw Vala, who was now practically lying across a table, her fingers hooked in the lapels of rather bemused looking airman's jacket. Sam recognised Vala's innocent victim to be a fairly new recruit to the programme so it wasn't hard to forgive him – chances were if Vala hadn't told him then he didn't know about Daniel.

"Vala," she said slowly; she was ignored "Vala,"

"Sam!" Vala turned, swinging her legs around and jumping to the floor; her 'innocent victim' was not so innocent after all, his eyes automatically sliding down and hovering somewhere near her ass for several seconds until he realised he was being watched studiously, he blushed and looked away muttering his apologies.

"Who's that?" she asked as the airman and his laughing friends got up and moved away.

Vala looked at her "is Lexy okay?"

"She's fine," Sam replied "but you'd know that if you weren't in here playing hookie with Airman Williams,"

"It was a bit of fun that's all," she defended flippantly "it's not like Daniel's around anyway,"

Sam put the tray down on the nearest table a little too harshly and the clatter sent the commissary into a spiral of silence "so what? Daniel's gone so you decide to throw yourself at the nearest willing body?" she snapped "guess what Vala? It doesn't work like that; you can't just walk away when things get difficult,"

"Walk away?" Vala laughed dryly "I'm the one that walked away?"

"He didn't have a choice!"

"Yes he did," she took a step closer "he did have a choice, and he chose _him_,"

"He was trying to save _you_, save us all!"

Vala shook her head defiantly "just stay out it Sam. This has nothing to do with you,"

"No," Sam agreed "no it doesn't. What you do with your life is nothing to do with me but flirting with an officer in this base does, when you abandon my God-daughter, your _daughter_ just so you can go and find somebody to sleep with then-"

"You didn't have to look after her. I could have asked someone else if you didn't want too,"

"That's not the point!" Sam exclaimed earnestly.

"Then what is Sam? Explain it to me because nothing I do is right anymore. Nothing. I can't please anyone, forgive me for trying," Vala turned to walk away, reaching the doors before Sam said anything.

"Is this what you do then? Daniel goes away, you stop hiding behind him and you bolt. Run away because everything you ever said to him were utterly worthless,"

Vala whirled around "what else am I supposed to do Sam? I don't have anything left!"

It was like something snapped then, a switch being flipped "stop feeling so sorry for yourself Vala! If you opened your eyes for a minute you might be able to notice something other than yourself!" she paused for a moment, "you have friends that care about you and a daughter that loves you – she said her first words today and you weren't even there to see it. How much of her life are you willing to miss out on because you're so busy drowning in your own self pity?"

Vala gave her a piercing look, bravado not-quite-faltering "you have no idea what it's like,"

"Just because Daniel's gone doesn't mean the world stops, you have to keep going and you can't just walk away from everything again," instead of anger her voice was now laced with urgency but it would seem that Vala disliked that reaction as well.

"No? Then what about Jack hmm?"

Sam mentally reeled, blinking as if remembering that she was in a crowded room and not alone with Vala in some secluded little area where they could throw insults and jibes to their hearts' content "that's different,"

"How so?" Vala challenged "the only difference is that he's still here, and yet you turned your back on him anyway. Perhaps you should try dealing with your own problems before you start attacking someone else for how they deal with theirs,"

Sam just watched, speechless as the doors swung shut behind her.

* * *

"Do you mind?" Mckay exclaimed without looking up, that was until he heard Lexy laugh and make a series of happy gurgling noises "Vala?" he asked, impatience filtering through but trying to sound vaguely concerned all the same. 

"Thank you," Vala said quietly, picking her daughter up along with the bad she had brought with her, "she wasn't too much trouble was she?" her sarcasm was evident.

He raised his eyebrows at her, resisting the urge to tap his fingers to try and hurry her along, after a moment she took the hint and left. He blinked after her, confused, or at least up to the point he realised that in actuality it was none of his business and therefore his oh so brilliant could be put to far more pressing matters, more deserving of his attention than a woman he barely knew's, emotional status.

* * *

To quote a person who's name she could not remember; who died and made Sam dictator of all things right and just? It was _nothing_ to do with her how she chose to live her life and as much as Sam might want to kid herself; Little Miss Perfect wasn't so perfect after all. 

Life doesn't give you what you want and it's absurd to pretend that it does. It leads you so far then screws you over. Waits until you're on your knees before landing you another blow for the simple fact that it likes to hear you scream. You have to make the most of what you have because in a flash it'll be gone and you're left deserted in the dust.

Fleeting moments of forevers that will never be and eternity becomes a second you never get to have. And in those fractions of time between the teasing glimpses of perfection you're left standing in the dark wondering if any of it was worth the price you are forced to pay.

Falling love is something that provides hope. So that when you _are_ left to contemplate ugly truths and vicious lies you can feel safe in the knowledge that when you leave and the demons you're scared to face become mere ripples in your past, someone is waiting for you on the other side.

She'd given Daniel everything she had and in perspective, everything she had was probably worth nothing at all. He'd left and all she could do now was piece together what was left and hope that in the end, it would be enough.

Sam had been annoyed with her for trying to assume some sense of normality because apparently what she considered to be the norm was not by some unwritten social code.

Before Daniel, her life had been a mish-mash of those fleeting seconds, there'd been no pause for breath, no 'hang on whilst I think about this', just a pure and simple adrenaline rush.

After she'd met Daniel she hadn't stopped, hadn't thought. He was just another face in a sea of nearly forgotten memories. And then she'd obtained the bracelets and for no reason whatsoever he had come once more to the forefront of her mind. Not that, that hadn't happened before, with other men but this time he didn't disappear, didn't fade away. Her every waking thought had led back to him and she'd hated every second of it; right up until the point where she had actually started _arguing_ with _herself_ over it. Pointing out again and again that the best person for the job was Daniel and there really was – except for that woman on the planet where they had a tendency to cross dress – no one else fit for it. But then who wanted a woman when they could have Daniel?

Close calls and various other mishaps had 'prevented' her from leaving and for some insane reason he had made her _want_ to help others with no obvious opportunity for personal gain. Intercepting the Ori super-gate probably ranked quite high on the list of the most stupid things she had ever done.

Daniel's unprecedented rescue of her from Adria the _first_ time had been surprising to say the least; however the last thing she had expected from him was anger, his fury for her having jumped in front of him had been met with uncertainty and upset.

"_What the hell was that for?" he demanded, holding her at arms length._

"_I just saved your life!" she snapped trying hard not to sound upset but failing._

_He glared at her as she wrenched away from his grasp "you could have died!"_

_She almost pouted at him, but then that would have been childish "Adria wouldn't have let me,"_

"_How do you know that?"_

"_I'm her mother-"_

"_The rate she's growing at she'll be older than you within a week!"_

_Vala glowered at him, "I'm so sorry that I care whether you live or die Daniel," she quipped "you can take your own shots next time; I was mistaken, saving your life doesn't feel so great anyway!" it was petulant, and she knew it._

"_Vala…" he sighed exasperatedly._

_She stared at him, eyes narrowed, her entire body was humming and despite Adria healing her, her side was on fire._

"_Are you okay?" he reached for her arm as she staggered back; her legs buckled and he caught her, preventing her sudden and abrupt descent._

"_I'm fine,"_

"_She didn't finish healing you," he told her "what did you think-"_

"_Daniel," she sighed wearily._

"_What?"_

"_I'm going to pass out now."_

She'd stayed, unsure why but the SGC became her home within mere days, the mountain turned into a haven she did not want to leave and as unrealistic and naive as it sounded, it felt untouchable. Adria was nothing more than a word, the Ori, a minor glitch in plans and whilst war was being waged amongst the stars she was protected from any and all harm that they may wish to bestow on her.

Sam and Cameron had been fun to wind up, uncertain of how to take her and suspicious up until the point where she actually did something she shouldn't which only made it all the more entertaining.

Teal'c was unique, and she liked the fact that he was always willing to listen and refused top pass judgement unnecessarily. He never gave her disapproving looks or rolled his eyes when she said or did something that was unfamiliar to Earthen custom. And if she did not understand a cultural reference he was more than willing to share his somewhat limited knowledge on the subject.

Daniel… describing him was like trying to catch water with her bare hands. He annoyed, intrigued and scared her. He made her feel safe at the same time as making her feel more vulnerable than she had ever been before. He drove her insane and she loved him for it. She loved him, he loved her and that was supposed to be the end of it. Full stop, story over, case closed. Nothing more to add.

Joining SG1 had been her goal since she had decided – and been given permission – to stay on Earth. It hadn't been for the thrill because she'd had enough of that to last her a lifetime and it hadn't been because she wanted to go through the Stargate because she had grown up knowing it had existed and in all honesty, it wasn't that amazing anyway. She had wanted to join SG1 because it was such a major part of all their lives, of Daniel's life and she'd wanted to share it with them.

The prospect of going home made her nauseous, Daniel's quarters on base would do just fine, there was a crib for Lexy in there and she was sure there'd be something in there she could sleep in for the night.

"Vala!" Landry's voice echoed off the walls as she opened the door and she turned her head to see the General walking towards them, "everything okay?"

She gave him a wan smile, gesturing that it was okay for him to follow her in as she disppeared in to the room.

"This came for you today," he said, handing her an envelope as she put Lexy down in her crib.

"Oh?" she took it "since when did you assume mail delivery duties at the base?"

Landry gave her a serious look "it's from your father,"

Her eyes darkened and she immediately moved over to the trashcan and dropped it "oh,"

"It's been nearly three weeks since he came to Earth and you've ignored every attempt he's made to get in touch with you,"

She gave him a sarcastic look "I've been a little busy,"

"I think family should always come first. I learned that the hard way." He winced as it occurred to him what he had said.

"How? Were you absent for the first three years of your daughter's life because you were too busy running scams out of the Nylus sector?" he hadn't meant anything about Daniel and she wasn't petty enough to challenge him on it.

"No. But I did allow my career to take precedent over the things that should've been more important to me; birthdays, anniversaries, my daughter's graduation…"

"No offense General," she answered tightly "but there really is no comparision. You had a legitamte occupatiomn. My father's career choice was… decidedly less noble. He'd be gone for months at a time, only to return to lay low or to hide from the people he had swindled,"

Jacek was the least of her worries right now, adding him to the ever growing list of things that had gone wrong and she qualified for the classic soap opera suicide.

"What were things like when he was at home?"

Vala paused, she had hoped that Landry would have left after that comment but it would seem that the good General was either nosy or genuinely cared. She shrugged "well I… actually looked forward to the times he would 'grace' us with his presence. I was young and he was my father." She smiled wistfully "sometimes he'd return late, in the middle of the night and I would wake to find him asleep at the foot of my bed. I was so excited I couldn't wait until morning and I would prod him awake and make him tell me all about his 'great adventures'."

Landry smiled "hmm,"

"He'd always have something for me too; a fancy ring, a pretty necklace, things that he'd bring back from his many travels. I treasured those keepsakes; memories of my father that I kept stored away under my bed…" she turned serious again, jerking back to present "until I was old enough to see them for what they really were: worthles trinkets meant to curry my favour,"

"Oh, he might feel different about that,"

"You don't know him," she snapped back, pointedly moving over to the dresser and hesitating as she went to open the drawer; it was pathetic. The scent of her husband had long since faded from their pillows but she knew what she would find in those drawers; his clothes, his shirts, and they hadn't been touched; how could she be so ridiculously stupid that the thought of opening a _drawer_ made her throat constrict and her chest feel abnormally tight?

"No I don't." Landry continued, thankfully he hadn't noticed her upset "but I do know that he's spent everyday since he came to this planet trying to get int rouch with you which tells me that you must be very important to him, possibly much mor than you know," he moved over to the trashcan and pulled out the envelope, setting on the footboard of the bed before walking over to the door "you have some good memories of the times you spent together when you were a little girl. Those times count too."

* * *

Lexy had fallen asleep with little effort and it did not take long for Vala to want to leave again but Sam's words rang true in her head, as much as she wanted to ignore them. A few minutes later however she had taped the button down on a radio and pocketed the other, the baby monitors were at home and there had never been any reason to have them on base so the radios had been the next best thing. 

Carolyn had helped her before, gotten her name changed for her and it hadn't been a problem, so maybe she could help this time. If nothing else Carolyn was nice to talk to her, she listened and was able to stay neutral enough that she didn't take sides in a situation that called for an answer as opposed to a mediator.

"Can I help ye lass?" Beckett asked as she entered the infirmary, glancing around the teeming hospital for Carolyn.

"I'm looking for Doctor Lam," she replied carefully.

"She's just signed out," he said somewhat regretfully, his accent soft and she found it almost soothing "I'm afraid ye missed her – anythin' I can do?"

Marginally disheartened she opened her mouth to tell him thanks but no thanks but was cut off when he spoke again a moment later.

"I'm sorry about Doctor Jackson love," he gave her a reassuring smile.

She gave him a tiny nod of acknowledgement.

"Where's that little girl o' yours then?"

"She's asleep,"

"Ahh," he nodded "so what is it ye wanted Doctor Lam for?"

Vala cocked her head to one side and Beckett got the impression she was sizing him up and he paused for a second before "tell ye what," he grinned "why don't we take this to the mess hall – it's just about time for my break now,"

Seeing no other option and noting that he was probably the next best person to Carolyn to talk to; an external voice that was only aware through second hand information about the circumstances she was in she nodded.

"Just wait here," he hurried off to talk to a nurse on the other side of the ward, letting her know where he was going and Vala gave a tiny, forced wave to the woman as she smiled over at her "right," he said, almost breathlessly "let's go then,"

* * *

"I want to leave SG1," 

Beckett almost choked and had to pat his own chest several times before his throat cleared enough for him to speak and his eyes stopped watering "ye what?" he coughed again "ye can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Well… because…"

She smiled at him tiredly "I joined SG1 for Daniel," she took a breath "and he's not here anymore-"

"Ye can't just leave because Doctor Jackson's not on the team!" he exclaimed, he wasn't going to say that it 'wouldn't be what Daniel wanted' because no one wanted to hear that, he'd been a physician too long to make that mistake.

"I have Lexy too look after and… well I'm not doing the best job on that. We'd be better off going somewhere else, there's this great little planet that-" she needed out, if she left then she could get away from it all, there would be no more waiting, no more heartbreak and no more Sam, Mitchell or Teal'c. It wouldn't hurt anymore because instead of them walking out on her, she'd have walked out on them.

He reached forwards and touched her arm "yer doin' just fine,"

She frowned "how can you know that?"

He just shrugged mysteriously and Vala couldn't help but smile back when he grinned at her.

"Seriously love, yer a great mum and I bet if asked anyone on this base they'd say the same thing,"

"Not Sam," she deadpanned.

Determined to cheer her up he answered "well… what does she know aye?"

"More than me about my own daughter evidently."

"Now ye listen here girl," he pointed at her authoritatively "just 'cause someone tells ye your doin' a bad job doesn't mean ye are. You're a great lass, SG1 needs you and if ye need someone to look after yer baby then I'm more than willin'," she didn't seem convinced so he continued "what would Doctor Jackson say if he heard you threatenin' things like that?"

She shrugged, suddenly feeling rather small.

"He'd tell ye yer being stupid that's what. O' course you have to look after Lexy but ye still gotta have a life and SG1 is a big part of it,"

Vala stared at him.

"Not another word about leavin' ye hear me?"

Without even paying much thought to it she replied "okay,"

"That's the spirit!" he said, his relief evident.

Maybe Beckett was right, she mused, sipping her coffee, maybe she could do this.

_Author's Notes: Yes, yes I know… my accents? Bad, so lets leave that shall we? Please, please review!_

_Next Chapter: They'd moved too quickly, made a mistake, now the consequences could be far worse than if they'd just left well enough alone. What do you do when your world is right in front of you but half of it is missing?_


	59. Relieved of Duty

_Disclaimer: Excerpt from Avalon Script: not mine._

Chapter 59: Relieved of Duty

"I'm really sorry," Cam found himself saying yet again as they pulled up outside the SGC.

"It's not your fault," Carolyn assured him forcefully.

They hadn't even gotten as far as dessert when their cell phones had gone off simultaneously and they had sent courteous smiles to their waiters and apologetic cringes to those unfortunate enough to be sitting near them as they answered.

The elevator hummed as they stepped inside, Cam flung out a hand to hold the doors as Ferretti yelled after them and gotten in as well.

Ferretti whistled as the doors slid to a close and they began a steady descent to level twenty-seven "lookin' good doc," he grinned at her.

"Thank you," she replied curtly, rubbing her arms absently as the dress she was wearing was sleeveless.

"Any idea what's going on?" Cam asked.

"Not a clue," he replied "I got a call just as I was signing out; whatever it is it better be good,"

"Hmm," Cam nodded in agreement as the little light announced they were at their requested level and the doors slid open.

Landry opened his mouth to speak as the three of them entered the briefing room but it quickly closed again when he saw his daughter's cocktail dress and Colonel Mitchell's casual suit. He gave Cam a pointed look before clearing his throat.

Carolyn glanced up at her date and smirked when he gave her an overly dramatic expression of worry.

"Sorry for calling you back Colonel Mitchell," a short man neither of them had noticed yet said "Doctor Lam,"

"Not at all," Carolyn gave the obviously shy man an encouraging smile "what's the problem?"

The man froze, wide eyes flicked from person to person, starting on her and finishing on Jack as he made a circuit of the room.

"Why don't we sit down," Landry suggested, but no one moved.

Reed blinked, he hated straws. He really, really hated straws. Doctor Collins as well for that matter because he had been the idiot who had proposed the ideas of straws in the first place.

"Kelan?" Nick prompted.

He took a deep breath "as you know my colleagues and I have been working on the San Graal," he said "some of us also decided to attempt to translate some of the text in Merlin's lab, much of it pertinent to the device Doctor Jackson used,"

There was a pregnant pause.

"It was actually rather intriguing," Reed leant forwards, expression brightening "there's so much data there it would take several lifetimes to read it all, after we translated it of course… the theories and experiments-"

"Yes, yes, get to the point," Mckay gestured jerkily with his hands for him to hurry up.

"Rodney," Beckett admonished him, glaring at his friend across the table.

Mckay just ignored him.

Reed looked disheartened again, glancing down at his feet studiously before looking up, his tone grave and his expression not dissimilar. "We made a mistake…"

"What do you mean _a_ _mistake_?" Mitchell's eyes narrowed, he could tell just by the way the scientist was avoiding eye contact that there was something wrong, something _really_ wrong and he had the horrible feeling that it involved Jackson.

The scientist took a precautionary step back, swallowing convulsively and looking at General Landry for a reassurance he didn't receive. "Doctor Scott managed to translate some of the text in Merlin's lab and…" his gaze made the rounds again and Vala found it only mildly unsettling when it landed on her and stayed there "there was a failsafe,"

"Failsafe?" She found herself asking, her curiosity getting the better of her but there was nothing else burning in her throat, no buzz of apprehension, no surge of excitement.

Doctor Reed looked at her, cursing his colleagues was again under his breath for making him do this. "Doctor Jackson is alive," the scientist's voice was soft, his eyes wide and darting from side to side, person to person and then to his hands until he remembered he wasn't in second grade anymore and talking into his chest just wouldn't cut it and he looked up again.

"That's the whole damn point," Cam snapped.

"No," Reed shook his head, a smile playing with his lips "he's alive; he never would have died. The failsafe was created by Merlin himself so that as soon as Doctor Jackson's body had degenerated to the point that it could no longer maintain both Jackson and Merlin, Merlin would die."

"You're saying…" Sam started.

Reed nodded enthusiastically, some what bolstered "Merlin sacrificed himself to save Doctor Jackson," he looked at Vala again, smiling at her carefully.

"How long?" Jack asked tensely.

Doctor Reed swallowed "it's uh… hard to say…"

"How long?" Jack repeated.

"I'd say…" Reed's eyes became downcast "probably since he was put in the stasis chamber – you had no way of knowing!" he exclaimed suddenly "no one did!"

"That can't be right," Carolyn argued "the EEG readings for Merlin were going through the roof, it was _Daniel_ who was fading,"

Reed shook his head frantically "Daniel's mind was protecting itself, hiding – Ancient's are powerful beings, a mere fraction of Merlin's memories would have been enough to damage it permanently but all of him… so much at once would have definitely killed him had the failsafe not been implemented." He paused for breath.

He was faced with a room full of blank looks.

"Okay…" Reed took a breath. "Let's say that the mind is made up of many layers, each far more complex than the next and if by that we also say that an Ancient's mind has the same amount of these layers as a human mind but also including many _sub_ layers. It would technically be possible for Merlin to 'protect' Daniel by coaxing him into hiding amongst them, where Merlin could both deliver him information and monitor his condition at the same time.

"Now I'm only guessing here but when Merlin tried to leave Daniel's body because of the effect it was having on him he had difficulty severing the connection he and Daniel shared. Whether due to a fault of his own or because Doctor Jackson was trying to keep hold of him I'm not sure.

"Merlin was forced to retreat far slower than he had original planned and therefore it was only sheer coincidence that Merlin faded around about the same time that Doctor Jackson was put into stasis,"

Vala had expected a rush; some high that sent her soaring like only the best wine could and then falling in a way that only Daniel had ever made it feel safe. But it was nothing like that. No fireworks, no heart-stopping, breath-taking quandary that left her head spinning and her pulse racing.

Instead there was just a warm, glowing feeling that settled in her chest and spread from there, slow and gentle. Over turning the cold and lapping at the fissures and cracks that had been created with every second that had passed since Daniel had touch Merlin's device for the first time.

The world hadn't stopped, the clock was still ticking and she was still listening to every word being said. She was perfectly aware of the minute little looks Sam kept shooting her, the fact that Jack had casually moved to stand a little bit closer and Teal'c was far less discreet in his concern, choosing to fix her with a stare that would have had anyone who did not know him running for their lives.

"So hang on," Ferretti interrupted the silence, ignoring the look Jack sent his way "you're telling us that what we put ourselves through, what _Vala_ put herself through was pointless?"

Reed opened his mouth to argue but found he couldn't "essentially… yes,"

Ferretti whistled "hot damn,"

There was quiet for several long minutes.

The strange thing was, she didn't feel anything that she would have expected, and in fact the sensation was not dissimilar to waking up from a very long sleep with the dopey kind of feeling that usually accompanies one hell of a hangover.

It was like her mind was spinning around so fast that it wasn't as if it were spinning at all. Colours were rich, black was darker, white was blinding and everything she touched felt like she'd been secluded from it for so long she had no idea what it was supposed to feel like anymore.

The warmth had not faded and the glow was as if she were trapped in a bubble no one could breach but everyone could see, despite the fact it did not even exist. He was alive, he was okay and that was better than any prize she could have wished for. Game over.

"Who goes?" Sam asked carefully.

"Vala," Jack replied instantly, staring right passed the blonde.

"I think maybe I should-" Cam started but was cut off.

"No,"

Landry nodded, catching Jack's point.

"We should send a med-team," Nick pointed out.

"Doctor Beckett?" Landry looked at him "would you mind?"

Blinking, a little taken aback but willing he nodded "of course General,"

Landry nodded curtly, getting to his feet, both Mitchell and Carter mimicked this action.

"Sir-"

"There's no way to know what condition Doctor Jackson will be in – he could wake up confused, there's various-" Reed piped up.

Carolyn sighed, "the only reason that Vala is allowed to go is because she is immediate family, other than that no-one should see him until his condition," she looked pointedly at Doctor Reed "whatever it may be, has been properly evaluated by either myself or Doctor Beckett." Glancing at Nick she was grateful that he did not point out that he was legible to go as well.

No one argued. They all wanted to. But no one did.

* * *

Air is a constant, it's all around you. A second without it and your ears start to roar, your chest burns and your head feels like it's had everything ripped out of it in one swift and incredibly painful move. 

Water is magnificent, vast and powerful, you can't live without it and yet it's so uncontrollable that it can kill you in minutes, suck you down into the inky darkness, lost beyond hope of ever being found.

Earth, a planet and a description of soil and dirt, forms the very basis of all things living. A home, an anchor, a food source, Earth is calm and quiet, sinewy strength that is soothing when there's nothing else there. You can sit and listen to the world go around.

Fire. She had loved fire. As a child she would sit in front of it for hours, watching the flames curl lazily, around the logs as it devoured them with a silken caress that wasn't half as soft when you touched it. Fire is amazing because you can't actually feel _it_. You can feel the heat and the sear of its breath but you can't actually touch the flames.

You can't feel its teeth because they're not really there, you can't look it in the eyes because it doesn't have any and yet it seems like it's alive all the same. It's powerful, it's strong and it's greedy. Her love of fire had disappeared in a second; the moment the flames had surrounded her, her adoration of the element was gone. The soft heat would normally have been welcome because the air had been chilly, the dress too thin and being tied up had never been something she had enjoyed because claustrophobia set in and all she could do was panic fruitlessly.

Her breaths had come short and sharp, trying to find air that didn't taste like ashes and for her chest to be filled with something other than smoke. Daniel yelling to the Prior as he was held back by two official-looking villagers, his voice a hoarse scream over the roaring flames that surrounded her. She'd cried but her tears had evaporated instantly, and in any other situation she might have cursed herself for it. But in all her life she had never felt so helpless, bound down by chains, forced to her knees and completely defenceless in the wake of a death that she was not ready to face.

She had once thought of dying in her sleep like her grandmother but when she turned six that notion become nothing more than a childish fairytale.

By the time she was eleven she had contemplated never dying at all because she was the fastest girl in her village and if she could outrun that annoying little boy from two houses down then she could surely outrun something as stupid as death.

At fourteen she'd watched her best friend get mauled by a wild dog, she discovered then that death comes in all shapes and sizes and sometimes you don't even see it coming.

On her fifteenth birthday she knew that when she died, she would do so fighting.

Years passed and she did just that, she went travelling with her father, swindling and scamming every person she came across, outwitting Jacek on more than one occasion and that was the only reason she'd joined him, because being better than him was the only thing good enough.

She'd been twenty-three when she'd been offered up by the people she had once called her friends to Quetesh and death became something she would never have to consider ever again.

Vala lost count of how long she had been Quetesh's host. At first she had counted the hours, then hours became days, days became weeks and as months had become years time became meaningless, all she could do was watch as her body was used to murder and plunder planet after planet, civilisation after civilisation. Children died pleading at her feet, women for their children and men cowardly enough to only care about themselves.

Once the Tok'ra had freed her she had returned to her village and most of the people she had known were no longer alive, the kids she had played with as a child were married, their own offspring beginning to think about marriage themselves. The reception she received was one she would never forget. No matter how much she might have wanted too.

All she remembered was pain; she could not say the moment when she died. The agony had been all consuming, the only thing she could think about. There had been no where to look so she had closed her eyes, screaming even though it was no good and the chains she tried reflexively to pull free of were scorching hot; it hadn't stopped her from trying.

_She awoke with a gasp, the air was crisp and clear as if there had never been a fire at all, every bone in her body felt like it had been broken and her throat felt like it had been torn open and stuffed full of salt._

"_Daniel?" her lips stung and her voice sounded shaky even to her._

_Daniel touched her face almost reverently, she flinched and something flickered to life in his eyes but faded before she could recognise it. "You okay?"_

_Vala moved closer to him, fingers curling around his arms and fisting in the material that covered them "I've got tingles all over." She replied quietly, she was shaking so much it was making her feel sick "and don't flatter yourself, I'm pretty sure it's not you," but it was. _

_It was him because he was holding her, because he was there and because when the fire had consumed her he had been the only thing she could think about. She pressed herself in to his chest, any closer and she might as well climb inside his skin alongside him, she was crying and she wasn't sure why because it certainly wasn't with relief._

_Daniel rubbed her back reassuringly and a sob caught in her chest because, dammit, that hurt. Her skin was so sensitive merely moving felt like a thousand tiny pins were stabbing her simultaneously. Every muscle felt like she'd been running for hours without stopping, aching like nothing before and her chest was so raw swallowing felt like ingesting liquid ash._

She hadn't had to think about it then, the pain faded soon after and she and Daniel went back to bickering endlessly with no reference or thought for the events that had taken place mere hours before. Caught up in the tidal wave of problems that now faced a planet she knew nothing about it didn't matter what _had_ happened, only what _would_. So it had been a shock – certainly for her – when she had seen it again.

Daniel had called it post-traumatic-stress or something like that anyway; all she knew is that the first night off-world with SG1 she had jumped like a startled rabbit the moment Cameron had struck the match.

_The fire crackled and hissed, sparks flying off the wood and landing just outside the ring of stones laid down to contain it. Sam was talking animatedly to Mitchell, explaining something to him about the energy readings she was picking up whilst Teal'c sat in silence, nodding appropriately as Daniel told him enthusiastically about the evidence of some brilliant culture or other he had found. She just sat there, frozen to the spot, staring at the red and orange flames as Cam finished stoking them and sat back._

_Her heart started to hammer in her chest and she wanted to ignore it because there was no reason for it to be racing at all, her wrists felt heavy and for one horrific moment she thought she could feel the chains still encased around them. Her breaths were cut short and after a few moments her head started to spin as the lack of oxygen was making her vision hazy, but she daren't breathe in any more because the smell of smoke was acrid and bit at her tongue. _

_The spark landed less than two inches from her foot and she had scrambled back without even thinking, knocking over her pack and sending it sliding into the wall of the nearest tent. Silence fell sharply and the hoot of some night bird or other echoed across the sky._

"_Vala?" Sam asked carefully, brow neatly furrowed, "are you all right?"_

_She could hear Sam talking but was far to engrossed in watching the fire, a morbid fascination that was only serving to distress her further, to answer._

"_Vala," Daniel said softly, dried leaves and dirt crunched underfoot as he stepped over and crouched in front of her "Vala,"_

"_Jackson-" Cam started._

_Daniel ignored him "it's okay," he whispered, voice so quiet she could barely hear him "you're all right," his fingers curled around hers, giving her hand a gentle squeeze and smiling a little when she finally managed to look at him; a moment later she was hugging him so hard he had no choice but to hug her back._

She hadn't cared what the others thought, nor had she known precisely what they knew but Daniel had. He may not have been able to relate to it completely but he was the closest she could have gotten and he hadn't seemed to mind that she'd refused to let go of him for several long moments, if anything when he'd shifted to stop his knees from seizing up she'd clung on tighter. Had she not been so terrified she might have made some lucrative comment about it.

"ETA Antarctic post; five minutes,"

* * *

The winds whistled around her and she automatically flicked up her collar, the scarf she was wearing was serving little purpose but all the same she would have been loath to take it off. 

"Ye warm enough love?" Beckett asked, walking up behind her.

Vala nodded, gaze caught by Doctor Reed as he moved briskly passed them, head down as he observed something on the device he was carrying, coming to a halt a couple of feet from the stasis pod Vala had purposefully avoided looking at so far.

"Right," Reed said, looking up, eyes suddenly darkening with concern "you do have the ATA gene don't you?"

"Yes," she replied quickly, shaking her head in dismissal as Beckett gave her a momentarily confused look before something seemed to fall in to place and it occurred to him.

"If you just-" Reed began.

"I know," Vala cut him off.

Reed opened his mouth to object but Beckett fixed him with a look that brooked no room for argument.

Taking a steadying breath, she pulled off one of her gloves as she stepped closer to the pod. Standing in front of it for several moments before raising her hand and placing it in front of the console. It glowed blue for a moment and for a brief second nothing happened. Then all too soon or maybe not soon enough there was whoosh and the silence was broken.

Daniel gasped for breath and in doing so moved inadvertently forwards, stumbling and Vala had no choice but to catch him. Beckett moved quickly, pulling a blanket from his bag and rushing over. He threw it around Daniel's shoulders as he straightened up, somewhat shakily, still leaning on Vala far more than he should have been.

Wide blue eyes fixed on her and she smiled back brightly, tears were creeping down her cheeks but she barely noticed, at least not until his expression faltered, his brow furrowed and he said the last thing she wanted to hear;

"Who are you?"

_Author's Notes: Please Review!_

_Next Chapter: He's back, he's right in front of her but that's not good enough. He's not complete. It's either all or nothing; people shouldn't come in halves. _


	60. You’re My Girl

_Disclaimer: If you recognise it, it's not mine._

_Author's Notes: This was rather difficult to piece together… I think it makes sense…_

Chapter 60: You're My Girl

It wasn't as if he didn't remember anything, basic things like walking, talking, using the bathroom and basic etiquette but everything else was a haze; random things would pop into his head at equally random points and a moment later it would be gone. He knew his name because people kept saying it too him and after having discovered what it meant he'd spent a good fifteen minutes repeating it to himself over and over again… _Daniel Jackson, Daniel Jackson, Daniel Jackson…_

His social security number – of all things – had come next, a series of numbers that made absolutely no sense to him but apparently had been on his medical records, or so the brown haired women in the white coat had said. Miscellaneous digits in his phone number, various years – 1965, 1973, 1997… it would seem that numbers were easier to recall than words, or more specifically names.

There was a silver haired man whom he had the feeling he had known for a long time, but no matter how many times he was told his name he could not remember it, Jason, John… Jim? Possibly but for some reason 'Jim' would glare at him every time he said it so maybe not.

Then there was the blonde woman, tall-ish, short, styled, hair that suited her and framed her face quite nicely, blue eyes that had filled with tears the moment she had seen him. Her name was annoying because it was on the tip of his tongue.

A big black man with a gold tattoo in the middle of his forehead, his dark eyes filled with compassion and relief, he said very little but when he did speak Daniel got the feeling the words meant a great deal. He was an alien apparently, but unlike the blonde, Daniel hadn't the faintest idea about his name.

A man with short brown hair and the kind of air about him that made you feel easy because his expectations weren't high and he accepted you for what you were. From what little of his personality Daniel had been witness too since returning, he could tell that the man was unerringly witty when it came to it.

The woman who seemed to be a medical doctor of some sort was pretty, sharp features and gently eyes disguised her stubborn personality and definitive reasoning. She was calm and factual, taking notes and muttering to herself as she read various things off the monitors she'd hooked him up too.

There were two other men, one abrasive and seemingly irritated by something and another – the one who had told him his name – with an unfamiliar accent; he was helping the doctor with whatever she was doing.

And then, of course there was the brunette who had been with the doctor back in the place full of ice. She'd been pretty, eyes bright and lively, her figure slight but not frail and her smile had sent spirals of warmth through his stomach. Her accent was different to the others, more pronounced and clear, similar in different ways to both his own and that of the male doctor. Her upset had been evident and for a moment he had wished more than anything that he hadn't said a word.

"Well," Carolyn sighed, "you seem to be fine, better than fine in fact," she glanced at Beckett "you seem perfect,"

Daniel nodded; unsure of what he was expected to say.

"Good to have you back Jackson," the brown haired man smacked his shoulder in a friendly manner, breaking the empty silence that followed.

He smiled back, mainly because he felt like he was supposed to. One thing he had noticed and was not entirely happy about, was the fact that they all kept _touching_ him. Nothing major, a hug, hair ruffled, hands lingering just a second longer than was necessary when his pulse was checked… all inadvertent and probably not intended but still there and still… annoying.

"Where is she?" he asked a moment later, discreetly slipping off the bed when the blonde went to try and touch his arm again.

"Who?" Cam asked.

He frowned, perplexed, how was he meant to say whom he meant when he didn't know himself?

"I believe," the black man said, his voice deep and startlingly calm "you are referring to Vala Jackson?" the statement was posed as a question.

Daniel looked at him, blinking, he decided that he liked this man. Well he liked all of them but this one did not seem intent upon petting him. Having only shaken his hand in a rather strange but oddly familiar manner that Daniel presumed was native to his planet when he had arrived and nothing since, Daniel concluded that he was friend rather than foe. It felt a little odd to think of this people like that but it was easier to trust his instincts at the moment than to strain himself trying to remember things that he wasn't certain were really there. "Yes," he said, almost enthusiastically "where is she?"

"Uh…" Sam looked around, as if searching for her "I'm not sure, she might have gone to check on Lexy,"

Daniel frowned again "who's Lexy?"

"Your daughter," Mckay stated neutrally.

It would have been comical, Cam decided, had it been any other situation, when Daniel's jaw dropped.

* * *

It wasn't _fair._

He was back, he was supposed to be okay and… he wasn't even _him._ An intruder with the face of husband but the mind of a stranger; it as wrong and – dammit it _wasn't fair!_

It was whiny and pathetic, she should be happy that he was there at all but it didn't work like that, she knew she should be content with what she had but since when had she settled for halves? All or nothing, do or fail, alive or dead – there _was no_ in between. Limbo made it complicated. Limbo made it grey.

After that initial question she had not touched him, she'd barely even _looked _at him because that would just be a tease; like he was mocking her purposefully in a screwed up and totally impossible way.

The mattress dipped somewhere near her feet and she jumped – barely having noticed the door open in the first place – recognising him she lay back down, her back to Lexy as she stared nonchalantly at the opposing wall "go away Nick,"

"No," he said firmly.

She actually considered kicking him, fortunately, or maybe _un_fortunately, she didn't, "what do you want?"

"How are you?"

She rolled her eyes.

Nick sighed, "I am sorry," he said, it was a long time coming and probably meant nothing anyway.

She laughed quietly for a second "thanks,"

"He's back,"

"If that's what you call it,"

He felt like slamming his head into a wall "you two drive me insane," he stated matter-of-factly.

She turned her head a little to look at him sceptically.

"Do you just like torturing yourselves or are you genuinely that afraid of taking the risk and biting the bullet is just too difficult?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" she snapped defensively.

"He's back. He's alive and he's _Daniel _– why are you in here when he's in the infirmary?"

"Funny," she sat up, sarcasm evident "the Daniel I remember actually knew his own name,"

Nick gave an exasperated sigh "you know what? Fine, if you're so determined to wallow in self-pity, get on it with it. I've had enough of having to play happy mediator between the two of you," he got up.

"Thanks for that Nick," she called after him as the door slammed behind him "you're a real help," she added in a muttered whisper.

It would seem that whilst Nick was sorry for what he had done – namely for not stopping Daniel getting himself into this situation in the first place, he was also determined to get to her in other ways. Whilst the man had been… helpful at the beginning now he was just being intrusive, and who was he too lecture her on not being in the infirmary when he was absent as well? And Daniel was _his_ grandson.

She wanted to see him, she really did but that was the problem; it _wasn't_ him… who _was _he?

Maybe it wasn't the fact that he was different, maybe it was because everything else had changed; maybe she had? If he was reckless enough to abandon them once, who was to say he wouldn't do it again? It wasn't that he was heartless it was just that he was so wrapped up playing the hero he became oblivious to everything else.

* * *

"Daughter?" Daniel sputtered "I have a… d-daughter?" 

Sam glared at Mckay's impressive lack of tact; his response was to merely ignore her.

"Yep," Jack nodded "ten months old; spitting image of you,"

Daniel smiled "can I leave?" he turned to Carolyn and Beckett.

"You should probably stay in for observation," Beckett advised, "amnesia-"

Cam shook his head vehemently, glancing at Carter.

"It's not your decision laddie,"

"Vala," Sam argued softly "she needs to see him,"

"Then she can come to him,"

"Carson," Carolyn sighed, "Doctor Jackson, you may leave but," she turned to the others "don't tell him anything." She glanced at Beckett, hoping he bore no ill will for her given that she had just undermined his decision, she could do that technically but he was a good doctor, a good man and she really didn't want to have to start posturing with him. So she was relieved when he simply nodded, not in agreement with her decision, his feelings about that were evident in his eyes but for her unspoken apology.

"Why?" Cam asked.

"He needs to remember on his own," Beckett explained "it's the only way to judge if there's any change or if aspects of the amnesia are to be permanent,"

"Still here," Daniel gestured pointedly.

"Right of course," Carolyn capitulated "of you go,"

"Uh…"

Jack laughed "c'mon Danny," he smirked "let's go find Vala,"

"Thanks Jim," Daniel said, walking away for what was obviously the door.

"It's Jack," he corrected through gritted teeth before following.

* * *

"Knock, knock," 

Vala stiffened at the sound of his voice, not him, the last thing she needed right now was to have to deal with _him._

"Vala," Jacek greeted warmly, slipping into the room with a grace that could only be described as sneaky.

She sat up automatically, her eyes narrowing "was there any point in you knocking?"

"Funny," Jacek grinned at her then "hug for daddy?"

Vala glared at him.

"Oh there she is!" he moved towards the crib but Vala scrambled off the bed and placed herself between him and her daughter "she's beautiful." His smile broadened as he sidestepped her and hurried over to take a proper look at his slumbering granddaughter "never figured you for the settling down type honey,"

"Guess you don't know me as well as you thought," she fired back, hovering protectively over Lexy.

He looked up at her "come now," he said gently "surely we can-"

"No," she said finally "no, there's no we, there's just you. Now-"

He ignored her, stepping across the room and leaning against the dresser "I hear you got married as well – nice man?"

She just looked at him.

"Oh come on Vala, throw me something here,"

"Why should I?"

He seemed a little bemused for a moment "do I get to meet my son-in-law?"

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Because you're my little girl," he replied lightly "I have to see if he's good enough for you don't I?"

"Give me break Jacek," she crossed her arms defiantly.

"What?" he asked innocently "can't I be concerned for the welfare of my only child?"

"Oh!" she said sarcastically "you mean like when you abandoned mother and I for weeks on end? Or when I was chosen as Quetesh's host? Or perhaps when I was nearly stoned to death by our own village? Like those times?"

"There was nothing I could do Vala, you know that,"

She shook her head dismissively "the only thing you need to know about Daniel is that he's a far better human being than you could ever be,"

If that stung him he didn't show it "Daniel…" he said slowly "is that the man who they've just shipped in?"

"Yes," she said coldly.

He looked confused for a second "then why are you in here?"

"Excuse me?"

"Shouldn't you be with him?"

"What I should and shouldn't do is nothing to do with you; how dare you implicate yourself in my life after all these years?" she snapped, he shouldn't be here, he shouldn't be interfereing with this; too little, too late. "You were never there for Mother! Even though you always expected us to be there for you, whenever you needed a-a place to hide or-or capital to help set up one of your latest scams!

"My life has been a constant struggle against the personal issues that you seeded! And now that I am at Stargate Command and I am finally _happy_ with who I am, you think you can come along and jeopardize everything I've worked so hard to achieve! Under no circumstances will I allow you to screw that up for me!"

Where the hell had that come from? Well she knew where it came from – didn't need a psychologist to figure that one out – but now? To quote a rather strange human phrase; her father must have been the straw that broke the camel's back.

Jacek raised his eyebrows at her, "wow; did you rehearse that?"

She glowered at him "get out Jacek,"

"But things were going so well!" he exclaimed, straightening up.

"The only reason I didn't kick you out the moment you walked in here was only please my friends," because no she could honestly say to Landry and Cam and anyone else who asked that she had spoken to her father, and then they might just stop giving her advice she didn't need.

"Yes, it must be wonderful to have friends who care about you, support you in times of need, who believe in you…"

The blow was low, and all she wanted to do was to crawl back onto the bed and hide beneath the duvet. She wanted Daniel but he wasn't available, and may never be again, so she would have to settle for loosing herself in the precious memories that would fade far before she was ready to part with them. Tears burned her throat and eyes but she pushed them back "I earned their trust," she answered in earnest.

"At least…you had the opportunity. You won't even give me that."

"You don't deserve it,"

He nodded, accepting her dismissal, at least for now "well then before I go… this is for you," he pulled a necklace from his pocket, the metal sparkling in the light "I got it from a trader on Meronat," he explained as she took it "you know, that little world with the twin suns I used to take you to?"

"I remember Meronat," she said, trying to remain as detatched and cold as possible because sounding the way she knew she did, Jacek would surely take it as some token of forgiveness."You still have your little treasure box? Where you would store all the gifts I used to bring you when you were just a little girl?"

She looked away, glancing at the dresser for a second and then back at her father, all the time avoiding eye contact "no… I threw that away a long time ago,"

He looked a little hurt and she hated the spike in her chest as she saw his expression falter "ah. I understand. Well, I better be going… and even though it's too late, I want you to know…I'm sorry."

She nodded swiftly and watched him leave. Taking a breath she looked down at the necklace in her hand; it was a pretty little thing and there would have been a point a long time ago where she would have thrown her arms around her father in thanks instead she threw it onto the dresser, letting it slide across the polished wood surface and come to a halt at the back.

There was another knock on the door.

"Go away!" she called out, walking back over to the bed and sitting down on it, burying her face in her hands "please," she added in a whispered after thought.

There was some muttering followed by an all too familiar voice that sent a shiver down her spine "Vala?" he said carefully "can I come in?"

She looked up, hands falling into her lap as she stared at the door. He was there, and if she pretended she hadn't heard the hesitancy in his voice and that she hadn't heard Jack have to remind him of her name then it could have been any time, any place, before all of this, before the incompentancy of the scientists and the stupidity of the military, before Merlin and his horrible machine.

The door opened slowly, and it barely even registered that she hadn't given him permission, he grinned at her in that way the made her spin but instead of smiling back she was forced to fight off waves of vertigo.

"Hey," he said softly "I um… hope this is okay?"

She didn't say anything, she wasn't sure she _could_. What was there to say anyway? That she loved him? That hadn't mattered before. That she'd missed him? Understatement. That she hated him?

"How are you feeling?" of all the things she could have said, that was probably the most neutral and in all, the most stupid.

He looked a little disappointed; _well,_she thought, _what were you expecting? A grand performance?_ "I'm good," he answered "you?"

It was _fine_. He said that he was _fine_ not _good_. Daniel was always _fine_. "I'm good too,"

The silence was deafening.

"So are you and I…" he left the question hanging.

"We were," she replied, getting to her feet and walking pointedly over to the crib more for the fact she was uncomfortable under his unwitting scrutiny than anything else.

He nodded in a calculated fashion "so…"

Vala said nothing for several minutes, and therefore he was not expecting her to lash out the way she did "it's stupid," she exclaimed, whirling around.

He wanted to ask what, but then decided he probably wouldn't understand anyway, and so waited for her to continue.

"It's really, really stupid because I loved you and I loved you so much that it _hurt_ but you went and did it anyway! You looked me in the eye and told me that you didn't have a choice and then you had the nerve to kiss me like that made everything okay. Like by kissing me what you did wouldn't matter!"

And he had. He'd kissed her and she'd kissed him back and then she'd stood still as he'd used the machine again and again, without thought for her or for Lexy; and on the off chance he'd looked, he certainly hadn't been seeing her. She'd loved him; she still did but that didn't mean any of it mattered.

It's strange. Being so tangled up in someone you no longer where you end never mind where they begin. It's a dangerous position to be in, you both know which buttons to press, which cause the pleasure and which cause the pain, the weak spots, and the double bladed knife edges that you push each other over without a second thought. Loving someone so much you don't even realize you love them at all. An experience that's as old as time and just as strong, but in the same instance as new and fragile as cracked glass, disintegrating like ice with the slightest touch.

Love isn't about thinking, it isn't about doing, and it's quite literally, being. She didn't want to think but she couldn't help it, he'd taught her that, forced her to think things through before she acted.

It wasn't supposed to be like that; you take the leap, you stumble and you fall. You wish for the times of innocence lost where grazed knees and bruised hands were the most perilous your life ever got. And then you think back on those same times and hate them with a vengeance because they signify a time when love was your pet gold fish and hate was being called stupid by the kid next door. It doesn't make sense. It's not supposed too.

Life had been simple, four years ago she'd been free to do as she pleased, what someone thought didn't matter, what she felt was worthless; only what she did was worth even a fraction of what she could have hoped. There had been no ambition to change that, no desire to break her own boundaries, and whilst many had been loose, the ones regarding her own emotional well being had been stricter than anyone could imagine. But then she'd met him. Then everything had changed.

Love changes all the rules. Rules set down to ground you, keep you to yourself, protect you from outside occurrences; people that want to hurt you. Sex isn't love. Essentially they are linked in the minds of everyone who considers them; conceivably one must lead to another. She'd had sex before and hated the other participant and she'd loved Daniel long before she'd ever had sex with him so logically that ideology was already proven wrong.

You say no, love says yes, you run away, love drags you back. You can't control it, you can't stop it and you can't do anything but obey it. It's brutal, it's cruel and it takes you way beyond what you think you're capable of. Love can kill you if you let it. Maybe that was what was happening now. Maybe he was killing her but neither of them knew it? The number of things that went wrong, one could begin to wonder.

Taking them both down to basic components love and sex are to very similar states of being. Both are controlling and both are a weakness. The Achilles heel of all who are lacking in the self control to pull out in that minute window of opportunity that presented itself after the bickering faded to something with more connotations than was strictly necessary and before your every waking thought went back to them.

How you feel isn't supposed to matter, what you say is worthless and what you do… what you do gets you where you want to go, what you want to get and if you're lucky a warm body to sleep with. Falling in love had never been part of her plan, but then _he'd_ shown up and soon after she'd concluded that whilst she hadn't fallen for him back on the Prometheus, there was definitely more to him than she had first thought.

So she'd taken the jump, closed her eyes and fallen so hard it sometimes she had wondered if it had been worth it but then he'd look at her and that was it, she was ready to do it all over again. She'd leaped back in that cave of a laboratory, difference was, she was still falling now.

He had no idea what she was talking about; the looming presence was like a dark corner in his mind, barred from reach by walls too high to climb and guards at every chip in the stonework. What he was feeling was related to what she was saying and a part of him felt angry but he didn't know what he was expected to say or to do because even though it was there he wasn't certain of the source, "did it?"

She gave him an indignant look.

"Sorry," he mumbled, diverting his gaze.

"You always are after the fact,"

"I've done this before?" he exclaimed, comically horrified.

Vala was almost annoyed that he was making fun of her but one look told her that he wasn't, the expression on his face would have been endearing had she been inclined to surrender once again to non-existent fidelity. Besides, you can hardly be sorry before you've committed the act, can you?

"I love you," he whispered, as if nervous of breaking the silence.

"What?"

He blinked at her, as if questioning that same fact, then "I love you,"

She paused, staring at him, _crumble, crumble, crash and burn,_ "why?"

He gave her an odd look "because…" he hesitated for a moment "because you're you,"

She couldn't help but smile weakly at him "no, I mean why are you saying that… now?"

He shrugged "I don't know,"

But he should. He should know. He had the answers. Daniel _always_ had the answers.

"Look," he sighed exasperatedly and she realized she'd been quiet for too long "I understand that your angry, I can't say I understand _why_ because I barely even know my own name, never mind using some device that made me loose my memory. I'm not sure why I'm here, I don't remember anybody and I certainly don't remember this place. I think that I loved you, and I guess that's a reasonable assumption given that we're married but I'm not certain and if you want me to leave I will but I just thought I'd let you know that I don't actually know where I'm going so you might have to call someone first."

Vala laughed lightly, and after a beat he smiled back... it was ludicrous, all of it. Every single thing; their entire lives were some insane galactic joke. They walked through a ring of the universal-equivalent of coal and stone. They fought over-paid bad guys using semi-automatics and tazers. Wizards from myths and children's stories were real. Magic a science even Sam Carter couldn't define and at the end of the day what did you get? If you were lucky you survived to do it all again tomorrow and if you were unlucky? Well… you just didn't.

Each day was a new line of the story, each mission a new chapter and then it ends in some totally ridiculous way that hurts so much you can barely breath but if you told it to the 'folks back home' they wouldn't believe a word you said. The script was already finished but no one had read the ending.

Sometimes you die in a momentous fashion; a hero's suicide. But more often than not it's quick and effortless. You barely even feel it and then the people around you hate it all the more because it was just too damned easy and there was nothing to mark the event in an ocean of a hundred other lives lost in the same stupid way.

So you savor every moment you have, hold on to what's yours and give just as much as you take.

"Daniel," she whispered, her eyes closed and her heart pounding in her ears.

"Yeah?" he watched her carefully.

She opened her eyes as she exhaled slowly, closing the suddenly too-big gap between them in three easy steps. And then she kissed him.

* * *

Walter sipped his coffee, it was lukewarm and didn't taste particularly nice but it was caffeine so it didn't matter. Shielding a yawn behind his hand he checked the screen in front of him and relaxed back in his chair with a comfortable sigh when everything read as normal. 

A bright white light filled the 'gate room and he sat bolt up right in his chair just as the Sergeant next to him went for the phone: "General Landry, you're needed in the control room,"

Walter's eyes widened as the light receded and the 'gate room was subsequently fuller than it had been before; "Commander Thor?" he stammered into the intercom.

Thor looked regally up at him. With a small incline of his head he answered, "greetings Sergeant," and the soft buzz of his companions speaking in their native tongue faded to nothing.

_Author's Notes: __**Please Review!**_

_Next Chapter: Cam's given a speech he hasn't heard since he was seventeen, Daniel tries desperately to remember who he, and everyone else are and the Asguard have some serious explainin' to do._


	61. Daddy’s Daughter

_Author's Notes: There's a minor reference to Season 1 Atlantis' 'The Eye', not that it matters. I'm going to see my grandparents on the other side of the country at the end of the week (26th) and I won't be back until Monday (I think…). So there won't be any updates during that period. In the meantime; read, enjoy, review!_

Chapter 61: Daddy's Daughter

It was uncomfortably warm, the sheets tangled around her legs serving only to irritate her further but didn't dare move because if she did then there was the distinct possibility that she would wake up and none of this would be real.

It was supposed to be. Everything pointed towards that being the case but then of course, it always did. And no matter how many times it was proved that if something was thought to be too good to be true then the chances that it was were alarmingly high. You still fell for the same old traps, played the same old game and you were still as surprised as you were the first time the world fell in tatters at your feet.

He _looked _real and he _sounded _real. He sure as hell _felt_ real. So theoretically there was nothing stopping her from just falling asleep.

It was possible that there was something morally wrong with the situation, for starters, was it really taking advantage of him to have sex with him when he basically had no idea who she was? Or was that part of the temptation, to do it all over again, explore old territory with new eyes, reverent touch and the thought that it was all so very wrong just another temptation to surrender too

Fingers dancing across flesh to a routine that never grew old, hands ghosting over each other as they tried, and failed, to obey the voices in the backs of their heads begging for just one more second that teased itself into something much more. Lexy had been in the cot, barely five feet from them and there were so many things wrong with that, it was hard to justify them all. But she _had_ been asleep and there was no way she was old enough to even remember what had happened two hours ago never mind what 'mommy and daddy got up to last night'.

Things get confused, muddled up and morph into something entirely different when you try and think about them too much. Clichés become a daily routine, and you think the same thoughts, doing the same things again and again, running over scenarios and possibilities a thousand times even though you probably shouldn't think about them at all. Kisses that make your blood fizz and sex that sends you spinning into a world of euphoria and ecstasy. It all exists. It's all mind-numbingly real. The part a lot of people have a problem with is accepting that fact because how can something so pure exist at all?

"Mmm," Daniel stirred and she turned her head to look at him, feeling absurdly guilty when his eyes flickered open "why aren't you 'sleep?" he slurred.

She smiled at him, raising her hand and allowing her fingers to brush the side of his face gently "I'm glad you're here," she whispered, her hand resting on the side of his neck, his pulse thrumming a steady beat against her palm.

"I'm glad you're here too," he replied, blinking at her, the only light in the pitch-dark room was filtering through from under the door, casting ghostly shadows across the bed.

The urge to both laugh and cry bubbled up in her throat, she settled for nodding a little, the rustle of her hair against the pillow crisp and harsh to her own ear. She pulled back and as her hand slipped from his neck he seized hold of it, warm fingers locking around her own and for a moment she was all too aware of quite how much bigger they were in comparison to hers.

"Don't," he pleaded, eyes round and pupils large as they tried to compensate for the irritatingly small amount of light, he released her hand but only enough to interlace their fingers, palm-to-palm but the hold a little more relaxed than before.

"Daniel…" she started but any thought of continuing faded the moment he kissed her, short and sweet but her entire body hummed in anticipation.

He smiled at her "I'm still me," the statement was shaky as if he wasn't even sure of it but she didn't argue with him as he pulled her closer. His arms wrapped around her and she sighed contentedly as he kissed the top of her head and settled into the pillows again.

It didn't matter if it was real or not and it didn't matter if he didn't remember, for now all that mattered was the slow rise and fall of his chest and the sound of his heartbeat against her ear. Tomorrow would bring the truth, one way or the other.

* * *

With the announcement from Doctor Reed various personnel had, had to be called just as they were about to go home, he himself had been about ten minutes from leaving when he'd had to call everyone back. So now, eight o'clock in the morning he was faced with yet another problem; the abrupt arrival of the Asguard in the 'gate room. 

They had all – supposedly - gone home last night shortly after the helicopter to Antarctica had taken off, but Colonel Carter had apparently never signed off although he was pretty sure she'd slept on base. Colonel Mitchell had also stayed on base, but only after Carolyn had said that she was going to because she wanted to be there when Daniel came in. Ferretti and Jack had left to 'catch what was left of the game' and he himself had gone home. And as for Nick? He had no idea.

The fact that he had slept an insanely small amount only became apparent when his alarm had gone off and he discovered that the little green numbers really _had_ said 'five-oh-five' when he'd finally gotten to sleep. And if he hadn't gotten much sleep, what was the betting the rest of them hadn't either?

He watched as Sam and Teal'c entered the briefing room and with a slow sigh he got to his feet and exited his office.

"General," Sam greeted politely.

He nodded "Colonel,"

"Cameron's on his way sir," she informed him, "and Nick's going to get Daniel and Vala,"

He nodded again, taking his seat and motioning for the others to do the same, waiting in a comfortable silence for everyone else to show up.

Thor arrived last, and it looked almost absurd to see him walking into the room as opposed to his usually method of beaming in and he greeted SG1 with his usual warm candour.

"So," Cam started as no one said anything "what's up?"

Thor inclined his head, black eyes focussing on the Colonel with the kind of scrutiny that left him feeling slightly uncomfortable "Doctor Jackson," the commander looked at Daniel "my sincere apologies for being unable to assist you earlier,"

Daniel looked mildly confused but nodded in thanks.

"Where is General O'Neill?"

"He's retired," Carolyn answered him, a perturbed expression on her face as if she wasn't sure exactly what to make of him.

"I see," he replied slowly, in the kind of way that left you wondering whether or not he was going to say _'that changes things' _like in those cheap action movies.

"What can we do for you?" Sam leaned forwards onto the table, giving the little grey alien her full attention.

Thor made a strange noise in the back of his throat and Cam guessed it was the Asguard version of coughing. He sounded like a wounded cat. "When General O'Neill contacted the Asguard regarding the situation with Merlin's device, we were unable to help you because we were otherwise engaged,"

"Yes," Nick said.

Thor gave him a strange look, blinking once before turning to address the table again "shortly after the communication we were forced to engage the Ori ships in battle," he paused "we suffered many losses,"

"I'm sorry," Landry said, on the behalf of all of them.

The Asguard nodded slowly "the only ship to survive the battle was _The Daniel Jackson_, however we took on considerable damage; we lost both weapons and shields, the hyper-drive is also offline and should we have attempted to return to Orilla it is unlikely we would have completed the journey,"

"What do you need?" Cam asked.

"I have sent a message to the Asguard home world, however it will take several days for assistance to arrive,"

"You want sanctuary on Earth until then," Cam said when it became apparent that Thor wasn't going too.

Thor looked at Landry, answering simply "yes,"

It was a serious blow to find out that even the Asguard could not defeat the Ori, because all these years, despite their mishaps and over-confidence that often led to disaster, the Asguard were still, well, the _Asguard_. 'If the Asguard couldn't do it then no one could.' It was a naïve thought, and Landry hated the fact that even he had been sucked into believing it.

Feeling more than slightly defeated, he nodded.

* * *

"Colonel Mitchell, can I have word?" 

Cam swallowed his mouthful of rice "sure," he gestured with his fork "have a seat sir,"

Landry took the seat opposite him, watching Mitchell for a moment as he continued to eat, "I'm your commanding officer," he said, deliberating on how to have this conversation.

"Yes," Cam said, pausing, then "is something wrong sir?"

"I am also Carolyn's,"

There was a sinking feeling in his stomach, and he was pretty sure it wasn't the stew "sir I-"

He held up his hand to quiet him "I'm not here to give you a lecture about the chain of command Cam," he said and he could practically see the relief wash over the younger man "I want to talk to you as Carolyn's father,"

"Oh," he glanced down at his half-eaten meal; suddenly it didn't look so appealing, looking up again he waited for Landry to continue.

"She's not had the best luck with men," he leant forwards onto the table, studying his entwined fingers carefully, if Carolyn so much as _suspected_ they'd had this conversation then… well it didn't bear thinking about. When he looked up his gaze held a strange combination of harsh protectiveness and warmth "you're a good man Colonel, but you hurt her…"

Cam swallowed, understanding without having to prompt him to continue "yes sir," he whispered, wishing like hell they weren't having this conversation in the middle of the commissary, or at all even.

Landry grinned at him "are you all right Colonel?"

Cam nodded "yes sir," he repeated as the General got to his feet and left the commissary.

He had the overwhelming urge to slam his head into the table.

* * *

Teal'c opened his eyes as there was a soft knock on the door "you may enter," he said, getting to his feet with the kind of grace only he could achieve "Daniel Jackson," he greeted warmly "you are well I presume?" 

Daniel closed the door behind him, hovering close to it as if hesitant to move any further. The sweet smell and flickering lights of candles bathed the room in a soft and welcoming glow. "Teal'c right?"

Teal'c smiled "Indeed,"

Daniel nodded, looking around the jaffa's quarters as if he had never seen them before, and Teal'c was reminded with a soft pang in his chest that as far as the archaeologist was concerned, he hadn't.

"Have you remembered anything else yet Daniel Jackson?"

Starting as if he had been lost in a world of his own Daniel gave him a blank look then "uh… not really…" he looked around again "what're all the candles for?"

"They help me to meditate,"

"Oh," Daniel said softly "if you want me to leave…"

He gestured to the floor in front of him "you may join me if you wish,"

"I…"

Resuming his position on the floor Teal'c continued "I would be honoured if you would join me Daniel Jackson," he said, eyes closing.

Daniel had the strangest feeling that it wasn't really up for discussion, however the scenario was familiar and he found himself taking the bigger man up on the offer without giving much though to it, sitting cross-legged on the floor and observing Teal'c carefully.

"Have I… we…" he paused a moment "this feels familiar," he stated softly.

Teal'c opened his eyes, smiling fondly "you have meditated with me many times,"

Daniel nodded slowly, wondering whether or not he was going to continue.

"You lost your memory once before,"

"From using Merlin's device?"

Teal'c's expression saddened, or it might have been the candles casting shadows on his face, Daniel wasn't sure "no," he replied hollowly "you were suffering from radiation poisoning. Instead of death you chose to ascend, a year later you returned to us; you were suffering from amnesia, as you are now,"

There was quiet for several long minutes and when he spoke Daniel was loath to break the silence "did meditating help me remember before?" he whispered.

Teal'c's eyes closed again "indeed,"

Exhaling slowly, Daniel shifted a little to get comfortable, allowed himself to relax and closed his eyes. His lids glowed red for a second and his breathing seemed loud even to his own ears but as the red faded to black and the soothing smell of candle wax washed over him, he found a sense of familiar calm ebb it's way into his consciousness. It's serenity dampening a buzz of noise in his mind that he hadn't even realised existed until it was no longer there to distract him.

* * *

"Hello," Nick said, entering Sam's lab and giving both her and Mckay a small smile "everything all right?" 

Mckay gave him a sarcastic look as Sam nodded, tipping the screen of her laptop down so as to show Nick he had her full attention "what's up?"

Nick shrugged "just thought I'd drop by and see how things were going," glancing at Mckay he said "I take it I'm to assume that the answer to that question would be no,"

Sam bit back a laugh "yeah… the power requirements for Arthur's Mantle are so specific it's difficult to know what you use, a naquada generator would be sufficient but the outlet would almost definitely blow it up so… sorry," she shook her head "just thinking out loud,"

He smiled at her "you'll figure it out,"

The expression on her face screamed 'if you say so' but the smile that took it's place showed her gratitude at his faith in her.

Nick proceeded to study the device in front of him, only looking up when a shadow fell through the door "Daniel,"

"Hey," he seemed a little breathless and his eyes were bright.

"Everything okay?" Sam asked as he walked in.

"Yeah… Sam?" he pointed at her "and… Nick?"

They nodded in unison.

"And that's…" he frowned a little, looking at the man hunched over his laptop, tapping away at the keys.

"Doctor Rodney Mckay," Sam supplied for him, nothing that Mckay hadn't even looked up when she'd said his name "what've you been doing?"

"Huh?" Daniel looked at her "oh nothing," he said, looking at the textbook lying open on Sam's workbench with a curiosity that sent a shiver down her spine. The depiction of the Knights of the Round Table was black and white, and too detailed for it to be clear, Merlin standing tall and proud in a separate image.

"Do you recognise him?" Nick asked and Sam felt a surge of upset as he asked the question, the tone was calm and gentle, the sort you would use with a small child but the words themselves demanding in ways neither he nor Daniel could possible understand.

Daniel went to shake his head and then stopped, his eyes widened, darkening and filled with a chilled sense of fear and excitement rolled into one as the memories rushed back, harsh and real, Sam practically saw him stagger under the weight of it.

"Daniel…" she whispered but she could tell he wasn't listening, his face bore a far off expression and his hold on the book was so strong she could see the pages crumpling beneath his fingers. "Daniel!" she said a little louder, moving around the desk and touching his arm, he jumped but his hold on the book relinquished, sending it falling to the floor and leaving Nick to pick it up and place it on the desk.

Daniel's eyes darted around wildly and she moved a little so she was clearly in his line of sight and could provide him with a focal point "she's coming..."

"What?" Sam asked, completely confused.

"Adria… she knows where it is…" he frowned, hands flying to his temples as he stumbled back, barely suppressing a moan of pain.

Nick moved straight for the phone "Doctor Lam to Colonel Carter's lab ASAP,"

Sam took hold of Daniel's shoulders, almost grunting when his legs nearly buckled as she eased him into a chair. He leant onto her desk; arms wrapped his head as he sucked in heavy breaths through gritted teeth. Sam rubbed a gentle hand up and down his back, the muscles there tense and a dead give-away to the amount of pain he was in.

"Easy," Nick whispered, putting a glass of water on the desk in front of his grandson.

"She… ahh…"

"Relax," Sam said, "just… relax…"

It was dark, figures blurry as they moved in the dark, identifiable only by their voices_…_

_"You don't get fancy mind powers unless there's been major redecorating going on inside you skull!"_

"_We're loosing you…!"_

_"I have to Vala," _

_"No you don't, no one's forcing you, no one's making you do it. You're doing this all by yourself and it's killing you,"_

His vision shifted, moving in and out of focus, sending everything spinning on an axis and forcing him to swallow thickly against the mounting nausea twisting in his stomach.

_"No you don't! You don't have to do anything! You're just doing it because you think no one else will!"_

_"Well who else is going to huh?"_ his own voice was sharp and unreal against the rest, the nausea growing _"I don't see any volunteers!"_

_"Then I'll do it!"_

He could feel himself trembling and when he tried to stop it and couldn't, it intensified, he felt his stomach contracting and his breathing grow even more laboured. Someone tried to move his arms and he wanted to protest because it sent spirals of agony shooting through every muscle in his body but couldn't find the energy to say anything to stop them. Every nerve felt like it was on fire and someone was making a God-awful keening sound that he wanted more than anything to cease; it only grew even worse when he realised that he was the one responsible.

Something was pressed into his hands and when they continued to shake, someone else's fingers pressed over his own, steadying them at the same instant as something cool and wet was placed against the back of his neck. He opened his mouth to thank them but his stomach lurched violently and he was suddenly all the more grateful to whoever it was that had given him the bowl.

"Shh…" someone whispered gently "you're okay, just relax… deep breaths, that's it…"

His vision was swimming and he let whoever it was that was trying to take the bowl away do so without objection. He blinked a few times, and Carolyn's face came into focus, her fingers wrapped loosely around his wrists.

"Okay now?" she asked softly.

He nodded, then regretted it as it sent a stabbing pain through his head. Straightening, he looked up as Nick pressed the glass of water into his hand.

"Drink that," he said quietly.

"Slowly," Carolyn added "or you'll be sick again," she pressed two fingers to his wrist and looked at her watch.

Daniel did as he was told; the water was blissfully cool against his throat and it was tempting to just down it in one but even if he hadn't been warned against such an action he wasn't sure that his stomach would have been able to handle it. He looked around the room and was suitably surprised to see Mckay watching them with a look of abject concern on his face, Daniel smiled weakly at the other man and, placated, the astrophysicist went back to working, or at least pretending too whilst Carolyn proceeded in her examination.

Putting the now empty glass back on the desk he looked at the doctor "I'm fine," he assured her, alarmed at how breathless he still was.

"The jury's still out on that one Danny," Nick said "besides, you're shaking like a leaf and wheezing like an asthmatic chain-smoker who's just done a ten-mile hike,"

Daniel glared, "I'm fine," he repeated tersely.

Carolyn just shook her head, choosing to ignore him as she pulled out her stethoscope "lift you shirt up please,"

With a sigh he did so, refusing to flinch when the cold metal bit his skin "Vala!" he exclaimed as she appeared in the doorway.

Nick moved deftly around the desk, to stand between Vala and her husband "he's okay," he assured her and she gave him an incredulous look "really,"

She looked to Carolyn for confirmation; the dark-haired doctor got to her feet and hung her stethoscope around her neck as her patient let his shirt drop back down.

"Pulse is a little fast but that's understandable, other than that he's fine,"

Vala nodded, gravitating over to Daniel "what happened?"

"He was looking at the book," Sam explained "then…"

"Adria," he said suddenly "she knows where the San Graal is,"

Her blood ran cold, the San Graal; the cause of all of this, all the pain, the heartbreak and the loss. The whole reason Daniel had been stuck in a stasis chamber for three weeks.

Daniel looked at Sam "it needs to be finished,"

Sam opened her mouth to say something, anything, but she wasn't sure what. His expression was honest, almost cruelly so, and his tone was grave. She knew what he was saying without him having to vocalise it and she could see the desperation in his eyes as he silently pleaded with her to understand. The swollen pain of grief filled her chest as she nodded once in affirmation.

"What?" Vala asked, watching the exchange impatiently.

Daniel got to his feet, his legs shaking a little and he waited for the trembling to subside before moving, walking towards the door, he got no further than the middle of the room before Vala darted in front of him.

"What's going on?" she demanded.

"Daniel…" Carolyn started as she too realised what he wanted to do.

"I have too," he told her gently.

Vala's face fell; all the colour draining from her cheeks as the harsh brutality of betrayal filled her narrowing eyes "don't you dare," she hissed venomously "don't you even think about it,"

He gave her a sad look, words were unneeded and that, of all things, was what she hated the most, the fact that he didn't need to speak to tell her that he was leaving again. That he could just walk out without so much as an apology, not only that but _nobody_ seemed willing to stop him, not Nick, not Sam, not Carolyn, not Mckay as he sat in the corner, typing away on his laptop. None of them was even trying, all standing there in quiet acceptance of his self-sacramental decision to save the world but not himself.

"No!" she half-screamed "no way!"

"Vala…" he started.

"Don't you dare," she hissed slowly "don't you dare tell me that you have too or that you don't have a choice because you do. I will not just stand by and watch you nearly die all over again!" She didn't care about the failsafe, because Merlin was dead now, so there was no guarantee the failsafe even existed anymore, there was no guarantee he would survive and there was no way, in this galaxy or the next, she was willing to take that chance.

"I'm the only-"

"Stop it! Stop it, stop it! You are _not_ the only one! There are five other people in this room who are more than capable of using that device!"

Startled, Mckay looked up "I'm not-"

"Shut up," Sam said quickly, he glared at her.

"I've used it before Vala," Daniel said gently "I know what I'm doing,"

"Funny how you're only a team player when it suits you Daniel! But the _second_ something needs doing, the _second_ there's a life-and-death situation you practically start salivating at the thought of putting yourself in the firing line!"

"You're being ridiculous," he accused calmly.

"I'm being ridiculous? I'm not the one who has a death wish!"

"You can be so selfish sometimes!" he snapped.

"Do you two want to take this lover's spat elsewhere?" Mckay said coolly "some of us are trying to work,"

Everyone ignored him.

"I don't care Daniel!" her chest was hurting, and it felt like all the warmth in the room had been sucked out and she had never felt so fatigued in all her life.

_The floor was cold and ice-ridden beneath the thin dusting of snow. The flakes melting around her and soaking into her BDUs were sapping all the heat from her body; she gave a vague thought to hypothermia. Her hair was stiff with melted ice as it started to refreeze and her breath came out in misty clouds. Her throat felt raw and dry and her cheeks were numb as despite the fact the sobs had long since dissipated, tears were still falling; a strange warmth in the freezing Antarctic air. How could he be gone if he was less than five feet from her?_

Mentally shaking herself out of her reverie she became aware that everyone was staring at her, waiting with bated breath for the next verbal blow to land. She had resigned herself to the fact that he was gone and he wasn't coming back and then mere hours later he was standing right in front of her. A possibility that she had long since rejected and it had taken her a little while to accept yet now… now he wanted to put her through that all over again.

Hardening her gaze and clenching her fists she said "fine. You go ahead and use that stupid machine _Doctor Jackson_ but don't you _dare_ think I'll be waiting for you when you come back," there was a little clatter as something hit the floor and she left the lab without looking back.

Mckay found the abrupt quiet unsettling; the last time he had witnessed a silence so tense he'd been staring down a Genii weapon as Kolya told Sheppard that Elizabeth was dead. The silence that had fallen between that statement and Sheppard telling Kolya that he was going to kill him hadn't a patch on this. He opened his mouth to say something but Sam gave him a pointed look, which, for self-preservation purposes only, he heeded.

Nick was the first to move, stooping down to pick up whatever it was that Vala had dropped. The ring glittered in the light, the silence seemed to intensify – if that were even possible - and even Mckay had the good sense to stay quiet as the jarring reality of what had just happened descended on the room with as much finesse as a mark-five nuclear warhead.

_Author's Notes: That seemed a little disjointed to me… maybe I'm just thinking about it too much?… please review!_

_Next Chapter: Once the Earth shatters, it only makes sense if the sky is next to fall. The San Graal needs to be completed but to do so means loosing a member of the team. It makes sense for Daniel to finish what he started but the weight of what he would loose in the process is overwhelming and unless someone else offers the end result could be more devastating than anyone could possibly imagine._


	62. Wood Smoke and Moonshine

_Author's Notes: Okay, so this chapter just didn't work as planned, the 'next chapter' at the end of last chapter covers this and the one after, though mostly the next… we can call this a kind of interlude if you want… I started writing and this is what came out._

Chapter 62: Wood Smoke and Moonshine

Her whole hand felt strange, the ring hadn't been all that heavy but for some reason it's absence made it feel like her hand was completely off kilter. The smooth band of skin where the ring had been not ten minutes ago was chilled against the stable temperature of the air inside the mountain. She closed her other hand over it with a sluggish movement that was hard to register as her own.

Why does nothing ever go according to plan? Why does everything _always_ go wrong? Without fail, _something_ always happens to make _everything_ else change, a bump in the road, a fault in the generic ideology of the assumption that there is a reason for everything. If there're reasons then why were the 'reasons' always so negative? The universe works mathematically, so there should be positives as well as negatives; you can't always come out short.

But the problem with that is that whilst the universe may work in numbers, people don't. People can't be figured out, you can't study the science of a human being and say that no matter whom they are, or where they're from they will always react the same way to a specific stimulus. People run when they should stand still, cry when they should laugh and say and do stupid things that it's hard to forgive them for.

It doesn't take much to conclude that people hurt you, even when they don't mean too.

The knock on the door was tentative but not without cause, she ignored it, hoping that whoever it was would go away. There was a pause, and she held her breath, waiting to see whether or not it would continue, which of course it did, because if it hadn't then that would mean that something she wanted actually happened wouldn't it? Maybe she was spoiled; after so long getting precisely what she wished for, when she wished for it, she just couldn't adjust to things not going her way.

"Vala?"

The voice was muffled, but indubitably recognisable.

Sighing, she dragged herself off the end of the bed, her whole body felt stiff and her head like it was stuffed full of cotton wool, the disorientation she felt when she got to her feet made her wonder how long she'd been sat there.

She opened the door and looked at her father, a weary sort of patience tainting her features; he blinked at her, surprised.

"You've been crying!"

Vala raised a hand to her face, frowning a little when she felt the telltale wetness on her fingertips.

"What's wrong?" Jacek asked, genuine concern sounded odd on him, his usual gaudy smile had disappeared.

She stepped aside to let him in, figuring that he wouldn't leave until he'd said what he had to say and the only thing she felt up to right now was agreeing, without commitment, to everything the man said. The door closed with a soft thud and it was only then did her head start to pound a beat not unlike that of a marching band.

"Vala?" he prompted.

"What do you want Jacek?" she sighed, bone-weary with a fatigue she was all too familiar with, she shivered involuntarily and felt goose bumps prickle at her skin.

There's no 'it wasn't supposed to'. There's no 'what if's or 'if only's. There's no 'everything' and 'anything'. It's all or nothing, and it stupid, selfish and wrong. You can't _be_ somebody's 'everything' and 'everything' cannot fall apart. It doesn't work like that. You have numbers, percentages and pieces; nothing is whole. There's no everything because all you have is nothing.

_Nothing_ comes in one piece. _Nothing_ goes according to plan. _Nothing_ is the very essence of all that is. Without nothing, you can't have everything.

When it gets too much, and the pieces too many, you hide. Its given different names; escape, strategic retreat, 'going for help', regrouping, but all it really is, is hiding. Running for a sanctuary that may or may not exist. It can be a place, a time, a person but they're all the same. All a focal point in a universe that keeps on moving no matter the cost.

The world doesn't stop spinning, the sun still rises and the stars still pierce the night sky with a brutal intensity that makes you realise you have what you have, you get what you're given and all you can do about it is keep going.

You can keep running, keep pretending, you don't form attachments, relationships and you ignore the people who try to slow you down, it's the only way you can keep some semblance of pride when the galaxy is determined to rip it away from you. She'd accepted that but then _he'd_ come along, and changed everything.

Him with his blue eyes, brilliant smile, limitless determination and a personality to match none she had ever encountered before. He who wouldn't give in, who just kept _pushing_.

He made her stop, for the first time in too many years to count she'd given up running, standing breathless before him, enraptured by something she was unable to identify. Unwilling to deny the desire she harboured to know _more_, she got greedy. She wanted more than what she saw and that's when it had all gone wrong.

Kissing him had been stupid, wonderful, but stupid. Acting on impulse to try and get rid of the strange feeling it would take her months to identify hadn't worked; it had just made it worse.

Then when she'd come back and ended up staying with the SGC until the beachhead incident she'd been determined to keep a firm grasp on her old life, on what she'd had before. Simply being around him became enough; she wanted to know his friends, his family, his _life_. She wanted a part of that so badly it left her feeling open and vulnerable, so she morphed that want into a desire to bed him; turning him into another conquest. But she knew from the beginning that it was more than that.

Never before had she focussed so much of her attention on getting one thing, one man, if it didn't come easily then it wasn't worth it, working for something was pointless because it costs time, because then it starts to become _more._ And after everything else that had happened, the last thing she wanted was to be let down again, because _more_ inevitably becomes _less_.

How ridiculous must she have looked? Waiting for him to come back, turning into a shell of the woman she had once been all over one person, one man, _one_ fish in an ocean of thousands.

It should have been easy to be angry, to hate him, once upon a time she could have done it without having to think… when had it become such a fight?

The tears came hard and fast, the sobs following with equal intensity. A cruel ache seeping its way into every crack, fissure and laceration it could find, her entire body was convulsing with the effort to retain some sort of control.

She barely noticed Jacek putting a blanket around her shoulders and made no protest when his arms followed suit, tugging her into an embrace she was too tired to fight. He smelt like wood smoke and moonshine, a strange combination that was overwhelmingly familiar, and she was hit with a new wave of emotion, only this time of nostalgia and the sensation of feeling completely lost as she tried to search for something that may never have existed.

_Her eyes flickered open and she raised one sleepy hand to her face, brushing aside her hair as she sat up and looked around the room. Her gaze settling on the figure sat in the chair at the end of the bed, his head pillowed on his arms that were curled on the mattress in front of him._

_Pushing back the heavy blankets she wriggled free of their confinement and scrambled down the bed with such enthusiasm she nearly fell off. "Daddy," she whispered, coming to a halt by her father's sleeping form and kneeling there expectantly "daddy… wake up," she shook his shoulder clumsily and it took several minutes for him to stir._

"_Hmm…" he groaned softly, straightening, his neck cracking loudly in the process, squinting a moment before his eyes widened "sweetheart!" _

_He'd barely had time to open his arms before she had flung herself at him with an equally delighted cry of "daddy!"_

"_You should be asleep," he chided, a ritual that had been set for as long as she could remember._

_She ignored the comment "you were gone ages,"_

_He settled his daughter into his lap, and she leaned against his chest, contented but the expression on her face one that he could barely suppress his laughter at; she looked so much like her mother when she did that. "I know baby, I'm sorry," _

He hadn't been. He never was, she'd known that then and she knew that now, Jacek didn't feel sorry, whether he was incapable of the emotion or whether or not he just chose not to feel it she didn't know.

Maybe she never had been innocent; maybe she'd never been blessed with such naivety. But is it really a blessing to be blind?

Jaffa patrols were something she had been aware to watch out for since she'd been old enough to recognise them, the Goau'ld had always been breathing down the necks of her people and yet that hadn't stopped him. Jacek did as he pleased, bartering, swindling and stealing from whoever he could and for the longest time all she'd wanted to do was go with him.

"_You can't come with me Vala,"  
_

"_Why not?" the eight-year old glared at him, chin jutting out in the universal gesture of defiance._

"_It's too dangerous honey," he crouched down in front her, taking her tiny hands in his much bigger ones; he looked hurt when she pulled away._

"_Then why are _you_ going?"_

"_I'm a grown up Vala, it's not dangerous for me," _

_The planet he had in mind was in fact pretty harmless. A little garish and it's nightlife was probably too vibrant for a little girl to see but the child had seen hooker's before; there were at least three in this village alone, and on Meronet there had been an entire brothel. _

_But he had learnt over the years that even the most genteel planets have dangers lurking the corners, the proverbial skeletons in the closet that the small-minded little governments don't want the general population to know about, never mind curious travellers. _

_She stamped her foot "I want to go!"_

"_I'm sorry honey," he cooed as he got to his feet "not today,"_

"_Then you stay!"  
_

_He ignored her, picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder, heading for the door._

"_I'll tell mommy about that woman," she threatened._

_He turned "Vala…" _

"_I will! I'll tell her and… and…" _

_And what? What would happen next? Nothing most likely. Her mother was a smart woman and she knew that their were others, that her husband was less than entirely faithful but she still held the ridiculous notion that deep down, Jacek loved her. Even at eight Vala could see that, that wasn't true, that the only person her father was capable of loving was himself._

_A flurry of emotions flitted across Jacek's face before disappearing again "I'll see you in a week or so," he gave her an encouraging smile; it was almost as if he hadn't heard her threat "love you," he clicked his tongue and pointed at his daughter._

_She glared at him, refusing to return the gesture. Jacek sighed quietly and left without another word._

But then there was Daniel, who was there no matter what, when the dust cleared and the galaxy had pulled through by the skin of it's teeth once again, there he was, standing there watching, waiting but _never_ leaving.

Jacek had left every time. Her mother had died shortly after her seventeenth birthday and in the six years that followed there had been woman after woman warming her father's bed, some last as long as a few months, others lasting no more than the night. In the end they all left too.

Now, Daniel wanted to leave too, he'd stayed just long enough for her to relax enough for it to become that 'something more'. Every other time she'd had walls, a sanctuary that she could retreat too, Daniel had become that sanctuary and if he left too then what would remain for her to turn too?

_Author's Notes: No 'next chapter' this time because the one in the last chapter covers it. :P _


	63. From the Silence

_Author's Notes: Hmm… well enjoy…_

Chapter 63: From the Silence

"What are the chances of the failsafe still being in place?" Landry asked, surveying the group in front of his desk carefully.

"You can't seriously be considering this General!" Nick exclaimed hotly.

"There's no way to know for sure sir," Sam replied honestly.

"Sam!" Nick interjected.

"Stay out of this Nick," Daniel said, expression tense and eyes hard as if he were studiously attempting to forget what Vala had done.

Because that was the stupidest thing of all wasn't it? You spend your entire life wishing you could forget things. That you hadn't said or heard something that mere seconds later you regret. Then there's amnesia; quite literally giving you a whole new slate. You can be whoever you want to be only you don't have to go through the petty details like growing up first. It's ironic that the moment you forget everything you wished you could, you want it all back just so you can wish it gone again.

"It has nothing to do with you,"

"Of course it does Daniel; I'm the one who told you where the damn device was in the first place! I'm not just going to stand here whilst you make the same mistakes all over again!"

"If we don't finish the San Graal then Adria gets it – if that happens it really doesn't matter who did what to who because we'll all be dead anyway!"

"So what?" he challenged "you want to beat her to the punch? Kill yourself before she kills you?"

"You're as bad as Vala!"

Landry watched incredulously, as a flurry of words and exclamations were fired haphazardly across the room. Righteous cries of indignation raising the noise level to almost unbearable proportions.

"General," one sharp accented voice floated above the rest and, consequently, sent the room spiralling into quiet.

"Vala," Sam said, nearly reaching for her friend but deciding against it a moment later.

Vala ignored the blonde, stared right passed Nick and Daniel and fixed her gaze on Landry.

"Yes Vala," the General said softly.

"I would like to volunteer to use Merlin's device,"

"What?" Daniel looked at her in horror then whirled around the face the man his wife was addressing "no!"

"Thank you," Landry said heavily, weighing his words and pointedly ignoring the gaping archaeologist "I'll take that into consideration,"

She nodded curtly and left.

Nick looked aghast at the General "are you _all_ insane?"

* * *

"Hey!" Nick called after her, running to catch up "hey!" 

Vala paused but did not turn around.

"What was all that about?" he demanded as he caught up with her.

She spun round "excuse me?"

"In there!" he pointed down the hall "what on _Earth_ do you think you were doing?"

"The right thing," she answered tersely.

"You don't even know if the failsafe will work,"

"Neither does anyone else,"

"That's not the point!"

"Then what is? Someone needs to do it,"

"Not you!"

"Why not? Adria's my daughter; surely that makes me both qualified and responsible."

"My _God,_" Nick breathed, utterly amazed "are you serious?"

Her expression said she was.

"What are you trying to prove Vala?" he cried "that you can be just as stupid as he can? Is it some sort of pissing contest between you?"

"Go away Nick,"

He caught her arm as she went to walk away "Vala…"

"Let go of me," she warned, voice low "right now,"

He seemed to get visibly bolder "no,"

"Nick,"

"No. I won't. Because the second I do, round three begins and you know what? He doesn't deserve that. None of them do."

"You have no-"

"No Vala, _you _don't. You don't know what will happen, you don't know if you'll survive and more importantly you'd like everyone else to believe that you don't care about that. That you can become little-miss-wild-child all over again. Well guess what sweetheart, it doesn't work like that, the only damn reason that you want to do this is because you think it'll hurt less when things go wrong. You think that because Daniel put you through it, you've got the right to do the same thing to him but you don't.

"The universe is a horrible place, it's cruel, it's messy and it kills you in the end but you have to face up to it, you can't just run away when things get tough. You fell in love Vala, so did he, now you both have to pay the price. This isn't some game that you can stop playing, there's no 'get out of jail free card', there's no 'three strikes and you're out'.

"You can't just take the good and not the bad. Loving someone means that you get hurt. It means that every so often they break you because they're the only one that can. It means that at the end of the day, when the whole world's gone to hell, they're still standing there, trying to bait you into another pointless argument." He gave her a desperate look, "if love doesn't hurt, you're not doing it right." Taking a deep breath, he watched her carefully.

Her eyes narrowed "don't patronise me; you haven't got the faintest idea what's going through my head, and I can't believe you're egotistical enough to think you do,"

Nick bit back a groan of disbelief.

"Having the knowledge downloaded _hurts,_" he said quietly, voiced laced with earnest "at first it's painless; like a gateway's been opened, things just start to _make sense._ But that's just the first taste; you want more, you _need_ more but the gateway isn't big enough so entire walls start crumbling and you don't care because it just feels so _good_.

"After a while you start feeling dizzy and sick, you open your eyes but all you can see is black, sporadic flashes of colours so bright it's like white hot knives in your head. Things become vague, you become unsure, simple questions take too long to answer, your name, your daughter's face… it all becomes hazy and a part of you starts fighting back but it's useless because you can't possibly win. The information just keeps coming and coming and you can't help but ask for more, which is ridiculous because none of it even means anything to you and everything that ever did is slowly being erased.

"You're an intruder in your own body but there's no way out, no way to close the floodgates, _it just keeps coming_," he paused, "and there is _nothing_ you can do about it."

Vala looked pale and Nick was hopeful that he'd gotten through to her, those hopes were soon dashed, he continued in a calmer tone "don't make Daniel watch you go through that, don't make him watch you die,"

She swallowed thickly but spoke perfectly evenly "Daniel deserves everything he gets," she said, her voice was soft but full of venom.

All Nick could do then was watch helplessly as she walked away.

* * *

The familiar whoosh of the wormhole forming filled the 'gate room yet Sam could not tear her eyes away from Daniel and Vala, glancing from one to the other in a motion so repetitive it was starting to make her dizzy. Vala was right. It wasn't fair. But it was Daniel's decision to make not anyone else's, if he wanted to take the risk then no one had the right to stop him. 

As far as she knew no conclusive decision had been made as to who exactly would be using the device; it was just assumed that Daniel would be the one to do it because he was the most adamant. She could volunteer. Maybe she should have. But what would that achieve?

Every time they stepped through the event horizon she knew that there was always the possibility that one of them wouldn't make it back. It had happened more times than she wanted to count and less times than probably should have had the odds not always been miraculously in their favour. This time it was different though. This time one of them definitely wouldn't return but knowing it and it being a fathomable possibility were two totally different things.

You fight back, you give it all you've got and them some more, you keep firing even when you're gun's empty and you're more exhausted than you've ever been in your life. No matter what you _keep fighting_. You don't give up, you never give up. Nobody should have to walk knowingly to their death.

In the end it wouldn't matter who had volunteered; it would be a straight up race from the 'gate and the grand prize would be nothing short of agony.

Taking a deep breath Sam shifted her hold on her P-90 and walked up the 'gate ramp, the metal grating rattling beneath her feet as she headed for the Stargate. Closing her eyes and swallowing against the dull ache of dread that was tugging at every bone in her body she took a step forward. _On your marks…_ _get set,_ she thought acerbically, _go!_

* * *

The cave looked different to the way they had left it, the science team that had worked so tirelessly had returned to the SGC shortly before their departure along with the SG team assigned to them. They had been meticulous; that much was obvious, and had tidied up after themselves as best they could but the evidence that they had been there was obvious to any and all. 

The layer of dust that had blanketed everything had been viciously disturbed, compartments in the walls that they had not noticed before were left ajar, and footprints covered the floor in a disarray that was impossible to track. She jumped as the silence was broken by something splintering underfoot; she let out a sigh when she found that it was merely an abandoned pen.

Cam opened his mouth to say something but when every one turned to look at him, his confidence seemed to dissipate.

After an uncomfortable pause Vala started towards Merlin's device, only to have her path blocked by Teal'c, standing immovable in front of it, brown eyes silently pleading her to think it through.

"Teal'c…" she said tiredly "please,"

Teal'c looked at her, expression solemn as he sought her eyes out with his own, a moment later he relented, nodding as he stepped aside.

"No!" Daniel rushed forwards, catching Vala's arm and pulling her back.

She struggled against him, pulling herself free and pushing him, he stumbled back a few steps as she went towards the device again.

"Dammit Vala, don't do this,"

Vala turned on him "what, so you can?"

He gave her a despairing look "please Vala," he begged "please just-"

"Please just what?" she said snidely "please just watch you die? Sorry Daniel, the answer's no. I'm not doing that again," another step, she was less than two feet from it now, one more step and it wouldn't matter.

"I am not going to let you use that thing!" he shouted, moving forwards and pulling her back again, spinning them so she was the farther away.

"Why not?" she hissed vehemently, "are you jealous that someone else wants to do the suicide run instead of you?"

He gave her an astonished look, going to turn away but looking back at her instead "you really think that I _want_ to do this?"

"You're not exactly giving anybody the 'no' vibe here Daniel!"

"This isn't about me Vala!" he exclaimed, "it isn't about you either, if you'd open your eyes for a minute you'd see that,"

Vala gave a dry laugh "you are unbelievable," she muttered, "absolutely unbelievable,"

"What difference would it make huh?" he challenged "whether it were you or me? How is that any different?"

She was silent, glaring at him, and grateful that no one else had tried to intervene.

"I don't… I barely remember _anything_ and yet the thought of…of-"

"Don't play that card Daniel,"

"You know who you are!" the way he said it sounded almost accusing "I don't, if this goes wrong, if using that device does kill one of us, isn't it better for me to… you're a whole person Vala. At least if-"

"You really do have a death wish don't you? It's not just a rumour! It's _true_! You actually want to die!"

"What? No! For…" she went to dart passed him and he stopped her for the third time "will you listen to me?"

"No,"

Nick watched as the couple stared at each other defiantly, both trying to out-stubborn the other and neither succeeding as they both refused to succumb to the inevitable fact that one of them would have to surrender. He glanced at Teal'c was stood not-to-far from the duo, as if bracing himself for breaking up a fistfight. Mitchell was still stood somewhere near the entrance, expression stoic but his eyes betraying him as they filled with sheer desperation. And Sam was clutching her P-90 as if her life depended on it; she was fighting tears and for a moment, he contemplated trying to comfort her but at the last second he thought better of it.

He looked to the device on the wall, staring at it intently as he calculated the distance between it and him. Sensing someone staring at his back and he turned to see Sam watching him, she seemed to be shaking but that could have been a trick of the too-dim lights. Nodding once at her, he turned back, rushing for the device before anyone could say or do anything about it.

As the hands closed around the back of his head and a multitude of bright lights burned at his retinas he heard a series of indignant shouts and cries of horror, feet pounding at the floor as they ran towards him. A loud hum filled his ears and he braced his hands against the wall, resisting the overwhelming urge to try and pull back, as the shouts faded to nothing and he slipped into an oblivion that was far from peaceful.

_Author's Notes: There we go! Please review!_

_I know I didn't put a 'next chapter' last chapter but that was because of the one before it, however there won't be one this time either because I can't actually think of one – sorry :P._


	64. Default Setting

_Disclaimer: Pieces of the script from 'The Shroud' are in this chapter. It isn't mine, it belongs to MGM and… well other really important people._

Chapter 64: Default Setting

The machine buzzed and hummed and in reality the sound wasn't really all that irksome, in fact it would not have been daring to say that it was pleasant; soft and melodic - it would have been easy to loose yourself in the throes of calm it induced.

Only that was all theoretical; when you have a bad experience with something you tend to feel some sense of unease when in close proximity with it again

To her the rumble of the machine was a brazen reminder of loneliness and immeasurable loss. Of floating lost in a sea she did not recognise without anything to navigate with. She glanced pointlessly at her watch – it didn't matter what time it said because they wouldn't leave until the download was complete and who knew how long that would take?

Daniel was sat on the bench by Merlin's table, hands folded neatly in front of him as he leant forwards onto his knees to watch Nick as he stood braced against the wall, the device wrapped around his head. The half-finished San Graal was exactly where they had left it and the air above it was lit up, glowing a soft gold as the molecules bound together to finish a weapon that would ultimately destroy the Ori – or at least that's what they hoped.

She shifted her position, feet scuffing the dust-ridden floor ad causing everyone to turn to stare at her save for Daniel; for some reason that hurt.

A moment later Nick gasped and stumbled back. The action seemingly jerking everyone else into movement as well. Daniel dashed forwards, seizing his grandfather's arm and steadying him as he stumbled.

"Nick?" Sam asked carefully.

Bright eyes stared at her "you are beautiful my dear," he said softly, trailing off into a barely audible whisper "so very beautiful,"

She smiled sadly.

"Nick… are you…?" Daniel trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

Nick turned, placing his hands on Daniel's shoulders, smiling "you are a good man Doctor Jackson," his voice was hoarse and distant – _Merlin's voice_ – as he gave him a swift nod of approval and staggered back to the machine. Nick turned, a step out of reach of the device "the worst is yet to come," he announced, turning back and resuming his use of the device once more.

* * *

Three cycles. That's how long it had taken Daniel to get as far as he had. Nick was on the fourth now. 

Should be over soon.

Vala glanced at Daniel, a reflex reaction more than anythin else and was pained to see the tight expression on his face. Lips pressed tightly together and jaw set in a line of fierce determination. She swallowed; each break had been a brief relief for Nick but a slow torture for everyone else, as he became less and less aware of who he, and the others, were. And despite the fact that they had all been far too aware of what would happen it had still hurt.

Nick had been the estranged, crazy Dutch grandfather what felt like a lifetime ago, then he'd come back, brand new and with a whole new cause. Rapidly forced to become the mediator and a voice of reason that it was impossible not to rely on.

So much the case that the hatred had been vicious and strong when he had first allowed Daniel to use this device. It had never occurred to them that Nick was still human. That he still made mistakes… still deserved forgiveness. It had been all to easy to look at him and regard him as some sort of all-knowing, all-foreseeing, spectre. To say with a naivety that was too immature, and too childish to label that he could do no wrong, for how could he? He'd been _Nick._

As real and brash as the Asguard admitting momentary defeat to Adria and her troops, just as terrifying, just as Earth shattering. Like the carpet being pulled from beneath your feet as you run to keep up with everyone else. They – including Daniel – seemed to forget that Nick was easily absorbed; he got pulled in so far by his work, his cause, _his reason_ that he forgot about everything else, it all just became whispers in the background of a riot.

And in time, he had started to climb back up again, aiming for a pedestal far lower than the one his friends had put him on before but a pedestal all the same. Was it an ingrained behaviour that if someone is older than you – and the same species – you immediately set your standards ten times higher for them than for anybody else?

The man was a walking, talking scientific anomaly. He was all wrong. He'd been in his eighties when he had gone to P7X 377 and it had been nearly nine years since he'd first gone. By rights if he wasn't already dead he would have been soon. Only that alien, Quetzalcoatl, had changed everything. Altered his physiology so as to hide knowledge that he should never have obtained in the first place.

You can't just take forty years off of someone's life to hide a secret that you gave them. There was no telling what the long term side affects of it would be – Nick had already expressed his concerns about using that device the first time. The knowledge had been too much for Daniel, Nick already had an entire database of knowledge about the Giant Aliens, add Merlin's memories to the mix…

Sam and Mitchell shared twin looks of surprise as the sound of the 'gate activating roared through the cave, echoing off the walls of the lab.

"Vala stay here with Nick," Cam ordered as he watched her deftly slip the safety off her P-90.

No sooner than the command had been uttered the familiar clatter of metal armour smashing against itself followed that of the Kawoosh and the remaining four members of the team went outside, bracing themselves for the fight that would inevitably follow.

* * *

"Hold your fire," Adria said with the air of a woman confident in her abilities. 

The troops stood down; their weapons lowering a fraction of an inch as SG1 came into view.

"Doctor Jackson," she cooed sickeningly as the wormhole closed "how're you feeling?"

His eyes narrowed "fine," he answered tersely.

She nodded "and mother?" noticing his expression alter slightly she continued "how about little Lexy?"

Barely a second passed before he brought his P-90 to his chest and pulled the trigger, unleashing a spurt of bullets that bounced uselessly off the Orisi's shield.

Adria smirked, glancing from one member of the team to the other, their expressions bore no look of surprise at the outburst but neither had they proceeded to fire on her. With a dramatic wave of her arm Daniel flew backwards into the wall, the submachine gun clattering to the floor several feet away.

"Daniel!" Sam cried, going to rush to help him as he slid to the floor with a barely audible noise of pain.

"Don't!" Adria snapped, Sam whirled around to look at her "move," she finished sweetly, once she was sure Sam wasn't going anywhere she swept over to where Daniel had fallen.

She smiled a little in mock sympathy as he tried to push himself to a sitting position but failing as a wave of dizziness swept over him, forcing him back down. When the vertigo passed and he tried again Adria stilled his movements by pressing her palm to his forehead; her hand was warm which for some reason was surprising.

There were several clicks which from the sounds of it were the other three preparing to fire on her but a shout from one of the soldiers and the buzz of their weapons arming paused any action the rest of the team were planning on making.

Several seconds passed and Adria pulled away, grinning as she stood up again, gracefully unfurling like some sort of malicious cat. Daniel scrambled to follow.

"Your memory seems some what lacking Doctor Jackson," she stated softly, her tone serious but her expression mocking.

"Having an Ancient downloaded into your brain kinda does that you,"

She raised a perfect eyebrow "touché," she replied, then "however I'm not sure it entails fighting with my mother – although I can see you enjoyed your fill of her first,"

Daniel opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a string of gunfire ricocheting off of his adversary's personal shield, no sooner had the clip finished than Adria flew back, landing in an ungainly heap at the feet of one of the Priors.

He looked to the cave entrance and saw Vala standing there, P-90 raised and her chest heaving with exhilaration, Nick next to her, eyes dark and his entire body tense and humming with something that Daniel both remembered and a part of him yearned for a moment to feel again.

Vala avoided his eyes and looked intently at Nick as he said something to her, with a swift half-nod she disappeared back into the cave.

As Adria got to her feet again Nick slowly made his way towards the Orisi, he looked stronger than Daniel had, Sam was sure of that and had it not been for the situation being so dire she would have started trying to figure out why.

Adria smirked; "did dear Daniel fail?"

Nick stopped "leave them alone Adria," he warned, eyes flashing dangerously.

She raised her hand, a ball of red light forming in her hand as any patience the team had left was lost and bullets rained down upon her. They knew it wouldn't kill her but there was always the possibility it would distract her long enough too… long enough to do what?

The light fired towards Nick and he raised his hands in defence, the blue force field that Daniel had managed to conjure in the 'gate room mere weeks ago sprung to life in front of him.

"You will not win," Adria assured him.

Sweat was beading at his temples, his fringe plastered to his forehead as he sank to his knees, his chest heaved, rattling as if unaccustomed to the process of breathing; the field flickered but did not falter.

The soldiers were rushing forwards, every third of fourth man falling as a lucky shot pierced the armour in the right place or managed to avoid the metal all together and embedded itself in the warrior's flesh.

"Where's Vala?" Cam shouted over the din, throwing himself behind the obelisk to reload.

Sam fell behind the DHD "inside the lab,"

Cam nodded, peering out from behind the obelisk and setting loose another round "there's too many of them – we're gonna have to fall back!"

Sam looked at him, his expression that of a man trying his hardest not to accept defeat when that was all that was on offer. She nodded her agreement and was about to pass the message to Teal'c but he wasn't where she'd thought he was, "Teal'c?" she called out, eyes scanning the melee in front of them. "Daniel?"

"There," Cam jerked his head in Adria and Nick's direction.

The force field Nick had conjured was fading, and even from this distance Sam could see he wasn't far behind.

"What the hell are they doing?" Cam snapped "Jackson! Teal'c get back here!"

The field collapsed and not a second later Daniel had thrown himself bodily, at Adria, the Orisi fell, her own attack disappearing instantly, some of the soldiers started firing on them as well as Teal'c lifted Nick to his feet. The man staggered but regained his footing; he looked weak, too weak.

"Dial the 'gate!" Nick called over.

Sam stared at him but another round from Mitchell's weapon had her scrambling to obey, punching in the co-ordinates so fast it was a wonder she'd even hit them at all.

"Cam!" she cried as he yelled in pain, falling behind the obelisk again.

His P-90 fell into his lap as his hand flew to clasp his upper arm tightly, fingers digging into the fabric as his breath hissed through clenched teeth. The blast had hit him in the shoulder, the fabric was charred and burnt, blood dark and matting as it flowed freely from the gaping wound.

Standing straight behind the DHD she raised her P-90 to her shoulder again, finger curling around the trigger and feeling the familiar shudder of the gun as it fired at the remaining soldiers, there weren't a great deal left. To begin with there was probably just short of sixty but the Prior's were standing stoically at the back, staffs raised in waiting.

"Go!" Nick snapped; the force field had risen again; Adria had resumed her attack within moments of it stopping, she did not seem interested in Daniel and Teal'c and had not attempted to do anything about them.

Vala emerged from the cave, pack in her hands and it was all Nick could do to stop Adria from turning her assault on her mother.

Teal'c ran over to her, taking her arm and making for the 'gate as Sam tapped the IDC into her GDO and sent it through.

"We can't just leave you!" Daniel said to his grandfather as Teal'c pushed Vala through the 'gate before following himself and Sam went to help Mitchell.

The firing had all but ceased and only sporadic shots had need to be fired as the duo made for the 'gate.

"Go Daniel!" Nick hissed.

"Follow them!" Adria ordered the remaining soldiers, they nodded and jogged through the open wormhole.

Nick gave a sigh of impatience, wincing as he moved one hand away from the force field leaving the other to try and maintain it as with a flick of his wrist he sent Daniel flying through the 'gate.

* * *

Sam and Mitchell rushed down the 'gate ramp, heads down as the airmen stationed at the bottom fired at them, the thuds and crashes that accompanied the gunshots were presumably the Ori soldiers that had followed them meeting their untimely demise. 

The soldiers stopped pouring through and Daniel hit the 'gate ramp, instinctively curling into a ball, arms wrapped around his head a the gunfire continued for several seconds, the bullets making an odd popping noise as they zipped through the event horizon.

"Close the iris!" Landry's voice could be heard over the intercom.

"No!" Daniel jumped to his feet, as the gunfire stopped "not yet!"

"Doctor Jackson!" the General cried indignantly "we don't-"

"Just wait!"

There was no reply.

"Sir?" Walter prompted.

"Five seconds," was all Landry said, even as another wave of soldiers came through the 'gate, falling off the 'gate ramp as the shots reached their targets.

Nick tumbled through the event horizon as if on cue, the second he hit the ramp the iris closed and the room was plunged into silence save for the _thud, thud, thud_ of bodies hitting the other side of the trinium-titanium shield.

* * *

"I'm fine," he assured Carolyn as she checked his IV and her eyes darted every few seconds to his shoulder. 

The wound had not been serious, painful yes, but not half as bad, as the blood would have had one believe. Once it had been cleaned – which actually hurt more than getting shot in the first place – the nature of the injury had been processed, accepted and stored away in the category of 'flesh wound' and therefore as far as he was concerned there was nothing wrong with him.

"That's insane!" Beckett exclaimed, rudely snapping the couple out of their reverie and forcing them to avert eye contact.

"What is?" Cam asked with a sigh.

"I have a plan," Nick announced as they both approached the bed, Sam and Teal'c emerging from their own cubicles as their post mission physicals were completed, Daniel was stood in the background, if he had noticed Vala shooting him intermediate looks he didn't care.

"What you or Merlin?"

Nick smiled, he looked pale but only if you studied him, other than that… well he was in far better health than Daniel had been when he'd been in the same position. "I'm Nick,"

"How?" Carolyn demanded "I mean of course I'm glad you're okay but…?"

He sighed "there are two possible answers," he answered "it could be either one of them,"

"And they are…?" Cam prompted impatiently.

"Either," he sighed "because the process was stopped halfway through, or because Daniel had not given in,"

"Merlin was the one in control," Carolyn countered "that surely-"

"Ah," Nick raised his hand to quiet her "Merlin was in control because he had to protect Daniel from harm, from _himself_. For the most part he had surrendered but there was still a part of him holding onto something he couldn't let go of,"

"Right here," Daniel announced pointedly, raising his hand to mimic his sarcastic tone.

"It doesn't matter. What does matter is what we do next,"

"You said you have a plan?" Landry said, steering the impromptu briefing back on track, he'd already been told the basics of what had happened on the planet, as Cam's injury had been dressed but this plan that Beckett had taken exception too? He hadn't heard a word of that yet.

"There's an Ori ship near the Supergate. We go to a planet in close by and ring aboard from there we dial through to the Ori galaxy. The Odyssey then beams Merlin's weapon through,"

"You want us to infiltrate an Ori ship?" Cam said incredulously "whilst it's in orbit? Filled with Ori soldiers? Oh and not to mention Adria'll probably be on her way there right now? Well that's a suicide mission if I ever heard one,"

"It will be difficult…" Nick conceded.

"Try down right impossible!" Vala cut in "how are we supposed to get on board? The shields will be up for sure, not to mention the fact that the Supergate is already active-"

"So we use a mark nine to shut down the wormhole so we can dial through," he replied, off everyone's shocked expressions. "If it's beamed directly behind the 'gate in the Pegasus galaxy it will destroy that 'gate – we can then dial through to the Ori galaxy and send the San Graal through,"

Landry turned to Sam "Carter?"

She nodded slowly "a mark nine 'gate buster beamed directly behind the event horizon so the force won't be absorbed by the active wormhole… would destroy the 'gate and sever the connection."

The General nodded "can you pull it off?" he looked at each member of the team in turn, slowly, each of them nodded, whether certain or not, it didn't matter, after everything, it was certainly worth a try "then you have a go,"

_Author's Notes: End of chapter 64 :P _

_Next Chapter: So they have a plan; they have a team; and they have a weapon but time isn't on their side, and neither, it would seem, are the IOA…_


	65. Of Neverland & Kryptonite

_Disclaimer: I guess I should make a point of saying that I don't own Peter Pan or Superman. I should also point out that the most I've seen of Superman is the last hour of 'Superman Returns' (Lex Luthor made me laugh… I dunno why!) and one episode of 'Smallville'. It fits, that's the only reason I used it. Also, the script from 'The Shroud' is not mine._

_Author's Notes: I made it a few weeks ago but... I've made a 'trailer' for this fiction, there are two links on my profile page – at the bottom – they both lead to the same thing, it's just hosted in two different places. Please watch and let me know what you thought :)_

Chapter 65: Of Neverland & Kryptonite

"No," Carolyn said resolutely, moving away from Cam's bed and busying herself with the tray of medical supplies on the trolley behind her.

"I have to go," he said, trying to keep the pleading note from his voice "this mission-"

"You are not fit to go through that 'gate Cameron," she snapped, turning around, a needle in her hand, the top glinted in the light and in any other situation he might have found it comically scary. "The drugs you're on, never mind the actual _pain_ is enough for any unqualified person to refuse to let you anywhere near a loaded gun, never mind into the field,"

"So take me off the drugs doc, I'll be fine,"

Her eyes narrowed but she didn't say anything, going back to sorting through the supplies.

Cam was silent for a moment, before he slowly moved his hand to tug at her lab coat gently "hey," he tapped her leg through the fabric "Carolyn," he said softly, and she turned "look… I'm sorry,"

Carolyn nodded, letting him twine their fingers together loosely and trace a pattern on the back of her hand with his thumb "I know you want to go," she said after a moment "but I can't let you – and even if I said yes, General Landry wouldn't,"

He glanced at her then back at their linked hands, sighing and nodding defeatedly "I know," he breathed.

* * *

Landry put the phone back in its cradle, looking at Jack after a moment's silence "Cam can't lead the mission," he announced. 

"We knew that,"

He smiled at his friend's bluntness and the amicable pause that followed was filled with the calm buzz of anticipation and a sense of anxiety Jack hadn't felt since leaving the SGC for Washington two years ago.

"General Landry, General O'Neill," a shadow fell across the doorway, a small shadow, but a shadow none the less.

Jack craned his neck to eye the man standing in the doorway, well if today couldn't get any better… "Woolsey,"

Briefcase in hand, Woolsey stepped purposefully into the room, closing the door behind him, all with the carefully measured movements of a man who had never seen real action and was never likely to either.

"Closing the door…" Jack said slowly "last person to do that broke up with me,"

Woolsey gave him a terse look, turning to Landry in light of the other man's impertinence "I'm here on the behalf of the IOA,"

* * *

"Stop hovering Daniel!" Nick snapped as he flitted around the room, picking up pens, pencils and various other pieces of equipment, pausing once to give an artefact on the shelf by the door a funny look before shrugging and moving on, seizing handfuls of paper from the desk. 

"Nick…"

He stopped for a moment "I'm fine," he assured the other man, then after a pause "come on,"

Daniel frowned but Nick had already taken off, rushing down the corridor as if there was a fire on his tail; he had to jog to keep up as his grandfather darted into the elevator, arms laden haphazardly with the equipment he had just grabbed.

"What're you doing Nick?"

Nick said nothing as they entered his quarters, depositing his cargo on the bed and spreading it out, plucking a sheet of paper from the pile he went over to the nearest wall, put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small pot of tacks. "Do you think General Landry would mind if I… never mind," he trailed off, proceeding to pin the paper to the wall.

"Nick,"

He hummed to himself as he picked up a pencil and a ruler, putting a marker pen between his teeth as he started sketching something on to the paper.

"Nick," Daniel prompted again.

Taking the pen from his mouth he turned his head "how's the memory?"

Daniel gave him an odd look "coming back… slowly,"

Nick nodded, going back to drawing "then I presume you recall exactly how much you've put Vala through since she fell pregnant,"

There was no reply.

"Daniel?" he turned around, fixing his attention on his grandson.

"I don't know… some of it… all of it – how am I supposed to know?"

"She's your wife,"

"Was," Daniel corrected "_was_ my wife,"

"No," Nick said purposefully "she still is,"

"What do you want me to do?" he exclaimed; "go tell her I'm sorry?"

"It would be a start,"

"And only effective if I actually meant it," he retorted, because he wasn't was he? Sorry that is. There was nothing to be sorry for.

Nick frowned; it was the sort of expression that make you second guess yourself, rethink everything. Disapproval evident but with an underlying tone that made you want to regain that approval if it was the last thing you did.

Rethink, regain, and redo. Repeating the process again and again until you get it right. Pathways that should be clear of all debris aren't, decisions that should be made in the blink of an eye take forever to figure out. Nothing that should be clear is, and everything that shouldn't be is as bright and shining as the imaginary haven of Neverland. _Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning. _If only it were that easy.

He hadn't had a choice. He had, had to use Merlin's device; there'd been nothing else to do. The San Graal was all that mattered. It was all that _could _matter. Without it they were as good as dead. The Ori couldn't be defeated; they were more united than the Goau'ld, stronger than the Replicators and more inclined to do something than the Ancients.

Every day the Ori were still around, was another that millions of people spent in fear. So yeah, he'd turned his back on her, he'd said goodbye to his friends and he kept going because there was no other option. He'd done it to save them, if he'd said no, if he'd stayed with Vala, if he'd played the coward then they could all be dead by now; needless casualties. At least they were alive.

"You, Daniel," Nick said oddly "are a very strange man,"

"What?"

"You save complete strangers; you willingly give your life for entire populations that don't even know your name. You're Superman without the cape," he paused "Lois was never Clark's Kryptonite,"

Daniel gave him a funny look "what are you talking about?"

When he'd used the device he'd forgotten who he was, who _everyone_ was. There was Guinevere and Percival, Lamorak and Mordred. A world thousands of years old, that had started to the tedious cycle of evolution all over again but none of it had ever felt completely real, a sort of sordid reality that just hazed past the edges of something authentic. Something that _was_ real.

Nick just wasn't making sense. Using analogies that were either out of place or so trivial his memory had not conjured the effort to recall yet.

Nick sighed "why didn't you let Vala use Merlin's device?"

"I wasn't going to watch her die," Daniel replied instantly "I couldn't do that,"

"No?" he gave a smug smile, it should have looked cruel but it didn't "then what makes you think Vala could?"

Daniel was quiet for several minutes, and Nick was patient in his wait for a reply.

"I had to use it," he said softly.

"Yes you did,"

"She doesn't understand that,"

He raised an eyebrow "no?"

"What do you want me to say?" he exclaimed in frustration.

Nick sighed, making a point of putting his pen down on the dresser with a precise movement that seemed to take longer than it actually did. "I don't _want_ you to say anything," he began, his tone weary. "You were in a Catch twenty-two situation Daniel, you either gambled with your own life to save everyone else or you saved her and risked everyone else suffering a similar fate.

"However, the second time there was no reason for you to volunteer – why did you," he folded his arms speculatively.

"Are you a psychologist now?"

Nick replied calmly, a small smile playing with his lips "just answer the question,"

"Because I didn't have a choice," he retorted shortly "because the San Graal needed finishing, because no one else-"

"No!" Nick shouted unexpectedly, making Daniel jump as he pointed a finger at him "you wanted to use it because you were scared," he took a step forwards "because you don't know who you are, because all of this," he gestured wildly "doesn't make sense anymore. You're terrified and you thought that by using that device it might stop; that just for a second," his forefinger and thumb were barely a millimetre apart "the noise might just quiet for long enough for you to be able to think,"

When he'd finished a heavy silence filled the air, and a moment later Daniel turned on his heel and left. Nick sighed; rubbing his eyes with one hand before turning to look back at the diagram on the wall, picking up his pencil, he laboured on.

* * *

"That's a load of crap!" Jack exclaimed, pushing himself up in his seat "you're wasting our time!" 

"Doctor Ballard spent twenty years in a mental institution. Perhaps we should question his sanity before we send a team on a suicide mission," Woolsey replied coolly.

"He'd discovered an alien race!" Jack cried "Daniel did the same thing and half of America thought he was a quack! Hell most of it still does,"

"Need I remind you _General_, that there is no reason for you to be present at this meeting," he raised his eyebrows pointedly.

"We have no reason to question what Doctor Ballard is saying," Landry's voice cut through the angry silence that followed like a knife.

"Oh?" Woolsey opened the file in his lap. "Aside from spending twenty years in a psychiatric home, Doctor Ballard has also spent seven years living in, what can only be described as, solitary confinement, his age has been reversed by thirty-five years, he has the knowledge of a race of aliens we know absolutely nothing about-"

"Giant Aliens," Jack pointed out.

Woolsey gave him a weary look, turning to Landry "more to the point General, there's no way to know how much damage that will have done to Ballard's mental health, taking into account he wasn't entirely stable in the first place,"

"So what are you suggesting?" General Landry asked, hands folding neatly in front of him.

Woolsey glanced at Jack "that Doctor Ballard's life be terminated immediately,"

"Woah!" Jack yelled, jumping to his feet "you want to _kill_ him?"

Woolsey also got to his feet "we can't keep him in confinement indefinitely; he is effectively an Ancient and with everything he knows-"

"What? He'll go postal?" Jack challenged sarcastically "for cryin' out loud! This is Nick we're talking about here!"

"General O'Neill-" Woolsey started.

"Gentlemen!" Landry called, both of them stopped staring daggers at one another long enough to look at him "obviously, we need to discuss some realistic options,"

Woolsey sighed, "we have no idea how much damage he could do. For all we know he could be harbouring powers from the aliens on P7X 377 as well as those of the Ancients!"

"As of yet, Doctor Ballard as shown no evidence of any residual effects from his stay on P7X 377, both Doctor Lam and Doctor Warner have performed numerous tests and there is nothing anomalous in the results. The scientists working with the San Graal discovered a failsafe that claims Doctor Ballard will revert back to his old self in short order. If that's not the case then we still have the option of placing him in stasis,"

"If he hasn't already caused major catastrophe by then," Woolsey remarked snidely.

Jack snapped, "oh, will you stop it! If he is telling the truth, then we've blown the best chance we've ever had of beating the bad guys!"

* * *

"Nick's sketched a schematic of an Ori ship." Sam announced to the group surrounding the briefing table, maybe if they could prove they had a plan of action, that they knew what they were doing then they could change the IOA's mind, or… something. "He's found a point of entry and we've managed to formulate a plan," 

"Will it work?" Vala asked.

Sam took a breath "I think so,"

"Lot of good it'll do us," Jack said, motioning to Landry's office, he looked decidedly defeated.

Landry and Woolsey walked out of the office into the briefing room, the General looked suitably agitated. It was the kind of expression Sam had grown used to seeing on men and women who were, in fact, livid, but had no choice but to suppress any desires that involved shooting anything other than a perfect bulls eye.

"I'll let you tell 'em yourself," Landry said curtly, "because I don't have the stomach for it,"

"That's all right sir," Mitchell said with a sigh "Jack's filled us in. The IOA has nixed the whole thing,"

"No," Landry said shortly "I don't think you know everything," he shot Woolsey a deadly look.

The team looked up as Woolsey hesitated before walking over to the table, his eyes barely skirting over the diagram on the table, he was grateful that Nick wasn't present "I… You have to understand… we've considered all the evidence at our disposal. But more than that, as difficult as this is, I feel strongly that we have no viable option."

Teal'c rose to his feet, eyes narrowed "I suggest you 'get to the point',"

Woolsey swallowed nervously "I assure you, this may be the hardest decision I'll ever make… but I take full responsibility for it." He straightened, as if trying to look more authoritative than he actually was. "Based on my recommendation, the IOA has proposed to the President that Nicholas Ballard's life be terminated. Immediately."

_Author's Notes: That was a little different to what I had planned… :)_

_Next Chapter: When news of his fate reaches him, Nick decides to take matters into his own hands._


	66. No Rest for the Wicked

_Disclaimer: Script from 'The Shroud' isn't mine. _

_Author's Notes: So I had intended to be further ahead than this by Christmas but alas that is not the case! Lol. Hope you enjoy this chapter :)_

Chapter 66: No Rest for the Wicked

Woolsey made a small choking noise in the back of his throat, his feet scrabbling for purchase on something to support his weight as his heart hammered in his ears; his toes barely reached the floor.

"That is unacceptable," Teal'c whispered menacingly, his face mere centimetres from the weedy little man's.

No one commented on the fact that it took Landry several moments to react.

"Teal'c," he said wearily, the edge to his voice had nothing to do with the jaffa's actions and it took Teal'c twice as long as it should have done to register what he was being asked to do and even longer to set Woolsey back on his feet.

"You can't just kill him!" Daniel exclaimed hotly "it's completely unethical, never mind-"

Woolsey straightened his tie and coughed pointedly before interrupting "Doctor Ballard is a threat to the security of this country, if we don't take action now then there is no telling what sort of disaster he could cause."

"National Security?" Daniel scoffed "that's what this is about?"

"I understand you're upset Doctor Jackson, he is your grandfather but much as it pains me to say, we cannot afford to let our personal feelings get in the way of doing what is best for the safety and welfare of-"

"You coward," Vala accused, multiple pairs of eyes turned to fix on her.

"Excuse me?"

"If we don't act now millions of people will die!" she jumped to her feet, eyes flashing dangerously but for a man so keen on self preservation Woolsey didn't take the hint.

"That's just speculation," he said, desperately clinging to what little was left of his composure "besides, the only word we have is yours and forgive me if it takes a little while for me to believe you,"

Vala looked momentarily stung, blinking owlishly at him for a moment.

"That's not fair," Daniel jumped to her defence, not necessarily because it was his wife that was saying it but for the fact he knew as well as she did the length of rope they would be supplying themselves with if they didn't at least try and use the weapon, "we can't just bury our heads in the sand and hope that the Ori will just go away,"

Woolsey turned on him, a smug and poignant expression on his face "and whose fault is it exactly that we are in this situation in the first place Doctor Jackson?"

"Hey!" Cam exclaimed "we're all at fault,"

Refusing to be baited Woolsey looked at Landry "the SGC will be notified as soon as the IOA receives confirmation from the President," and with that he walked briskly from the briefing room.

* * *

Vala lingered in the door way, watching as Nick moved seamlessly from wall to wall, scribbling, sketching and scrawling on every inch of paper he could find, the original schematic for the Ori ship lay slightly crumpled on the bed where she'd put it a few minutes ago. 

"If you're planning on loitering," he said, without turning around "then can you do so with the door closed? There's an awful draft coming from the hallway,"

Jumping slightly she stepped into the room and shut the door quietly behind her.

"So, everything okay?" he asked, pausing and stepping back from his calculations a moment.

She looked at his back and it was oddly comforting to not have to look him in the eye. They hadn't volunteered her and she certainly hadn't said she'd do it but the arguments raging in the briefing room as Cam furiously tried to get Landry to let them through the 'gate were doing nothing but make it painfully obvious how completely helpless they were.

All their hopes had been placed on that device, everything had been 'if we can find the San Graal' followed by 'if we could just finish the San Graal' and now that they had both found and finished it they were wholly stuck when some obnoxious little man from an intentionally ambiguous government post told them they couldn't use it.

What right did Woolsey have to stop them from saving everyone? The absolute worse case scenario would be that they would die. But what did that matter to him? If SG1 decided to, once again, put themselves on the line to try and save an ultimately pathetic, diminutive planet then surely it was on their own heads. No one else would end up dead. Besides, if it came to that, if they did end up captured then who better to be caught with than her? At least then she could use the undesirable role as Adria's mother to help her friends. At least they would die quickly.

There was also the disturbing fact that not only was Woolsey putting his nose where it didn't belong by stopping SG1 using the San Graal but he was trying to get Nick killed. For a race so against the Goau'ld, and the Ori and they were sure quick to condemn and innocent man to death.

"General Landry approve my plan?" he paused, "I admit the sketch may have been a little off but Ori technology has probably advanced a bit since Merlin last saw it," he grinned like it was supposed to be funny, maybe some sort of Ancient joke Vala couldn't quite get.

She looked at the floor then back up, "yes," she said slowly "he uh… did,"

"Let me guess," he said, a note of amusement tainted his voice "Daniel… no wait… Cam. Cam thought it was stupid,"

"No," she said slowly "he's on your side too." She paused tactfully "that..." she couldn't bring herself to say his name "that little weasel man who somehow represents your government?"

Nick frowned then caught on "Woolsey?"

Trying to make it light hearted and conceal her shudder at his the mention of his name she continued "I…I can't be certain but I think he might not like you,"

Nick suddenly looked very tired "he wants to have me killed doesn't he?" he said, sitting on the edge of the bed and all too abruptly Vala was starkly aware of just how… well _human_ he was.

No one wants to hear their going to be killed, no matter how thick skinned they are, how tough, how much they pretend they don't care. To hear that someone wants for you to die and has the power to make that desire a reality sends shivers down your spine, a rock settles in your stomach and you feel exhausted yet yearn for the energy to be able to run and scream and hide all at once. It's all the worse when the perpetrator is supposed to be on your side.

She fought the urge to go and pat him on the back, or hug him or just somehow make things okay. Even if that wasn't possible, sometimes the effort is all that matters, the mere fact that you tried a testament to your character and your strength. When you're quaking inside and craving for days when words like death and pain and hate meant nothing at all.

When the only things that mattered were the trivial details like whether mother was going to serve those bitter tasting vegetables with dinner. The closest you got to the exhilaration of disobedience was eating the tiny sour candies the town crier sneaked you when your mother wasn't looking and stealing little sips of mead from your father's liquor store when everyone else had gone to bed.

Then all too soon you meet _him_, the first boy, the one that you think the world of, who's smile lights up your day, who's laugh is so wonderful you can't help but laugh too, then the candies become kisses, and the mead becomes hands held beneath the folds of petticoats and jacket pockets in the back pew of the village church.

Then you know life and pleasure and love and with them come notions of death and pain and hate. You know the concept without having to ask but how they feel comes much later; when the boy betrays you. Then the candies are back but they're just a feeble excuse for crying, shadowing the tarnished beauty of kissing under the stars. The mead returns as well but instead of minute sips for the sake of it, you gulp at the thick liquid, barely waiting long enough for the burn to settle in your belly before taking another huge mouthful. When you're caught you don't care, because he, that one person, _that boy_ betrayed any sense of trust you had.

"Well, I'm not sure how serious he is," she was trying, she really was, and after all, trying is the only thing that matters because success is so rare and winning is only for those lucky enough not to have to try "he seems quite the prankster to me," she smiled weakly.

He sent her a smile in return, it was weaker, weaker than hers but it was an acknowledgement of her effort "thank you," he said quietly and they were the last words she wanted to hear.

Thank you meant he'd conceded defeat; that he'd given up. It meant every thing it shouldn't and standing there, in the dimly lit military-issue living quarters, the words were like a knife in the back. Nick didn't give up, he fought and he twisted and he turned, he drove further than anyone, pushed harder than was considered possible and said and did things that should neither be said nor done but he did them anyway just because he sought too. Not because he should or because someone asked, because he _wanted_ it. And she knew as well as he did that sometimes wanting something is more than enough to justify yourself.

"There must be something we can do," she said softly.

He glanced sideways at her, giving her a measured look, a moment later his lips curled into a smile.

There was hope yet.

* * *

"You," Mckay said, pointing his finger at the infant in front of him "are a very irritating person," 

Lexy laughed, grabbing her babysitter's finger and pulling it harshly, her tiny fingers wrapped possessively around the digit as she jerked it up and down to an irregular beat, "lub, lub," she gurgled contentedly, grinning at him.

Mckay scowled at her but didn't pull away, absently fascinated by the child.

"Lub, lub!" she let go and waved her arms above her head, making grabbing motions with her hands.

"I have work to do you know," he told her, looking back at his laptop's screen and starting to type again.

Irked by his dismissal Lexy picked up a handful of pens from beside her and threw them at the floor, laughing when the instruments clattered against the concrete. When that failed to get his attention she clapped her hands together "'kay, 'kay, lub, lub!" she exclaimed excitedly.

He sighed, pausing and turning his chair so it faced the little girl straight on "what?" he asked.

Lexy grinned, hiding her mouth behind her hands as she smiled bashfully at him.

"Come on," he said "what do you want?"

"Addy," she said quietly.

"No," he said, going back to his computer "I'm not starting that again,"

She grabbed his finger again "'kay, Addy, Addy, 'kay!"

"I have no idea what you're – ow!" he wrenched his hand away from her, "you little… that hurt!" he examined his forefinger for any obvious damage but aside from the little pink indentations where the pearly white incisors had clamped around the knuckle, there was none to address, "what was that for?"

It was stupid question really because she couldn't answer but once again he'd been lumbered with baby sitting duty; only this time it wasn't because no one else was available it was because he had – or at least it was what Sam had told Daniel – volunteered to because, apparently, he liked the little brat. The fact that, that was not entirely untrue was not something he was willing to discuss.

"Lub 'kay," she murmured, reaching out for him again.

Somewhat hesitantly he found himself complying too her demand and picking her up; and if he felt a warm tightness in his chest when she wrapped her arms around his neck and snuffled into his shoulder, well it was probably more to do with the fact that she was crushing his larynx than anything else.

* * *

Nick stared at the briefing table, contemplating the whorls and knots in the wood work. He waited several seconds before looking up as Woolsey entered the room "no gun," he said sardonically "hmm… did you bring lethal injection, high voltage or just gonna have Teal'c push me into a forming wormhole?" 

Woolsey gave him a terse look "I think you understand my position,"

"I think it'd be very hard too," he fired back.

The IOA representative sighed and glanced at his feet before returning his piercing stare back to the man currently tracing idle patterns on the table "you will be frozen in stasis until such time that SG1's mission is deemed successful,"

"Call me a cynic," Nick moved around the table, "but I find that despairingly hard to believe,"

"The President believes that the information you provided us with is worth investigating,"

"Am I too take it that you don't?"

Woolsey sighed "what I do and do not believe is not a question here. However if you are attempting to determine whether I think this mission will be a success then you would be right in assuming I don't agree with the President's decision,"

"I take it then, you're not going to allow me to just turn back into my old self,"

"If the Intel turns out to be reliable, you will be unfrozen and allowed to resume transforming. If that indeed, is going to happen,"

"Mr. Woolsey," Nick said slowly "are you aware of what happened to Daniel when he was put in the stasis chamber?"

"Amnesia would be a small price to pay,"

"Prices are easy to determine when you're not the one paying them," he said menacingly.

Woolsey sighed and for a second, Nick almost felt sorry for him, "I'm here out of respect for you, Doctor Jackson and this facility. I wanted to explain personally that the Odyssey is in orbit above the planet and on my word we're going to beam you into the Ancient pod in Antarctica,"

Nick closed his eyes, jaw tense with concentration as a faint smile flickered across his face.

Giving him an odd look Woolsey lifted the radio to his mouth "you're clear to beam the prisoner out now,"

Nick felt a flash of annoyance at the word 'prisoner'. He wasn't a prisoner; it was just another way for Woolsey to feel like he was in control. Smiling fully now, he reopened his eyes.

Woolsey frowned "what's the hold up?"

Emerson's voice crackled through the radio "we're having some technical problems. We can't seem to get a lock."

Nick fought the urge to grin maniacally as Woolsey's eyes widened in panic, he made a rush for the door but he'd barely made it three steps before he was rising of the floor. "You see," he said slowly "that's not part of my plan,"

* * *

Jack watched the chevrons light up on the 'gate stoically, his P-90 heavy in his hands. The adrenalin rush was both familiar and welcome, his team stood beside him as the wormhole formed and the roar of the Kawoosh filled the 'gate room. The blast doors whooshedopen as Nick ran in, airmen on his heels but just a step behind him as the doors closed again in their faces. 

"SG1, you have a go," Walter called over the intercom, his voice shaky but his expression elated.

As the team stepped through the event horizon and the wormhole collapsed, the Sergeant grinned at Cam stood beside him "I've always wanted to say that," he admitted.

* * *

The planet they had chosen was quiet, the nearest village miles away from the 'gate and no hunting parties would pass through for several months. 

"Everyone okay?" Jack asked, glancing at the group behind him.

"We are all fine O'Neill," Teal'c said "however I do not see how the people of PD9 465 will be able to assist us,"

Nick and Vala shared a look before Nick reached for his radio, "we're ready when you are Colonel,"

_A__uthor's Notes: I don't know whether I'm gonna get another chapter up before Christmas so just in case I don't; a Merry Christmas to you all!_

_Next Chapter: Old friends, reluctant allies and a mark nine might not be enough to get even SG1 out of this one._


	67. Random Truths

Chapter 67: Random Truths

"General," Caldwell greeted, getting to his feet, his tone was severe but warm "it's good to have you aboard,"

Jack nodded his reply before swiftly turning on his heel to face Nick, giving him an expectant look.

Nick stared right back at him, the expression the General was wearing was one that could easily be seen as something he had not used for years but had been in frequent usage during his time on SG1 as the planes of his face slid easily into the terse lines of borderline irritation and absent disbelief.

"Nick," he said slowly "care to explain?"

Nick just gestured at Caldwell coolly, before muttering something to Vala as she took off her pack carefully.

"Right through there," Caldwell gestured "Hermiod will help you if you need it,"

The duo nodded and followed the woman beckoning them to follow down the passage.

"Somebody," Jack said impatiently "please explain what's going on,"

Caldwell smiled at him "we got word you might be in need in some assistance sir," he said.

"Who?" Daniel stepped forward.

"A combination of sources," the Colonel replied almost mysteriously "Doctor Ballard and Ms. Jackson contacted us from the SGC, I was…" he hesitated "reluctant to help at first but I received an unofficial request from General Landry; he was suitably ambiguous in his orders," he nodded at the man sat next to him "activate the hyper drive," he ordered.

* * *

There was a glint in Jack's eyes that was dancing with mirth, his face remained strictly schooled but his amusement was evident by anyone learned in reading the signs that weren't so obvious. 

Teal'c glanced from the silver-haired general to Sam and back again; the blonde looked weary but adamant and the jaffa could not help but feel a swell of pride as she quite calmly explained again.

Caldwell looked like he was about to combust "you want to do what?"

"Sir," the blonde said with a forced patience "we need-"

"Change of plan," Nick said, walking briskly onto the bridge "the-"

"I'm picking up something on the scanners," the Major in the seat next to Caldwell's announced without looking away from the screen in front of him, as the Daedalus dropped out of hyperspace.

"Ori?" Daniel asked, approaching the man and looking at the screen also.

"I can't confirm that sir, but this close to the Supergate I'd say yes,"

Of course, Jack thought ironically, it would never be that simple. It would have been too much to hope that the mission might run smoothly, it would have been easy and God forbid anything should ever be easy, particularly if it involved SG1; maybe they should start their own reality show – the pay might be better.

"Are we in weapons range?"

The Major shook his head "not quite sir,"

"The Daedalus is in no condition to take nto a fight," Caldwell cut in "we were on our way back to Earth for repairs when we received the call,"

"How bad?" Sam asked.

Caldwell's steely gazed fixed on her "she'll hold if she has too but I'd rather not test that theory unless we have no other choice,"

There was a brief silence.

"We're being targeted!" the Major exclaimed.

"Dammit," Caldwell muttered, "taking his seat and tapping something into the keypad on the arm, "this is Colonel Caldwell of the Earth ship Daedalus-"

"Colonel," Adria's voice lilted out of the radio "a pleasure to meet you,"

"Get her up on screen," Caldwell commanded.

"However," the Orisi said as her image jumped to life on the monitor "I suggest you retreat else this meeting will be a determinately short one,"

"You won't fire on us," Vala assumed, "you can't,"

"Mother," Adria sounded almost surprised and that sent a jolt of something akin to hope through Jack's chest; they could still surprise her, it was nothing but for some reason it felt like it was at the very least _something_. It didn't take long for the shock to fade and a once more sickly smile wove it's way across her lips "you needn't think that you're being aboard this vessel will stop me from doing what needs to be done. You have betrayed me too many times to earn salvation,"

"We have the San Graal," she deadpanned "you destroy this ship and you destroy it too,"

"What the hell is she doing?" Caldwell whispered harshly to Jack "she's going to get us all killed!"

The Colonel's disbelieve was shared by nearly everyone else on the bridge, Nick however did not seem to agree with the sentiment "Adria's going to blow us all up anyway – let the girl try,"

Adria gave her mother an odd look before taking a breath "no matter," she replied idly "the San Graal is mere child's play next to the power I possess, if I have to destroy it for the good of the galaxy then so be it,"

"The good of what galaxy?" Vala asked sarcastically "no one wants you here Adria, no one. You're just the messenger anyway," she moved over to the control deck, discreetly tapping on the keypad, the words 'target locked' flashed on the screen "one I have no problem shooting," her hand slammed down on the panel.

Adria's image flickered and when it became clear again her normally cold eyes were colder than usual, narrowed in contempt and every plane of her face was tense with fury, "very well," she said softly, and the connection was severed.

Daniel grabbed at the Major's chair as the ship shook and the muffled roar of the explosion reverberated throughout the deck. It was followed in rapid succession by another.

"Shields are down to eighty-two percent," the Major reported as the team took a moment to right themselves.

"Activate the hyper drive," Caldwell ordered "we need too-"

"Ignore that order Major," Jack said; pulling rank "Carter," he turned to Sam "would a mark six deactivate the 'gate?"

The original plan of severing the link in the Pegasus Galaxy was out of the question for obvious reasons but if they could shut down the 'gate without destroying it then they still stood a chance, albeit a marginal one of succeeding, after all it would be really bad if they all got fired or arrested or in Nick's case killed, with nothing to show for it.

"It might," Sam said "there's no guarantee-"

"Do it," he ordered the Major and then too Nick and Vala "is the San Graal ready?"

"Nearly."

"Daniel, go with her, help her finish it and then bring it in here."

He wanted to protest but that would have been entirely selfish and most likely petulant, they were two grown adults and they could act that way; they could be professional and do what had to be done. There was another time and another place for silly disagreements and stupid arguments to take place and as ironic as it would be to have one in the bridge as weapons were fired left and right, they weren't in a low budget action movie and in reality the chances of everything quieting enough for them to be able to hear each other were slim.

"This way," she said curtly, brushing passed him and jogging down the corridor ahead of him.

"Vala," to hell with it, it would be just their luck for the cliché to become real and then he wouldn't have the chance too… to do what? Say sorry, that wasn't going to happen, he wasn't sorry, at least not for what she thought he should be and even so; would an apology even cover it?

"Can you pass me that piece there?" she said "for some reason these weren't attached when Nick finished it… of course it's possible that it's not supposed to be but I highly doubt that the Ancient's would leave spare pieces lying around,"

Hermiod twittered in his native tongue behind a control deck, typing at a manic pace as the ship shivered around them.

Daniel passed it to her "Vala…"

"Now's not really the time Daniel," she said tersely "and that would be if I was prepared to listen to your excuses,"

"Oh right," he said dryly "what you're _prepared_ to do,"

She didn't even look at him, the urge to glare dangerously in his direction was strong but she resisted, her fingers moving deftly across the device, searching for a notch for the spare pieces to fit into.

"Will you at least look at me?" he asked, his voice sounded strained and desperate even as he willed it to be anything but.

She obliged; her expression stoic and measured, her calm almost forced; she shouldn't look at him like that, he didn't want her too. Was it so selfish to just want it all back? The puerile adoration she had for everything he did, the feeling that never grew old of being able to just reach out and _touch_.

"What do you want?" Vala said tiredly as she slid the last but one bit into position "you want to apologize?" she examined the last fragment in her palm, "fine, apology accepted," her tone was clipped and short.

He gave an exasperated sigh "can we just talk about this?" it sounded absurd even to him, and if their positions had been swapped his response would have been as sarcastic as he expected hers too be. Instead, ever the one for impulse, her reply was neither sarcastic nor quick.

"No,"

"No?" he repeated "that's it?"

She fixed him with a look that was not dissimilar to sympathy "how does it feel to be on that side?"

"What?" his confusion was evident.

She rolled her eyes but didn't say anything.

He gave her an incredulous look "that's what this is about?" he shook his head as if by doing so things would morph back into shape, into something vaguely relative to reality, "revenge?"

"No!" Vala answered but it was. Of course it was.

He deserved to feel the way she had, to be on the opposite side of the fence; left begging for the untouchable after a tantalizing taste of what it felt like. It was petulant and stupid but she hadn't planned it; just made the best of a bad situation.

She was sick of being the one left behind, the one crying herself to sleep, of mourning things that the universe had been cruel enough to snatch away from her. And Daniel had been the nearest, the closest and the most deserving of the switch, of unloading everything on, he'd done the unforgivable; betraying her even as she implored for him to stop and just _think._ Because for all he was the savior of all things good and right he didn't think, not when he needed too, not when it meant dying.

But then maybe that was easier, not thinking about it, jumping before he could be pulled back, before grappling hands could find purchase on something that didn't want to be saved.

"I had to use that device. How can you be so selfish that you would have me let everyone else die just so I _might_ live?"

The tears were burning her eyelids again and she hated it, blinking hard and fast to try and get them to retreat, the fury and upset was balling her chest as the ship shuddered again and threatened to send them both sprawling to the floor.

"You need to grow up Vala," he said, it was harsh and maybe he shouldn't be saying it but he'd started and somehow the thought of stopping was terrifying "sometimes you have to let go, you have to do the things you don't want to do because when you don't the cost is higher than what you'd pay if you did." He paused for a moment "I'm sorry that I hurt you, but I'm not sorry for using Merlin's device. I had too, and no amount of silent treatment and petty tantrums is going to make me change my mind,"

She opened her mouth to reply but Jack's voice across the intercom cut her off "do you two want to get your asses up to the bridge?"

Breathing heavily and casting him an accusing look Vala moved over to the nearby wall, pressing the button and answering "we're on our way,"

As he slid the last piece into place and hefted the device into his arms he tried to catch Vala's eye, the weight of guilt deepened - which was absurd because he didn't have anything to feel guilty about – when she refused to even spare him a glance, heading down the corridor at a speed difficult to match.

Hermiod looked up, his eyes widening momentarily before he muttered loosely under his breath, returning to his work with a renewed vigor.

* * *

Jack took a breath, feeling a little disorientated as he and Sam materialized aboard the Ori vessel. He was not unaccustomed to Asguard beaming technology however the ship was quaking just as much as the Daedalus as the battle continued. 

Nick had managed to bring down the Ori ship's shields for a brief moment, the amount of strength it had required was evident and from the familiar buzz that activated a split second after they had materialized; it had nearly been _too_ brief.

"What are we supposed to do now? The bridge will be full of soldiers – there's no way we could get near enough to dial through,"

"So-" he cut himself off, pushing Sam against a gap in the wall and standing in front of her as a troop of soldiers marched passed, his hand slipped silently to the trigger of his P-90 and he could feel Sam do the same thing.

Her breath caught in her throat as he pushed her against the wall, and for a fleeting, and slightly disturbing moment, she wished it wasn't because they were now effectively trapped on an Ori ship with no legitimate way of getting off. But that wouldn't be right because she had called it, ended the relationship with a man she had spent years wanting all because she was scared. It was easy to draw that conclusion now, weeks after the fact.

Because it had been real, and maybe that was what had frightened her off. Maybe having a chance, a real live relationship with someone she loved for the first time since high school, where love was lust and kissing was sweet and innocent. She'd screwed it up and a bitter and heavy rush of regret filled her stomach.

When the soldiers had moved passed and the sound of the clunking armour had dissipated into a soft thud further down the corridor Jack pulled back.

"We need to head to a control point," he said, his voice rough, he coughed and continued "can you deactivate their DHD from your computer?"

"I can try but Ori technology-"

"Come on," he cut her off, stalking down the corridor like the well trained soldier he was.

She felt a stab of irritation at that; how could he do that? Pretend that nothing was wrong, that he hadn't felt something. How could he act like nothing had happened? She wasn't sure whether to envy or despise that trait. She settled for ignoring it as she moved to follow.

* * *

"We need to get them out of there," Caldwell said hotly, sitting quite literally on the edge of his seat and watching Nick intensely. 

"Shields are down to thirty-percent,"

"Not yet," Nick said; his eyes closed "they're nearly there…"

Caldwell gave an impatient sigh; his disapproval couldn't have been more obvious.

Nick took a deep breath, his entire body was taut, sweat was beading on his forehead and you didn't need to look to closely to see that he was shaking with the effort it was taking to watch Sam and Jack as they moved through the Ori ship, fighting valiantly to stay conscious long enough to see them through it.

If he died then it didn't matter but if they did… if his friends died because he hadn't held on for just one more second, one more minute, then that wasn't acceptable. They deserved more and he would give them that, even if it cost him his life.

"Nick…" Daniel's voice broke through the silence "you all right?"

"I am fine Daniel;" he said tightly, "come on," he muttered "come on, come on…" suddenly his eyes snapped open "now!"

"Get them out of there!" Caldwell repeated the order and the Major's fingers poised over the keys descended on the controls in front of him.

In a flurry of explosions, blinding light and noise Sam and Jack reappeared on the bridge, eyes closed in anticipation. Sam's heart was hammering in her ears as she took a sudden breath she hadn't realised she was holding; she opened her eyes just as the San Graal faded from sight.

Jack turned almost as soon as he and Sam landed back on the Daedalus, the zap of the beam sending the San Graal through the 'gate was followed by a cease in the barrage of fire the Ori ship was letting loose. Within seconds the ship was following the weapon through the 'gate and just as the ship disappeared from sight the wormhole shut down and the only noise left was that of heavy pants for breath a sighs of relief.

"Did we do it?" Vala asked tentatively.

Sam opened her mouth to reply but was once again interrupted, this time by a thud as Nick seemingly folded in on himself and hit the floor.

"Nick!" Daniel exclaimed, rushing forwards as his grandfather's staccato breathing evened out and the previously tense muscles relaxed as he slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

"He's stable," Carolyn reported, letting loose a slow sigh of relief "but I don't know how long for; his stats are dropping intermittently but they haven't deteriorated in the last couple of hours," she took a calmly breath "however his EEG is showing a extreme decrease in brain activity," 

"What about stasis?" Sam suggested, loathe to propose that option but it was just like before, they were helpless, and being helpless was worse than failing.

"No," Daniel said.

"Daniel…" Carolyn started.

He looked at her almost desperately "no,"

Carolyn nodded "okay," she answered softly.

"Are you sure this is the most appropriate course of action Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c's baritone voice drifted through the soft silence that followed.

"Nick knew what might happen. He took the risk." He paused "he wouldn't want us to interfere,"

* * *

When Vala returned to the infirmary several hours later it was quiet, the lights were low and were casting hideous shadows across the walls. The gentle drone of the monitors and machinery filling the hospital was obscenely loud compared to the thin silence that veiled the rest of the mountain. 

"Daniel?"

She shouldn't have been surprised that he was there but she was. The relationship Daniel had with his grandfather was patchy and strange, she had no real desire to analyse it and come up with plausible reasons for that, she had never asked and maybe she should have. There were lots of things she should have done, lots of maybes. It didn't matter now, the time was long gone where a few whispered apologies would make things okay.

We live and we love. We do and we die. We say and we are. But we always pull through, by the skin of our teeth, the tips of our fingers. We always come back. Whether or not that's a good thing is a decision better left unmade. It's what makes us human, what makes us real; what makes us who we have the right to be. After all, life isn't a fairytale; things go wrong and you survive. You have too.

Daniel turned to look at her "oh," he said softly before returning his gaze to the none-existent pattern on the blanket covering his grandfather.

"How is he?" she asked cautiously, stepping a little closer.

He shrugged "do you care?"

Shocked and stung she struggled not to reel back "excuse me?"

He was quiet for a moment before getting up, his movements stiff and slow as if he'd been sat in that hard plastic chair since everyone else had left nearly four hours ago.

Vala caught his arm as he went to pass "Daniel…" she started, however when he looked at her she wasn't sure how to continue.

She'd made it abundantly clear earlier on that she wasn't interested in mending broken fences so it should not have been Earth shattering news to find that he wasn't interested any more either but that meant he'd broken the rules. Forfeited before the battle had even started; he wasn't allowed to do that. That made the game void, it meant it hadn't worked, that she'd miscalculated and she just didn't do that.

The expression she was faced with was not one she was unaccustomed too; she'd dealt with looks of pure venom before, from angry conmen, swindlers and priests, from men she'd double crossed and women she'd duped, only this time it was from Daniel; the only person in three galaxies with the power to make it hurt. And hurt it did.

"You've made your point," he said wearily and she realised she'd been silent to long, holding on to his arm the whole time, she let go.

"What point?" she asked.

He sighed heavily, suddenly looking very tired "I'll speak to General Landry in the morning; see how quickly he can get the divorce pushed through,"

She was so astonished by his remark it took her a moment to comprehend what he'd said and despite having been the one to end it she was angry, he wasn't meant to admit defeat, he was meant to argue, meant to fight. Because if he didn't fight that meant she'd lost, it meant everything they had, everything she'd wanted was gone, and if it was gone then what did she have left?

"So that's it? You're just giving up?" she called after him as he made to leave the infirmary.

He turned "you're the one that gave up on me remember?" he retorted, "I didn't ask for this,"

"No, but you certainly didn't fight it either,"

And he hadn't. He was supposed to. She needed him too. After everything she at least deserved that, or did he really think she wasn't worth the effort? Just a pity relationship because she'd been pregnant and hormonal, and terminating a marriage just for the sake of it would have taken too much time and cost too much money.

What they'd had, had been brief and too short; forced by powers and situations that neither could blame the other for. She'd been stupid enough to fall in love and he'd been smart enough not too.

"What do you want me to say?" he said, and he honestly didn't know, one minute she hated him the next she was all but pleading for him to say yes again and forget all the arguments and disagreements; and thinking about it, the list of bad times was much longer than that of the good. "I had to choose between you and the universe; you've got no idea how tempting it was to tell everyone else to go to hell. I _wanted_ to choose you but I couldn't because I can't be that selfish! At least by using that device I would have saved all of you now Nick is there dying and there's _nothing_ I can do about it!"

The passion in his words and the intensity of his expression threw her, it wasn't about that anymore, or maybe it was. And maybe the force behind his outburst might not be relative to what he was saying, it could have been exhaustion or upset. It didn't have to be about her and it probably wasn't.

"I'm sorry about Nick," she said softly.

He nodded swiftly.

"You were leaving me Daniel," she continued "again, you don't have the faintest idea what that felt like,"

"No," he challenged "and you don't know what it felt like having to make that decision,"

"But you didn't have too," she said earnestly "someone else could have-"

"Stop saying that,"

"But its true!" she ploughed on "and you know it else you wouldn't be so upset,"

"No, you're just too full of yourself to realise that not everything is about you,"

She stared at him, eyes filling with tears as he spoke, words unsaid, accusations hinted at but not actually said. He was wrong, she already knew that, this wasn't about her, it was never about her, it was about him, and it was always about him. He was the centre, the heart and he drew people in without even trying.

"It's not about that!" she found herself replying loudly "it was never about me, it was never about how I would feel dammit!"

"Then what?"

"It's always you!" she screamed at him, uncaring for the noise they were making "always, every single time it's you! Your friends, this planet - every one of them is hell bent on seeing you fall! You are always the scapegoat for their mistakes!"

Daniel's eyes narrowed "my friends-"

"Stop it!" she stamped her foot in frustration "for God's sake Daniel you are not that stupid!"

"I don't understand what you're trying to tell me!" he shouted back more for the fact that she was than actually wanting too "that my friends are out to get me? Way to make a guy paranoid!"

She made an impatient noise of irritation, turning away and then back again "that's not what I'm saying!"

"Then what are you saying?" he challenged dryly, daring her to explain.

"I'm saying..." she took a calming breath "I'm saying that it's always you. Whether it's some strange subconscious desire to prove yourself or because you don't trust anyone else to do it right. I don't know, what I do know is that you're worth more than that,"

"What do you expect me to do?" Expect. That was the key wasn't it? What she expected, what she wanted. "Say 'hey well, I don't feel like it, get somebody else to save the universe'? If no one else is going to then I have no choice. I can't just watch everything fall apart because I was too selfish to do anything about it!"

"No!" she cried "I'm not... nobody else ever volunteers Daniel. Nobody. Not Sam, or Jack, Cameron... Teal'c doesn't even bother. It's you," she paused breathlessly "every single time,"

The long, single-pitched beep of the heart monitor sounded and within seconds lights were coming on and alarms were sounding, nurses rushing in from outside and the boisterous rattle of the crash cart as it hurtled to a stop drowned out any response he could have made.

Glancing at the monitor Daniel felt his stomach plummet as across the screen flickered a solitary flat line.

_Author's Notes: I apologise if any of that is incorrect but let's call it artistic licence and ignore it shall we:) _

_Next Chapter: Nick's fate is yet to be decided, Thor takes on a rather unorthodox assignment and Moira's man in blue might be more than a figment of her imagination._


	68. Turning the World Upside Down

_Annon. – Thank you for the insight but I don't recall ever saying I had actually __**finished**__ this story. I am sorry that you are no longer enjoying the fiction but many others still are and - I hope you can forgive me if this sounds crass - but if you don't like it why are reviewing? The later chapters aren't __**adding**__ to the story because they're __**part **__of it; the summary was purposefully ambiguous as at the time I was unable to come up with one that described the story adequately. There will indeed be a sequel however it would be entirely pointless to start it without explaining how they reach that point and to do so requires finishing this fiction first. Constructive criticism is always useful and I appreciate reader input but your review was neither useful nor appreciated; if you don't like the way the story is going then either stop reading or say something that I can actually work on rather than 'stop writing it'._

Chapter 68: Turning the World Upside Down

Carolyn took a heavy breath as she straightened; the tension and hive of activity dying down now the disaster had been averted. Nick's stats were the lowest they had been since he'd been brought in.

She eyed the tube lodged in her patient's mouth; after the cardiac arrest he'd gone into severe respiratory distress and had narrowly avoided another heart attack. His brain had been starved of oxygen for nearly eight minutes and there was no way to know how much damage that had caused.

Nodding politely as the last nurse departed, Carolyn looked up just in time to see Vala leave also, and her eyes were immediately drawn to Daniel. She opened her mouth to say something but couldn't think of anything reassuring to say and so settled for squeezing his arm gently as she walked passed, she turned back as she reached the door.

"Stasis is still an option Daniel," she said softly.

He shook his head resolutely.

She wanted to try and convince him but she shouldn't. Daniel knew better than any of them what Nick was going through, or at least what he'd been through up until this point, they'd never let Daniel progress this far. Nick was dying and they didn't know whether or not the failsafe was even in place any more; they could be subjecting themselves to watch the man die.

But Daniel was the only family Nick had; any decisions regarding his grandfather's health were up to Daniel. He was the one to decide if they should resuscitate. If they should give him drugs. If they should turn life support off if it got that far, and the way Nick was going at the moment, that was the most probable scenario.

"Do you blame her?" she asked, the question drumming through the silence.

"How could I not?" he asked bitterly and she was surprised at the answer, "the only reason this is happening is because she was too pig-headed to let me do it. Now instead of only loosing the one person, you've lost two,"

"We haven't lost him yet,"

Forever the doctor, forever practical. Say what needs to be said but nothing more. Don't interfere in personal affairs because they're nothing to do with you; the only time you ask is if it's relevant to your patient's condition. If he blamed his wife, then it should not involve their doctor.

But on the other hand who would be better qualified? She knew every scar; injury, both current and passed; every allergy they had ever suffered from, every operation they had underwent. She could be neutral.

"Daniel," she said softly "have you tried talking to her about it?"

"What's the point?" he looked tired, "we just fight,"

"About Nick?" she pressed "or the device?"

He was quiet for a moment "did I have a choice?" he asked her, his tone was strange, as if he were both challenging her to argue and daring her to agree.

"No," she answered firmly "not the first time,"

"And the second?" his eyes were bright and filled with an emotion she couldn't pin point.

She sighed, moving back into the room "you could have handled it better," she replied carefully.

He sighed, running a hand over his face "what now?"

What now. What to do. What to say. She held life in her hands, made the choices that no one else wanted too; novocaine or morphine, surgery or radiation, stitches or staples; when the patient has been in cardiac arrest for nigh on twelve minutes do you carry on or do you stop? What if you'd tried one more time after you'd said to call it? Do you stand there and watch someone die just because they signed the waver and their proxy says to let them die? Or do you try, do you bring them back?

"Apologise to her,"

"I'm not sorry I used Merlin's device," he responded forcefully.

"I don't think she's asking you to be,"

* * *

Daniel frowned as the door didn't open, he turned the key in the lock and then back again, tried the door again and feeling a momentary stab of confusion until it dawned on him; "Vala," no answer "Vala open the door," still nothing. 

Pocketing his keys he pulled out his cell phone, punched in the number and held it to his ear as he waited for her to pick up. He could hear the phone ringing inside the apartment and he rapped on the door sharply "Vala!" he winced when he heard Lexy start wailing.

The phone clicked as Vala picked up but he had no time to say anything as she immediately hung up again, frustrated he hit redial but was immediately greeted with the busy tone.

"Vala!" he called, knocking on the door again "Vala,"

She continued to ignore him.

"This isn't funny Vala," he increased the tempo of his knocking but after several minutes his hand was starting to ache and he had to stop, annoyance ebbing its way into his tired and strung out mind he kicked the door in aggravation.

A door down the hall opened and an elderly woman in a nightdress and curlers peered out, her small eyes narrowed in disapproval and her thin lips pursed.

"Sorry," he apologised half heartedly "I uh…" he paused "sorry," he repeated and the woman gave him a contemptuous look before retreating back into the depths of her room, her TV cast strange shadows on the wall and when she turned up the sound a moment later, _All Quiet on the Western Front_ could be heard out into the hall.

"Vala," he said quietly "open the-"

"Go away,"

"Don't be stupid Vala, just unlock the door,"

"No,"

There was silence.

"Vala!" how stupid was this? Standing in the hall outside his own apartment, stuck in the hall because going back to the mountain meant not only driving but having to explain that he'd been locked out of his home by his wife; wouldn't Ferretti have a field day with that, "look I'm sorry," it felt strange, talking to the door, maybe easier maybe not, he didn't know and didn't care to try and figure it out, "I'm sorry and I didn't have to use the device but I did and-"

Vala opened the door and fell through it, stumbling so as to not end up flat on his face "yes you did," she corrected him.

"What?" he asked, "I thought-"

"Just because you had to didn't mean you should have."

He gave her an odd look, so he shouldn't have used it but he had too? She was mad at him because he'd done something he had too but shouldn't have?

"I'm leaving in the morning," she announced and he realised he'd been quiet too long "we'll be gone by lunchtime so you can have the apartment back then," she put a hand on his chest to push him out the door.

"What? We?" he stammered, too preoccupied to resist as she pushed him back out onto the landing "who's we?"

She looked at him steadily and his eyes widened as it occurred to him.

"No! You can't do that," panic gripped his chest and he knocked her hand aside and flung out his own to stop the door as she went to close it.

"Daniel please," she said, her eyes were bright and her voice sounded odd, hushed as if she couldn't speak any louder for fear she might give something away "don't do this,"

"Landry won't let you take her," he countered, letting his hand drop to his side "she's a citizen of Earth, you take her and it's kidnapping,"

"I'm sorry," and she sounded it which was completely hypocritical because how could she sound sorry for something she was well within her power to stop? She didn't have to take Lexy, she didn't have to leave. They could sort this out, they had too.

She closed the door, sliding the deadbolt into place and putting the key in the lock, turning it but not removing it. Leaving was the only option. If she left then she wouldn't have to deal with all this; with Nick and Daniel, with the questions and the funny looks because that's what was happening because Daniel could do no wrong. Daniel was a hero and she… she wasn't and because she wasn't she was the one at fault. Daniel couldn't see it, through no real mistake of his own, after all, how could she expect him to see that the people he would call friends were giving her the cold shoulder in their weird little way of protecting one of their own. It was admirable. It hurt.

"She's my daughter Vala! You…" his voice seemed to catch in his throat and she understood his panic and a part of her wanted to take it away, to just forget the fights and the arguments and the betrayal, to just go out there and tell him she hadn't meant it, "she's my daughter! Please, whatever else you do, please don't take that away from me,"

She'd hurt him, made him panic, was that enough? But it was for the best, if she didn't take Lexy with her then what kind of mother would that make her? And who would the child have when Daniel's luck ran out, when he didn't come back? She was the mother, she was meant to protect her daughter and if that meant hurting the father then so be it. She was saving Lexy the heartache of having to say goodbye.

The tears were flowing unbidden down her cheeks and she buried her face in her hands, sliding down the wall as her legs buckled and crying into her knees. It wasn't fair. He'd called her selfish and childish and she was, she knew she was, but he'd hurt her and if that meant locking him out both figuratively and literally then that was his fault, not hers.

If leaving and taking Lexy with her was the right thing to do then why did it hurt so much? Staying was so tempting, so tantalizing, the possibilities endless and wonderful but they meant hurt, they meant tears, and inevitably, they meant goodbye. People leave you if you don't leave first and in the long run, if you're the first to go it hurts less.

Lexy was a little girl, a baby, going later meant she might remember her father and Daniel, for all his faults, was a wonderful dad, there would be no way for Vala to justify taking that away from her daughter if she was old enough to recall who he was.

It would be easy to go outside, to pick up the pieces, apologise and let him back inside, and for a while it might be worth it but later, later it wouldn't be. There'd be another mission, another life threatening situation in which he would volunteer himself to be the sacrifice and they'd go through all of this again.

Actions have consequences. It was an equation she'd figured out long ago, laid in her bed as her father walked out the door again, leaving for another planet, another person to scam. If you drop a pebble into a pond, the ripples scatter across the top, a previously flat surface becomes distorted, reflections are morphed into ugly imitations of the original.

Wiping at her eyes she got to her feet as Lexy started crying again, moving over to her daughter's cot she lifted her into her arms, hugging the infant to her chest and rubbing reassuring circles on her back and whispering words that didn't make sense and held no real meaning into her soft golden brown hair.

Precious and beautiful, Lexy was all that and more. She didn't know right from wrong; she didn't know life from death. Her world was limited to what she could see, hear and touch, the fact that something could continue to exist outside the room she was in, was a concept she was still learning. She was lucky; she was young; she was innocent and Vala fully intended to keep her that way for as long as she could.

Lexy didn't need to go through everything her mother had, she didn't need to watch her parents fighting, her mother crying and her father walking away. She didn't need the heartbreak and the upset; she could live her life without the weaknesses presented by the audacity of love and the infidelity of goodbye. Her mother's mistakes need not become her own and it would be so easy to let her lead the life she had the right too.

But one day, one day she would be faced with the question _'mommy, why don't I have a daddy?' _she'd thought about it before, contemplated the scenario and disregarded the possibility because Daniel didn't deserve it. He still didn't, or maybe he did but that wasn't the point. The point was Lexy, what was best for the baby, not for her or for him, but for the tiny child for which they were accountable.

She was accused of being flighty, irresponsible and impulsive, the one people assumed to be the bad parent, who would leave her daughter unattended and defenceless. It never occurred to anyone that Daniel was worse. Whilst she might manipulate, steal and act without thinking for her own personal ends Daniel did it for 'the greater good', for millions of people who, if asked would respond 'Daniel who?'.

When he did it he was brave, righteous and dependable. When she did it she was vindictive, sly and negligent. Daniel was willing to leave behind his daughter so he could 'save the world'; all Vala wanted was to save her daughter.

It wasn't about the device, at first yes, because there was nothing she feared more than that machine, it hollowed you out, made you a shell of you you're supposed to be. It stole your body and paraded it in front of your friends so they could see what it'd done again and again and again. But it was what it symbolised more than anything else, it was the fact that even when she had changed so much to try and fit into Daniel's life he'd changed absolutely nothing to fit into hers.

Perhaps it wouldn't have hurt so much if he'd just stopped. For a split second just stopped and looked and thought about what it would do to everyone else. She understood that it was hard and she understood why he'd done it but that didn't mean that he should get of easy.

By not stopping he hadn't given anyone else the chance to stand up and say 'I'll do it'; he just ploughed ahead, and hadn't seen the turmoil and confusion he'd left behind.

By not looking he hadn't seen the tears and the hurt, he hadn't seen the faces fall and the hearts break, he hadn't seen dozens of lives come to a halt as he threatened to throw his away.

By not thinking it hadn't occurred to him that maybe he should stop, he should look, he'd kept going, taking the easy way out by not letting himself face the reality he was all too willing to leave behind.

* * *

Jack was on edge as he pulled up outside, taking the keys out of the ignition the hum of the engine cut out and he was left in a rapidly cooling vehicle less than twenty feet from Sam's front door. 

She hadn't said why she'd called, just asked him to come over as soon as he could, and for some reason he contemplated taking his gun out of the glove box but rationality won out and he left it where he was, besides if there was some sort of intruder inside the house and Sam hadn't managed to take them out, he knew exactly where she kept her weapon anyway. Taking a deep breath he climbed out of the truck, shut and locked the door at half the speed he normally did.

Ringing the doorbell he stood on the porch and waited for several minutes, at no response he tried again, rapping sharply on the door and calling through "Sam?"

The sound of someone walking down the hall preceded that of the door opening "Jack," she said softly, stepping aside "come in,"

"So what did you need?" Jack asked as he walked down the hall, mildly taken aback by the smells wafting through from the kitchen, eyes widening momentarily as he caught sight of the set table he turned around "Sam?"

She looked oddly vulnerable standing in the middle of her hall, dressed in casual jeans and a soft, cream coloured pullover, she was watching him carefully; almost but not quite catching his eye.

"Sam?"

She opened her mouth to speak, closed it and paused before "I'm sorry," she whispered, looking away and when he didn't reply she looked back; the smile on his face was enough to elicit one of her own.

* * *

Vala glanced at the clock on the nightstand, biting back a groan of irritation when she saw that it was barely passed one in the morning. Lying back for a moment she listened to the soft snuffles of her daughter's breathing, the steady beat instead of soothing her sent her into a spiral of thoughts. This wasn't right. 

She could leave without saying anything and… she owed him more than that. He _deserved_ more than that, maybe not an apology but at least a goodbye, something to say thank you… because even with all the bad things he had done so much for her, he had helped and protected her; he'd loved her. And when you love someone, you argue and you fight you do and say stupid things because you know they'll forgive you. What had gone wrong? Somewhere along the line something had happened that had made everything break apart.

Talking perhaps; they'd stopped talking and simply acted. They hadn't discussed things and for all it was an over used excuse, it was real and one of the most common causes for a relationship to end; a lack of communication. She hadn't said anything to him before allowing herself to be taken by Adria and he hadn't spoken to her before using Merlin's device. And in between all of that were a thousand other reasons, glitches and short cuts that had predictably ended in this… mess.

Slipping out of bed and pulling on her robe she went through to the living room, picking up the phone and slowly tapping in Daniel's cell phone number, as she finished she wondered what she was going to say, nothing or… she frowned as she heard a phone ringing out in the hall, the tone familiar.

Replacing the phone in the cradle she unlocked the front door and looked around, more than a little surprised when she saw Daniel sat against the wall, arms folded and resting on his knees and his head resting on his arms. Vala find herself smiling sympathetically, biting her lip in both hesitation and guilt. She couldn't do this; she couldn't just leave, not after everything or perhaps because of it.

She sat down next to him, letting herself mull over the millions of feelings rushing through her head and the more she thought the more she found herself wanting to just get up and close the door again; pretend like she'd never gotten out of bed just as that was about to happen she shook herself, putting an arm around his shoulders and kissing the back of his neck "Daniel," she whispered into his ear, running a tender finger down the side of his face "Daniel wake up,"

He stirred and lifted his head, wincing as his neck protested after having been in such an uncomfortable position for so long, "Vala?" he asked sleepily, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes before replacing them, he went to continue but she put a finger to his lips and he stopped.

"Don't," she whispered because she knew what he was going to say but he'd already said it, smiling at him, letting her hand move to cup his jaw before kissing him gently, a moment later she pulled back, eyes brimming with tears but she was still smiling through them "I'm so sorry," she breathed.

He went to reply but couldn't think of anything so settled for pulling her too him, hugging her as tight as he could and feeling a rush of delight as she hugged him back.

_Author's Notes: I took the 'next chapter' off of last chapter because it didn't fit, my plans have once more gone awry and it's gonna be a tiny bit longer than I thought so…_

_Next Chapter: Thor meets Lexy and Arthur's Mantle is finally fixed._


	69. Defining the Indefinite

_Author's Notes: This chapter was hard to write and ultimately inconvenient given everything else that's been going on for me at the moment. :P Hope you enjoy it. _

Chapter 69: Defining the Indefinite

Fear is the monster in your closet when your seven, the sudden noise in a silent house and the roaring hammer of your heart in your ears. It takes your breath away and makes your blood thrum through your veins so fast it makes you dizzy. It's surreal and absurd.

It has labels, masks and it hides behind these curtains because avoiding something abstract is awkward. Some people fear spiders, heights, or flying, thunderstorms, water or the dark, most are irrational, but we fear them anyway because fear needs to be real, tangible, you have to be able to sense it to fear it.

Ask someone who suffers from arachnophobia why they fear spiders and chances are their answers will be disjointed, confused; 'they have lots of legs' 'they move funny' but these responses are generic. After all if they fear a spider for the fact it has eight legs then why do octopi fail to elicit a similar response? Because this fear is illogical, most spiders are perfectly harmless.

Some fears are rational, and they do make sense, if you nearly drowned when you were a child a fear of water would make perfect sense, or if you knew someone who died in a plane crash and as a result you have a fear of flying. Fears like that make sense, they have foundation.

Vala feared abandonment, being left behind. Her father was not a man you could rely on, he was slippery and did as he pleased, he would tell you he loved you whilst walking out the door. Her mother had died when she was seventeen, for a long time after that she had hated her, despised the woman who dared to say she loved her as she lay on her death bed, surrendering to the disease that plagued her body. It hadn't been her fault, she'd tried but Vala had been a teenager, the people of her village ostracized her because her father was a back-stabbing cheat and her mother refused to listen to anyone who said a bad word about him.

Jacek's women had been cheap floozies he picked up on various planets around the galaxy, wearing ill-fitting, too-tight clothes and none of them accepting their age; either trying to look younger or older than they really were. Their insecurities set them at an immediate disadvantage and more so when they tried to assume the role of 'mother' to a girl who was barely six months younger than them.

Quetesh had not been a well-liked Goa'uld and what little power she had was strained and often undermined. In a way it had been a learning experience, trapped inside her own head Vala had learned ways to protect herself, to erect walls and blockades, she learnt to play mind games, how to dupe and trick and deceive without feeling the slightest bit guilty in process. It had worked.

The Tok'ra had been pleasant enough, direct and to the point, providing her with clothes, food and rest until their contingent passed through her home world. They had not been intrusive and seen to it that she was comfortable, they didn't share intelligence but she hadn't expected them too.

The art of cheating people had been one she had learned from her father, probably the only useful thing he had ever taught her but with her newly honed skills from Quetesh she rapidly managed to pull off deals ten times more successful than his, she lived out of pocket and rarely bartered for anything more than she actually needed, there were luxuries, of course there were, she was a young, pretty woman in a galaxy full of possibilities.

Riches were desired but inconvenient; there were various points through the Milky Way where she had stores, money, clothes and weapons. Just in case something happened; there was enough for her and Lexy to live off of for several months, but she couldn't leave, she didn't want to and all the arguments she had supplied for having to were falling just short of the justifiable.

Fear is often misconstrued as nerves or panic, the sensations are so similar it's hard to differentiate between them, confusion is also not unlike fear however it is marginally harder to blur the line between the two; it depends entirely on the situation and the people involved. The one she was most likely to be feeling right now was nervousness, however it was not improbable that it could be confusion as well because after letting Daniel back into the apartment neither of them had said a word to each other, and unfortunately, that had not been because they were sleeping.

The silence between them was thick and it was hard to tell if it was comfortable or not, the fact that she had to ask that question was probably enough of an indicator but that wasn't really the point. It was angry, she was too on edge to be angry and Daniel too tired but that wasn't to say there wasn't some contempt lingering in the midst of it all.

Taking a deep breath she picked up the two mugs in front of her and headed back to the bedroom "coffee," she said softly, pushing off the door frame when he turned his head a fraction before looking back down at their sleeping daughter. Handing him the coffee she pondered on the best way to breach the silence, she was almost relieved when he did.

"When will you be back?"

"What?"

He didn't look up and didn't say anything else and it was several seconds before it occurred to her.

"Daniel!" she breathed in surprise "no… I…" she paused, studying Lexy carefully "I'm not going," she said thickly, the cruel pang of emotional nausea seizing her stomach; that horrible kind of sick that makes you want to throw up when there's no real need, the sort that only people who get too close can induce.

Risks. It was always about risks. She'd taken a risk by staying, by letting him get under skin, letting herself want him, by laughing and joking and talking, by being his soundboard and even once or twice, his confidante. Marriage was a strange ritual, one that means less and less the more types you see, there're several different types on Earth alone, all relevant to their religion, then as you go further and further out amongst the stars you realise all marriage is, is a public declaration of love which in itself is patchy and shrewd, after all, how exactly do you define 'love'?

Love is flying and falling all at once. It's the candle that survives the hurricane; it's the newborn child in the delivery room. It's up and it's down, left, right and back to front. Love is everything imagined and ten times what isn't. Love doesn't make sense, love just is.

We spend our entire lives trying to figure it out, take it apart and analyse it; give it a scientific explanation but we can't and we won't. Because love is a science so exact it can't be dissected, it's everything good and right in the world and is brighter than the sun itself and darker than the deepest cavern.

Love is the epitome of perfection; something we strive for but never reach; the ribbon at the finish line, the trophy on the mantle. It's indefinable, uncontrollable, and relentless; inconvenient, thoughtless and challenging; pushing you further and harder than anything else you could encounter. Love is love; an abstract state whose label is the only thing pure enough to describe it.

You fall hard and fast for the one person you know you shouldn't, the one person that makes it a hundred times more complicated. You shouldn't, you wouldn't and you can't but you do and that's when it becomes difficult because you're breaking every rule you ever set for yourself, every boundary you were ever shown, every law of physics and basic fact that should prevent you from even contemplating such a possibility. It doesn't make sense because you're breaking convention and getting caught is something you cannot bring yourself to care about.

You can't stop thinking about them, they're there, all the time and they won't go away, and part of you wonders whether or not it's ethical for you to obsessing over them in that way. Is it lust or is it love? Where's the line? The pivotal point between thinking someone's cute and wanting to spend a considerable part of your life with them? What if you know it's going to end, that it won't last, that sooner rather than later they'll leave and you'll be left standing in the dust as they go forwards into a new life, a new adventure; one where you're not in it? Is it worth it then?

You don't know, probably not, you think, but you try anyway, even when there's a voice in your head screaming for you to stop and you want too, you want to listen to that voice because it has kept you safe for so long but out of the blue your heart takes control, and the connection between it and your brain is shaky so the communications are unclear; is this real? Do you actually like this person or is it just a farfetched fantasy brought on by loneliness or trauma; a need to just have _someone_ who likes you for what and who you are, who doesn't expect you to change, who thinks that you're pretty and funny and witty and actually wants to do more than just have sex with you.

So you reach out, hug them when they're down, smile when they crack a joke, laugh when they laugh, you talk for hours about nothing and yet for the stupidest reason those conversations become critical. You ask questions, make statements, offer small pieces of yourself in the hope that they'll give something in return and when they do you still can't accept it, you still think that maybe they're just being nice or they don't mean it in the way you want them too, or, God forbid, they're laughing at you when you leave.

The nausea sets in and it won't go away, because that's part of falling, the uncertainty is terrifying, the edge is dark and way too brittle, suddenly you develop a fear of heights and you want to step back but something's pushing you to go further and you resist. Why should you be the one to make the mistake? To risk everything and then some when they look at you sceptically and even if they grin afterwards, that look is what sticks in your mind, it's what keeps you awake, what makes your stomach twist in knots and you smiles to become hesitant.

It's unfair to expect them to read your mind, to know how you feel and what your thinking but you can't help being selfish; after all, you couldn't possibly make it more obvious. You know they probably feel the same way; that they're more than likely loosing sleep same as you are, having detailed dreams that they don't want to wake from because in that world, in that wonderful land of dreams, everything is as it should be, it's just the two of you and there's no nerves or embarrassment, no uncertainty, everything's clear and pure and it feels so unbelievably real that if it were possible in this paradise, it would hurt.

And even when you wake up, and find that whilst the dreams weren't real, the fact that they've expressed how they feel too, you still doubt it's sincerity, you still don't know where to put yourself, if anything it gets worse, you don't want to hug them in case that's to quick, every smile is measured and careful, eye contact is impossible because you don't know how long to hold it for and questions have double meanings and undertones that they didn't before.

The smart guy, the tough guy, the flirt, the conversationalist; the bookworm, the soldier, the extrovert; the shy one, the one-night-stand, the friend or the funny man; it doesn't matter which, someone, somewhere, will fall and most of the time they won't get caught. She'd fallen, he'd caught her all that was left was for her to take the leap again; to jump, he was there, he was _always_ there.

She'd taken a risk by threatening to leave; in spite of everything could she realistically be a single mother? And she was risking everything by letting him back because sometimes things just can't be fixed, no matter how much you want them too, they just hang, thick and heavy overhead, waiting for that perfect moment to shatter the bridge of ice you've managed to build between you. Maybe they were a lost cause and she was just staving off the inevitable by going back… maybe it was worth it.

He looked at her "but…"

"I can't Daniel," she found herself continuing "I just… I wanted to scare you I guess," she trailed off, voice low and almost inaudible.

There were a million things she ought to say and a thousand things she shouldn't. Sometimes saying nothing at all is better than all the words in the world. Sometimes what you feel doesn't matter, what you want is out of reach; sometimes you can't forgive no matter how hard you try or how much you want too.

Loving unconditionally is next to impossible; you can only worship those you've never met because worship and love are two totally different things. To worship is to love unquestioningly and uncritically or to an excess; to venerate as an idol. To love is to feel a warm personal attachment or deep affection as for parent, child, friend or lover.

These dictionary definitions fail to take into account the fact that whilst they are fundamentally correct they inexorably ignore the fact that a huge part of loving someone is hating them as well. Having the capability to scream and yell and curse them, of wishing them a thousand miles away and begging for someone to make it stop because you do want that and it's presumptuous to think that you can spend every waking second with that one person for the rest of your life.

Worship is cold and distant, you don't accept the mistakes; you ignore them. Love is searching for and finding those mistakes and acknowledging their existence, accepting them as part of the person you've been crazy enough to fall in love with.

"I want to stay," she looked at the coffee in her hands, instant, she should have used the machine.

He nodded and the silence that followed was somewhat more companionable than the last, "I can't believe she's nearly a year old," he whispered, smiling softly at the still slumbering child.

Stepping closer, and when he didn't object, leaning hesitantly against him she was subsequently surprised when his arm wrapped gently around her shoulders in a kind of half hug. She could think of nothing to say and so decided on simply smiling fondly instead; sometimes, she thought, silence is enough.

* * *

The commissary was a hive of activity, the clatter of trays on tables and forks on plates provided a base note for the hum and buzz of voices as Air Force, Marines and civilians alike sat down for lunch.

"Vala!" Jacek slid into a seat next to her in a seamless movement.

"Jacek," she said curtly, reaching for her bottle of water and making a point of taking several long sips before replacing the cap.

"Well aren't you going to introduce us?"

She eyed her father sceptically, glancing almost apologetically at Daniel as he juggled trying to eat his own lunch whilst feeding Lexy at the same time "Jacek this is Daniel, Daniel this is my father,"

Jacek stuck his hand out clumsily and gave Daniel a beaming grin as the younger man shook it hesitantly "wonderful to meet you at last Daniel!" he exclaimed, reclaiming his hand and tickling his granddaughter under the chin until the infant gave the sincere impression she was going to either bite or sick on him "quite the hero from what I've heard,"

"Uh…" he glanced helplessly at his wife as she studiously continued eating "I wouldn't call it that…"

His father-in-law seemed to have lost interest as his gaze wandered and a moment later his piercing eyes turned to fix on him again "did Vala ever tell you about the time she…"

* * *

"There," Mckay announced with a flourish, spinning his laptop around so Sam and Thor could see it as well "see?"

Sam gave him a terse smile, after a while you grew numb to the arrogant astrophysicists proclamations which was all the more easy when he kept either – not that he would ever admit it – failing or tying himself in knots over calculations that she had already performed at least three times before. It only became irritating when he was actually right. She had no qualms with being corrected, so long as it was done courteously or with some ounce of tact, Mckay did neither and never would.

"Well done Doctor Mckay," Thor said in his usual slow and hypnotic tone of voice before turning back to Sam "the power requirements for this device are very specific, the Asguard may be able to fashion a source but it could take several days and we do not have all of our resources available to us aboard our ship,"

"No need," Sam said, scrutinising her colleague's computer screen

Mckay frowned "what?"

"We use the crystal from a Prior's staff,"

He gave her a sarcastic look "and where exactly are we going to get one of those? Ask him if we can borrow it? That'd be like asking a Wraith to go vegetarian,"

Amused by the analogy Sam smirked "the SGC has one in storage,"

* * *

"... and she came back into the house covered from head to toe in-"

"We did it," Sam announced almost breathlessly, taking a seat at the table.

"Did what?" Vala asked, grateful for the interruption.

"We have managed to find a suitable power source for the Ancient shielding device," Thor hummed, peering almost curiously around the commissary.

"Gah!" Lexy cried, spotting the little grey alien "icky gah!" she smashed her plastic spoon down onto the table, the diced banana on the little plate in front of her creating a mushy mess as she pounded it.

"Hey," Daniel pried the utensil from her hands "you don't need to do that do you?"

"Icky!" she said resuming hit the table only this time with her hands "gah icky, icky!"

"Where's Doctor Mckay?" Jacek asked conversationally, shooting a winning smile at his granddaughter.

"He's stayed in the lab," Sam said, dutifully assisting Daniel in attempting to clean up some of the mess Lexy has made.

"'kay!" Lexy cried out in delight "'kay! Lub 'kay!" she clapped her hands together happily, a cheery smile plastered across her rosy cheeks "lub 'kay!"

"She seems to have developed some sort of liking for him," Sam observed dryly, it was almost amusing thinking about it; Mckay didn't like children, more than likely because as ninety-nine-point-nine percent of adults failed to make it into the vicinity of 'worth talking too' kids were even less likely to be able to relate to him.

However for some bizarre reason children seemed to just gravitate towards the man; first Madison, now Lexy and if the tales she had heard from Pegasus were try, half the Athosian infants as well.

"'kay!" she continued to chant "'kay, 'kay!"

"Mckay's busy at the moment," Sam coaxed gently, as the baby's voice began to grow in volume "how about you say hello to Thor?"

Thor blinked at Sam nonchalantly and cocked his head to one side as the a set of bright blue eyes fixed on him, some what used to Earth custom now he held out his hand in greeting to the child. Perhaps if he were to introduce himself to the baby she would stop the incessant recital of Doctor Mckay's name.

The feat looked promising as Lexy held out her own hand, wrapping her tiny palm around one of the alien's long fingers and scrutinising it in an almost comical fashion, before, as all baby's will do, pulling the appendage into her mouth and biting hard.

Thor let out an odd noise of surprise and his face contorted into what presumably was a grimace as Sam manoeuvre his finger free of her God-daughter's mouth.

"Gah!" Lexy exclaimed, her little face screwed up in disgust "icky! Icky! Icky! Icky!" she stuck out her tongue and clumsily rubbed it with her own hand "gah icky!"

Vala couldn't help but laugh and when it became apparent that Thor was not offended merely confused by the girl's behaviour the others joined in; Lexy's adamants that Thor tasted 'icky' causing several more people in the commissary to fall about laughing.

Their mirth was interrupted a moment later as an airman approached their table, his face strictly impassive "Doctor Jackson you need to report to the infirmary,"

"Why?"

"Doctor Lam's orders sir," was all the airman was able to add, he nodded politely as Daniel thanked him before departing as abruptly as he had arrived.

_Author's Notes: Last chapter changed again (sorry!) but I'm at that point where everything is taking twice as long as it should to actually happen lol. Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming:D _

_Next Chapter: Jacek's reasons for coming to Earth are revealed, __Moira's man in blue might be more than a figment of her imagination and the Asguard's stay comes to an end._


	70. Incandescence

_Disclaimer: Excerpts from Family Ties transcript are not mine, just borrowing 'coz they're better at this than me :P_

_Author's Notes: Well 2008 has certainly got off to one hell of a start!! January was hectic enough and February isn't turning out to be much better – it's not necessarily bad stuff, some of its quite good it's just time consuming and at times rather distracting!! But it's half-term now __and I should be trying to make a dent in my mountain of homework... but oddly this is far more interesting!! Lol._

Chapter 70: Incandescence

This was wrong; completely wrong. Twelve hours ago he'd been fine, he'd had an Ancient in his head but he was… he'd been okay. Now… now he wasn't.

His skin was wrinkled and almost translucent, his hair thinning and had suitably more grey in it than he'd had the previous night; his handsome face was becoming weathered and worn once more and after everything… why now? Why him? The failsafe was useless, it wasn't reliable or foolproof and it didn't guarantee anything. He'd used it and gotten amnesia; Nick used it and was aging so fast it was likely he'd be dead by sundown. It didn't save you, it condemned you.

So having Merlin in his head wasn't killing his grandfather, no, it was old age, the simple betrayal of mind over body, of being old and weary when he shouldn't have been. His chest was showing signs of a viral infection that he should have been able to fight off but for some reason his immune system just wasn't kicking in as it should be – like the white blood cells were dying too.

How? How could he save them all, destroy the most formidable opponent they had ever faced and yet be dying of the flu for crying out loud? A stupid, pathetic, garden-variety cold. Daniel slumped in his chair, burying his head in his hands and pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes.

Vala paused but didn't stop for long as she entered the infirmary, taking in the sight of Nick's rapidly aging form on the bed her eyes widened and she almost took a step towards her husband but thought better of it. They still had a lot to talk about and there was much hanging in the air, chances are he wouldn't want her intruding on this and even if he didn't think so, she was acutely aware of how much it could be considered to be her fault that he was there in the first place.

Beckett gestured her over and Carolyn looked up from the file she was studying when she saw who her colleague was gesturing too, glancing intermittently at Daniel, Vala hurried over to the other side of the infirmary.

"What's happening? What's wrong?" she said, almost tripping over her words in the rush to get them out.

Beckett glanced at Carolyn as if searching for something, it seemed that they came to some sort of unspoken agreement as the Scot slipped away with a "excuse me love," and bustled quietly away to attend a patient.

Carolyn took a steadying breath "the failsafe _is_ working," she assured Vala slowly.

"It doesn't look like it," the brunette countered.

"From his stats, latest test results and a small amount of speculation…" why was she even bothering to try and _sound_ like she knew what was she was doing? She didn't and there was no realistic way she could. Nick didn't have a sickness, he was dying, multiple organ degeneration – lungs, liver, kidneys, another hour or two and they'd be looking at dialysis. She could treat his symptoms and make him as comfortable as she could so technically was sick but just didn't have any diagnosable illness that she could cure… it never got easy "Quetzalcoatl gave Nick the location of the San Graal, information about the Ori and God only knows what else kind of data. They hid it in his mind and genetically modified his body to help conceal it and him,"

Vala nodded.

"Reversing his age was risky at best; I don't care how advanced they are, and in any case I think it was only meant to be temporary,"

"What're you saying?"

"The Ori are gone, the San Graal found, fixed and destroyed; there's no need for him to hide any more,"

"So that's it?" she swallowed thickly "he's just going to die?"

"Normally," she continued methodically "I would guess not but it seems the failsafe – for lack of a better term – implemented by Quetzalcoatl is reacting with the one Merlin used,"

Vala frowned.

Carolyn sighed "when Nick first came here from Oregon Doctor Fraiser took some tests of her own, I did the same when he returned here two years ago," she flicked open the file in her hands, holding the two charts against one another "you see a new protein marker here?" she gestured to the later set of tests.

"Uh huh," Vala said patiently.

Reaching for another file entitled 'Jackson, Doctor Daniel, PhD' she pulled a chart from it and moved over to a nearby empty bed, laying the three sheets out "I took this from Daniel shortly after he was admitted to the infirmary with Merlin, now of course there are marginal differences but…" she pointed "you see the marker?"

Vala nodded, brow creasing a little in concentration.

She pulled yet another sheet out "now look at this," pointing, Carolyn explained what she was showing the other woman "the marker from Merlin is attacking the one from Quetzalcoatl," she gathered the sheets together again "and vice versa; effectively neutralizing the effects of both the genetic modification and Merlin's presence, however they've done it so fast that it's backfiring – he's ageing too fast for his body to handle it. It's as if the fail safes are competing with one another for control but in doing so they're neglecting major system requirements,"

"So what do we do? Can you give him something for it?"

Carolyn shook her head "I can't do anything but treat his symptoms but he's already way over his maximum doses for morphine, he had a seizure about twenty minutes before you got here so I had to give him diazepam for that… if his immune system doesn't kick in soon…" she trailed off, blinking almost owlishly at Vala, silently pleading for her to understand without her having to explain in excruciating detail how precisely that was going to happen.

Vala nodded swiftly, dark curls bobbing with an enthusiasm that was both ironic and inappropriate, blinking she swallowed against the lump in her throat as she tried to think of something she could do or say to Daniel that would make any of these that bit easier. She couldn't, she shouldn't, but she wanted too. He looked up and she was startled to find him staring at her, she smiled a little, unsure as to whether or not it was a suitable reaction; it seemed to be so when his lips twitched into a tiny smile in response before he returned to his stoic vigil of his grandfather's rapidly deteriorating body.

* * *

Sam sighed, looking at her computer monitor, looking up for a moment she scrambled out of her seat as she saw Vala walk down the corridor, a bright smile on her face that too most would seem genuine but Sam herself, knew was just a façade to try and make everyone feel better.

"Vala!" she exclaimed, and the brunette doubled back "I think you're gonna want to see this," she beckoned her into the lab and twisted the monitor a little so she had a better view of the screen "I found this on the internet,"

The image jolted before the buffer zoomed to the end and Jacek flickered to life on screen, his brightly colored suit was garish and clashed horrifically with the cheesy visual effects, the awfully catchy jingle and the cheap props that surrounded him.

"_It's time to tap into the source by unlocking the power of stardust!" he laughed "Yes, genuine stardust…"_

A pair of perfectly manicured hands appeared and focused attention on the vials on the table next to him. Sam glanced sideways as she saw her friend stiffen and her eyes narrow. She wasn't trying to be cruel; she just thought the other woman deserved to know.

"_The very same stardust celebrities and professional athletes use to tap into the power of the alpha force – the core energy of the universe. Tap into the source. Each specially treated vial contains four full grams of authentic star dust for only nineteen-ninety-five! That's only nineteen dollars and ninety-five cents for a vial of genuine stardust…!"_

A blinking '49.95' was crossed out on screen and replaced with '19.95' and Vala took a calming breath and walked away from the monitor with a determined gait, Sam watched her friend leave with a sympathetic look on her face, she opened her mouth to say something but when she could think of nothing decided on silence.

"_Tap into the source!" Jacek exclaimed "order now!"_

Glaring at the man on the computer she jabbed the 'x' button and the player closed.

* * *

Cam observed the man in front of him, Jacek was lounging in the chair at the briefing room desk, his casual shirt was unique to say the least; proudly sported a bold print of varying species of fish. Slumping a little on the desk but trying not to look any less intimidating he clicked the off button on the remote, he raised an eyebrow and looked at Jacek as he squirmed a little in his chair.

"Huh," he said trying to regain composure "it wasn't real stardust," he said.

"That's the point," Cam said resolutely "you're running a scam,"

Jacek grinned daringly "well, now that's a matter of interpretation. The way I see it, I'm selling people 'hope',"

"No," Mitchell said, breathing persistently through his nose to try and control his temper "you're selling glitter shavings in a tube for twenty bucks a pop,"

Jacek put a finger up "ah, plus shipping and handling,"

"Look," he continued, gritting his teeth as his shoulder twinged "you are a guest on this planet and as long as you are a 'guest' you're gonna follow some rules!"

"Oh come on," Jacek said, feeling the familiar burn of restriction grasp at his chest "a guy's gotta make a living Next thing you know, you're gonna tell me I can't publish my diet book!" switching abruptly into his sales routine "It's an eat for your eye color diet – I just lined up a publisher!"

"We're killing the book deal," he deadpanned "and if you keep this up, the next deal we kill is gonna be the one with you!"

Jacek glared at him "fine!" he jumped to his feet "no more scams," his frustration was evident.

"Teal'c is waiting to escort you out,"

Jacek sighed "yes. I…" he sounded forced "I appreciate this second chance,"

"Third chance," Cam corrected.

"Are you sure?" Jacek frowned "I could have sworn it was… oh right," he chuckled and slapped Mitchell on the shoulder as he passed.

* * *

"May I offer you a word of advice?" Teal'c said slowly.

Jacek grinned at a passing female airman "hello," he said charmingly, then too Teal'c "any input that would help me better myself would be greatly appreciated,"

Teal'c ran his access card to summon the elevator before turning back to the conman "perhaps three words," he said cryptically "be less annoying. If you have no intention of reforming your ways, which I suspect that you do not, perhaps it is best that have nothing more to do with your daughter,"

Jacek's eyes narrowed "Let me telling you something big boy! My daughter and I have an understanding! An unspoken bond that…" he trailed off, his tone becoming far less belligerent as Teal'c glowered at him, squaring up to the other man, "she'll get over it," he said, then spotted Vala as she rounded the corner "Vala!" he cried "are you free on Friday night? Say yes. I got two tickers to this 'Virginia Dialogues' show. I don't know how much about it, but the tickets are very hard to get,"

Vala froze when she spotted her father, continuing to walk pointedly, mortified and hunching her shoulders as she tried to make herself as small as possible. She moved down the corridor. The elevator door opened and Teal'c stepped inside, holding the door for Jacek.

"Oh, to think I was just starting to believe in you!" she accused him, stomping her feet as she climbed the stairs, determinedly looking forward.

"I'm trying to change!" he called after her "it's an ongoing process!" he sighed then noticed that Teal'c was holding the elevator door open, he stepped quickly inside "so what are you doing Friday night?" he asked the jaffa, who gave him an odd look as the elevator doors slid to a close.

* * *

Vala knocked lightly on the door to Daniel's office; peering in and trying not to look as awkward as she felt. He was sat at his desk, head resting in his hands as he stared blankly at the floor just the other side of his desk "hey," she said softly, smiling a little as she hovered in the doorjamb, she tried to catch his eye but her stomach felt heavy and the effort was only half-hearted.

"Hey," he replied absently, suddenly leaping back into action, blinking rapidly at the array of papers on his desk and marking something off on the sheet in front of him then frowning as if he couldn't understand why he'd done it.

He was distracted again and perhaps she was grateful for it; in her experience staring blankly off into space was hardly conducive to keeping calm and of course the last thing she could imagine going through Daniel's head was anything even nearing serene, he could pretend but that didn't mean a thing. Daniel was good at pretending, at acting like nothing was wrong, that's why so many people thought he was innocent, naïve little Daniel who saved the world so often it was second nature; who was too sweet and perfect to tell the difference between stupidity and heroism.

They were wrong, he was jaded and weary of a world out to kill itself, he pretended because he had too, because if he didn't there would be little point in anything, if he put on the brave face then maybe he would be able to fake seeing a world worth saving; she'd seen his defeat, his desperate struggle to prove that fact to himself even when the odds and evidence were higher than mountains. If he distracted himself from Nick he wouldn't have to face it for a few more hours; she could let him do that.

"I'll um… be…" she turned, not bothering to finish her sentence not because she didn't know how but because watching him, knowing how hard he was trying to be the Daniel that everyone but him seemed to remember was painful.

He remembered some sure, a lot, the big details but the small ones, the ones that made him, him, were still so far away, how much longer before he had that to fall back on? She was still mad at him, still crazy furious but it was ebbing, fading with every second that she watched this drama unfold, should she let it? Or should she hold onto the anger until he was himself enough to face it?

She shouldn't resent him for it. For not remembering, she knew that, but that didn't mean that a part of her didn't feel… betrayed. Promises mean nothing; she'd grown up realizing that. Jacek was the reason for every suspicion she had of them; scamming and pretending is easy when you don't trust anyone at all, but then Daniel had come along and changed that. Made it seem worth while; trusting again even when he'd betrayed that trust by willingly walking into a suicide mission that he had so very nearly not come back from, and then being so eager to do it all over again.

However, even knowing that, knowing that she was as much to blame as him, and knowing where the roots of her insecurities lay it was still hard having to constantly remind herself that he'd meant it. Forever was a long time and the only other person to have ever promised her that had disappeared two weeks later, never to contact her again. Daniel hadn't promised her forever because forever is unfathomable. He'd said always. Always means far more than forever.

"Vala," he looked up, then frowning a little before fading into an expression of forced apathy "uh… have a seat please?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, and hesitated for a second, trying to gauge the situation but unable to get a read on it she obeyed; she could be his distraction. Pulling out a stool and taking her designated seat she waited patiently for him to finish gathering his notes and put them to one side.

"How're you doing?" He asked; he sounded almost like McKenzie; meddling pseudo-psychic bastard.

Tensing a little she replied carefully "fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

He paused, this was more difficult than he had anticipated "well… you're obviously…" he searched for the right word "disappointed,"

Was it just her or was he not making sense? What did she have to be disappointed about? Nick? No, disappointment didn't even begin to touch what she was feeling about him… despair, upset, anxiety even nausea, but disappointed? He'd done. Saved the universe, proud yes, disappointed? No.

Daniel was still looking at her, an expectant but soft look on his face and so she tried yet again to think of what he could be referring to and it took several excruciating minutes for it to occur to her "Jacek?" she half-asked and from the look he set her, her response was correct "oh right! Yeah… uh no," she shook her head in confusion "not in Jacek. His actions didn't really surprise me. More in myself for ever considering the possibility that he might be telling the truth," she could only hope her voice hadn't caught as she'd said it because it had and that was wrong; he should never have caught her off guard like that.

It wasn't that Jacek had completely slipped her mind or that she had docilely let him slip from her mind, it was just surprising to say the least that Daniel had found out so quickly but after a moment's contemplation it wasn't really that much of a shock. Perhaps that was the reason she was mad at him? Not just for betraying her trust and lying to her again, but for… embarrassing her in front of her friends, her _family_. Huh; who'd have thought it?

"Maybe he was," he answered quietly, studying her in that silent little way of his, with his head cocked to one side, blue eyes wide and imploring.

"No," she snapped definitely, "he lied. He said he was trying to change," and no matter how hard he tried; the hurt little girl was always there, waiting and hiding, determined and innocent with a naivety she was still unsure had ever existed.

"Well change isn't easy," Daniel replied "I think you of all people should know that."

Her eyes narrowed marginally. That was low but understandable, conceivable even. But she'd have expected it from Cameron, maybe Sam, possibly even Teal'c or Nick but not Daniel. She dropped her guard around him; that was the whole point "right," she laughed acidly "so you want to draw parallels between him and I; our equally disreputable pasts; our similar desires to reform,"

"Yeah," he said almost coldly "there's that,"

He had a point and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to make. Okay, so Vala had father issues; there was no surprise there fore there were very few people wit whom she did not have issues but if she could expect everyone to forgive her and believe her abrupt desire to clean up her act then it was hardly fair for her not to do the same for Jacek. He wasn't defending him, he didn't know enough about his father-in-law to do that but he firmly believe in second chances and surely if anyone deserved one it was family?

"Daniel, I'm a different person than I was four years ago because I genuinely wanted to change," and she had, watching SG1, observing them through the proverbial glass, the need to be integrated into their family was irrepressible. At first it had scared her but the further she pulled away the more they sucked her in. "I didn't see it as a means of escape," she got to her feet, needing the leverage because being level with him made her feel small and vulnerable, the walls need to be rebuilt but it was taking too long; Daniel helped her build those walls but now he was knocking them down, the words, his actions and the look on his face were getting to her, hitting too close.

"No," he agreed and she let loose a breath she hadn't known she was holding "so you're telling me your decision had nothing to do with the desire to stop running and live a semi-normal life?"

Normal? She didn't know what that was.

Everything she'd been through since coming to Earth… that wasn't normal. Tests of resilience, trust and emotional stability, if that were normal, half of this planet would fail.

"You don't know Jacek the way I do," the need to have him side with her was overwhelming, there was no reason he should oppose her.

She was his wife. Surely he word should be valued higher than that of a man who had just strolled into their lives with an ease that was sickening and had her on a cliff edge she hadn't been on in years. Sure she and Daniel were still dealing with the aftermath of the biggest argument she had ever had the misfortune to be sucked into but even then… through thick and thin, wasn't that how it was supposed to work?

"…_f__or better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part…"_

"No, you're right,"

Vala knew there was more. He wouldn't just agree like that, it was too much to hope for.

"In fact, you probably know him better than you think. After all, you better than anybody must know what it's like to have to resist the temptation of falling back on your old ways,"

She felt dirty and wrong, broken into pieces and stuck back together upside down. Like a junkie, a prostitute, a filthy tramp riddled with guilt; what gave him the right to make her feel like that? Tears pricked her eyelids like tiny needles and he must have noticed because he continued.

"I'm sure it hasn't been easy for you either,"

She swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked harshly. This wasn't far. None of it was fair. Every time things started working themselves out. Every time she neared happiness, something happened to steal it all away again. First Nanith and Akhiyaa and the fallout from that, then Adria, then Merlin, then the amnesia, then Nick, now her father; it was like a cheesy soap opera but without the 'whodunit' mysteries and the under-the-table drug dealing. There'd even been a car crash to boot. "I've tried Daniel," she said earnestly "I've tried really hard,"

"I know,"

"I've done everything,"

"You have,"

"Then why are you so determined that I trust him?"

"Because he's your father," he said simply, his voice soft and verging on pleading "and I think he deserves a second chance,"

"Well I don't,"

He was silent and it infuriated her.

"I never even met him until I was nearly three years old," she said "he was at four of my birthdays after that. My mother and I had to protect him, lie for him and hide for years. He'd disappear for months at a time and we never knew where and you know what? I actually looked _forward _to him returning," she bit her lip like it was a secret she hadn't meant to let slip "every time," she paused, whether for dramatic effect or because she wasn't sure what to say next she didn't know "you can't tell me what that's like,"

"My father died when I was eight," he deadpanned.

She thought that he might have more to say and for a second it seemed that so did he but he didn't continued. She'd known that and as much as she hated it she could feel the desire she'd been ignoring because wasn't the adult in her speaking, to go and see father burning in her chest. Even if it was in guilt. Even if it was only for Daniel.

"Jacek... Jacek is different," she whispered.

"Maybe more than you know," he smiled at her encouragingly and any uncertainties she had regarding the uncomfortable silence that had followed what he had previously said disappeared as she couldn't help but give a tiny smile in return.

* * *

He was still quiet; the ventilator still hissed and whirred as she took a seat next to the bed, the two EEG monitors showed the jagged lines demonstrating his and Nick's brain activity; it was a small comfort that the one with 'Merlin' tacked to the bottom of the screen was showing rapidly less movement than the one that said 'Nick'.

Vala opened her mouth to say something but when no words came she settled for swallowing against the lump in her throat and reaching for his hand as it lay motionless on the crisp white infirmary sheets, she hesitated before making contact with his wrinkled skin, as if she was loathe to even contemplate coming into contact with his knarled and bony hands, as if he would break if she dared. Berating herself for even thinking such a thing she took his hand, but not without reverence.

There wasn't that much to say really or maybe there was but how was she supposed to say it? She couldn't just blurt it out, that wouldn't be right and besides, half the things she wanted to say would be clichéd anyway because really, was she sorry and did she forgive him or was that just the grief talking? It irked her that she could no longer tell the difference.

Nick was a man swathed in mystery, deception and lies he and Jacek were alike in so many ways but different in many more. Nick was selfish, conceited and manipulative, Jacek was the same but there was one resounding difference between the two of them and that was that Nick comprehended the necessity of compassion, Jacek was hollow, he felt nothing more than the cruel burn of money in his pocket on the rare occasion he hadn't gambled it all away. How could two men so similar elicit responses so different to each other?

Jacek did not admit to his mistakes, not truly, he made excuses, reasons for his less than morally appropriate actions, with Jacek there was always a 'but'. With Nick… Nick admitted to his humanity, he made mistakes and whilst he rarely – if ever – apologized for them he knew they were there and had no real qualm with his errors being pointed out.

She swallowed and wrapped her other hand around his so they tepid warmth of his fingers were enclosed by both of her subsequently warmer palms; she frowned when she felt it twitch between her fingers and squeezed his hand gently subconsciously, he squeezed back and she went to drop his hand, jaw dropped in surprise when his hold tightened and she couldn't let go.

"Nick?" Vala whispered when his eyes flickered open.

He stared at her, went to speak and found himself almost choking on the tube lodged in his throat.

"Hang on," she said "Doctor Lam!" she cried out, glancing wildly around the infirmary "Doctor Beckett!"

Beckett cam scurrying over almost instantly "Doctor Lam's in surgery at the moment love-" his eyes widened in shock and he hesitated for barely a moment before moving over to the head of the bed "Doctor Ballard," he pulled his penlight out of his pocket "it's good to be seein' ya again,"

Nick gestured to his throat with his hand connected to the IV, the line grew taut and Beckett immediately put his penlight away and caught hold of his wrist "easy there," he said, gentle fingers deftly undoing the straps holding the ventilator tube in place "relax… that's it…" he coaxed, removing the tube and placing it to one side, he handed his patient a cup of ice chips and let him swallow a few before continuing "how're ye feelin'?"

"Fine," Nick croaked, trying to push himself into a sitting position and failing miserably until both Vala and Beckett repositioned his pillows "Sam and Jack?" he asked suddenly "are they…?"

"They're fine," Vala assured him, finally able to free her hands from his grip.

Nick breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"Now," Beckett said "I need to ask ye some questions-"

Nick rolled his eyes and then smiled sarcastically at the Scottish doctor "fire away,"

* * *

"Colonel Carter," Thor's soft voice drifted through from the hall and Sam looked up, easily spotting the little grey alien silhouetted in the doorway.

"Thor," she replied, smiling "what can I do for you?"

"The Daniel Jackson has been repaired," he said slowly "it is time for us to leave,"

"Oh," Sam answered "now?"

"Indeed,"

"It was nice having you," she said, uncertain of precisely what else to say.

"It was nice being here," he echoed her statement with an equal amount of hesitation "your stand against the Ori is an admirable one; however we fear that the battle has only just begun. The San Graal may have destroyed the Ori but a much greater threat is now facing the universe. It will be a combined effort to defeat it,"

Sam nodded.

"For now I must depart, I will contact General O'Neill when I have news of the summit,"

She opened her mouth to question him further but no sooner had he finished the sentence than he disappeared in a glow of light, the familiar buzz of the beaming technology reverberated around her lab.

"Huh," Mckay said, looking at the spot Thor had just vacated "nice of him to be so clear,"

Sam gave him the courtesy of rolling her eyes at him before returning to her workstation.

* * *

"I should get Daniel," Vala said, trying for the third time to slip away from Nick's bedside but once more the eagle-eyed doctor stopped her.

"Not yet," Nick said and he sounded weary, exhausted even, like he'd had enough of everything around him "there is something I need to talk to you about,"

Gingerly she retook her seat, watching him suspiciously "what?"

"I presume Daniel has told you about me,"

Deciding the least offensive way to reply was "a little," Vala remained as cryptic as possible.

He chortled "there was no excuse for leaving him the way I did," he said "I'm not going to waste my time telling you that there was, I should have taken him but I spent most of my life absorbed by my work, family always came second to it,"

She nodded curtly.

"My wife – Daniel's grandmother – and I divorced in the May of 1971. Claire and Melburn died two years later," he paused, looking at his hands, examining the IV with an absurd amount of fascination "thirty-seven years… huh," he shook his head "Moira passed away a couple of months ago,"

"I'm sorry," she said, because she was, she wasn't sure entirely why because she had never met the woman.

Nick smiled tightly in gratitude "she would have loved you;" he said insistently "oh you and her would have had so much in common,"

She felt a swell of pride in her chest that she was being compared to a woman that was so clearly adored by her ex-husband and, from what she knew, her grandson as well "thank you,"

He rested his head back against the pillow "she was such a fiery woman, full of passion," he grinned in recollection of some memory to obscure to share or remember in all clarity "when she get mad she used to wave her hands around above her head," he gestured half-heartedly "and she could hold a grudge like there was no tomorrow…" he trailed off realizing he was rambling "she deserved better,"

"Daniel used to go and see her," Vala ventured, offering up a small piece of information to try and break the semi-uncomfortable silence that followed.

Nick looked startled "he did?"

She nodded "Every fortnight,"

"Did you ever… meet her?"

Vala shook her head "it was before we got married, he was going to take me to see her but…" she swallowed and shook her head "he stopped going after that,"

"After what?" Nick pressed.

_The door clicked softly behind him and the glare of the hallway lights were shuttered out, the only light in the room was provided by the dim glow of the bedside lamp, sighing a little in sadness he took off his jacket and threw it over the chair. He wasn't sure why he hadn't gone home, maybe because this place was more familiar. Shuffling towards the bathroom he jumped when there was a sharp rap at the door, sorely tempted to just ignore it he toyed with the idea until the knocking persisted._

"_Vala," he sighed as he opened the door and the raven-haired alien grinned at him broadly._

"_Hello Daniel," she said "can I come in?"_

"_Sure," he said sarcastically but stepped aside anyway "why not?"_

_She flounced her way in, pigtails bobbing in a fashion that was a crude imitation of an innocence they both knew she didn't possess "why is it so dark in her Daniel," she slurred his name as always but he couldn't conjure the will to care at the moment, she flicked the light switch and he resisted the urge to flinch at the abrupt intrusion of light "that's better," she smiled at him brightly, but a moment later the grin faded "what's wrong?" _

"_Nothing," he moved towards the bathroom to have a shower, hoping that she would have left by the time he returned; needless to say she had not, and was waiting patiently on his bed, rifling through a book whose title he didn't catch when he came back in. He sighed and scrubbed at his damp hair idly._

"_Is it Moira?" she asked and he looked at her; all of the usual sexual undertones that danced without shame through her eyes had dimmed "is she all right?"  
_

_He shook his head "she took a turn for the worst," he replied and was surprised at how hard he had to fight to stop his voice from catching "her doctor's don't think she's going to get any better," he'd always known it was a possibility but that's what hope was for right?_

"_But you said that they-"_

"_I know what they said Vala!" he snapped and a moment later he felt ashamed at his outburst "look I'm sorry… just… perhaps you shouldn't come with me next time, maybe when she's…" he caught himself and tried again "maybe…"_

_Vala nodded and got to her feet, she reached the door before turning around and walking back, wrapping her arms around his neck she hugged him, letting the embrace last just long enough before she pulled away "I'm sorry Daniel," she whispered softly "if there's anything I can do…" she left her sentence unfinished, gave him a sympathetic smile and left the room._

Vala shook her head "it doesn't matter,"

Nick gave her a funny look but came to the conclusion she wasn't going to share so let it be.

"I think I'll go get Daniel now," she said after a moment of silence, pushing her chair back and getting to her feet, Nick said nothing until she had almost left the infirmary entirely.

"Vala," he called out.

"Yes?"

"What color did Daniel wear?"

She frowned at him then it dawned on her "blue… he said she liked blue,"

Nick nodded and averted his gaze. Blue.

"_So many colors," she said, eyes drifting close "red and green and purple… blue!" her eyes snapped open "he wore blue!"_

"_Who?"_

_She smiled, almost singing to herself "all grown up now, big and strong,"_

_From strong and adamant that she was right and he was wrong to the dazed ramblings of a woman who no longer made sense to anyone who listened: the words came out but they didn't mean anything._

_She hummed to herself._

"_Who wore blue?" Nick pressed as if it genuinely mattered._

"_He did of course," Moira said sharply "and before you ask; he told me," she gestured off handedly at her eyes but her frustration was evident. _

"_Who Moira?"_

"_For someone with so much book learnin'," he accent went from the rich tones of northern America to the warm brogue of the south "you're not all that bright," _

She was right. He wasn't; it should have been obvious, like everything else over the years. She'd been a teenager when she'd devoted her life to him, a child and he had taken advantage of that, even if such a union was not frowned upon in that day and age he should have done more. He should have noticed when she'd swept the patio, complimented her hair and her cooking… he should have been there for her when her world had started crumbling.

Instead she had been alone, lost in a turbulent sea of memories and pain she couldn't place or name, faces that were blurred and colors that were bright in eyes that had not seen for so many years confusing and tormenting her. And for the first time since her death he released himself to catharsis, letting himself weep not over the loss of the woman, but of every opportunity he had missed.

_Author's Notes: I don't like the end of this chapter and I rewrote it several times but still couldn't find one I was happy with :P Anyway, end of Chapter 70! Please review!! _

_Next Chapter: Jacek's treading a very thin line and Vala shares a piece of her past with her husband._


	71. The Turning of the Races

_Disclaimer: __Most of this chapter is script – I'm sorry! – but if I get it all in this one, there won't be any more scripted pieces :) Script is not mine._

_Author's Notes: Check out my profile – there's a bit of a challenge/game type thing on there, take a look, and give it a go!! :)_

Chapter 71: The Turning of the Races

"Should we come back?" Daniel asked but was drowned out by Vala rapping harder on Jacek's apartment door.

"Jacek!" she hollered "it's Vala!"

"Maybe we should just go," he tried again, it wasn't that he didn't want to help Vala talk with her father but more the fact that there was considerably more pressing matters to deal with at the SGC. They had a briefing in a few hours regarding the rather abrupt departure of the Asguard, the mountain was still milling with refugees, albeit it not as many as there had been a couple of months ago as they had managed to be relocated. There was also Nick to think about, although for now the man was asleep, but that didn't mean there weren't things to discuss; besides, whilst the Scot was rather attached to Lexy, it was only fair that Beckett's entire day off wasn't consumed by playing baby sitter to someone else's daughter.

"No," Vala said, lengthening the word until it became three syllables "excuse me,"

Dutifully, he stepped back and watched as she unscrupulously crouched in front of the door, pulled a lock-picking set out of her sleeve and began fiddling expertly with the lock. When it opened without much effort, possibly even unlocked already, Daniel assumed, she looked disappointed.

"Too easy," she announced, shooting her husband a backward glance, before standing up again and pushing the door open carefully, and looking around the obviously empty apartment, "Jacek?" she tried, wandering through the tasteless decorations of the living room and into the kitchen "dad?" the bedroom was right ahead of her, and whilst it wasn't as bright as the lounge, it was still a suitable eyesore to be in there.

"Hello?" Daniel called down the hall, before joining Vala in the bedroom "he's not here,"

Vala cocked her head to one side and looked at him carefully before delicately moving a pile of carefully arranged underwear on the bed, uncovering the device she let out a huff of disbelieve and threw it to Daniel a little more forcefully than was perhaps necessary. He caught it awkwardly.

"Ugh," she groaned "I knew it! He's removed his ankle monitor – I told you he's been playing you for fools all along!"

Daniel resisted the urge to smirk sympathetically at her "actually," he said "you were starting to believe him too," off her indignant look he fumbled in his pocket for his cell phone.

"If he decided to leave, it's unlikely we'll find him again," she sighed, sitting dejectedly on the bed, and rolling her eyes and looking plenty disgusted when she had to move a porn magazine out of the way "there are some things you just don't need to know," she muttered, but grinned a little at Daniel as she tossed it aside "ugh,"

He smiled back a little "I wouldn't be so sure about not finding him – during his initial physical I would imagine Doctor Lam implanted him with a subcutaneous transmitter… just in case,"

Vala blinked at him in surprise, then her expression began to descend into growing anger as Daniel held his cell phone to his ear, waiting patiently for someone to pick up "you didn't trust him, but you talked him into coming here anyway? You _all_ did!"

Daniel shrugged a little "eh, he's not _my _father," Vala had no chance to reply as he spoke into his cell phone "Sam, its Daniel,"

As if to prove a point, Vala huffed in exaggerated exasperation.

* * *

"What's going on?" Cam asked as he and Teal'c walked into the control room to be greeted by Sam tapping away at a computer terminal.

"Jacek's on the run," she replied.

Cam sighed "figures – we got anything on him yet'?"

Sam nodded "his locator signal places him approximately six miles west of Colorado Springs,"

"Have we dispatched a team to the area?" Teal'c asked serenely.

"Yeah," she said absently "Daniel and Vala just got there," then into the 'com "Daniel?"

There was a crunching sound that sounded like gravel followed by a breath of static "we're parked and we're proceeding on foot,"

Mitchell looked at the computer monitor as it showed a grid section of a satellite view of a park. Two blue dots were blinking near the edge of the woods and began moving rapidly towards a less mobile red dot.

"You're headed straight for him," Sam informed them.

* * *

"Well… let's… let's start over again. There's seven in total. Three for you, three for me; one of for me. It's for the house as we call it," Jacek was further up the trail than Daniel and Vala who had taken cover behind a large tree some what further back, he was speaking to a lone man who's back was to them.

In a sotto voice Daniel said to Vala "I didn't know your father had any friends here on Earth,"

Vala gave him a contemptuous look "neither did I,"

Taking in this piece of information, Daniel slipped the safety of his sidearm and cocked his Beretta before creeping out into the open, years of practice meant Jacek did not notice him, far too engrossed in speaking to his companion.

"You can't go back on this deal – we had an arrangement," Jacek said charmingly "do you have a superior I could talk to?"

"Jacek?" Daniel said.

The man with Jacek spun around and pulled a zat from beneath his coat, firing it blindly in Daniel's general direction; reacting on instinct Daniel returned fire. Keeping his gun trained on the fallen man, Daniel began to creep forwards as Vala ducked out, shoving Jacek aside as she slowed to a walk and crouched next to the man; lifting his cap she reveal a Jaffa tattoo on his forehead. "Jaffa," she announced, glancing back at Daniel.

Grimacing, Daniel turned his pistol from the dead Jaffa to Jacek; the day had just gotten worse.

* * *

"Jacek was carrying that with him," Sam said, referring to the small, handheld device in Landry's hand "it's a short range communicator he probably used to contact the Jaffa,"

"No doubt he snuck it in with his personal effects," Vala muttered.

"Turns out we didn't destroy all of the ships intended for the attack," Cam stated "One of them was dispatched early and it's been sitting somewhere here on Earth waiting for the order to strike,"

Vala shoot Daniel a smug look, dutifully Daniel just raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"And he knew this all along?" Landry was incredulous that the man had not only manage to dupe Vala, but everyone working in the command as well, then to with hold such vital information from them when they had done nothing but give him what he wanted; a sanctuary, a home – lease fully paid courtesy of the US Government, plus living expenses and enough extra cash to buy him the occasional luxury.

"He got his intel from some heavily involved Jaffa who were having second thoughts about the whole thing. Apparently, he knew them from some 'weapons smuggling operation' he used to run?" Daniel looked at Vala who simply hummed a little under her breath.; they exchanged humourless smiles.

"He found out about the cargo ships and made a deal with us so, we wouldn't send him on his way as soon as we found out he'd snuck inside with Lupo's company," Sam contributed.

"Where he made a deal with the Jaffa: they'd give him the naquada, he would sell it and they would split the proceeds," Cam sighed wearily "nice and tidy."

Landry shot him a look "where's this cargo ship located?"

"He doesn't know," Mitchell made an effort to look less casual "the Jaffa he was with was his contact and he's gone so…"

Cutting in before it turned into a discussion of who shot who first and why, Vala asked "can't he just locate this cargo ship the same way we did the others?"

"No, that won't work this time," Daniel said "This particular cargo ship is clocked, so doing an orbital scan won't reveal any trace of the naquada,"

"But, Jacek claims that Arkad marked the naquada to make sure that none of is men would try and double cross him. He says he can calibrate our detection systems to pick up its unique energy signature," Sam added, trying to put some more optimism into the conversation.

Vala smiled and shrugged "just out of interest, what did he ask for in return?"

"Uh…" Mitchell was momentarily thrown "we recover the naquada, we give it to him, he sells it, an we split the profits fifty-fifty,"

Vala rolled her eyes and nodded.

"And what was your counteroffer?" Landry asked pointedly.

Cam grinned "he gets zero, and we don't lock him away for the rest of his life… he took the offer,"

* * *

"See, you've cast too wide a variance. If you just narrow the parameters," Jacek leaned over Mckay's computer terminal.

"Yes I can see that," Mckay snapped, typing a few keys "narrowing the parameters," he muttered "of course we needed to narrow the parameters," he smirked as the computer screen refreshed itself "genius,"

Sam gave them both a sceptical look before looking again at her own computer screen.

"Oh I don't know about genius," Jacek said and Sam almost choked on the sip of coffee she had just taken "just marginally brilliant,"

Mckay glared at him as he slapped the astrophysicists back with a familiarity that was out of place, deciding trying to determine whether Jacek was denying his own genius or Mckay's, Mckay decided his intelligence had far better uses "now I just need to sync it up…" he continued to type frantically.

Jacek walked over to stand just across from Carter's station "so how are the readings come along?"

"Slowly," Sam's voice was low and measured.

"It's no wonder," Jacek sighed "I don't mind telling you, I'm a little disappointed with this facility. I was expecting more."

Sam looked around the lab and then nodded her head in abject agreement "well at times, so do we. But the truth is that the Stargate Program doesn't get the support it used to from the people in charge,"

"Why ever not?" Jacek looked comically horrified at the thought.

Sam opened her mouth to respond because in all fairness it was a good question but Mckay interrupted with a smug snort of success "one down, twelve to go," he announced, Sam and Jacek looked at him momentarily.

"That's too bad," Jacek mused "because after all your Stargate Program has accomplished for this network of planets, I would think the decision makers would show it the respect it deserves."

Sam shrugged "yeah" she said without commitment, his sleazy undertone making her uncomfortable.

"Say, how'd you like to go out to dinner with me once this is all over?"

Sam stared at him, shocked "I don't think so,"

"Why not?" Jacek asked, mock-offended.

"Well for starters I'm an incredibly busy person with very little free time, there's the fact I'm already seeing someone… oh!" she gave him a snide look "and you're a jerk,"

Recovering admirably quickly Jacek continued "oh, of course there's that. Look I'm sorry I had to trick you, but if you'd known what I had planned you would never have let me stay on this planet,"

Sam glared at him "I'm talking about the way you treated Vala – to think that for the first time since she was a child, she was actually beginning to trust you,"

Jacek just blinked and looked nonplussed by this proclamation.

* * *

Landry looked up as Sam and Jacek entered his office with a soft tap to the door "sir, we finished calibrating the device, and we've got a lock on their location. They're approximately… thirty miles outside of… Cheyenne Mountain. It seems that one of the targets was the Stargate."

"Tell them I'll send in some tactical units,"

Sam nodded but Jacek raised his finger.

"I wouldn't. If the Jaffa suspect they're about to be compromised, I have no doubt they'll detonate the naquada. Uh… I would suggest using a little stealth and cunning to take them off-guard." He rocked back on his heels "and I'd be happy to help out,"

"No thanks," Landry replied quickly, picking up the phone and dialling an extension.

"Well like it or not, you're gonna need my help. Some of these Jaffa know me, they _trust_ me… and there's also the matter of the rigged cargo ship,"

Landry put down the phone and looked at Sam expectantly, she looked just a surprised as he felt.

"This is the first I've heard of it, sir," she said.

"Are you sure?" Jack said "I thought I'd mentioned it. According to Te'rak, the cargo ship is rigged to blow in the event of anyone tries to move it. Now fortunately for you, I have the override code." Off the looks he was getting he added "please General! Let me help! Give me this one final shot at redemption!"

Landry sighed; if that didn't sound like a cliché waiting to happen he didn't know what did.

* * *

The black leather hugged her body like a second skin and the jacket flapped about tiredly as she fell into step beside her father, who was wearing his own travelling gear rather than the rather crude fashion sense he had picked up during his stay on Earth.

"Oh this is nice," Jacek made a stab at starting conversation "it reminds me of that afternoon we spent on Serras-Dia,"

Vala laughed without humour "running for our lives from the authorities,"

Jacek gave her a sideward grin "You've got to admit; it was great daddy-daughter time,"

"As I recall, we would not have been on the run had you not been greedy and gone back for seconds," because that was one thing Vala could say with pride about her days as a con; she didn't get greedy, not often and certainly not if there was more of a risk than of a chance of obtaining the treasure.

"I couldn't even help myself," he defended cheaply.

Vala sighed in frustration "you know you couldn't even pull of this simple naquada deal without complicating things with your silly little side scams. You always were so sloppy!" it takes precision, finesse and a certain amount of charm to pull of a successful job and Jacek's take on those three was warped at best.

"Vala?" Sam's voice crackled through Vala's radio.

"The naquada signal is emanating approximately a half-mile north of your position.

"I'll confirm visual sighting. Requesting radio silence."

Jacek smiled fondly at her "whatever happened to that boy you used to like? The one whose father was a merchant? I always thought you two would end up together – not that I don't like Daniel; a wonderful man if I do say so myself, a little distracted possibly but-"

"Veron Karn?"

Jacek nodded his affirmation.

"We were ten…?" she said incredulously.

"Yes?"

"And he moved away,"

"Aww, that's too bad," Jacek said, stepping over a protruding tree root "I saw a lot of potential in him."

"Could you stop trying to endear yourself to me?" she suddenly snapped "as far as I'm concerned, you're a lost cause and I wouldn't be surprised if you were somehow involved in Arkad's plot against Earth,"

"Oh," Jacek looked suitably offended "that would be low, even for me,"

"I have no idea what you're capable of,"

The sound of a staff weapon being fired up cut off any further conversation and Vala freed her zat from its holster and aimed it at a Jaffa emerging from the foliage. There was a buzz of more staff weapons being primed and more Jaffa appeared, all armed and clearly meaning business.

"Uh, hey fellas, it's me – Jacek," he said unthreateningly "uh, me and my partner, actually my daughter – isn't she pretty?"

Vala rolled her eyes.

"We're here to check out the merchandise, is that okay?"

Vala put her zat back into its holster with a sigh.

There's been a chance of plans Jacek," one Jaffa said "and unfortunately, you're no longer part of this new arrangement."

* * *

"Oh Jacek, you idiot," Vala's voice filtered through the radio.

"That's the signal," Daniel said.

"Let's go," Mitchell firmed his hold on his weapon as he and Daniel rushed towards Vala and Jacek's position and Sam checked the readings on her scanner and headed off in another direction.

* * *

"Look, there's no need for you to… carry on with your attack, because Arkad is dead and there's no need to sacrifice yourselves." Vala said, hand itching to get her zat again but knowing doing so would not be easy without attracting the jaffa's attention and besides, getting trigger happy, wasn't part of the plan.

"Or the naquadah! Let's talk deal," Jacek said, obviously antsy at the prospect of loosing absolutely everything he'd bartered to get.

"I believe that was Te'rak's intention…" De'vir said "before he disappeared," he continued ominously.

"Really?" Jacek said, trying to act innocent and failing abysmally "I… I hope he's all right. He probably just got lost. These woods are… very confusing. You can get turned around so easily…"

"Enough!" De'vir barked, pointing his staff weapon at Vala, who suddenly found it much easier to act scared when there was a genuine threat.

"Wait!" Jacek cried "I… I can't watch my daughter die,"

The jaffa unanimously pointed their weapons at Jacek.

"I can't watch me die either!" Jacek grimaced in anticipation as De'vir primed his weapon, however his fear was short lived when, behind the jaffa, Cam leapt out of the bushes and fired his P-90 once straight into the air. The alien men instantly turned to zero in on this new threat, De'vir however saw it for the distraction it was and turned back to fire at Jacek. Vala threw herself bodily at him and they both fell behind a tree, unscathed.

"Thanks honey," Jacek said softly.

Vala scrambled up and dusted herself off, nodding curtly in response as she pulled her zat out seamlessly.

"Vala! Get to the ship!" Cam called as he and Daniel exchanged rapid fire with the jaffa; Vala and Jacek skulked away, concealed by the undergrowth.

* * *

The clearing was apparently empty, and little – if no – attention would have been drawn to it were it not for the single jaffa patrolling the area. Vala shot him in the back with her zat and he crumpled to the floor, she and Jacek approached the motionless body and carefully Vala reached down and picked up a small rock, tossing it into the clearing; she remained unsurprised when the scenery rippled and the location of the cloaked tel'tak was revealed.

Pressing the button her radio, Vala spoke "I've located the cargo ship," she started to approached the ship but Jacek caught her arm and pulled her back.

"Hold it," he said "the naquada on that ship is rigged to blow unless I input the override code Te'rak gave me,"

Conceding his point she nodded "all right," she holstered her weapon again "I'm coming with you,"

"No!" Jacek cried – did he sound nervous? – "I'm not going to risk your life too!" oh yeah, he was definitely trying to fool someone, certainly wasn't going to be her though… she resisted the urge to smirk.

"Listen to your father for once," he said, taking her shoulders and kissing her firmly on the forehead "please," clicking his tongue and pointing at his daughter he waited for her to respond. Reluctantly she imitated the gesture and watched Jacek leave.

Vala waited dutifully where her father had left her, fighting the urge to go and take action herself, she knew what he was going to do, and she knew that SG1 had a plan – they always did – but that didn't mean she felt absurdly helpless stood in a clearing. Closing her eyes, she started counting under her breath to try and calm herself "ten…nine…eight…" she sighed and waited a moment before reopening her eyes when she heard the drone of the tel'tak uncloaking and flying away. Keying her radio she said wearily "Jacek?"

"Sorry sweetheart," Jacek said back, and she knew better than to believe it "there never was an override code. Take care of yourself," pause "daddy loves you,"

And the disturbing thing was, he genuinely believed he did. He didn't, he couldn't, and she knew that; words mean nothing when the actions don't support them. He could say 'I love you' all he wanted, that didn't mean he meant it. All the same it still stung, watching him flying away again, a part of her, the desperate little girl, once again mourning the loss of her father.

"Vala?" Daniel's voice crackled through the radio "is everything okay?"

Taking a breath and shaking herself she replied "everything's fine this end; how'd it go over there?"

"The real cargo ship is secure," Sam joined in "guess we won't be needing that over ride code," she added after an uncomfortable pause.

"No, you won't," Vala said, swallowing the bitter emotions rising in her chest; it shouldn't be affecting her like this.

"Sorry Vala," Sam's sympathy was evident even over the radio.

Vala turned to the jaffa guard who had crumpled under the zat when she and Jacek had entered the clearing "you okay muscles?" she crouched by him, leather jacket pooling on the floor.

"I am fine," Teal'c intoned gruffly "did everything go according to plan?"

She nodded "yeah… come on," she slapped his chest and helped him to his feet.

"Vala?" Daniel's voice was soft as he tried to talk to her again.

"I'm fine Daniel," she hit the button on her radio to respond "we're heading back…see you at the cars,"

Teal'c glanced sideways at her as she flicked the radio off and pull the wire from her ear.

* * *

Hair strewn into a rough pony tail, Vala went through to the living room, "Lexy's just gone down," she said, picking up an empty glass off the side "do you want a coffee?" she paused in the doorway to the kitchen.

"I'm good thanks," Daniel replied, glancing away from the TV and smiling at her.

She nodded and went into the kitchen anyway and over the voice of the narrator of the documentary that was flickering on the set Daniel heard the clink of glasses and pans, then water running as she started washing up. It wasn't long before she came back through "I'm gonna go to bed,"

"Vala…" Daniel started flicking the television off and moving swiftly around the couch to catch up with her as she went into the bedroom "can we talk?"

"What about?" she asked lightly, pulling her top over her head and putting on her t-shirt before stepping out of her jeans and slipping into a pair of shorts "Daniel?" she prompted, tugging the tie from her hair and brushing the knots out hastily with a comb.

"Are you okay?" he asked carefully.

She looked at him "why wouldn't I be?" she sat on the bed, slim legs curled beneath her as she studied him with piercing blue-grey eyes, abruptly they narrowed "is this about Jacek?"

He winced as she threatened to glare at him "you have every right to be upset,"

"Well I'm not,"

"He left you,"

"He's done it before," she countered "believe me I'm used to it,"

"You trusted him," Daniel spoke softly "I know I'd be angry if it had been me,"

"Daniel," she sighed, exasperatedly "the relationship I have with my father is complicated… for the better part of my childhood he wasn't around and when he was… silly little gifts from flea markets and petty traders," she reminisced "he never loved me Daniel, Jacek never loved anyone,"

"I'm sure that's not true," but he knew it probably was, it was the right thing to say, to convince her of what it was a childish fantasy to believe because that's what he had.

Realistically he knew if he'd grown up with his parents he would have gone through the typical teenage rebellion of hating them for invading his personal space, sticking their noses where they didn't belong, and generally walking into rooms they shouldn't. Getting 'the talk' from his father and the 'other talk' from his mother, arguing over nonsensical things that three hours after the fact meant nothing but at the time were the be all and end all; but he'd been eight when his parents had died, to young to think of the annoyance they could provide; the irritation.

At eight they were still his safety net, still loved unconditionally, provided everything he could have dreamt of and if they didn't, well, they usually came up with something much better. And no matter how much he told himself that the perfect, idealistic vision he had of them only wasn't jaded was because his relationship with his parents hadn't lasted long enough to become cynical and strained by the pressures growing up puts on it.

Vala snorted derisively and picked at a loose cotton on the duvet.

Daniel climbed to sit on the bed in front of her, the mattress dipping under his weight "even if he didn't, that doesn't mean you don't,"

"Daniel…" she protested only she didn't know what she was protesting against because he was right and she hated that; not that he was right but the fact that she did love Jacek, even after years of neglect and repression, pushing down any feeling other than the warning voice in the back of her head that screamed out it's dissent every time she laid eyes on him because he would only disappoint her again; raise her hopes only to drop them from a great height all over again.

He studied her carefully and did naught but wait patiently as she slipped off the bed with a lithe gracefulness; padding across the floor to a chair in the corner she opened the bag sat there. She was slow in whatever she was retrieving but Daniel didn't push her, staying where he was until she took a calming breath and moved back over to resume her position on the bed.

The box wasn't huge, but it wasn't exactly small either; it was sturdy, made from wood – most likely not one found on Earth – and the sides were smooth and shiny with varnish. The top had a silver plate on it; intricate patterns sculpted into the metal. Slipping the catch, and moving far more quickly than she had so far, Vala lifted the lid and turned the box in her lap to face her husband.

Daniel nodded, reaching out and after an unspoken approval, he gently lifted a necklace from the box; the chain was light and made of something akin to silver but possibly not, and the pendant was amethyst; it glittered when it caught the light and Daniel replaced it when Vala started speaking,

"I can't say I wasn't expecting him to leave," she spoke after a long moment "but…"

Daniel smiled a little at her "a part of you was hoping he wouldn't," he finished softly.

They stayed in comfortable silence for a while, until Daniel broke the solitude with a quiet question of inquiry: "did your father get you all of these?"

Vala gave a small, but bright, smile and nodded "every time he returned from his travels he'd come back with a little trinket for me," she pointed to a particular ring "this one came from a little planet called Satara; Que'tesh took control of it shortly after I became her host," she paused and chose another piece of jewellery whose story she could tell.

Daniel just watched, listened and smiled as she started again; she was okay.

* * *

"Good morning Colonel Carter," General Landry said as he came down the stairs into the control room and Sam turned from where she was working to smile in greeting at him.

"Good morning sir," she replied politely.

"How's it going today Walter?" the General asked the technician, clapping a hand on the slighter man's shoulder.

"Fine sir… very good," he stammered.

Landry nodded and turned around again when he heard a familiar thrum of technology and a flicker of light caught his eye.

"Thor," Sam said, a confused expression on her face "what're you doing back?"

"Greetings Colonel Carter," the little grey alien replied, turning his head to face Landry, continuing gravely "we have some things to discuss,"

_Author's Notes: Don't forget to check out my profile!!_

_Next Chapter: Thor elaborates on this new threat facing SG1 and how to defeat it._


	72. Common Enemies

_Author's Notes: Sorry if this chapter is a bit jumpy, no matter how many times I reworked it I just couldn't get it to work... also, if any of you participated in the 'challenge/game' or any of you want too, there is a new one up 'coz the last one got completed... take a look if you want. :D_

_**everlover**__: I don't know whether you've been to my profile since sending me the pm but if not (and if you're reading this fiction, I'm presuming you are!) would you please take a look at it (my reply is there) and pm me as soon as you can?_

Chapter 72: Common Enemies

"The San Graal destroyed the Ori," Thor announced to the briefing room "it was not successful, however, in eliminating the entirety of the threat they posed,"

"Thor?" Sam prompted after a moments silence in which everyone looked like they were about to say something but all assuming someone else was going to break the proverbial ice.

"Despite their demise, the followers of Origin remain loyal and Adria is assuming the position the Ori previously filled. Many planets in this galaxy are already under her control,"

"I can't decide which is worse," Cam quipped "rogue super-humans or an obnoxious little brat with mommy issues,"

The look Thor gave him was filled with contempt and abject disapproval.

"What are you suggesting?" Daniel inquired.

"The races are convening," the alien responded "General Landry has the coordinates of the Summit's location"

"Woah, woah," Jack jumped in "Summit?"

"The Orisi must be stopped," Thor stated as if he thought that the humans in front of him were being purposefully obtuse.

"Can't the Ancients help?" Vala asked "I mean-"

"The Ancients retain their position on the matter of interference. The Asguard, the Nox, the Furlings and what remains of the Tok'ra feel otherwise,"

"And you want us to be there?" Landry attempted to clarify the situation.

"Representatives of Earth are invited to be present at the Summit," he looked to Daniel and Vala "it would be best if Doctor and Vala Jackson were among those present at the meeting,"

"What?" Vala exclaimed "why?"

Thor returned his gaze to the General "the Summit begins in a day; a communication will be sent when your presence is required," and before another word could be said, Thor was beamed back aboard his ship.

"Well if this isn't one huge, honkin' cliché," Cam stated derisively.

* * *

"Well obviously I'll be one of the chosen representatives," Mckay said "of course it makes sense,"

"Of course," Sam said sarcastically, filling her spoon with jello.

"Why's Thor so adamant that you and the missus go Jackson?" Ferretti pulled up a chair and dug heartily into his mash potato.

Daniel shrugged "I have no idea,"

Ferretti nodded enthusiastically "maybe the little guy's just taking a shining for you," he smirked at the couple and took a sip of his coffee.

Daniel nodded at, noting his sarcasm "General," he greeted Landry as he approached the table the group was sat around "everything all right?"

"I've spoken with the President and the Pentagon," he informed them "they believe it would be best if both representatives of the SGC and of the Atlantis expedition were to be present,"

"But sir…" Cam started "doesn't Atlantis have its own problems to deal with?"

Landry shrugged "it was the President's decision; I've already sent a message to Doctor Weir calling Colonel Sheppard, Ronon and Teyla back. She feels that they're the best people for the job,"

"Surely they're needed on Atlantis," Daniel pointed out.

"Apparently wraith activity has been minimal over the past few weeks; there's been no sign of the Replicators either," Landry replied "they're due to arrive at 1600; I'll schedule a briefing shortly after their arrival,"

* * *

"Hey," Daniel said quietly as he stepped into the cubicle his grandfather was currently occupying.

"Daniel," Nick greeted with a warm smile "how're you doing?"

"I'm fine," he replied "Thor just dropped by,"

"Oh?" Nick tried to push himself into a sitting position but broke into a coughing fit instead "I'm okay," he said, brushing Daniel away when he tried to help.

"Nick-"

"I'm okay!" he exclaimed short temperedly, flopping back against the pillows when he finally managed to heap them the way he wanted "what did he want?"

"Nick are you sure…?"

"Daniel," the older man said with a warning tone to his voice "I'm fine. What did Thor want?"

Daniel sighed and sat on the end of his grandfather's bed before answering "Adria's still out there,"

"The San Graal worked though? It destroyed the Ori?" the note of panic in his voice was impossible to eradicate, although that did not stop him from trying to conceal it.

Daniel nodded "there's a Summit tomorrow, we'll be sent a communiqué as soon as we're needed,"

Nick gave a knowledgeable inclination of his head, staring thoughtfully at the floor for a moment before looking up "how's Vala?"

"She's okay," he replied, voice measured "still a little shaken I think from Jacek's visit but she's gonna be fine,"

Nick smiled "of course she will," he said, without sounding the slightest bit smug.

He frowned at his grandfather but didn't press him. It was so odd… when Nick had returned to the SGC with the help of Thor, it had been under pretences none of them presumed to understand, he looked different, he sounded different; to all intents and purposes it was very hard to accept that the man had been Nick. The intimate knowledge of Daniel and his family, his relationship with his parents, his mother… that had proven the 'impostor's' identity but it had been a different thing all together to accept the fact.

Now he was old again and every time Daniel blinked it was like he expected it to be some momentary hallucination, some trick of the like and that Nick really would look forty all over again, he wouldn't be old and wrinkled and… and dying really, in the hospital bed. Oh Carolyn had said he was perfectly healthy but he was Nick and Nick was eighty-six years old…

"So this summit," Nick said, growing somewhat uncomfortable and impatient with the scrutiny "did Thor say anything else?"

* * *

"Hey," Vala said, looking up from her position on the floor as Daniel walked into his office "Nick all right?"

"Yeah," he replied almost absently, crouching down as Lexy waved her hands above her head and giggled, "hey," he whispered, catching her attention.

She silenced and looked at him with her bright blue eyes before pitching herself forwards onto her hands and knees and crawling over to him "dada," she babbled as she sat promptly in front of him.

He grinned at her, glancing at Vala who hadn't moved from where she was sitting, surrounded by baby toys, but was smiling fondly at her daughter "yeah," he nodded, praising the child "have you been playing with mommy?"

Lexy's hands curled in front her face as she smiled brightly at him "mama," she answered, pointing at her mother; her interest soon waned as she began studying her hands and pointing at every finger on one hand with the other; in a gesture that was almost like counting but in fact wasn't.

"She seems to get on with Mckay," Vala said, nodding slightly in the direction of Lexy.

"I know," Daniel replied, looking up "can't say I would have expected him to get on with her as well though,"

Vala smiled "stranger things have happened,"

Daniel went to reply but got smacked in the chin by a flailing hand as Lexy heaved herself to her feet using her father's bent knees as leverage.

"Up!" she cried delightedly.

He went to pick her up but she batted his hands away.

"No," she said resolutely "_no_,"

Vala couldn't help but laugh at the expression on her husband's face.

* * *

Cam leant on the doorjamb, his arms folded as he waited for Carolyn to tear her eyes away from her computer screen and notice his presence. It didn't take long.

"Cam," she sounded vaguely surprised "everything okay?"

"Yeah," he said, straightening up "just avoiding paperwork,"

She shook her head in amused disbelief as she got to her feet to retrieve a patient file from the cabinet "I heard about Thor,"

"Cryptic little guy isn't he?"

She laughed "what did he want?"

"Something about a summit… he didn't say much more; though he did insist that Jackson and Vala be there,"

"General Landry decided whose going?"

It would never cease to amaze him how precise Carolyn would be in dissociating from the relationship between herself and the commander of the base during the day but outside of work he instantly reverted back to 'dad'. He knew there were issues between the two of them but the passed few years had hopefully allowed the two of them to resolve a few.

"Atlantis' first team and SG1 as far as I know,"

She nodded then there was a slightly uncomfortable pause "are you free tonight?"

"Yeah," he said after a moment's thought "why?"

"Mom's in town… she wants to have dinner,"

He nodded "sure – you're dad gonna be there?"

Carolyn took a breath, "I hope so,"

* * *

The klaxons sounded as the chevrons on the 'gate lit up and the familiar rumble of the coordinates encoding reverberated throughout the 'gate room as the blast doors opened and the airmen filed through to stand guard at the base of the ramp as they always did.

Walter heard footsteps behind him but didn't need to glance around to know it was General Landry who had come to greet the Atlantis team at the scheduled time. The Kawoosh billowed out and the familiar flickering shadows started dancing on the walls as the wormhole formed and the three members of SGA-1 who weren't already on Earth, stepped through.

_Author's Notes: I'm not a big fan of this chapter, I just think it's so… it just seems to fire information rather than tell the story add to that it seems determinately short...__ oh well, I hope you lot liked it… and continue reading!! Um... I also noticed that last chapter had loads of hits but only 1 review... I'm not begging for reviews but I - like all other writers - enjoy getting them, so don't forget, whether it's this fiction, or any other, to review it!!_

_Next Chapter: Mckay is more than happy to demonstrate his newfound friendship to his Atlantis team mates as news reaches the SGC that a key member of the Atlantis expedition met an untimely end, just what is this 'Last Summit' all about and how precisely does Lexy fit into all this? _


	73. The Last Summit

_Disclaimer: There is the __tiniest__ amount of script in this from 'Family Ties', absolutely minute… maybe three lines? And the restaurant setting I guess (the general plot of them going to dinner with Carolyn's mother) not much but enough that __someone__ would complain if I didn't say I don't own it!! Also references to Atlantis' Sunday though I have changed it (Beckett self-evidently isn't dead due to his presence.)_

_Author's Notes: Well here it guys (I can't believe I'm doing this lol!); the final chapter.. It's been so fun writing this – certainly a learning experience – its popularity awe-inspiring; my second SG1 fiction and first that wasn't a one shot. Thank you all for sticking with this story and some of you (regular reviewers in particular) actually made me write the bits I didn't want too and check over events I'd perhaps over-looked. I would love to thank you all individually (maybe I will if you review lol!) but I'd inevitably miss somebody out and that wouldn't be fair :P _

_There seems to be a fair few jumps through time frames, shifting from character to character at different times… nothing different than what has happened before but slightly more noticeable (I think) given that it's all in one chapter. Anyway, thank you and please, read on… _

Chapter 73: The Last Summit

The blast doors swished open and the airmen stood down as soon as the wormhole disappeared and SGA-1 was safely down the ramp.

"Colonel Sheppard; it's good to see you son," General Landry greeted over the intercom "Teyla, Ronon… welcome to Earth,"

The trio nodded and smiled up at the control room, though Ronon's pass at a smile was a vague twitch of his furry lips that could easily have been misconceived.

"Why don't you come up to the briefing room," the General posed the order as a suggestion and watched as Sheppard nodded up at him until his attention was caught by somebody else walking into the 'gate room.

Sam greeted Sheppard with a warm handshake and Teyla with a hug that was impossible to tell whether the blonde or the Athosian had initiated. She merely nodded at Ronon who seemed inclined to do neither to accommodate her.

* * *

"You said you wanted to talk to her," Carolyn's voice drifted down the phone.

Landry sighed "I know I did Carolyn but… this is a bit sudden,"

"She just got back from Europe," the doctor answered "she's only in town for a couple of days,"

"It's been a long time," he said, he wasn't sure why he was trying to wheedle his way out; he _had_ said he wanted to talk to his ex-wife but he… well to be honest he hadn't genuinely thought that Carolyn would not only call her mother but organise a dinner.

"Five years,"

He was silent for a moment and if weren't for the fact that she couldn't hear the dial tone, Carolyn might have thought he'd hung up on her "what time?"

"I made reservations for seven thirty at Bistro Five,"

"I'll be there," he replied, "you, me and your mother right?"

"Uh…" Carolyn was quiet for a minute.

"Carolyn?" he asked, half concerned, half irritated.

"Cameron's coming,"

Landry groaned.

"Dad?" she barely gave him chance to answer "look, I want mom to meet him, and you should… outside of work,"

Of course he should but this was Cameron Mitchell, member of SG1. Landry had nothing against the younger man, he was an upstanding, pleasant young man with a quirky sense of humour and an ironic eye on the universe… but he was dating his commanding officer's daughter and that was just… just… "I'll see you later," he hung up and looked through the window to see both Atlantis' and the SGC's premiere teams walking into the briefing room, hands being shaken and greetings being exchanged.

* * *

"So Thor's going to contact us when he needs us there," Sam finished the explanation about the Summit with a somewhat vague conclusion.

Vala watched the proceedings with half an eye on her daughter who was wriggling to get out of her mother's arms; glancing at Landry who gave a subtle nod, she put Lexy on the floor, confident that the child would amuse herself down there rather than risking her starting to wail in the middle of the briefing because she was restricted to her mother's lap.

"I am still unsure of what the purpose of this… 'Summit' is," Teyla spoke calmly, her attention entirely focused on the blonde.

"We don't know," Daniel answered and the Athosian's brown eyes were immediately turned on him; her gaze intense but not uncomfortably so.

"We'll find out when we get there," Jack twirled a pencil between his fingers; Sheppard noted that he didn't look the slightest bit out of place, despite the fact he was sporting civilian clothes and the 'visitor' badge he was probably supposed to wear was no where to be seen.

Sheppard jumped when he felt something brush his leg under the table and looked down when he felt a further tug on his bootlace.

"'ello," a round face little infant looked up at him, blue eyes bright and wide in the semi-darkness that existed beneath the briefing room table, he blonde-brown ringlets accentuating her brilliant smile.

"Hello," he replied, smiling down at her then looking up at Daniel and Vala "yours?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

Daniel nodded as Vala went to get to her feet with a soft admonishment of "Lexy,"

"No," he assured the child's mother "I got her," leaning down he picked the baby up beneath her arms, slowly so as not to frighten her because despite her bold interference with his feet, chances were she would not be so confident when a complete strange picked her up "so you're Lexy huh?"

Lexy put her hands on her head and smiled bashfully at him, her hands moving in static gestures across her face and make happy noises when she found that the man holding her still had his attention focused on her.

"I'm John," he introduced himself, and not find it the slightest bit embarrassing to be holding a conversation with a ten month old baby "and this is Teyla," he pointed at the woman sat next to him who smiled fondly at her "and that," he pointed to the seat next to Teyla "that's Ronon,"

"Kay!" Lexy exclaimed after a moment "'kay! 'Kay!" she twisted around in her captor's arms until she spotted the person she was after who was sat on Sheppard's left "'kay!" she reached for him, straining in Sheppard's arms as she attempted to squirm free.

Mckay let out a theatrical sigh but put his pen down and with a very put-upon look on his face took the child from his friend's embrace, surprising both said friend and his two other team mates.

"'Kay!" Lexy cried out, clapping her tiny hands on either side of his face, causing him to give her a very indignant look "lub 'Kay!"

"Yes, yes," he said "can you be quiet for a few minutes until we finish this briefing?"

Lexy gave him a look that if she were old enough to choose her facial expressions appropriately would be aptly described as contemptuous, Mckay returned her expression with an equally petulant one but the smile that was flitting across his lips was not entirely hidden as Sheppard caught sight of it and smirked. Mckay just glared at him.

* * *

"Cameron Mitchell," Cam stuck his hand out trying to ignore the hammering in his ears because this wasn't the first time he'd met a girlfriend's parents, nor the first time he'd been out for dinner with them; it didn't get much more nerve-wracking than dating a woman whose father had the power to order his immediate dismissal so why was this time so different?

Kim took the proffered hand with a smile that was very much similar to her daughter's.

"Colonel," Carolyn added, watching the exchange between her mother and boyfriend with a vaguely nervous smile playing with her lips.

Kim pulled an appreciative face "Kim Lam," she added, then with a wink; "nothing fancy to add though,"

"Please to you meet you ma'am,"

"Kim, please," the woman insisted, gesturing for them to all take seats, once they had she continued "is your father going to be here?"

Carolyn's face fell a little but she fought to maintain her expression "he'll be here,"

Her mother nodded, then after a moment's silence, she turned to Cam "so military huh?"

Cam nodded "yes ma-" he corrected himself "_Kim_,"

Looking as if she was about to start thoroughly enjoying interrogating the duo Kim continued, smiling almost wickedly; "so how did you two meet?"

* * *

Sheppard took a seat in the commissary opposite Mckay's position as he casually scoffed a muffin whilst simultaneously skimming over his notes on something.

"You and the tyke seem to get along," he half-teased.

"Hmm," Mckay looked up "huh? Oh yes, of course,"

"I wouldn't have thought… well you know…"

Mckay raised an eyebrow at him "should I be offended Colonel?"

Sheppard rolled his eyes "you know what I mean,"

"She's an irritating little brat," he swallowed the last of the muffin, sighing "but she's cute… I think she knows that,"

Sheppard laughed; only Mckay could think that a ten month old baby could be conspiring against him; plausibly it could be a compliment to the infant if he was assuming she had the intelligence to do so. A moment later the Colonel grew somber; "uh… Mckay?"

"Yes?" his impatience was evident but why Sheppard wasn't sure because it was twenty-hundred hours and nothing could possibly be going on that was so dire it needed to be done within the next ten minutes.

Figuring it would be easier just to come out and say it because he'd promised Elizabeth that he would Sheppard took a break and said; "there was an accident on Atlantis. A lot of people got injured… Teyla included,"

"She seems fine," Mckay pointed out, his concern evident.

Sheppard pulled a face "it could have been worse… she needed stitches,"

Mckay nodded, making a mental note of it.

"Uh…" he ran a hand down his face to give himself a moment to think of how to tactically put it, failing he just went straight ahead and said it; Mckay was direct enough himself, and fancy words weren't going to change the facts; "Kavanaugh got killed,"

Mckay raised his eyebrows, he didn't look dreadfully upset but that was understandable given the astrophysicist's well known dislike for the man but his eyes had darkened somewhat, as he nodded and looked back at his plate. He wasn't going to pretend he was terribly upset by the man's demise, he was an arrogant prick who deserved much worse than people gave him but that still didn't mean he deserved to _die_.

Sheppard continued "look, Elizabeth asked me to tell you because he essentially worked for you and-"

Almost physically shaking himself out of it Mckay looked up "how much damage has Zelenka done whilst I've been gone?"

* * *

Landry readjusted his tie for what must have been the hundredth time since leaving his house; he smoothed out a crease in the dark civilian suit - just a shade off his military blues – self consciously and rebuked himself mentally for being so concerned about his appearance.

"You're late," Carolyn says shortly, sipping at a glass of white wine and looking at him over the brim.

"I'm sorry," he said, and the tone of his voice said he meant it.

"Hello Hank," Kim greeted softly.

Landry looked at his ex-wife, gazing appreciatively at her "Hello Kim,"

"We have a lot to talk about,"

"We do,"

* * *

"Just got off the phone with Thor," Jack announced ironically "they're ready when we are,"

Several members of the group in front of him nodded.

"O'Neill," Teal'c intoned "I am unsure of the reasoning behind your accompanying us on this mission,"

Jack grinned at him "special request from Thor," he said before frowning "where's Daniel and Vala?" the former USAF General asked, noting their absence.

"Nick got released from the infirmary this morning," Sam informed him "they're just dropping Lexy off with him; Daniel said they'd meet us in the 'gate room."

Jack nodded "okay then,"

* * *

It felt strange to be standing at the bottom of the 'gate ramp, surrounded by nine other people, rather than the usual four, completely unarmed because Thor had assured them that weapons would be 'unnecessary and removed upon their entrance'. Cam shifted his arms, unsure of what to do with them before settling on putting them in his pockets.

They should surely have something with them, a zat, a P-90, _something_. But Thor had been both clear and adamant. Realistically, should anything happen three of the most powerful races in the galaxy were going to be there, ships in orbit of whatever planet or location they had decided upon holding this mysterious and determinately ambiguous 'Last Summit' in.

"All set?" Cam asked as Daniel and Vala entered the 'gate room, the blast doors swishing shut behind them.

"Yep," Vala nodded, turning on her heel to face the 'gate as the Kawoosh burst out and the wormhole formed.

"Godspeed," Landry spoke across the intercom, and Jack casually saluted him before gesturing for the others to move first; the grating rattled and clanked as they walked up the ramp, the familiar sucking noise echoed through the room as each person stepped through the wormhole.

The wormhole collapsed as soon as all ten of them were through, wherever they were it was poorly lit and eerie shadows were cast across the floor and walls, Vala shivered and promptly jumped as a flash of light filled the room and they were all beamed into yet another location. This time far better furbished, actual lights and much more sophisticated than the cave they had first arrived in.

"Woah," Jack said, momentarily dizzied "warn a guy would you?" he said, noticing Thor sat in a regal looking chair at one end of the table.

Thor inclined his head "greetings General O'Neill," he said, big black eyes focusing first on Jack then shifting to the others "greetings," he repeated although in a much more generic context.

Daniel smiled and raised a hand in response; looking down the vast table Thor was sat at. He noted the presence of a man and a woman adorned in the usual attire of the Tok'ra, he recognized neither, and as was Tok'ra tradition, neither seemed overtly pleased to see them. The nymph like features of the Nox were obvious; the ethereal beauty of the woman that sat straight in her chair, inclining her head in welcome, her smile wasn't really a smile, but more the pleasant expression usually sported by her race. Another Nox, a man was sat on her right; he looked less welcoming but not nearly as standoff-ish as the Tok'ra did.

The inferiority of humans was more than obvious with the fact there were ten of them, and far less of any other race present or perhaps this demonstrated an advantage in that more opinions could be expressed in the defense of their own race?

"The Furlings are yet to arrive," the male Tok'ra announced, then to the people from Earth specifically; "you may assume your seats,"

"We may begin without them," the female Nox's voice was soft and lilting, her eyes bright as she watched the men and women from Earth fondly.

As if on cue, the room once more filled with a blinding light, and when it cleared Jack found his gaze was immediately drawn to the far end of the table, his eyes widening as they found the new presence there. The Furlings had arrived.

**The End**

_Author's Notes: I really hope my personal dislike of Kavanaugh didn't affect the characters too badly. I tried to make it sad but not __too__ sad and I hope it worked and my apologies if it didn't._

_This fiction started off as a random little idea that wouldn't go away after having seen less than six episodes that featured Vala, I was hesitant about starting it because whilst I watched SG1 as a kid when it first aired over here, I hadn't seen it in so long and what I had seen had been so little. I found it again over the summer of 2006 and it was like starting all over again but with a bizarre sense of deja-vu at times so I was unsure as to whether or not I would be able to pull off a unique fiction, in a new fandom with characters I had never worked with before._

_And on a note that I'm sure you are all waiting for (I'm being a little presumptuous there...) there __will__ be a sequel; Et Qui Sait (And Who Knows) which is already well into the planning stages and that will be up as soon as I can start it. Thanks again, and don't forget to review (no flames!) :)_


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